k c i K y l i Da
It’s a Journos Life for Me By Roy Keane and Ruud Van Nistelrooij You may have noticed some shady looking characters lurking in the corners of your committee work session and around teambuilding and in room C316 with bottles of all kinds of everything, but who really are these so-called journos? Well, these not only are the football team capable of beating the chair’s 3:2, but infact, this session revolves around us…and here’s why; - We are the media therefore we control the way you all think, so watch out for secret messages such as “Bring us food! or Give me a massage” and what not, - We are the middle (wo)man between the chairs and delis and as such have access to ALL the gossip of the session…if only you all knew!!! - While you all may think we party all night till 6am playing drinking games such as Never (lie!) have I ever, well, this is true, but it is done in the name of research and the evidence of this may be seen on the quotes page, - We are the most creative of all those at the session constantly creating new things such as cocktails like Diarrhoea Surprise, On The Rocks, Sunrise, On The Beach, and for the non-alcoholic drinkers we also have Virgin Diarrhoea, - We have unique characteristics such as extreme tickle-ish-ness, French-ness, kissing powers and ability to stay awake…most of the time, without any sleep! - We possess an ability to look at everything from a second, more promiscuous angle, - We have double identities with our football names for the press, but the true journo comes out at 4 am in our messy dorm rooms, which are ﬁlled with French cheese, Russian vodka and Latvian chocolate, - We have more secrets than you’ll ever know…well, we hope you’ll never ﬁnd out!
Quotes: Drunk Delegate: “Let me shave, before you gogo!” Anne (Delegate, GER): “I lost the guy that has my skirt in his room.” Journo team: “I’m not hot at all!”; “Ich habe keine Beine.”; “Oh god, my apples fell out.” Random Delegate: „The Portugese guy looks like the gardener from Desperate Housewife.
Hot Stuff !!!! Exclusive interview with r*****.......................3 Comittee Work............................................4-5 Police Investigation: 8 involved........................6 and much more....
by Petr Cech So the last issue is out, I‘m very happy and ﬁnally enjoying some free time and looking forward to my bed at home with more than 2 hours of sleep a day. I hope that you‘ve enjoyed the session as much as I have and that you will bring home lot‘s of nice memories and few issues of our newspaper and maybe when you look inside in 10 years, you will remember everything you‘ve done here. Bye and thank you very much for having such a nice session.
PLACE YOUR ADVERTISMENT HERE.
Deutschland ist super, ja! by Diego Maradonna
Ole, ole, super Deutschland, super Deutschland!! You may well have noticed that yesterday’s ¼ ﬁnal between Germany and Argentina came to an end with the unexpected victory of super Deutschland meaning the door has been opened for them to play in the semi-ﬁnal. Such were the emotions after the game that seemingly all of Muenster’s student population, families on bikes and some jolly old aged pensioners joined the grand parade culminating at the so called ‘’rabbit roundabout’’. EYPers were quick to join in with the fun and it didn’t take long for us to learn the lyrics of some German football anthems. We also learnt a few chants that involved knealing on the ground and suddenly jumping up, screaming and hopping to the rythm of surrounding fan trumpets, drums and breaking beer bottles. Some of us were lucky enough to see a stark naked footie fanatic ﬂy past on his bike, we also saw crazy locals climbing on anything and everything higher than the ground, waving mas-
sive German ﬂags and shouting ‘’Ohne Holland fahren wir nach Berlin!’’ even though the game was played with Argentina... It goes without saying that the atmosphere was brilliant and that Germans sure know how to have a good time. Later on when we passed by the roundabout on one of our late night walks, we had the chance
to experience the aftermath of the event – mountains of broken bottles, people lying on patches of grass and a whole bunch of drunken students standing on the roof of a nearby residence. A beautiful sight to see... But it was worth it for the unique atmosphere!
Je fais ce que je veux by Thierry Henry Yesterday was some famous frog star’s birthday. Sexy blond haired Johanna was strongly determined to celebrate it properly , she told everybody about her PEB needs( Party Eroticism & Beer, or ask the French for the genuine meaning) and even spread the information by writing on her tummy It’s my party and I’ll do what I wanna ! That sounds explicit enough. I’m pretty sure that you saw the jumping frog celebrating her birthday last night. She ﬁrst got her French ID taken by the Thierry for the reason that she brought intolerable shame to the wholeness of the French nation by getting drunk with gross cheap Bordeaux wine. Then she decided to have something strong and Russian but since she could not ﬁnd any suitable Russian guy around she had ¾ of a bottle of Vodka. The frog got the party started and Vodka obviously helped her jump higher in order to get onto a chair and dance fanatically on the worldwide famous song from Moulin Rouge Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? After shaking her body alone on her chair for a moment, she felt
like switching from Russian fever to Portuguese heat, therefore she grabbed some Portuguese guy and let him know that a drunk frog could be really fun and tempting. The story does not tell about how it all ended, but we can say that Froggy Jo celebrated her birthday properly.
MYSTERY By Ruud Van Nistelrooij In the pressroom, on the camera of one of your beloved journos, this picture has been found. Although we’re not sure who the owner of this joyﬁlled box is, we could see that it was already used. We found out that one of the delegates has been in the presence of quite some different girls. So we have a main suspect.. From some reliable sources we found out that the person in question has been seen at the gas station with an unidentiﬁed german- talking female. If you have more information or if you recognise these hands, contact your local journo!
Translation of the meaning of these words is for Journos team very easy. „Wir brauchen Kaffee“
It’s a bunny world by Diego Maradonna
It’s hard to miss the hoards of bunnies jumping around in the sunny parks of Muenster, they’re extraordinarily cute and ﬂuffy and have received many compliments from EYPers too. We even managed to interview a little grey one who came to visit us just outside our hostel window! So why Muenster? The answer is obvious and you all know it... Muenster is the healthiest city in the world! Here we’re allowed to frollock freely in the various parks and gardens of the inner city and are admired by locals and tourists alike.
Do you ever get scared? No, not really, we have many cozy burrows to hide in if someone starts terrorising us. We have a lovely life, we do. So is there anything terrible about living in the city? No, nothing’s worse than the tourists. Otherwise we’re always well off food-wise as dustbins work as a fantastic source for different nibbles and the parks provide a safe haven for us and our children to play in. Thank you!
Don’t people get tempted to poke you or even worse - eat you? There are always some stupid kids who like to pretend they’re playing hide&seek with us but we tend to ignore them. The most annoying people are the *** tourists who take endless photos of us, sometimes at the most ungodly hours! Noone has attempted to eat me, I don’t know about others, we don’t talk about things like that.
by Thierry Henry, messy journo impressed by well-organised committee Once upon a time, I opened a door, got into this wide room with tropical plants in every corner and sea-blue seats, and there I found my beloved committee. Some of the delegates were sitting around the table reﬂecting and brainstorming, some were standing and handling pinkish papers with various sentences, key words and ideas written on it. Maxim, their lovely chair from Germany was silently watching them organise themselves, just leading them a bit when they needed it. They looked perfectly organised and were really happy about their work. Kristin from Germany said that she was really satisﬁed so far, feeling that everybody’s ideas were expressed, that the group worked extremely well together, and she conﬁrmed that teambuilding games had been effective to help them feel like a team and work in an efﬁcient way. “We played fruit game before starting, that helped us relax and get ready to start working” said Kristin, giving me a very cute smile. I actually felt so ashamed about my messy way of organising my own work, writing random quotes and gossip on some dirty torn paper and losing it twice before I can start typing it for real (if I ever manage to read what I wrote).
by Bastian Schweinsteiger
Civil Rights 2 by Roy Keane Well, after a day of extended coffee breaks and debating football politics yesterday, this committee got to work today discussing the big brother society, almighty databases, no-go zones and neo-nazis! As per usual, notes were taken, topics discussed and arguments were faught whilst sitting around in a big circle. I, being Irish, was happy to see that there were so many jokes and word puns being thrown around; when Sabrina asked what is to be done about the 11million Europeans whose ﬁnger prints on their biometric passports are unidentifyable, Daan suggested buring them all! When Nicki stated that terrorists will have big problems if they change their teeth, Catarina retorted that they already have big problems: they’re terrorists! And Sabrina added to the conversation when she observed that getting 1 or 2 punches is bad, but getting beaten to shit is worse! Well spotted! However, these guys have a very relaxed approach to their task and Gerrit highlighted this on a few accasions by expressing his wishes for everyone to relax a little (and take it easy in the airport) and agreeing with Sabrina when she suggested avoiding topics that they don’t have a solution to! Thats the spirit of problem solving! But weļl see how the fruits of their work blossom at GA tomorrow and Sunday. In the mean time, if anyone knows what RFID technology stands for, let this committee know!
SO, COmmittee on Environment, what to say about these guys? An Committee with total distinctions. Their humpty-dumpty Chair Sebastian from Germany is a really crazy guy, who always expresses a feeling of hyperactivity, jumps the whole time around and always infuses his committee with tons of information. On the other hand, the Delegates on their own are more the quiet thinkers. The discussions seem to be done telepathically, but at least quiet efﬁcent. The resolution is an immense piece of work. At least this seems to be something that the greenkeepers of the future know on their own. And they know how to celebrate this, at least they do. When I came to this committee on Friday, at least two people where obvious injured. One girl was bandgaed on her foot and another one had a really gravelly voice that seemed to be issued from last nights party.
Impossiblism and Socialism by Bastian Schweinsteiger
First of all, I have to correct myself. In the penultimate issue about teambuilding I reported that the Committee on Social Affairs consists of 2 boys and 9 girls. That is wrong! The amount of womanhood is not that huge, as the 2 boys just have to collaborate with
8 girls. Does this substract the dominance of the feamle gender? No. As I predicted in the former issue, the girls rock the room. They dominate the
discussions that deal with topics like immigration and social discrimination. This explains also the sometimes not so serious, but typical female proposals, like to claim free chocolate for women to encourage them to join the military. But in general, everybody on this committee is a ﬁghter, to make the world a better place and to give chances to everybody, what is already shown in the committee work, as the stake in participating is already quite equal spread. The only person whom they are not social to is their I-try-tobe-nice-journo, as I had to perform a song, just after I joined their work after the coffee break. *Arrgghh* Anyway, the really self-conﬁdent committee („He, of course we are very special persons“). So, at the end I can say, the Committee on Social Affairs is just as their chairs name says: LOT = Lovely+Open-Minded+Thankful.
Kick- it General Assembly by Gianlucca Buffon
It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, the sun is shining, it’s hot like in India and Germany is into the semi-ﬁnals. But instead of sunbathing, sleeping or enjoying a nice cup of coffee in one of the dozens of cafes in the wonderful city of Münster, a group of young, beautiful delegates is going to spend a day inside, talking politics. Yes, the General Assembly of the ﬁrst ever Kick-It-Like-EYP session is going to start. The venue place, the Stadtweinhaus, is absolutely magniﬁcent, like almost everything else in Münster, and soon enough, the assembly room is ﬁlled with speeches, points of information, points of privilege and quality debating. From Mohammed’s characters to EU relations with Iran and Russia, the delegates are presenting what they have achieved in their committees the past few days. And it is absolutely amazing to see how much you know, how interested you are and how you present your work. This is what EYP is about: widening ones knowledge and having fun doing it with newly found friends. So don’t forget: work hard but enjoy it! And just KICK-IT!!!
Bits of comittee work from Foreign Affairs, Civil I, Family and Future
Deli car theft
by Bastian Schweinsteiger During the barbecue on Thursday one of the editors and one of the journos decided to leave the place early to do some work. Against the will of the editor, the journo decided to encourage some delegates to come with them back to the accomodation place, because he is a nice one. So, after a couple of minutes, at least a group of twenty people walked right back in tht dark. Quiet more people than th two guys had expected. The work took a long time and everybody had fun, until the point when some German delegates inside this group started to show disrespect. The German GOA delegation started to become mean to the journo because they thought that nobody can show them anything like direction and authority. As the group arrived at the residence, the GOA delegation decided to move to the petrol station to get some more drinks, what we as persons of responsibility could not allow - at least not as long we don‘t go with them ;) so eight people walked to the next petrol station right near the Gleis 22 (probably everybody already knows it). On the way we passed a crossroad and the journo recognized the car of the German chair Maxim standing there. As the journo is a nice one, he proposed to go over and to see if everything is alright, as the car was standing there with ﬂashing indicators and nobody inside, but the group decided to be completly mean to the jounro and to ignore him completely. Even the editor did not listen to the journo. SO, the walk went further and ﬁnally we reached the petrol station where a lot of strange persons were staying and trying to provoke stress with our felow delegates. But everything went ﬁne and ﬁnally we walked back to the residence, refreshed with some beer, coffee and some chewing gum. Being back at the crossroad were the nice journo had seen Maxims car before, he recognzied the car again and this time he told all the other people again about and this time they listened to him, because this time a police car was standing there as well. The group crossed the street and the magniﬁcent journo put all his courage together and talked to the policemen standing there. The fact was, that the car was left and this place with nobody inside, no key and opened doors. The police wanted to tow the car off but we tried to calm them down and the nice journo tried to call Maxim. But we did not reach him and so we phoned thousand of other people but nobody knew where Maxim was. While this time (approx. 30 mins) we sad down and drank our stuff from the petrol station. And as usual for Delegates from the GOA school in Hamburg they don‘t have a high limit for alcohol, so the ﬁrst of them fall asleep soon. But what did the sedulous journo? Of course, he called Maxim, and ﬁnally we reached him. As I woke him up by this call he was not really believing me, but as he heared the sirens of the police car he just switched off and came over. But the towing service car has already arrived and they wanted to do their job. But ﬁnally Maxim reached the place and he was really p****** off but he tried to solve this situation calm and halcyon. Of course the situation was strange for the police as they found a car right in the city with nobody in and with no key, which Maxim had lost in the residence, and than having 8 people around, just drinking and taking tons of pictures. Finally, to safe the car from further damage, the police towed it away and brought Maxim back to the residence. Later he told that we 8 are suspected as well, that we had stolen the car to drive to the petrol station - this is so damn dumb! So, till yet nobody got arrested...we‘ll see how the sessions ends for us!
Maybe you always wondered whatâ€˜s all about being journo? Now you can try! Write your own article !
The Press-Room aka Arsekickers United We thank to all of you delegates, for having this wonderful session, full of fun, laughter, good mood and even bit of seriousness, it was great to be here and we hope to see you again somewhere else. :-)
Ruud Van Nistelrooy Roy Keane
Petr Cech & Birgit Prinz
Andrej Schevchenko Bastian Schweinsteiger
Thierry Henry Diego Maradonna