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Top Ten Gifts



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Ten top gifts for... Sharing

Erotic Trade Only New Year 2011/12

Woody Allen said: “Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand,” but here are ten top gift ideas for those with partners, any one of which could enhance not just the physical manifestation of the relationship but the relationship itself as well...


Top Ten Gifts



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Ten top gifts for... Him

Erotic Trade Only New Year 2011/12

Lily Tomlin said: “We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation,” and it’s difficult to argue with that. But those who would like to stay in practice but take a break from Mrs Palm and her five sisters have oodles of options these days...


Top Ten Gifts



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Erotic Trade Only New Year 2011/12

Ten top gifts for... Surprising


Leo F Buscaglia said: “Love withers with predictability; its very essence is surprise and amazement,” and in the spirit of that here are ten products which should surprise, and possibly amaze, the recipient whether at Christmas or on Valentine’s Day...

Erotica 2011



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The 2011 London Erotica will be remembered by some as the austerity one, with a sense that belt tightening had been wisely employed. While walking through the show, organiser Savvas Christodoulou told me he thinks the UK is at its low point and that the corner to recovery will have been turned by Erotica 2012, scheduled for November 23-25. In the run up to this show I saw short-but-sweet TV ads for it but missed posters except on the venue itself; a sign of redistribution of promotional effort, if not belt tightening. At least the complimentary show guide retained its traditional gloss, playing on the Strictly dance trend that would be a theme throughout the event. Except for legal reasons the tagline was Dance Seduction. Perhaps intended to appeal more to female visitors this year, I missed the spectacle of past stage shows which were often the highlight of my nine previous Eroticas. For the first time I had elbowroom competition from visitors with cameras too. This significant policy rethink reflects the times. In ‘97 it was enough to experience Erotica. With the growth of social network use, people want to share their experiences and that’s best done with photos and video, uploaded to Facebook, Flickr, Twitter and YouTube for friends to admire and enemies to envy. I didn’t witness any of the discourteous snapper behaviour I feared after I read that the public would be allowed to take pictures, so it seems to have been a successful addition. Man-on-man action on the main stage, where two topless guys tango’d, was only upstaged by acrobatic pole dancer Hamish McCann, whose act - and in no small measure, muscles - delighted the crowds. I actually saw a woman swoon; something I’ve not witnessed since the days of the Bay City Rollers. MINOR DELAYS

Felstead (to know her is to love her - I didn’t know her) was also at the Friday show. The Only Way Is Essex enthusiasts would be treated to some personal appearances on subsequent days. With an entertainment programme complex enough to need its own page in the show guide, explaining what was happening and when on each of the two downstairs stages (main and cabaret), upstairs’ LGBT and DreamBoys stages, plus Fetish Zone demonstrations, the Tenshi Lap Dance club room (admission £10 extra) and London Room seminars, visitors would

have been kept on their toes if they wanted to catch everything. There was always the danger of a snag throwing the whole thing into disarray

too, with resultant timetable clashes an ever-present threat. With a lower-key main stage area, but more going on around the hall, the noise of shows seemed to be more intrusive than previous years. It was an issue for some stands, where customer communication suffered. was one exhibitor that mentioned the regular noise, and was also a bit miffed to have been placed behind a column. Another pointed out how stands had been shifted back compared to 2010’s floor plan, with columns ‘moving’ from the rear to front corners of many to give wider aisles. Yet another exhibitor who asked not be named - described the show as having, “More red carpet than a royal wedding.” There was certainly no shortage of access to stands, let me put it that way. In the show’s favour, it wasn’t afflicted with empty booths, and nor had every Whirlpool Bath Tom, Wig-selling Dick and Power Shower Harry been invited along as ‘filler’. That’s not to say no exhibitor gave me a quizzical expression... The Shawbury Vintners - Importers of Fine Wines - were joined by Erotica stalwarts Toffoc toffee vodka, the Chocolate Fondue Company, Deep Tissue Massagers, Sofsof hair styling equipment and DHA Labs Ltd’s Hollywood Tattoos, whatever they might be. Salt Heaters, Magic Clip hair, the Signature Style Bar - I could go on. So I will: Onyx Cosmetic Clinic laser hair removal, a teeth whitener, Teme Valley beds, Perfect Brows, Fit Body Promotions, ‘Colourful Drinks’ with £1 vodka shots, Mute soundproofing(.com)... No RSPB this year though. Instead we had the Erotica Cocktail Bar, Erotica Winter Ball booth, Erotica Toy Fair and Film Fest,

Erotic Trade Only New Year 2011/12

With the shutters rolling up at 11am on Friday November the 18th, Erotica was due to be officially opened at 12.30pm by Sven’s ex and Strictly Come Dancing exitee Nancy Dell’Olio and although she kept a gaggle of photographers and fans waiting, when she arrived it was worth the delay. Sporting heels so killer they should be called Shipmans, she strutted to the VIP area in front of the stage for champagne and posed for the paps in a black latex dress practically designed for the showbiz gossip pages before joining her male partner for a slightly faltering first dance on the stage. Made in Chelsea [a TV show I’ve never seen] stars Spencer Matthews and Hugo Taylor [men I’ve never heard of] were also sighted at the show, in the distance, flanked by security bots. Although, wearing

sunglasses indoors, I initially mistook them both for Bono. Their MiC co-star Alexandra ‘Binky’


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Full Page AD - ETO Happy Xmas



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ETO New Year 2012