Issuu on Google+

Eastern Mediterranean University/ Faculty of Education/ Department of ELT 2007 – 2008 Spring Semester

ELTE 104 – ADVANCED READING & WRITING 2 Week 9: Argumentative Writing

Having a part-time job while studying brings advantages to university students. Argue for or against the statement

Student Essays: Draft 1 Feedback

1


COMPLEXITY by Hatice Erarslan Having a job while studying causes some disadvantages, isnt’t it? When a student goes to the university he must take more attention to his lessons than the other things. Because he can develop himself perfectly in these university years. If someone has a

Comment: Gr Comment: Wrong collocation Comment: Starting a sentence with because?

job while studying he comes across some inevitable disadvantages, like getting bad Comment: Good, TS with 2 support ideas

marks and sleepless days and nights. Firstly, I want to talk about getting bad marks. If a student works while studying he

Comment: May omit this part

can not focus on his lectures effectively. Because while at work he can not think about

Comment: Same problem, you can link two sentences with because but not after a full-stop

his homework or something like this. So, working takes the first place of his life. But

Comment: anything else

some people believe that if you can keep the balance you can work while studying. However, this is not easy and nobody can do this even he says I can do it. If I say this sentence to them immediately they say “But I know somebody keeping that balance”.

Comment: redundant; omit this Comment: insert when Comment: omit

But we are talking general so exceptions do not change anything in this topic. I want to say just one thing about getting bad marks. If we get bad marks this shows us we do not know anything about our lectures, and this one shows that in the future we will

Comment: omit

come across a lot of difficulties in our working life. Secondly, working while studying at university results in sleepless days and nights. Since if our job at night or at late hours we must not sleep at work and we can not

Comment: insert is

sleep at school as well. So, sleepless days and nights are inevitable. We can see a person who works at night sleeps on his desk at school. Therefore, he can not learn anything and maybe this will be an unsocial life. Some people say that you can choose a job which is suitable for you and you do not have to work at nights. It maybe true but there is no job waiting for us in anticipation and employers are not admite to us. They choose an employee not we. But of course if you do not want to work you don’t.

Comment: Good! CA-C-R Comment: ?? Comment: us

Shortly, I’m against the idea of having a job while studying at university. I believe that if you do not take care of your real works nothing takes care of you. Lastly, there is a sentence about doing lots of things: “A person who wants to do lots of things can not do anything.” Hatice, you have a clear standpoint with two supporting ideas. Here are some suggestions for the second draft: 2

Comment: a nice concluding remark, ending up with a quotation…


- Introduction: Start with a hook, then briefly throw in a counter-argument and refute it with your argument, which leads to your thesis statement. - Body: It would be better if you add support from outside sources to one or both of your arguments: some statistics or study report on how having a job would affect students negatively… - Conclusion: Add a restatement of your thesis statement before the concluding remarks.

HARDWORKING YOUNGSTERS – Rabia Have you ever thought about the impacts of working while studying on university students? Most people are on the opinion that when young people work, they learn more about the real life. Even though working has some benefits, it affects young ones so badly that they have problems related to time, responsibilities and money. Firstly, I can say that if you work and earn your own money, you will be satisfied with yourself and think that the life is worth-living. But is it easy to succeed? Of course, not! You will pobably encounter difficulties related to time. Since you’ve two things in your mind (one is your school and the other is your job), you have to spend your time only for those. You will have no time for yourself. You may lose your private life. Between school and work you wil feel tired and so ignore your priorities; such as, your family and friends.They will be angry with you because you spend less time with them. In addition, trying to understand who is working in class is so easy, because he is the one sleeping during the lesson. Because of your energetic and tiring life style, you can’t help sleeping at school. This also causes you to have difficulty in following the lessons.Then “failure”appears. Secodly, young people are the ones who want less responsibility in their life. Schoolwork brings many responsibilities. For example, you have to do lots of homework ,projects,research. Then midterms and final exams come closer. These are all important issues. When there are many essential things you have to think, how can you work productively? As you are trying to deal with all these duties, you may harm your health. How? Because the more responsibilty there is, the more stress it means. 3


Stress is a strong factor that can lead you to both bad habits and depression. Finally, young people who begin to earn their own money may not solve their problems comletely. At the beginning it makes them feel appreciated. But then they may begin to use their money not wisely. They may become accustomed to a different life style. The desire of earning more and more money may increase and so they may even leave the school and prefer to work only. In conclion, everything is beautiful when it is its time. Because after guraduation from university, a hard and stressful working life begins undoubtfully. If we make it begin earlier, it will become more difficult. 3 years later we will probably have no time for ourselves so I think that while we are free now, we must realize the value of time. Because time flies.

Draft 1 - Mustafa Yenilmez There are lots of advantages having a job while studying at university. Students learn difficulties of the life and also realize how they can stand on their step. But besides there are lots of disadvantages to their studying life. It may be well, welfare, no thinking pocket for a student working while studying but its too harmful to follow lesson and education experience. In most universities there are a lot of students who work in somewhere as a part time labour. The student, who works part time, spent half of his/her day at the school, the other half of day at the work. When s/he comes from working, directly will go to bed. But ''who will do your homework? oww common my friend! wake up-wake up!'' as like this his/her roomate/ homemate will warn this labour student. So it causes irregular life at the university. S/he absolutely will sleep during lecture or this student will not concentrate on lessons. Having a job while studying obtains experience to learn how the life is lived. Beside its obtained taking responsibilities for him/her future life and it makes the students manage diffuculties. Ä?f i give a examples, last year i was working in a cafe as a motorbiker. I was earning so much money. I never thougt ma pocket. But when i came to dorm i couldnt stand on my leg. So every day i was in ma bed. When i found a spare 4


time, i tried to study and i couldnt meet with my friend to chat or do something. Because i was a labour student. Friendships are so important during university life. Working while studying causes to get away from social life and mutual friends in the university life. When a labour student has spare time, s/he can't find a friend to spend his/her time together. it maybe cause to make him/her disappointment. Because student, who works in anywhere, feels alone him/her self .Perhaps it can follow drinking and using drugs. In conclusion there are more disadvantages of having a job while studying than advantages. Students shouldnt work while they study at university. they should just think their lessons their friendships and their life. Money is not problem sometimes. there are our parents behind our backs.

WORKING WHILE STUDYING – Anıl K. Earning money is a good thing for everyone. If you are a student, it will be more attractive to you because it is very difficult both studying and working. If you both work and study, you will have some difficulty with following lessons, having social activities and having ambition for earning more money. Firstly, lessons are the most important thing for a student. If student will miss a lesson, s/he has a big lost. When we think of a student who works while studying, s/he will have obscurity in following lessons. S/he will be tired after working. Therefore, s/he doesn’t want to listen about lessons and if s/he has homework, s/he won’t do that. That will affect the student negatively. Secondly, a working student doesn’t have time for him/herself. So, they won’t do anything except sleeping. Whenever they find any spare time, they will prefer to sleep. So, their life will be monotous. Last, student will not care about his/her lessons when s/he started to earn her/his own money. When a person earns money, s/he wants more than that money. So, s/he will have ambitious to earn more. With this desire, student will work for full- time job. Also, s/he will spend more money because s/he thinks that I have money and I can

5


spend it wherever I want. As a result of this situation, student may finish his/her student life. In conclusion, students shouldn’t have work while studying. As we see, it has only disadvantage.

Draft 1 – Nuray Kaya Most of the students think that working is a good experience for them because they learn how stand on their own feet. But it is hard to keep up both studying and working. If they work long hours they have difficulty in following lessons, doing homework and saving time for social activities. Many students want to have job to earn money. They may be right to want it, because of their school expenditure and lacking of enough financial support from their families. However, if students have hard jobs, they can not follow their lectures, they get tired at work then can't keep up with the lessons. They think they deserve sleeping after long hours hard work. After that the can not concentrate on their lessons. Secondly, unless they follow their lessons they have difficulty in doing homework because of lacking of necessary information for fulfilling the assessment. the working students are always in rush,so they do their home tasks in rush which means having low grades. this is another disadvantage of working long hours while studying. Finally, working students can't find time for social activities. If they have extra time, they sleep for relaxing as they are tired of rushing all the time. In addition they become antisocial youngsters who can't have enough fun. then, they get stressed. Yet they may earn only money for short terms but the long term effects can be depressing. In conclusion, working long hours while studying affects students' academic life in a negative way. they can not follow lessons, they can't concentrate on their assessment and they can't have time for social activities. So it is harmful both for their academic and social life.

6


Draft 1 – Zeynep ES Many students have a job while they are studying at university. Especially they prefer part time jobs as they can attend to their lessons. Earning money for students can be beneficial but harms of working while studying is much more. Because students who have a job can't follow their lessons regularly, have irregular life and they spend too much unwisely. Working students think that they able to both work and study. But it is so hard. There are lots of disadvantages about this situation. For example, students are in difficulty to concentrate on lessons. They are tired because of working outside. So they can't be interested to their courses adequately. Also they have no time to do their homework so they can't be succesful on their exams. In addition that working while studying causes of irregular life for students. They have no time for social activities. They can't spend time with their friends for entertainment. So they can have stress even ba habits. For example; alcohol,drugs... Finally, these students spend too much due to thinking of earning money themselves. May be, they think that if we work in a part time job,they can live more comfortable. However, their spending money unwisely is absurd. As they work in part time job, they can fail their exams. In conclusion, students can want to earn money while they are studying. But they can't bu succesful both of them. They should only choose ones. I think that they must prefer studying at university than having a part time job because of being students.

Having a Job,While Studing at University – FERÄ?DE MUTLU University does not only mean that studing, learning or gaining information ,it also help people to come over the challenges of life.Some people can achive this but some can not.Therefore , people can argue about these challenges.The most popular one is that while you are a student at university, you also work in somewhere.This one can be seen hard and so it is.Besides it also has benefits.Actually there three main advantages and disadvantages for this argument. The advantages of having a job,while studing at university are that learnning to come 7


over the challenge,getting experince and helping you to be active person.First advantage which is learning to come over challenge, learn the student how to stand on their own feet.Second advantage is in terms of getting experience.For example you gain idea the working life ,you learn something,you meet people.Therefore, in future these experiences can help you.Last one is in terms of helping to be active person.You used to the tempo of working, it is also helpfull for future, because you learn the important of your money. The disadvantages of having a job,while studing at university are that hard to follow lesson, no time for social activities and stress(bad habits).First disadvantages is that hard to follow lesson. Because you have less time to concantrate on lesson.Second disadvantages is that no time for social activities.You cant go outside ,you are so busy,even sometimes you cannot sleep so big probably your relations with outside cut down.Third one is that stress.Stress is very general term but if the people cannot get over all these ,he/she get into stress.Maybe they can start bad habit such as smoking,drinking. In conclusion,we see that university has a really big and variety meanings for people’s life.Especially it is very hard to have a job,while studing.But, there are main advantages and disadvantages.I think ,it is hard but every sts should try it and they can learn the life better.

WORKING A JOB WHĐLE STUDYĐNG – EBRU GÖK Many students are trying to working a part time job while studying. Part time job is very popular for students who are trying to support themselves. But working may impact their study to do badly. If a students work as a part time job while studying they will be unable to cope with their studies. They can not spend time their courses or projects. Because no time to do homework or less time to concentrate on lessons. Moreover, they may have difficulties in following the class. They are too tired and do not want to go to class. A large amount of money in hand may be easily started to use bad habits. That is to say, they can earn a lot of money and then easily involved drug addition and alcoholic. 8


So they can be unconcern to their education. All students need time to relax after studying. we can easily see them that if they only students and work their courses, they will be very stressful and tired. So that, we shouldn't’t do part time job and have some time to relax. We can join the social activities and play basketball or tennis like this in our free time. So I think that student shouldn’t do part time jobs while studying

HAVING A JOB WHILE IN UNIVERSITY – SONAY Many students think that having a job while studying is a good thing but in fact,it is not.It has a lot of disadvantages.For example, it is hard to follow the lessons, you don't have time for social activities/clubs, and you can't find time to do homework or even sometimes sleep. First of all, it is hard to follow the lessons while working in a job at university. You can't go to classes regularly. If you don't go to the classes, you don't know what the others did at the lesson. This reflects to your grades and you feel disappointed because of the bad marks. Another disadvantage of it is that you can't find time for social activities/clubs. Even you want to go any sports that you like, you can't go or do it. Almost all of your day passes at work. You can't go anywhere with your friends. Sometimes you can't find any time for you so you may feel exhausted and burned out. Finally, you can't find time to do homework or even sometimes sleep.If you are given homework, you must do it. It is your resonsibility to do it. You shouldn't forget that you are a student in university. You should do your homeworks on time. Otherwise you can't learn anything. In short, education and working are diffrent things from each other while yuo are in university. If your aim is to have a good job in the future, you should study your lessons.

9


TEENAGERS AND JOBS – Sevtap University student often look for jobs to make their life easier.Earning money makes them feel strong.They can get whatever they want and even if these things are littlle,they make them happy.However,working as a part time results in a number of problems.When a student works,it causes irregular life at the university,you have less time for social activities and you spend too much money. Students who work as a part time, have difficulties about following the lesson.They cant concentrate on lesson.They adapt to work and they cant even find time to sleep.Their life become irregular.They are often stereotyped.Students forget about other things. In addition, too much work reduces the social activity for student.The students start to become passive and because of tiring day,they become unwilling to do some activities.Those students become exhausted and they isolated themselves.They deal with just jop and school. Finally, teenagers who work alot spend too much money.They think that they earn their own money so, they spend it without thinking or asking for permission from their parents. They feell independence. Therefore they become extravagant. In conclusion, student can earn their own money and try to stand on their feet,but they must regulate their time according to their lesson, otherwise they feel disappointed about university life...

10


Essays_Draft1