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the ger manifesto 47th International Session of the EYP

Issue 3 c


Thursday 18 November, 2004



Contents page 1 - Schleeep page 2 - Editorial page 3 - Panel Session page 4 - Energy page 5 - Foreign Affairs II & International Trade page 6 - EMA page 7 - legal Affairs page 8 - Agriculture &Future page 9 - Social Affairs page 10 -International Trade page 11 - FA 1 and Employment I page 12 -Dear David page 13 -Quotes and Mayor’s Reception page 14 -Sports Section


the germanifesto - Thursday 18 November

e d i t orial

EDITORIAL So country slightly north of Germany and south of Norway. It seems you are all talk. We waited patiently through the night for retaliation or some kind of reaction since your first letter. Clearly you are no match for our superior wit and our knowledge of fine Chilean wine. We are now proud to announce the arrival of the third issue of the germanifesto and the third edition of our award winning supplement, the megazine. We have literally slaved through the night to bring you this, surviving the invading hoard of the chairs, who saw fit to seize our pressroom for resolution writing. How rude! Anyone would think that international teams of young people had worked tirelessly to produce some kind of resolution to a problem? And that as such, it should take precedence over the inane ramblings of sleep (and sheep) depraved geniuses. We, at the germanifesto, firmly believe that the lifestyle supplement is the handbook to life that you have all been waiting for. We delve into the dark places that other supplements fear to go and expose the netherregions of fashion dos and don’ts. Remember you are what you wear. In which case we are a two-day old tee-shirts whose stench is only masked by haute couture jumper. So until next time – may the faff be with you.

Andrew and Ian

“They Did This!”


the germanifesto - Thursday 18 November

P a n e l Session

Panel Session by herr Prince charming and the Baron

You’ve just finished you’re resoultion; you’re tired, you drained and you’re desperately in need of schnitzel... you would not think that you’d be in the mood for a 3 hour Panel session but you would have been wrong. What seemed like it could have been long, tedious and uninteresting proved to be lively, original and stimulating. Beautiful surroundings, delightful food (including of course Coca-cola) and a star Panel, that could top any Britney Spears or Robbie Williams concert, made this evening special. The team of speakers that we had the pleasure of listening to had interesting, strong and diverse views on the evenings topic – “Common identity – common will?” Kemal Dervis was one of them, he started his career as an Economics undergraduate in 1969 and moved on to receive a PhD in Economics in Princeton University in 1973 before lecturing in the Department of Economics in the Middle Eastern Technical University. Several years passed and his economic career moved from strength to strength until he was named Vice-President of the World Bank in 1996. After adapting to several banking roles Mr Dervis became Turkish Minister for Economic Affairs and he is now a Member of the Turkish Parliament. In the debate Mr. Dervis highlighted his views on the subject of the integration of Turkey into the EU and sighted the example of the fact that before the European Cup final when a survey was taken in Istanbul it was found that the majority of people wanted Greece to win, he asserted that times have moved on and that past devisions are becoming less evident. Bernd Hüttemann is Secretary General of the European Movement Germany, previously he was research associate at the Institut für Europäische Politik in Berlin. Mr. Hutteman presented his views and policies in a manner that was efficient, German and beautifully alliterated- the three F’s… football, food and freedom. He felt that rather than using the propaganda machine to help integration that people should sit wagging their tongues, playing with balls and shoving schnitzel in their mouths.

Dr. Ulrike Guerot is director of foreign policy and a former Head of the European Union Section at the German Council on Foreign Relaitons. She sought to share her view of a common vision while making it clear that nothing is clear-cut in Europe. Although she was presented with the question of the UK and the possibilty of the unified EU failing due to the UK’s departure from, she responded decisively by assuring the delegate that this will never, ever, ever happen. Ever. Dr. Klaus Scharioth is the State Secretary of the Federal Foreign Office and his input into the debate was both enthusiastic and informative. He felt that an additional European Identity is emerging but he also says that, “this enlargement does not mean that we have to forego the deepening of integration”. He also made the valid point that we need an emotional investment… people need to be proud to be part of a Europe and support each other. We commend Dr Ulrike Guerot on her poise under pressure. When the demeanor of the delegates escalated to something like an angry mob, it seemed the panel was being forced to answer for conflict in Kosovo, violence in Chechnya, dispute in Cyprus, and the AIDS virus. Several delegates have a very personal connection to these issues, and allowed their passion to make them forget where they were and what they were doing. What should have been a forum on the unity and peaceful future of Europe, became a sounding board for peoples pains and division. Our esteemed guests were visibly shaken, but Dr Ulrike Guerot was not stirred. In spite of the intimidation before her, she expressed her dissapointment in the pessimism in the room, pointing out that the positive slant was being neglected; rather than asking when the hurting ends, why don’t we ask when the peace begins? Everyone, including those who had been passive throughout the discussion gave Dr Ulrike Guerot several rounds of applause, deservedly so. The whole night, although somewhat passionate was a great success.

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the germanifesto - Thursday 18 November

c o m m i t t e e work “Yeah, but it can also kill you.” 12:02 Eva (ES) nodding agreeably and looking at her cookie with pleasure. 12:12 Antoine browsing through the schedule. 12:13 I hear Jakob saying: “Accidents are special cases.” 12:15 Laptop running out of battery. 12:16 Group on Economy encounters the biomass problem. 12:16 Delegates pestering Antoine about biomass. Antoine remains silent. 12:20 Jakob explaining biomass. 12:23 An intruder, the aforementioned woman enters the room, asking for Antoine (she didn’t obviously read the sign “Authorized personnel only”). 12:24 The woman, apparently a journalist, asking the committee to gather in a circle again for a picture in a magazine (those journalists...). Cristina (RUS) discussing Environmenttype issues. 12:26 Blerim licking his lips. 12:27 I experienced a flash back of the glorious victory in the monster race, and a flash back of the horrendous accident when Chernobyl loses his tail. 12:35 Nicholas trying to see what I am typing. 12:40 Eva, Lucija (CRO), Nicholas and Jakob shocked by the inescapability of death. 12:41 Ncholas taking a sip of coke. 12:43 Hydrogen a problem for Economy. 12:53 Jolien sticks her tongue out at Blerim. 12:54 Antoine finishes colouring in the flag. 12:55 Blerim expected to donate his stick for communal purposes (i.e. the flag). 13:32 A discussion about Santa Claus (yes, we do still believe in him). 13:36 Blerim making me say that cows drink milk.

My Observations On Energy by Einstein

Laboratory work 10:01 I arrive at the laboratory, a room with glass walls, and start gathering information on my subjects inside. The executive chief of the experiment is there with me. 10:02 Room is completely re-organised with distinct groups sitting around three tables. ***A MEMORY GAP*** 10:45 I enter the room and am welcomed with friendly smiles. I learn that the three distinct groups are the three E’s (Energy, Environment, Economy), allowing discussion from different perspectives. I am impressed. 11:00 Coffee break, but the committee is just continuing with discussion. 11:13 My third cup of coffee. 11:14 I enter the room and see Joao (POR) writing a table. 11:16 Blerim (MKD) lying on the floor, eating a pear and playing with a stick. 11:17 Jolien(BEL) singing and wandering around the laboratory. 11:19 Antoine asking for a pink highlighter. 11:21 I notice nonsense on the board. 11:23 Antoine receives a pink pen. 11:26 Blerim and Jolien fighting. 11:27 Antoine gathering people into a circle on the floor. An unidentified woman passes by the laboratory. 11:29 Blerim and Jolien playing with a stick 11:31 To Antoine with love from the committee: “Can you guide us?”, “Can you write the resolution for us?” 11:40 Group on Energy encounters the biomass problem. 11:45 Jakob (AUT) playing with lid of coke bottle. 11:46 Nicholas (CHE) drinking coke. 11:47 Antoine delivering cookies. 11:48 Group on Energy puzzled by hydrogen. 11:49 Me trying to strangle myself with a scarf to see the reaction of the committee, but they simply keep on working. 11:51 Antoine colouring Energy-flowerpower-flag in pink, like an excitable child. 11:52 Antoine recalling his childhood. 12:01 I hear Jakob saying: “Fear is there to make you alive.” Nicholas adds:

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Energy 13:37 to 13:47 Maria debriefing the history and the current socio-political situation in Cyprus. 13:38 Blerim filming his feet. 13:38 Jolien singing. 13:39 Joao filming his feet! 13:50 Jacob has a theory about me: I must be one of Santa Claus’ elf helpers. 13:55 Blerim doing acrobatics. 13:56 Jakob looking like he is about to do acrobatics. At this point I have to leave... When I return, discussion is in full swing. I am trying not to bother them and to look innocent. The committee has charts and tables and graphs and data and many ideas. Time is of the essence but the group is functioning, though biomass is still plaguing the committee. Antoine gives a lesson in grammar to the committee, with three magic words: what is energy? I hear whispers of a coffee break...

Aftermath: Peuxtu me donner des cours de langue? Finally, the committee dinner. While

we gathering, we learn that Jakob has become ill and is not joining us. Blerim is eagarly asking Damien some good opening lines to win the French girls’ hearts. It evokes a conversation between some committee members. The restaurant is not far away from the train station. It turns out it is a Spanish restaurant, Lafil, and luckily we have Eva to translate the menu for people with inadequate skills in Spanish or German. After everyone receives their bebibas, we toast to our spectaculous committee. Dinner is great, even though there is some confusion over the orders. Eoghan (IRE) and Lucija are exchanging meals. The discussions around me vary from the Irish language to Spanish songs. We are enjoying ourselves. After dinner, P.O. Adrian is kind enough to lead us past the Mudd Club in the rain. Cheers.

the germanifesto - Thursday 18 November

Foreign Affairs 2 - International Trade

c o m m i t t e e work

The Dark Tuesday by Mausal

What do you do when the whole work of the previous day - the whole creative, amazing, bulky brainstorming - has been thrown in the bin by a well-meaning cleaning lady? What do you do when you realise that it’s no longer in any of the bins in the building, but is already on its way to Berlin’s recycling centre? What do you do when you are overcome with anger and panic and sadness and feel that you really, really just “want to talk with the cleaning lady and ask her how she’s been”? The answer is simple- you go to the Committee of Foreign Affairs II and you see how magically problems like these can be solved. You learn and you praise them. Have you ever heard about the legend of the phoenix? If not, then I’m going to tell you about that. And if you have, then I’m still going to tell you about it. The phoenix is a beautiful bird. It is born like any other creature, grows, develops, gets smarter, learns the ways of life and then it burns and dies. However- from the ashes, it is reborn and becomes more beautiful than ever before. That’s exactly what happened today with my dear committee. They were burned by the flames of misfortune, but they got over it together, growing even stronger and more wonderful. So by the time I got to committee work, they had put their heads together and all the brainstorming ideas had been retrieved. They had come up with a new system of grouping the ideas while searching through their brains for the lost information. I was so amazed by this productivity and efficiency after such a destructive incident.

Anyway, from what I saw, this is a very lively committee, with most of the people being extra active and passionate talkers - especially Mateusz (POL), Jurate (LTU) and Dimitri (GRE), balanced by guys like Lorenz (CHE), for example. Though these discussions were rather heated, this committee doesn’t have any problems listening to each other. Another thing that I love about this committee is their honesty. If someone asks e.g. “do you feel fine with that? “ then they can also answer “no” and through discussing the reasons, they make their way for the kind of methods, that everyone feels comfortable with. There are also people in this committee like Verena (DEU) and Litos (POR), who take care of the mental life of the group- without actually needing a chair to debrief them anymore... Another interesting thing they introduced today was the feedback board on the wall, where everyone can leave an honest message to someone. It was one of the sweetest things I had ever seen and you want to know why? This message in there weren’t fake: they came from the minds of the delegates. I was so proud of them and just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, it did... The guys of the committee had prepared a little surprise to the girls projected to the wall of the room. It was so wonderful and breath taking, that I can not really put it in words, however I did manage to take a photo of it and I hope, that it makes you see exactly how special this really was.

Konstantinos enojoys some German beer

International Trade by Mertahens, Hauptadelsarchiv Bamberg A, Taking into consideration that thirteen students from different countries have come up with a resolution by Thursday, B. Notifying with concern that due to a variety of EYP parties, certain mood changes within the committee room might occur and result in sleeping, snoring or angry delis, C. Deeply concerned about the decision making to sent the IT committee to a rather “unpleasant” restaurant, D. Alarmed by the fact that that specific delegates try to invent random theories regarding the widely known and famous “Pointing Game”, E. Recognising that certain people do not like to appear on photographs,

1. Hopes that the ITs will have two great GA days with a revolutionary resolution; 2. Encourages the need for more non-bavarian food (Klöße or Gulasch); 3. Suggests that you have to “listen very carefully and guess whoever it is”; 4. Calls for the immediate clarification regarding this important matter and eventually seek the assistance of Northern Ireland delis.

We got some talent here


the germanifesto - Thursday 18November

c o m m i t t e e work

EMA - Security & Defence

Walk the walk of rock and roll By Schweizer Katze

Let’s start with a fact – the usage of beer in Germany in the last ten years has decreased. But it’s not like that concerns us, because none of us are Germans and we carry our national pride with honour.

other hand chose to take a nap. And I still haven’t found an appropriate word for describing the atmosphere. It’s over and over positive, whatever it’s called, it doesn’t feel like working when we’re spending time together.

The sun was shining, the weather was finally sweet and nothing could stop us from having a nice picnic in the committee room. It really looked like cool around because of the variety of foods we had, the drinks, the nice green carpet that if you improvised a bit, could be taken as grass, a nice view outside, the nice sun shining inside and the best company, of course. Everybody felt so comfortable, that sitting on the chairs seemed a bit inappropriate, so some of us were chilling on the nice green imaginary grass, some others, like Patric (FIN) on the

At one, two three o’clock, four o’clock we rocked, at five, six seven o’clock, eight o’clock we rocked again, and so we went on rocking until the midnight. But rocking may not always be easy to do, so, to say the truth, we did face some problems today. Our opinions differed about different subjects and discussion made us feel even more tired. But of course even in moments like that we stayed optimistic and couldn’t do it without a dose of humour and sarcasm. One of the variants why the tiredness had come upon us that suddenly was that

the food had been poisoned, but it might probably be more because that we didn’t have enough. However, it just strengthened us as a team and once again we made sure that our resolution will be the very best compromise and our solutions will be the ones worth voting for. I couldn’t possibly find a way how to help my committee with this, so that these kinds of discussions would still keep us calm and be taken as an exchange of opinions, not an actual problem. That is exactly why I asked for a little help of my cat. At first he said that he knows the solution for my question, but added that he needs time to think. We agreed to meet in a few hours and share our ideas together. So we did, and here are the conclusions we made:



Then suddenly the clouds parted, the light shined into the room of ours and magic touched us. We went crazy, started jumping around, screaming and shouting (I’m not sure if the neighbours committee actually noticed that). I got a bit nervous, and what I do in situations like these – I start running, but they probably got scared that I would run away, so they started chasing me down the stairs. Nothing stood in our way, and if anything or anyone were around, they got brutally knocked down (even

when doing that they worked as a team). Then suddenly, when I was already about to jump into a cab, they all stopped and started chasing each other. I still haven’t got the point of it – either it was because they understood that I’m too fast for them or because of that being a bad energizing joke played on me, but oh well. I didn’t want to spend the money on the cab, so I decided to join them playing (over then I believed it was a game). Confused, but still full of energy and willing to spend time with

them I joined them. After a while of running around, and destroying all the bad emotions inside we were ready to return back and continue our rock’n’rolling with cookies and some coffee. Today was not just sitting in a room for nearly 10 hours and discussing tiring politics. Today was all about spending time with my friends and having a nice chat with them. How can you possibly ever get tired of that?

Security and Defence - When the going gets tough… By Bobby Schinen


’ve always thought that Committee Work is much like taking the U-Bahn in Berlin, you know where you want to end up but the journey there is horribly unclear. Everything you come across appears to be in a foreign language (for most of us, it is!) and there seem so many routes to take, the choice is made even harder. You may want to go to Michendorf but end up in Greifswalder Straße instead (take a look on the map, it’s frickin’ far). The gems from Security and Defence may well have shared my view on this when beginning the second day of Committee Work, mind you, when you’ve got 39,759 contentious topics to discuss in just five hours, even taking the U-Bahn seems like a walk in the park. It’s safe to say that this day was tough on the delegates, I really felt for them. At times they looked as though they were in the depths of frustration, (particularly at the point when Chair Lukas (CZE) asked “What are we actually debating at the moment?”) and at others, it was as though they were in another country entirely. Now this article may seem rather bleak and therefore inappropriate for this publication, but I really wanted to write an article that reflected the difficulties these guys faced. Because it was how they got themselves out of this mess that impressed me the most. Security and Defence came so far in a just a day, even farther than the distance between Michendorf and Greifswalder Straße. They developed a creative way to communicate using sign language, they respected each other’s opinions and ideas no matter how far they were from their own. They injected some much needed humour into their

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discussions when the atmosphere was particularly heavy. They supported each other and listened to each other as each precious hour went by. I’m not sure if they realised it, but they really were working as a truly effective team. Granted, it took at while to arrive at being that team, they may have taken a few wrong trains on the way and they may have got off at the wrong stop a few times but they made it, in the end. Seriousness aside, they may have eventually found a way to work well, but they did some serious maxxi-faffing* in the process, which in my opinion is no bad thing. So, in aid of their stupendous levels of maxxi-faffing I’ve included a little jingle written by an old Chair of mine (carpenters make them really clever these days). It’s for when the going is getting tough and the maxxi-faffing is über maxxi. To be sung to the tune of, ‘A little less conversation’, Elvis Presley. “A little less conversation, A little more action please, All this maxxi-faffing Aint satisfactioning me. “ *Maxxi-faff: The art of constructively doing nothing whilst appearing to be doing… nothing.

the germanifesto - Thursday18 November

c o m m i t t e e work

Legal Affairs

Committee Conspiracies By Bobby Schinen The final stages of Committee Work are always expected to be the hardest and the most infuritatingly tight for time, so why is it then that The Committee on Legal Affairs were finished writing their resolution suspiciously early? It began to make me wonder, perhaps they’re not all they seem to be. I know they’re all dazzlingly intelligent and funny but I began to question…is there something they aren’t telling me, are they even more talented than even their devoted Journo thought they were? Suspecting my committee were hiding something huge from me, possibly masterminding a huge conspiracy, I sat back and began to speculate, and here’s what I came up with: Exclusive: Legal Affairs Possess superpowers!! The Committee on Legal Affairs has been scandalously exposed as having incredible super powers. The Germanifesto was tipped off in the early hours of yesterday morning. The delegates are in the police station answering questions as I type. Mwah ha ha ha ha!!!! Some details about the superpowers of each member were leaked in the process

Marta- She secretly has the power to call the lift in the youth hostel whenever she likesshe can communicate with the lift on several levels (see what I did there?!). Sarah has the über super power of possessing the ability to make people fall truly, madly deeply in love with her instantly. All she has to do to implement this power is say ARRRR very loudly in a silly accent to her subject. That must mean every member of Legal Affairs is in love with Sarah. Lucky for some.

likes, night or day, opening up the potential for lots of crazy capers and tricks on the unsuspecting public.

Albina can make anyone agree with her and take her side on nay argument she wants. Malin can write amusing, clever, interesting and grammtically correct articles at approximately 34 every minute. Malin, watch out your back my friend, the journo’s may do something out of sleep deprived jealousy.

Ott Harri can survive without sleep for up to ten days. Just long enough to survive a session. Thomas has a super expandable secret limb that is invisible. So, he can tickle you from far away using his extra extendable limb and you’d never know that was him. Genius. Hakan can communicate telepathically with sheep, they can talk about anything from politics to the price of petrol. Hakan has several scheep friends, incidentally, they’re going out this Friday. Chris can take the shape of any famous person he so wishes, always useful at exclusive, celebrity events. Chris’ particular favourtie shape is incidentally…David Hasselhof!!! But he’d better not transform too near the pressroom or there’ll be crazy, sleep-deprived journos running after him.

Franziska has the most mysterious power of all…so mysterious we have no idea what it is. All we know is it involves smoked Latvian cheese, a scheep and a super extendable tongue. The mind boggles. Thomas has the ability to sing really well, but there’s just one thing, he sounds like Britney Spears. Word on the street is he’s buying his first ‘Britney Spears’ outfit this week. Linda can become a brunette if she wiggles her nose and turns around 4 times. Linda, can you tell us who as more fun, blondes or brunettes?

Dedicated to the Committee on all things ARRR! Ester has the enviable power of being able to turn any meal into another one that she’d like more. So she can change her schnitzel into Sweet and Sour Pork if she fancies, or her banana into banoffee pie– the lists are endless. Martin can instantly understand foreign underground maps knowing in an instant which platform he should be on. Große useful! Laura has the ability to take the shape of a scheep…watch out for Hakan then, there could be some interesting conversations there!

L is for Living Latvian Linda who is never without a smile, E is for Ester, the boys she does beguile. G is for the guys, all super in their own special way, A is for ‘ARRR!’, we used it more day by day. L is for Laura, the baby of the group, A is for Albina, our petite Croatian who hates frankfurter soup! F is for Franziska, our lovely serene Swiss, F is also for friends, of whom we all shall miss. A is for ambition, of which this team has a lot I is for fiery chair Irene – she’s hot, hot, hot! R is for ‘remember’, for Sarah and Kiliane, whom I could never forget. S is for ‘stop’, I’ll have to before we all get upset.

Kiliane can become invisble at any time she


the germanifesto - Thursday 18November

c o m m i t t e e work

Agriculture - Future

The great adventures of Mr./Mrs. Agri Culture! Volume 2: It’s all in the genes said a little a whit sheep one day Die Beerlinische Bradwurst (die BB)!

Discussing, food, stuff, faffing, Schnizel, David Hasselhoff, phrasing, grouping, ecosystem, hunger, contamination… No more frog song, no more clichés in the Committee on Agriculture allowed! We are sheep and Jill is our shepherd! Me-e, be-e, said a little white sheep one day! It’s all in the genes! If you happy and you know it make a sheep! That’s it! We are not going to be boring unresponsive Committee on Ordinary lowbrows. We will change the world with genetically (un)modified food, we will shout over the rooftops of the world – no need for greed or hunger, we will be fond of Norwegian tobacco, brand new updates for if-you-know it-and- you- happy, because the era of sheep is ready to expose itself to the day light, the era, that going to change the mentality and of the forthcoming offspring of EYP juveniles and not only. But let’s start from the very beginning! We got the obvious addiction to the most probably genetically (un)modified chewing tobacco products being provided by Christian (NOR), who equipped us fully with the material and prepared to spread the usage guide to the zippily keen committee fellows, especially girls as a matter of fact. But the effect before and after wasn’t early predictable. The three easily – influenced heroes willing to try new “EYP trends” appeared to be Martin (CZR), Nikkolas (GER), and Erik (EST) who occupied the bathroom for a while for an undisputable mysterious reason (D. Hasselhoff will figure it out anyway!)…Of course the easiest way to explain such a helter-skelter behaviour is the omnipotent charming committee (go, go) girls’ powers, but somehow discovering them more and more I’ve realised that even the hot-sunny-shinny-sheepy-sexy lad(ie)s couldn’t overwhelm the obvious affection between the gentlemenish fervour for each other. The first symptom was noticed in the early morning while playing the “Pass the mandarin” thingy, which was obviously helping to keep the atmosphere hot particularly for some of you! The final point grounding the prejudice was revealed by the first complete round of “Honey tell me that you love me!” Absolutely straight – forward was Connor (GBR), who found out the new way how to resist a guy in no time!” Honey I love you but I have no mouth” was the last drop that made the whole committee laugh. The attorneys of the female sex Alessandra (ITA), Emer (IRL), Carrina (AUT) used their eternal weapon of eye contact and soft voices to reach their goals.

The challenge of the day by Jill the Sheepy Shepherd (Chair, LTV): To invent the new lyrics in groups for the all times best “If you happy and you know it clap your hands!” You cannot imagine, what kind of things you can do when being happy, or tired, or ugly or whatever! The imagination of the fellow delegates is go-as-you please! Few examples just in case: If you ugly and you know it hide your face! (top tips by the be-males of the committee) If you happy and you know it use your hands (Just don’t let them get tired) If you sober and you know it get a beer (mit Beerlinische Bradwurst) If you tired and you know it go to sleep (usually not working in the EYP)….. If you happy and you know it make a sheep (Try if you can!) Plus several versions you might get to know after paying the personal visit.

That was it; see you in the committee dinner! AAAAA-grii-cultureee!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for splendid day!

The Future BY The Baron


Well I was only in the committee room for 5 minutes on Wednesday. The life of a journo is not easy; you can’t have a complete beauty sleep, a bubble bath and breakfast in burger king, and still be expected to arrive before 4 o’clock. The point is, you cannot possibly write about a day you did not witness, unless of course, you are me. So let me tell you how Jenny was jumping on top of Salik, then Vlad spent half an hour under the table with Maria Lucia (ITA), of course

Fergus (IRE) and Chris (AUT) settled the whole Katherine (BEL) dispute by seeing who had more inches under the belt. Anastasia did her usual thing….you know, that thing she does and our lovely chair posed for several photos with a schnitzel (or maybe it was an apple) in her mouth . Everyone was doing some stuff for x amount of time, and at some point the resolutions were completed. Bravo. I love you guys.

the germanifesto - Thursday18 November

c o m m i t t e e work

Future - Secuirty and Defence - Civil Liberties

ECKI ECKI ECKI SUM SUM FOI...? by Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän

I came a little bit late for change. So I found my seat quickly and took a look around me. The sun was shining as if we weren’t in Berlin at the end of November, the view from the window was beautiful and the rose on the table smelt wonderfully. I was just enjoying this illuminated room filled with strain and cool guys from the Committee on Employment and Social Affairs I. I was just wondering why it was that all the people simply seemed so relaxed to me and then I noticed an empty package from 400g Cadbury Dairy Milk and things became a little bit clearer. Although I really like Committee on Employment and Social Affairs I, there is still one thing I don’t really understand and scares me a little bit. As I was examining the sun-lit room, suddenly I spotted IT. IT was written on the board. I didn’t understand IT, but IT sounded suspicious to me. I am not even sure whether I am allowed to write IT into the newspaper. But as I had been really in favour with this committee before, I decided I wouldn’t condemn them yet. With the permit ion of Heili (EST, chair) I decided to challenge their qualities with a very special game called Palermo City (also known as Mafia) and I found out that most of the committee

is really trustworthy, for example the doctor Ivan (CZE) didn’t ever use the opportunity to save his own life, but always used the right of saving life on somebody else’s one. The majority of these people are OK, but as usual an exception proves the rule. The conclusion? Never trust Sander (EST). Watch out – especially at nights - he can kill in cold blood, accuse someone else and execute him/her – pretending he himself is just an innocent citizen taking care of safety in the streets of Palermo City. His reasons for executing, on the other hand, use to be irrefutable. Ann Sophie (FRA) was for example too silent, Eoife (IRE) was wearing black and Mateusz was simply from Poland. Gentleman, isn’t he? I have experienced something special in the evening wit this committee – the dinner) the restaurant was Italian, the food delicious and Ashild (NOR) funny. I am not pretty sure what was she talking about, I have just noticed she was saying something about bigger bra, bigger boobies…that would be OK – this is an usual wish of the most of the girls, but why was she talking also about bigger bear…? That is yet to be found out.

Beauties! Watch by Pocahontas Boys (and girls), fasten your seatbelts and be prepared to experience something extremely exciting, I’m about to introduce to you the hottest committee at this session. Ready? First let’s define hot…no need baby just look at them! It’s MORE than enough.With a majority of beautiful and smart women (which is a very rare combination) this committee is in the top hot list of EYP. Let’s start with the cutest chair- the beloved Pamela, leading this lovely and predominantly girlie committee. Then we come to the turn of the fashion icons in the committee - Antoinetta (ITA), Maria (CYP) and Corina (NDL) always in prime positions. Sweet faces like Sophia(DEU), Scilia (NOR) and Camilla(DNK) can make your day just by giving you a smile.

Belgian cutie Dorothea is open for a long and pleasant conversation and Linda (FIN) is always ready to respond. Estonian chick Klairi is so sunny and gorgeous that makes you forget all the cloudy things happened to you during the day. Talented Claudia can always get you interested in the extraordinary pieces of art she creates. Nia (BGH) is so energetic; she’s always ready to write, to talk, to dance (as you will see from the next pages of the paper). Luscious Stephanie (FRA) is as active in the committee as she is out there in the disco.

CALIFORNIA! By Zeit-1874

After waking up, I was facing a series of groundshaking questions – “where am I?”, “why am I sleeping in the middle of the room with no clothes on?“, “do people living on the North Pole have to pay for electricity?” and “how to get to the place where we are having committee work in?” Waking up after an EYP night is nothing compared to travelling alone from the Youth Hostel to the Ludwig Erhard. There are a number of problems. To name a few of them – everything is in German; random locals are looking for the opportunity to attack/rob/abuse you; lack of vision in your left eye caused by last nights adventures. Anyway, a lot of effort on my behalf was put into finding an answer to the question, so naturally, when I got to the committee room, I had no problem listening to you solve a small problem like how to save the environment. Because this is EYP - a very influencial organization, it is no wonder that delegations from all over europe are present, forming groups of specialists. The Pubic Hair committee is no different. Let me introduce it’s wonderful essence: Oksana – a specialist on sizes of trees. Billy a.k.a the Human Dictionary – a specialist on moats. Dimitris – leader of the Green Task Force. Bara – the manager of the ecosystem. Maria – director of the nature-related movie “Confusion”. Marco – leading scientist on the topic of the greenhouse effect. Radka – tree/soil expert. Stephanie – chairman of the sick trees

and floods committee. Maddy – christmas tree specialist. Bjarne – forest repairman. Krista – bird photographer. Elias – president of the Industry Control Foundation. Marin – citizen of the Environmentalfriendly Croatia. Samuel – senior member of the Pathfinders Club. Felix – executive director of the WeHave-the-Recources Inc. The reason for these professionals gathering in Berlin – environment. Since it is proven that eating and drinking will create user-friendly surroundings for bonding, naturally the most important thing on agenda was committee dinner, which turned out to be quite productive. The main subject being a product that is on the start of it dictatorship – sheep-cheese. While Billy and Maddy, supported by Felix and Stephanie enlightened us in terms of the different ways of using sheep, the Mediterranean representatives accompanied by Sam and Marin decided that the topic at hand was not in need of their expertise, so instead of joining in on the discussion, they felt free to make horrific noises and through that take on the goal of emptying the restaurant. Silently they also had the support of the People in Between, because they were forming an alliance against the power of the Restaurant People. The dinner, however, ended without a major bloodshed in terms of setting the place on fire and going at each-other with wooden plates. Oh, well. Let’s hope the General Assembly will compensate.

All this abundance of beauties makes the boys of Social Affairs Two very happy indeed.


the germanifesto - Thursday 18 November

c o m m i t t e e work

Civil Liberties Will Rock You By Pochahontoas

The Committee on Civil Liberties started their ‘resolution writing adventure’ by building up a well-structured, consistent plan in order to create their resolution. Each of them had the patience to listen to and consider each other’s opinions. They made sure discussions were always relevant to their topic, not wasting time with vagueness. The committee has a very intelligent and delicate way of disagreeing with each other and everyone was feeling comfortable in sharing his\her opinion. Gery(SLO) can be very influential, putting his argument across eloquently and constructively. Xavier (FRA) and Hugo (NDL) take care to maintain the peace, carefully following the rules of patience and tolerance established by the committee. Karin (EST) always focuses on

the most essential facts and keeps the discussion fluent and consistent. Marina (ROM) and Silvia (IT) prefer to go with the discussion flow deciding to stay quiet, to stay out of the fiery dispute between Jasmina (MAC) (the-never-ending-giggle) and Gery (SLO)(watch out ladies!). Despite all their misunderstandings they still managed to keep a polite tone by addressing each other with “my friend”. That also applies to Peter (GBR) who tried to settle things down between his fellow delegates. Ana (DEU) also exchanged opinions with Jasmina and Nathan (IRL). Simon (CHE) was happy to have female attention from each side of him. After having done a great job, the committee played a game of “suck and blow” which everyone enjoyed especially Angela(ESP) and Irene(BLR), (as well as the journo J ) The committee dinner made one Journo very happy indeed. The restaurant couldn’t have been nicer, the food couldn’t have been tastier and as you can see, neither could SpongeBob. I’d like to congratulate Civil Liberties for working so well together. Despite their differences

International Trade

and contrasting ideas, their work was very productive. Despite the complexity of their task, their passion for resolving problems and their never ending enthusiasm for argument and agreement will be sure to make their resolution one of the best.

EYP German - Unit 4: Pick Up Lines 1. Hey there, you have beautiful eyes. Wanna go for a walk with me? - Hi, du hast wunderschöne Augen. Wollen wir spazieren gehen? 2. I wasn´t looking for love, but I´m glad I found you. - Ich habe nicht nach Liebe gesucht, bin aber glücklich, dass Ich dich gefunden habe. 3. Have you had plastic surgery? “No, why?” - Because you´re really beautiful. - Hast du dich einer Schönheitsoperation unterzogen? “Nein, warum?”. Weil du so schön bist. 4 I heard God has lost his most precious angle... But don´t worry, I won´t tell him where you are. - Ich habe gehört, dass Gott seinen wertvollsten Engel verloren hat…..Aber keine Angst, Ich werde ihm nicht erzählen, wo du bist. 5. Hey dear- you look tired. Wanna sleep on my lap? - Hey du- du siehst müde aus. Willst du In meinem Schoß schlafen. 6. You seem a little tense, I could give you a massage. - Du wirkst ein wenig verspannt. Soll Ich dich massieren? 7. I´m Tarzan, would you be Jane? - Ich bin Tarzan. Würdest du Jane sein? 8. When I look at you, I see my future. - Wenn Ich dich ansehe, kann Ich die Zukunft sehen. 9. I hope my children will have your genes. - Ich hoffe, dass meine Kinder deine Gene haben werden.


10. Did you know that the birthrate in Germany is decreasing... ? - Weißt du, dass die Geburtenrate In Deutschland abnimmt….?

the germanifesto -Thursday 18 November

c o m m i t t e e work

Foreign Affairs 1 - Employment I

Sleep is for The Weak! bY Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän

I was trailing my legs upon the stair, because the elevator was “besetzt” - for change. I was dreaming of my soft, warm, comfortable bed as I was crawling through the first floor, but the higher I crept, the less choosey I was and when I got to the sixth floor (of course that both of ‘my’ committees have their committee rooms in the sixth = last floor) I was thinking of cuddle up in the corner, underneath the table and have a bit of rest during the committee work, but then I reached the door of Committee on Foreign Affairs I, on which was a sign saying “Sleeping is for weak!”. I felt betrayed. I wanted to enter the room angrily, but the programme was changed. We were supposed to play games together with Committee on Em-

ployment and Social Affairs I and with Committee on Economy and Monetary Affairs. Heili (SocAff, EST, chair) prepared a game ‘Maradzha….” (At least it sounded a little bit like this) and then after boosting us with ‘Funky chicken’ she released us into our own committees. I noticed a slight improvement – I got back to my level of tiredness from the first floor – so I kept my dreams of my soft, comfortable and warm bed and opened The Door. The first thing I saw was Ola (POL) sitting in the circle with the sweater turned inside out. This could mean many things…we, in the Czech Republic have a superstition that a sweater inside-out means somebody is

in love with you…concerning the fact I saw her boyfriend Mateusz (POL) this morning, I could agree with this. The meaning could also be a little more prosaic – maybe somebody was simply too tired. Or – third and most probable theory = her boyfriend is in love with her and was simply too tired in the morning. Unfortunately I could spend only a little time with this cool group of great people, but even in spite of the lack of time I’ve noticed few surprising facts – I know that our taste differed one from each other, so I should not be surprised when Svetlana (RUS) said that she likes Russian President Putin – but she likes him because she finds him attractive! Everybody, clap your hands!

Quarter arter finals naaal by The Baron on

There are only 3 nights ghts left, the tension is building, we have reached that stage s where any tactical errors mean you have to stroke your benchh watching t hi on the th sidelines (like Tillmann). Two ddelegates are pushing each other hard aat the top, Aidan (GBR) and Florence (BEL). But their dominance is (B being challenged by Patrick (FIN) who challe is engagedd in some som hot action with a man from the UK who likes to be called he U Oscar inn the heat of the moment.

Staying one of their delaying with the UK, on egates, Chris, is engaged ge in some ‘head to head’ action and has enlisted Ester (ESP) to keep him coming.

We hope to see big things during the next few nights, if everyone pulls together we can go out with a big bang.

Norway’s performance an has been absolutely dismal, one sad delegate has been shooting blanks, blanks scoring a big ZERO with the Belgians, Bulgarians and he Belgi Croatians. Going oing into the knock-out stages, the Bulgarians ians an have the highest scoring scorin potential, but the Dutch and d the Czechs could comee hard from behind. behind


the germanifesto -Thursday 18 November

d e a r david

D ex god David Hasselhoff gives adv

Dear David, I’m sharing a room with two very noisy Portuguese guys, which means that I haven’t slept at all from the day we got here. Please help me, ‘cause I’m getting tired and am scared I’ll fall asleep at dinner. Annonymous non-Portugese delegate from room 306. Dear Delegate, Since Ian and Andrew are working all night long on the next issue of the paper, you are welcome to come and share a room with me. Or actually, even better, you could join our “Who sleeps the least during the session” competition, win, and get a 2 month contract in Baywatch.

Dear Mr Hasslehof I’m particularly bothered by the enourmous amount of food we’re getting, especially the lunch packages during Committee Work. Do I really need to eat all of it, or would it be fine if we just shared one bag of food for the whole committee? I’m just too full and I’m begeinning to worry how to keep fit with all these calories. Fitness conscious delegate.

Dear Mr Hasslehof I’m particularly bothered by the enourmous amount of food we’re getting, especially the lunch packages during Committee Work. Do I really need to eat all of it, or would it be fine if we just shared one bag of food for the whole committee? I’m just too full and I’m begeinning to worry how to keep fit with all these calories. Fitness conscious delegate. Dear Delegate, I do sympathasise with your problem, I must admit it is a rather serious one. During filming in Baywatch I had a similar issue. However I do believe that it’s possible to find a solution, for example the obvious answer is to work out to my ‘Hasselhoff Endurnace Fitness Test’ video, avialiable at any reputable video retailer. Or, you can take the leftowers of your lunch packages to the hungry journos.

Dear Delegate, I do sympathasise with your problem, I must admit it is a rather serious one. During filming in Baywatch I had a similar issue. However I do believe that it’s possible to find a solution, for example the obvious answer is to work out to my ‘Hasselhoff Endurnace Fitness Test’ video, avialiable at any reputable video retailer. Or, you can take the leftowers of your lunch packages to the hungry journos.

My dearest David, David, I’m your number one fan, I think you’re utterly amazing. I have every episode of Baywatch and Knight Rider on video and I watch them repeatedly. I can’t sleep at night for thinking about you. I want to be like you. I want to know just how you manage to hold your life buoy so sexily. David what’s your secret? Lusty fan Dear Fan, Well, I get a lot of letters like yours and it breaks my heart to hear you so restless about me. I have many many secrets on how I look so good, most of which I can’t divulge. However, often fans find using my ‘Hasselhof Endurance Fitness test’ video very useful, available from any reputable video retaileer, it works wonders. Also,a great lack of sleep is great for the skin. Hope this helps.

Random delegate: “We are not saying that we don’t trust you and we’re not saying that

12 2

Gloria (DEU, Organizer): “I am just a small organizer taking care of toilet paper.”

Germanifesto - Issue 3  

page 4 - Energy page 5 - Foreign Affairs II & International Trade Thursday 18 November, 2004 47th International Session of the EYPIssue3...