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Parent-Child Relationships

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those things that parents do alike for each of their children (such as feeding them, clothing them, putting them to bed, etc.). Hence we may surmise that (former) children who have become parents themselves will tend, through identification with their own parents, to adopt similar characteristics and features vis-a-vis their children as do other parents toward their children. This is at least true for the direct interaction between parent and child. General differences between certain sets or types of parents, particularly those deriving from the compatibility or incompatibility of their sibling positions, will concern us later. Experiences within one's own sibling configuration, however, not only tend to differ from the experiences of children in other families, but even from those of one's own siblings who hold different positions. It comes as no peat surprise that most people experience their own position more immediately and emphatically than they do the positions of their siblings. They learn about the latter only by identification or occasionally imagining what is going on in the other person. If it is true that everybody knows himself better than anyone else, we might conclude from this that everybody knows his own sibling position better than other sibling positions. All of this, incidentally, has nothing to do with how children should be treated as newborn babies. This aspect of child care is new for parents only with their first-born and is often not too difficult to learn. It is harder for them to accept the fact that from now on another person is here to stay, however small he or she may be at first, and that he will constantly call for the parents' attention and help. It is more difficult to realize that things do not merely repeat themselves with the arrival of the second child, but that the first child will react against the second, and eventually the second will react against the first, and the entire family situation changes. This continues with the third child, the fourth, etc. The parents, too, have to develop a relationship with each of their children, as well as toward relationships that the children develop themselves. This is often felt to be even more true when a child configuration has become final, that is, when the parents have decided not to have any

Profile for FamilyConstellation

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior  

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior  

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior

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