EGL Family Issue_Claudette Oritz_Nov 2013

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Every Girl Loves m a Healthy Family



With Your Child’s Fath er in 8 Steps season has

fall holiday a magical way of making us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The weather turns from blazing hot to wintery crisp, creating the romantic and clichéd straightaway to ‘baby making’ season.

The process is fun and exciting, but the reality for more than one-quarter of Americans is that they’ll become single parents. In fact, single parent homes have more than tripled since 1960, with the majority being young Black and/or Hispanic women.* Nine or ten months post baby making season often leads many of us to a bouncing bundle of responsibility and decision-making, with a strong possibility that he or she will be deemed a “wedlock baby.”


shows like VH1’s “Family Hustle” and Rapper Ice Cube’s production “Are We There Yet” show us that co-parenting can exist in an effective, mature manner.

by: Ariel C. Willia


S ure,

you may be a part of the aforementioned one-quarter, but that doesn’t mean that you and your child’s father can’t coparent successfully. If you’re on a realistic quest to creating and maintaining a healthy relationship with your child’s father, test out EGL’s top things to do to get there: • Get a clear understanding of his role. “Being a father” may hold different definitions between you and him. Allow him to explain what it means to him to be a father and how he’ll best express those values around your child. • Keep the lines of communication open. If this is your biggest problem, try to agree on comfortable methods of communication between you both like email, text messaging, phone calls, or Facebook. Discuss only relative and important matters and grow from there if you’d like.

• Refrain from comparing your situation with anyone else’s. You’re a unique family with unique needs. Determine the best way to make your nontraditional family work for everyone’s sake. • Enjoy family nights together. Hopefully, this will be a recurring event that’ll take place on the well-planned schedule of sorts! Your child will feel the most special to be around two parents who love him abundantly. Children who are loved are more confident and often perform better in school. Let your child choose how they want to spend time with both parents.


this is a beginner’s guide to creating a Source:

How to Create a

you have a man that wants to be in his offspring’s life, get out of the way and let him. Your son or daughter deserves this time. Plus, it’ll give you a break here and there. http://www.impawards.comtvpostersare_we_there_yet.jpg


• Allow him “real” father and child time. If

• Don’t negatively talk about your child’s father in front of them. Doing this can cause a series of confusion, miscommunication, ill feelings and hatred. You wouldn’t want to explain yourself to your kid later! • Refrain from arguing near your child(ren). As difficult as it may be to keep calm in tense situations, do it anyway. Avoid touchy subjects like money and transportation that may cause an episode. Picking and choosing your battles will work wonders for you both. Small children have tendencies to become afraid, nervous or angry because of his or her parent’s display of anger. • Create (and stick to) real boundaries. In order to co-parent successfully, you must respect each other’s space. Make plans ahead of time by your preferred communication method to execute a well-planned schedule of sorts. Doing this will give your child the best chance of stability in a one parent home.

healthier relationship with your child’s father, the information can serve as a great refresher for seasoned single parents. Tweak this list to fit the needs of your family and enjoy what this holiday season will bring. m

Happy Thanksgiving *Source: archive/2013/09/the-mysterious-and-alarmingrise-of-single-parenthood-in-america/279203/