BEIJING - China is a dynamic country with an ancient culture steeped in its own wisdom. There is more that we can glean from China other than just leadbased toys and Internet censorship. Their enlightened attitude toward women, for example. Beijing Police Department recently posted a series of messages on China’s Twitter-like service entitled “Women Drivers Please Take Care to Avoid These Mistakes.” These helpful, common-sense hints included warnings about a woman’s lack of a sense of direction, wearing high heels while driving, an inability to control a car’s gas and brake pedals, driving with the hand brake on, forgetting to switch gears while driving and getting flustered after an accident. One post read, “Some women drivers lack a sense of direction and while driving a car they often hesitate and can’t decide which road to take. Once they realize their mistake, they cause accidents by spinning the steering wheel in a panic.” Sounds like a very plausible scenario. And forewarned is forearmed, after all. Another post read, “Women drivers tend to panic following an accident. They usually draw a complete mental blank, providing opportunities for criminals.” Surprisingly some Chinese citi-
zens had a problem with these posts. “This is discrimination! Many male drivers are idiots, too,” wrote one angry reader. MOGADISHU, Somalia - An international organization of maritime security companies says the music of Britney Spears has proven effective in warding off Somali pirates. A representative from the Security Association for the Maritime Industry said ships traveling in the Indian Ocean have found the pirates are repelled by Spears’ hit songs “Oops! I Did It Again” and “Baby One More Time” as a result of their distaste for western culture, the Nairobi (Kenya) Standard Digital News, reported Tuesday. The representative said ships blaring the music to ward off an impending attack found their security workers rarely had to use their guns. He said the pirates “go to any length to overcome the music.” “I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be a great crime against humanity,” the representative quipped. WASHINGTON - A mother in the U.S. capital posted a message outside her home addressed to the thief who stole her 2-yearold son’s pumpkin. Becky Reina said her family carved four Halloween pumpkins, including
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one for 2-year-old Tommy, and the toddler’s pumpkin turned up missing from outside their home last week, WTOP-TV, Washington, reported Tuesday. “To the person who stole my son’s pumpkin: Thank you for the life lesson. This will help teach him that sometimes people are mean for no reason, and you have to just brush it off. Because my son is 2 years old and cannot read the sign, I will add, you are an [expletive],” Reina wrote on a poster board she put outside the home. Reina said pumpkins in the area are often stolen and smashed, but Tommy’s pumpkin was the only one of the four outside her home to be targeted. She said the pumpkin was likely among those found destroyed by neighbors. VENEZUELA - Who remembers the book “1984” by George Orwell? In this sunny, optimistic take on the future the political entity known as Oceania is ruled by four ministries; the Ministry of Peace, which deals with war, the Ministry of Plenty, which deals with the economy, the Ministry of Love, which deals with law and order, and the Ministry of Truth, which deals with propaganda. With alarmists constantly squawking about how
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the U.S. and some other industrialized nations are turning into police states, it is easy to miss some rather obvious and even frightening hints as to where things are really heading in the modern world. For example, Venezuela now has a formal government agency in charge of enforcing happiness. President Nicolas Maduro says the new Vice Ministry of Supreme Social Happiness will coordinate all the “mission” programs created by the late President Hugo Chavez to alleviate poverty. Oil-rich Venezuela is chronically short of basic goods and medical supplies. Annual inflation is running officially at near 50 percent and the U.S. dollar now fetches more than seven times the official rate on the black market. A TV journalist whose show was recently forced off the air after he refused to censor political opponents of the ruling socialists, Leopoldo Castillo, called Maduro’s announcement an international embarrassment. Housewife Liliana Alfonzo, 31, said that instead of a Supreme Happiness agency she’d prefer being able to get milk and toilet paper, which disappear off store shelves minutes after arriving at stores.