AND A CHEEKY GAFFE – S NAKED EMBARRAS MENT!
sing commentary gaffes! Last Life, another one of my embarras d the first Race for Life month I mentioned how I’d presente ng confused over my getti and, on Lond in of 2010 at the O2 d to cheer on crow the C-list celebrities had encouraged se Woman’ ‘Loo liar fami ely vagu , the sweaty, red-faced who I thought ’t wasn she crossing the line before realising she was. down in London and, This time, I was again presenting ing the participants view running round the crowd inter p of ladies all grou a ss acro e cam I , before the race ouflage stripes on cam pink dressed in army fatigues with were from a they that ed blish esta ng their faces. Havi going to treat were they if d nearby army base, I wondere on their ling craw style army true in 5k course and complete the you going “Are le the run/walk/ crawl like an assault peop 4000 to find out, I asked them, in front of that none of me red tummies through the mud. Deciding assu and side y funn the se?!” Fortunately they saw commando style round the cour n! it will be a while till I live that one dow them were going commando - but
for Another Cancer Research UK Race
BRIBE AND GROOM
At the time of writing July 3 was the apparent date set for the non-event of the year - Jordan’s money making photo opportunity, sorry I mean wedding, to Alex Reid. Rumours abounded that anyone who’s anyone was snubbing the bash and Jordan was getting so worried about the lack of famous faces that she was considering resorting to paying ‘stars’ to attend her nuptials, particularly as the event is, surprise surpris e, being filmed for her ITV2 show.
At one point it was claimed, the most famous person to accept was Michelle Heaton, yikes! It was also reported in a magazine that she’d been trying to do a deal to get the champ agne supplied free – but been turned down. So you’d think that that would send out a very clear message to both Jordan and the world, that her star is most definitely not on the ascendancy. So why was it then that, in the same press that reported how nobody famous wanted to attend the wedding under the headline ‘Jordan’s in the I do-do ’, we were told in another article that she was planning to desert ITV2 to head to Living TV where a proposed mega-bucks deal would see her TV earnings more than double to £5m over two years. What?! How low does someone’s popularity have to sink before these reality TV people realise WE DON’T CARE, stop wasting your cash! Mind you, having said that, look what happened to Richar d and Judy when they left Channel 4 for the supposedly more lucrative deal over at Watch – the show sank without a trace. So, working on that principal, maybe it will be money well spent after all.
PETERBOROUGH’S RAY OF SUNSHINE It’s only taken until the final series but finally, Peterborough’s been represented in the Big Brother house. And who from our fair city should have received the honour? None other than “beautiful and intelligent” (her words, not mine) medical student Sunshine, whose real name is actually Yvette. Now, it’s very easy to take the mick out of Sunshine/Yvette, the rubbish vegan who lives on crisps and bread and drives a car with the logo ‘powered by fairy dust’ (away with the fairy dust more like) but I have to say, there’s something about her that I really quite like. Unfortunately though, it doesn’t appea r that too many people agree with me at the mome nt so whether or not she remains in the house (as she is at the time of going to press) or has been boote d out by her fairy wings, you can be sure she’s bound to appear in a local panto (Fairy Godmother?!) opening a supermarket or switching on some Christmas lights near us very soon. So here, for anyone who hasn’t come across her yet, are a few important facts about our very own Peterborian ray of Sunshine: • After losing her Mum to cancer when she was 17, Sunshine vowed to work extra hard to become a doctor to try and help stop other people having to feel like she did. • She’s a Tory through and through and wants to become Prime Minister one day – despite admitting she knows chuff all about politics. • She lives with her pet Chihuahua Tinkerbell (didn’t see that one coming - much) and a friend.
SEXY, RICH, FABULOUS – AND SINGLE According to a survey by Fitness First, Kelly Brook has been voted as having the best celebrity body. That’s all very well but, having just split with her latest fella, rugby player Danny Cipriani, it just goes to show that having the best body in the world doesn’t help you keep a man. So girls, let’s raise a glass, say Amen to that, sit back – and pass the Pringles round! www.es p m ag .co.u k ( July )
• She auditioned for Big Bro to prove that “beau ty and brains do mix”. • She fancies Ronaldo but reckons she’d be a rubbish WAG. • She’s had three near death experiences, including one when she accidentally overdosed on anti-malarial drugs in India. So, I’m all prepared to get behind her and encourage the whole of Peterborough to vote to keep our girl in (unless she’s already out, in which case, save your pennies), I just won’t be asking her to prescribe me any medicine (particularly antimalarial ones) any time soon.