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# in Group: For Everyone’s Mental Health: Please Don’t Cheat with the Phones or Bad Karma shall shave ye!

Quizzard Episode II Quiz #1 “The Quizzard vs. The World” 7:00 to 7:45 5 Things That Have Nothing To Do With Each Other. Behold! Randomness Part XII: 1. What creature proved to be much faster than a horse in a 1927 race in Sydney, Australia? I’ll give you a hint: definitely not a Unicorn…or as I like to think of them in my manly way, as just a magical horse with a sword on its head to guard all of my hopes and dreams. So think about that the next time you laugh at the drawings on my 8 th grade Pee Chee. The Kangaroo 2. What heavenly bodies have astronomers named after Brahms, Beethoven, Bach, the four Beatles and Eric Clapton-among others? Asteroids 3. What planet is named after the Greek god who personified the sky? If I were ever a Greek god (yeah, go ahead and snicker) I would totally want to personify beer…I mean really, no beer god? Just a shame, they must have been too busy with the nekkid wrastlin’ and all. Uranus 4. What brand of epidermal concoction was developed by Dr. Ben Green in 1944 to protect pilots who bailed out over the Pacific? If this ever happens to you, seek out the help of a manatee I once met in during one of my expeditions to the ocean floor on a mercy mission to rid the ocean floor of its unparalleled bigotry. I exchanged pleasantries with a manatee named Julian and together we held protests to change the notion that Julian and his manatee brethren were nothing but lazy sea cows…we certainly tried to change the world with that one. Ha! Heady days my friends…good times. Coppertone

5. What drupaceous fruit were Hawaiian women once forbidden by law to eat? Speaking of women, I kinda had this great date last night. This girl on the on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder. It was magical! The coconut Rhoads Scholar: 6.. Alaska and California, with 8 each, are the US states with the most of these – what are they? National Parks 7 .All of what in Venice must be painted black, unless they belong to a high official? Gondolas 8. At 840,000 square miles, what is the largest island in the world? Greenland 9. What is still legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors? Hint: It’s not throwing produce. In fact though, throwing produce is very dangerous. True story. I had a cousin once that was killed by a head of lettuce…well not the head of lettuce itself so much as the pack of sewer rabbits he stole it from. Poor Tobias. Dueling


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# in Group: For Everyone’s Mental Health: Please Don’t Cheat with the Phones or Bad Karma shall shave ye!

10. This is the only state in the United States whose name has only one syllable. Name it! Maine Five things that have nothing to do with Bananas: 11. Although there are currently a number of scientific procedures and numerous court findings to determine whether or not he really was simple, where was Simple Simon going when he met a pie man? He was going to the fair. 12. What Creedence Clearwater hit warns: “Don’t go out tonight/It’s bound to take your life”? It has nothing to do with a location of a bathroom. That whole bathroom thingy screwed me up for years, but I’m much better now. Bad Moon Rising (Bathroom on the Right) 13. In the wonderful and articulate manner of all their cartoon creations (I have never seen animation move as little except for maybe Stick Figure Theater) including Space Ghost and that one about the blob things and the dude who looked like Conan but they were in space with a chick on a flying dragon…who created Scooby Doo? Hannah/Barbara 14. What rank did Lewis hold in the US army? I believe I read somewhere that he attained this rank due to an exemplary performance at the Great Prancing Incident of 1794, where his particular brand of prancing left both onlookers and fellow prancers in a state of delirium and overwhelmed excitement, thus leading to the creation of his nickname, Meriwether “Prancy” Lewis. Captain 15. My boss, Angela Lansbury's Cousin the Third, told me that she needed to see me in her office. "You're orifice?" I asked, thereby fulfilling my pun quota of the day. "Very good", she replied, "but seriously, I need to see you in my office." Once called in, I was very disappointed to learn that all she wanted to know was: to whom did AnheuserBusch send the first case of Budweiser beer produced after the repeal of prohibition in 1933? That was a pretty long and crappy way to ask this question, but hey, no one sends me beer when I repeal things, that may or may not need repealing…OK so I ran out of beer when writing this and thus, now must make you suffer! Ha! Ha! Ha! Franklin D. Roosevelt All The Following Questions Were Submitted By The Ginormous Narrows Octopus of Awesomeness: 16. What year was the original Tacoma Narrows Bridge finished? 1940 17. This dog fell into fame when Galloping Gertie collapsed on November 7, 1940. As the only victim of that great disaster, what was his name? Tubby 18. Which Canadian rock band refer to the bridge in their 2004 song, Vaccination Scar with the lyrics, "It went down like a bad card table leg, like the Tacoma Narrows Bridge"? The Tragically Hip 19. The two spans which comprise the New Tacoma Narrows Bridge are within the nation’s top 5 longest suspension spans…at what place exactly does it land? 5th 20. What year did the new eastbound span open to commuters? 2007 No trivia was harmed in the making of the Quizzard Brand Quiz.


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