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Front page Template only copy masthead from template over cover

Photo: Jamie Corbin

Issue 9 Monday 23 February 2009

Issue 9 Monday 23 February 2009

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+ 0 0 5,0Gyms ut

gho d u o r th Unite the gdom Kin

Photo: Will Teddy

e Featur

Gym’ll fix it? Exercise bikes and stereotypes the microcosm of University

By Thierry Cornbury Illustrator: Carole Kenrick

If you made any New Year’s Resolutions, frequently need to work off high levels of tension, or are just an avid fan of really bad music and other people’s sweat, there’s a chance you’ve been to the gym at least once. If you’ve never visited the planet exercise, prepare yourself for a peek of what it’s like inside. The Gym Bunny Pounding effortlessly away on the crosstrainer, this terrifying sight directs icy stares of contempt at the weight-watching crowd and pretends not to notice the Gladiators directing lustful glances at her impeccably-toned backside. She’s not here to flirt or to socialise. She’s here to keep fit, maintaining her lithe, compact little body the only way she knows how. Some sort of costly, branded exercise-wear is required if you dare to aspire to this model, preferably made of a high-tech fabric that manages to be sufficiently clinging yet allow ample freedom of movement for, say, doing the splits. This girl has absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Boy, does she know it. You can tell by how rigorously she ignores everyone around her. Despite this, her sheer unattainable perfection somehow makes her less intimidating. Of course you could do it if you wanted to. However it all looks a little too much like painful, timeconsuming, self-denying work. Leave her to it. The Gladiators These optimistic lads take up a prime posing position with some macho-looking weights immediately on arrival. Their aim: to be seen. Their target audience: everybody, but especially the gym bunnies, and each other. How-to: Lift something just heavy enough to show off your biceps to good advantage, but not too heavy, or you won’t be able to keep it up for the required amount of time to ensure you get noticed. Chat nonchalantly. Pity the poor fools who can’t lift as many weights as you. Ridicule the show-offs on steroids who can lift many, many more weights than you. Sling your towel over your shoulder, stroll out, and subtly slip into as many casual conversations as possible the fact that you’ve been to the gym: “Good to see you, yeah, how’s it going? I’ve just been working out,” while your body language screams, “CAN YOU TELL?!” You

go three times a week. Pathetic. Go away and do a real man’s sport, one where you get covered in dirt. The Sporadic Weight-Watchers “Horses sweat, gentlemen perspire, but ladies glow.” Following this famous proverb’s rule of thumb, these girls are demonstrably horses. For you, stretching is only the first hurdle. After writhing around ineffectually for a few minutes, looking dubiously at the treadmill with ill-concealed fear, you get on it and pant along, red-faced, for a mile or two. Unfortunately, the fact that you’ve only eaten half a cucumber and two carrots for lunch means you get tired very quickly, and have to go for a sit-down and a cigarette to recover. You’re less of an optimist and more of a fantasist. You’re unable to accept the simple truth that there’s something fundamentally unworkable about deciding every Sunday night to lose a stone by Friday, making an inhuman effort for the first couple of days, and then abandoning the whole plan until next week in favour of a takeaway and ‘Coyote Ugly.’ I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but this is why your thong makes you look like a hot cross bun when you bend over. Be realistic, and set yourself manageable targets. At the very least, you fulfil the worthwhile purpose of making everybody else feel good about themselves. The Good Intentions Distinguishable from the above by the fact that they’re in perfectly acceptable shape already, and are just here because they’ve heard it’s what other people do on their free afternoon. Despite sounding like a seventies soul trio, this group is decidedly unglamorous. There’s nothing wrong with going to the gym in your pyjamas, though, is there? Especially when the alternative is cycling shorts. You’ve seen the weightwatchers wearing them and decided the two-balloons-fighting-in-a-bin-bag look is not for you, nor can you afford to invest in true gym bunny couture. But you’re at the gym, aren’t you? And that’s what counts, isn’t it? It’s true what everyone says about exercise producing endorphins. An hour or two sitting on the exercise balls gossiping can make you feel incredibly virtuous and relaxed. Especially if someone smuggled in a Galaxy Caramel. Mmm.

Men Gyming Badly

After several days of procrastination you have finally made it to the gym. Dressed in an old t-shirt and a pair of tracksuit bottoms that are distinctly well past their sell-by date, you venture into the world of clunking machines, weight lifters and general ‘sporty’ enthusiasts. But this should come as no surprise, as let’s face it, they are all typical aspects of a gym environment. What you hadn’t expected however, was the extraordinary lack of social skills these apparently perfectly formed specimens have. Amongst this den of health-conscious gym goers are a variety of characters who simply have no awareness of what is acceptable when being in a public place. As you step onto the treadmill a waft of the most horrific sweat bombards your fresh Lenor-smelling top. You turn to your left expecting to see a rather overweight middle-aged man dripping, and instead you are met with a perfectly Nike-clad student jogging effortlessly to her MP3 with last

night’s make-up slowly disintegrating with every stride. Quickly you move to the rowing machine and as you pull the handle towards you your hands are distinctly clammy and the seat is actually wet! During your induction the instructor had categorically warned you that failure to bring a towel to wipe down machinery would result in you being turned away at the door, unable to use the facilities, which is a dire prospect seeing as it probably takes you half a week to pluck up the energy to get your foot through the door. And yet it is clear that the regulars do not follow this simple and acceptable form of courtesy. You pass through to the next room and notice you are being ogled at by a fourth year. At first it is mildly flattering, but does he honestly think using the mirror to spy on a girl is subtle! Yes boys, we know exactly what you are doing. He has stacked up the free weights in bicep-bulging order by his side, clearly to impress the others nearby. You’re concerned more for his

safety at lifting those dum-bells more than anything, and the stares of fury that come from other hefty rugby boys due to the fact he’s hogging the weights becomes increasingly disconcerting. Last resort is the bikes. Unfortunately you’re recovering from a bit of a cough after last nights Golden Virginia binge and you clear your throat before you embark on your 5-K. The non-deodorant wearing gymmer to your right however, decides he doesn’t want your ‘germs’ and promptly asks you to leave claiming you are not in a fit state for cycling. You leave, immediately heading for the changing room. Only you are shocked to see a woman completely naked retrieving her clothes at a leisurely pace from one of the lockers. The sight is enough to make anyone burn those calories and run. You knew the gym wasn’t going to be the most thrilling way to spend your lunch hour, but it would have been mildly bearable with a few social niceties. Lucinda Elliot

Love it or loathe it...

The gym. Love, hate, dread and severe apathy are to name but a few of the diverse sentiments that these two syllables provoke. A few months before the start of term, the University of Bristol send a weighty envelope through the letterbox of each soon-to-be fresher. Enclosed is a glossy catalogue listing the merits of buying a Sports, Exercise and Health pass. Amongst perks like access to the Coombe Dingle tennis courts and use of the swimming pool at the Union, the main attraction is the gym membership. Yet for every undergraduate who has a weekly routine that features dedicated treadmill sessions there are many more whose exercise pass has been left redundant, or at least severely neglected, during their university career. So why are people so allergic to the gym? It seems that really it’s the idea of the gym that is so off-putting. The notion of a students’ gym creates images of prison-like cells packed with rugby and rowing types pacing away at the machines relentlessly and scarily. Non-gym goers often think that the other half are a smug band of elite

sporty pros who would scorn newcomers and enjoy the feeling of superiority they get from walking around campus in their trackies. But alas these arguments are inherently flawed. Just stepping inside the gym would exorcise the first misconception. Windows! Ventilation! Space! Light! Air! There are even grannies doing their stuff really really slowly who should put us non-goers to shame. The ambience is actually alright and it isn’t super intimidating. As to the second concern, regulars at the gym probably aren’t waiting in glee for the moment when the novice will slide off the treadmill in an amateur heap of unfitness. That said, for a lot of people the more straightforward and less psychological reason that they don’t hit the gym is because they just find it pretty boring. Bought one of those adapter things to plug into the equipment? No? Then watching TV isn’t an option. Whilst the treadmill might say your legs have just run 5 miles your brain is not so easily fooled. You haven’t. You are clearly still on Tyndall Avenue. Although a lot of your brain is reminding you that what you’re doing isn’t pointless

as “the lard needs to go”, there is another more innate sense of reason that ridicules the whole practice, (“You’ve been running on the spot for the last twenty minutes! What are you doing with your life?). Whilst we’re all told that to achieve the best workout we should ‘mix things up,’ the nature of the gym is such that the transition from bike to step machine somehow doesn’t seem all that wild. The unchanging scenery of the gym means that once your specially compiled ‘On the go’ playlist has driven you insane and you’ve mentally planned your outfits for the next 6 nights out as well as decided what’s for dinner and pondered in excessive detail the events of Joe P’s the night before there’s really not much left to do or think about. How dull. Gym inductions are still available to book and indeed seem to be full most days. This implies that something – possibly guilt at the wasted money or shock at the postChristmas muffin top’s stubborn insistence on staying put even in February- is making more and more people slowly come round to the idea that the gym might have to be a sad but necessary part of student existence. Olivia Sayers

Issue 9 Monday 23 February 2009

Issue 9 Monday 23 February 2009

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nt a r u a t Res e Featur

Get me out of the gym Air guitar, toddler runs, we’d do anything... At the peak of their popularity five years ago, 8.7 million Britains were members of gyms and health clubs; yet statistics from the accountancy firm Deloitte reveal t h a t 54,000 fewer people took out gym membership during 2007 than they had 18 months previously. So why have we stopped? Is it an aversion to exercise or to the gym itself that holds us back? Martin Hagger, a social and health psychologist at the University of Nottinghan says “gyms feed into people’s insecurities about their weight and appearance, and get them to join in the belief that they can change those things. Yet it has been shown time and again in studies that extrinsic motivational factors, such as improving the way you look, or losing weight, are unlikely to achieve the desired results. If people exercise simply to shed fat, not because they enjoy it, they will either give up before they achieve their goal or will think ‘job done’ when it is finally reached, then revert to their old habits of inactivity.” Millie Randall, a student at the University

o f Bristol agrees “I’ve never been to a gym. I just can’t imagine myself being able to stay motivated in one! I think the majority of people only go to the gym to get fitter, not for enjoyment and if I went to the gym I’d be

doing the same.” Instead she, along with many others, partakes in exercise that is both physically and mentally challenging, and consequently more interesting than the average trip to the gym. Rock climbing and pole dancing, which in fact burns four hundred calories an hour, the equivalent of two Mars bars. Although it is commonly associated with strip clubs, this form of exercise is becoming increasingly popular. It increases upper body strength and tones the body as a whole. There is even a worldwide effort underway to make pole dancing an Olympic sport. It would appear that motivation and enjoyment are the key factors in staying healthy and fit, whilst the gym has gained the stigma of appealing more to the ‘image’ conscious than the ‘health’ conscious. With the Union and Athletic Union offering many different sports and societies, including fencing, rowing, ballroom dancing and yoga, it would appear that there are countless sports which one can pursue in order to avoid the monotony of the treadmill. Yet even these sudden bouts of exercise have been argued to be less effective than moderate daily activity. In a 2001 study, Professor Klaas Westerterp, of Maastricht University in the Netherlands, found that people who did moderate amounts of daily activity burnt more calories than those who performed short but intense gym sessions at lunchtime or after work. “After a tough workout, people typically limit their activity and either go back to their desk or relax for the evening, assuming that they have done enough.” Could there be a way of losing weight and keeping fit without having to don sweatbands and tracksuits? Well perhaps in your next visit to Syndicate, you could try playing the air guitar, which burns approximately 3.5 calories a minute. And even though you may only need a pint of milk from Sainsbury’s pushing two supermarket trolleys at once when shopping burns up to 8 calories a minute. And if you’re lucky enough to find a stray toddler in your hands you might want to carry it to the authorities, a good deed which will burn up to 9 calories a minute. Or if you’re just too cool for school, why not hit the playground and burn 7.5 calories a minute with a mean hopscotch? Kate O’Donoghue

Cotham’s Juniper nd e i r f e Th r facto

Got what it takes? It always has been and always will be all about him and his friends: how he handles them and how he handles you. Now we all know the age old philosophy ‘Bros before Hos’ but why cant we just peacefully coexist? Sadly peace cannot be on the cards. You’re on trial. You know it and his friends know it and enjoy it. As soon as he says he wants you to meet them you know it’s NOT going to be a quiet pint in the pub. This is no casual meeting - it’s a vetting process. You refuse the white wine spritzer, afraid it might hinder your reflexes: you have to be witty, inquisitive and calm all at the same time. The pressure of having to be one hundred percent attentive is too much. You tune out for a second to consider the absurdity and seriousness of the situation. He wants his friends to get to know you. You’re here with his friends. That’s good right? It’s his friends and you. WRONG. It’s his friends versus you – it’s crunch point. It could be the end of the line. Your breathing gets shallow. If his friends don’t like you neither will he! It’s as simple as that. Crap. The panic makes you stutter and despite not having a drink, you manage to spill his. Great. Now the ‘blond’ stereotype will totally stick. There goes your attempt at intelligence. And you’re suddenly paranoid about what you’re wearing. You’re not entirely convinced your post-Christmas bump (no you still haven’t got rid of it) is effectively hidden by what you earlier thought was a ‘cleverly’ tailored top. There’s only one thing for it: ‘Drinks anyone?’ You buy the next two rounds to get back on track. It’s not the time for abstinence. You grab that white wine spritzer while you’re at it. The gesture wins you approval. You feel pretty chuffed with yourself, you’ve salvaged the evening. But don’t get too comfortable. There are his friends…but then there is his mother. Just Hayley

What are you doing on Tuesday? Nothing? Then head down to Juniper to enjoy their absolutely exquisite student menu. Set on the nearby Cotham Road South Juniper is a smart yet relaxing restaurant that offers some of the best presented and tasty food in Bristol. At the Mix we’ve reviewed their new Tuesday night special for students. For £25 per person you can enjoy a fantastic three course meal and half a bottle of even better wine each. With between 5-7 options for each meal there’s bound to be something on the menu for everyone to like, if not love and since it’s seasonal you can keep on going back without getting bored. So why not try it for a first date, a friend date or even the last date.

To start I enjoyed crab with a coriander salad, orange and chive crème fraiche, watercress sorbet and mango dressing. Not being the biggest fan of crab, this meal definitely won me over with the richness of the crème fraiche but cleansing nature of the sorbet. My guest had the goats cheese, red onion jams, wild rocket, red pepper syrup, balsamic caramel and fresh pesto. This was an absolutely fantastic explosion of flavours, - and I only had a bite. For the mains I enjoyed the breast of a duck with red onion tart tatin and cherry compote. My guest had a free range chicken stuffed with mozzarella, sun dried tomatoes and fresh basil. Both were served with seasonal vegetables. The main meals were as exquisite as the starters, if not

more so. The portions were big enough (especially since we still had another meal to come) and the service and presentation even better! For dessert I had a rich chocolate terrine with a trio of raspberry and my guest had the sticky toffee pudding. Both were lush. The terrine is not for the faint-hearted or diabetics amongst us. I would, however, still recommend it to those chocoholics out there. With friendly service, outstanding food and wine and affordable prices, Juniper is a great option for any student wanting to impress or just have a good meal out. There is also a private function room upstairs which is ideal for birthdays. Rosie O’Reilly

A cosy supper for snowy evenings. The beauty of Shepherd’s Pie is that it can be done ahead and reheated, even frozen, ready for a rainy day and a bare fridge. Heat the oil and butter in a large saucepan over a low heat. Stir in the vegetables and herbs. Season, cover and cook for 15 minutes till soft. Increase flame and add the lamb. Stir for a couple of minutes until browned and add tomato puree and red wine. Simmer for 510 minutes until the wine has reduced. Add the hot stock, reduce the temperature to medium and simmer for 40 minutes until reduced. If you find after half an hour that there is still quite a lot of liquid, increase the

heat and stir in a tablespoon of plain flour. Preheat the oven to 200C. While the mince is cooking, make the mashed potato by peeling and cooking the spuds in salted water and mashing thoroughly. Warm the milk through and add to the mash with a couple of knobs of butter. Whip through and taste for seasoning. Transfer the mince to an oven-proof dish and spoon over the mash (it is up to this point that you can do the dish ahead of time). Cook for 30 minutes until crisp on top, and serve with some green vegetables.

Recipoeok b

Frost Buster

Shepherd’s Pie

*15g butter 1 tablespoon oil 1 onion, peeled and nely chopped 4 carrots, peeled and diced 2 sticks celery, diced *A handful of chopped parsley *A teaspoon nely chopped rosemary *500g minced lamb 1 tablespoon tomato puree *200ml red wine *500ml hot chicken or lamb stock *Flour (if necessary) *1kg potatoes *200ml milk *Butter *Salt and pepper

James Ramsden

ON PARK STREET Whether you are one of the extreme skateboarders launching yourself down Park Street, or one of the pain-stricken cyclists precariously wobbling your way up, there will be something of interest for you on this locally famous incline. If skull motifs are your thing then the sinister faced mannequins adorning the window of Shrinking Violets will surely lure you in. Complete your look with some fake tattoos from Clothing Federation. If this applies to you then College Green should probably be your next destination, plenty of like-minded people will be awaiting your arrival. At the opposite end of the College Green, and also the social spectrum, are the cityslicker residents of the Marriott, or your parents. Shops that may be of interest to such people include Reiss, Jigsaw, L.K.Bennett and Guild. When laden with shopping bags, Goldbrick House is the perfect stop for lunch or dinner. Enjoy the stylist modern décor and great menus in both the café and the restaurant. If you are young, free and easy, it is worth noting that Nomad offer vaccinations as well as stocking all you need to embark on your backpacking adventures. If you crave the taste of foreign lands, but can’t afford to go far, then Yia Mass will provide you with an incredible continental experience. This bar is bursting with a variety of European hits and the clientele will also contribute to the authentic experience. For the potentially under-appreciated social group of music lovers, Park Street caters for your passionate cause. Find your inspiration and cheap deals at FOPP, before you head next door to The Music Room to choose an instrument that will help you find fame. Practice makes perfect, so head to Boston Tea Party and perform at the open mic night, every other Tuesday between 810pm. See how it’s done across the road at The Cooler which hosts a number of live acts. Let the night continue at one of the many late licence venues such as Agora which is open until 6am. These are great places to congregate with friends after having been to either Easy Tiger or The Tube. At the end of your night stare upwards with affection at the illuminated Wills Memorial building, the most cherished landmark of Bristol University.

Issue 8 Monday 9 February 2009

Guadalajara Zigzag Will Teddy This photo utilises two classic photographic techniques, perspective and groupings of three. The image presents both an interesting minimalist pattern and a sense of depth, the later created by the three people being on different levels in the image. The eye is carried up, through the photo by the movement of the child - we know exactly where he is going, obediently following his mother. This aspect of the image is strangely comforting. Camera: Canon 400D, 1/250 at f/18.

Next issue Theme six: Adventure. Email high-res entries to by 4 March.

The Epigram Photography competition will be running all year, offering readers the chance to win hundreds of pounds of photography equipment. Each issue will have a set theme and the winning entry will be displayed on this double page spread. Each theme winner will be put forward to the final round of selection, where the best entry of the year will win first prize. Wide and versitile interpretation of the set themes is strongly encouraged.

Issue 8 Monday 9 February 2009

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Issue 9 Monday 23 February 2009

What the hell are you doing here?!

Hi Sven, did you miss me? Last week on Clifton Close...

Issue 9 Monday 23 February 2009

Dear Miss B, I have an insatiable crush on my lecturer. I count down the days until my lectures with him...

: t o h s ’ What

Dear Miss B

Dear Miss B

I have an insatiable crush on my lecturer. I count down the days until my lectures with him. For every one I make sure that I am wearing a new and very revealing outfit. He is divine. I can’t get enough of him. Is this a normal feeling that I am having? Or am I a freak of nature?! What shall I do?

I have just received the fantastic news that my parents are going to buy me a car. Fed up of continually sending me money for worn out shoes suffering at the hands of the treacherous morning walk from Stoke Bishop into Uni, they have decided to end my misery and get me some wheels. What car do you advise I get? Bearing in mind I am the coolest of the cool.

I came home the other night from a night out to find my boyfriend in my bed with my housemate. Luckily I was spared the gory activity that they had been delighting in just moments before but I just can’t seem to get over it. I dumped him immediately and haven’t spoken to him since. I am absolutely heartbroken, should I take him back? Distraught from Durdham

...Sven makes a swift escape. Me and Sven are happy together...he loves me. You and him are over!!

Leave us alone & never come back!!

Please help me! I’m falling!!!

We’ve all fooled ourselves into believing we fancy our lecturer. The air of wisdom they possess, the power and authority, the way their paunch looks in that fraying tweed suit – I must admit I’ve been there. But then I discovered that he was simply a pawn in my quest for a first, and subconsciously I knew that I only felt that way in order for him to feel the same and subsequently award me the grade that would secure my place at Harvard. Do you have a conditional offer for a post-graduate course? If the answer is yes, then I think I may have solved your dilemma, and the trick is to carry on the way you are going. You never know, he may just have a hunger for the love of a student which you can satisfy, but be careful to hold back from anything serious. If I have got this hideously wrong, and you have no desire for academic success, then this may be a bit more trouble. Generally speaking, relationships between lecturers and their students tend to be a subject which is frowned upon, so I’d try and conceal your emotions until the timing is right and you have walked free of the University, gown and scroll in hand. If it’s not that particular lecturer you are in love with, and more the idea of one and you are open to suggestions, there is no reason not to scour the county and sample the delights of what other universities have to offer, and no rules will be broken. Good luck!


Arrogant from Alma Road Avenue Well if that’s how you refer to yourself then you would do just fine with something that represents your geekiness. A threewheeler perhaps? I won’t pretend I’m Jeremy Clarkson, although if I were to choose, it would have to be Richard Hammond of course. Anyway, I don’t know much about cars. I couldn’t tell the difference between mpg or mp3. And I’ve never understood the concept of horsepower. Surely they can’t fit horses inside the engines can they? But I can advise you on the look. Anything German by origin will go down well in Bristol. Minis aren’t bad either. I will say though, that having a car in Bristol is so last year. The done thing to do these days is to exude the air of being environmentally aware, and thus extremely fashion forward. Keep the money that they would have spent on a car and use it for a bicycle, donating the rest to Green Peace or a similar environmental activist group. Your smug “I’ve done my bit for the world” attitude will be infectious and you may well lead Bristol into following the example of the lovely Swiss town of Zermatt – completely car free. Your name will go down in history, perhaps the new Al Gore, you never know. And to think you could have missed out on all this, all for a lousy car.

Now hold on a minute and have a think, does he want you back? Don’t go blowing your own trumpet and assuming that he is just as heartbroken as you. This could have been the perfect escape for him to get out of a monotonous, dead-end relationship and your housemate provided the perfect solution. What a cowardly sod though. He could have had the guts to do it to your face. Oh well, there are plenty more fish in the sea, and if good looks are on your side, chances are they’re all swimming right at you. The coolest most sophisticated thing to do now would be to hold that head high with dignity and move swiftly on to boyfriend No.2. A guy you pulled in a club may not be that up for jumping head first into a serious relationship, especially for the sole purpose of showing him off to your ex. You may want to consider some sort of ‘Butler in the Buff’ type arrangement. Hire the guy, suitably clothe him as these Butlers tend to wander the streets of Bristol in nothing more than a pinny and cavort him around for the world to see. Butler + you = one very jealous exboyfriend. Ta-da! Now get on with your life, and he can get on with his. Got a problem for Miss B? Let her soothe your pain by emailing:

“What would you do next?”

This week: “My friends and I are booking a holiday, but we don’t want one of the girls to come!”

See you next issue for more of the Close...


Stcyale s le

Dear Miss B

Lecturer-lover from Lansdowne Road

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Loca-vore clothing

e Featur

Make a statement: consume only locally created fashion. A sure way to an ethical and unique look.

Taking the rap The politics of fashion and Hip Hop

Hip Hop and fashion seem to have had a harmonious and mutually-beneficial relationship of late. From Kanye West’s popular and surprisingly astute blog about fashion, art and architecture, to the proliferation of Hip Hop born labels such as Phat Farm, Sean John and Billionaire Boys Club, the Hip Hop kings of money, cars and women appear to have added another string to their bow. Which is why the recent scandal involving Brooklyn-based group Thug Slaughter Force seems so out of place. The group were first vilified in New York’s progressive newspaper The Village Voice last summer for their decision to wear T-shirts emblazoned with the message “no tight clothes”, one which reveals their objection to the recent fashion trend for music stars in the Hip Hop community, such

as Kanye West and Pharrell Williams, to wear tight-fitting attire. This protest has been construed by journalists and members of the public as implicitly homophobic, especially when considered together with their inflammatory lyrics: “Take them tight-ass fuckin’ clothes off/ that shit ain’t gangsta, nigga/ We don’t wear tight clothes . . . we let it hang! . . . Shirt extra-small and you six feet tall/ Lookin’ like you got your pants off a Ken doll”. The group instead proposes that Hip Hop fans and stars remain true to the original 1980s and 1990s look that symbolized Hip Hop baggy jeans, baggy t-shirts, and Nikes. The media furore that surrounded the comments, Tshirts, and lyrics of Thug Slaughter Force focused on the

On-Screen costumes Feast your eyes on the ‘Mad Men’ secretaries, or head to the Watershed to see ‘Milk’ and immerse yourself in the sartorial equivalent of time travelling.

What’s not: homophobic side of things, eager to once more accuse Hip Hop of disrespecting the gay community. Whilst this is unarguably part of the story, perhaps the more interesting aspect of it, at least as far as fashion is concerned, is the ability of the group to mobilize a political protest through fashion: in this case, the t-shirts spoke louder than the lyrics of the songs. Fashion has often been a medium for rebellion - think of the 1960s penchant for knee-high boots and mini-skirts - but this incident points to a different use of clothes, in which they are recognized as a powerful tool of expression. Thug Slaughter Force clearly see Hip Hop as being intricately related to the clothes that musicians and their fans choose to wear, so being part of Hip Hop means staying within the sartorial rules of the club. In this sense, tight clothes threaten “authentic” Hip Hop, along with the “Ken dolls” that wear them. What is particularly interesting about this protest, is that it is a war about clothes that is being waged through clothes. The simplistic, capitalist relationship between Hip Hop and fashion isn’t as easy as it might seem. Whilst we might not approve of Thug Slaughter Force’s actions or intentions, they’ve proven that fashion isn’t simply the bling that you rock or the trainers that you pop: it’s political, it’s offensive, it’s oppressive, it’s rebellious and it’s liberating. Like it or not, fashion can fight the power. Sarah Sternberg

Harem pants This is one catwalk trend we can’t see many buying into

Boring awards ceremony dresses Safe, elegant, generic. We’d pick the madness of MIA or Bjork over Kate Winslet’s tasteful gowns anyday

Melinda Messenger’s new perfume Now you too can smell like a nineties glamour model

Issue 9 Monday 23 February 2009

Issue 9 Monday 23 February 2009

FUZE l a i c e p S e r u t c i P 2009

ongganata H y e Jo y b y h p Photogra bin with Jamie Cor

FUZE supports Everyman, Breakthrough Breast Cancer, Little Big Africa, Meningitus UK and Neserester Orphanage, Uganda. Thanks to Blake at FUZE.

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Issue 9 Monday 23 February 2009


WIN TWO TICKETS FOR THE CINEMA DE LUX DIRECTORS HALL Here’s your chance to win two free tickets for the ultimate cinema going experience at the Directors Hall and Lounge offered only at the new Cinema de Lux in Cabot Circus.

This is your £10 voucher for Alco-owl, Bristol’s premier late night alcohol delivery service! Ever been at a house party and ran out of alcohol? Perhaps one more drink to end the night but you realise you haven’t got any? Well keep the party going with Alco-Owl! We are a fully licensed supplier of alcohol, providing a home delivery service for members of the public who require an alcoholic beverage when all the shops are shut. Alco-Owl on 07510255092 with your order


The Directors Hall is an exclusive, intimate auditorium that features extra-wide Ultra Leather loveseats, reserved seating and access to the Directors Lounge - the perfect place for a cocktail or two before the show. At show time, concierges are available to help escort you with your food and drinks to your seats and can deliver more refreshments without a second thought. The lucky winners can also pay a visit to Studio One, the cinema’s full service restaurant and bar, serving signature cocktails. TO WIN simply answer send your name, number adn the answer to the following question to Who won the 2009 Bafta for Best Actress?

...fill in this voucher and wait for delivery in under 45 mins ...hand over the voucher and enjoy your cheap booze! To redeem the voucher simply place an order of £20 or more with Alco-Owl quoting ‘Epigram’ and present this voucher to the driver on delivery of your goods. What’s more, If your order exceeds £25 before the discount, you will still be eligible for free delivery!

visit: or call: 07510255092 open every night 7.30pm-2.30am last orders 2am daytime orders accepted

On Miss Davies

Robert Burns, 1791

Ask why God made the gem so small? And why so huge the granite? Because God meant mankind should set That higher value on it.

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By Jack West-Oram

ĕp’i-grām’ - A short poem, especially a satirical one, with a witty or ingenious ending.

Epigram | The Mix 212  
Epigram | The Mix 212  

Bristol's student newspaper