I
was talking with someone recently. Like so many others, her life is in turmoil. She knows things have to change but she’s having trouble identifying just what she wants. She knows change is coming, whether or not she wants it, whether or not she likes it. In a way, this gives her some measure of peace because she wants out of this nightmare as soon as possible. But without knowing what’s on the other side of it, she’s reluctant to take steps to get there, even though “here” is not a very happy place to be. As I’ve told her, the only constant in life is change. Wherever “there” is, that’s where she’ll be at some point – because time keeps rolling along, whether or not we wish it would just stand still for a while. I asked if she knows what she wants. She said she didn’t know how to verbalize it. All she could tell me was what was she doesn’t want. But of course, focusing on what she doesn’t want makes it all the more likely that that’s exactly what she’ll get. After all, worry is simply a prayer for the negative. She wasn’t able to be specific about just how she wants things to turn out. The only thing she knows for sure is how she wants to feel. So I told her to focus on that. Just connect with that feeling, and tune into it as many times a day as she
wants and in time, the other bits will fall into place. She doesn’t have a lot of control over the external parts of her life right now, but she has loads of control over her inner world. So I gave her some homework that will help her connect with it and begin to make some necessary - and very empowering - changes. She has to stop worrying about all the “what ifs” and “what abouts” for her future, and focus on two things: One, the present moment, and only the present moment, and two, how she wants to feel because that’s the only thing she can control. The future is a huge unknown for all of us.
And when we do that, it’s the spirit inside each of us that drives us forward, encouraging us to find happiness and joy, to do what is right and best for us, whether or not we want to make certain changes. That little spirit will tell you very quickly if you’re doing a good thing or not. And if you are, well done! If you’re not, ask yourself why. Ask yourself if it’s really better to live with unhappiness and discontent than to do what you know to be right, and give yourself the opportunity to have a better life. We’ve always got choices to make. We couldn’t choose things that happened to us when we were young or before we were aware that we had it right. But you know it now.
But somehow, when we have a plan, we forget the fact that the Universe could wipe it out by delivering one swift blow, leaving us just as vulnerable and bewildered as my friend has been of late.
Embrace changes that you know to be in your best interests. You don’t have to like them. But if you know they are right, then you must welcome them into your life, whatever else you might feel about them.
What keeps us from being knocked off balance in our difficulties is the knowledge that we’re okay, no matter what. When we have a firm belief in ourselves, when we trust that we will handle whatever comes our way, and when we know we’re making the best decisions possible for ourselves, it helps to keep us on an even keel when things go awry. There is always more strength and a deeper sense of control than we know we’ve got until we’re pushed to acknowledge it.
And in the meantime, please know that you’re not alone. Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution. eydisauthenticliving.com 57