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only brothers, the mother only sisters), the behavior of the person in question may be more understandable. His father and mother may have found it difficult to get used to life with each other as man and woman. An attitude of war between the sexes may have prevailed in their relationship with each other. Because of their rank and sex conflict, the parents may have tended to pull the children of their own sexes to their sides to form a common front against the other sex in the family. If, moreover, their oldest son happened to be constitutionally weaker than his younger brother, or if the father, for reasons of his own, had a stronger than usual unconscious need to treat his first son like his own younger brother and to form an interactive relationship with him rather than one of identification, his oldest son may come to feel rather insecure in his seniority position vis-a-vis his siblings. He may feel he wants, or is wanted, to lean on his father rather than to assert himself, to identify with him and become a model for his siblings. Hence, perhaps, his preference for oldest siblings among his friends. His mother, in turn, might have preferred her oldest son, since he did not try to act authoritatively and as a leader. She claimed him for herself and left the second son to the father for identification with father or to assume a position of authority and seniority. If the oldest son sensed he could be sure of his mother's favor if he submitted to her and depended on her, we may have found the reason for his preference of oldest sisters among his girl friends. Every person builds his individual friendship system as he (or she) grows up. This system of friends supplements his relationships with his original family. It grows in importance as he approaches the time when his own permanent love relationships and marriage are possible. Eventually it also supplements the family life he creates for himself. Some persons could not have or imagine family life except within the context and in interaction with a smaller or larger circle of friends, whereas others do not consider those extrafamilial relationships and contacts very important. Reasons for this can be found in the original family constellations of the spouses, as well as in the degree of the couple's compatibility

Profile for FamilyConstellation

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior  

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior  

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior

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