The problem with these responses is that each person sees the change as an “all or nothing” proposition. Sadly, with that perspective, their life and/or relationship will continue to suffer and deteriorate over time. We need to shrink the change. It does not have to be “all or nothing.” The best answer lies somewhere in the middle. With good communications a couple can find reasonable answers to these relationship issues.
THE SECOND ISSUE is that we sometimes make subtle but significant changes in our behavior that are often harmful to our relationships. Let me give you an example. Last year I was talking to my wife about getting her some roses for our anniversary. She said that it had been a long time since I had done that. I disagreed, but she said that she remembers the last time and that it was on our 28th wedding anniversary. Thinking for a moment, I remembered what took place
on that day. I had always bought her a dozen roses for our anniversary. That year I thought I would do something more special so I bought her 28 roses, one for each year of our marriage. Hoping she would be elated with the surprise, I placed them on the dining room table and asked her to come into the room. Immediately she says, “You didn’t need to do that—and you bought them at the most expensive place in Lafayette.” My heart dropped, as this was not the response I was hoping for and I stopped buying her roses after that. My behavior had changed and I hadn’t realized it. Now, as I review my life, I try to correct the unintentionally hurtful changes that I have developed that adversely affect those I care about most. I challenge you to review your life and see where you’ve changed in a negative way as a reaction to a behavior from others. Notice it and correct it and you’ll bring healing and health back into your relationships.
REMEMBER THIS: 1) Change is possible and easier if we break it down into smaller pieces. It does not have to be “all or nothing.” 2) Notice the negative changes you’ve developed over time and how it is affecting relationships. 3) Take responsibility and correct these behaviors. Do this and 2017 will be the best year for all of your relationships! Be the change you want to see in others. I wish you and your family a very happy and successful New Year. Don Short is the owner of After Hours Counseling located in Lafayette, LA. His practice focuses on clients with marriage, relationship and family issues. He is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. Contact After Hours Counseling 337-781-4565 or www.afterhourscounseling.com.
faceacadiana.com | FACE 47
Published on Jan 1, 2017
FACE Magazine is the premier women's lifestyle publication in Acadiana (South Central Louisiana). Cover Story: Hannah Mason Smith