Letters to You dates provided when possible ÂŠ enke 2015-2016 and beyond see http://enke.bandcamp.com for audio version
in loving memory of fragile hearts everywhere.
One id roll myself in cigarette ash and pretend to be the poison that fills your lungs (carpet burns and filters and incense) i am the change jangling in the pocket of your jeans the stain on the rug of your F150 i am the drugs stumbling through your bloodstream the girl traipsing through your yard as you fumble with your keys (spilled drinks and bruised knees and crazy hearts) ive always been mad so the C word doesnt phase me i have never been about respectability
4 august 2015
Two i burned myself for beauty singed fragile skin on your scalding prerequisites for self fulfillment i dont want your beauty and i dont need to love (they make me angry in equal measure and--) i begged for your compliments scab-littered knees pleading for attention i nicked myself on your fragile ego and mistook it for the best feeling in the world i drowned on my way into your good graces who knew you could burn so hot when wet keep your lighter fluid lies to yourself so next time i can learn to float before i go under
29 september 2015
Three i wanna taste your teeth upon my tongue glides across your enamel enamored i dont believe in love well i do but it doesnt last very long my hands slide down your back we wont last very long hair through my fingers as i hold on to what we pretend to be i dont know what i want this to be before you go head’s cradled to chest aches because love isnt Real isnt really what i thought it would be it hurts like fingertips dancing along bruises like cold air skating across skin too tight to belong in: you tell me to “Be“ and i tell you i cant live like angry little men tapping fists against my forehead a steady beat beat beat steady as you hold me
we breathe the same way these days ragged and disheveled like unkempt hair because our unkempt hearts dont know any better better off alone than together better off together than alone in empty bedrooms staring at ceilings, vacancy signs attached to our chests because our eyes say what our mouths wont admit that no ones home. i back and love and and
like phantom not ready
take tender to
skin limbs regret
Regret nothing but the times we forgot to live, Because if there is no point then dragging your feet, too, becomes meaningless.
11 august 2015
Four i look at you like you hung the stars just for me because freckling the skies with tiny suns would take more time than one heavy moon but you hung that too and i latch onto your every word because you wrap around me like a security blanket and this house you built around us feels more safe than home
Five: i never loved. “forever isn’t real“ is the hardest thing i had to learn i waited 5 months for “i love you“ , 5 months for no return and night came crashing down on me that day and the moon you hung landed in my bedroom plummeting through the window from which i later tossed my heart and your old tshirt in dismissal in disarray
Six i trusted you with all of me and you returned me like a shirt that was two sizes too small. im not the perfect size to fit in your heart anymore and ive been left swimming in a shirt thats too large
17 january 2016
Six Point Five i never knew hot tears until i met you and they left acid trails upon my cheeks
22 october 2015
Seven: Robert. i want to forget where you touched me and how you did it because your fingerprints will scald my body otherwise
24 january 2016, 16:21
Eight it makes me sick how you let her treat me when i was only acting on your behalf i cant let you do this to me anymore i wont do this to me anymore
25 february 2016, accordingly
Nine they understand what i was but you have taken on the new me the one that hunches further at every word and cries not for healing but out of habit i am no longer moved to hide catastrophe. i shake like a leaf and you see it for what it is what it , i , me has become the future of my being instead of a former self tainted by the present a past that wishes it could breathe (but) there is no life in this only haunting.
27 february 2016
Ten Word Story (I Feel Fine) We broke up yesterday and I still feel the same.
Published on Jul 28, 2016
Published on Jul 28, 2016
author's mixed medium art portfolio at http://gabriellearts.tumblr.com - letters left unsent. Spanish translation [Cartitas a ti] out now !