August 2017 My Authentic Life Magazine

Page 1



Authentic Life

Top 10 Tips



Frazzled FROM







Authentic Life


Imagine All the Possibilities Life has to Offer

Leverage Your Small Business To learn more, download your complimentary copy of: Get More Clients Now! 3 Steps to More Clients, More Money, and A Business You Love at


EXCELLERATE ASSOCIATES 42180 Ford Road, Suite 101A Canton, MI 48187 734.223.3938 |

Be The Creator Of

YourOwn Destiny

Start Your Own Magazine And Inspire Your Community

• Create your own financial abundance • Become the leader in your community • Dynamic training to ensure your success • Have a positive influence on educating, empowering and inspiring others • Be apart of a growing group of publishers

No Publishing Experience Required


Maria Rea As the founder of MY Authentic Life Magazine, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read our extraordinary publication. We aspire to empower and inspire you with articles written by our amazing writers. I believe we are all here for a reason greater than ourselves and to serve a divine purpose. It’s how we choose to react to what is placed before us that allows us to succeed.

Jennifer Knutson

Andrew Savoy

Art Director



Authentic Life


MY Authentic Life is a monthly publication that encourages others to live their best life. MY makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we do not make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of MY Media and Publishing Group. For inquiries e-mail 10 | MY Magazine

contributing writers

Kathryn Andries Patrick Andries The Dream Experts

Sharon Carne

Liberty Forrest

Mella Barnes

Annabell Cohen

Tamara Green

Liz Bull

Wini Curley

Dr. Nekeshia Hammond

Judy Lipson

Lisa Marie Platske

Catherine Saykaly-Stevens

Kate Sholonski

Dr. Kate Siner

Janette Stuart

Gary Stuart 11

from the publisher

Finding Your Strength Within

Most parents don’t plan on passing down dysfunction. It’s like throwing a pebble on a calm lake; the decisions and actions made leave a ripple effect for those around them. When we are born into a family, the people who have raised us, impact us. They have influenced us in both good, and bad ways, affecting how we look at the world. Many of us may have been raised around dysfunction, addictions, abuse, and poverty but that does mean that we are destined for that life. “That may have been where we come from, but that’s not who we are.” There are times when others have let us down making us feel less than we are, but it is important to remember that we are a masterpiece and we are fearlessly and wonderfully made. God (Your Higher Power) doesn’t make mistakes. Being raised in a dysfunctional family can often lead to many questions such as why me, why do I have to have this addiction or why was I abused.

“It’s not how we start that matters it’s how we finish.”

This is a destructive pattern that you don’t need in your life. Complaining or living in your past will not serve you. It is what you do with it moving forward that will make the difference. Trust that God has your back, a plan just for you. He is very aware of your circumstances and is ready to place miracles in your life. A friend of mine was raised under horrendous circumstances. His father was on the list of America’s 10 most wanted after escaping from prison for the murder of a young boy. His mother was a mess; she was an alcoholic, controlled by her husband and abusive as well. As a child, he saw and experienced thing he should have never seen or experienced. All of the odds were against him; he had no control of the family he was born into. He was sure to continue the pattern of abuse and become a statistic, passing down the same dysfunction. His role model was one of extreme hardship and abuse. In high school, he met a girl who is now his wife, his miracle. After meeting her and falling in love, he made the conscious decision that he was not going to pass down the same dysfunction that paralyzed his childhood. Together they broke the generational curse. Love wins every time. In Psalms 68 it says “God will be a father to the fatherless.” God see’s when you have no one to watching over you, no one to protect you. He sees when you are put into an unfair situation or harms way. Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eye can see. I challenge you to have the faith needed to see beyond your circumstances. Our destinies are ours, just because we have experienced hurt, abuse or dysfunction doesn’t mean we don’t have the strength to accomplish our dreams. You have it within you to overcome any obstacle; you have the courage to break out of the mold to set a new standard. You are already stronger than you know, and you have the right people lined up to give you what you need, all you have to do is step into your destiny and the rest will follow. Have a wonderful August

Maria Rea – Publisher 12 | MY Magazine

ity. n u m m o C l a Loc r u o Y o T e n i gaz a M Y M g n i r B o: t o g e r o m n To lear nce/ ia

med mymagazine


_a_di g n i k a m / m o group.c 13

Mind n Body Spirit n Busine Budget n HOLISTIC FOR HEALTH, LIFESTYLE AND BUSINESS Looking for holistic products, services and solutions? Find reference-reviewed options here.

Where the holistic business community comes together, online and in person The Holistic Chamber of Commerce stands for excellence among holistic, complementary, alternative, and sustainable professionals, practitioners and businesses. To become a member in your area go to

Camille Leon

To follow her blog, go to

ess Planet


page 24

Babak Kateb On The Cutting Edge Of Science

16 | MY Magazine

MY Authentic Life


Simply Spiritual

28 Name That Tune

48 My Biggest Life Fails and What They’ve Taught Me

74 The Dream Experts What Does Your Dream Mean

52 3 Keys to Handling Someone Else’s Negativity Vortex

76 Romantic Relationships & Soul Mates

34 My Dog Ate My Homework 38 How To Stop Mom Or Dad Guilt In Its Tracks 42 Summer of Love Season of Change

August 2017

56 Talk to Tamara 60 From Frazzled To Focus 64 How to Change Your Life When You Feel Stuck 68 Treating Yourself as a Precious Child

80 Universal Love

Wealth Consciousness 86 Understanding Facebook’s 4 Post Interactions

Healthy Living 92 Grain Bowls 98 Top 10 Tips To Stop Stress Now

ON THE CUTTING EDGE Of Science by Maria Rea

Babak Kateb 18 | MY Magazine


s a young child, when asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? Many of us had dreams of being Superman, Wonder Woman, or maybe even Spiderman; “with great power comes great responsibility,” as the tag line goes. The hopes that you could be an influential part of saving the world and making it a better place is what most of us aspire to do. Finding passion in your life’s purpose and changing the world is exactly what Babak Kateb has accomplished and continues to do every day through helping others who are experiencing the difficulties of brain trauma and cancer. Babak Kateb, MD has been a neuroscientist for more than 20 years and is the Founding Chairman of the Board and Scientific Director of the Society for Brain Mapping and Therapeutics (SBMT), and Brain Mapping Foundation. He is the

Director of the National Center for Nano-Bio-Electronics, the Director of Brain Technology and Innovation Park and the CEO of Smart Microscopy Inc. Babak’s research aids in finding solutions and cures for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Brain Injuries, Amputee’s, Therapeutics for MS and ALS, Brain Cancer, Autism and Alzheimer’s, amongst many other disorders, helping Wounded Warriors, Veteran’s with Brain Traumatic Injuries and Neurological disorders.

“It is a great pleasure to be soldier of science”

– Babak Kateb

Born in Iran and in the political spotlight, Babak’s father was a highranking officer of the Shah and served in the Iran/Iraq war ultimately experiencing PTSD. Following in his

Babak Kateb who was mandatory drafted to the Airforce as a combat medic in Iran/Iraq war in 1987 near the city of Basra in Iraq. 19

father’s footsteps at the age of seventeen, Babak, himself, was drafted to the redline of that same war, experiencing firsthand the trauma one goes through.

“My father is a great man who has sacrificed a lot. I have seen first hand what PTSD can do to a person. I have made it my life’s purpose to help those in need.”

From Left to right: Drs. Ray Chu (Neurosurgeon, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center), John Ralston (Chairman CEO, X2 Biosystems), Harry Kloor (Chemist and Physicist. SBMT Award Committee), Congressman Andy Harris (2016 Pioneer in Healthcare Policy Award Recipient), Selahattin Gultekin (Dean of Engineering at Uskudar University/ SBMT-Turkey/N20+ Turkey), Babak Kateb (Chairman of the Board of SBMT & Scientific Director, California Neurosurgical Institute-CNI), Parham Yashar (Neurosurgeon, Director of Endovascular NeuroSurgery, CNI), Slava Kalchenko (Head of Optical Imaging, the Weizmann Institute, G20+/N20+ Israel, SBMT-Israel), Vassiliy Tsytsarev (Scientist, University of Maryland, SBMT Board Member) and Ms. Gultekin (Uskudar University, SBMT-Turkey)

It was Babak’s life experiences of serving in the war that motivated him to create the Brain Mapping Foundation when the Iraq war started in 2003 focusing on helping Wounded Warriors. At the time Babak’s Foundation was one of the very few organization’s helping wounded soldiers. “My personal experience was from close up. In 1987, I was a combat medic and that is the advance science, technology and medicine was not integrated with actual combat casualty care; that is why I started the Brain Mapping Foundation. The idea was to bring different scientists together to help soldiers with PTSD, Brain Injuries, and Amputees. As time progressed it evolved to include many other disorders such as brainstem disorders and Alzheimer’s disease because my own job as research scientist had me laser focused on those diseases as well. “ In 1994, Babak came to the United States as a human rights activist. 22 years later, his work in advancing neuroscience and his interest in bio medical engineering, has led him to the expansion of Cancer Research and the detection of Brain Cancer and helping his other colleagues to publish their pioneering work in medical Journals affiliated with the SBMT.

2016 Brain Mapping Foundation gala attendees and honorees included, from left, astronaut Dr. Janet Kavandi, Ret. U.S. Marine Corporal Kyle Carpenter, Dr. Bennet Omalu and SBMT CEO Dr. Kateb. 20 | MY Magazine

Through the expansion of his work, Babak heads a global initiative to bring all scientists

The Society for Brain Mapping and Therapeutics (SBMT) is a non-profit society organized for the purpose of encouraging basic and clinical scientists who are interested in areas of Brain Mapping, engineering, stem cell, nanotechnology, imaging and medical device Babak Kateb as he presents an award to SMG Co- Babak Kateb with admiral Bono (head of the US lin Rich, a wounded solider, with Admiral Mullen, military healthcare) and his father Ret. Gen Jabbar to improve the diagnosis, treatment, chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. Kateb. and rehabilitation of patients afflicted with There is no amount neurological disorders. of joy that can match that; these people are The Foundation is a non-profit remarkable scientists that 501c3 charitable organization, spend their entire lives established for the purpose selflessly and dedicate of facilitating multidisciplinary their every minutes to brain and spinal cord research. discovery. I am honored The Brain Mapping Foundation to work with them.” focuses on translating stateof-the-art technologies into What is Brain Neurosurgery in order to bring Mapping? the most advanced medicine to Brain Mapping is our wounded warriors. specifically defined as the study Drs. harry Kloor, Shouleh Nikzad and Babak Kateb presenting Beacon of Courof the anatomy and function The Brain Mapping Foundation age and Dedication award to Professor of the brain and spinal cord has been a global success Steven Hawking. through the use of imaging, in Neuro Science Initiatives and surgeons together, Immunohistochemistry, because the organization working for the greater Molecular & optogenetics, strongly believe we should good of introducing the next Stem cell and Cellular Biology, avoid billions of dollars in generation of diagnostics and Engineering, Neurophysiology, treatment by preventing therapeutics. and Nanotechnology. disorders and or investing in Brain mapping can be biotechnology research to “I can’t tell you how amazing conceived as a higher form introduce much more effective, it is to be associated with of neuroimaging, producing percussion guided and such gifted pioneers and brain images supplemented personalized therapeutics. how delightful it is to bring by the result of additional data recognition to scientists who processing or analysis, such as For example, Alzheimer’s have been pioneering ideas and maps projecting behavior onto disease costs the US economy achieve their goals. brain regions. near $200 billion per year and 21

Babak Kateb as chairman of the G20 summit /N20

The principal goal of the G20 Summit Brain Mapping Initiative or N20 Initiative is to facilitate global partnership and collaborations amongst already existing brain initiatives and advocate for global harmonization of clinical trials and data sharing, which will enable researchers find new ways to treat, cure or prevent brain disorders, such as Alzheimer’s disease, epilepsy, and traumatic brain injury. if the Dementia was a country it would be number 18th the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) because Dementia costs the world economy near $1T. Therefore the Foundation has been very active in last 15 years creating global brain initiatives including G20 Brain Mapping Initiative/Neuroscience-20. On October 12th, 2016 Babak and his colleagues briefed to the Australian Parliament formulating and advocating for the Australian Brain initiative. He has spoken at the Canadian Parliament convincing the parliamentarians and the 22 | MY Magazine

science minister of Canada, Hon. Kirsty Duncan, to start the Canadian brain initiative. He has met with key scientists and officials in the Middle East to start the Middle East and North Africa Brain Initiative. In 2014 he traveled to South Africa meeting with key scientists and policymakers jump starting African brain initiative. On June 5th, 2017 he chaired the G20 Summit’s Neuroscience-20 (N20) in Hamburg Germany advocating for German Brain Mapping Initiatives. Not to mention that he worked closely with President Obama’s White house on the BRAIN initiative.

Giving Back “If you love what you do, it’s not a job, it’s really like a hobby, and when you put your creativity and energy into it, it becomes truly a different type of activity and the outcomes are truly stunning.” The Society for Brain Mapping and Therapeutics (SBMT) and Brain Mapping Foundation(BMF) also shine a light on others who are making a positive impact in the world. In 2009 Army Sergeant Major Colin Rich was awarded the

Patrick Soon-Shiong (from left), CEO of Abraxis BioScience; Dustin Hoffman; and Babak Kateb, researcher at the California Institute of Technology. Soon-Shiong and Kateb presented Hoffman with an award from the International Brain Mapping and Intraoperative Surgical Planning Society.

Beacon of Courage and Dedication Award for his bravery after being shot in the head in Afghanistan in 2002 at the gala of BMF at Harvard Medical School. The award presented to Colin by Chairman of the Joint Chief of the US military Admiral Mike Mullen. In 2016 Corporal Kyle Carpenter who was the recipient of Presidential Medal of Honor from President Obama was recognized for his role on shedding light on brain trauma and PTSD at the gala of BMF in Miami.

These bi-Partisan Awards have been given to Senator Ted Kennedy, Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford, Nancy Pelosi, Congressman Andy Harris and Congresswoman McMorris Rogers. The foundation also recognizes individuals who

have significantly increase public awareness about the neurological disorders through an award called “The Beacon of Courage and Dedication award”. In 2015 Professor Steven Hawkins was awarded the Beacon of Courage and Dedication Award. Professor Hawkins is a living ALS medical miracle. At the same time, an award was given to Intel for the pioneering technology development, which allowed Professor Hawkins to communicate through a computer. The foundation recognizes the important role of the community leaders in advancing the science. Thus, the Golden Axon Award is aimed at recognizing excellence in scientific leadership. This award is given to individuals outside the medical community that have a major influence and are inspirations, thanks to their

“It was such an incredible honor and privilege for me to present the award to this superstar American hero; this was one of the hallmarks of my life especially with Kyle’s mother on his side,” said Babak. The foundation also recognizes policy makers who help advance research and better healthcare delivery to the patients with the neurological disorders.

Inaugural textbook of Nanoneurosurgery and Nanoneuroscience; Inaugural Textbook of Neurophotonics and Brain Mapping, 3 special issues of NeuroImage, special issue of SPIENeurophotonics on Brain Mapping and a special collection of PlosOne-Neuro-mapping and Therapeutics (not in the picture) are co-edited by Babak Kateb and his colleagues. 23

that is open to the public. All walks of life come together to be a part of the amazing journey of innovation, technology, and development.

Babak Kateb started the USC Marathon team in 2003 when he was at the USC track and field team; he is a 15th times Marathon runner. “ science is like marathon you have to be in it with complete commitment, have the endurances, camaraderie and passion to make a difference” said Babak Kateb.

good will and warm interest in science, medicine, and technology. There is a host of awards that are issued each year for the amazing heroism and work that others do. If you would like to learn more to donate to the Brain Mapping Foundation Visit www.

Gathering For Cure In its 15th year, the Brain Mapping Foundation is bringing Hollywood stars and International Dignitaries together for their 15th Annual Black Tie Awards Gala,

24 | MY Magazine

The goal of this extraordinary event is to emphasize awareness in order to raise the necessary funding to support brain research around the world and to recognize and honor the pioneering scientist who have invented life-saving therapeutics and diagnostic tools. The “Gathering For Cure” is designed to bring others together to meet the scientists responsible for the amazing work that is being done for ALS, DTSD, MS, Autism, Alzheimer’s, Cancer, Wounded Warriors and Veteran’s with Brain Traumatic Injuries. Oscar Award Winning Actor, Dustin Hoffman, has a great respect for the work that these scientists do and attends the Gala in the past in support of their work. Mr. Hoffman was the recipient of the Beacon of Courage Award in 2008, for his exceptional performance as Raymond in the movie Rain

Man. Playing an Autistic man, Mr. Hoffman brings awareness and understanding to the disease. Having researched Autism for two years before playing his character, Mr. Hoffman knows first hand the difficulties that can occur. The 15th Annual “Gathering for Cure.” Black Tie Award Gala of Brain Mapping Foundation is Saturday, April 14th, 2018, in Los Angeles, CA at the Millennium Biltmore Hotel. If you would like to attend or to learn more about the event visit: Annual-Awards-Gala/ All Tickets purchased for the event are considered donations and thus 100% tax deductible. The goal of the Gala is to raise the funds needed while shining a light on the society of scientists who are making a difference by advancing science. Scientists such as Drs. Bennet Omalu (Will Smith played him in the movie called concussion) who discovered the correlation between Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy and football; John Adler who developed Cyberknife for close brain surgery/radiosurgery for brain cancer; Patrick Soon Shiong who was founding chairman of Abraxis Bioscience and invented Abraxan nano drug treating millions with breast and lung cancer and Alim Louis Benabid who invented Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) for the treatment of Parkinson’s disease are amongst the recipients of the pioneer in

medicine award from the Brain Mapping Foundation. The Foundation and the Society has given voice to the scientist by holding annual 6 Brain Mapping Days at the US Congress so far engaging and educating policymakers about the latest scientific progress in the field. The Foundation and the Society have endorsed two inaugural textbooks edited by Babak one is on Nanoneurosurgery and Nanoneuroscience and the other one is about Neurophotonics and Brain Mapping. These organizations have published special issue Journals in partnership with NeuroImage, PloSOne, and SPIE bringing pioneering science and innovation to the world in last 15 years.

Art An artist himself, Babak believes in the importance of bringing art and science together. “The rule of Art is very important to us, and every year we are

able to shed light on artists amazing work at our Gala. If you look at the slogan of the Society for Brain Mapping and Therapeutics – Breaking Boundaries of Science, Technology, Medicine, Art & Healthcare, Art is an important part of our mission” Babak shares. “When you are building a piece of art, you basically are using different colors and shapes, combining different ideas and putting them on a canvas. You bring the same type of innovation to the work that we, as scientists, do.” Art is very important in the recovery process of so many, and in therapeutics, it is important for expression and creative awareness. Art brings people together and can start a conversation on difficult topics. Bringing Art to the Gala is a great representation of artistic freedom and self-expression. It allows us to focus on the bigger picture, which is what we do as scientists.” he continued. It takes a village to raise

a child and a society of scientists to move the needle forward to find a cure to change the world. “The key to our success is public support and people could be part of such scientific discovery and innovation by donating to the foundation, participating in our annual gala fundraiser and engage with our programs and initiatives. We not only can introduce game-changing therapeutics and diagnostic to help patients with neurological disorders, reduce the cost of healthcare and enable delivery of precision and personalized medicine, but also could engage venture philanthropist in this efforts so we can create biotech jobs in the US through our Brain Technology and Innovation Park initiative” Babak concludes. To find out how you can make a difference, visit: http://www.brain http://www. worldbrainmapping. org/Brain-Technologyand-Innovation-Park/ brainmapping. org/G20-WorldBrain-MappingTherapeuticsInitiative/ http://www. worldbrainmapping. org/National-Centerfor-Nano-BioElectronics/

Babak Katebs’ medical illustrations. 25

MY Authentic Life

NAME THAT TUNE by Sharon Carne


ave you ever heard one of those “Name that tune� contests on the radio? The radio host will play two or three seconds of a song and invite people to call in with the name of the song. The first caller with the correct answer wins a prize.

are found in the field of Psychoacoustics.

Dozens of people usually call in and most of them have the correct answer!


How do we do that? From two or three seconds? Have you ever wondered why listening to bird song, a gentle wind in the trees or bubbling water is so calming? Why does a car horn or siren put you immediately on alert? The answers to most of these questions

28 | MY Magazine

Psychoacoustics is the study of how humans perceive sound including the psychology of sound. There are several fields of study within the field of psychoacoustics. One aspect of this field of study includes the physics of sound and how it travels. Most people are quite surprised to discover that sound moves through the human body faster than it moves through the air.


Another aspect of psychoacoustics includes the study of the physical process of how we hear. How the pressure created by sound pushes on our eardrums, how this pressure is transferred to the inner ear, decoded and sent to the brain is fascinating. 29


Finding out where sound goes in the brain is a new branch of study in the field of neuroscience. Magnetic imaging results of this process light up practically the entire brain. You may have heard of Daniel Levitin and/or his book, This is Your Brain on Music. In his book, Levitin explains how it is that we can identify a song in two seconds or less. Subjects in his experiments get a snippet of only one-tenth of a second to identify the song – and most of them can do it!


There is also the study of how music or certain sounds change our mood. The research within this aspect of psychoacoustics is extensive. 30 | MY Magazine

When I was pregnant with our second child, I was learning how to play the lute. The lute was popular for hundreds of years, especially in Europe. It fell out of fashion during the 1700s. The lute is a fascinating instrument with a huge repertoire of beautiful music. My lute is a copy of one in a German museum that was built in 1685. The back of the lute is round, which makes it a bit tricky to hold on to as you play. As I reached the late stages of pregnancy, it was a lot like my abdomen, only in the opposite direction.

Trying to hold and play the lute was like trying to balance one basketball on top of another. I managed though and enjoyed my practice. It is well known that a fetus can hear by the fourth month of pregnancy. Our son became accustomed to the soft sounds of the lute through my stomach throughout his gestation. I found it fascinating that after he was born, if I played my lute or even a recording of lute music when he was really fussy or crying, he would immediately stop crying and listen to the music. It was consistently a dramatic change in his mood.

I just wish it had worked as well when he became a teenager.


In addition to the studies of the effect of music and/or sound on our mood, there are many studies of the effect of music on us physically, such as changes in blood pressure, heart rate, brainwave state, pain and more. There is some overlap with mood here as some of these physical changes can create a change in our mood.


Psychoacoustics informs the technology and the development of music listening devices and music formats for digital music, like MP3. To create an MP3, the original music file is compressed to create an MP3 format. With

detailed knowledge of how we hear, this format was created so that most of us really can’t tell the difference between a higher quality soundtrack and an MP3 version of the track.


The term, applied psychoacoustics has been used to describe music that has been created using psychoacoustic knowledge and principles to make a specific change in your physiology, your mental state or your mood. Applied psychoacoustic music is engineered with a specific intention. Some of these intentions might include helping you to go to sleep, enhancing focus and concentration, helping you to be more

productive, creating relaxation easily and so much more. Music producer, Joshua Leeds, is a world authority on applied psychoacoustics. His book, The Power of Sound, is an excellent source of information on this subject. You are intimately wired to respond to sound from your atoms to your energetic networks. Music and sound can either create more stress in your life or make your life so much easier. We often ignore the sound around us, but that doesn’t stop it from affecting you. I encourage you to become aware of the music and sound around you and how it makes you feel, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When you become more aware of the sound and music around you, you are empowered to make choices that support your well-being in so many ways. Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness and the Sound Wellness Institute. Through the Sound Wellness Institute, holistic health practitioners receive the highest level of competency training in using sound and music to support their practice. Sound Wellness programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you and support your health. 31


32 | MY Magazine


C.H.A.N.G.E. Creating Hope and Awareness and Nurturing Growth through Empowerment The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation was founded to inspire a movement of C.H.A.N.G.E. by providing all children and youths with the tools to overcome any adversity and help them to realize their full potential to soar! Based in Oakland County Michigan, this nonprofit organization offers: Community Outreach Programs Creative Art Programs Scholarship Programs Legislative Initiatives Your donation goes directly to helping kids find their voice The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation has successfully helped to change laws in several states to better protect children.

Each year 1-in-4 girls and 1-in-6 boys are victims of abuse. Let’s help these children find their voice. Founded in 2007 by Chip and Lisa St. Clair, and based on his bestselling memoir, The Butterfly Garden, the St. Clair Butterfly Foundation utilizes the power of creative arts, literature, and overall well-being to impact the lives of children facing adversity. Listen to Chip and Lisa’s radio show: The Divine Frequency: Turning Your Passion Into Purpose Tuesday at 9:30 am Eastern Time on Empower Radio

Your donation gives the greatest gift to a child! 33 It shows that they are loved and that they deserve to be heard.


by Liberty Forrest

“I’d love to help out but I have to go to this Thing.” “I wish I could but I’ve got a prior commitment.”

The list goes on and on. We can all be really good at making excuses when it suits us. But what exactly does that mean? Why would it “suit us” to make excuses?

“I’ve been meaning to do that but I’ve just been so busy.”

That’s easy. We’re afraid of something.

And the least imaginative (i.e. the laziest excuse) of all, “I can’t. I have to wash my hair.”

“Oh, no,” you might be thinking. “Not every excuse is about fear!”

34 | MY Magazine

Oh, yes. It is. Every single one of them will be about a fear of something. There are the excuses we make when someone asks us to go to some event or other and we have absolutely no interest. But we’re afraid we’ll offend them, or they might not like us, or they’ll be angry or insulted. We don’t dare just say “No, thanks.”

There are the excuses we make when we’re dating but discover behaviors or attitudes that we just don’t like in the people we’ve been seeing, and we decide we don’t want to see them anymore. They suggest getting together and we avoid their phone calls, or tell them repeatedly, “I can’t, I’m busy that night,” until they finally figure it out and quit asking.

Or we might go so far as to tell them as gently as possible that “…it’s just not working out.” But when they ask what we mean, we say “It’s not you…it’s me,” when we know perfectly well that’s not at all how we really feel.

Then there are the Mothers of all Excuses. The ones we tell ourselves about why we can’t do something that benefits us. Why we can’t pursue our goals. Why we don’t take chances, let opportunities slide past us, walk away from our dreams.

But we are afraid, to be honest, afraid to hurt their feelings, afraid to stand up for ourselves.

We tell ourselves we’ve just been too busy lately or it would cost too much or it would 35

upset someone if we got this or achieved that. We’re loaded with excuses that we sugar coat as “reasons” so we can cram them down our own throats, foolishly thinking that others can’t see the truth about our cowardice. The worst of it is that most of what we fear won’t happen anyway. And it’s usually just based on self-destructive and inaccurate beliefs such as, “I’m a failure; I’ll fail at this, too.” Or “Nothing good could happen to me. I know it won’t work out so I’ll save myself the disappointment.” Excuses are always dishonest. They’re a feeble attempt to hide – or at least ignore – the truth. And the truth of excuses is that they are always about fear. 36 | MY Magazine

When we make decisions based on fear, there will never be a good outcome. It restricts growth and learning. We stay stuck in the same place, thinking the same thoughts, having the same experiences, fearing the same things as we’ve always done. We cannot move ahead if we don’t take risks, be honest, face the truth about who we are, how we feel, what we want and need for our lives. And that is a terrible waste. The next time you hear yourself about to offer an excuse to anyone for anything – including and especially if it’s to yourself – stop and think about what it is that’s keeping you from speaking the truth. Try to determine why you’re doing

your level best to shoot yourself in the foot. Examine the fear that has twisted itself into an attempted justification for the excuse you are about to make. It is only when you face that fear and address it that you will be able to continue on the journey toward being all you’re meant to be. Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution.

Imagine Being The Leader Of Your Community By Owning Your Own Customized Local Magazine!


It’s a Lifestyle!

As a magazine expert, I guarantee a return on your investment within your first 4 published magazines using my unique and successfully proven method. I will take you step by step through my guaranteed process as I consult you every step of the way. Your local print magazine with an online presence gives your readers and advertisers the support they need, making your magazine the who’s who in your community. It thrives on the incredible relationships created, making “YOU” a leader in the heart of your community.

Be a Part

of the Movement


38 | MY Magazine



oday started off as a good day. You got the kids up on time for school. Their clothes match and the lunches were packed – they were even healthy lunches. Then, your boss asked you to stay late today, and wham! You’re almost instantly overcome with guilt because you realize it means you’re going to miss your daughter’s soccer game. Sound familiar? The truth is moms and dads suffer from guilt for a variety of reasons. Perhaps it wasn’t because of missing a sporting event. Maybe you learned your friend’s kids are already learning their third language. Or it could have been something that on the surface seems trivial to you, like finding out that your neighbor’s family took stunning portraits on the beach. It could even be something that was important like forgetting to send a coat or umbrella with your kids one day. Parent guilt can creep up anytime over just about anything.

Can I let you in on a little not-so-secret secret? Mom and dad guilt isn’t doing anything good for you, and it’s certainly not doing anything for your children. Although parent guilt is completely normal, you don’t have to let it take over your life. With that in mind, here are a few things that you can do to feel less guilty: 1. Realize that perfection is a myth. Regardless of what Pinterest or Facebook may lead you to believe, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. It’s unattainable, and therefore striving for it will only lead you to disappointment. The better option is to simply strive for progress, not perfection. Progress is always achievable, and you’ll feel more like a winner. Another note regarding social media – keep in mind that everyone posts the happiest moments. Sure, there are some people who post both. However, for the most part, people are projecting the best times. 39

you were stressed but avoided raising your voice. It all counts! I’d be willing to bet you have done a lot for your children. Soak it all in. Give yourself a pat on the back for all of those things you have done. Realize that the things you have done for your kids, not everyone does those things.

Steve Furtick may have said it best when he said, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is that we compare our behindthe-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Social media is everyone’s highlight reel. Don’t forget that it could have taken 1,000 bad moments for people to post that one happy shot. 2. Consider all you have done for your children up to this point. One of the biggest reasons people struggle with guilt about things they have not done for their kids, is they focus on that rather than what they have done. Think about all the instances you’ve carved out time just for them. Remember the moments that you let them pick the movie or the menu for dinner. The stories you’ve read them at bedtime. The bath times you splashed and played together. The evenings 40 | MY Magazine

3. Communicate often with your children. Want to know if you’re doing a good job in keeping them happy? Communicate with them and check in on their feelings. Yes, there may be times that they express unhappiness over not getting their way, or that you didn’t do something. On the other hand, this is your chance to talk with them and let them know how much you love them, and that no matter what happens you are their biggest cheerleader doing everything you can for the betterment of the family.

could be a friend, a counselor, a pediatrician, etc… Simply checking in with them to assess your child’s overall health and happiness could be all the reassurance you need. Then again, you might need someone just for you to talk to so you can ease your own concerns. 5. Finally, make sure you’re taking care of you first. Many parents struggle with guilt over not giving enough to their children, because they are too exhausted or feel they have nothing left to give. You can’t give from an empty cup, so it’s imperative you practice selfcare so that you can be a better parent. Getting enough sleep, eating healthier meals, and moving your body more are just a few ways you can give yourself the energy you need to be more present in your children’s lives. You can even make selfcare a family affair. Working together for everyone to feel their best? Sounds like a great idea for crushing guilt to me!

4. Get a support system in place. You don’t have to bear the burden of child rearing on your own. For example, if you feel like you’ve failed your kids in helping them with homework, you could get a tutor. Or if you don’t like the idea of always putting them in an aftercare program, maybe you could ask a friend to pick them up from school and watch them until you get home from work once in a while.

Nekeshia Hammond, Psy.D. is a psychologist, speaker, and author of The Practical Guide to Raising Emotionally Healthy Children. Dr. Hammond has been featured on WFLA News Channel 8, Tampa Bay Times, Essence, Tampa Bay Parenting, CBS Boston, Ebony and other media outlets sharing her expertise on children and parenting. Check out the Hammond Psychology blog at www.

When mom or dad guilt really gets you down, you might need to bring in reinforcements. This

Twitter: @Dr_Hammond FB: Dr. Nekeshia Hammond Instagram: @practicalparenting


YOUR BUSINESS SHOULD BE TOO! If you struggle with marketing, sales, branding or your overall vision we can help. To find out how you can move your business forward set up a discover call with Maria at maria.

“Faith Is Taking the Step Even When You Don’t See the Whole Staircase.” – Martin Luther King Jr.


SEASON OF CHANGE! by Gary Stuart

42 | MY Magazine


ow! Summer of Love 2017 is flying by! Still swinging 50 years later.

*Note to self “Always Expect the Unexpected” It used to be the Vietnam War raging, assassinations by guns, white college student lives didn’t matter, Marijuana was the rage, the newest drug was Excedrin and racial segregation was collapsing as we reached for the Moon!

The key is in how we react to it all as it seems different but similar to what has happened before. LIFE and its drama continues Generation after Generation Can we STOP taking stock and be present as we go with the FLOW? Do we really have to REACT or just stay calm and Observe the dramas of life as they unfold?

“The more things CHANGE the more they stay the SAME” 43


LOVE IS humbling, vulnerable and touching to the heart. This is always the perfect and best place to start. LOVE IS needing and conceding to what we don’t know, as it really isn’t us who is running the show. Let LOVE humble you in ways you cannot comprehend. Show tears of vulnerability as you reach out your hand to touch the heart of a stranger or a very dear old friend. LOVE IS, after all, as big as an ocean or a tree standing tall or a single teardrop, most precious and small.

Tips for INNER PEACE: 1. Let go of how you think things should manifest! 2. The last thing anyone needs is an ego driven frenzy or a battle of wills during a challenging time. 3. See that LIFE has bigger plans and its own crazy flow where you get to learn to surrender. At the very least be present and witness it. “Isn’t that interesting?” 4. Above all ACCEPT the Divine Comedy as it is. Sometimes control makes it worse. 5. If I leave you with one BIG TIP! It’s let others carry the responsibility for what is theirs. It is not necessarily LOVE if you foster codependency.

Taking Stock:

Remember part of life’s MAGIC is to make us Strong enough to survive everything that comes to you on the way accept death.

What dramas are going on with your life?

Go out and take chances, as that is what LOVE IS.

Do they seem to repeat only with different Circumstances?

Be simple and generous and willing to give;

Does any of this remind you of your family growing up? Do you feel trapped in your own hell? Or trapped in another’s not of your own making? Is there a way out? Are you stuck? Do you feel hopeless? If you feel all the above are true you could not be living your EMPOWERED life but more like a victim. Sometimes it takes seeing what IS and then making small but important changes to manifest a different and fulfilled destiny! Life is a drama, and will go on with or without you! It really is in how we cope with challenges that come our way. That’s where self-EMPOWERMENT comes in which can make ALL the Difference. In the Worst-case scenario, the Drama will pass you by!

44 | MY Magazine

This is, after all, what LOVE really IS. Speaker, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several decades. As a young student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on the correlation between the micro and macro-cosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first book on Constellations Many Hearts, One Soul set the stage for his latest book Master Your Universe: How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at He leads healing workshops and trains nationally and internationally and resides in Los Angeles. Distance Family or Organizational Constellations are his healing specialty! He’s coming back to Detroit in August 2017 to WOW again! Give a GIFT that keeps on giving - CHANGE. Constellation Healing GIFT CERTIFICATES plus packages available.His FREE Consultation: www. and online www.

Lynn Darmon PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER Lynn is a Psychic Medium born with clairvoyant, clairaudient and precognitive abilities. She first became aware of this gift at age five. As she grew older her abilities developed, receiving messages from the Other Side, first from family members who’d passed and then messages from loved ones of people around her. Lynn describes this gift of guidance from Spirit as “Second Sight.” During a reading, Lynn will take you on a journey from your past where she will peek into your childhood, to the present and offer you channeled guidance from Spirit as you continue on your Spiritual Path into your future. Serving as a conduit between the Spirit World and this world, Lynn conveys messages from those who have passed with the intention of providing validation, healing and further guidance to their loved ones here. Most recently featured on

Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.

31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 • Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon SERVICES PROVIDED: In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype

• In home


46 | MY Magazine



have failed a lot. I’ve failed at pretty much everything you could fail at (except school, because I was a total nerd and got straight A’s). Each of these 48 | MY Magazine

failures was heartbreaking at the time, but I’ve learned valuable lessons from them that I’d like to share with you. Hopefully, my failures will make yours seem

less terrible. If not, maybe at least you’ll get a good laugh! I didn’t get a part in my middle school talent show

but the teacher said she liked it and I would be able to perform. When the list came out, my name wasn’t on it. I was confused because literally, everyone else who had auditioned was on the list. I assumed it was a mistake, so I went to rehearsals anyway. The teacher told me in front of the entire group of about 80 students that she took me off the list because “it was clear I wasn’t professional enough to perform.” I left in tears. No one had explained the level of professionalism required in a middle school talent show. What I learned: During my audition, I noticed my peers dancing to my song. Students who normally bullied me were enjoying my performance. I got compliments later, and several students said they couldn’t believe how mean the teacher had been. I learned that your top critics don’t always matter. Whitney Houston (my queen) was trashed by critics for every single album and movie she released. She is still one of the top-selling female artists of all time, so what does it really matter?

This was a show that pretty much guaranteed everyone would get a part. I had never sung in public before and was very nervous in my audition,

I didn’t get into either college I wanted Both of the colleges I wanted turned me down. I had a 4.0 and was on the honors list every year, but for whatever reason (neither explained why), I was not accepted. I spent days crying in bed. Then I got up and applied to my local community college, where I took the same exact classes for half the cost.

What I learned: Education is super important, but I truly believe that *what* you know is more important than *where* you learned it. This might not be true if you’re going for top corporate positions, but I am honestly really glad I didn’t get into either of those colleges. I’d still be paying off my debt if I had! I didn’t marry the person I thought I would When I found out they had been cheating on me throughout the majority of our relationship, I had to unravel the part of my brain that had planned ahead. It’s easy to assume your life path, far less easy to erase and start over. It took at least a month to let go of the anger and hurt. What I learned: Dogs are the best, seriously. My two BFFs who kept me going through this were two hand-sized Chihuahuas, who are still my best buddies today. I also learned that relationships are great, but I shouldn’t plan my life based on what *might* happen with them. It took way too long to get my life back on track, and I would have saved a lot of time if I hadn’t put all my eggs in one basket. I learned that you can (and will) get over it and meet someone new and better, who will make you wonder what you ever saw in the other person. Also, if someone is wrong for you the first time, they will be wrong for you every other time. Don’t keep trying to make it work. Don’t allow them back into your life. FYI: this person tried to add 49

me on Facebook recently, and I said “LOL block” immediately. I didn’t get a record deal When I was working on my first album, I was offered a demo deal by a major label. This is not a full record deal, but it is the gateway to getting one. If all went well, I would be signed and have an album release. I’m sure you can guess that all did not go well. The company made some changes and the person who signed me was transferred, which meant my deal was left hung out to dry. Someone else within the company could have picked it up, but no one did. The worst part was there was never a phone call or notice that I had been dropped. I simply waited months with no response before I finally realized I had been ghosted. 50 | MY Magazine

What I learned: This is very industry-specific, but if you’re a musician, make sure you negotiate to keep the songs you write under the deal. This is so important! If I hadn’t done this, they would have owned all of those songs despite not signing me. Thankfully I was able to keep and release them myself. I also learned that honestly, whatever happens, will be fine. I don’t necessarily believe that whatever is “meant to happen” will happen, but I think that regardless of what happens, everything will be okay. Life will fall into place. I honestly don’t think I would have enjoyed the life of a signed artist. I am much more comfortable behind the scenes, and I get to do that now. My career is fully under my control.

I honestly had so many failures I had a hard time choosing which ones to tell you. I chose these because they were major turning points in my life (except for the middle school one, which was more of a mental turning point). I hope that whatever failures you’ve had, you’ll be able to learn valuable lessons from them. I also hope you’ll see that although I’ve had these failures, none of them ruined my life. In fact, I would argue that my life is considerably better because of them. If you’re struggling with a failure currently, it might take some time before you can see the lesson or the benefit. That’s okay. Work your way through it, then reflect on it when you’re ready. I’m celebrating and honoring my failures this month, and I hope you will do the same!

Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville, Tennessee. Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit

August is national awareness month This month be aware of your:

Health Actions Thoughts

Be aware of your surroundings and notice the world around you.



52 | MY Magazine

by Wini Curley, Ph.D.


ave you ever been sucked into someone else’s negativity vortex? Notice the aspects of Louise’s story below that are familiar to you. “I am at my Mom’s house early tonight to get dinner going. I even beat my husband and kids here. I had a great day, and before I can stop myself, I ask my Step-Father Fred “How was your day?” Big mistake. I shouldn’t open that door. I steel myself against the flood of bitterness and never ending complaints. It drains me to constantly hear about how his knees hurt, his stomach is off, his back hurts, the pain meds make him itch, nothing is going right, everything in his world is terrible. How can he be so blind and stubborn? He is surrounded by a loving family and has support to make better choices about his diet and exercise that will help him feel better. But Fred refuses to do any of that. He is completely committed to being miserable, and I swear he wants all of the rest of us to join him. It makes me so angry that I allow his negativity to contaminate me. I love my Mom, but Fred is such a phenomenal pain to be around. I just don’t understand why my Mom has enabled his negative attitude and behavior for all these years. She isn’t like that at all.”

Louise emailed me this story in between our regular coaching sessions. She reached out because she was highly frustrated with herself for getting sucked into someone else’s negative energy vortex. We have all been there. Since we have no control over another person’s choices or attitude, we can only address our own response to being around them. What is your negativity vortex challenge? Is there someone you constantly deal with at work or in the family who can rob you of your usual positive mood at the drop of a hat? Perhaps you run up against the negative energy vortex in more random situations. In either case, here are three ways I gave Louise for how to deal with negativity in a positive way.


Unconditional Love and Respect - Unconditional love is not the same as just ‘taking it’ when someone else’s choices feel toxic or dangerous to you. Think about it this way – everyone of us has our lessons to learn and challenges to face. How we choose to do that and the implications for our experiences are our unique history. We each have our own ‘bag of rocks’ to carry around, or we learn how to let go of them. In fact, most people get angry when someone else tries to take our 53

rocks from us (tries to fix our ‘problem’). We feel judged. [For more, see July’s article When Help Can Hurt.] When you get sucked into someone else’s negative energy, underneath your anger and frustration is usually care and concern for them. However, they may perceive that you are telling them they are wrong. You are trying to carry their bag of rocks for them. That is stealing. Those don’t belong to you. Put them down. The rocks are theirs to deal with. It is not your burden to carry. What you

54 | MY Magazine

can do, like Louise learned, is to offer advice, sympathy, even support, without a condition of their agreement or compliance. Negativity challenges are opportunities to learn what it means to love unconditionally with acceptance and respect for the other person’s choices, even when you don’t agree with them. It may also require forgiving them for their weaknesses, and forgive yourself for being upset with them. However, it is important to remember that this does not put you in a ‘superior’ position.

Your respect and forgiveness come from love and compassion (not judgment). Allow that there are different tolerances and choices for what is workable and healthy. For example, Louise’s Mom may tolerate Fred being so needy because it makes her feel important and valued as she cares for him. Perhaps Fred’s pain and ‘suffering’ are a reflection of a childhood experience where that is how he got attention. We don’t know for sure, but whatever the causes, they are aspects of their bags of rocks. It is not Louise’s job to judge, fix, or carry those rocks for her Mom or Fred.


Set Boundaries – Even though you are offering unconditional love and respect, you can still set boundaries on dealing with negative or toxic people and situations. With family members or friends, you can limit how often you spend time with them. If there are certain situations that you know trigger the negative experience, do your best to change the scenario when you get together or limit when you are willing to step into that hot mess. It may sound cold, but when you engage unconditional love, boundaries become a choice that comes from respect rather than fear or anger. When you can do that, your communication about the boundary also becomes less defensive.

sometimes the negativity still gets all over us. Here are three proven ways to let it go and restore your own natural positive vibrations. •

Gratitude – when water isn’t an option, or you need something quicker, engage gratitude. It is a great interrupter of negativity. Focus on something in your life that you are grateful for. It may or may not be related to the negative person or situation that sucked you in. Stop. Breathe. Allow yourself to fully feel gratitude fill you from the inside out. Negativity, frustration, and anger cannot coexist with gratitude.

Music – Find a few songs that lift your spirits and put them on your tablet or phone. Focus on the energy or the music, listen fully, move your body, and let the negative energy dissolve away. Most songs are 3 to 4 minutes long. You can shift that fast when you want to.

Design your boundaries with respect for yourself and respect for their journey. For example, Fred is much more pleasant when Louise’s children are around (thank goodness!), so she limits her time alone with him to minimize her contact with the complaint zone. Another type of boundary is to change or redirect the context. When Louise does have alone time with Fred, she now asks him to share specifically what was good about his day. If he goes down the negativity path, Louise gently but firmly redirects him to focus on what went well or what he enjoyed.


Restore Yourself – Despite our best efforts and good intentions,

Water – Take a shower or bath, or have a swim. Covering yourself in water can help you release negative energy and allow you to normalize to your own frequency. As you let the water surround you, forgive yourself for succumbing, and forgive them for their bag of rocks. You will quickly recognize yourself again!

When you encounter someone else’s negative energy vortex,

you no longer need to despair. Remember that you can choose your response and apply unconditional love and respect for their journey. You can also set boundaries that work for you and them. If those options fail, don’t panic or be too hard on yourself. You will do better next time. The good news is that with some practice, you can let it go and restore yourself to your natural positive vibration in a matter of minutes.

Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations how to energize their next win - whether they are on a roll or in a hole. In 2002, Wini became an entrepreneur and left a 20-year corporate career cleaning up environmental hazardous waste sites. Now, she helps clients clean up toxic habits, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that contaminate their path to success. Clients say Wini’s keen intuition, judgement-free approach, and energy techniques all help free them to release frustrations and blocks and accelerate toward what they really want. Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business and its people grow and flourish. Learn more about Wini and her programs at and 55

Talk to Tamara

Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. by Tamara Green

Dear Tamara,

Dear Ready For Change,

I’ve been reading your monthly columns and noticed that you’re a fan of meditation. I’m considering starting my own practice, especially if it enhances the relationship I have with my husband. We tend to argue on a regular basis and I have to admit that I’m usually the one who starts it. Would meditation help me stop jumping down his throat?

A resounding YES! A regular practice of meditation would definitely help, especially if your husband started his own mindfulness discipline, as well. Even if he doesn’t, the friction in your relationship should quiet down because you’ll become more calm and happy. Keep reading and learn about the power of meditation.

Signed: Ready For Change

56 | MY Magazine

“Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile.” —Thich Nhat Hanh 57

Meditation… • Reduces Stress –Study after study shows that a regular practice of calming the mind, even minutes per day, reduces the stress hormone, cortisol, leaving you feeling more peaceful and grounded. • Generates Presence Because most thinking is judgment-based, if you’re thinkin’, your stinkin’. For example, when fixated on your past, you’re probably feeling regret, anger or upset. When engrossed in thoughts of your future, you’re probably feeling anxious or worried. Presence occurs when your mind is neutral (or, no judgment). Even 30 seconds of meditation or mindfulness can create presence and ease.

58 | MY Magazine

• Tunes You Into Your Inner Guidance - Tai Chi master Ilchee Lee said, “Where your mind goes, energy goes.” Another way of saying this is, ‘What you focus on expands.’ Too much thinking produces a congestion of energy in the mind. This then initiates an energy imbalance leading to stress. Meditation, however, lowers and equalizes the energy from your mind (center for creativity) into your heart (inner wisdom) and lower belly (gut intuition), which establishes an inner harmony among all three energy centers. This balance creates a stillness, which tunes you into your own awareness, consciousness and the realm of possibilities.

Facilitates Receiving There’s nothing in this world that’s not energy. At any particular time, you’re giving, receiving or blocking energy. In other words, you are constantly playing with or manipulating energy.

Receiving energy is difficult for many people. When you have a problem, notice how or where you’re not receiving (or blocking) energy. For example, a love problem is a ‘receiving love’ problem and a money problem is a ‘receiving money’ problem. Meditation enables you to be in the space of receiving and allowing. Because the Universe continuously desires to give to you, a practice of meditation is synonymous with receiving

Happy Meditating! Want free relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s free 45-minute guidance session where you will finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles. Whether you are single or are experiencing relationship upset, by clicking here, you no longer have to figure this out alone anymore. Yay!

a daily dose of unconditional love. How does it better than that?! •

Sharpens the Mind - A relaxed mind enhances focus and creativity. For example, 95% of my writing creativity is a direct result of going within and listening.

A simple breathing meditation oxygenates the brain, which then revitalizes and refreshes the mind. For an immediate result, quickly inhale until your lungs are at full capacity. Then audibly exhale out of your mouth with an, ‘Ahhhhhhh.’. Keep repeating this breathing technique until you feel refreshed and revitalized. Enjoy the increased ability to concentrate and focus within minutes! •

Stabilizes Emotions – At this point, there are thousands

of studies proving that a daily meditation practice can reduce and even protect you from depression, stress and anxiety. Going within on a regular basis is key. •

Helps You Actualize Your Goals - This certainly has been true for many of my clients. The ones who commit to a daily practice of going within are ten times more likely to manifest their dreams. Very exciting!

Facilitates Self-Love – Meditation is the epitome of self-care. It can boost your self-esteem, awareness and confidence, which all lead to self-love. To get on the fast track to self-love and healing, I recommend Tamara’s 21 Days To Self-Love Meditation Experience.

Copyright 2017, Tamara Green, LCSW. All Rights Reserved

Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soulcentered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy. Please follow Tamara Green, LCSW (@tamaragreen4u) Join Tamara’s community at; Facebook TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A 59

FROM FRAZZLED TO FOCUS by Lisa Marie Platske

60 | MY Magazine


e all have different gifts, talents, and abilities that lead us to where we want to go in life. My ability to process and synthesize information and arrange it in orderly fashion enables me to prioritize with ease which serves me well in my business. Whether I’m working with a client on how to position their expertise so they attract bigger opportunities or I’m creating a strategy for an upcoming project of my own, I project map it in my head and then create bite-sized steps to put into action. When I am not clear about when something will get done, it takes up space in my brain and can keep me up at night. This is also true for anything that I haven’t taken action on and recognize is important to move the business forward. These unfinished action items will live in my short-term memory and pressure me to give them attention. You may also have these little nagging voices in the back of your head, too. Theses voices remind you of the things you “should” be doing or perhaps have started doing but haven’t finished. They can pop up at the most unusual times, like in the middle of an important meeting with a

colleague or when you’re trying to meditate. And, it’s not so much that these are difficult items for you to handle. You just haven’t taken action on them yet because you haven’t made them a top priority to get done. So, they take up space in your head, making you feel guilty that you haven’t done them. If the to-do list keeps running through your mind, it will steal your peace, conveying messages that you’re behind and just can’t keep up with your life.

missing, successful leadership (which is ultimately about positively influencing others) doesn’t show up. When I talk about pillar #4 (Live Your Priorities) at my annual Design Your Destiny Live, I emphasize how important it is to be clear about your nonnegotiables in life. You want to be certain about what is most important to you and for you. Every time you say “yes” to something, you say “no” to something else.

While that doesn’t sound as if it is that big of a deal, the real message you continually get is “you’ll never get caught up”, or worse “you’re not doing enough”.

You can’t say “yes” to something without it having an effect on something else in your life or your business.

It feels as if you’re failing at life and that feels awful.

In order to lighten your load and make it easier to manage your to-do’s, here are three tips that I’ve found helpful to stay out of overwhelm --

When I was starting my business, I recognized that I didn’t have a business background and wanted to succeed. To better understand what people who were already successful had done to get to where they were, I began conducting informal interviews. Through these interviews, I discovered 7 themes which I call my 7 Pillars of Leadership. When one of these pillars is

That is the power of choice.

1. Shine light on what’s pulling at you. Whenever I meet with a client for a private retreat day, I have them do a data dump of all of the things that are on their mind. Whatever they believe they must do is moved from their head and onto the piece of paper. This action alone creates space and increases creativity. 61

week to share the level of urgency on a particular project or action item. This not only takes something out of my head but gives clear guidance and direction as to when I want it to be done. Living your priorities with ease and grace can be as simple as 1-2-3.

2. Decide to do, delegate or delete. Crafting a plan of action around the non-negotiables I spoke about earlier means you will be clear about whether an item deserves your time, energy, and attention or not. If it does, do it.

a negative consequence on my business or life.

You have 24 hours a day.

It’s that simple.

You get to decide whether it is important enough for you to do or whether you can delegate to a trusted person on your team. (If you don’t have a team yet, you’ll need to take this into consideration.)

3. Identify when to take action. Once you’ve decided to do something or delegate, it’s best to know when you want it to happen.

When I am determining whether to delegate something, I ask myself, “Is this something I need to do or is this something ______ can do?”

I have a project tracker in Google docs with several of the people on my team.

More often than not, I delegate as there are very few things that only I can do that wouldn’t have 62 | MY Magazine

This makes it very easy to know what to delete and let go of. If it isn’t serving me, it isn’t in my highest good to take precious time to do.

Then, schedule it.

It enables me to see all they’re working on as well as how much space they have to get it done. I also meet with them once a

I challenge you to implement this simple system to move from frazzled to focused. The world needs you and your brilliance. Lisa Marie Platske left her action-packed life as a Federal law enforcement officer to become the CEO of international leadership company, Upside Thinking, Inc. An award-winning leadership expert and #1 best-selling international author of 4 books, she takes her law enforcement journey which began on the piers of New York and ended post 9/11 and shares what exceptional leaders do differently and how to be positioned as an expert in order to seize big opportunities. As a certified master coach, Lisa Marie coaches women in business around the globe. With experience working with clients in over 20 different industries, her proven 7-step formula has resulted in her clients being seen, heard, and recognized for their work without having to change who they are. The founder of Design Your Destiny LIVE (www.DesignYourDestinyLive), she lives in Alexandria, Virginia with her loving and supportive husband Jim and their two pet foxes.


Be seen in MY Authentic Life Magazine




t’s easy to talk about how to change your life when you are in a place of growth, but what about how to change your life when you feel stuck? When you find yourself in a hole dug from disempowerment, overexertion, emotional withdrawal, and apathy -- and you’re good and stuck -- how do you climb back out? The short answer to how to change your life when you feel stuck is to stay engaged and not give up. The long 64 | MY Magazine

answer (the answer to, “yeah that’s great Kate, but how do I actually DO that?”) is a little more complex and takes a little more personal power. An idea I often stress in my work is that it’s not the situation you are in, but the way you react to it, that defines your life experience. Your personal power to change your life lies in your ability to define how you react to life. I won’t pretend this

Throughout life, we experience and witness so much negativity that employing “positive action” can sometimes seem a laughable (or sick) joke. How could our actions make a positive difference or have a lasting impact on this ever-changing, vast, often-harsh world? Me? Me, end hatred, hunger, and abuse? Me, ensure social equity, education for all, and protections for our planet? These are impossible-seeming questions and, when we don’t come up with answers, we stop ourselves from seeking solutions. The hard truth is that, no matter how hopeless action may seem, apathy is noxious. Giving up in the face of adversity will leave you feeling like a half a person, and it demotes the people around you. The answer to how to change your life when you feel stuck, or how to change the world, is to ask different questions. Instead of trying to answer “What can I do to change the world?” (we don’t know, Batman), try “What can I do right now to create something good?,” “Who can I call right now to bring a moment of joy into the world?,” and “Where I can I lend the time I do have?” The tools you need to change your life when you feel stuck are the same that you need to change the world. They are love, truth, and compassion. I believe that the entire world benefits when you choose to build your life with these tools. Equipped with these three holistic healing tools, you can approach adversity with positive action and transform your world. The answer to how to change your life when you feel stuck lies within you -- it always has, and it always will.

is always easy… It’s easy to feel disempowered when reading the news, hearing that a loved one is sick, or finding yourself the brunt of someone’s road wage on your way to work (Leave it to life to challenge your personal power on the daily…). The key here is not to fall into emotional withdrawal from the world, lest you find yourself in that proverbial hole of stuck-ness. Instead, react with “positive action.”

If you think you need help bringing love, compassion, and truth to each situation you face, you’re not alone. While we have the inherent ability to do this, the capability takes practice. One resource you can rely on is focused practice of these skills. This is why I developed programs like my LifeWork Community -- to provide the tools and the opportunity to practice new ways of being. Another resource is self-education and self-reflection. Below, I’ve provided some more depth on what our toolkit of Love, Truth, and Compassion look like in action. Take a read. 65

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU FEEL STUCK: THE TOOLKIT “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”

This does not mean that we turn hatred toward these parts of ourselves. It means we see them, accept them and let them go.


“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”

-- Buddha

Love is the most powerful, world-changing tool we have. I’m fully aware of how Pollyanna this sounds. My challenge to you, though, is this: try it! Get your heart broken, feel disrespected, lose something you really cherish and see how quickly you can move on from the negativity you feel into LOVE. It takes a high degree of awareness and sophistication to experience our negativity and move beyond it into a place of love. Anyone who has walked this path knows that this is the way of a REAL bad-ass. The first thing we need to do is cultivate love inside ourselves. To do this we need to hunt down the barriers to love that live within us more ferociously than we hunt down barriers to love in the world outside us.


– Jesus Christ

Truthfulness is a time-honored and respected trait. To be truthful is to be honest and trustworthy. It requires a commitment to speaking and acknowledging the truth, and to acting with integrity. When we have our truth we also have our respect and love. While philosophically there are many types of truth, the truth I’m talking about here has a dynamic holism that is much more easily experienced than written about. There is a paradox around truth, though, and it’s this: truth does not make anything untrue. Whenever you negate something, there is a lie present. Truthfulness allows for multiple perspectives in a way that honors each of those perspectives. One very common example of this is that if you make yourself wrong you’re not living your truth nor are you allowing others to live theirs.

66 | MY Magazine

If you want to have an impact on the world, each time you feel wronged stop and take a moment to understand the other person’s perspective.


“No man is a true believer unless he desireth for his brother that which he desireth for himself.” COMPASSION

– Muhammad

To be compassionate is to open your heart to the suffering of others. Compassion, to me, is a healing action. When we offer compassion to ourselves or others we are, in fact, healing ourselves or others. One of the best ways to practice compassion is to tend to our own pain and suffering. Without a doubt, one thing we gain from our own hardship is an ability to give love to others while they experience hardship of their own. Still, sometimes we might find ourselves feeling closed off or judgmental about others who are in a difficult spot. We can feel wronged and, because of this, feel justified in wanting understanding from the other person. When we do this, we withhold our compassion and do not give our understanding to the person we feel wronged us.

To change your life when you feel stuck, learn how to effect positive action in the world. Suit up with a toolkit of Love, Truth, and Compassion, and go deep. While I’m certainly not knocking it, you don’t need to start a movement or become a politician to have a positive impact. Focus on being a better person and sharing this with the world, and you’ll elicit transformation in ways you couldn’t have imagined. The skills you need are simple and within the reach of every single one of us. If you need practice or guidance, take a look at Personal Breakthrough Intensive program and see if it sounds like a good fit for you http://katesiner. com/work-with-me/1-to-1-with-dr-kate/personalbreakthrough-intensive/ . I will leave you with this quote from Rumi. “Listen with the ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the Language of love.” Dr. Kate Siner is an award-winning Entrepreneurial and Personal Development mentor, speaker, author, and radio show host. Kate has a Ph.D. in Psychology and years of both clinical and coaching experience. Her passion is to help people move past whatever holds them back so that they may embrace all they can be. Kate has developed a series of successful personal development programs, newest of which is LifeWork Virtual. Learn more at or at 67


a Precious Child

68 | MY Magazine

by Janette Stuart


hile tuning into the Divine for your message today, dear heart, your angels want you to remember that you are a precious child of God. They want you to remember that you are a delight, a joy, a precious and beloved child of the Divine. How often we forget our precious nature, the innocence and the wonder we used to have in the world before the weight of our earthly responsibilities burdened us. If it has been way too long since you have delighted in your day like a child, with exuberance and joy, let today be the day you take a few moments to reflect on the goodness of a childhood delight. What did you love to do as a child? Did you love to play outside? Did you love to draw? Did you love to make music or play with your pet? Chances are those delights are still buried deep within, waiting for you to treat yourself as a precious child once more and let yourself have a childhood experience once again. We all have an inner child within who is screaming for our attention. Let’s pamper or indulge our inner child today. Yes, let’s celebrate our inner child as a sacred self-care ritual. I invite you to gather a picture of yourself as a small child and spend some time reflecting upon what you enjoyed as that small child. I have a picture from kindergarten that I use for this time of reflection. I can remember how I felt when that picture was taken, the color of my outfit (back in the days of black and white photography), and what I enjoyed back then. Chances are, you, too, will benefit from reflecting upon those days and honoring your inner precious child, as well. 69

you may want to treat your inner child to a favorite meal or treat from childhood. What did you enjoy eating as a child? What did you enjoy doing for fun as a child? Give yourself that gift today, dear precious child of God. You will bless yourself immensely. It will help you celebrate YOU as the precious child of God that you are.

The following is a beautiful exercise to consider. You can answer these questions mentally or by journaling or discussing them with a dear friend or family member. You can even expand upon them. Be extra gentle with yourself today, dear one. Remember to treat yourself as the precious child of God that you are. Five questions to ponder, You Precious Child of God: 1. Where would you take your inner child?

2. What would you feed your inner child? 3. What does your inner child need? 4. What does your inner child want you to know? 5. What does your grown-up self-want your inner child to know? Speak to your inner child with love and kindness and gratitude. Remember, you are a precious child of God. As an extra self-care tip today,

If you enjoyed this article, you may want to check out my new inspirational card deck “Love Notes from The Divine.” This “Precious” image and message is one of the 44 cards which feature beautiful, divinely inspired messages and images to delight body, mind, and soul. Available on Amazon or on my website AAshoppage. Here’s to you, dear one, as you honor YOU as the Precious child of God that you are. Blessings of love, joy, and peace.

I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work in a more visible way and am now devoting more time to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world. I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary. My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator. I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness. As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner. Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding. 70 | MY Magazine

Let us know if you are interested in writing, we are changing the world one article at a time!

SIMPLY Spiritual


What Does Your Dream Mean? by Kathryn and Patrick Andries

Dear Dream Expert,

Dear Adventuresome,

I am out in the woods at night, and have joined a tribe of mostly unfamiliar people. There are large fires scattered throughout but I am not near any of them. My friend, Lucille (creative, fun) is with me. I am trying to convince her to go down a dark, broad trail with me (I can see the fires burning as I look through the trees, and the path ahead is dark and velvety in an appealing way). Lucille does not want to come for some reason.

You are exploring your subconscious mind (forest) and discover unfamiliar parts of yourself here. You see there is some growth and expansion occurring in your mind (the fires represent expansion). This may be some new ideas you have created in your mind. You want to explore areas of unawareness within yourself that you feel can offer you something (dark path that is appealing), but the part of you that is fun and creative is holding you back for some reason. The question to ask is why this part of yourself (Lucille) is holding you back. You can explore what the hesitation or fear is about, and then work to overcome it.

Sincerely, Adventuresome

74 | MY Magazine

Dear Dream Expert,

Dear Dream Expert,

I am not present in this dream, but an observer. I see a scene of unfamiliar women at a get-together in a house (living room). The living room is elegant and well-lit with natural light. The women are wealthy, beautiful, and dressed extravagantly. One of them has dark brunette hair, dark eyes, and light skin. She has developed an infected molar. It is black and starts to ooze tar. Slowly, other orifices on her face ooze tar as well and she transforms from gorgeous to skeletal and terrifying. Her hair falls out.

I had eaten supper with neighbors and when we got back home, I realized I had started supper and left food cooking in the oven. The oven was still on and the food was thoroughly cooked but not burnt, so I said I would save it for another day. Also, I put a small box of mementos in a larger box in a storage closet. I then found something else I wanted to save, but there were no boxes in the storage closet when I opened it.

Sincerely, Fearful

Sincerely, Out of Sync

Dear Out of Sync,

Dear Fearful, You are observing unfamiliar aspects of yourself. Outwardly the expression is pleasing (beautiful, wealthy). However, when you assimilate this part of yourself (molar- tool for assimilation) you see that underneath it this part of yourself that is overly concerned with outer appearances is not productive inside and has no real important thoughts (hair falling out). You are terrified of the part of yourself that is concerned with outer appearances only. This dream is telling you that focusing only on the outer can lead to deterioration of your true self and your thoughts (the skeleton with no hair.)

The basic idea is that you have knowledge (food) and information or past memories (mementos) that you are not using. For example, you go to eat food at the neighbor’s house (aspects familiar to you, but not well known) when you already dinner made at home. Then you have information that you store away rather than put it out to use. You recognize that what you are storing away inside is filling you up to the point where you no longer have room to store anything else. Storing things away may be the way you hide what you have, or keep it secret. All these memories are of the past, and the most important part of your life is right now. You have knowledge (food) and past understandings that can help you build a better life in the present. I recommend recognizing what you have already rather than storing it away. Patrick and Kathryn Andries, the Dream Experts, are teachers and co-founders of the School of Intuitive Arts and Sciences. Send your dream and watch for the answer in the next Aquarius. If you would like a dream interpreted, please submit it in the body of an e-mail to To learn more about dreams visit

Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: Learn more about their books at 75

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS &Soul Mates by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

Anyone that loves you deeply and who you open your heart to, will shine a light so strong into the very essence of who you are, that everything that is not in alignment with this light will come up to the surface to be healed. – Cissi Williams

76 | MY Magazine


ll people with whom you come in contact are mirrors for your own ‘stuff’, but the people with whom you form partner relationships provide an exquisite opportunity to know yourself better and to address your Shadows. A quick glossary of terms: PARTNER RELATIONSHIPS – For this article, it refers to your romantic partner whether you are married or single, and regardless of their gender. MIRROR – The opportunity to see your own issues because your partner either reflects them back to you (verbally or indirectly), or because you project these issues on your partner so that YOU can see the issues, although it’s common to assume that your partner is the problem. THE SHADOW – Those parts of yourself that you would prefer to keep hidden because you have either been taught that they should not be allowed to be 77

visible (and these may even be valuable traits like speaking up for yourself) or because they embarrass you and you wish they didn’t exist. TRIGGERS – Things that occur around you which set off strong emotions or create judgmental thoughts about yourself or others.

are destined to be your romantic partner, but all soul mates provide an opportunity to be your mirror. So one question to ask yourself is whether this person who feels like your soul mate should also be your romantic partner.

YOUR ‘STUFF’ – This refers to your shadows and triggers (see above) that can increase your emotionality, affect your perceptions of situations and people, and generally interfere with and complicate your relationships.

INNER CHILD – The little boy or girl that resides within you who recalls the fears and challenges that you experienced in childhood. When familiar events or emotions re-trigger the inner child, s/he alerts you to the danger but does so from the perspective of the child-victim instead of from the empowered adult that you are now.

SOUL MATE – The impression that you are with a person that you are supposed to be with. There’s a deep sense of knowing this person and often a deep attraction as well. It’s interesting to note that not all soulmates

INTER-GENERATIONAL PATTERNS – Students of metaphysics believe that individuals carry patterns established by our ancestors whether or not it is carried in our DNA. As you do your own work,

78 | MY Magazine

you heal inter-generationally as well. Native Americans believe that this extends seven generations forward and seven generations back. (But why limit to seven?) It’s no surprise that couples experience so many challenges in committed relationships. According to Harville Hendrix and his Imago theory, there’s a tendency to choose partners who unconsciously remind you of key people in your life. They are usually from your childhood and usually represent your primary caregivers. Imago theory explains that by replicating these earlier people into your current relationships, you are trying to heal that former unsatisfactory association by selecting someone who is familiar, but with the hope and expectation that this time it will be different! Unfortunately, since this is typically all occurring at a subconscious level, you don’t realize the meaningfulness of who you have chosen, why you have chosen this person, and therefore you often miss the opportunity to actually heal your inner child wound. In his book, Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Hendrix recommends bringing all of this to the conscious awareness of you both so that it can be discussed openly as triggers occur to

provide the opportunity for you both to achieve healing. There is a difference between “being triggered” by your partner who acts as your mirror, and manipulation or abuse by your partner. If there is any question, please seek learned counsel to determine the difference and respond appropriately. Just because you are drawn to the person, and feel that they are your soul mate, doesn’t mean that you are to be romantic partners. Maybe the lesson in the attraction is to help you to recognize the need to walk away. IS IT POSSIBLE TO TAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO ANOTHER LEVEL? What if you are already practicing introspection and relationship healing and can recognize your partner’s gift of providing you the mirror to address your own Shadows, yet still find yourself playing the blame-game? And what if you would actually like to try experiencing the peace-filled love that you know is available to you with your soul mate? First, make the commitment to continue your personal growth for yourself. You can’t cheat on this process of healing your Inner Child, and of releasing years, generations, or lifetimes of ineffective patterns. If you still have Shadows to be revealed,

they will do so! So make the commitment to continue this work to reclaim your Self. Making this commitment will minimize your resistance, and ease the process, but that doesn’t guarantee that you will find it easy or comfortable. Next, discuss these concepts with your partner to bring the subconscious or unconscious, to consciousness. The Imago process can provide a structure for this, as can other forms of therapy that helps you practice open and honest communication. Acknowledge and accept that the trigger that your romantic partner provides is your mirror. Acceptance is not equal to allowing. Respond respectfully and confidently with appropriate boundaries as needed. End the blame-game with awareness of the process and your own role in it. Just as self-improvement can move you from seeing

yourself (with a small S) to an awareness of Self (with the capital S), you can now interact with your partner as a Partner and take on the responsibility of Shadow work for yourself without requiring your partner to take on that role and receive your resentment. Now you can interact in a more aware, intentional and loving way, with a deeper appreciation for each other, even during the occasional trigger! Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@, and visit SpiralWisdom. net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care. 79


80 | MY Magazine

by Kate Sholonski


hen many of us speak of love, we are referring to particular relationships or those with whom we have a history of personal connection and shared experiences. These recipients of our love also tend to have labels such as a spouse, significant other, child, sibling, parent or friend. Based on a limited understanding and definition of love, we can tend to limit sharing our hearts with those that we personally know and appreciate for whatever reasons or stories that make them lovable. I can honestly say I was also a member of that club of selective lovers for most of my life. For the past two decades, however, I have been on a journey of learning what love truly is. What I have learned is that love cannot be confined to only our “special” relationships or to those we personally know. True love is universal, which can be shared with strangers across the globe or with the homeless person we pass on the street or the child that rolls past us in a grocery cart in the produce aisle. What a thrill it is when we learn and regularly experience the abundant love we hold can be shared with anyone, not only those in our homes and inner circles. A few days ago I was feeling complete and utter bliss during my prayer and meditation. When I slipped below my thoughts to this place of bliss, I felt complete love. My heart was wide open, I had no judgments or limits regarding who or what qualifies as lovable. I was in a complete state of oneness and love for all (including myself). I have frequently experienced this bliss, yet at this particular time, it struck me that in those moments of what I refer to as universal love, there was no room for hate, revenge, jealousy, resentment or guilt. I was in a complete and utter state of joy, love, peace and complete wellbeing. Nothing else mattered. War, disease, political crisis, or fear of any loss had absolutely no impact on me. All I felt was love and complete and utter joy. As I returned to my more alert state of consciousness, I was aware that wars are still

present in the world. I was aware there was no outward change in the current political climate and that many people are losing many things on a daily basis (including relationships) that they consider to be valuable. I, however, still felt the JOY of universal love. This ability to feel love to this degree makes me wonder what the world situations would be like if we all experienced it. Would we be killing each other? Would we be competing and manipulating to get ahead of everyone else? Would we be as hard on ourselves as we often tend to be? I imagine that even if we shifted the slightest bit to being more compassionate and forgiving of ourselves and others, we would open the door to allow universal love to enter our lives. What I am realizing is we cannot improve our lives and state of wellbeing without love being present. We cannot experience peace without love, nor love without forgiveness. We must look beyond what we call the “reality” of life to what lies within each of us. The good news is that as we individually make this commitment to ourselves, collectively we can create a change that benefits all.

Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have coauthored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level. 81

Write For MY Authentic Life Magazine

“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.” 82 | MY Magazine

–Gustave Haubert 83

Wealth Consciousness

Manifest your destiny

UNDERSTANDING FACEBOOK’S 4 POST INTERACTIONS Facebook posts have 4 options to interact with it: Like, Comment, Share, (Plus 1 surprise) by Catherine Saykaly-Stevens

86 | MY Magazine


ach of the 4 Facebook post options has a different purpose. Most of us consume Facebook content without thinking about how we interact, how our behavior causes others to interact, and what that interaction does for the original poster. When a user makes a Facebook post, they typically have two hopes in mind. First, that they will post something people will take notice. Second, interact with the post, giving them clout with Facebook. The more clout with Facebook they get, the more people will see their posts next time. The advantage of Facebook is free service and opportunity to reach all your followers and friends.

friends. Depending on where you post (personal, group, page), a different percentage will see it (and a reason why so many have to pay Facebook ads to see anything on a Facebook page).

3. You let the content poster know you’ve read it

We can help each other by understanding how each of the 4 interactions work, and by doing more to get others to better interact with our own posts.

The first is by far the most popular option for the average reader, but a Like has the least amount of clout with Facebook. A Facebook Like takes the least amount of work as people tend to register it quickly, then continue to scroll looking for new content to consume.

1. The Facebook Like: The Popularity Contest The ‘Lazy Like’. The easiest and fastest option, after ignoring a post completely, is to Like it. Many people mistake a high Likecount for other people’s interest in the post. It doesn’t work that way. To Like and move on to the next post is far too easy. There are 4 reasons to Like a Facebook Post. Each one has a specific function, but the content poster cannot tell them apart.

4. You support the content poster and want them to succeed – regardless of whether you like or agree with the post

If Facebook were currency, consider each Like a penny in your pocket. 2. The Facebook Comment: Community Engagement We choose to add comments on Facebook posts to: •

Agree or disagree with the post, the poster, or another commenter

Backup or counter the original post with proof (written, media, links)

Offer a unique opinion on the post (sometimes having nothing to do with the post)

1. You like or agree with the post – literally 2. You acknowledge the post and your opinion of the post itself doesn’t matter

Don’t just select the Lazy Like and move on. Comment on and Share that post @CatherineNetWeb #quote (Yes, It IS Tweetable)

The disadvantage of Facebook is whatever you post won’t be seen by all of your followers and 87

Move the attention from this post to another post or entirely off Facebook (with a link)

Communication between commenters

Simple conversations between Commenter-Poster or Commenter-Commenter having nothing to do with the post

Every single comment is an opportunity to Like or Comment further. Unlike the un-impactful popularity contest of the Facebook Like, a Facebook comment is where the engagement happens, and engagement is where you make an impact with others. Comments are the MOST engaging aspect to Facebook, where posts can yield the best results long-term. You

let the poster know your level of interest with comments – positive or negative.

(Recently added, each comment has the same Like emojis set as a regular Facebook post)

If you seek to engage your followers and fans long-term, post content that gets people talking.

If Facebook were currency, consider each Comment a quarter in your pocket.

Then follow up – at least by liking each comment – and further engage by replying to each comment. Keep that conversation going, however small. Know that with each new comment, new people have an opportunity to notice your post. Over time, you become more memorable to the people with whom you communicate. Facebook’s fussy algorithm also pays attention to all the interactions on your post, rewarding you by showing it to more people in the newsfeed, where you gain more exposure.

3. The Facebook Share: Building Online Reach Can you spare a Share? We choose to Share Facebook posts to: •

Show our audience new content we liked or would benefit our audience

Support the original poster

Redirect the information/ entertainment to another group or page or individual

There are only 2 people getting credit with a Share: •

The original poster

The last person who shared it

There are 2 directions with a Share: •

Linear sharing – 1 person shares to 1 person who shares to another 1 person, etc.

Complex sharing – multiple people sharing on every level, often with cross-over

Each share is a jackpot hit for the original poster. Think large scale. It’s not about receiving an individual’s attention or attracting a small group of commenters and their

88 | MY Magazine

Are you even aware which past posts got the most Comments and Shares? Always make a note of which posts do well and post more of the same. Regularly invite others to comment and share with their audiences. This will help to expand your reach, engage your audience, and increase your online influence.

engaged friends. A Facebook Share is about getting a free introduction to an entirely new audience. Large scale expansion may occur with each Share (depending on that person’s audience size and if they are tuned in). Each Share increases your increasing online reach.

4. The Facebook Mystery 4th: Consuming the Post Spending all that time Liking, Commenting, and Sharing the Facebook post, we almost forgot about the post itself. The point of a post is to get others to read, watch, view, agree with, laugh at, or deeply ponder your post content.

The Share link is under most Facebook posts, yet it is the least used of the three options.

If Facebook were currency, consider the post itself having no actual value.

Over time, you will grow your numbers fastest with the more Facebook Shares you get as the originator of a post. You still want to Share someone else’s post as if it did well with their audience, the post alone should do well with yours.

But beware: If your Facebook posts have links that send users AWAY from Facebook (even to your blog), you will be penalized over time. Facebook rewards users who keep other users on Facebook, where they have access to Facebook Ads.

If Facebook were currency, consider each Share a dollar in your pocket.

Your Action Tip >> Look at your posts from this last month.

Catherine Saykaly-Stevens of is an author, speaker, and trainer – a social media Consultant who specializes in increasing Audience Growth and extraordinary Fan-Engagement. She mentors entrepreneurs, authors, speakers, and coaches on how to grow their fanbase, deepening their connection to their community to ultimately lead to audience growth, influence building, and sales conversions. She does that with one-on-one consulting and the Social Media Quick Start and Quick Results Programs. Catherine is also on the Social Media team of the global Evolutionary Business Council (EBC) with a current collective reach of 141 Million and is the co-host of two online shows: ‘EBE-Live’ and ‘Social Buzz U’. Catherine offers a free 21-Day Challenge – Get Your Social Media Accounts Ready to Impress. Are your social media accounts ready to impress influencers and media? This free campaign gives you 21 consecutive days of quick tips and a 5-Minute Action items to implement. Up your social media game in just 5 minutes at a time. To learn more visit: thenetworkingweb. com/21DayChallengeGetReady Catherine Saykaly-Stevens | Target Audience Growth and Fan-Engagement Social Media Consultant and Trainer Connect with me: LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Google 89

Healthy Living


92 | MY Magazine

by Annabel Cohen


here’s a reason grain bowls are so popular these days. They’re easy to prepare and super nutritious. And because they are an entire meal in a bowl, so they’re easy to serve. While ordinarily I would say “serve with crusty bread and a salad” for my one-bowl meals, I don’t need to with these grain bowls, because it’s all here. What you could add to these bowls is protein -- or at least more protein -- since whole grains, eggs, many vegetables (dark greens, mushrooms, Brussel sprouts, mushrooms, etc.), beans (and all legumes) and nuts are full of healthy proteins. Try bits of grilled chicken, fish and meats to your taste. In fact, adding these to your grain bowls is a great way to utilize leftover meats. Use the recipes here are as inspiration for inventing your own grain bowls. Think one-half to one cup of cooked grains and 2-3 cups of toppings or mixins per serving. Then … go! 93

Wheat Berry, Arugula, Vegetable and Feta Bowls Makes 6 servings.

1 1/2 cups wheat berries (uncooked)

1 cup crumbled feta

¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil

½ cup fresh chopped mint leaves

4 cups water

¼ cup. fresh lemon juice 5 cups baby arugula

½ cup chopped fresh parsley (any kind) Sea salt and pepper to taste

1 cup very thinly sliced carrots (I do this with the thin slicing blade the food processor)

Combine wheat berries and water in a saucepan over high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to simmer and cook, covered, for 30-minutes or until just tender (do not overcook -- texture should be “chewy”). Drain well and allow to cool to warm.

1 cup chopped celery

Transfer to a large bowl. Add remaining ingredients and toss well. Divide into 6 bowls and serve.

1 cup 1 cup very thinly sliced carrots (I do this with the thin slicing blade the food processor)

1 cup thin sliced scallions (red and green parts)

94 | MY Magazine

Farro Avocado and Yogurt Bowl Makes 6 servings.

1 1/2 cups uncooked farro 4 cups water

2 pints grape tomatoes, halved, tossed with 2 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

Divide the farro into 6 bowls. Top with tomatoes, dollops of yogurt, lemon wedges, avocado wedges, and halved eggs. Top with a bit more salt and fresh ground pepper.

3-4 Tbsp. (to taste) avocado oil or extra-virgin olive oil (plus more to drizzle over bowl) 1 tsp. ground cumin

5-8 ounces baby spinach (about 5 large handfuls)

Kosher salt and pepper to taste 2 cups plain, thick, Greek yogurt 6 lemon wedges

3 medium ripe avocados

6 hard cooked eggs, cold, peeled and halved Combine farro and water in a saucepan over high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to simmer and cook, covered, for 30-minutes or until just tender (do not overcook -texture should be “chewy”). Drain well and transfer the hot farro to a bowl. Add cumin, spinach, and salt and pepper to taste (the hot farro will “wilt” the spinach). White the farro is cooking, arrange oiled tomatoes on a parchment lined, rimmed baking sheet and broil on high for 3-minutes. Remove from oven and cool. Cut the avocado into thin wedges. 95

Vegetables Fried Rice Bowl Makes 6 servings.

Âź cup vegetable oil (divided) 4 cups cooked brown rice

1 cup chopped onions, any variety 3 cups small broccoli florets

1 cup sliced shiitake mushrooms 1 cup roasted, unsalted cashews 3 large eggs, lightly beaten

1 cup fresh or frozen corn kernels (thawed if frozen) Âź cup soy sauce (plus more to taste) Salt and pepper to taste

96 | MY Magazine


1 cup chopped scallions (white and green parts) 2 Tbsp. rice vinegar

2 Tbsp. toasted sesame seeds

2 Tbsp. sesame oil (to drizzle over bowls) Heat 2 Tbsp. oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add onions, broccoli, and mushrooms and saute until the vegetables begin to soften. cook 6 minutes. Transfer to a bowl. Without cleaning the skillet, add remaining 2 tablespoons oil to pan. Add rice and cashews and cook, stirring occasionally, for about 5 minutes. Stir in eggs, vegetables, soy sauce and rice vinegar and cook for one minute more. Stir in broccoli mixture, corn and salt, and pepper to taste. Top with scallions, sesame seeds, and sesame oil. Divide among 6 bowls and serve.

Coconut Oats and Fruit Bowls Makes 6 servings.

4 cups coconut milk

2 cups uncooked steel-cut oats 1/3 cup brown sugar 2 Tbsp. flax seeds

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

½ cup slivered almonds, lightly toasted

¼ cup sunflower seeds

¼ cup real maple syrup (or more to taste) 3 cups mixed berries (or more to taste)

Combine coconut milk, oats, brown sugar, flax seeds and cinnamon in a large zipper-style freezer bag (1-gallon size). Chill for 8 hours or overnight. Divide the mixture into 6 bowls. Top with almonds, sunflower seeds, and berries. Drizzle maple syrup over and serve.

Annabel is a foodie. She’s a writer. A cooking instructor. An explorer. She’s a aesthete. She knows how to cook. Until fairly recently, Annabel only cooked for people she knows. Her catering, articles, blogs and ANNABEL COHEN COOKS DETROIT Facebook page have earned not just kudos, but awards as well. She was chosen as a Crain’s Detroit Business Magazine “Most Passionate Cooks” and has been profiled in: The Paper, HOUR Detroit, The Detroit News, The Detroit Free Press, The Big Idea, Oakland Press, Royal Oak Tribune, The Detroit Jewish News, Style Magazine, “LIVE in the D,” among others. She won “Best Caterer” in 2015 in The Detroit

Jewish News, and in 2014 in HOUR Detroit magazine. She was voted “Best Brazilian Food” by Detroit Monthly magazine. Among countless television and radio appearances, Annabel was the deciding judge on the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” for a Detroit episode pitting rivals Lafayette Coney Island against American Coney Island. Annabel is an author. She co-authored “Eating for Acid Reflux” in 2003 and in 2013 created all the recipes for 2014’s “Fast Diets for Dummies.” As a stylist, Annabel has assisted in countless photo shoots and tested and styled recipes for ads, articles and even a few books she didn’t write. She’s also a cooking instructor and writer/columnist with articles that focus on her favorite things — food, travel and lifestyle. 97


98 | MY Magazine


oping with stress is much more difficult after it has built up than preventing it in the first place. Here are some tips you can use right now to reduce and eliminate stress in your life. Eliminating stress creates more energy... and a healthier you! Eliminating stress is a major factor in weight loss and maintaining a healthy weight.


DISCONNECT. Unplug. Make friends with nature. Taking a quiet walk and spending time in nature rejuvenates the body, mind, and spirit. You deserve some quiet time to build up your reserves. Decompressing in nature is an ideal way to do this. If you work in an office, take a walk outside at lunchtime to get some fresh air and sunshine. Sunlight triggers your brain to release specific chemicals and hormones like melatonin that are vital to healthy sleep, mood and aging.


SAY “NO” MORE OFTEN. Women often feel obligated to say “yes” to just about everything...leading to being overburdened and stressed out. Our natural inclination to nurture is our undoing. Practice the art of the gentle decline. Instead of saying yes, say “GEE, I’m flattered that you asked me AND my plate is full right now. I’m sure you’ll find the right person for the job.” NO apologies!!!


PHONES AND EMAIL ARE TOOLS FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE. Remind yourself that you don’t have to answer phone calls or emails immediately. Schedule them at a time that works for you. You can even put this in your voicemail message: “I’ll return your call after 4 PM today.” for example.


HANGING AROUND PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFICULT, GOSSIPING OR COMPLAINING IS STRESSFUL! Avoid them. Up-level your associations to people who are positive and uplifting. Ditto listening to the news. It is designed to get people upset. 99


MARK TWAIN SAID THAT HE HAD EXPERIENCED MANY TERRIBLE THINGS... SOME OF WHICH ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Avoid telling yourself scary stories about things in the future that haven’t happened yet... and may never happen. You can also write your worries down and make plans for what you might do to reduce the worry. Very often, looking at things in perspective, we realize that we would still be OK even if the worst were to happen.


FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. Listen to what your feelings are telling you that you need. Stuffing, denying or repressing feelings creates stress. Writing them down can be helpful. For a difficult situation or relationship, write down all resentments, regrets and things you would love to say (but can’t). You can also ask “What do I really want right now?” Honor that.


NEGATIVE THOUGHTS CREATE NEGATIVE FEELINGS WHICH LEAD TO INNER STRESS AND TENSION. Replace your habitual negative, judgmental thoughts, and self-criticisms with more positive ones. I love little posters that say things like “You rock!” or “You’re 100 | MY Magazine

amazing!” to reinforce positive thoughts. A supply of gold stars to use on your to-do list is also helpful. Develop the habit of celebrating the “wins”.


GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Many women are sleep deprived. Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels. The best time to get to sleep is 10 PM. Organize your day so that this can happen. Avoid drinking alcohol and caffeine.


BREATHE! Breathe deeply from your low belly. It is physiologically impossible to feel anxious and take deep breaths at the same time. Just two minutes of deep breathing from the belly can change everything.


TRY MAGNIFICENT MAGNOLIA! Magnolia Officinalis can help your body regulate stress hormones and deal with cortisol effectively. You can also

take 200-400mg of magnesium citrate or glycinate before bed, which helps relax the nervous system and muscles. My personal favorite is Natural Vitality CALM. What will you do...starting right now... to reduce your stress level? Let me know! With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mind-set work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families.

Live your authentic life

Live your best life!