MEDICAL BREAK THROUGH One day, Pete complained to his friend Woody, "Man! My elbow really hurts. I guess I should go see a doctor." Woody said "Don't do that! There's a computer at the corner drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it and it only costs 10 bucks." Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with his urine sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started to flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW. SOAK YOUR ARM IN WARM WATER. AVOID HEAVY LABOUR. YOU WILL BE BETTER IN TWO WEEKS. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, Pete began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer. Giggling like a giddy teenager, he poured in the sample and deposited 10 bucks. The machine again made the usual noises and printed out the following analysis: YOUR TAP WATER IS TOO HARD. GET A WATER SOFTENER. YOUR DOG HAS RINGWORM. BATHE HIM WITH ANTI-FUNGAL SHAMPOO. YOUR DAUGHTER IS USING COCAINE. PUT HER IN A REHABILITATION CLINIC. YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWIN GIRLS. THEY AREN'T YOURS. GET A LAWYER. AND IF YOU DON'T STOP JERKING OFF, YOUR TENNIS ELBOW WILL NEVER GET BETTER.
! 2009 The Laughter Book – Devilishly Funny
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