Marital Affairs People have a misconception that affairs are about lustful sexual encounters. Actually, they are not! Sex is only the adverse effect of inner, repressed feelings. So what makes cheating so emotional? Rage, fear, guilt, betrayal and self pity are just a few of these mixed, strong and intense emotions that both the cheater and victimized spouse experience. Why do they feel so disturbing to those who experience them? How does the feeling differ from the emotion from being cheated in a business deal by your trusted CEO? Or how does it vary from the rage you feel towards a boss who stole your ideas? Certainly, there are many forms of cheating but why does the pain in a marital affair feel so much worse? This is because in marriage there is a unique form of trust involved. It’s not just a common trust that you give away to your friends, but a trust that involves your heart, mind and soul. This trust is something that you place highly enough that you have put yourself in front of your family and friends, having to stand up for this trust. It is the pain of humiliation, betrayal, deception added with the lost of self esteem that makes the situation so much worse. A marital affair exemplifies the violation of a sacred trust between two people who have made a commitment to each other. Trust is an entity that, when lost, is hard to replace. If only we can replace our cheating husbands or wives the following day then marital affairs wouldn’t be so bad. But we all know that things just do not work out that way. How convenient would it be to just swallow a pill one day and everything will be back to normal the next day! Unfortunately, the trauma of a marital affair can be irreversible. It can cost a person’s sanity, peace of mind and even health. Also, a cheating affair not only impairs the relationship between the husband and wife but it also damages the relationship of family members and mutual friends. In cases where the mutual friend happens to know that one person in the marriage is cheating on the other, then it would mean that he or she too was an accomplice to hiding the truth. Just because a person never lied to your face, it doesn’t discount the fact that they’ve omitted to tell you the truth. Lying and the sin of omission are cousins. Therefore, it is not surprising that the victimized spouse will also harbor feelings of being betrayed by the “accomplice”- making the already fragile recovery even more difficult. Visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com To Catch A Cheating Spouse Or Partner
When the shock subsides, the reality sinks in. The focus leads to the sexual acts. This is where the imagination can stifle one’s ability to confront the real situation. Most victims of cheating partners become fixated on the sexual nature of an affair, not on the emotional. The truth is, more emphasis must be focused on the latter. Setting of Expectations: Perhaps the reason for cheating is that the expectations in the relationship were not clearly set from the start. The husband, for instance, never told the wife that she was expected to quit her job when the firstborn arrives. Then she begins to resent him for being insensitive to her own decisions and preferences. But afraid to be perceived as a “bad mother” she keeps it all to herself all those years until she, one day, meets a nonjudgmental, sensitive guy in a PTA meeting. She becomes more alive, hopeful and slowly develops an emotional connection with this person, thus, the beginning of their romantic affair. If only she was honest and open about how she really felt about quitting her job to her husband, then they would have made a few adjustments and met halfway. And if only he was sensitive enough to confide in her with his plans then she wouldn’t have had to feel that way in the first place. This is where effective communication comes in. Communication is the fuel in a well-oiled marriage. Reckless behavior: People suffering from advanced cases of psychological disorders such as alcoholism, drug addictions, mania or bipolar disorders may lead themselves into a frenzy by indulging themselves with too much pleasure. Case in point, a drunken night spent in Vegas can pretty much impair one’s superego to the point of not knowing right from wrong, which is another term for stupidity. Erratic, careless behaviors can lead to serious and damaging situations like an affair. If one is not careful he or she can wake up one morning next to someone who isn’t his or her spouse. This is why it is always best to take extra precaution by inviting your partner along when you decide to drink, get wasted and have fun in clubs. Also keep your partner posted when it comes to the places you go to and the people you are with. Leave your friends’ phone numbers in case he or she can’t get a hold of you. Make sure that your spouse has access to your whereabouts and activities. Unresolved Previous Affair: Believe it or not but the most motivating factor in cheating on a spouse is when one does it for vengeance. An eye for an eye as what they say. Wives who suffered from the blow of a cheating husband may feel insecure and in the quest to relinquish their lost power over the marriage, may find themselves cheating on their husbands as well. This only means that they have not forgiven their spouses. The mental and emotional satisfaction sought from revenge can initially feel empowering, but this is only temporary. Just like any cheater they too will experience the feelings of guilt in the Visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com To Catch A Cheating Spouse Or Partner
long run. It doesn’t matter if your spouse gave you a hard time in the past, the guilt and remorse in a cheater’s heart is as burdensome to the mind as a coronary artery surgical procedure. In the end, it is really not worth it mainly because of the mental anguish that it can cause you. The effects of cheating can be devastating and there are no quick and easy Band Aid strips to cover up the wounds and make the pain go away. Nonetheless, if two people are willing and driven, then patience, time, honesty and professional help can intervene, making it possible for the wounds to heal and the scars to fade.
To find out how to catch a cheating spouse or partner, visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com.
Visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com To Catch A Cheating Spouse Or Partner