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the ger manifesto 47th International Session of the EYP

Issue 2

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Inside:

Wednesday 17 November, 2004

Scheeep and Schtiof

Contents page 1 - Opening Ceremony page 2 - Editorial page 3 - Interview & top 5 page 4 - Legal Affairs &Agriculture page 5 -Constitutional Affairs page 6 - EMA & Energy page 7 - Industry & Employment page 8 - Environment & Employment II page 9 -Future, Civil Liberties & Security page 10 -International Trade page 11 - FA 1 and Employment I page 12 -Dear David page 13 -Quotes and Mayor’s Reception page 14 -Sports Section

Opening Ceremony: The O.C. By StripPoker and Mertahens, Hauptadelsarchiv Bamberg “EYP is a great organisation that makes the younger generation conscious of the idea of Europe.” Klaus Wowereit

No, it was not in Californiaaaaa (read

with the appropriate intonation*) that the Opening Ceremony took place but rather in the Rote Rathaus, in Berlin. The ceremony officially marked the beginning of the 47th International Session of the EYP. We were honoured by the presence of various prestigious people such as Klaus Wowereit, Mayor of Berlin. The event was not only an appraisal of the current situation in Europe but, to a much larger extent, critical questions along the lines of; “How will the EU function with 25, or more, member states? In terms of foreign affairs, what role of power should the EU take?” were raised. Turkey’s possible entry to the EU was also brought up.

Catherine, without whose relentless effort the session would not have been possible, made a remarkable speech. – Cathy, we are still waiting on your comments about your obsession with Germans in Lederhosen. This first part, the more formal of the two, was concluded by our very own president of the Session, Stiof. We loved her speech, but we were somewhat disappointed that she did not publicly and mention her secret passion for David Hasselhoff swimsuit memorabilia. A second, less formal segment followed this but only after a much welcomed coffee break. It was now the turn of the ambassadors of each delegation to present their respective countries. They proceeded in alphabetical order with Austria, Belarus and Belgium leading off. The Belgians, always willing to promote their country, talked about their wide variety of beers. Bulgaria then gave a short lecture on the three main “W”s; wine, women and weather. Their country, supposedly, has the best of all three… all we want now

are some samples. We were delighted to hear the Latvian ambassador mention the journos. She gave us some great advice regarding our sleeping habits: we should do MORE of it! We immediately took this advice and put it to use, ZZZZZzzzzzz. Although the Polish ambassador used some great rhetorical devices that reminded us of an historical event (“I have a dream…”), we couldn’t really relate to that, because we don’t have dreams… we never sleep. Before thanking all of you for a great ceremony, we would like to accept the UK’s apology for only bringing an all male delegation to this Session, on one condition: Next time it shall be an all female one, okay? Well done delis, politicians and of course Stiof and Catherine. *If uncertain as to what this is, please ask a member of the journo team for immediate clarification.


the germanifesto - Wednesday 17 November

e d i t orial

Letters to the Editors

EDITORIAL Dear delegates, As editors you often find yourself with very little company other than your co-editor, so you can imagine the sheer glee when you get some contact from the outside world – particularly from the delegates. So yesterday when we received a letter, written on the finest toilet paper, we were overwhelmed. Hark, delegates, for this is no happy tale. We would now like to address some of the points so eloquently raised on that fateful piece of recycled toilet paper mysteriously pinned to the door of the Media Room. Here at the germanifesto we stand by the comments we made about the “Danish Bird Intestine Liquor” that our journos sampled during Eurovillage last week. Much like hit rap sensation Eminem, or indeed Christ himself, we were simply “telling it like it is.” This paper would also like to note that “Blackmailers anonymous”, if that is your real name, have indicated no motives for their demands. They seek only to tear apart the very fabric the eyp pressroom, the traditions which editors and jorunos before us gave up their lives to defend. We will not negotiate with terrorists. On a note of caution, those who seek to declare war on journos do so at their peril. We have the technology, and we certainly have the power. Muahahahhahah. In other news, the germanisfesto would like to thank the Committee on Constitutional Affairs for their kind words of encouragement and pretty pictures. Clearly, you are a breed of delegate with unparalleled good judgement. We therefore ask for your help in waging on War on Terror, if you will; a war of unprecedented moral standing; a just war to protect our journalistic integrity. We will not be walked over by those who challenge our way of life. You can take our laptops…but you can never take our FREEDOM!!!!!

Andrew and Ian

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the germanifesto - Wednesday 17 November

i n t e r view

A Moment With the President By Einstein

After several inquiries, I managed to set a date with the President at the Ludwig-

Erhart-Haus lounge downstairs. We take a seat. My first impression about her is very sympatric. Earlier the same day I heard her talking to someone about her name and its spelling. Therefore I decide to discover what is in the name. She was Christened Stephanie Howard but when she was around 13 she translated her name into Irish. “I felt very strongly about the Irish language and giving people the message that it is still being spoken and there are people who speak it.” Being interested in her previous EYP memories as a delegate, I learned that she has been to eight international sessions, but surprisingly she has never journoed. Instead, she has been the vice president a few times, and the head organiser in Dublin. The first international session she participated was held in Granada.With quite some details she describes the place, a congress centre, and the way they were taken care of there. “We could not believe that we were important.” Her first committee topic was about the death penalty for offenders against children. She remembers that her commitSelf Portrait tee dropped the question, because they considered it bizarre. They discussed with others matters such male castration. As a result, the GA was not very satisfied with it, and the resolution failed. Her current official relationship with EYP is ending this year. However, I am informed that she was very active during her college years. During the recent years, for example, she has been a member in the Irish national committee. What EYP has provided her with is human contacts, awkward situations and the know-how of handling them, and most importantly, means and methods of negotiation.

One of the latest embarrassing moments in Stiof’s life took place right before coming to the session. She was at work and was going to phone her parents via landline. Simultaneously, her cell phone rang. She left a message for her parents. Afterwards she looked at her number and saw that there was a message pending from an anonymous number. She listened to the message and realized it was the same she supposedly had left for her parents. I cannot help leaving out the dilemma of David Hasselhoff from our discussion. The favourite body part according the Stiof is the hair, the quiff, and the tuft of hair. “He has a cheesy smile and he is so self-satisfied.” Finally, a tricky question: which three items would she take to a desert island? At first, she is slightly puzzled. “ A coconut. But perhaps there are coconuts already in the island. Why to waste one of your three items.” Eventually her choices are wine, her board, and good literature, Irish or German. With laughter she adds, “Though, I never imagined myself bringing these items.” All in all, my encounter with the president is very pleasant and relaxing. I hope you all can have a moment with the president.

Top 5 EYP Lists Top 5 colours of shoes at the session 1. Black 2. Blue 3. Red 4. Brown 5. Puce

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Top 5 things to get in your breakfast cereal 1. Disney toy 2. Bob 3. Sheep 4. Bradwurst 5. Puce Pashmina

Top 5 most used words at the session 1. The 2. A 3. And 4. Puce-pashmina 5. To

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Top 5 Pashminas 1. Puce pashmina 2. Your pashmina 3. Sheep pashmina 4. Andrew’s pashmina he stole from Pam 5. Mashmina Pashmina

2 Top 5 neck wear 1. Puce Pashmina 2. Tie 3. Dead mammal 4. You 5. Mysterious bruises

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the germanifesto - Wednesday 17 November

c o m m i t t e e work

“ARRR!” By Bobby Schinen

Does this headline ring any bells? Have

you seen a group of delegates, say, fourteen of them walking around saying the word “ARRR” at inappropriate times? Well if you have, count yourself lucky because you’ll have been looking at the most creative, fantastical, stupendously brilliant committee on the planet of EYP, the one, the only...Legal Affairs!! Fond of all things random and silly, they first coined this word during a fine game of The Sheep and The Shepherd. Officially, in the context of the game “ARRR” means to turn right, but being the creative gems that they are, “ARRR” (see what I did there?) now means anything Legal Affairs want it to. They have since found, much to their delight that “ARRR” fits into many situations, serious or otherwise. I apologise for this preamble but I felt a responsibility to you all to educate you in the ways of the “ARRR”. I also have to warn you that from now on, all articles featuring the legends of Legal Affairs will contain “ARRR” randomly and inappropriately

wherever it fits. Vier danke für deine zeit. Ok, preamble over, back to the subject in hand. To a snooping journo (and anyone with functioning eyes) it was clear to see that the delegates must have partied hard the night before. Closing eyes, copious amounts of yawning and dark circles (Touche Eclat guys, seriously it sooo

works) were all obvious indications of nocturnal capers from the night before. Having said all that, Legal Affairs soon woke up to do a spot of brainstorming followed by the mammoth task of ‘Grouping’. I have to say, this was the most en-

The Great Advetures of Mr. Agri By Die Beerlinische Bradwurst (Die BB)

Volume 1. First confession of Mr/ Mrs Agriculture

I have never been lucky to see the lights and vivacity of the big city because my parents were ordinary lowbrows possessing 3 cows, 2 pigs and 1 red bull. My life was in fact a one big failure, including the childhood with wooden toys hammered to the floor, until I was invited to experience the joys of the metropolitan Berlin as an attorney of Agricultural Society. I was assigned to the Committee on Agriculture as I had an enviable knowledge of practical agronomy. Due to not being accustomed to any sort of schedules I

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not only arrived to the appointed place tardily, but was greatly astonished with the magnitude of the building as well. Sustaining my life in my abandoned grange I didn’t even get the opportunity to get know what the elevator means. As I’ve crept invisibly to the room the smartly dressed boys and sparkling girls seemed just had finished with the brainstorming and came up with some good ideas. Highbrows - thought I and was trying to listen carefully to every single word they were saying but unfortunately my brain weren’t able to stay tuned for long while discussing the things I had no familiarity to...Genetically modified food.. “In my country where I come from there is no genetically modified food”

Legal Affairs

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Agriculture

thusiastic round of grouping I have ever seen during Committee Work, ARRR! Sat in an intimate circle like they were sat around a toasty fireplace rather than around a pile of ideas about their topic, Legal Affairs got down to business. Initially the groups went as follows: the ‘Social Issues’ group, the ‘Legal Arguments’

group and er…the ’all the others we have no idea where to put them’ group. ARRR! Grouping over, (they ended up with seven groups if you’re interested) Legal Affairs’ biggest problem was in fact nothing to do with the topic in question but was on the

said Mr. Agri Culture lethargically and fell asleep. “Let’s discuss the role of the chair” was the sentence that brought me back from the kingdom of dreams to the 2nd floor apartment. What does the chair have in common with the topic being discussed was a mystery even for me so I decided to keep an eye on what’s going around. I was glad to know finally the chair wasn’t a chair at all! She was the chair from the capital J - lovely Jill (LTV)! Playing time! Finally!” Big Boody Big Boody Big Boody, oh yes!!” was brought to the daylight. Oh yes, that was a minute of relaxation and loads of “Oh shit!” Being honest I was nicely disappointed with the perfect sense of rhythm that was demonstrated by avid and vigorous committee fellows that pretty quickly got involved in rap counting! Let me give you sophisticated advice from Mr./Mrs. Agri Culture “Sometimes it’s worth to mess things up in order to have as much fun as possible”. Thanks to Connor (GBR) we did have an opportunity to enjoy the gist

question of how to spell the word ‘ecumenical’. Posing several problems, each delegate tried in turn to spell the word with the correct spelling evading each of them. After thousands (!) of attempts, and despite being armed with a French dictionary (which in my opinion is very useful for help in spelling a word in English) they finally had a consensus: the word ecumenical is silly and stupid. ARRR! Following on from the spelling debacle, Linda (LVA) took a break to take a few photographs which reminded the schleepy journo in the corner that she should also be taking photos, ARRR! Question: How many delegates does it take to press a pin into a pin board? Answer: Two, apparently. Creative and fantastical Legal Affairs may well be, but physically strong they are not. Come on guys, I know Committee Work is draining but pushing a pin into a pin-board really shouldn’t require two delegates (Franziska (CHE) and Marta (ESP)). So I suggest to you, dearest Legal Affairs, to call upon the power of the ARRR the next time you need energy and vitality during Committee Work or when you just need to push a pin into a pin board.

of the game! Strategy.. As a perfect and highly skilled cultivator I have a great sense of the need of strategy. The Committee spent long time discussing what would be most appropriate and beneficial. That was first true disclosure of their real charming personalities I was highly impressed and implicitly touched by their robust enthusiasm and immense courage to cope with obviously faced problems. “You can see it in the eyes that someone wanna talk” implied future psychologist Oksana (UKR). “ We should discuss some sexthings” tried to implement new concepts to the topic Martin (CZE). Finally the team power asserted and Jill made the final point, so that we were greatly satisfied and inspired with the emerging teamspirit! Thank you guys for helping me to acquire some highbrowish experience! Yours faithfully! Mr./Mrs. Agri Culture


the germanifesto - Wednesdayy 17 November

c o m m i t t e e work

Constitutional Affairs

Constitutional Affairs By StripPoker We are on the lookout for fourteen polar bears. Have you seen them? Since Sunday evening, the entire Cool Artic committee has gone missing and has the EYPolice in a frenzy. They were last seen at a club, in Berlin, shaking their asses and spinning their paws to the sound of Ger-

man techno. Since then… nothing. The authorities are working around the clock to determine their whereabouts, but so far, to no avail. There are differing views as to what might have happened to them. Some suggest they might have gone for an artic swim, back in Werbellin, while others are of the opinion that they were abducted by some crazy professor. In order to get to the bottom of this and uncover one of this session’s biggest mysteries, the germanifesto sent out its best element, yours truly, to investigate and track them down.

I began my search at their hotel, the Lehrter Strasse Youth Hostel. The first surprising thing was that they seemed to have been, for some strange reason, put in different rooms. I went from the basement, up, in search of clues, but all I could find were heaps of clothes everywhere. It soon became apparent that the polar bears had shed their coats. This was going to make the whole process a lot more difficult.

I was on my way back to the pressroom, to poor over some files and background information checks, when I spotted something; there were a bunch of suspicious looking characters huddled together on the street. They were overly-well dressed for the location and time of day, and, interestingly,

sort of agenda and would soon be carrying out their plan. Uncle Vinny (MKD), puffing on a cigar in a dark corner, was rambling on about how he had got drunk the night before with a couple of Gumas, while Mad Mads (DNK) was reporting on something he had taken care of in the traditional fashion (i.e with a chain saw and a pair of tweezers). Red Rí (IRL) and Tony the Tulip (NOR), in their low, hoarse whispers, were proposing a deal which couldn’t be refused, when sirens suddenly broke out. All fourteen fled the scene as quickly as possible, but Fat Frank (GBR), who for obvious reasons, was slower than the rest, was apprehended and taken in for questioning. It is my increasing belief that this mob group is somehow connected to the fourteen missing CA members. More on this in the next issue. Until then, any information in connection with the case, or evidence leading to the resolution of this mystery shall be handsomely rewarded – send all comments to: the germanifesto Att.: PI division Suggestion Box Berlin, Germany

numbered fourteen in total. I decided, trusting my infallible flair, to infiltrate the group and get a closer look. I followed them into a joint by the name of “Pappi Julo’s”, where some kind of meeting was held. Sitting around in a circle, they began discussing the `family´ business. They were handing out little cards and classifying them in groups, but I could not make out what was on them. It seemed to me they were following some

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the germanifesto - Wednesday 17 November

c o m m i t t e e work

EMA - Energy

Schnitzel Makes Life Better (Don’t talk to me, I’m thinking) By Schweizer Katze

Today, when entering the committee room, the first thing I noticed (except from the happy faces and the shoes of course) was the EMA CONSTITUTION: It claims that you shouldn’t get obsessed with the topic, that you are strongly forbidden to vote against your own resolution and the most interesting point - you can talk the talk- “but can you watch the watch?” Well you have to, because that is exactly what our constitution demands.

The second thing I noticed was the mobile wall between Social Affairs committee and us. It’s quite tricky, I have to say, and almost like magic, but not quite... Imagine a big room with two committees, each on one side of the room. So at one moment you see them discussing their topic and hear every single word they’re saying and when you look the same direction a few minutes later, the room is suddenly two times smaller than it was before, and the other committee is not seen any more, you can just hear them talking like they’re next to you. But it didn’t bother us too much, because we spent a lot of time trying to annoy them with talking as loud as we possibly could. As a matter of fact we couldn’t do it any other way, because accidentally we happened to be in the room of Rock’n’roll and it would be a shame if we didn’t fill the room with positive energy. During the coffee break, however, we spent time not only rock’n’rolling around - Kristine (DNK) and Milda (LTU) also practiced a little magic by trying

“Does nonsense make any sense to you?” By Einstein Have you met the artists behind the beautifully decorated door to the Energy Laboratory? The committee on Energy started brainstorming on Monday, and the output was magnificent. Post-its just kept appearing on the board. They included some ominous words such as

to predict the future from a coffee cup. But due to a lack of professionalism they both ended up discussing either that is the moon or the sea they see in the bottom of the cup, but yes, we’ll have time to work on it. As the Committee on Economics, we realise that our topic is closely linked to money. But so that you wouldn’t get a wrong impression about us as being too realistic, I wanted to prove that it is just a stereotype which I have to say turned out to be terribly wrong, as became evident as I got to know my fellow committee members. So to prove that stereotypes don’t equal the truth, and being aware of the fact that they have to be broken with proof, I decided to test my committee’s creativity level by asking them one of the questions that people have been trying to answer through the centuries - WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? The answers, I have to say, varied a lot. Starting with the idea of Suicidal Chicken, and continuing with an answer that that happened because the orga drove down the road with a BMW. And what didn’t surprise me at all, but what might seem interesting for the others is that my committee enjoyed these philosophical questions a lot, so knowing that a famous philosopher answered the question about the chicken with a laconic ‘42’, we tried practicing our creativity even more by inventing questions for the given answer. What we realised after this exercise is that we’re fine with the sense of humour as well - the questions were overloaded with original and funny ideas, for example - What was the amount of beers Patrick

Chernobyl, mass destruction, nonsense and Ice Age. I could not help thinking about the cartoon and my thoughts start drifting away from the committee room. Fortunately, that is not the case with committee members. They are kneedeep in defining the words, almost debating. At some point, they were about to overrule the whole question they were discussing. Antoine and myself are both impressed. The prerequisites for the resolution are excellent. stay tuned for a bigger report in the third issue!

(FIN) had yesterday at the EYP cafe, or how many Finns can you fit in one sauna? The options differ, so do the questions and the answers. That only shows our attitude to things, attitude to life and even more so shows that we do have an attitude! So with honour I can say that my committee passed the creativity examination with an amazing result. Today, when we were asked about the hopes and the fears, we realized that we have no fears about the committee. We have many hopes concerning the committee, concerning ourselves and concerning the weather outside. We’re still sticking to the confidence that we’re the best in all possible ways - our communication skills are just amazing, we actually managed to broaden the Greek language to the point when all the languages are bonded closely together and that we actually have no drawbacks. And that is something that neither 10 nor 20 hours of hard committee work can change for the worse. I’m sure it will just make us feel even more confident about ourselves. The conclusions I’ve made from the time I spent with them is that these people can warm up anybody’s heart amazingly fast. As soon as you enter the room after a few hours sleep and 10 hours frustration about not sleeping, you just have to hear their laugh and see their kind faces when all the bad emotions suddenly disappear and the only thing you feel is satisfaction. Satisfaction that you’ve got the best of the best.

10 Give Away Signs YOU Need More Sleep 1. When sitting, you get that horrible heavy feeling where your head keeps dropping, you dose off and then wake up with a start, hoping no one saw. 2. Your eyelids trail along the floor when you walk…and you don’t even notice. 3. When children, (or indeed adults for that matter) see you in the street they turn and run, screaming at the sight of your dark circles. 4. there.

You find yourself in committee work, not having a clue how you got

5. You find you cannot write coherent sentences that make any grammatical sense. Oh wait maybe that’s just the Journo. 6. You laugh at everything, funny or not. Sometimes you stop laughing, but it’s usually only to start crying. 7. The only thing your mind can focus on is just how tired you are, that or something completely random like marshmallows.

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8. You begin an article fully intending to write a list of ten things but can only manage eight because… your head has hit the laptop… niuouvfzueu&%jsjk h$%§%§”udsgfgds…zzz.


the germanifesto - Wednesday 17 November

Industry - Foreign Affairs 2

Herbal Essence - The Committee on Drugs By Herr Prince Charming

The old saying goes- “rules are made to be broken,” but not on this committee. The wild, hormone driven committee that I had the pleasure of experiencing during teambuilding seems to have disappeared. A magic bus has apparently removed my dancing delegates and replaced them with well dressed, polite, rule respecting young individuals. Although the suits are on and the talk is serious, there still seems to be an aspect of wildness in this group as they discuss the topic in hand. Luka(CRO) describes his overwhelming concern for the quality of drugs, joking he wants the best stuff at a price that can’t be beat. The committee have made rules that have laid down the baseis for a solid weeks work. Looking at the rules one might think that Julie is a bossy chair but we all know that’s not true. When the discussions began a natural harmony guided the work. The teambuilding, bonding and rules all combined perfectly at the right time. It is possible that a late night could have been the cause of this miraculous mutation. I have no doubt that this nocturnal activity will benefit the hard workers of the gossip section. Declan(UK) was particularly suspicious as he sat in committee work attempting to engage the topic while keeping his eyes wide shut, then it dawned on me that I had spotted a young Northern Irish man with long hair and a flare for music hanging about outside the hostel the night before in a desperate attempt to woo the passing EYPretties- whether or not he was successful must be judged from the grin on his face passing from ear to ear; possibly it had something to do with the fine girls on this committee... Maaike (NLD) and Declan seem to getting closer than just work colleagues but then again Lelde (LTV) was seen giving the eyes across the room but its hard to say if they are for “The D-Man” (as he calls himself) or for his male fellagate Bruno (POR). When it came to the serious stuff Tori (NOR) proved that she could do more than just talk on the telephone as she added her opinions and thoughts to the tasty stew that is committee work. But not everything was so serious as can be seen by Maria(ROM), Monica’s(ESP) and Andrius’ (LTU) passionate playing of zip, zap, zop.

c o m m i t t e e work

Belarus Buddies By Mausal

I’m sorry for not starting the article

with the most up-to-date information, but I just can’t get over this committee’s presentation. It was cool, it was talented, it was sensational! Ladies and gentlemen, once again I’m proud to present: Foreign affairs II I don’t know what it is, but every time I enter my committee room I start feeling warm inside and even if I think, that I’m only going there for 30 minutes, I end up spending hours with them. I do not want to rush with my feelings, but I think I love them… I love how spontaneous they are, I love how different they are as individuals, I love the atmosphere they’ve created around them, but above all- I love their creative way of doing things. By today - that is the 15th of November - they know each other fairly enough to take another step forward on their journey. They’ve started the committee work: practicing the knowledge of working together in a more serious and real level. Although it is sometimes said, that in comparison to teambuilding committee work is boring, I can tell you that this committee knows how to have fun even when the real work has started. When I entered the room today, the delegates were playing a brainstorming game. Having to come up with random words about random topics with only one rule: not to repeat what’s already been said. As a result they managed to express 40 words in a minute! I’d say: they learned how to expand their mind which for sure will lead them to a more courageous and deeper resolution. But then it got even more better: they made a rap on their topic, with Halldor (NOR) leading the rhythm, Dimitri (GRC) being responsible for all the conjunctives, plus having ”how” as his main word ;) and everybody else taking their turns in completing the rap with the keywords of the

topic. The rap had a beat better than Talib Kweli´s ! as a matter of fact it was so good, that I just couldn’t keep myself still. However after doing serious things the fun way always comes the time, when you have to do them in a more serious way. So when Vladimir(BLR) had finished with dawning the map of Belarus and the neighbour countries on the floor (Yes, they really did draw map of the region), it was the time for the brainstorming. All in all I believe the result of this massive brainstorming was a drawn map covered by colourful post-its, altogether at least 100 ideas about the topic! So this is a committee, that is not afraid of challenges. It is also a committee, that sometimes goes crazy, when playing some games (find out more around the gossip page: ”what happens, when you let a delegate lead a game”), but it is also a committee who looks after it’s members, making sure that everyone is included and being heard, also communicating a little bit in French- of which I’m particularly proud. Dear committee I want to tell you, that you really touch my heart today, as being just who you are and I’m so proud to be able to follow you on your journey. As a final thought today, I would like to express a feeling on behalf of the entire committee: Sophie, we missed you today and know that we are all there for you, whenever you need us.

Golden Rules 1. No interruption 2. The “Finger Rule” 3. Respect Each Others Opinions 4. Treat people the way you want to be treated 5. Be open minded & PUNCTUAL

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the germanifesto - Wednesday 17 November

c o m m i t t e e work

Environment - Employment II

What Happened to Boffrang the Award-Boy?! By Kair

From the Dictionary of Mennish Individuals with Magic, occasionally even Legendary Sticks: Men Keller – president of the Chocolate Bunnies Foundation. I have to apologise – it turned out, that the theory I had on Sam wasn’t so waterproof after all. Even though all the leads eventually ended with Sam, there is one thing I completely overlooked – Sam’s personality. According to Men, “Samuel is a gentle boy whose head is filled with flowers, sunshine and wild badgers.” So, what Sam claimed (“It’s a lie”), is apparently the truth. And because I’m running short on theories (ones that I can prove), Sam is free to walk the streets. So, in the morning when I was walking in the corridor towards the committee room, I wasn’t surprised when I heard Sam’s intriguing voice reaching me through the cracks it had made in the wall long before I woke up that day. The only sentence that I was able to decode from the vibes reaching me was: “Are you going with the horizontal or the vertical plan?”

Respect for the boys! By Pocahontas

You know who the happiest boys are? The ones in the Committee on Employment and Social Affairs of course. Why? Well the reason is probably because their chair is the astonishing vice-president Pamela or maybe because they have been awarded with a great amount of attention by the thirteen ladies who comprise the other part of the committee? The girls are simply angels, wouldn’t you agree? - Jonathan(GBR), Jan (SLO), Diogo (POR) The committee has developed a strong feeling of unity and I’m looking forward to observing their future committee works, because the main characteristics about their common idea sharing is that the info they store in their brains is too much, the charm

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Apparently, fifteen minutes before I showed up and about two minutes after finishing brainstorming, Francisco, Dimitrios, Radka, Elias, Bjarne, Oksana, Deborah, Marin, Maria, Billy, Marco, Krista, Stephanie and Maddy (the Environment committee) had been given an assignment – how to explain to people, that reality-TV series started already in the eighties with “Michael Knight” where they showed the everyday life of David Hasselhoff. In today’s society, however, nothing works without a plan. The committee was desperately trying to co-operate – a plan was conceived (codename: Keywords), then they red-buttoned the just-born plan (everyone who has been to a toilet at Ludwig Erhard Haus, knows what I’m talking about). Anyway, near the “end” – two plans remained. That unfortunately also meant two sides – and after about 200 hours of serious war comparable to an angry squirrel biting a bear in the ear, I heard Bjarne say, “Oh, then we talked about the same thing all the time, only in different words.” I think I saw tears in Maddy’s and Oksanas’s eyes. While the Environment committee was discussing world-saving issues, also something interesting happened – Boffrang the Award-Boy was passing by and decided to visit us. Unfortunately, at the entrance, he was ripped in half by the organisers who mistakenly took him for a delegate being late. No worries though, I managed to get the award papers off him before he was dragged to the kitchen. You all got an award for not falling asleep (not for more hzthan ten minutes anyway). Franco got a Late-ButStill-Shining award and Deborah got the Most-Random-Award. If anybody tells you there should have been money going with the award, they’re lying. Otherwise I would have safely delivered it to you. Hoi! Need to go and buy myself a new suit for the General Assembly. Keep up the good work.

coming so naturally from their inside and they are such a great team. That’s going to be a tough competition for any kind of attacks. After the splendid days of teambuilding the committee discussed each member’s fears and hopes which prepared them ready to work together, helped them easily integrate in the seriousness of the committee work. Following the internal rule for tolerance in their discussions they invented cards to raise when they aren’t satisfied with the particular situation. The cards are for problems with language, respect or time. By the way, fancy knowing what the girls thinks about the boys? I’m going show you how they decide this, and after that sweetheart you will have to wait till the next issue. Picture one- The girls are deciding... Picture two- They are voting... Picture three- Boys are nervous for their results... The story goes on....


the germanifesto - Wednesday 17 November

Future - Secuirty and Defence - Civil Liberties

The Future By The Baron Monday morning’s significance is not only the commencement of committee work, but also the onslaught of high heels and fancy ties. Katherine (BEL) managed to inform me that all the men in suits were her ‘visual feast’ (Of course, she was sitting between Fergus (IRE) and

Chris (AUS) all morning). The array of formal dress pervades the committees’ paradigm, they become the ultimate thinktank, an Irishman spending most of the time at the helm, Michael (GBR) bringing up the rear. Naturally this infantile machine operates with German efficiency, every delegate auguring gems of

It’s a hard life, working with the pros By Bobby Schinen Walking into Room 101 (an unfortunate coincidence!) on a crisp Monday morning, I expected to find The Committee on Security and Defence but instead thought I had stumbled into an official parliamentary meeting. These were not the delegates I had left in Weberllin just the day before. Here they were, sitting behind desks, shoes shined within an inch of their lives, (did the boys get a group discount on black shoe polish I wonder?!) official looking documents in hand, already discussing their ideas. It was impressive stuff. Not only was it impressive, it was rather inspiring too. And to inspire a Journo at 10am in the morning is a seriously difficult task but Security Defence certainly managed it. Words such as ‘unity’, ‘freedom’, ‘democracy’ and ‘action’ really fired me up for a

I’m feeling so happy, excited and delighted. It’s not because I finally have a shower curtain(woo hoo!). Neither is it because I finally bought myself a hairbrush. It’s because I’ve spend this lovely Monday in the committee on Civil Liberties, Justice and Home Affairs. I witnessed a wonderful, very energetic and powerful atmosphere, caused by a passionate discussion of different opinions and ideas with a lot of participation of every member and with the lovely guidance of their chair (Sponge)Bob. As the discussion was becoming more complicated and with more features to talk about the committee decided they

c o m m i t t e e work

brain fodder, all with conviction and clarity. If the group has any flaws, its that the ladies are too often distracted by Salik’s (DNK) very long feet, and the prospects represented by such. This committee is not daunted by the task at hand... to be Europe’s soul and to be EYP’s philosophers.

hot debate…oh no wait, I’m not a delegate, I’m a mere Journo, I just report them. Anyhoo, it was inspiring all the same. Still working well, delightful Scottish Co-Chair Emma led her delegates through the minefield of grouping all the ideas from brainstorming. It was hard and it was definitely slow at times but trusty Security and Defence (I really need to find a cool way to shorten that) rose to the challenge to overcome their problems, neatly grouping all of their valuable ideas. However tempting it may have been for them to launch straight into a hot discussion on the question in question (I’m sorry, it’s way past midnight), my gorgeous delegates sensibly decided to look at the causes first. Eva (BGH) told us all to ‘look to the future’ and to ‘realise our aims’, various nods and positive sounding ‘ummms’ indicated that her views were shared by many. It was Co-Chair Lukas’ (CZE) turn next to test his del-

will best keep the tolerance between each other by passing a bottle, which meant that who had the bottle had the right to (shleep) speak. Their first day of committee work was very productive, very concentrated and exclusively high tempered as there were, of course, many different points of view. The committee did however manage to find the balance and tact between each other with the help of Michel(POL) who had a very diplomatic approach to uniting and concluding the different statements made by the others. Jasmina (MKD) was very keen in trying to persuade Peter (GBR) and after a while she finally succeeded (you go girl!), which highlighted her powers of persuasion.

egates to the max, giving them just 50 seconds to think about their topics. Being the professionals that they are however, no one even broke a sweat as the time was up. I began to think, have these guys done this before? With just five minutes to go, each member of Security and Defence gave a quick summary of how they felt during their first day of Committee Work. The first day of Committee Work is always difficult and often quite intense so the positive replies received were a pleasant surprise. Aidan, (GBR) said it began “slowly and then turned in to a rewarding experience.” and Xavier (FRA) described how happy he was to be here. If that wasn’t moving enough, the final quotation really tested my ability not to cry, quite simply, “We’re just a great group of people and we can do a lot of stuff together.” Maybe not put in the best way but we all knew what the message was. Sentimentalities over, there was just time for a round of applause for the incredible work done so far. Alls I can say is, if this is what they can do in four hours, I have the highest of hopes for Security and Defence for the rest of the session. It’s a hard life, working with the pros but someone’s gotta do it.

The Bottle is in Your Hands Now By Pocahontas

Gery (SLO) was always ready to have a pleasant discussion with Jasmina, which to our mind is a sign of special chemistry. Nathan (IRL) preferred expressing his opinion in front of Anna (DEU) and discussing some topics more privately. It seemed that the effective communication helps them share between each other and the work is going very well- Silvia (ITA) and Marina (ROM) seemed to enjoy it.

Joining this committee in their first steps of creating the resolution is extremely exciting, because of the amazing potential they have. After they have established themselves as one of the greatest powers among the committees they are looking forward to joining the other fourteen at the Reichstag. And they are going to ROCK.

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International Trade

International Trade By Mertahens, Hauptadelsarchiv Bamberg Teambuilding is over and committee work has just started. In the two days of Werbellin’s cold countryside, the people from International trade (IT) have merged into one team, a strong committee. This team is ready to do some serious work. A team that is on a divine mission to tackle the “Common Agricultural Policy Monster”, which houses in the swamps of Doha and tries to kill its enemies with its subsidy sling, its big belly, created by “overproduction” and its big mouth fed by “tariffs” and “minimum prizes”. The answer to this problem, the holy sword is forged in downtown Berlin, in the “Ludwig Erhard House”, by the ITs, to achieve the mission and reach paradise. A worldwide free trade. Wait……Is that the goal? Or could the “monster” be turned into an innocent pet? Discussion is vital!!! One thing is certain: Today’s work laid the foundation for a great resolution. But how could we, thus, explain the creation for this enormous team-spirit? One who is responsible for this unlimited effort and high work ethic is the Italian Federico, the Chair, with his German sense of punctuality that keeps his team on the right track. The social interaction between the delegates slowly heats up. While Romain (FR) takes the initiative and translates things for Marlene (POR) into French, Niklas (DNK) is constantly concerned about the well-being of his fellow committee members and passes mints around (it was kind of weird that shortly after he had done that, a Journo was

10 Ways to Cheer Up a Journo By Mausal & Bobby Schinen

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sneezing, Miguel (ES) seemed a little confused by the strong taste, and Olga (LVA) was shortly after, coughing. It definitely must have been the weather.) Besides that Niklas (DNK) and Florence (BEL) seem to get to know each other a little bit better. While she was still kind of tactless in Werbellin (“Niklas, you are very cute. You look like a bum”), you could today actually see them observing each other’s pants, arguing, which one was tighter. As they then started singing “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all you clothes”, it became time for some serious guessing: Is there some hanky panky going on? We’ll see. The mission is to be continued. Remember, you are a great. IT: The team that compares the lead singer of Led Zeppelin to a girl from Latvia (What was that all about anyways?)

1. When you see a tired journo wandering around with a dull face in the endless corridors of the hostel, offer him/her your bed to sleep in. 2. Write an excellent anonymous article and give it to the nearest Journo. 3. Give us a massage. 4. Bring all the chocolate you have left from Eurovillage up to the pressroom, or if you have none left, just go buy us some :) 5. Give us a hug. 6. Be there to catch us when we fall asleep while walking. 7. Fall madly in love with a fellow delegate, so we’d have some gossip to write about. 8. Offer us a seat when we have to stand up in another ‘Official Event’ because of the lack of chairs. 9.Stop time for us, so we could write our articles and sleep too. 10.Give us a copy of the Serbian/Macedonian/Croatian song from Eurovillage Presentations (boom, boom, boom, boom, booom) - (seriously, we want a copy of the CD)


the germanifesto -Wednesday 17 November

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Foreign Affairs 1 - Employment I

The Real Teambuildiing By Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän I had to laugh silently when I saw Niamh standing next to the board, writing all the notes down. I could still hear this decent lady singing “Hey, baby, I wanna know if you’d be my girl!” loudly on the SBahn the night before. But then she revealed her real self and taught us a song ‘Big booty’ and I can tell you that shouting ‘oh, s***!’ altogether releases all your stresses and breaks the barriers)! I left this committee of cheerful individuals with a great feeling and when I came back an hour later, what I found was a group of annoyed and disappointed people. This is what happens sometimes when communication fails. What this committee had to deal with was not just a usual argument; in fact it would be a serious thing if this weren’t a group of intelligent and smart people. The circle-therapy

helped. Once the team realizes its mistakes and once the members apologize to each other and once ‘the storm is over’ – it is one of the most beautiful feelings. Maybe it is just my opinion, but soling problems – even of this case – is the best teambuilding. The conclusion that Committee on Foreign Affairs I. Came to: Patience, Tolerance, Listening, Compromises, and Sincerity As the last thing I’d like to quote Vincent (FRA) here. He said it simply with the words of Aretha Franklin: “R.E.S.P.E.C.T.” Well done!

The mosaic of Committee on Employment and Social Affairs I By Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän When I entered the room of the Committee on Employment and Social Affairs I, the debate had already started: so I crept silently through the room, sat on the desk and focused my eyes on what was going on. There was David (NDL) standing in the middle. He loves being in the spotlight and was enjoying his role of the

serious leader…on the other hand everyone would feel good in this position if s/he was receiving such a support from the females on the committee (this basically means that every girl pulled out her camera secretly and took few pictures of him, but since we went through the journo-spying training by our

editors, nothing can be missed). While David was having his good time, Heili (EST, chair) decided she would prepare plastic-cups for the whole committee and she went even further – she wanted to write a name of every single delegate on them. It went quite well, but then came Eoife (IRL): “Eoife, how do you spell your name:c)?” “It is OK, just write Efe on that.” “No, there’s gonna be YOUR name on your cup.” “Ok, then. It is E.O.I.F.E.” “E.O.I.F.A.?” “No, F.E.” “E.O.A.F.E.?” “No, O.I.” “Would you mind if I wrote just Efe?” While these two were having such a sophisticated conversation, Ashild (NOR) seemed busy with perusing something – what I thought

were educational materials relative to the topic of social wellfare time-bomb . I focused my eyes once more and…I didn’t want to believe…but she was really going through a magazine full of pictures of Christmas trees…those Norwegians! Unfortunately I had to leave in the middle of discussion, therefore I don’t know how did Committee on Employment and Social Affairs I solve the serious problem presented by Sander (EST) – the northern bananas differ from the southern bananas. What should we, the Europeans, do about it?

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d e a r david

Dear David.... B-list celebrity and sex god David Hasselhoff gives advice on your session problems

Dear David, Every time I enter my committee room all the female delegates start hitting on me. Even worse actually- it’s not only the delegates, but also the chairs, journos and the organizers. It seriously influences my work and it is very hard to put up with it. David, what should I do? - a certain journo from an island near Great Britain Dear Herr Prince Charming Well in the old times, when I was still in Baywatch, it happened to me all the time. However, it’s better now. Sonext time this annoying incident occurs, just tell the harasser, that your identical twin is waiting up in the pressroom.

Dear David I’m particularly bothered by the hair growing on my chest. How do you keep yours so clean and shiny?

Dear David Hasselhoff, I really enjoyed the time in Werbellin with my committee, the great cafeteria with its awesome Schnitzel improvisation and last but definitely not least the great group showers. I have to express my deepest regret, that the shower situation, which contributed to the EYP team spirit, pretty much changed when we moved to Berlin. Now we have to face the unfortunate situation not to sneak out of our room at seven o’clock in the morning and run half naked through the hallway in order to meet our friends in the shower to take this very important “team-building” shower, but just stay in our room and shower there. I find it unfair and an extreme advancement that the Journos can still enjoy this special situation, being in the house next to us with only one shower on the hallway, while we cannot share the nice thing and have to accept the boring fact of having a shower in our room. Please help me out! Anonymous delegate David Hasselhoff: Dear delegate, I can really understand your deepest sadness and anger towards the new shower situation. Like everyone, you find yourself in a situation, which you will be not able to change so very quickly. It is just the fact that Journos have a higher privilege and a higher influence on the organisation of EYP accomodation. If you are nice to the journos and ask them about your sadness towards the showers, they might allow you to let you shower in their shower and will take the burden on them to switch and take a shower in you room. But I cannot promise you anything. You really would have to be nice to them!!!

Dear Mr. “ you’re-the-only-one-who-can-help-me”

Dear friend Finally someone comes to me with a real problem, but you know actually it’s just a case natural beauty and the physique of Adonis. However I can reveal the way Pamela manages with hers.

I’ve lost all the photos, that I’ve taken today of my committee and that I’ve based my articles on, somewhere in the computer. I’ve looked through all the possible and impossible files there are, but still nothing. Dear David, please help! - a desperate journo No worries. after thinking your head off, replacing the really goods photos with some unnaturally made crap ones, having already put them in the paper- you’ll probably find them somewhere on the desktop. Or, perhaps the best option is to replace all the photos with ones of me.

UNIT 3 - More Useful German Phrases By die Beerlinische Bradwurst (die BB) and Zeit-1874, translation bei Mertahens, Hauptadelsarchiv Bamberg

1. You wouldn’t happen to have the 274th episode of “Knight Rider”? – Du hast nicht zufällig die 274. Episode von Knight Rider, oder? 2. Is that a belt or a Belgian skirt? – Ist das ein Gürtel, oder ein belgischer Rock? 3. Could you check if there’s something wrong with my ass? – Kannst du mal guckn, ob ich was am Arsch habe? 4. Do you want my “Schnitzel”? - Willst du mein Schnitzel? 5. Nice shoes! Wanna share a room? - Tolle Schuhe. Wollen wir uns einen Zimmer teilen?

6. Do you know where I could find non-german food? - Weißt du, wo ich kein deutsches Essen finde? 7. Cheers! I feel like a shandyboy! - Prost! Ich fühle mich wie ein „Shandyboy“ 8. Do you feel “out of order” today? - Fühlst du dich heute auch “außer Betrieb”?

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q u o tes

Singleton’s guide to the Mayor’s Reception by Bobby Schinen Met Mayor today. V.v.v.good. Mayor on top form. Made inspiring speech in Opening ceremony. Expected to be bored but wasn’t. Speech said our job was “to fill the idea of a unified Europe with life.” Said “European Reality” would be beautiful thing. Indeed. Mentioned importance of co-operating with capital cities around EU. Note to self: must book mini break holiday to exciting EU capital city soon. Good plan. Left ceremony feeling inspired and happy. Reception. Number of posh chicken tortilla wraps consumed: 12 Number of Mayors spotted: 1 Soft drink units consumed: 34 1/5 Number of times craned neck marvelling at chandelier: 6 Mini apple pies unnecessarily consumed: 27 Surprised at large number of eligible bachelors present at reception. Lots of suits on show. Venue amazing. Imagined was eligible bachelor’s wife entertaining guests. Beaten to last muffin by David Hasselhof. V. odd. Altogether splendid event. Went home thinking passionately of EU: V.good.

Quotes Klaara (Journo, CZE): „Do you have anything to drink?“ Maria (Journo, BGH): “Do I look like a bar or what?” Pärtel (FA I, EST): “Ott, how did we get back to our room last night?” Ott (Legal Affairs , EST): “Where did we get back from?” Yannis (FA I, GRE): ‘Spread the legs! You are laughing, but I am suffering!’ (Have you ever played ‘skin the snake’?) Svetlana (FA I, RUS): ‘Boys were here, boys were there - boys are everywhere!’ Pärtel (FA I, EST): ‘Take your clothes off, come on!’ (At least somebody understood what is that Spiderweb about!) Klara (Journo, CZE): ‘Does anybody have any quotations for the newspaper?’ Kair (Journo, EST): ‘Somebody said ‘%$&/%$$§ /%%§§”!’ to me!’

“All I can think about are breast augmentations” – Ian Millar

CFJ (Certain Finnish Journo) to a German delegate: ‘So is this your first time in Germany?’ Robert (CivLib, CYP, chair): ‘I may not have underwear, but at least I have a toothbrush!’ (Just in case you were interested in hygienic habits of certain Cypriots) Robert (CivLib, CYP, chair): ‘It’s not stealing...until you get caught!’ Klara (Journo, CZE): ‘I have written seventy words in two hours!’ (3am in the pressroom) Oliver (Journo, CHE): ‘Well, that makes less than a word in a minute...’ (Thanks for your support:c/) Peter (CivLib, GBR) to Hugo (CivLib, NDL): “Stop blowing when she’s coming!’ (ever played suck and blow?) Frederick (BNC, SWE): “Since I am not a chair anymore, I can start picking up delegates!”

Bob (GRC): “Scheeeep”

Kudzi (Journo, IRE): “I’ve been playing ‘Skin the snake’ since I was thirteen.”

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s port

EUCOMAP - Sporting update by The Baron

After the wet weekend

which saw the Poles on top, the new week begins on a similar note. Yes, the Polish men are holding the league firmly at the hilt, milking it for all its worth. A Polish guitarist (as yet unnamed) showed the strength of his team by stripping down in front of a crowd of delegates, however he did have help from THE Austrian himself, Chris from the Future com-

mittee. The pair exposed some flesh, striking fear into the hearts of the competition, and only increasing the problem of damp on the playing field.

This same event obviously boosts the spirit of team Belgium. Great things are still expected of this gifted bushel, albeit in spite of the dominance of the Bulgarian ladies.

Another development is the rise and rise of the British. One of the Northern Irish (Aiden) showing the full extent of his beef to an accommodating Belgian (Florence) in overtime at EYP cafe.

Unfortunately, not all developments are positive. Even though there are many teams yet to complete any matches, the Danes find themselves relegated to the five-a-side league. The Danish men are reported to be indulging in

late night television viewing of a questionable, and altogether unhealthy, nature. It seems they are content to boycott their matches, privately satisfying their competitive urges in some fantasy league. Hopefully the next instalment will bring many more developments, but that is, of course, in the hands of the delegates.

Word on the corridor... Bobby Schinen

Early hours of Monday morning, somewhere in the depths

of Lehrter Straße Jugend Gästehaus, delegates continued ‘teambuilding’ (wink-wink nudge-nudge), talking and generally having maxxi-fun.

Keep enjoying yourselves guys!

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…Long after EYP café finished, delegates continued partying way after bedtime. Apparently the Greek and British delegations joined forces for a ‘wild’ party, leading others to follow their partying ways. Cheesy Europop was the order of the day as each nation present demonstrated just how they dance back home… …Rumour has it Aidan (GBR) and Florence (BEL) have been getting up close and oh so personal, that’s the spirit guys! Unfortunately we have yet to get pictorial evidence though we’re working on it… …Down in the depths of the delegate hostel the Greeks continued to P-A-R-T-Y enlisting the help of the Cypriots to educate the masses in the ways of the Zorba dance from Crete. Approximately nine different nations joined up to learn the dance in the corridor, that’s true EYPness for

you! I’ve heard it all got a bit messy though with everyone ending up on the floor. Ouch, bet they felt the bruises the following day!… …Latvians, Germans, Ukrainians and the Irish took lead from Johnny (GBR) in the first floor corridor as they all got down on their knees, dancing the night away to traditional Indian song. With so many nations in such a small space it must have got hot and sweaty in there… …Did you know that the Norwegians have five national beer songs? The Norwegian delegation opened their dormitory doors to anyone who wanted to learn a new song or five. The Danish delegations not to be outdone began singing their national drinking song closely followed by the Latvians. I’m feeling a feature on national beer songs coming on… …Later - much, much later - the Irish and British slowed things down to chill out in their rooms. Delegate pyjama parties – we like it!!


Germanifesto - Issue 2