EYDIS Authentic Living
REMEDIES FOR YOUR LIMITING
GETTING THE LOVE YOU
A TIME OF GREAT
LISA MARIE PLATSKE
AWARD WINNING LEADERSHIP EXPERT
EYDIS Authentic Living
Warrior Woman Goddess of the Island
Imagine All the Possibilities EYDIS Interview EYDIS Contributor EYDIS Sponsorship EYDIS Licensee Click to learn more from the publisher https://youtu.be/HGFUGYj8HBs
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C O N T R I B U T E R S
The founder of Eydis, has been in the marketing and media arena for over 20 years, owning five businesses and selling two of those. She creates local magazines as well as publishing a global magazine creating an awareness around articles that are empowering and inspirational. As an Author and Prosperity Coach, Maria helps others to live the life they desire.
EYDIS Authentic Living
Eydis magazine is a monthly publication and makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of Eydis Media. For inquiries e-mail email@example.com.
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Patrick Andries Kathryn Andries The Dream Experts
Pete Winiarski & Terri Levine eydisauthenticliving.com 13
from the publisher The Art Of Being Happy Through Affirmations Affirmations are proven methods of self-improvement because of their ability to rewire our brains. What we think about, we bring about. A lot like exercise, it raises the level of feel-good hormones, and who doesn’t want to be happy? Mahatma Ghandi has a famous quote that outlines how your beliefs shape your destiny. He is quoted as saying: “Your beliefs become your thoughts; Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions; Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values; Your values become your destiny.” So effectively, when we say positive affirmations we’re changing our thinking and our beliefs, which, in turn, will create behavioral changes and improved results.
I am joyful, I am confident,
I say affirmations every day. It is a great way to stay in gratitude and serves as a reminder that all is well. Below is a list of affirmations that I like to say. I am self-reliant, creative & persistent in whatever I do.
I am unique,
I live in the present and am confident of the future
I am me!
I am unique. I feel good about being alive and being me.
I always see the good in others and myself I am confident, self-esteem, and inner wisdom is increasing with each day. I surround myself with peaceful people. I release past anger and hurts and fill myself with serenity and peaceful thoughts. I breathe in peace and I breathe out chaos and disorder. I am focused and engaged. I am grateful for this moment and find joy in it. I release the past and live fully in the present moment. I wake in the morning feeling happiness. I find joy and pleasure in the simplest things My heart is overflowing with joy I easily find solutions to challenges and roadblocks and move past them quickly. Every day in every way, I am becoming more and more successful. All is well in my world. I am calm, happy and content. This is a great step to living a happier, fuller life. Enjoy and thank you for reading Eydis Authentic Living Magazine.
Maria Savoy – Publisher
firstname.lastname@example.org email@example.com 14 | Eydis Magazine
g n i v i L c i t n e th u A s i d y E g y t Brin i n u m m o C al c o L r u o Y o Magazine T er sh i l b u p e h t m o r ore f m n r a e l o t k c i Cl Bs H 8 j Y G U F G be/H . u t u o y / / : s p t t h
page 18 Lisa Marie Platske From LEO (Law Enforcement Officer) To CEO (Chief Enthusiasm Officer) Award Winning Leadership Expert
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28 Getting the Love You Want
60 Surviving Parties as an Introvert
32 Teen Advocate, Kyle Prue, Sparks Literacy
64 Connecting You with You Create Amazing Relationships with Your Self & Others
96 The Dream Experts What Does Your Dream Mean
38 Romance Your Inner Knowing 42 The Demonstration of Democracy 46 Remedies for Your Limiting Habits 50 Catapult Entrepreneur Success in 2017 Through Collaboration 54 From Victim to Victor
70 Talk to Tamara Love Crazed 72 Dear Liberty A Friendship Shattered 76 A Time of Great Change
98 Ask the Life Coaches Learning and Loving Lamenting 102 You Are A Beloved
Wealth Consciousness 106 Lead to Flourish
Healthy Living 114 Sound Wellness for Your Heart 3 Tips for Nourishing Your Heart 118 Parties, Parties and More Parties 124 A Healthier You
80 Fitting In... Lifeâ€™s Greatest Puzzle 84 Love, Love, Love? Where for Art Thou? 90 The Importance of Play and Laughter
Lisa Marie Platske
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(Law Enforcement Officer)
(Chief Enthusiasm Officer)
“Destiny is a no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice; It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” – William Jennings Bryan by Maria Savoy
ward-winning leadership expert, Lisa Marie Platske, takes her law enforcement journey, which began on the piers of New York and ended post 9/11, and shares what exceptional leaders do differently, why connection is the new currency, and how to be strategic when seeking to position one’s self for big opportunities. The author of Designing Your Destiny, Connection: The New Currency, 7 Keys to Mastering Connection: The Success Guide to Opportunities, Income, and Influence, and the #1 Amazon international best-seller Turn
Possibilities into Realities, Lisa Marie is a certified master coach who has coached multimillion dollar entrepreneurs, start-ups, seasoned executives, and non-profit leaders. She trains these leaders how to position themselves and their organizations so that they are seen, heard, recognized, and rewarded without having to change who they are. Her proven success strategies have resulted in her clients getting 6-figure opportunities, bonuses and promotions, tripling their income, and finding up to 21 extra hours in their workweek. Simply put, she creates wellloved leaders.
When you meet Lisa Marie you can’t help but smile, her personality illuminates positivity, intellect, kindness, gratitude and a sense of adventure. So, it was no surprise that when asked what the future holds, she answered laughing; “Well, I’m still discovering that!” Lisa Marie truly lives her life as though every day is a gift and a blessing. Raised by a single mom, Lisa Marie witnessed her mom’s courage and fortitude to provide a happy healthy home for her and her sister. Although life was not always easy, lessons were taught that through hard work and with loving arms, eydisauthenticliving.com 19
anything was possible, all they had to do was to find their passion. “What a rare gift my mother gave us, she always made us believe that we could do anything. It’s interesting as I think about it, what my mom taught us was the one thing I want most for my clients now, doing honest work that they love.” “It’s fascinating how experiences shape us and make us who we are today. How we carry those experiences around with us throughout the course of our lives. It’s a privilege to be able to help others design their destiny’s just as my mother was influential in designing mine.”
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Law Enforcement At It’s Best
When you meet Lisa Marie, this passionate, graceful, witty woman will draw you in with her contagious smile and her unending energy. What will not be apparent is her unrecognizable background in law enforcement. Several years after attending the University of Scranton, the United States Customs Service hired Lisa Marie. Excited and grateful for the opportunity to serve, she tells the story of her first day of training. “I show up at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center with long blonde hair, red, white and blue fingernails and a pair of
black high-top Guess sneakers. I looked more like a version of law enforcement Barbie than someone serious about a career in Federal law enforcement.” She admits that she envisioned sitting at a big mahogany desk with the official seal of the United States of America emblazoned on the nametag on the door of her office. “What I got was an assignment on the rat-infested piers of New York with some pretty cranky men who didn’t think women should be a part of their world.” It didn’t take long for Lisa Marie to see that she wasn’t living the life of the adored detective on the detective shows that she
“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde had once watched as a child. In realizing that there was no room for soft-spoken women in this profession, Lisa Marie was forced to stand up, take notice and find her voice in a very fast way. Living in a man’s world, she was not-so-affectionately given the nickname “hair and nails” when she worked on the Contraband Enforcement Team. It wasn’t long before having to hold her own became the daily norm. She soon blended in and she worked side by side in filthy assignments, lifting boxes, driving forklifts and sifting through shipments of goods
from all over the world to look for contraband. It was far from what she had expected when making her decision to choose this profession. As time went on, Lisa Marie adapted to her surroundings and soon earned the respect of her peers as she was on track for being one of the fasted promoted women on the job.
The World As We Knew It Changed Forever
It was September 11th, 2001, when many Americans watched in sheer terror and shock as two planes went through the twin towers in New York City causing complete devastation and leaving its mark as one of the darkest times in American history. Law enforcement,
firefighter, paramedics and civilians alike reached out to help at this horrific scene, many losing their lives that day. Among the officers lost was Lisa Marie’s mentor, a man she would never forget and looked up to with great honor and respect. “The world lost a great man that day, great people, that day, but their memories and sacrifices will live on forever.” In remembering 9/11, Lisa Marie shares that she spent 16-hour shifts working side by side with her law enforcement partners earning the respect from these “tougher than nails” men as they treated her like one of the guys. “I had to send out law enforcement teams to sift
Soon after, Lisa Marie found herself at the emotional crossroad of having to choose between anger and forgiveness. If anger was to be the choice, then it was going to consume her, and others who were different were going to be the enemy. If she took the road less traveled and chose forgiveness then she was going to have to find it in her heart to forgive and accept that although humans may make horrible decisions, but that deep inside they also had good in them and that sometimes their choices are not necessarily a reflect of who they are. “That was a really interesting time for me, I remember being in my apartment and thinking about my choices and making the conscious decision to forgive.”
through the rubble to look for remains. The world was grieving. I spent months having to send employees to funerals to support the families of those
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who had fallen. It was a very difficult time in our nation.” One does not come out of such a horrific ordeal unscathed.
That was a major turning point for her as she fought for her belief that every tragedy can be turned into a triumph, that every challenge can be turned into a blessing. It was because of her profession that she was committed to justice and protection, and her strong belief in mercy; which is extending forgiveness to others who have shown they’re less than desirable side, that helped her to put her heart at ease in choosing forgiveness over anger.
It was a year and a half after 9/11 when Lisa Marie found herself engaged to be married, re-evaluating her life, her commitment to herself, and her career. Contemplating leaving the law enforcement field, and evaluating what her next adventure would be, leadership development seemed to be a natural fit, as she was involved in leadership training for years teaching and mentoring newly promoted supervisors at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center. She also took great pride in developing and teaching leadership curriculum post 9-11 for new supervisors and managers at the Leadership Development Center for the
Department of Homeland Security. But what was most important for Lisa Marie in making this decision was her relationships with family, being there for friends, growing in her faith and asking the tough question, was this job going to bring her closer to how she wanted to live her life and the answer was “no.” After much contemplation, Lisa Marie left the force with her pride intact, once known as “Hair and Nails” now remembered as “Mary Fin Sunshine.” “What I learned from my years in law enforcement was that you can do anything you want
without compromising who you are. While I began my career with a small-town naiveté and there were days when I was unsure of myself, I learned how to be strong, stand up for what I wanted, how to work well with others and how to trust my gut to the point where I now have a built-in “no B.S” meter. You can do anything you want without compromising who you are.”
“Leaders aren’t born: They’re made. And, they’re made like anything else, through hard work.”
– Vince Lombardi
The World Is Made For Those Who Learn How To Stand Out, Not Fit In
Although working in a maledominated industry had its challenges, learning to communicate in a bold and confident way would prove to serve her in her next step. In 2005, Lisa Marie made the decision to re-invent herself and began speaking and coaching around the world, delivering high-energy presentations. It was that leadership work that she experienced in law enforcement that prompted her to take the lead in helping to coach multimillion dollar entrepreneurs, start-ups, seasoned executives, and non-profit leaders. Aside from 9/11, what was your
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“When I trust God to lead in my business, miracles happen and things work out better than I envisioned. When I try to do it without His help, I am often frazzled or a hot mess.” – Lisa Marie Platske most challenging moment or life’s hidden blessing? “It was in learning the value of connection and positioning,” she replies. “I remember having to learn this the hard way. In the law enforcement field, I had to take an interpersonal skill assessment where they rated me on listening skills, emotional connection, and verbal communication. I’m sure you can image my shock when I found out that I scored a zero on the test. You can’t get much lower than a zero, it
was a pretty traumatic time for me. When asking what a zero meant, the trainer announced in front of a room full of people that basically it meant that when Lisa Marie invites you to her house for a party, she really doesn’t want you there but will do it because she has to. I was devastated! That was the beginning of the process of selfdiscovery. I didn’t feel that way, and now I had to change that perception and I did.” In believing that everything is a blessing, that experience
allowed Lisa Marie to open up to attract the right circumstances in her life.
“It was actually my husband who coined the phrase ‘Upside Thinking’. You are where you choose to be. Upside Thinking is about the power of choice and the importance of making decisions with intention. Choosing the upside of situations despite the swirl of everything going on around us is always a choice we have to make.” Lisa Marie shares. “Upside Thinking started out as a philosophy but quickly turned into a way of being. When you choose upside, you choose to find the blessing or the silver lining in all situations. And, although there are times when you may not be able to see it, there is always an upside to everything.” Lisa Marie has a thriving business and is living a life that she now says “yes” to every day. She sees her clients as her family and takes every opportunity to show them that they are valued, appreciated, and loved. While she is an awardwinning leadership and business coach, she wants her client’s entire life to work, not just their business or career. It’s not often that you find a business coach who truly wants her clients to live a better life than the one she created for herself, and that’s a pretty incredible life.
“Embracing your upside leadership means that you are in a state of trusting that everything in the Universe is conspiring for your greatest good.” – Lisa Marie Platske “I have studied the art of positioning for over a decade and I absolutely LOVE teaching people what to say, who to say it to, when to say it, and why to say it so that you authentically connect with others. Too often people can’t figure out why what they are doing isn’t working and why they are missing out on attracting big opportunities.” Lisa Marie believes that everyone has an innate genius and yet so many times it is covered up with many masks. Connect with ease; positioning yourself as an expert and doing it without having to change who they are is what Lisa Marie teaches. Each year Lisa Marie has an event that she shares with the public, Design Your Destiny Live (www.DesignYourDestinyLive. com). Now, in her 10th year, this 3-day event in southern California allows attendees to craft an effective success plan for their upcoming year. Held in Manhattan Beach at the end of January, they work as a community sharing resources
with each other, mapping out priorities, and diving deep into Lisa Marie’s seven pillars of leadership. Lisa Marie ensures that everyone leaves the event with clear actions to take when they get back to work on Monday morning. And, most importantly, that they get to create a customized plan without having to change who they are. “I have people who come year after year after year. It’s really a special experience where we welcome new attendees into the Design Your Destiny family.” What is your best advice for living your authentic life? “There’s a saying that I use all the time, and that is….. the world needs you and your brilliance. What that means is the world needs you exactly as you are and when you step into that, the people who need you most get the best of who you are. And lastly, learning to ride the waves of life will take you to places you could have never dreamt possible.“
“I don’t claim to be perfect but I am perfect in my imperfection.” – Lisa Marie Platske
http://upsidethinking.com eydisauthenticliving.com 25
GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT by Liz Bull
ebruary always makes me think of ski holidays, crackling fires, hot chocolate, mulled wine and candlelight suppers. The short days make me want to light all the candles in the house. And my mind turns to this month’s topic- LOVE! Did you know that food is our first experience of love? YES! Our first notion of “love” starts with mother’s milk. And it informs our preference for sweet things. It symbolizes comfort and being cared for...being loved. Being fed (especially with sweet things) is enmeshed with being loved. We are hard-wired that way. Love can also mean “LOTS”.... the security of knowing that there is plenty and we will get our needs met. Several of my clients grew up neglected...they never got proper meals. So,
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piling their plates high made them feel more safe and secure. A plate with smaller portions made them feel sad and unloved. Bringing this to their awareness allowed them to move past it. They were looking for love in the wrong place. I have found that most of my clients have been using food to try to meet this most basic of human needs. The problem is that food can never satisfy a hunger which is not physical. So, how DO you get the love you want? I am a fan of Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt’s work. They wrote “Getting The Love You Want”, an excellent and practical guide to getting your emotional needs met and feeling loved every day. Here’s the link for more info: www. harvilleandhelen.com/
And Dr. Gary Chapman’s wonderful book on Love Languages. Unhappiness in marriage/ relationships, believes Chapman, often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five emotional love languages... five kinds of things that speak to us...that make us feel loved... that we use to express our love: • Acts of Service • Physical Touch • Words of Affirmation
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• Receiving Gifts • Quality Time Each of us speaks a different love language...and you may have a primary and secondary: For example, I like hugs and I like kisses, but what I love, is help with the dishes! So, the primary Love Language here would be acts of service and the secondary would be physical touch. The trick is to get in touch with your own preferred languages: the ones you like to receive and the ones you prefer to give.
For example, you may prefer to receive acts of service but love to give gifts to express your love to someone else. Mark Twain once commented that he could live for two months on a good compliment. Clearly, his Love Language was Words of Affirmation. The next step is to find out what Love Languages your sweetie speaks and responds to. This is also an important thing to know about other people you care about... including co-workers or friends. Why is this important? When there is a mismatch of languages, the result is
if she would be pleased with his gift. His motto was “happy wife, happy life”, so this really worked well for him. Nothing pleased him more than to see her face light up when she opened his gifts...and how she responded by speaking his love language of physical touch. It was a win-win. If you are of the mindset that your loved ones should just “know” what you would like... please stop for a moment and reconsider. While there are people with extraordinary psychic abilities, most of us are not very good mind readers. Take a few minutes to take the Love Languages test. Find out how easy it can be to get the love you really want. sadness, disappointment and frustration...for everyone concerned. If for example, you knock yourself out finding the perfect gift for your dearest, only to be met with a lukewarm response, the chances are that receiving gifts is NOT their language. They may have been thrilled to simply snuggle on the couch and watch a movie with you (quality time)....or perhaps an IOU to take the car in for service or detailing (acts of service). Meanwhile, of course, you feel upset that you spent so much effort for so little appreciation. The important lesson here is to not assume that you know your beloved’s language. They may not be aware of it themselves. Give yourself the gift of finding out...before Valentine’s Day.
Dr. Chapman has a handy on-line tool for this. Here’s the link: www.5lovelanguages.com/ profile Lastly be sure to communicate your profile to your sweetie. If you are in anticipation of a heart-shaped box filled with delectable, sweet chocolates... to make you feel cared for, loved and special...for heaven’s sake, let them know! They’ll be glad you did. I have a friend who used to tape pictures of what she wanted on the mirror in the bathroom she shared with her husband. One day he shared with me how grateful he was that she did this. Why? Because it meant that he would always score a home run with her. He never had to worry if he was getting the “right” thing...or
Liz Bull helps women (and brave men!) who are fed up with weight loss programs that don’t work to finally get a body and a life they love. She is dedicated to busting up the myths, misconceptions and misinformation about obesity. With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mind-set work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families. www.lizbull.com eydisauthenticliving.com 31
TEEN ADVOCATE, KYLE PRUE, SPARKS LITERACY After visiting over 70 schools and inspiring more than 60,000 students, Kyle Prue is re-releasing his award-winning book The Sparks just ahead of book tour to promote literacy in at-risk teens. by Sari Cicurel
yle Prue began writing the Feud Trilogy at just 16 years old. Now a freshman at the University of Michigan, Prue is the Award-Winning Author of The Sparks. During the books first launch, The Sparks won numerous national and international awards for Best YA Fiction including: state and national awards from the Florida Authors and Publishers Association, the Florida Book Festival, the New England Book Festival, Midwest Book Festival, Southern California Book Festival, and the International London Book Festival. Prue also won International Moonbeam and IndieFab awards for Best Young Author. Prue is rereleasing an updated version of The Sparks with a stunning new cover and additional content.
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(Print and ebook release date: January 31, followed by audiobook February 28, 2017). “As a child, I lived in a fantasy world all the time—I was always inventing stories and reenacting fantasy,” expressed Prue. “I lived in costumes. I had a cat suit that I particularly loved. My mom would always get me a new costume for Halloween and inevitably I would end up back in my cat suit when it was time to go trick-or-treating.” The Sparks takes place in the city of Altryon, where three families ordained with superpowers have been feuding for centuries. The Vapros can teleport and turn their enemies to ash, the Celerius have super speed and the ability to heal from any wound, and the Taurlum have skin like steel and godlike strength. The story follows Neil Vapros as he attempts to become an assassin to please his overbearing father. After failing his first mission, Neil learns that a sinister new
force has awakened. This mysterious new power threatens to shatter the established order and the lives of everyone in Altryon--regardless of their family name or allegiance. With action and adventure, Prue weaves a story that USA Today calls “otherworldly and relatable. “ Prue, currently an acting major at the University of Michigan, decided to defer his first year of college to finish the next two books of The Feud Trilogy, The Flames (print release date: April 25, 2017) and The Ashes (release TBD). During his year on tour, Prue ran into an unexpected series of events that would ultimately change his life and the lives of the kids he touched in the process. The entire book is based on a family feud so that was the reason for the series name, Feud. But the individual titles are The Sparks, The Flames
and The Ashes; these are symbolic of the Vapros family motto which is “Victory Lies Within the Ashes.” The Vapros turn a person to ash when they kill them. For them that is a macabre way of saying, “You have to bust a couple of heads to get what you want.” The titles reveal that there is going to be a lot of bloodshed and a climax to this storyline, which we are building up to in the series. “A media specialist at a local middle school asked me to speak to three classes of at risk students.” shared Kyle. “At the time I was a high school senior in Naples, Florida and had just published The Sparks. The teens were at risk of dropping out of school and some were even at risk of suicide. They were struggling readers and many had never read a book. I spoke with them about some of my middle school struggles, about how writing was an escape for me, eydisauthenticliving.com 33
Literacy is simple; inspiring teens to read, write and follow their dreams. Sparkling Literacy is doing this by hosting events in schools with authors of young adult books that appeal to teens. The organization is working with teachers to find creative ways to use these books so teens are excited to read for class. Author’s books are donated or subsidized so that teens who struggle with reading have a copy of the book while they are inspired to read. We are also sponsoring badly needed audio books as they are a great tool to help teens with learning difficulties to learn to read and better understand the material. In addition, we are starting Sparking Literacy book clubs in schools to encourage teens to keep reading. and my inspiration for writing The Sparks. Each student also received a free copy of the book. As a result, something powerful happened at that visit. Unexpectedly I started getting calls and emails from teachers and parents. The kids devoured the book, some started a book club and one even started writing his own book.” At that point Kyle realized he had a chance to make a difference. He founded a nonprofit, sparkingliteracy.org, Sparking Literacy, to pair author visits with book donations for at-risk and underserved students. Thus, far the effort has been a huge success visiting 70 schools and inspiring 60,000 34 | Eydis Magazine
students. Prue is heading back on tour to continue his work to inspire teens to read, write and follow their dreams. He began to working to have numerous events with Beyond Basics and City Year in the Detroit Public Schools as well as many schools in southwest Florida. Nearly a third of students in Detroit’s public schools drop out. The consequences are real: students who drop out are eight times more likely to become incarcerated and three times more likely to be unemployed. When a student drops out of school it has a lasting effect on our communities. - City Year Detroit The mission of Sparking
To learn more about Kyle Prue, visit his website at www.kyleprue.com
Sari Cicurel is an a ward-winning video producer, publicist with proven track record in written communications for creating local and national news and feature stories, raising the visibility of my clients through the development and execution of strategic media and community relations programs and initiatives. Working with all media - Print, TV, Radio and all social media platforms. My company will execute media relations plans, fundraising programs, publications, special events with a proven ability to build non-profit and corporate marketing campaigns, and web content.
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FOR MORE INFORMATION AND WAYS TO HELP GO TO 36 | Eydis Magazine STCLAIRBUTTERFLYFOUNDATION.ORG
C.H.A.N.G.E. Creating Hope and Awareness and Nurturing Growth through Empowerment The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation was founded to inspire a movement of C.H.A.N.G.E. by providing all children and youths with the tools to overcome any adversity and help them to realize their full potential to soar! Based in Oakland County Michigan, this nonprofit organization offers: Community Outreach Programs Creative Art Programs Scholarship Programs Legislative Initiatives Your donation goes directly to helping kids find their voice The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation has successfully helped to change laws in several states to better protect children.
Each year 1-in-4 girls and 1-in-6 boys are victims of abuse. Letâ€™s help these children find their voice. Founded in 2007 by Chip and Lisa St. Clair, and based on his bestselling memoir, The Butterfly Garden, the St. Clair Butterfly Foundation utilizes the power of creative arts, literature, and overall well-being to impact the lives of children facing adversity. Listen to Chip and Lisaâ€™s radio show: The Divine Frequency: Turning Your Passion Into Purpose Tuesday at 9:30 am Eastern Time on Empower Radio
Your donation gives the greatest gift to a child! 37 It shows that they are loved and that they deserveeydisauthenticliving.com to be heard.
ROMANCE YOUR INNER KNOWING
Donâ€™t leave everything to logic, capture some magic. by Wini Curley, Ph.D.
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fter traveling across the country for a job interview in a city where my husband and I really wanted to live, I was thrilled to accept the position. I loved the staff I would be working with, the work would be rewarding, and this company had a stellar reputation in my field. Even the salary was adequate to support us moving to this more expensive location. And yet, I had this little warning light flashing inside. When I met and shook hands with my soon to be boss, he said all the right things, and still my gut feeling was to beware. My intuition seemed to be giving me conflicting messages – ‘take this job, it will be great for your
career and family, AND beware of this guy who can greatly influence your future.’ What do you call that experience of having a sense of outcome or perception of options that are not purely based on observable fact or logic? I call it intuition or inner knowing. You may call it gut feeling, insight, or instinct. No matter the name, you know what I mean. I have yet to find someone who says they have never had this type of experience. In February we celebrate Valentine’s Day and relationships with loved ones. Have you ever considered developing a
relationship with a quality or skill you want to enhance for yourself? Whether you consider yourself to be intuitive or not, you can learn to develop your inner knowing. Use the suggestions below to develop this important resilience skill that can help reduce stress and frustration. Just like deepening your relationship with anyone or anything else, you can develop an intimacy and trust with your inner knowing by adding a little romance to the mix. What does romance mean to you? You may conjure visions of flowers, candy, poetry, quiet walks, or expensive restaurants. To me, all those outward activities
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represent three key expressions of heartfelt care – Attention, Appreciation, and Public Acknowledgement. You can use these same three techniques to romance your inner knowing and strengthen your relationship with that part of yourself. Attention. Something that always makes me feel valued in a relationship is getting some special attention. Offer your inner knowing some focused attention to help strengthen your relationship with this aspect of yourself. Notice when you get those twinges of knowing or flashes of insight about a situation or a person. Does it come to your more often around a particular topic, situation, or individual? For example, are you more intuitive
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about certain aspects of your work, or about what is happening with family members? Notice if there is a focus or specificity for your intuition to be activated. Just because your inner knowing isn’t happening all the time or in all situations, does not mean it isn’t real. Pay attention to what intuition feels like. Notice if you can tell the difference between intuition about a decision or action, and fear about it. Based on my own experience and working with coaching clients, here is a tip for how to tell the difference. Fear typically feels restrictive and often negative, heavy, or sad. In contrast, intuition or thoughts from your inner knowing tend to feel neutral
or positive and expansive, as if an opening is being created rather than a limitation or restriction being imposed. With some practice, you will be able to easily distinguish between fear and inner knowing. This is an important skill because sometimes fear and intuition show up together for a situation or a decision opportunity. My certainty about accepting the job opportunity was a combination of considering the facts and my inner knowing as I walked around my future office. It felt right and good to me. My intuition to beware of my new boss was followed immediately by a fear of how I could be harmed. I am very glad I could listen to my intuition and did not let that fear stop me.
Appreciation. Don’t stop at just noticing events when and where your gut instinct shows up. Express some gratitude for your inner knowing and how it benefits you. If you have a hunch about something and following through brings you some benefits, remember to take a moment to appreciate and celebrate the hunch along with the benefits. When my husband or girlfriend is appreciative of me for something I have said or done, it makes me feel cared for. Let your intuition know that it is appreciated, and it may begin to show up more often, and just when you need it! Public Acknowledgment. When couples get engaged or note being ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook, it is a public acknowledgment of a private commitment. Those actions elevate the status of the relationship because it is acknowledged beyond the partnership to others. Share with others what you are noticing and appreciating about connecting more deeply with your intuition and the benefits it brings you. Talking about it makes your experience real in your outer world as well as your inner world. Most of us want to see the magic happen in our real world, not just imagine it in our inner world. If you are shy about revealing what you are up to, you don’t have to share it with everyone at first. Select a person or two you can trust to support your private journey. As
your connection to your inner knowing becomes stronger, and the benefits clearer, you may begin to feel more relaxed about telling your story to others.
Additional searches had articles supporting the value of intuition in making medical decisions and diagnoses. There is more to our reality than just facts and logic when we allow it to be so.
Even with all the grief that boss caused me, I still think I made the right decision all those years ago. My expectations about what would be good about the position were delightfully exceeded, and the experience furthered my environmental consulting career in many ways. In addition, my inner knowing to beware of this boss was also right on. Since that time, I have learned to romance my inner knowing – to give it Attention, Appreciation, and Public Acknowledgement and to develop a deeper and more specific sense of what it is telling me. I wish I knew then what I know now about how to listen to and respond to my intuition. I would have been wiser about my long-term expectations for the relationship with this particular boss and company and saved myself some serious disappointment and frustration.
Could deepening your relationship with your inner knowing help you make better decisions? Perhaps this valuable tool could help ease your challenges with people management at home or at work. Accept the challenge this month, and consciously romance your inner knowing. Find out how much easier it becomes to accept that part of you and show it to others. As your insights expand and your self-trust deepens, you may be surprised at the magic that happens.
What would be the value to you of connecting more deeply to your inner knowing? When I Googled ‘business leaders and intuition’, I found a variety of respected sources including, Forbes, The Huffington Post, and Harvard Business Review that all reported intuition as a valuable tool for success in business and leadership.
Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, Consultant, and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations how to find their next win whether they are on a roll or in a hole. Over 10 years ago, she shifted from a 25-year scientific career determining cleanup needs to make environmental hazardous waste sites safe. Now she helps clients clean up toxic thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and practices that contaminate their path to success. Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. She teaches business professionals to connect their hearts, minds, and spirits so they can awaken innovation and experience deeper satisfaction with work and life. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business heal and flourish. Learn more about Wini and her programs at www.WiniCurley.com and www. GiftsFromWini.com
THE DEMONSTRATION by Elaine M. Grohman
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ave you ever wondered where the concept of “democracy” came from? We bandy the term about in conversation without looking deeper into its meaning and purpose. Many of our ancestors fled feudalism or dictatorships in their parent countries in order to live a life based upon freedom. And sadly, many were torn from their homes and lives against their will in order to be slaves for those who chose to create their own personal monarchies, enterprises, and wealth upon the backs of countless others. Seeking freedom, many people stepped into systems that had already been corrupted by the desire to control, own or rule areas of land they called their own. All systems are inherently flawed when they are built on the premise that someone must lose in order for others to win. Looking at the word “democracy” itself, we can easily see the word “demo,” which can mean to either demolish or to demonstrate. Perhaps we have looked at this word, democracy, without looking more deeply into its truest meaning. Democracy, in my mind, ought to mean demonstratable, workable action, and in that vein, more closely replicating a very important example of democracy that many people do not know about. It is called the ancient Medicine Wheel known as “The Circle of Law.”
law and were not able to cast a vote. They had one very important constant focus in the enactment of any law. No law was ever enacted if it did not protect the lives of Women and Children. For without the children, there would be no tribe going forward.
This was a proven, workable means of governance created by the Native People of the America’s, and those who shared this vital information were known as Flower Soldiers and Zero Chiefs. This working democracy was the template upon which our own democracy was fashioned. The problem is, however, that the most important components were ignored, that being the equal representation of both men and women. The Zero Chiefs taught that throughout the course of history, when “might takes right,” then an imbalance is created, leading to the rich enslaving their brothers and sisters in countless ways. It was understood that Balance, in every corner of Creation, is what has allowed Life to thrive. And as any good cook knows, if you change the ingredients, you change the recipe and the outcome. Have you ever considered why people who sit in positions of authority are called “Chiefs?”
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For instance, Chief of Staff, Chief Commanding Officer, Chief of this or that department. The term Chief has a direct correlation to those who sat in the Circle of Law, the Sixteen Chiefs never on opposite sides of the aisle, but rather facing one another and “Speaking Across the Fire” in a circle of unity. Each of the Cardinal Directions, North, South, East, and West, as well as the Northeast, Southeast, Southwest and Northwest positions, created the Circle, with each position looking towards the center, knowing that their singular purpose was to work for the whole. In the Center of the Circle sat four Presiding Chiefs, two men and two women, who had, over time, demonstrated their dedication to the welfare of the People. This is where our current form of selecting a President differs greatly from this important representative position. Within the Circle of Law, the Presiding Chiefs held veto power over any proposed
Sixteen Chiefs, eight men, and eight women would sit together in their honored positions, each pledging to represent the interest of their respective positions in the Circle and to listen to the thoughts and concerns of each Chief in order that only those Laws that were workable would be enacted. An Arrow was the symbol of a new law, with its point moving forward in a particular direction. If at any time the law appeared to be unworkable, or it did not work as intended, any Chief could call the Circle together, the Arrow would be broken in half, representing it being undone, so that a new and better law could be proposed, discussed and considered as a potential new Law. And from that beginning place of balance, each position holding a very sacred truth about our existence would aim to keep Power in Balance. We certainly have a lot to remember and relearn.
Elaine Grohman is a speaker, author, energy healer and angel reader. She has a private practice in Farmington, MI. For appointments please contact Lainie Rubio at 248.320.6532 or visit her website at www.elainegrohman.com
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REMEDIES FOR YOUR LIMITING HABITS by Dr. Kate Siner
abits are a “settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” Sounds like the antithesis of growth and development! No wonder they get in the way of taking your next steps and achieving your goals. This article addresses three common limiting habits: negative self-talk, fear, and disbelief, and suggests alternative behaviors that are more supportive of the success you desire. Negative self-talk: For whatever reason, many people try to motivate themselves through being critical and negative. Often, the critical voices we talk to ourselves with are actually echoes of criticism we have received from others in the past. Some people are already aware of these critical voices, but for others, these voices
are still hidden and need to be recognized in order to be dealt with. Regardless, if you have been resisting a change that you really know is best for you, chances are you are engaging in some type of negative self-talk. Fear: Inevitably, when people are attempting to change their lives, they hit a wall of fear. When asked about it, they say things like: “I am afraid that I will be alone for the rest of my life,” or “What I want comes at too high of a price.” Remember, fear is a normal response to change. Instead of thinking that fear is a sign that you are doing something wrong, try finding ways of acknowledging your fears and persisting in the face of them. Disbelief: I am sure you have heard the expression that success is a habit. Well, it is eydisauthenticliving.com 47
accurate. Some of us were fortunate enough to learn the habit as we grew up; some of us learned it, but only in certain areas of our lives, and some of us just did not get the information we need to thrive. But success, in whatever way you see it, does not need to be elusive anymore. With the right information and the right support, you can have the life you have most deeply wanted. Believe in your ability and your success. Try the following behaviors as a substitution for these limiting habits: 1. Reward yourself for your daily accomplishments rather than beating yourself up about the places where you have fallen short of your goals. 2. Be more objective with your 48 | Eydis Magazine
criticism. Pretend that you are giving advice to a dear friend. 3. Look for the positive. If voices, inside or outside, are telling you your dream is not possible, look for people or situations that prove the naysayers wrong. 4. Gather support. You do not have to do it alone. Find the people in your life who are able to be supportive of you and your goal and tell them how you are feeling. 5. Take small steps. Make your next action so easy that even your strongest limiting habits canâ€™t stop you. Small steps lead to big ones. It is better to take a close look at your limiting habits than to blindly try to push them away.
Your negative thoughts and feelings are powerful doorways to deeply understanding yourself and developing selfcompassion. When done in a healthy way, paying attention to your limiting habits can be a key to your transformation. Dr. Kate Siner is an award-winning Entrepreneurial and Personal Development mentor, speaker, author, and radio show host. Kate has a PhD in Psychology and years of both clinical and coaching experience. Her passion is to help people move past whatever holds them back so that they may embrace all they can be. Kate has developed a series of successful, personal development programs, newest of which is LifeWork Virtual. Learn more at www.katesiner.com or contact firstname.lastname@example.org.
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CATAPULT ENTREPRENEUR SUCCESS IN 2017 THROUGH
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by Charmaine Hammond
enry Ford said, “Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success.” Those entrepreneurs who have learned to collaborate and do this well are on the path to success. Most entrepreneurs have experienced some form of collaboration on different projects or business endeavors, having some favorable experiences….as well as those painful experiences of “collaboration gone wrong.” Collaboration takes time, focus, a common vision and plan, commitment and a willingness to expand your vision of what’s possible. It is not simply coming together to work on a project with other people. Collaboration requires an element of relationship and trust building, agreements on how issues will be managed, and, the ongoing care and nurturing of the collaborative relationship. In some ways, collaboration is similar to planning a major adventure or holiday. In order to plan your journey you must have an idea of the destination, who will join you and the role that person will assume in the planning, what you plan to do eydisauthenticliving.com 51
while on the journey, how you will fund the adventure, backup plans and a what you will need to bring with you on this trip. Collaborations in business involve the same steps and thinking processes.
you have just completed and use these 4 powerful questions to guide your evaluation.
Enhance communication and connections through Collaboration.
4. What will you do differently?
One way to build meaningful collaboration is to do a Review and Learn at the end of your project and collaborative endeavors. The process helps you evaluate the collaborative experience and the results. To do a Review and Learn Process, think about a collaboration that
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1. What went well? 2. What was a challenge? 3. What did you learn?
There are many ways that collaboration can help entrepreneurs catapult their success and results in 2017, here are a few to help you make 2017 your best business year ever: Build your reach and influence through online collaborations. When you are a champion for others, and, collaborate with other entrepreneurs and strategy partners bring their
reach and influence to the collaboration. Social media provides you a powerful platform to be a champion for influencers, their causes, and business projects. My colleague Teresa de Grosbois in an expert in mass influence, in fact, wrote an international bestselling book Mass Influence, on this very topic. She reminds entrepreneurs to â€œbuild the relationship before making the ask. Asking before a relationship is built is similar to moving into a new home and asking the neighbor to babysit your children or asking to use their lawnmower before you have taken the time to meet them. Start by introducing yourself, and take the time to build the relationship from there.â€? As an expert in conflict
direct result of unclear communication, assumptions that were never clarified, not taking the time to build the relationship, not having an agreement that summarized the details of the collaboration, and, not taking the time to review the collaboration as it proceeded.
resolution and collaboration, I know that mothering turns off a potential collaborator than the “premature ask”. Build the relationship first.
At the root of every successful collaboration is effective communication. We have all been exposed to collaborations that start off great and fall apart because of conflict, miscommunication, misunderstandings or the absolute absence of
communication. When beginning a collaborative approach with other entrepreneurs take the time to develop clarity around the vision and expected results for the collaboration. Clearly, outline each party’s role and expectations. Summarizing agreements of how the collaboration will work into a Collaboration Agreement will support the relationship and the results, especially if things go sideways. As a former mediator, I facilitated the resolution of many conflicts and breakdowns in partnerships and collaborations. I saw that most of these conflicts were the
Charmaine Hammond, Teresa de Grosbois, and Joseph Ranseth have collaborated to host the Global Influence Summit in Florida February 8-10, 2017. www.globalinfluencesummit.com The Global Influence Summit is a perfect example of collaboration and offers training on how to collaborate to turn impact into action. As you step into 2017 make collaboration a priority and foundation for your business success model. Charmaine is an expert in team building, communication and leadership. Bring the power of change to your next corporate event, training program or conference by booking Charmaine as a speaker. E- email@example.com www.charmainehammond.com www.TheOriginalTeamToby.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/ hammondgroupbiz Linked In: http://www.linkedin.com/in/ charmainehammond
FROM VICTIM by Charlene Mitchell-Rodgers
ari Dixon, 44 and mother of one, has not had an easy life. Her journey has been both painful and challenging. With all of the adversity she has experienced, Tari remains a light of hope for those who gave experience tragedy in their lives. It began for Tari in 1985 when visiting her Aunt. What started off promising to be a fun day playing with her cousins, ended in terror, which haunts her today. It was her Aunts boyfriend who raped Tari for three consecutive days, while the others were locked in the basement, her Aunt nowhere to be found. â€œLooking back on it now, it seems like a bad nightmare, but it is real.â€? Shares Tari. Like many victims, Tari tried to suppress her memories and block out the sound of her voice in dreams. She remembers being threatened that if she told, he would deny it as no
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one would believe her. And deny he did. Thirty-two years later, the emotional scars are as present as the day they happened, but Tari refuses to be a victim. “I’m a survivor, and I refuse to let what happened to me define who I am!” she shares with me over lunch. Recalling the vicious incidents, Tari often pauses to take a deep breath, then smiles as she continues to tell her story. She is a strong woman whose childhood innocence was exploited and stripped from her. Adding to the emotional pain and psychological confusion, the man she accused of rape was acquitted in court. Her Aunt testified that she and the other children were never alone in the house him and accused Tari lying. Records from Children’s Hospital in Detroit did show that a sexual act had occurred, but it was never clear whether any DNA samples were taken. It was a different time back then and rape kits were not available. Frightened and confused, Tari’s mother did not want to subject her daughter to testifying in court. Putting her daughter on the stand would mean reliving the ordeal and thought it would be too much for Tari to have to see her accuser. In making that decision, her mother felt there was sufficient evidence to convict, but she was wrong.
There was nothing anyone could do to change it. The man accused of raping Tari walked free after a jury found him not guilty based on lack of sufficient evidence. As you can imagine, this horrific occurrence had a profound impact on Tari’s teen years into adulthood. “It caused me to behave with a victim’s mindset, engaging in negative behaviors with men and women. I allowed people to physically and mentally abuse me. My self-worth was nothing. It took years of intense therapy, counseling and family support to help me cope.” She continues to experience occasional flashbacks that remind her of that frightful and
detestable weekend at her aunt’s home on Archdale Street on Detroit’s West side, know as the house of horrors. “I deliberately go out of my way to never to go near that neighborhood. I’m not even sure if the house is still there; if it is, I never want to see it”. Tari is an activist for tougher punishments for rapists, and she feels that parents must be much more vigilant in noticing signs of possible sexual abuse of their children. “The advice I give, honestly, is that you really have to have a solid relationship with your children and always communicate, cultivate and educate them on what’s proper or improper touching eydisauthenticliving.com 55
and language. It can be very uncomfortable to talk about who is allowed to help them in the bathroom, but it is essential so that children know and understand they have someone that will protect them even if it is the other parent who is the molester.” To the surprise of many of her relatives, Tari has forgiven
her Aunt, although the two purposely rarely see each other. It’s important to note that forgiveness does not mean you have to have them vigilantly in your life. “My aunt is still in a state of denial and she won’t be truthful with herself. She is bitter and refuses to admit what happened at the hands of her boyfriend. I had to
forgive her in order to free myself from the stigma and the pain. Forgiveness is freedom for me.” As Tari moved on with her life hoping to find love and security, she was blessed with a beautiful son, Phillip. Repeating the pattern, which so often happens, she found herself subject to physical abuse at the hands of her son’s father. Not being married, Tari found the strength to release herself and her son from that situation, knowing that she and her baby deserved more. “I went back into my survivor mode. I refused to be a victim.” In 2013 another act of violence shook Tari to her core. It was the worst thing a parent could imagine. Her 22-year-old son was murdered by a street thug over his iPhone, a senseless crime that robbed her of her only child and crushed her inner soul. Tari is also the mother of a 21 year-old daughter, Diamond, who is currently a college student and business owner.
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“It was GOD that got me through this terrible ordeal and it is GOD who will help me to be strong.” Tari’s faith is unwavering. Today she fights back; Tari is the founder of a non-profit organization, Mothers Making a Difference. Her foundation assists families who have lost a child or other loved one to violence. She has taken her inner tragedies and has pointed it outward to help others to find the strength they need to thrive. Her son left behind a beautiful baby daughter who is now 4 years old and loves playing the piano. She refers to Tari as Mom, and a legal adoption process is underway. Tari Dixon is a woman who refuses to give up. She has a zest for life and seldom complains. She is a successful entrepreneur running a tax preparation service, who also runs a holiday decorating business. Her clients include several businesses as well as dozens of families who pay her to create elaborate holiday and special event décor.
“I don’t mind climbing up a ladder to put outdoor lights on houses. I have decorated Christmas trees that are 20 feet tall. It’s like therapy for me. I love making my clients happy with lots of glitz, sparkle and bright colors!” Adding to the list of unfortunate circumstances in the life of Tari Dixon, in 2016 she noticed a pain in her right hand, which was scared from an old wound. Through a biopsy, it was confirmed as cancer. She is recovering from recent hand surgery, and her prognosis is good. “ I am a firm believer that God only gives us as much as we can handle, I many not like that God made me so strong but one thing I know for sure is; I’ve got this!” Tari has been featured on several radio talk shows as she calls attention to violence, particularly the issue of rape. She is deeply troubled by
the fact that many rapes are unreported and hopes to change this. 2017 promises to be a wonderful year and Tari vows to have a voice heard on a local and national level. She is in touch with the Wayne County Michigan Prosecutor’s office with the fundraising effort to get hundreds of untested rape kits into the lab. She has also considered reaching out to legislators to strengthen punishments for convicted rapists. “I hope is to encourage all victims of rape and other acts of violence to stand up and have a voice, there is no need to live in silence or shame, there are people who will support you, and when you help yourself, you help others. Together we stand!” Charlene Mitchell-Rodgers Media Consultants Advertising Marketing Public Relations 248.789-0675 www.getmediaconsultants.com eydisauthenticliving.com 57
SURVIVING PARTIES AS AN
by Mella Barnes
wrote briefly about this topic in my blog for Eydis Online, but I wanted to share some tips with my fellow introverts about attending parties. I’ve been dragged to enough of them (and forced myself into a few) so that I’ve learned quite a bit about how to survive, and even how to have a good time!
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Step 1: Look Fabulous This can be whatever you feel defines “fabulous,” but the fact is when you look great, you feel great. If you’ve ever under-dressed for a party, you know how much you want to disappear into the wallpaper. Introverts already want to disappear, so don’t allow it! Wear that suit, those heels,
whatever you need to give yourself that confidence boost. While you’re getting ready, listen to the type of music that will most likely be at the party. This will help you get into the right mood for the event. Step 2: Do Some Research Introverts hate small talk (if one more person comments
gross), or they haven’t heard of it and now you can school them with your glow-in-the-dark drink knowledge.
about the weather, I may literally scream). We also hate the deadly silence that appears after the small talk ends. Before you head to the event, browse the news. Any new scientific discoveries? A new local bar opening? More Kardashian hijinx? Whatever you find interesting to get the ball rolling, find a few great
news stories and commit the broad topic to memory. You’ll never be left silent again! As soon as there is a lull in the conversation, you can say, “So did you guys hear about the new glow-in-the-dark beer that was invented?” Either they have heard of it and you can discuss if you think it will be good (it won’t because beer is
Step 3: Choose News Carefully When looking for topics, it should go without saying to avoid sensitive subjects like politics or religion. I would also add, for introverts, to avoid topics you feel especially passionate about. We tend to feel things deeply and take things personally. Let’s say you found out about a new animal rights law, and you happen to love animals and own two dogs and a rabbit and would literally die for them because they are the best and cutest. Let’s say you bring up the news about the law, and someone exclaims, “how stupid! Animals are not as important as people, what a waste of the taxpayers’ money!” Now you’ve opened a wound and will likely shut down pretty quickly (not that I’m speaking from experience or anything…) You want the news to be interesting and funny, and most of all lighthearted. If you’re especially passionate about something, save that news for people you already know and trust. Step 4: Minimize Stress If getting lost, arriving late or being unprepared stresses you out, don’t let those things happen! This starts the whole event off on a bad note, and you want nothing to stand in the way of having a nice time. Drive there the day before, arrive early, eydisauthenticliving.com 61
to the bathroom as you need (unless you’re at a house party and there is only one bathroom, in which case PLEASE get out of the bathroom because we all would like to pee some time as well). Go out to your car “to look for something,” go outside for fresh air, whatever intervals you need to take to recharge.
whatever you need to do in order to walk in like you own the place. Step 5: Sit Next to the Extrovert I actually purposely chose my high school best friend this way. She was loud, boisterous, and the class clown. I was bookish, awkward and silent. I purposely sat next to her all the time, and because she was so extroverted, she spoke to me and got to know me. She also pulled a bravery out of me and allowed me to show more of my personality. We are still close friends to this day. Try this method, it works! Notice the loudest people in the room. Place yourself near them. Either they will attempt to interact with you, or simply being around them will make you smile and laugh, and you’ll suddenly be in the circle without realizing it. Step 6: Shine When You Can We all have topics we’re an expert in. It may be knitting, football, animals, or knitting football uniforms for animals. When the conversation starts 62 | Eydis Magazine
drifting toward your area of expertise, SIEZE IT and shine. Have photos on your phone to share. Have stories committed to memory. This is when the room will get to know the real you. I was at a party and someone mentioned adopting a dog. I was suddenly the extrovert, sharing photos of fosters, giving advice on adoption, telling funny (not sad!) rescue stories. When the conversation shifted, I now felt comfortable joining in because I had contributed so much to the previous one. If your area of expertise is rarely mentioned at parties, see if you can get a friend to steer the conversation your way. Plan it out in advance, such as, “Say, did anyone catch the big game? Boy, I sure wish there was someone out there who knitted football uniforms for animals!” and then you’re in. Step 7: Know Your Limits Can’t handle more than a few hours at a party? Plan an exit beforehand. Announce it when you arrive. Take as many trips
“Know Your Limits” also applies to alcohol. If a glass of wine helps you unwind and talk to people, go for it! If a bottle makes you throw up on the host and fall down the stairs, cut yourself off at one drink. Step 8: Reward Yourself You went to a party! You spoke to people! This is awesome and you totally deserve to celebrate. Binge watch a show and stay in bed all day the next day because being true to your introvert self is the best reward after a hard night of partying. Hopefully, these tips will help you have a fun time at your next event! I’d love to know if they work for you and if you have any tips of your own. I can always use new ideas!
Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville, Tennessee. Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit www.mellamusic.com
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Connecting You With You
CREATE AMAZING RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR SELF & OTHERS! by Amanda Butler
id you know the key to creating amazing relationships outside of your Self … with a Beloved, family, friends, co-workers is to have an amazing relationship with your Self? Most of us were taught to look
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outside of ourselves to find love, happiness, fulfillment, contentment and peace through someone else. But the reality is you have to develop it within your Self in order to have it with another. This means being responsible
and accountable for your own love, happiness, fulfillment, contentment and peace. You’re the cake! You are all the ingredients of your cake … of who you are and what you create in life. At the core, you
with your Self (and let your Self down off the cross and love your Self no matter who or what). This month, take the time to reach in to envision and feel what you would like to create within your Self and in your outer relationships. Understand that the vibration of “relationship” will permeate any relationship. It doesn’t change if it’s with your Self, a Beloved, a family member, a friend, a co-worker or business partner because …
Every Relationship is Any Relationship and Any Relationship is Every Relationship! Envisioning your amazing relationship is super important! As you stay True to what and who you really want, it sorts out people and situations that no longer serve or work for you, BUT most importantly, it attracts and magnetizes the relationships and people you DO want.
are love even if you don’t feel it in this moment about your Self, your significant other or others. What is amazing, you can always Consciously Choose to come back to your core … your Soul’s Essence which is love. In this month of February, which is all about love, you have the
opportunity to “fall in love” with your Self! You can Choose to fall deeper in love with who you are (even if there are messy things that you don’t like about your Self). You can Choose to accept who you are (and work on the parts of you that you don’t want or no longer works for you). You can Choose to have compassion
A way to do this is to create a list. If you’re unsure, create two columns side by side on your paper. On the left side, list what you don’t like, what you don’t want, or what doesn’t work for you and on the right hand side, list the opposite. Don’t worry about ‘how’ you’re going to achieve it, especially if you’ve never felt that way before, or experienced what you’re writing.
or every week and every month until it becomes visceral to you. And until you integrate it on all levels of your ‘BE’-ing … emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. Your vision will not waver unless you doubt your Self, or not believe in the magic of love and the Universe, or have the fear of creating and having love and amazing relationships in your life. You may not feel you’re worthy and deserve the love and possibilities your vision holds. That’s okay. This just shows you where the ‘work’ is needed and at times where you may go off course because you ‘forgot’ your vision and dreams.
Compassion ©2015 Keenawah & Associates, LLC
Compassion from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ The Universal Energy Form of Compassion from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ provides the energetic vibrations to help you activate your Soul Codes of Destiny and Success. This sacred geometry technology can help you access the energies of Compassion = Compass + Passion + Pass so you can love, honor and respect your Self and others even MORE regardless of the past. It opens the pathway to create MORE acceptance, compassion, and love within your Self and others as you align with your Soul’s Essence and the Universe’s Highest Potential which is held for you.
This list is not like a grocery list. When you get more clarity about the above, then take the list and construct it more like a story to incorporate a feeling tone, a vibration, a tapestry of the vision. How do you feel when you love and accept your Self? How does it feel to have someone in your life that you love and adore, and they love and adore you? How 66 | Eydis Magazine
does it feel to feel worthy and deserving to have it all? The story weaves an energetic vibration throughout you and creates a force field, if you will, that attracts and repels what you desire. It is also an energetic stand you take within your own energy fields. It is something that you go back and read over and over every day
And all begins with you FIRST. Whatever you wrote down has to become a part of you. You cannot expect someone to love you if you don’t love your Self. Or to accept, honor and respect your Self, or if you don’t do that for and with your Self. If you think that’s not true, then look at how you feel about your Self and what and how your relationships are reflecting back to you. I too had to learn and grow into the kind of relationship I wanted with my Self and others. I healed my past wounds, pain and patterns so I could love and accept my Self free of conditions. And yes, there were (and still sometimes are) things I didn’t like about my Self at one time, or there are things I say or do and wish I hadn’t. BUT I thoroughly understand my Self and when things go awry, I
figure out why. I have in-depth discussions and assessments with my Self. I ‘own’ what is occurring for me and I do not blame others or the ‘circumstances’. I take the actions necessary to get back on track with how I want to experience amazing relationships. I have learned how to have compassionate communication with my Self. I have learned how to let go of judgment (of my Self and others) and totally accept the good, bad and even the ugly. Why? Because I can always change that which I don’t like, want or doesn’t work for me. I have learned it doesn’t ‘mean’ anything about me, except that my energy or the energy I have created around me is out of alignment with who I Truly am, which is love. So I’ve said how important it is to have a vision of what an amazing relationship is, right? And if you don’t have that relationship within your Self, then you won’t have it with another, right? Well, I have a fun and amazing story to share with you! I actually did meet the love of my life 23 years ago. And due to a myriad of things such as my own co-dependency, fear of abandonment and worthiness issues, not the right timing as he was just coming out of a divorce, long distance, yada yada … we parted ways. It devastated me in ways that I didn’t know were even possible and it took me over ten years to heal. And there was never a relationship that felt the way it did with him when we were in love.
Well, I believed in love and amazing relationships. I have stood in this vibration for years and especially the last seven years. I staked a claim that is was possible and I was going to stay True to it. Yes, there were men who tried to come in, but whenever I felt into them and us, I always got a ‘no’. So I moved on and waited. Then, one morning at 5am, I looked at my Facebook page and friend invites and there he was inviting me to be his friend … the love of my life from 23 years ago. My heart skipped a beat. I took a deep breath and looked at his FB page. The first thing I noticed was he was single. The second thing he had a 17 year son. Understand, the last time I saw him was 20 years ago and he was getting married. Of course, back then I asked “why not me, why wasn’t I good enough for him to marry?” I accepted his friend request and thought I better message him to
let him know that I would love to connect and talk with him. And, as they say, the rest is history. The flood gates opened. My heart reignited the love and joy that was always there. My Soul guided me to trust and have faith in what was possible. And in doing so, he and I were able to complete and heal the past so we could move into the present and create the future that was always there for us. I actually shared with him my vision of the love and partnership I desired with another, which is, by the way, three pages long. He was blown away as to how much thought and feeling went into it. It is the energetic ‘space’ I’ve held in the etheric and energetically within my ‘BE’-ingness so I could magnetize him toward me. I didn’t know it would actually be him, but I did know throughout my whole ‘BE’-ing what I desired.
relationships that are possible and even probable when you believe in the magic of love! Let’s look at: Are you happy with the relationship you have with your Self? Are you happy in and with your relationships?
Our relationship is so much more than it could have ever been in the past. We both have gone through our own trials and tribulations, challenges and pain throughout the past 23 years, which has made us, appreciate each other and our love even more. We are creating the relationship that was meant to be. We both feel that the “loves of our lives” are back. We are re-awakened to what love can be and how it can be shared. We are getting married and starting a whole new chapter, or I should say adventure, journey and book in our lives. There is always a Divine Plan; you just have to believe no matter who or what! Fun story, right? So the vision and your belief in it are POWERFUL! Take this month of February, this Valentine’s Day and to create the amazing love and 68 | Eydis Magazine
Do the type of relationships you have work for you? What happens for you when you don’t have a significant other during this month of love … do you feel less than, or more empowered? Has your heart been broken due to hurt, disappointment or a relationship ending? Have you completely let go of it, or does the pain from the past bleed into any new or current relationship? Are you finally ‘sick and tired’ of feeling this way and ready to move on so you can create something new? Again, this is a perfect time to take a look at these questions. Remember, we are being supported energetically by the Universe to do our ‘work’,
to clean up the past, to create the future we desire. We are in the age of Aquarian which is about unification, cooperation, collaboration and co-creation so if you see your Self trying to go it alone or be the lone wolf, then trust me, the Universe will definitely call you out on it. It is no longer the time to say “I can do it my Self. I don’t need anyone.” Yes, we don’t need someone, but we certainly desire someone so we can share and connect with others. This applies to not only with a significant other, but also in family, in friendships, at work, in business and in every aspect of our lives. But most importantly, it is about being in connection and collaboration with your Self … not to separate from your Self, to abandon your Self, to disconnect from your Self. You can utilize this month to reconnect with your Self on a whole different level … to love your Self MORE, to accept your Self MORE, to honor and respect your Self MORE. Even if you have a good relationship with your Self, you can deepen and expand into the MORE. The Universe is infinite, and there is infinite love and opportunities! Do you try to keep your heart safe? Do you continually protect your Self from being hurt or disappointed? Have you built up walls so no one, including your Self, can’t get in? Do you have the equation: love = pain? If the answer is yes, to any of these then use February to “fall in love” again. I don’t mean
with another, but with your Self. Learn how to love again, to connect again, to communicate again with your Self. Instead of living in the past of what isn’t, or what could have been with the ‘what ifs’ on Valentine’s Day, choose to live in the present by creating a special day for your Self. Give your Self flowers, go out and do something fun, take a candle-lit bubble bath, cook your favorite meal, hug your Self, appreciate the beauty of who you are (even if there are things you want to change about your Self and your life). Love your Self up in ways that make you feel good. Let it be the day of love for you and you “falling in love” with you. You are the significant other!
“People often say that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.”
– Salma Hayek
A great book I recommend to clients is Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferrini. It helps you to look at love in a whole different way and opens the doorway once again to explore love and the ways you are love and ‘do’ love. Last Valentine’s Day, a dear friend of mine and I got together, enjoyed some wine together and created our vision boards of what we desired. We claimed our intentions to ONLY be with the one we desired and not to waste time or energy with relationships that weren’t energetically aligned with our vision. And guess what? This Valentine’s Day I will be sharing it with the love of my life. Hmmm … I say this creative process works! 1. I work with my clients to discover this within themselves. If you’re not where you want to be, then take the next 3 steps:Write your ‘new’ story and envision your desired relationships with your Self, with another and with others. 2. Take the Co-Dependency Survey so you can discover your patterns and what may be getting in your way to have the love and relationships you want. http:// cocreateyoursuccess. com/success-tools/ assessments/ 3. Book a complimentary 15-minute Diamond Spark consultation to
assist you in formatting a plan to get you where you want to go and create amazing relationships. https://www.vcita. com/v/04c0c48a/online_ scheduling#/services So have fun this month! Fall in love with your Self! Heal your heart. Become energetically aligned to open to and receive the MORE love that is available to you. And learn how to focus on and communicate the MORE of what you Truly desire to your Self and with others! Happy LOVE … Living Only Vibrant Energy month!
Amanda Butler is the Architect of The Diamond Co-Creative System™ and since 2001 has assisted thousands to heal their present and past life energetics, while activating their Soul Codes of Destiny and Success, so they create an integration and vibrational alignment between their Soul’s Essence and personality/egoic Self. The results … they feel connected with their authentic Self, True purpose, passion, joy and love with the ability to fulfill their Highest Potential and live their MORE! For more about Amanda and The Diamond Co-Creative System ™, go to: http://cocreateyoursuccess. com/28dayjourney/ www.CoCreateYourSuccess.com https://www.facebook.com/ createyourdiamondlife eydisauthenticliving.com 69
Talk to Tamara Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. To ask your questions go to eydisauthenticliving.com’s home page and click on Tamara’s picture, under our “Let’s Talk” section.
by Tamara Green
“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.” – Dave Willis
Dear Tamara The thought of going through Valentine’s Day without my ex-boyfriend is breaking my heart. He left me for someone else. My emotions are like a Ping-Pong ball because one minute I’m scheming on how to win him back and the next I’m plotting his demise. The truth is, I need to move on, but how? Please help release me from my suffering. Signed, Love Crazed
Dear Love Crazed, I’m so sorry that your heart is broken, but I’m here to tell you that your suffering will not last forever, even though it may feel that way right now. It’s important to know that the ending of one relationship sets the tone for your next one. When you hold lingering feelings toward your ex, such as resentment, pining or un-forgiveness, then most likely, you will experience difficulties in your next relationship or in attracting your new love. Negativity is a lower energy vibration that, like a magnet, attracts that lower energy right into your life, such as, challenges and loneliness. There is an easy and fun solution to releasing your ex and what blocks you from your new love. I call it Jarring For Love. Before I explain what that is, let me first tell you an amazing group of curious school children from Korea. 70 | Eydis Magazine
An entire second-grade class created a very interesting experiment having to do with love, hate, and indifference. They filled three mason jars 3/4 full of water and placed a fresh onion on top of each container. One jar was labeled Love Me. The second jar was labeled Hate Me. The last jar was labeled, Ignore Me. Every day during classroom time, whenever the children would pass by the Love Me jar, they would say, “I love you, you’re so beautiful, I love you!” Whenever they passed by the Hate Me jar, they would say, “I hate you, you’re ugly, I hate you!” Whenever they passed by the third jar, the kids ignored it altogether. After two months, the results were remarkable. The loved onion thrived and grew very strong green stocks out the top and vibrant roots
underneath. The hated onion turned light brown, had wilted and stocks and shriveled roots. The most fascinating result was with the ignored onion because it looked the worst of all. It was dark brown and 1/3 its original size. Its stocks nor roots grew. In fact, the poor onion became a rotted mess. The experiment didn’t end here. Feeling sorry for the hated and ignored onions, the children decided to love them back to health. In only 30 days of being blasted with love, the onions were rejuvenated back to their thriving, fresh and original state, once again. This is an amazing lesson for all of us on the powerful impact of love, hate, and indifference. The fact is that love cures everything, even our past relationships. It’s the energy of love that will release and unblock you, too. Like the failing onions, love will rejuvenate your heart to a higher vibration and attract your new and amazing beloved. Your inflamed ego, which operates from fear, is telling you to either blame your ex for how you feel or to win him back to feel better. However, your heart, which operates from love, is telling you to let go of your pining and bitterness. Your heart knows that doing so will set you free. Jarring For Love is an invitation for your Higher Self to take over, for your Loving Self to cure your past so that you can step into your future relationship with ease.
Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soul-centered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy. Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook. com TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: youtube.com/channel/ UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A
6 STEPS TO ‘JARRING’ YOUR EX TO ATTRACT YOUR NEW LOVE 1. Take a large jar, box, vase or any other container you wish and label it with your ex’s name or photo. Or, simply label it, “Releasing My Past With Love”, or something similar. 2. Looking at your jar, hold up your right hand and read this, “I, ___ (your name)___, hereby swear, that for the next 30 days or more, I will not pass by this container without sending it my love, forgiveness, gratitude, and compassion. In this moment, I surrender my past, releasing it to the wisdom of my own Higher Self.” 3. Place your container in an area of your home where you will pass by it most often. For most people, it’s the kitchen. 4. Besides sending the energy of love, etc., also, feed your container every day with kind notes to your ex and to yourself, affirmations, crystals, prayer beads, intentions or anything else that your heart desires. Release your ex and your heart by saying to your container, “Thank you for our time together. Because of our relationship, I learned about myself, about love and about life. You helped me to be clear about what I now truly desire, so thank you!” 5. As you release, prepare your heart for receiving. As if you are watching you in your own movie, see the loving relationship that you are now deciding to have. Get excited about this happening. Be grateful now for what you are creating for your loving future. 6. Have fun doing this. Be lighthearted and smile a lot.
Dear Liberty A FRIENDSHIP SHATTERED by Liberty Forrest
Dear Liberty, Recently, I was staying with a friend at her invitation. I was in between homes at the time and she was kind enough to offer to have me stay a while. I worried about being in the way or that it might change the dynamics of her relationship with her husband but she kept insisting that I should come. She said that because I’d helped her through some really tough times in the past, it was the least she could to repay me. As a friend, I wasn’t looking to be repaid. But it made me feel like less of a bother or a burden on her and her husband. Anyway, I went. I stayed. And things seemed okay for a few days but then I started noticing weird things. I felt like she was angry or maybe just unhappy because I know she has big problems in her marriage, and also some really big problems with her dad who is disabled and relies on her way too much.
admitted to having taken “several cheap shots.” She said she didn’t mean a word of any of it. But I didn’t believe her. I couldn’t say that, though; I had nowhere else to go and felt trapped like I had to walk on eggs and be nice or I’d get thrown onto the street. A few days later, the same thing happened. And I was right. I got chucked out with only minutes to get as much of my stuff together as I could. I had to leave quite a bit behind. But at least I’d already planned to leave the next day as I’d found somewhere to go. I emailed the following morning, asking her to please forward my mail to another friend’s address just until I could change my address. She replied and said no, she wouldn’t be doing that. She told me I could get it myself, a 300-mile round trip when she knows I don’t have a car.
Then all of a sudden one day she just screamed at me. She raged and insulted me and used some of my most vulnerable issues against me. She was downright cruel, absolutely vicious. I’d never seen anything like this before and I felt like an abused wife (I am well acquainted with that feeling).
Then she sent a big long email full of all sorts of insane judgments and accusations based on nothing but garbage out of her own head (the same stuff she’d been screaming in my face). It sounded like things she should be saying to her husband and her father; it was all the issues she’s got with them that she and I have discussed for a long time. Now suddenly she’s defending them and dumping all this junk in my lap. I really want to reply to some parts of it, but I feel like there’s not much point. I have no interest in trying to fix anything but I just hate walking away with her thinking all that nonsense is true.
When she calmed down, she apologized profusely. She said she had been trying to hurt me and she
Signed, Shocked in Chicago
I did my best to help where I could and to offer my ear or my shoulder. As things felt worse over the next few weeks, I felt more and more sure that she was upset with me, but I didn’t have any idea why. She always said everything was fine whenever I asked.
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Dear Shocked, Wow, that’s quite a story. No doubt there is a lot more to it than you’ve been able to tell. I agree with you. There isn’t any point to writing. If you do need to say a few things, be brief and do the point. Leave any emotion out of it. Stick to facts and let it go. She isn’t likely to hear you anyway but at least you’ll feel better for having tried. And who knows? Maybe someday your words will sink in. More importantly, I think you’re right about the issues really being about her husband and father. People will often spew their range at safe targets, like kids, will do when testing their boundaries. They lash out at their parents, trusting that they will be loved and forgiven for it. Friends can do the same thing. Sometimes they lash out at the people with whom they feel safest. However, it’s one thing to just be overly stressed and inadvertently take it out on someone. It’s quite another to deliberately be hurtful and “take cheap shots.” If you’re dealing with people who jump to conclusions, decide their assumptions are fact without bothering to check, and then make a load of false accusations and refuse to listen to the truth, then those people have some serious mental and emotional problems and really need
some help. Everyone jumps to conclusions sometimes. All of us assume things at various times. But to go to such extremes as your “friend” did, and not even check facts and then behave in such a vile way, there is simply no excuse for that. At the very least, she should have been coming to you with her concerns and discussing everything with you, rather than making things up and then treating you as though they were facts. It seems she was more concerned with offloading a bunch of anger that was really directed at others, and she created a reason to direct it at you instead because you were safe. Wishing you the best of luck,
Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution. eydisauthenticliving.com 73
The Butterfly Moment What is a “Butterfly Moment?” There is an incredible “HAPPENING” that occurs when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The caterpillar is encapsulated by a cocoon of its own making. It is imprisoned in a state of total immobility and darkness. Understandably, it must be a time of pain, panic and despair. However, as a certain life force of “allowing” takes over, this creature instinctively “lets go and lets God” an incredible transformation occurs. It is a transformation and struggle that is totally personal. Scientist tell us that if you help a caterpillar by cutting it out of the cocoon it will die because this struggle pushes life giving energy deep into its growing wings. In other words, “no pain…no gain.” As life energies slowly break loose the caterpillar from the cocoon, an incredible moment occurs. This caterpillar has a realization. It is a moment when it finally understands that all of this pain, panic and despair were for a reason. The caterpillar is not what it thought it was! It is one of the most beautiful insects in the world… that can fly!
Can you think of a more “AHA!” moment like this?
John Schalter and Carrie Hall (married) are professional Life Coaches, who specializes in personal growth, relationship and career coaching. Their solution-focused coaching techniques offer a highly-personalized program tailored specifically to you. With compassion and understanding, they work with you to help build on your strengths and attain the personal growth you are committed to achieving.
Specialized Areas: • Personal Growth
• Inner Peace
• Professional Development
• Achieving Balance
• Relationship Coaching
• Health & Weight Issues
• Communication Skills
• Organization & Productivity
• Confidence & Personal Power To hear more Butterfly Moments from John and Carrie, listen to Empower Radio, Tuesdays at 9:00 Eastern Time. To find out more about Quantum Leap Coaching go to quantumleaptransformationalcoach.com or call 586.997.4357 10% of all proceeds are donated to the St Clair Butterfly Foundation where John sits as the Board President To find out more about the St Clair Butterfly Foundation visit stclairbutterflyfoundation.org
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A TIME OF GREAT CHANGE by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
ne seemingly common thread across the U.S., and across political parties has been the desire for change. This article is not about politics or those differences. We humans are a funny lot. Oftentimes we appropriately complain about our situation – relationship, family, work status, coworkers, etc – and we hope that it will change. But when the opportunity for change actually arises, there is a tendency for the individual to retreat as a fear response, and continue with what is familiar. I have been fascinated by the acceleration of change that has been taking place over the last decade or more. I have witnessed this acceleration of change in my own life, as well as in my clients’. Children and adults arrive for counseling for a particular reason, yet often learn that there is an underlying frustration or a lack of congruence between their inner self/goals and their outer actions. I help clients to align
the two and to tolerate the lack of ease that they temporarily experience in the meantime. I’ve seen many children and adults over the last few decades who are feeling a pull to something different and know that there is something more. Are you one of them? Here’s what you might be experiencing: •
You see the world differently than many others seem to.
You feel a stirring or a quickening within.
This quickening might leave you feeling agitated or nervous or excited or frustrated: Why is it taking so long?
You observe the big picture, the layers, and the greater patterns.
You recognize the need to care for or improve systems (education, healthcare, etc), or Earth herself.
You feel incredibly frustrated by the slowness of change. eydisauthenticliving.com 77
that I mentioned earlier are often the ones who feel it and see the signs. They may feel the changing alignments of the planets (as described by our astrologers) and/or the pull of energy that our way-showers can recognize. A time of great change is not to be feared, even though that is our tendency. Remember, neither different nor uncomfortable is bad. Some feel this quickening or incongruency on a more personal level. You might not even identify that the in-congruency exists. Together we look at what is wanted, and how to receive or achieve it. These patterns may look like the following: •
You too frequently say yes when you wish or need to say no.
You are afraid that your ideas will be ridiculed.
You experience the world as a Sensitive – highly attuned to one or more of the five senses.
You may be empathic – you not only feel bad for the other person (sympathy), but you can imagine yourself experiencing their feeling or situation … as they might be.
You may have intuitive abilities, premonitions, or dreams that don’t feel like dreams.
I have been enthralled by the following observation: When 78 | Eydis Magazine
people begin to recognize and understand their true, authentic self, and then develop the congruency between their inner and outer worlds, many anxiety patterns are alleviated. Let’s talk a little more about this time of great change. Besides the observation of so many individuals who are experiencing this desire to change big patterns personally or globally (or somewhere in between), it seems that the time we are living in is accelerating and accentuating this sensation. So if you are a way-shower or change-agent in this lifetime, even if you do not yet know it, you are feeling the pull. You may have felt – though not understood – this difference since you were a child, and it’s being accentuated and accelerated in this time in which we are living. Instead of looking back in history from the future to see that it occurred, some are identifying it now. The intuitive and empathic people
This may seem paradoxical, and for some of you, it may seem uncomfortable, but find the common threads that are shared within our different faiths, ethnicities, race, gender, sexuality, political parties and views. The first common thread is that so many of us want to change, and are feeling the pull at varying levels. You can feel more grounded during these times of great change through acceptance and understanding, and by seeking to live more authentically and personally empowered. Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@ spiralwisdom.net, and visit SpiralWisdom. net for more information.
This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.
Connect with nature and find your authentic self
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FITTING IN... LIFE’S GREATEST PUZZLE by Kate Sholonski
common side effect I’ve noticed that comes with being human is that we all want to “fit in”. We may deny it and will boast about being so unique we don’t fit in anywhere and that’s okay. We may cherish our independence and celebrate our resourcefulness, creating a story that we tell ourselves about not needing anyone. In spite of all the contrary reasons that many may use to dispute this claim, I believe the desire to “fit in” is so strong, that we come out of the womb, checking out the world around us for where we can be the best fit.
I have noticed in my work with youth that the need to fit in is especially profound. There are groups, cliques, clubs and sports that offer children the opportunity to be a part of something where their fit is guaranteed. Unfortunately, fitting in at this stage of life, can be pretty tenuous and uncertain. For instance, whether or not someone is welcomed into a group is dependent on the say-so of others. One must be evaluated and sometimes even tested or voted in to qualify. The criteria for their acceptance may not always be objective, in fact, it is usually quite subjective. One’s true potential or their wonderful and unique gifts may not even be seen and will, therefore, miss the cut.
languages, cultures, habits, lifestyles and viewpoints are not enough to make us separate. On a spiritual level, which is the level I play most of the time, we all have a purpose and we are meant to fit together, like puzzle pieces creating the perfect picture of harmony. Each human puzzle piece is different from the rest, but the puzzle is not complete if even one piece is missing.
When we grow up to be adults, we may say it’s great to be past those times of our youth where fitting in was so important, yet we still seek to be within a circle of friends that match us. We want to be included in the water cooler conversations at work, invited to parties, asked to be on committees etc., giving us a confirmation that we are part of something larger than ourselves. We want to know we matter. Regardless of our age, if we don’t believe we fit in somewhere. . . anywhere, the outcome can be devastating. In other words, we, in our human experience of making our way through life, can come to believe that it is our fitting in that actually defines us. Many of us actually use our work titles or our degree of education to define ourselves. There are huge conferences and conventions where we can mix, mingle with others from around the world,
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confirming we fit in. Of course, we may need to pay dues to be a part of some groups, but the price is usually worth it. To be thorough in this examination of fitting in, it must also be noted that we often judge others as not being a fit. It is quite common in our human experience to evaluate each other, looking for attributes, a certain look, personality, education or social history before agreeing to welcome others into our fold. The tricky part of fitting in, whether it involves ourselves or others, is that there is always the risk of not being a fit, and worse yet, to not have a single group, club or organization where we feel like we belong. When I consider this subject of fitting in, I have found a way to be at peace with it. My peace comes from believing no one is separate, to begin with. We are all one. Different colors,
So the next time you feel like you’re being left out or that you don’t fit in, take a breath, remembering the big puzzle of this world needs you. Don’t be that piece that falls on the floor and blends in with the carpet. You fit in. You always have and always will.
Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have co-authored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level.
Lynn Darmon PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER Lynn is a Psychic Medium born with clairvoyant, clairaudient and precognitive abilities. She first became aware of this gift at age five. As she grew older her abilities developed, receiving messages from the Other Side, first from family members who’d passed and then messages from loved ones of people around her. Lynn describes this gift of guidance from Spirit as “Second Sight.” During a reading, Lynn will take you on a journey from your past where she will peek into your childhood, to the present and offer you channeled guidance from Spirit as you continue on your Spiritual Path into your future. Serving as a conduit between the Spirit World and this world, Lynn conveys messages from those who have passed with the intention of providing validation, healing and further guidance to their loved ones here. Most recently featured on
Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.
31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • firstname.lastname@example.org Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon SERVICES PROVIDED: In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype
• In home
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE? Where for art thou?
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by Gary Stuart
Love is one of the most loaded words in the dictionary or life experience for many of us.
LOVE We want it! We can’t find it! We’ll settle for what know will not fulfill us. We’ll make excuses for just for a smidgen of it. We become angry when we don’t get it. We want someone else to feel the same way at the same time as us. ALL of this is just on the First Date! It’s truly amazing that we all get to experience love in an almost mystical even magical but in a variety of different ways. Of course, love starts for us all as babies (if we’re lucky) to be held, adored and comforted. Mother’s met every need, and cares for us with as little as an uncomfortable whimper. This is on a good day with mother and father or infant-caretaker willing to do so. This too is a good day for any baby who gets its needs met. For some babies, it may be waiting as they lay in their crib, waiting for attention to meet its ever-changing needs. This can be all too common with parents working multiple jobs to survive very often at a personal cost to the baby. Ironically, it always seems to work out for the best in most cases. Infants need to bond with mother and father, as the baby’s instinct to thrive grows stronger. We incarnate with a will to live and survive that seems to outweigh any condition or real life situation we encounter. To be alive is to learn from each experience during our infancy through the formative years of our childhood as we evolve into Adults. “Love and Life always manages to find a way” eydisauthenticliving.com 85
Everyone always has his or her own will to live and survive. Though we often may be forced to use learned survival skills such as self-betrayal or to make up stories that hide our emotional pain. We unconsciously lie to ourselves to avoid the pain of the truth, Mommy doesn’t care or Daddy doesn’t want me, they don’t love me. They’ll only love me IF? Everyone learns this when they are very young, absorbing what to do and who to please to get the Love and Care needed. I know it may sound cruel but I’ve found self-betrayal is the #1
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activity we engage in to get our needs met. Lest we forget the Grandmother taught our Mother and the Great grandparents taught the grandparents. There’s a lineage of familial behaviors in each generation. Everyone got trained in this unconsciously to use these skills to survive in their quest for life first, then love second. Personally, for me having facilitated Ancestral healing experiences in thousands of family Constellations the past 19 years. I find these generational
behaviors and attitudes are passed down from generation to generation. Each family’s patterns are for survival whether it be dysfunctional as it remains functional either way. Our goal ultimately is to stay alive and be interconnected. Everyone’s needs are expressed through intimate connections of love and bonding (if we’re lucky) or horrific drama and trauma (if we are not). What I often see and experience is that it’s very hard to change our familial attitudes and behaviors. They feel physically
Love is LOVE IS humbling, vulnerable and touching to the heart. This is always the perfect and best place to start.
embedded within us at a deep almost cellular level. Remember our very DNA has been copied and regenerated for eons. Long before each of us received our current pattern manifested in physical reality. We SHARE our cellular makeup with All those who came before. This includes every historical experience that they had with their body, mind, and souls during their “fair use” time of the inherited genetic program. The good (living life) the bad (negative experiences) and the ugly (all trauma) are all blended in the present. This is where the past interfaces it’s future in us all participating within LIFE often called the eternal now.
buck the well-established family system you were born into. If we are lucky and have the intestinal fortitude, we can change what was once thought to be our destiny with this group of people commonly known as our family. Not betraying yourself can raise or incur quite an explosive reaction from the subtle dynamic of loyalty and betrayal. Most family members may never have even thought of this alternative option. Having the personal freedom to do so can make the first one to do so a pariah of sorts or black sheep, to say the least. How dare they challenge the status quo! Or who do they think they are attitude!
In stepping away from our beliefs about LOVE, everything becomes known to us as the rules of belonging. First belonging to Life, then to Family, then to society, and nations, then to our species known to us as the Human family. This can also mean doing things differently. Maybe NOT betraying yourself for a LOVE you may never receive as you
LOVE RECIPE! Shake ingredients well, add Courage with a splash of an open Heart and a pinch of Trust then bake a cake of Love for a lifetime! Viola, Love has risen! No wonder they call it Devils food or is it Angel food? Hummmm… The good news is, we survived it all. Being adults with a choice we have the power to manifest
LOVE IS needing and conceding to what we don’t know as it really isn’t us who’s running the show. Let LOVE humble you in ways you cannot comprehend. Show tears of vulnerability as you reach out your hand to touch an unknown stranger or a very dear old friend LOVE IS after all as big as an ocean or a tree standing tall or a single teardrop most precious and small. Go out and take chances, as that is what LOVE IS Be simple and generous and willing to give. This is after all what LOVE really IS You are loved on this DAY and every other Day as well!.
It’s time to take a stand for YOU, open your tender heart to someone who is worthy of it (you decide). Trust that that the same Universe that brought you here will be the same one to provide for your every need. You already have LIFE and if it’s LOVE you want, so be it!
5 EASY STEPS!
1. Do not settle, ever! 2. Be open to receive Love it as it comes to you! anything and everything we so desire. Most want LOVE manifested in a partner or being close knit with others forming your circle of friends and family too (if you’re lucky to have both). Always remember it ALL starts with us. Living and being whole and complete as we are, knowing we are a catch. Don’t forget that getting our “selflove void” filled by others is called “co-dependence”. This approach will never work. We already betrayed ourselves to get to this place which didn’t work then nor will it now or ever. We ALL learned this codependence from our family, as we did anything and everything for approval through selfbetrayal. We were taught we had to receive through self-sacrifice (subtle guilt for being alive) when it was indeed it was truly never the case. It’s just a wellworn generational familial habit everyone got trapped into for survival. All the while pretending to be LOVE! You see that control and domination are not LOVE! I often alert many Constellation clients that the 88 | Eydis Magazine
Universe itself demanded your PRESENCE without any reservation to the contrary. Ironically, even our parents were powerless to this force called Love or Lust fueled by sexuality, which also changed their lives. Our very physical bodies are the expression of orgasmic desires gone wild. Many lovers had had no intention of becoming parents from that intimate sexual moment in time. I’ve found the Universe and Life itself can be sneaky and demand more than expected, as the Whole Universe is reborn within each baby. “Everyone alive is born into unlimited possibility and potentiality. Any inconvenient situations be damned!” You are here to create any experience you want; the Universe loves your presence in any capacity. All you must do is go find who you want to bond with. Keep in mind having an open heart and try not to attach to how it must be or will be manifested. This truly leaves us open to receive!
3. Not every relationship has to be the one! 4. Allow yourself the freedom to let love find you! 5. You are worth waiting for! Sometimes pushing and chasing too hard has the opposite effect it pushes away what we want most. (just sayin’) Make every day Valentine’s Day for yourself. Gary Stuart Speaker, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Trainer has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several decades. His first book on Constellations Many Hearts, One Soul set the stage for his latest book Master Your Universe: How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at www.Amazon.com He leads healing workshops and trainings, nationally and internationally and resides in Los Angeles. He specializes in Distance, Family or Organizational Constellations. He’s returning to Detroit August 2017 Give a Valentine GIFT that keeps on giving! Valentine Constellation GIFT CERTIFICATES, $100 off thru Feb. 28th His FREE Consultation: www. testyourhappiness.com and online www.ConstellationsWithGaryStuart.com
Start Your Own Magazine In Your Local Area,
Eydis Authentic Living, It’s Not Only A Business,
It’s A Movement! I never could have imagined that by taking control of my life and starting my own business, it would turn out to be the most rewarding decision I have ever made, it has changed my life forever! It is the combination of faith, dedication and working smart, mixed with great passion and manifestation that I am here talking to you about this amazing opportunity. By owning my own magazine in my local area, it allowed me to showcase women leading the way in business, careers and family lifestyles, quickly positioning it as the who’s who for women’s empowerment, inspiration, local community awareness, and the most effective and sought after marketing tool. Eydis Authentic Living Magazine thrives on the incredible relationships created, making “YOU” a leader in the heart of your community.
FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT MARIASAVOY.COM
THE IMPORTANCE OF PLAY AND by Pam Thompson
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How to Connect with Your Inner ChildÂ
any of us learn that after a certain age, it is not appropriate to play. We get messages that we need to become serious and act like an adult. More and more research is showing how important play and laughter are for health and wellness throughout our lives. You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. When we laugh, we release endorphins and encourage energy to move throughout our body. In the words of Candace Pert, a neuroscientist and pharmacologist who has spent much of her scientific life studying the mind-body link:
Play and laughter are vital to feeling good. Recreation isnâ€™t merely a frivolous addition to life or a hard-earned reward for work. I believe that in a society driven by a strong work ethic, with so many individuals burdened with workaholism, people arenâ€™t getting enough endorphinergic surges through the bodymind on a regular basis. For you to not be laughing and playing during some part of every day is unnatural and goes against your fundamental biochemistry. Everything You Need to Feel Go(o)d), 2006
Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, has conducted research that shows play is not only energizing and fun, but also important for human physical, emotional and cognitive development, and intelligence. Addictions, depression, stress-related illnesses and interpersonal violence have been linked to the prolonged deprivation of play. Based on research by Brown, Pert and others, it is recommended for the health of our minds and bodies that we engage in play and laughter every day.
TYPES OF PLAY
Research on animals and humans has identified a number of different types of play including: Body Play - when we move our bodies in different ways; for example, jumping, running, skipping or moving our bodies to real or imagined music. Object Play - when we make an object (e.g. a snowball) and play with it, or play with an object such as a soccer ball. Imaginative Play – creating an imaginary friend you interact with (you may have had an
imaginary friend when you were a child); creating and sharing a fantasy story with a child; playing “dress up”. Social Play - playing tag or playing house with others Transformative Play – through digital and other types of “structured” play we learn creative problemsolving.
STRATEGIES FOR INCORPORATING MORE PLAY AND LAUGHTER
Travel back in time and identify and write down types of play activities you enjoyed and engaged in as a child. Reflect on how many of these activities you currently engage in as an adult and how often you engage in them. Rate on a scale of 1 to 10 how energized each of the above activities makes you feel – 1 being “not at all” and 10 being “full of energy”. Identify several play activities you would like to begin integrating into your life. Experiment and notice how they make you feel. Commit to engaging in some form of play and/or laughter on a daily basis. Ask friends and family for support (perhaps make it a family project to laugh and play at least once a day), and encourage play and laughter in their lives as well.
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STRATEGIES FOR CONNECTING WITH YOUR INNER CHILD Write a letter to your inner child saying that you want to reconnect. It can be a letter of apology or one expressing that you want to strengthen the relationship with her.
YOUR INNER CHILD
Another way to incorporate more play and laughter into your life is to connect with your inner child. According to Wikipedia “our inner child is our childlike aspect. It includes all that we learned and experienced as children, before puberty.” Others say that your inner child is your “true self”… the small child within you that never grew up. Your inner child is naturally fun, playful, and creative. It is also fragile and vulnerable. Many of us have buried or rejected our inner child, and it takes some time to reconnect with and nurture it. The process may be challenging and scary for some, especially if you’ve experienced trauma. Connecting with our inner child helps us love, accept and nurture ourselves.
Research shows that bringing our inner child out to play and incorporating laughter and play into our days is essential to be healthy and happy throughout our lives. I encourage you to try some of the strategies and to notice what you notice. Pamela Thompson, BN, MSc. is a certified life & business coach, keynote speaker, facilitator, global health & management consultant, & author of the #1 Best Selling book “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women”. She has a diverse background and experience as a nurse, university professor, project manager and consultant in 5 continents. Pam is passionate about supporting women to thrive in life and in business, and speaks and writes about balanced and mindful leadership. She is President of Creative Life Coaching - creativelivingcommunity.com Personal Facebook: www.facebook.com/pamela.thompson.52831 Business Facebook: www.facebook.com/CreativeLivingCommunity LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/pamthompson2009 Twitter: twitter.com/WomensCoachPam
Notice and acknowledge the feelings that come up when you connect with your inner child. Rather than “pushing them down” or rejecting them, allow any fears, sadness or insecurities to surface. Notice what you notice. Express those feelings by writing them down in a personal journal or through painting, finger painting or drawing. Picture yourself as a 3, 4 or 5 year old and reassure your younger self that they are safe, secure and loved. Reorganize your living space. Make it more fun. Bring out joyful childhood pictures, stuffed animals and trinkets and put them on your mantle. Paint one or several of your rooms with guidance from your inner child. Buy a coloring book and color several times a week. Spend time with children playing children’s games. These could be “hide and seek”, or imaginary games, and creating and telling your own stories. On awakening everyday ask your inner child what fun activity they would like to engage in today.
THE DREAM EXPERTS
What Does Your Dream Mean? by Kathryn and Patrick Andries
Dear Dream Expert, I was in an apartment showing someone the rooms with the plan to do some painting or decorating. The first few rooms were not in good shape. They were old and had old wallpaper. We discussed some plans to update. Just as we were leaving, I remembered another room further back in the apartment. This was a very long apartment with a number of rooms. We went back to the last space and it was very nice, new and comfortable and didnâ€™t need anything to be done to it. I wondered why I had forgotten about this room. I was driving somewhere and had to drive the car to the side of the road. There may have been something wrong with it. I was concerned that it was not safe to be there. A car drove up next to us. It was an old car and the people looked questionable. It was partially blocking the road. I was trying to decide what to do and spoke to 96 | Eydis Magazine
the people. I thought maybe about calling 911 but called the auto club. About that time we saw a police car coming toward where we were. I was at work and we were asked to work some extra hours and given a choice of three different times. I picked a Sunday from 11 to 2 in the morning. We were leaving. It must have been another day because it was late, dark and snowing. We were in the parking lot and people were gathered around the director who was calling out names of people who worked extra hours so that they could be rewarded. A lot of names were read, but I was not on the list. He said that he did not have the names of the people who worked the day I was there. I got in my car and drove out of the lot onto a street with snow. A car started to pull out in front of me, but I managed to avoid it. It was very dark and the car was moving slowly through the snow. Both sides of the street were lined with parked cars. I was heading toward downtown. There was something else involving bottles of water that were supposed to be used for something. I had used some and was concerned about it running out. I was told that I did not need them for a year. Sincerely, The Confused Dreamer
Dear Confused Dreamer; There is a theme of undervaluing yourself and thoughts of low self-esteem in this dream. You are looking at different areas of your mind, and you discover there are ways of thinking and
attitudes that are old and need to be improved. You also realize you have some positive and productive ways of thinking, yet you have forgotten about this way of thinking. You are heading in a direction in life that you are having doubts about. This direction you are taking in life is causing you some physical problems (needing to pull your car over.) As you pursue this direction in life you come in contact with parts of yourself that have low self-esteem (the questionable people). You recognize the need to discipline your thinking away from negativity and low self-esteem (policeman). You to set too many goals for yourself, and overwork yourself. This is a pattern that you are stuck in. Even when you achieve your goals, you donâ€™t reward yourself or validate your efforts. (you did not receive a reward.) All these goals zap your physical energy. (moving slowly through the snow). This pattern produces a busy mind (heading toward downtown). I recommend examining how you disregard your efforts in life. Validate yourself for the efforts you are making and reward yourself. When you belittle yourself, notice how it zaps your energy level. The bottles of water signify life experiences. You have some life experiences that you want to do something with. However, you fear you may lack some experience. For example, if you are wanting to write a book, you may feel you donâ€™t have enough life experiences to make an interesting book. I suggest you look at how you undervalue your life experiences. See the value in your life experiences by sharing them with others.
Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: email@example.com. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com.
ASK THE LIFE COACH
LEARNING AND LOVING LAMENTING by John Schalter
“My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?” Jesus from the cross (Matthew 27:46–47)
I recently lost a child due to an unexpected, tragic illness. I can’t seem to recover from my deep anger, desperation, and sadness. What can I do? What am I doing wrong?
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Dear Beth First of all, thank you for your question and congratulations on your courage to explore this issue in a public forum. I am very sorry for your loss. There are few things more painful in life than losing a child. My thoughts and prayers are with you. However, I know that many of our readers will be helped immensely by your brave decision to start a conversation concerning this very important topic.
“There is a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Author Esther Fleece
Grief is a something near and dear to my heart because it is (in my view) very misunderstood. Grieving is also called “lamenting.” The dictionary describes this term as “express regret or disappointment over something considered unsatisfactory, unreasonable, or unfair.” All of this brings to mind, what I believe to be one of the problems with positive thinking. Grief is a natural human energy that is very real. It cannot and should not be swept under the proverbial rug with positive affirmations and pep talks. Grief has to be handled very carefully or there is a good chance that it will be buried instead of released. As a result, the wounds will never heal and the pain never goes away. In a real sense, how well we grieve is how well we heal. Sadness and anger after a loss are a very healthy and authentic human responses. However, we have been conditioned since birth to fight back tears and push down feelings. You know the admonition, “big boys (or girls) don’t cry.” However, the reality is that nothing is further from the truth. And yes, would even be appropriate to be mad at God and even tell Him so. (Even Jesus did it from the cross) Lamenting is acknowledging our humanness. It is part of a needed release of the expression of anger and hurt. This is the reason that I started out this article with Jesus’ lament on the cross. He is expressing his humanness. He is acknowledging his human separation from the perfection of God. When we give ourselves the gift of grieving or lamenting we are causing a very natural and needed release of negative energy. In life, more often than not, “what you resist persists.” When we channel our grief into a healthy lamenting and also project it into some redemptive or positive cause, we put this toxic energy to good use. Like rocket fuel, it can take us to higher heights and unexpected growth!
What if you let yourself grieve and lament and then also joined (or created) a foundation that could solve the problem of your child’s sickness? The point is you have a choice of several ways of directing this negative energy into something good and even glorious. Try it. At this point, there is very little to lose and a life to be gained…YOURS. Added to this, your efforts will memorialize and honor your lost child’s life. There seems no downside in these efforts. What a beautiful thing!
And as we all step into the ever-present challenges in our lives, let us remember,“we are all too blessed to be stressed.” See you in the next publication. Until then… Peace and Blessings, John John Schalter is a Life Coach, Practicing Attorney (36 years) and Professional Screenwriter. He is also a musician, songwriter, and artist. He does private coaching but limits his client numbers to 10. If you would like to discuss coaching further and/or get on the waiting list call him at 586-997 HELP (5357). The first consultation is always free!
Write For Eydis Authentic Living Magazine
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The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe. â€“Gustave Haubert
eydisauthenticliving.com/be-heard eydisauthenticliving.com 101
YOU ARE A
BELOVED This letter is a channeled message I received to share with you. This time of the year, when the focus turns to love, relationships, and Valentineâ€™s Day seems like the perfect time to share it with you. by Janette Stuart
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for those s of great joy especially ing tid od go of ge ssa are here with a me e creation. There is d, that you are a Divin “Yes, beautiful one, we Go of ild Ch s iou ec pr th. You need ng. Know, at can change that tru th d te of you who are struggli pla em nt co or t of plenty. We invite have done, though nt world. It is a world nothing that you could da un ab an o int t gh ou d, because you were br as a beloved Child of Go lf se ur yo not struggle to exist as at Tre e. lov e. Do all things with you to listen only to lov what you are. beloved, that is exactly s before you came u remember how it wa yo e us ca be n te of ed d you long ed or unlov , unconditional love an re pu d’s You may feel disappoint Go to d te ec nce. You were conn g and hard for it or to Earth for this experie you need not labor lon at th is ws ne od go e er you are as ce more. Th here, right now, wherev ht rig le for that connection on ab ail av is It of God deserve God’s favor. s and allow the breath th ea br g sin an be “good enough” to cle g, , lon e, dear one. ceive. Take three deep to the Divine at any tim t ec nn you allow yourself to re co n ca u Yo . dy ady ery cell of your bo forces who are at the re t len vo ne be r to fill your lungs and ev he ot d s an ce and it a host of angels, guide only ask for their assistan st mu u You are surrounded by Yo t. es qu re ur g. Your prayers are they are awaiting yo you were not anticipatin to provide assistance; rm fo a in rth fo me co tance may is given. Heavenly assis one. always answered dear order to that you must suffer in g nin itio nd co st pa or to feel the truth ing that is not love, d’s love. Allow yourself You can discount anyth Go n” ar “e st mu u yo at d. You any belief th d that you are connecte an e lov receive God’s favor or is d Go at th , the fore you were born Child of the Creator of ed lov be a are u you remember since be Yo . loved it in your heart of ough, and you are a be th. You need only feel tru is are worthy, you are en th of ne yo an e u need not convinc Universe. It is truth. Yo ly love.” confidently in love…on ard rw fo ve mo d an s art he st once ed that you do so at lea ag ur co en is it d an ain ag e date of your e letter time and time ading it monthly on th re joy en You can re-read this lov u’d yo s ap rh u can urse of this year. Pe d carry it with you. Yo an t ou it int pr a month during the co to nt wa o late into the remember. You may als low the words to perco Al it. birth so that it’s easy to on up ly mi ea dr ur pillow and sleep even place it under yo art be blessed. ious one. May your he ec pr , ing be ur yo of re co Love, uart n of Light via Janette St Nathaniel and the Legio
I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work in a more visible way and am now devoting more time to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world. I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary. My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator. I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness. As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner. Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding.
Manifest your destiny
Flourish LEAD TO
by Carol Benson
nother great woman, Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, has said that, â€œLeadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.â€? Solidarity amongst women to grow in excellence in all the areas that
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allow you to feel fulfilled in life, especially right now in the most uncertain of times, is a gift that continues to give to others in a huge way. And yes, you can grow all the parts of yourselves to become not only a great leader but an excellent
“It is within everyone’s grasp to be a CEO.” --Martha Stewart
Women leaders can powerfully, by blending both the masculine and feminine qualities inside you, foster a business culture towards excellence. And when engagement, innovation, and inspiration happens, a natural outcome is to notice that revenue and business growth soars too! There seems to be a renewed thirst for collaborative cooperation amongst women in business. Today, in fact, I went to a planning forum for a new local chapter of a national networking group for women business owners. There were twelve women who mostly were meeting for the first time. Given a chance to say what we each wanted in the future of this group, was both eye opening and heartening. One woman said she really craved, not another “networking group,” but a place to learn and to build a trusted sisterhood with other women. Another woman made the request that we spend the next several months really getting to learn about and know each woman in the group. Wow! So instead of trolling for or promoting each business in a hungry way, meaningful ways to support other women in the group really called to each and every one there! Being a member for a while, I’ve got to tell you that this was a first for me to witness in this group. Keep in mind that it wasn’t a “women’s circle” or a personal development workshop. It was a business owner-networking forum! Nearly all of the women in the room were excited; remarking that in the brief hour we spent together, there seemed to be a notable range of trust forming between all of us. person as well. Women already have an edge here. Each and every one of you can be a leader – at every level in your business and in life. And that edge is in your ability to perceive emotions far greater than most men; along with the ability to relate and create real and long-lasting alliances.
The timing seems so perfect for the times we live in now. It was refreshing to learn that there are other women business leaders craving not only sisterhood but to create a solidarity of supportive excellence together. eydisauthenticliving.com 107
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” It begins with you first! When you have a mindset of leadership excellence, the sky’s the limit for not only your career but also in supporting others to excel as well. When you can really understand your own individual purpose and the “Why” of why you are doing what you’re doing, that will be perceived by others as not only your leadership mojo but also that you are a person of excellence. Let’s take a moment to identify what excellence means. If it’s mostly been only about your career and your financial success, I’m suggesting that you take 108 | Eydis Magazine
about creativity? Intellectual learning – not just work related – but learning the cutting edge information on different subjects like health and fitness, the neuroscience of emotions, cultural, spiritual and more? When you can continue learning from a place of being curious, your world will open up to greater possibilities inside you; especially if you have no agenda for having to be right or have the last word.
Leaders who know how to be excellent are needed now more than ever -John Quincy Adams before. You see, the old way system of the traditional some time now to identify and capitalism-foundation of then write down the other parts business, i.e., “bottom line” of your life that also might need focus on profit and productivity, some attention. That’s taking a isn’t working the way it once first action step for you to flourish did. And for about a decade and thrive in those areas too. there’s been a new kid in town, “conscious capitalism” which Life is not only about career adheres to a “triple bottom advancement and money. line” system. You’re missing out if that’s all your attending to. “Triple bottom line” addresses the areas of profit, people, and What about your health and the planet. And yet, as trendy as fitness? Your relationships? If conscious capitalism has become you’re a parent, parenting? as a go-to tagline for businesses Your lifestyle? Are you who truly want to try something working, working, working different, it doesn’t always work. or do you create time for There are some businesses fun and enjoyment? How who are finding an increased
engagement and overall fulfillment in employees, i.e., such as at Facebook, Google, and Zappos, but the results are not successfully widespread amongst other businesses. In fact, it’s rare to integrate it at all the levels inside a business. The breakdown seems to occur, from our experience working with and interviewing business owners, employees, and other business consultants, in several key areas: leadership, engagement, and productivity. It’s been a tradition of many companies to place importance on horizontal job skill development. To achieve leadership excellence, vertical development is a critical must! This includes upgrading your internal operating abilities such as emotional/social intelligence, emotional regulation, perspective taking, creating emotions you want, etc. In our “It Doesn’t Feel Like Work” training, we show leaders how to build skills to flourish using a Conscious Business approach that not only blends the above systems but also goes several levels beyond to create opportunities for leaders at every level of the business! Leaders who flourish must embrace taking on becoming a conscious business leader and that begins within your own internal mindset operating system.
can and will open up. For you to step into truly being an excellent leader, you must develop becoming fully aware of not only yourselves but including other individuals and their unique perspectives. Then, you’ll see improvement in overall productivity and the engagement of the business culture. You’ll also notice that you’re having more enjoyment when it comes to work and so is everyone else! Done with conscious awareness, work can nourish you and others to grow in any area of life that needs attention. Conscious business is done developmentally as an approach gives tremendous opportunities to all. There is no right or wrong. There is only a recognition and allowance for where someone is. As a leading edge leader, when you can support this developmental sequence, everyone wins. And “it doesn’t feel like work!” when you share being inter-supportive of yourself and others!
TRY ON YOUR LEADERSHIP EXCELLENCE HAT USING THE FOLLOWING TOOLS: 1. SMALL CHOICES increase flourishing: Start by identifying the seemingly insignificant choices you make daily that you can shift, e.g., healthy and frequent snacks that increase your energy vibrancy instead of body-stressful binge unhealthy junk food. Or you might try exercising before work instead of avoiding it afterward. Instead of giving into fatigue or overwhelm, take a brisk walk for 5-10 minutes in between meetings instead of returning calls that can wait until later in the day. These new choices will give you greater physiological/ emotional support to stay excellent throughout your day. Takeaway: The sum
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of small decisions = the greater whole of fresh target outcomes. 2. NONVERBAL POWER POSES to shift emotional states. Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy’s, powerful TED talk on body language (2012) highlighted how people tend to make sweeping generalizations and assumptions based on nothing more than an initial impression of someone. Takeaway: If you need to be in full form in a meeting or elsewhere, move your body into a power pose that energizes your mind, body and gears your emotions into alert focus while projecting engagement and authenticity to others. Your energy level will serve others by giving them an opportunity to match you
where you’re at. If you’re annoyed, they’ll find they are too or frustrated or… But if you’re present and focused, they’ll be engaged and participatory just by you shifting your emotional state. 3. INTER-LINKING where you pick an emotion you want to feel in a specific situation and generate it by linking it to a familiar positive experience you’ve had before! For example, before you walk into a potentially stressful meeting, recall and then feel in your body and emotions, a time when you feel calm and happy, e.g., petting your dog or cat, or have felt successful, e.g. climbed a steep trail, sang a song in front of others, received an award, etc. Takeaway: You have
tools inside you at all times that are available to you. All you have to do is recall or access that emotional positive quality to activate the feeling in your body too. Have fun with these tools! And please send me a note: carol@ itdoesntfeellikework.com. Or if you’re curious to learn more about your leadership acumen, check out: www. itdoesntfeellikework.com
Carol and Paul Benson are both accomplished mentors, authors, speakers and trainers. Carol, a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, specializes in emotional and relational intelligence strategies and leadership training for business teams. Paul Benson, a multimillion dollar business owner, is wellversed in cooperative team development, sales, negotiation and helping businesses improve their performance using unique best business practices. As authors of the highlyacclaimed book, “5 Steps to Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis as Opportunity,” (2013, Highpoint Life) Carol and Paul know firsthand what it takes to use a wider scope of mindsets as the competitive edge in a fastpast, ever changing global marketplace. itdoesntfeellikework.com firstname.lastname@example.org
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Authors Page Feature Your Book email@example.com eydisauthenticliving.com 111
SOUND WELLNESS FOR YOUR HEART 3 Tips for Nourishing Your Heart by Sharon Carne
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ebruary is Heart Month. It’s a time of the year when we turn our attention to our hearts. The Heart and Stroke Foundation reminds us to keep our heart healthy. Valentine’s
Day reminds us how important love and connection is to our wellbeing.
YOUR HEART’S ROLE MAY BE BIGGER THAN YOU THOUGHT
Your heart is one of the greatest miracles of life. For every moment of your life, it tirelessly sends life-giving nourishment to every particle of your body. But there is much more to your heart than the physical beating it does.
The Institute of HeartMath has been researching heart intelligence, stress, and emotional management since the early 1990s and has applied its findings to practical, easy-to-use tools that have been scientifically developed and tested. Here are some of the things that the Institute of HeartMath has discovered about the electromagnetic field of the heart: 1. The electromagnetic field of the heart can be measured eight feet away from the body. 2. The electromagnetic field of the heart is 5,000 times stronger than the electromagnetic field produced by the brain.
in addition to ribs, shoulders, arms and hands. It is located in the center of the chest between the nipples, a little to the right of your physical heart. The heart chakra is where we learn to understand our emotional nature. It is where we also learn about the higher qualities of love, like compassion, forgiveness, hope, empathy, trust, dedication and more. Your heart chakra serves as the connection point between the three lower chakras responsible for your physical self and the three upper chakras responsible for your spiritual self. The use of sound for healing is as old as the human family itself. We evolved with sound as a healer. It’s one of our first healers! So let’s look at some simple ways for you to nourish your heart. 3. The electromagnetic field of the heart can be measured in the brain waves of a person sitting beside you. 4. The heart contains 40,000 neurons. It contains its own brain. 5. When you are feeling positive emotions, like appreciation, the heart will synchronize with the brain. That is, they both function at the same frequency, giving your heart, brainand emotions more coherence. Another miracle of your heart is its role in your chakra 116 | Eydis Magazine
system. For those unfamiliar with chakras, I like to call them buttons that hold the physical and spiritual bodies together – where the spirit and body meet. The chakras interact dynamically. They collect energy from your environment and you release energy through them. There are seven main chakras. Each one oversees the activities of the area of the body where it is located. The heart chakra, the chakra in the middle of the seven, is the ‘grand central station’ of the whole system. It oversees the circulatory system, the respiratory system, and the immune system,
3 TIPS FOR HOW SOUND AND MUSIC CAN NOURISH YOUR HEART 1. Slow Down with a Slow Beat When you are feeling stressed, your heart beats fasterincreasing blood pressure. If you continue to feel stressed over the long term, this creates a tremendous load on your heart and leads to all kinds of health issues. Few people know that when you walk into the grocery store, where there is always music playing, it takes only MINUTES
for your heartbeat to match the beat of the music. You have no off switch to this response. It works even if you are paying no attention to the music. When the music changes your heartbeat, this also affects your breathing and brainwave rhythms. These three systems are intimately connected. When you change one of them, you change all three. Use this natural tendency of your heart to follow the beat of the music to help it to slow down. A relaxed heartbeat falls between 50 and 70 beats per minute. Check your music collection for music that has a beat that falls within this range. Even if the music is just played in the background, your heart will match the beat within a few minutes. Your breathing and brainwave state will follow along and your body will move into a relaxed state. 2. Back to Nature Nature sounds, like birdsong, gently bubbling water, waves or wind are sounds that create a healthy response. Most people feel relaxed, calm, focused and peaceful. Gentle bubbling sounds of a water fountain or stream calms you down. The crashing of waves is a wonderful way to distract the chattering mind. Wind can relax you with the gentle rustling of leaves in a summer breeze, delightful wind
chimes or even just listening to your own breath. Listening to birdsong creates a feeling of safety. Our ancestors knew that when the birds were singing, it was safe. When the birds stopped singing, there may be danger near. 3. Super Sound for Your Heart Have you ever noticed how deeply touching it is when someone sings to you? Just you? It might have been special people singing happy birthday or a best friend or lover singing a special song to you. It touches your heart like nothing else can. Sound (and music) is food for your nervous system. We all know that there is junk food, good food, and super food. There is also junk sound, like a jackhammer, or good sound, like softly bubbling water. There is a sound, that you can sing, that will touch your heart and nourish it deeply. That is super sound! And deeply nourishing self-care for your beautiful heart. Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master, and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness, whose programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you, support your health and so much more. www.soundwellness.com
Try this: • Bring your awareness to your heart, or heart chakra. • Sing a soft and gentle ahhhh as you continue to focus on your heart. • Notice if there is a response from your heart. • Adjust the sound, higher or lower, until you feel a tingling or warmth there. • Continue to sing this sound to your heart, for 5 to 20 minutes. • Notice your response. You may also want to journal, draw or write about your response. Nourishing your heart with the sound of your own voice is a wonderful way to support not only your physical health but your emotional health as well. eydisauthenticliving.com 117
PARTIES, PARTIES AND More Part
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by Annabel Cohen
Historically, the annual number of Super Bowl parties outnumbers New Year’s Eve parties by a whole lot. Personally, I couldn’t care less about the game. I am intrigued by the events surrounding the event – pre-game entertainment, half-time shows, and great commercials. If for no other reason, it’s a great chance to gather the troops for some good game vittles. Hot dogs and chili are popular choices. Then again, you could go warehousing and pick up everything from hummus to party trays, to any number of finger-licking fried items. The following recipes are superfriendly and super easy. They’re mostly eat-with-your-fingers foods that go beyond the expected and will feed a bunch. If you’re having a crowd, double or triple the recipes or serve more variety. Fajitas are just another version of the great sandwich. Tacos work well, too. Pulled barbecue brisket is just upmarket Sloppy Joes. And Chinese Cabbage and Apple slaw is gussied-up cole slaw. I also like to supplement menu choices with plenty of “snacks.” I fill individual bowls full of grape tomatoes, olives, cashews, mini pretzel nuggets and other quickie foods. Add some candy as well. A vase or tall glass stuffed with red and black licorice, M & Ms and other favorites are always sure winners. You simply can’t watch a Super Bowl game with eating. It can’t be done. It’s tradition. eydisauthenticliving.com 119
Grilled Chicken Fajitas Makes 6 servings.
You can make these with Flank steak skirt steak as well. You can add other sides, such as sour cream, refried beans, sliced olives, fresh lettuce, corn kernels or black beans (canned is fine), to name a few.
6 plum tomatoes (about a pound) 1 green or yellow bell pepper
½ cup chopped onion (any variety) or 1 cup chopped scallions (white and green parts) 1 Tbsp. olive oil
1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves
2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice, lime juice or red wine vinegar Hot red pepper sauce to taste Salt and pepper to taste
1 Tbsp. minced garlic
Sliced avocados or guacamole, garnish
1 1/2-2 pounds boneless and skinless chicken breast halves 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano, crumbled 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme, crumbled 1 Tbsp. hot red pepper sauce, such as Tabasco Juice of 1 lime
3 Tbsp. olive oil
1 large Spanish onion, or other mild onion, sliced thin (about 2 cups) 1 red bell pepper, sliced thin
1 green bell pepper, sliced thin
6-8 flour tortillas
Make salsa: Place tomatoes in the bowl of a food processor and pulse several times until finely chopped. Transfer the tomatoes and juices into a medium bowl. Repeat with the bell pepper and onion, (Do not chop all the vegetables at once). Add the remaining ingredients and season to taste. Cover and chill until ready to use, up to 2 days ahead. Make chicken: Combine all chicken ingredients in a large bowl and turn the chicken to coat. Cover and chill 30-minutes to several hours. Alternately place all ingredients in a zipper-style plastic bag and turn several times to coat. Chill for 30-minutes to several hours. Remove from marinade and grill on both sides on a hot grill until just cooked through, about 4-5 minutes on each side (do NOT overcook). Slice into thin strips and set aside while you prepare the vegetables. Prepare vegetables: Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and bell pepper and sauté until beginning to soften, about 6 minutes (don’t overcook or the vegetables will be mushy or limp). Combine the chicken and vegetables in a baking dish and keep warm at 225ºF for up to one hour before serving. Serve the fajitas with fresh, salsa, avocado slices or guacamole, if using, and tortillas on the side.
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Pulled Barbecue Brisket Makes 12 or more servings.
Although this made in the oven instead of slow cooking on a barbecue, the flavor is sweet and spicy with a wonderful combination of sweet and spicy flavors. I make my own barbecue sauce (recipe below) or use your favorite bottled sauce. I also serve these on small French rolls, but pretzel rolls or slider (small hamburger) buns work well, too. 5-6 pounds beef brisket, most visible fat removed 2 Tbsp. granulated garlic 1 tsp. ground pepper 2 Tbsp. kosher salt
3 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. chili powder
1-2 cups favorite barbecue sauce 2 Tbsp. red wine vinegar
1 Tbsp. hot pepper sauce, such as Tabasco, optional Preheat oven to 325ยบF. Place brisket in a roasting pan or disposable aluminum pan and sprinkle with the garlic, pepper, salt, sugar and chili powder. Cover the pan with foil and cook for 5 hours. Remove from the oven and cool completely (you may cook the beef up to a day ahead). Use your fingers to pull apart or shred the beef with the grain to very thin small pieces. Place the pulled beef in a pot with accumulated juices. Add all the sauce ingredients and stir to combine. Cook over medium heat until very hot and saucy. Keep warm until ready to eat. Serve the beef on small French rolls or burger buns. Serve with mustard or other condiments, if desired. eydisauthenticliving.com 121
Pecan Toffee Brownies 2 sticks (1 cup) butter or margarine
8 ounces good quality semi-sweet or bittersweet chocolate chips or chopped chocolate 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp. baking powder 1/2 tsp. salt
1 1/2 cups sugar 4 large eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup chopped toffee pieces Preheat oven to 350Â°F. Line the bottom only of an 8-inch square baking pan with parchment paper. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. Set aside. Combine butter and chocolate in a large microwave-safe bowl and cook on high for 2 minutes. Stir until smooth (if the chocolate is not completely melted, cook for 30-seconds more and stir again). Add the sugar, eggs, and vanilla to the chocolate mixture, stirring with a rubber spatula until uniform. Whisk or stir in flour mixture, then stir in nuts and toffee. Transfer the batter to the prepared baking pan. Bake for about 35 minutes. Allow to cool completely before running around the edge of the pan and turning the pan over onto a cutting board. Remove the paper from the brownies and cut them into 16-25 squares. 122 | Eydis Magazine
Chinese Cabbage and Apple Slaw Makes 8-12 servings.
1 medium head Napa or Chinese cabbage, shredded thinly 2 cups peeled chopped apple, any variety
2 cups seeded, diced cucumber 1 cup finely diced celery
1 cup chopped scallions, white and green parts 1 cup fresh chopped parsley
1/2 cup mayonnaise 1/3 cup sour cream
1/4 cup cider vinegar 2 tsp. Dijon mustard 1 tsp. sugar 1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp, celery seeds
Fresh ground pepper to taste
Annabel is a foodie. She’s a writer. A cooking instructor. An explorer. She’s a aesthete. She knows how to cook. Until fairly recently, Annabel only cooked for people she knows. Her catering, articles, blogs and ANNABEL COHEN COOKS DETROIT Facebook page have earned not just kudos, but awards as well. She was chosen as a Crain’s Detroit Business Magazine “Most Passionate Cooks” and has been profiled in: The Paper, HOUR Detroit, The Detroit News, The Detroit Free Press, The Big Idea, Oakland Press, Royal Oak Tribune, The Detroit Jewish News, Style Magazine, “LIVE in the D,” among others. She won “Best Caterer” in 2015 in The Detroit
Combine all salad ingredients in a large bowl and toss well. Set aside. Make the dressing: Combine dressing ingredients in a medium bowl and whisk well. Pour over the salad and toss well. Adjust salt and pepper to taste. Cover and chill until ready to serve. May be made up to a day ahead and tossed up to 2 hours before serving.
Jewish News, and in 2014 in HOUR Detroit magazine. She was voted “Best Brazilian Food” by Detroit Monthly magazine. Among countless television and radio appearances, Annabel was the deciding judge on the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” for a Detroit episode pitting rivals Lafayette Coney Island against American Coney Island. Annabel is an author. She co-authored “Eating for Acid Reflux” in 2003 and in 2013 created all the recipes for 2014’s “Fast Diets for Dummies.” As a stylist, Annabel has assisted in countless photo shoots and tested and styled recipes for ads, articles and even a few books she didn’t write. She’s also a cooking instructor and writer/columnist with articles that focus on her favorite things — food, travel and lifestyle.
by Pat Duckworth
his month can be a great time to start a new, healthier way of eating. To be honest, any month can be a good time to start a
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healthier way of eating, itâ€™s just that after the excesses of the holiday period, many of us resolve to make changes and lose some weight. Our
motivation may be very strong in January but starts to wane a bit in February if we are not seeing the results we want.
women who have yo-yo dieted and always ended up heavier than when they started. Research by Dr. David Hall of the US National Institutes of Health* and his colleagues found that the general advice has been that if you cut 500 calories from your daily diet or burn them off through exercise you can expect to lose 1lb (0.5kg) of weight every week. However, they say that it takes longer to lose weight and a year of dieting will result in only half the amount of weight that experts currently predict. Because of that, many people give up because they have unrealistic expectations. Maintaining a healthy weight is not a sprint. It is about developing a better relationship with food and new eating habits. Once these habits are established you donâ€™t have to think about them anymore. They become part of what you do automatically. Here are my top tips for achieving sustainable weight change.
TIP 1 RECOGNIZE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL HUNGER If you want to lose just a few pounds so that you can fit into a fabulous dress for an upcoming event, it may be appropriate to adopt a traditional diet
approach, reducing calories and carbohydrate intake. However, this is not a long-term strategy for sustainable weight loss. I have worked with too many
Physical hunger comes on slowly. You might gradually feel a loss of energy, loss of concentration, irritable, lightheaded, empty, hunger pangs in stomach and, eydisauthenticliving.com 125
finally, must eat now! If you eat something when you are physically hungry, the hunger indicators will gradually fade away.
• Drink before you eat rather than while you are eating. Liquids dilute your digestive juices.
Emotional hunger comes on suddenly. If you eat when you are emotionally hungry, you won’t know when to stop eating. You are likely to feel unsatisfied and possibly even sick.
• Concentrate on what you are eating with no distractions. Turn off the TV and put away the mobile phone or Tablet.
Eat when you are physically hungry and stop as soon as you are satisfied. Deal with the emotion that is giving rise to craving. (See Tip 5)
TIP 2 EAT MINDFULLY It is important to eat slowly and mindfully so that you hear the messages your body sends you when you have eaten sufficient to maintain a healthy weight: • Always eat at a table, even if it is only a snack or a treat.
• Take time to enjoy your food - look at, smell and taste the food • Slow down. Put down your knife and fork between every mouthful • Chew your food slowly and completely • As soon as you notice the ‘satisfied’ feeling, stop eating
TIP 3 BREAK THE PATTERNS If you regularly find yourself eating a cookie or chocolate or some other treat and you don’t
even remember picking it up, it is time to relocate some of the foods in your kitchen. Just by moving those foods to a different cupboard or drawer, you break the pattern of the habitual behavior. You wakeup from your grazing trance and you give yourself the opportunity to do something different. I have helped clients to stop smoking just with this simple action. Similarly, think about whether there is a regular time of day or a place that you sit when you eat something that you know your body does not need. Change your routine and do something different. If you always eat snacks while you are watching TV, sit in a different seat or move your side table away so that it is harder to have food next to you. Make it more difficult to do the unhelpful behavior.
TIP 4 STAY IN CONTROL Following on from Tip 3, make it easier for yourself to do the new healthier behavior. • Create a weekly meal plan and create a shopping list so that you always have the food you need in the house. • Limit your alcohol intake. Alcohol contains empty calories, that is, calories without nutritional benefits. It also disinhibits you so that you are likely to eat more and make less healthy choices.
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• Avoid buffets. Our brains are hardwired to take advantage of a wide range of food choices. It is difficult to resist the urge to have a taste of everything that is presented to you. • Use a smaller dinner plate. Your stomach only needs about a fist-sized portion of food at every meal. If you use a smaller plate it will be easier to limit your portion size.
TIP 5 PREPARE FOR CHALLENGES It is a good idea to create a non-food ‘Treat List’ to help you to deal with emotional hunger, those times when you would normally turn to food for comfort or reward. Write out a Treat List and display it somewhere prominent in your kitchen or use it as a screensaver on your mobile so
that you can find it easily. Here are some suggestions but your Treat List will be specific to you: • Call a friend for a chat • Go for a short walk • Listen to your favorite music track. Dance to it! • Write a thank you note • Make yourself a special cup of tea in a beautiful cup. • Give yourself a hand massage with a luxury lotion. • Have a shower or a bath. • Play a game. Finally, congratulate yourself for the days that go well and forgive yourself if the day does not go to plan. One day when you had a slice of cake with a friend or had a chocolate bar because your boss wound you
up does not mean you have failed. Let it go and start again. You can do it! You can download a FREE weight loss hypnotic recording at hotwomencoolsolutions.com Pat Duckworth is a midlife coach, author, and international public speaker. After 30 years working in the public and voluntary sector, Pat discovered her entrepreneurial mojo in her mid-50s and retrained as a therapist and coach. Since then she has published three books including the award-winning, ‘Hot Women, Cool Solutions’. Her fourth book, Hot Women Rock; How to discover your midlife entrepreneurial mojo, is published on October 4th. Pat is passionate about inspiring women to get the best from their lives, no matter what their age. Learn more athotwomencoolsolutions.com Twitter: @patduckworth Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ HWRentreprenuers/
Believe In Yourself