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IT’S MARTINI TIME Neo soul/indie pop sensations, Fitz and the Tantrums are on tour. Fresh off of supporting Bruno Mars’ last tour they will be performing Thursday at Marathon Music Works Thursday in Nashville.

STRING THEORY

Easily one of the greatest to ever pick up a guitar, Steve Vai is on tour and coming to a city near you. Vai performs Tuesday evening at Track 29 in Chattanooga,

STARSTRUKK 3OH!3's playful sense of humor has always been matched by their tireless work ethic, both of which are at the forefront of the band's latest album OMENS. Like their self-released debut, their latest album was produced by the band and sees this duo further expanding on the musical motifs that have endeared them to fans worldwide, while simultaneously stretching forward to redefine what 3OH!3 represents today. Oh and don't worry, it will still make you dance. The electropop duo will be at the Buckhead Theatre in Atlanta Sunday. On the bill with them is The Summer Set, Wallpaper and New Beat Fund.

TAKE CARE It’s been a differnt world since the days of Degrassi: The Next Generation for Drake. The Canadian born rapper who has sold millions of records is on tour these days. Thursday night he will be a Philips Arena. ENIGMA

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Better Luck Next Year The Atlanta Falcons downward spiral continued Sunday as they fell hard to their rival Carolina Panthers 34-10. The Falcons were in this game for a little over three quarters before penalties and turnovers took their toll as the Falcons remain four games behind division leading New Orleans and now three games behind Carolina in the division.

game on a long streak of no turnovers and eight touchdowns in their three previous wins. Atlanta picked off Newton twice in the first half as he wasn’t able to get things really going until the second half and a lot of that thanks to Ryan’s miscues and a muffed fumble recovery by the Atlanta secondary deep in Falcons’ territory.

“Obviously we didn’t come anywhere place to playing the type of football that we needed to play to win the football, especially in the last quarter and a half of the game. (We had) way too many penalties, especially on third downs to keep some drives going. It’s about winning those situations and we did not win them,” said Falcons’ head coach Mike Smith.

A holding call in the second quarter forced the Falcons to kick a field goal negating a touchdown run by Steven Jackson. Things didn’t start well for either team to begin. Both the Falcons and Panthers exchanged three-and outs before Ryan threw his first interception deep in Atlanta territory. Newton and the Panthers were able to capitalize with Mike Tolbert running the ball in for three yards out to take the early 7-0 lead.

For the second week in a row the Atlanta offense was out of sync. Matt Ryan had his second consecutive bad week under center as he threw three more intercep-

tions including a pick-6 late in the game that sealed the outcome. Ryan was 20-of-27 for 219 yards one touchdown and three interceptions. In the last two week’s the Falcon leader has thrown seven interceptions. In the first six games of the season he had only thrown a total of three. The 219 passing yards is

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almost 100 below his average per game. Despite his woes, Ryan’s quarterback rating was still better than the golden child, Cam Newton’s rating in the victory over our beloved Falcons.

Newton of course is the best quarterback that Auburn ever Atlanta had a chance to change bought and came into the Atlanta momentum when Newton was

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intercepted by Desmond Trufant at the Falcons’ five-yard line as he overthrew his receiver. Ryan was once again unable to sustain a drive and Atlanta was forced to punt. Ted Guinn Jr. made a nice return of Matt Bosher’s punt and gave Carolina another short field, this time at the Falcons’ 34. Atlanta’s defense did their best, but Newton was able to convert of fourth down and hit Greg Olsen who was wide open for a 14-yard touchdown catch and run. Atlanta answered, however as the Falcons mounted their only drive of the day. Ryan began things hitting Harry Douglas for 41 yards. Jackson then went off tackle for seven more yards. Three plays later Ryan found tight end Tony Gonzalez in the back of the end zone for the score to make the score 14-10. Carolina tried to answer and got down to the Falcons’ 19 with under 30 seconds to play in the half. Newton then threw away an ill-advised pass that was intercepted in the back of the end zone by Robert Alford. The second half was all Carolina. The Panthers took the second half kickoff down and added to their lead with a Graham Gano 55-yard field goal. The teams exchanged punts again before Ryan threw interception number two at midfield. Atlanta’s defense held but once again Ryan was unable to get the offense going. The Panthers went 66 yards on six plays highlighted by a 30-yard pass from Newton to Brandon LaFell. Asante Samuel stripped the ball out of his hands and the ball looked like a sure recovery for the Falcons but somehow the ball rolled back to LaFell who recovered the ball on the Falcons’ 8. Newton ran the ball in on the

next play to increase their lead erage. Rookie linebacker Paul to 24-10 with nine minutes to Worrilow led the team with 19 play. tackles Sunday. The defense is starting to get healthy and should “I think that play might sum up see the return of defensive what our season’s been like. We leader linebacker Sean had a guy breaking on a ball for Weatherspoon in the next week an interception, doesn’t make or two to will bolster the the interception, then turns defense. around, strips the ball and our guy is going for it and their guy is Troubling issues for the Falcons laying on the ground and the ball is the fact this so-called highends up in their hands. You powered offense has managed would look at that and say ‘how just 23 points total the last two in the world did that happen?’ weeks. In spite of injuries to Very reminiscent of the season Roddy White and Julio Jones, the that we’ve had, that one play,” Falcons have a bevy of receivers said Smith. for Ryan to throw to. Instead he’s thrown only two touchTwo plays later the score was 31- downs compared to seven inter10 as Ryan was picked off ceptions the last two weeks. Add Drayton Florence who returned to that the turnover discrepancy Ryan’s pass 38 yards untouched the last two weeks. In spite of for the score. The Panthers intercepting Newton twice added a field goal as time was Sunday they still managed to lose running out to make the final the ball four times. Add to that score 34-10. the lack of discipline this season. Since Mike Smith’s arrival on the The game was indeed an enigma sideline the Falcons have been for Atlanta. Everyone expected once of the least penalized teams to play well on offense didn’t in the league. Not this season. –except Gonzalez and Douglas. Untimely penalties this season Ryan was well off his game again. have not only taken points off Jackson actually showed signs of the board for the Falcons, but improvement as he broke a cou- have kept opposing team’s drives ple of big runs for the Falcons. alive. Sunday alone the Falcons He had runs of 13, 8 and 7 as he were penalized 59 yards comtotaled 57 yards on 13 carries to pared to 15 for Carolina. lead all rushers. Atlanta actually out-rushed Carolina the first “We did some good things, obvithree quarters before things fell ously not enough to win. We did apart for the Falcons. The often and justifiably maligned defense despite the final score played their best game of the season forcing two turnovers keeping Newton under pressure all day. If Newton wasn’t so mobile he would have been sacked a half a dozen times instead of just once. Despite giving up 373 yards the defense played much better and they were forced to defend a short field a few times because of turnovers and special teams covENIGMA

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some good things; we’ve just got to put it all together. That’s been our biggest problem. We haven’t really played a complete game yet. We’ve just got to continue to improve,” said Trufant. “Times like this, I’ve been through this before, you have to just go to work. That’s all there is to it. You have to put one foot in front of the other and keep doing what you’ve been doing that got you here and got you successful. I know Matt’s a diligent person. He’s going to look at this team; he’s going to obsess over it and make improvements. He’s the leader of our team. We still trust him to the fullest. He’s going to take us where we want to go, hopefully. I have no doubt that he’ll bounce back from this and come out and play a lot better,” said Gonzalez. The Falcons will return to the friendly confines of the Georgia Dome this Sunday as they face the Seattle Seahawks. The Seahawks despite their record barely squeaked by two bottom dweller teams the last two weeks including an overtime win against the winless Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Kickoff is scheduled for 1pm and the game will be aired on Fox.

- Dave Weinthal


MONEY MANAGEMENT

BILLIONAIRE INVESTORS WARREN BUFFETT, JOHN PAULSON, AND GEORGE SOROS QUIETLY DUMP U.S. STOCKS - WHY? Despite recent reports that the housing crisis is leveling off, unemployment is stabilizing, and the market has rallied a historic 6.5% in the past few months, a few savvy billionaires are quietly moving their money out of U.S. stocks... and fast! Billionaire investors know what they're doing and can often predict outcomes well before anyone else. And when they do the opposite of everyone else, it's wise to take notice. So why are these investors so quick to move their money out of U.S. companies? Could these professional investors be aware of very specific research indicating a massive market correction... as much as 90%? Warren Buffett, an outspoken advocate of American stocks, is dropping his shares at an alarming rate. The reason stated was "disappointing performance" in U.S. companies like Procter & Gamble, Johnson & Johnson, and Kraft Foods. Buffett's company, Berkshire Hathaway has been drastically reducing exposure of certain stocks dependent on consumer purchasing habits. Berkshire sold approximately 19 million shares of Johnson & Johnson, thus reducing the overall stake in "consumer product stocks" by 21%. In addition, Berkshire Hathaway sold its entire stake in Intel, the California-based computer parts supplier company.

on consumer spending. However, In 2006, Wiedemer predicted the colBuffett's obvious view of these com- lapse of U.S. housing markets, equity panies is troubling to say the least. markets, and consumer spending that nearly bankrupted the United States. As it turns out, Warren isn't alone. Dent successfully predicted the Billionaire investor, John Paulson, recession of 1990 to 1992, the who made his fortune during the BIGGEST bull market boom in U.S. mortgage meltdown, also reduced his history, even the credit crisis, and U.S. stock market exposure by selling stock market crash of 2008. 14 million shares of JPMorgan Chase. His hedge fund company also got rid It starts when the Federal Reserve of its entire holdings in Family Dollar floods the economy with a massive and Sara Lee. amount of debt based money it prints out of thin air. Although these funds Even George Soros sold almost all of haven't yet made their way into the his bank stocks, including Citigroup, U.S. economy, it is mathematically JPMorgan Chase, and Goldman Sachs. certain that when they do, hyperOf these three banks, Soros sold over inflation will occur. a million shares. At just 10% inflation, a 10-year treasSo why are these billionaires so quick ury bond will lose approximately 50% to drop their shares of U.S. compa- of its value. And at 20% inflation, the nies? value shrinks to almost nothing. At this point, interest rates rise, and this The market is at a historical high. causes real estate values to plummet. Real estate prices have leveled, and As a result, according to Harry Dent, are even rising in many places. these problems will contribute to the What's more, the unemployment rate stock market to dropping all the way even seems to have stabilized. to 3300. Could These Investors Be Aware Of A Massive Stock Market Correction, As High As 90%? New York Times bestselling author, Robert Wiedemer, and world renowned economist, Harry Dent have been publishing this research for years. And if you think a 90% drop in the stock market is unrealistic, consider their successful prediction track records:

70% of the U.S. economy is dependent

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dividends. If this is the reason why Buffett, Paulson, and Soros are reducing their exposure, they are cashing out early while leaving Main Street investors to take the loss. However, individual investors don't have to lose their investments and retirement savings. Buffett's company, Berkshire Hathaway, utilizes a comprehensive wealth preservation blueprint for economic survival that deserves global attention. Previously available only to institutional investors, banks, and insurance companies, this little known investment alternative preserves principle and guarantees returns without any ties to the stock market.

While major brokers and financial institutions don't generally offer the public information on these types of wealth enhancement alternatives, they are available to individual investors and a few are starting to take notice. The primary concern is that most Americans will be left in Wiedemer explains why Soros, the dark when the stock market Buffett, and Paulson are quick to crashes and lose everything they've dump U.S. stocks: worked for over their lives, if Wiedemers' and Dent's predictions "Companies start spending more on come true. borrowing than business expansion. This lowers profits, lowers dividends, Naturally, this is a scary thought. But and reduces hiring. Additionally, it the average American needs to be means more corporate layoffs." prepared in this sudden age of job loss and economic uncertainty. No investors, especially billionaire investors, want to own falling stocks - Mike L Durand with shrinking profit margins and

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ARIES (Mar. 21- April 20) You may have a problem with someone you live with if you don’t include them in your gathering. You’re in the mood to spend money. You will have a problem dealing with groups. Take precautions while traveling; you don’t have to get anywhere that fast. Your lucky day this week will be Wednesday. TAURUS (Apr. 21- May 21) Take part in stimulating debates that will allow you to show off your intelligence. A change in position could be better than you thought. Be careful when dealing with superiors. Don’t let others put unreasonable demands on you. Your lucky day this week will be Monday. GEMINI (May 22-June 21) Insincere gestures of friendliness are likely to occur. Relatives may not be telling you the whole truth about a family situation. Your creative ideas must be put to good use. You may find yourself changing crowds. Your lucky day this week will be Monday. CANCER (June 22-July 22) Concentrate on work or make changes to yourself. You will need to spend extra time sorting through your work. You won’t be admired at home if you haven’t been taking care of your share of the work. Insincere gestures of friendliness are likely to occur.

Your lucky day this week will be allow them to make unreasonable demands. Don’t be too eager to Thursday. spend what’s left over; more unexpected expenses are evident. Work LEO quietly behind the scenes. (July 23-Aug 22) You may find that your quick wit and charm will help you in obtain- Your lucky day this week will be ing allies. Travel opportunities Monday. should be your first choice. Avoid functions that will bring you in SAGITTARIUS contact with those you find diffi- (Nov. 23 -Dec. 21) cult to get along with. Avoid lend- You can make financial gains ing money or belongings to friends. through your unique and creative approach to business. Rest and Your lucky day this week will be relaxation may be required; minor health problems will prevail if you Saturday. don’t watch your diet. Take care of yourself or you can expect to suffer VIRGO from minor illness. Visit friends or (Aug. 23 -Sept. 23) Old friends may not like your relatives you don’t get to see very choices. You need an outlet that often. will not only stimulate you but also challenge your intelligence as well. Your lucky day this week will be Deception is apparent. You should Friday. follow through on educational endeavors you have wanted to pur- CAPRICORN (Dec 22.- Jan. 20) sue for some time. It’s hard to stay mad if the object of Your lucky day this week will be the anger refuses to react. Authority figures may be less than Tuesday. accommodating if you have done something deceitful. Be careful not LIBRA to exaggerate when interacting (Sept. 24 -Oct. 23) Someone left a real mess for you to sift through. You can get into self awareness groups or look into physical enhancement programs. Your professional attitude will not go unnoticed. Don’t allow colleagues to stand in your way. Your lucky day this week will be Monday. SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) Educational pursuits should help you develop your hobbies. Try to deal with the problems of those less fortunate; however, don’t ENIGMA

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with your lover. Unexpected changes in friendships could occur. Your lucky day this week will be Wednesday. AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 -Feb. 19) You may have difficulties with foreigners. Don’t argue with family. Older relatives may make unreasonable demands. You will be too quick to point your finger at your mate. Your lucky day this week will be Saturday. PISCES (Feb. 20-Mar. 20) Don’t be taken advantage of by any fast talking salesperson trying to part you from your cash. Be precise in your communications to avoid any misunderstandings and arguments. Travel will lead you in new directions. Do you really want to start something with someone you can’t reason with? Your lucky day this week will be Wednesday.


FOOTBALL GUMBEAUX With the November chill arriving, I figured it was time to whip up another batch of gumbo. I even decided to Cajun up this motley mix of sporting observations up with some creative spelling… …I have to confess that I had no idea who Richie Icognito was before recent events put the now-notorious Miami offensive lineman at the top of the NFL news. Incognito, a veteran right guard, has been indefinitely suspended by the Dolphins after his hazing, threats and racist comments toward second-year tackle Jonathan Martin. The “hazing” apparently began during Martin’s rookie season and didn’t let up. I had always heard the stories of rookie hazing in professional sports, but didn’t realize the extent of it. Martin is facing a good bit of anonymous backlash for not “manning up” and confronting Incognito. Instead, he walked away from the Dolphins early last week, sought counseling for his psychological trauma, and missed the team’s Thursday night 22-20 home victory over Cincinnati. Who knows when Martin will return to the team… or how he will be welcomed by his teammates. Incognito has a long record of dirty play and “attitude issues.” He’s probably done in the NFL… unless Art Davis rises from the grave and signs him for the Oakland Raiders…

sure you know, the game that Americans call “soccer” is known as “football” by the rest of the world. Because, well, you mostly use your feet to play it.) I’ve noticed how easily I zone out in the middle of a college or NFL football game now… because I’ve been watching so much soccer. I know there are those who get bored to tears watching soccer, mostly due to the lack of scoring. But play is mostly continuous in soccer. How much actual action do you think there is in a football game? According to several studies… about 11 minutes. Soccer has two 45-minute halves, with limited substitutions and additional “stoppage time” to make up for any delays. American football is dramatic because of the speed and collisions, but there is an awful lot of nothing going on in the interim…

…UT-Chattanooga’s dramatic victory at Appalachian State last Saturday was huge. The Mocs won in Boone, North Carolina, for the first time in over 30 years to go to 7-2 for the first time since 1980. Chattanooga is also back in the FCS top 25 for the first time since the opening week of the season – ranked 23rd in the FCS Coaches Poll and 25th in The Sports Network Top 25. The Mocs host 15th-ranked Wofford this Saturday at Finley Stadium in a game to be televised by ESPN3. Coach Russ Huesman was brought in to bring …I’ve been watching a lot of Chattanooga football back to soccer lately… and a good bit respectability. There’s not of “American football.” (As I’m much doubt that he’s done ENIGMA

that… …Butch Jones was hired at Tennessee with a similar mission. But he’s in year one of a rebuilding process that finds him trying to get by with recruits signed by Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley. The Volunteers were simply outmanned by Alabama and Missouri in their last two games, losing by a combined margin of 63 points. This Saturday in Knoxville, UT hosts an Auburn team that is ranked 9th in the BCS poll and averaging over 300 yards rushing per game. On paper, the Tigers are too fast and too physical for the Vols. But Tennessee picked up a win over ranked South Carolina (and almost knocked off thenhighly-ranked) Georgia at Neyland Stadium back in October. I don’t know if “home field advantage” is enough to

help the Vols pick up another upset victory, but I don’t think they’ll be as thoroughly outclassed at Neyland. I don’t expect Jones to get out the “Smokey Grey” uniforms again, but… one never knows. Regardless of what happens this Saturday, Tennessee can probably get a post-season bowl bid with wins over Vanderbilt and Kentucky to close out the season… …On Saturday night, I’ll be an LSU fan. The 7-2 Tigers travel to Tuscaloosa to face top-ranked and undefeated Alabama. The back-to-back national champs will be favored, of course, but I’m ready to see someone take Nick Saban down a few pegs. Geaux Tigers! It might be a good time to whip up some lucky gumbeaux…

- Mark Bedford P.O. Box 825 Chattanooga, TN 37401 (423) 267-6072 (423) 991-1657 info@enigmaonline.com twitter.com/EnigmaMag

D.A. WEINTHAL - PUBLISHER CHARLES CARMICHAEL - MANAGING EDITOR MARK BEDFORD - EDITOR-IN-CHIEF DAVID HUFF - MUSIC EDITOR CHRIS EASON - PHOTOGRAPHER JOHN CASEY - ART DIRECTOR CRAIG FENTRESS - EDITOR-AT-LARGE

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what I eat. Everyone in my family is big and weigh over 200 pounds. I am already at 175, and I am trying not to reach the family benchmark. What should I do? Is there a diet plan for me? I want to be able to take off my shirt and show off a six pack not my rolls of fat. LC

Dear Rocco, I am a single 39-year-old man. I have never married nor have I any children. I am dating a never married woman with two school-aged children. She has a crazy ex-boyfriend whom she has a protective restraining order against. I am interested in the problems related with such a relationship. Should I marry a woman with children? I have no idea what I am in for. What’s your opinion?

TH

DDeeaarr TTHH IIff yyoouu lloovvee tthhee w woom maann iitt sshhoouullddnn’’tt bbee tthhaatt bbiigg ooff aa ddeeaall.. TThhee cchhiillddrreenn aarree ppaarrtt ooff yyoouurr ggiirrllffrriieenndd’’ss lliiffee.. IIff yyoouu w waanntt hheerr ttoo bbee ppaarrtt ooff yyoouurrss tthhee kkiiddss aallssoo hhaavvee ttoo bbee iinn tthhee ppaacckkaaggee.. IIff tthhee ccrraazzyy eexx iiss tthheeiirr ddaadd tthheenn iitt ssoouunnddss lliikkee tthheeyy nneeeedd aa ssttaabbllee maallee rroollee m m mooddeell iinn tthheeiirr lliivveess.. IIff II w waass iinn yyoouurr sshhooeess aanndd II ttrruullyy lloovveedd tthhee w woom maann,, II w woouulldd ttaakkee tthhee cchhaannccee.. Dear Rocco, I don’t care for some of my boyfriend’s friends. Should I tell him? Sometimes he asks me to spend the evening with certain obnoxious friends and their wives. Should I just pretend I enjoy the evening or should I speak up? RM

DDeeaarr JJGG RReellaaxx.. YYoouu’’rree nnoott aa lleessbbiiaann ssoo tthhaatt rruum moorr sshhoouullddnn’’tt bbootthheerr yyoouu tthhaatt m muucchh.. W Whheenn yyoouurr ddiivvoorrccee iiss ffiinnaall yyoouu aanndd yyoouurr bbooyyffrriieenndd ccaann bbee m moorree ooppeenn aass Deeaarr LLCC D aa ccoouuppllee.. DDoonn’’tt rruusshh ttoo ppaassss SSttaarrtt w woorrkkiinngg oouutt aanndd eeaatt w whhaatt-- jjuuddggm meenntt oonn yyoouurr ffrriieenndd jjuusstt eevveerr yyoouu w waanntt,, w wiitthhiinn rreeaassoonn.. yyeett.. SShhee m maayy bbee pprrootteeccttiinngg yyoouu ffrroom m ccoonnffrroonnttiinngg ssoom meeoonnee aanndd eessccaallaattiinngg aann iinncciiddeenntt tthhaatt Dear Rocco, I have been separated from my ccoouulldd bbee aavvooiiddeedd.. SSttiicckkss aanndd husband for a year. My divorce ssttoonneess,, LLoovvee.. will be finalized next month. I have been dating a wonderful Rocco is a common sense, tellman for a few months. I’ve it-like-it-is, no-nonsense kind known him for many years. We of guy offering real advice on have kept our relationship a any subject put before him. secret because my divorce is Why pay thousands of dollars not final. Recently a friend told on a high-priced therapist me there was a rumor out that when he’ll straighten you out I was a lesbian! I was appalled, for free. If you’d like advice hurt, and angry to hear this. from Rocco e-mail him at She refuses to tell me who said goaskrocco@yahoo.com or it. I do not think she is a good drop him a line at Ask Rocco friend because she won’t tell c/o Enigma P.O. Box 825 me who said it. I want these Chattanooga, TN 37401. rumors to stop because they

DDeeaarr RRM M RReellaattiioonnsshhiippss aarree ggiivvee aanndd ttaakkee.. YYoouu sshhoouulldd hhaavvee aa ttaallkk wiitthh hhiim w m aabboouutt tthhoossee ““cceerrttaaiinn ffrriieennddss”” bbeeccaauussee ooddddss aarree hhee ddooeessnn’’tt lliikkee ssoom mee ooff yyoouurr ffrriieennddss.. Dear Rocco, I am constantly hungry and eat all the time. I try to cut back on ENIGMA

are hurtful and untrue. How can I tactfully handle this vicious lie? JG

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HIGHLAND PARK, Ill. - A student at a suburban Chicago high school who wore a Jesus costume Thursday for Halloween was told to remove it by school officials. The student at Highland Park High School was allowed to resume wearing his toga, cross and crown of thorns after officials decided he did not select the costume to offend, the Chicago Tribune reported. The school in Highland Park on the

North Shore has guidelines for Halloween costumes that try to bar anything offensive or provocative. Students are warned to avoid props that suggest drinking or smoking and anything that would stereotype culture, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation or religion. A photo that appears to show the teen in costume was posted Wednesday on Facebook, the Tribune said. “OH MY GOD(literally), please don’t be afraid if u see BLACK JESUS munchin on some pasta

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tomorrow! HAPPY HALLOWEEN,” the accompanying message said. HARTFORD, Conn. - Connecticut Lottery officials said more than 1,520 people won prize money by playing the number 666 in the Play3 Night drawing. Officials said the prizes are based on the amount wagered by the players, so the payouts from Monday night’s drawing will vary from $25 up to $2,500, WFSB-TV, Hartford, Conn., reported Thursday. “Since the Play3 Night

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game began, 6-6-6 has been drawn a total of nine times in the nightly drawing with the last combination being picked on March 22, 1995,” said Anne Noble, president and chief executive officer of the CT Lottery. “It’s always fun and exciting when a triple single digit is drawn because so many people are particularly fond of playing these numbers.”


BEIJING - China is a dynamic country with an ancient culture steeped in its own wisdom. There is more that we can glean from China other than just leadbased toys and Internet censorship. Their enlightened attitude toward women, for example. Beijing Police Department recently posted a series of messages on China’s Twitter-like service entitled “Women Drivers Please Take Care to Avoid These Mistakes.” These helpful, common-sense hints included warnings about a woman’s lack of a sense of direction, wearing high heels while driving, an inability to control a car’s gas and brake pedals, driving with the hand brake on, forgetting to switch gears while driving and getting flustered after an accident. One post read, “Some women drivers lack a sense of direction and while driving a car they often hesitate and can’t decide which road to take. Once they realize their mistake, they cause accidents by spinning the steering wheel in a panic.” Sounds like a very plausible scenario. And forewarned is forearmed, after all. Another post read, “Women drivers tend to panic following an accident. They usually draw a complete mental blank, providing opportunities for criminals.” Surprisingly some Chinese citi-

zens had a problem with these posts. “This is discrimination! Many male drivers are idiots, too,” wrote one angry reader. MOGADISHU, Somalia - An international organization of maritime security companies says the music of Britney Spears has proven effective in warding off Somali pirates. A representative from the Security Association for the Maritime Industry said ships traveling in the Indian Ocean have found the pirates are repelled by Spears’ hit songs “Oops! I Did It Again” and “Baby One More Time” as a result of their distaste for western culture, the Nairobi (Kenya) Standard Digital News, reported Tuesday. The representative said ships blaring the music to ward off an impending attack found their security workers rarely had to use their guns. He said the pirates “go to any length to overcome the music.” “I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be a great crime against humanity,” the representative quipped. WASHINGTON - A mother in the U.S. capital posted a message outside her home addressed to the thief who stole her 2-yearold son’s pumpkin. Becky Reina said her family carved four Halloween pumpkins, including

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one for 2-year-old Tommy, and the toddler’s pumpkin turned up missing from outside their home last week, WTOP-TV, Washington, reported Tuesday. “To the person who stole my son’s pumpkin: Thank you for the life lesson. This will help teach him that sometimes people are mean for no reason, and you have to just brush it off. Because my son is 2 years old and cannot read the sign, I will add, you are an [expletive],” Reina wrote on a poster board she put outside the home. Reina said pumpkins in the area are often stolen and smashed, but Tommy’s pumpkin was the only one of the four outside her home to be targeted. She said the pumpkin was likely among those found destroyed by neighbors. VENEZUELA - Who remembers the book “1984” by George Orwell? In this sunny, optimistic take on the future the political entity known as Oceania is ruled by four ministries; the Ministry of Peace, which deals with war, the Ministry of Plenty, which deals with the economy, the Ministry of Love, which deals with law and order, and the Ministry of Truth, which deals with propaganda. With alarmists constantly squawking about how

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the U.S. and some other industrialized nations are turning into police states, it is easy to miss some rather obvious and even frightening hints as to where things are really heading in the modern world. For example, Venezuela now has a formal government agency in charge of enforcing happiness. President Nicolas Maduro says the new Vice Ministry of Supreme Social Happiness will coordinate all the “mission” programs created by the late President Hugo Chavez to alleviate poverty. Oil-rich Venezuela is chronically short of basic goods and medical supplies. Annual inflation is running officially at near 50 percent and the U.S. dollar now fetches more than seven times the official rate on the black market. A TV journalist whose show was recently forced off the air after he refused to censor political opponents of the ruling socialists, Leopoldo Castillo, called Maduro’s announcement an international embarrassment. Housewife Liliana Alfonzo, 31, said that instead of a Supreme Happiness agency she’d prefer being able to get milk and toilet paper, which disappear off store shelves minutes after arriving at stores.


VVAAUUDDEEVVIILLLLEE CCAAFFEE Live Band Karaoke DDOOUUBBLLEE HHIILLLL BBIILLLLIIAARRDDSS Open Mic BBEEEEFF OO’’BBRRAADDYY’’SS Karaoke w/ RCB Entertainment AARRII’’SS HHAARRBBOORR LLIIGGHHTTSS Keyz Brown JJAAM MEESS K K.. PPO OLLK K TTH HEEA ATTRREE (Nashville) Englebert Humperdinck EEDDDDIIEE’’SS AATTTTIICC (Atlanta) Lisa Marie Presley BBUUCCKKHHEEAADD TTHHEEAATTRREE (Atlanta) 3OH!3, The Summer Set, Wallpaper, New Beat Fund RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Iron & Wine, Jessica Harp CCAANNNNEERRYY BBAALLLLRROOOOM M (Nashville) Drive By Truckers, T. Hardy BBIIJJOOUU TTHHEEAATTRREE (Knoxville) Steve Vai This week’s calendar covers events from Thursday, November 7, through Wednesday, November 13. We would be happy to publish your free listing in future Billboards, space permitting. Simply mail us the information so that we have it 7 days before the publication date. A photograph may be sent with the announcement. Send information to: Calendar Editor, Enigma, P.O. Box 825, Chattanooga, TN 37401 or e-mail to calendar@enigmaonline.com. All dates subject to change without notice.

TTH HUURRSSDDAAYY NNoovveem mbbeerr 77 CCOOM MEEDDYY CCAATTCCHH Janet Williams BBUUDD’’SS DJ Hammer TTRREEM MO ON NTT TTA AVVEERRN N Songwriters Showcase SSIINNGG IITT OORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke VVAAUUDDEEVVIILLLLEE CCAAFFEE “Mystery at the TV Talk Show” BBAARRTT’’SS LLAAKKEESSHHOORREE Open Mic CCAAM MPP H HO OU USSEE Open Mic SSKKYYZZOOOO Karaoke AARRII’’SS HHAARRBBOORR LLIIGGHHTTSS Keyz Brown LLOOSS RREEYYEESS ((Ringgold) Thirsty Thursdays w/ DJ Scubasteve SSUUGGAARR’’SS The Loop RRHHYYTTHHM M& & BBRREEW WSS The Ryan Oyer Band, The Revelators, Rick Rushing & the Blues Strangers JJ..JJ..’’SS BBOOHHEEM MIIA A Toy Soldiers, The David Mayfield Parade PPHHIILLIIPPSS AARREENNAA (Atlanta) Drake, Miguel CCEENNTTEERR SSTTAAGGEE (Atlanta) Cat Power VVAARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYHHOOUUSSEE (Atlanta) Black Uhuru, Mike Pinto Band MA M ARRA ATTH HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Fitz & the Tantrums

FFRRIID DAAYY NNoovveem mbbeerr 88 CCOOM MEEDDYY CCAATTCCHH Janet Williams RRHHYYTTHHM M& & BBRREEW WSS Minnesota SSIINNGG IITT OORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke BBAARRTT’’SS LLAAKKEESSHHOORREE DJ E VVAAUUDDEEVVIILLLLEE CCAAFFEE “Mystery at the ENIGMA

Redneck-Italian Wedding” TTHHEE PPAALLM MSS DJ TTHHEE TTAAVVEERRNN (Soddy-Daisy) Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment BBEEEEFF OO’’BBRRAADDYY’’SS (Ooltewah) Karaoke w/ RCB Entertainment SSUUGGAARR’’SS The Micks TT--BBOONNEE’’SS Rikcy DeVotie TTRREEM MO ON NTT TTA AVVEERRN N Old Time Travelers VVAARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYHHOOUUSSEE (Atlanta) Colin Meloy TTHHEE TTAABBEERRNNAACCLLEE (Atlanta) Michael Franti, Serena Ryder BBIIJJOOUU TTHHEEAATTRREE (Knoxville) The Delta Saints BBRRIIDDGGEESSTTOONNEE AARREENNAA (Nashville) Jennifer Nettles, Trace Adkins, Luke Bryan, Sheryl Crow, Jake Owen, Kellie Pickler, Rascal Flatts, Darius Rucker, Michael W. Smith H& 1122TTH & PPOORRTTEERR (Nashville) Jimmy Hall, Blackfoot Gypsies

SSA ATTUURRDDAAYY NNoovveem mbbeerr 99 CCOOM MEEDDYY CCAATTCCHH Janet Williams RRHHYYTTHHM M& & BBRREEW WSS Ben Bridwell, Bryan Cates SSIINNGG IITT OORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke BBAARRTT’’SS LLAAKKEESSHHOORREE DJ E VVAAUUDDEEVVIILLLLEE CCAAFFEE “Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding” MEEM M MO ORRIIA ALL A AU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M Michael English SSUUGGAARR’’SS The Micks EEDDDDIIEE’’SS AATTTTIICC (Atlanta) The Greencards

SSU UNNDDAAYY NNoovveem mbbeerr 1100 CCOOM MEEDDYY CCAATTCCHH Janet Williams SSIINNGG IITT OORR W WIINNGG IITT Karaoke

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MOONNDDAAYY NNoovveem M mbbeerr 1111 SSIINNGG IITT OORR W WIINNGG IITT Karaoke RRAAW W DJ Spicolli TTRREEM MO ON NTT TTA AVVEERRN N Trivia Night TTHHEE OOFFFFIICCEE SpeakEasy FFOOXX && HHOOUUNNDD DJ Exphacter OONNEE--EELLEEVVEENN (Lafayette) CSA Writers Night BBUUCCKKHHEEAADD TTHHEEAATTRREE (Atlanta) Two Door Cinema Club, Bad Veins TTHHEE TTAABBEERRNNAACCLLEE (Atlanta) Iron & Wine MEERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Polica RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Lynyrd Skynyrd MA M ARRA ATTH HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Laura Marling, Willy Mason

TTU UEESSDDAAYY NNoovveem mbbeerr 1122 TTHHEE BBIIGG CCHHIILLLL Karaoke w/ Chris of Alternative Images RRAAW W DJ Spicolli JJEEFFFFEERRSSOONN’’SS Kamakazi Karaoke SSIINNGG IITT OORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke TTRREEM MO ON NTT TTA AVVEERRN N Open Mic w/ Mike McDade NNOORRTTHHSSHHOORREE GGRRIILLLLEE Jonathan Wimpee SSUUGGAARR’’SS Tim Starnes & Friends TTRRAACCKK 2299 Steve Vai JJ..JJ..’’SS BBOOHHEEM MIIA A Kurt Vile, Beach Fossils MA M ARRA ATTH HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Two Door Cinema Club, Bad Veins SSM MIITTH H’’SS O OLLD DEE BBA ARR (Atlanta) Stephen Kellogg & the Sixers, The Saint Johns TTEERRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Polica BBUUCCKKHHEEAADD TTHHEEAATTRREE (Atlanta) The


Head & the Heart, Thao & the Get Down Stay Down, Quiet Life EEDDDDIIEE’’SS AATTTTIICC (Atlanta) Ed Kowlczyk

WEEDDNNEESSDDAAYY NNoovveem W mbbeerr 1133 RRAAW W Open Jam w/ Jonathan Wimpee and friends SSIINNGG IITT OORR W WIINNGG IITT Karaoke FFAANNAATTIICCSS Karaoke w/ DJ Hammer PPLLAAYYOOFFFFSS SSPPOORRTTSS BBAARR Karaoke w/ Captain Karaoke DDOOUUBBLLEE HHIILLLL BBIILLLLIIAARRDDSS Karaoke LLAASS M MA ARRG GA ARRIITTA A’’SS Priscilla & Little Rickee BBAARRTT’’SS LLAAKKEESSHHOORREE Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment SSM MO OK KEEYY BBO ON NEESS Wild’n Out Wednesdays W/ DJ ScubaSteve FFOOXX && HHOOUUNNDD Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment AARRII’’SS HHAARRBBOORR LLIIGGHHTTSS Keyz Brown TTHHEE TTAAVVEERRNN (Soddy-Daisy) Roberts & Sims SSUUGGAARR’’SS Dan Sheffield WO W ORRK KPPLLA AYY TTH HEEA ATTRREE (Birmingham) Steve Vai EEXXIITT//IINN (Nashville) Stephen Kellogg & the Sixers, The Saint Johns LLOOVVEELLEESSSS CCAAFFÉÉ (Nashville) The Greencards BBUUCCKKHHEEAADD TTHHEEAATTRREE (Atlanta) Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue

UPPCCOOM U MIINNGG EEVVEENNTTSS SSUUGGAARR’’SS Jonathan Wimpee November 14 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Amos Lee, Hurray For the Riff Raff November 14 HHAARRDD RROOCCKK CCAAFFÉÉ (Nashville) Kelly Clarkson November 14 FFRRAANNKKLLIINN TTHHEEAATTRREE (Franklin, TN) Ed Kowalczyk November 14 SSUUGGAARR’’SS Queen B & Well Strung Band November 15 PPOOKKEEYY’’SS (Cleveland) Convertibull November 15 BBRRIIDDGGEESSTTOONNEE AARREENNAA (Nashville) Justin Timberlake November 15 BBLLIINNDD W WIILLLLIIEE’’SS (Atlanta) The Nighthawks November 15 BBAARRKKIINNGG LLEEGGSS TTHHEEAATTEERR Bombadil, Birds With Fleas November 16 SSUUGGAARR’’SS SRO Band November 16 TTHHEE M MA ASSQ QU UEERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) The Chariot, Glass Cloud, To The Wind November 16 VVAARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYHHOOUUSSEE (Atlanta) WAR November 16 PPHHIILLIIPPSS AARREENNAA (Atlanta) Elton John

22 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HAALLLL (Atlanta) Michael W. Smith November 22 TTHHEE TTAABBEERRNNAACCLLEE (Atlanta) Third Eye Blind November 22 WO W ORRK KPPLLA AYY TTH HEEA ATTRREE (Birmingham) Matt Wertz November 23 ZZYYDDEECCOO (Birmingham) Chris Knight, Mic Harrison & the High Score November 23 CCEENNTTEERR SSTTAAGGEE (Atlanta) Johnny Marr November 23 FFOOXX TTHHEEAATTRREE (Atlanta) Joe Bonamassa November 23 JJ..JJ..’’SS BBOOHHEEM MIIA A Loves It November 24 CCEENNTTEERR SSTTAAGGEE (Atlanta) Jonny Lang November 24 TTHHEE TTAABBEERRNNAACCLLEE (Atlanta) MGMT November 24 BBRRIIDDGGEESSTTOONNEE AARREENNAA (Nashville) Korn, Rob Zombie November 24 EEXXIITT//IINN (Nashville) The Misfits November 24 BBRRIIDDGGEESSTTOONNEE AARREENNAA (Nashville) Paramore, Metric, Hellogoodbye November 26 AARREENNAA AATT GGW WIIN NN NEETTTT CCEEN NTTEERR (Atlanta) Paramore, Metric, Hellogoodbye November 27 BBRRIIDDGGEESSTTOONNEE AARREENNAA (Nashville) Roberts November 19 Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar TTEERRM MIINNAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Mike November 27 Doughty November 20 H H I I G G H H W W A A T T T T (Nashville) The London FFO OXX TTHHEEAATTRREE (Atlanta) Rick Ross, 1500 Or Nothing Band November 20 Souls November 27 SSLLUUGGGGOO’’SS Lord Subliminal, Originill, HOONNEESSTT PPIINNTT Natural Habitz H DJ Robbie Loco, Billy Dee Regal November 21 November 29 RRYYM MAANN AAUUDDIITTOORRIIUUM M (Nashville) ZZ B B A A R R K K I I N N G G L L E E GGSS TTHHEEAATTEERR Angel Top November 21 Snow, Little Country Giants SSO OUUTTHHBBOOUUNNDD (Knoxville) Chris November 29 Knight, Mic Harrison & the High CCOOBBBB EENNEERRGGYY PPEERRFFOORRM MIIN NG GA ARRTTSS Score November 21 BBRRIID DGGEESSTTOONNEE AARREENNAA (Nashville) The CCEENNTTEERR (Atlanta) Amos Lee, Mutlu Charlie Daniels Band, Kenny Rogers, November 29 DG GEESSTTO ON NEE A ARREEN NA A (Nashville) Montgomery Gentry, Dierks Bentley, BBRRIID Casting Crowns, Steven Curtis Tanya Tucker, Josh Turner, Garth Chapman November 29 Brooks, Kid Rock, Same Moore, VVAARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYHHOOUUSSEE (Atlanta) Shelby Lynne, the Oak Ridge Boys, Shawn Mullins November 30 Randy Travis, Alan Jackson, T. P P H H I I L L I I P P S S AARREENNAA (Atlanta) Casting Graham Brown, Mark Chesnutt, Joe Crowns, Steven Curtis Chapman Diffie, Jamey Johnson, Tracy November 30 Lawrence, Patty Loveless, Kathy TTEENNNNEESSSSEEEE TTHHEEAATTRREE (Knoxville) Mattea, Lorrie Morgan, Pam Tillis, Amos Lee November 30 Gene Watson, Clay Walker, Aaron M M A A R R A A T T HHOONN M MU USSIICC W WO ORRK KSS Tippin, Collin Ray, Crystal Gayle, (Nashville) Will Hoge, Red Wanting Brenda Lee, TG Sheppard, Bobby Blue November 30 Bare, Don Mclean, Billy Ray Cyrus FFRRAANNKKLLIINN TTHHEEAATTRREE (Franklin) Macy November 22 Gray November 30 MAARRAATTHHOONN M M MUUSSIICC W WOORRKKSS EEXXIITT//IINN (Nashville) Chvrches (Nashville) Johnny Marr November December 1 22 PPHHIILLIIPPSS AARREENNAA (Atlanta) Kanye ARREENNAA @ A @ GGW WIINNNNEETTTT CCEENNTTEERR West, Kendrick Lamar December 1 (Atlanta) Macklamore & Ryan Lewis, J J . . J J . . ’ ’ S S B B OOHHEEM MIIA A Screaming Females Talib Kwell, Big K.R.I.T. November November 16 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORRIIUUM M (Nashville) Janelle Monae November 17 TTEERRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESSTT (Nashville) Of Montreal, La Luz November 17 SSCCHHEERRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Restless Heart, Amy Grant, , Peter Noone, Tracy Lawrence, David Phelps, Randy Houser, Charlie McCoy, Buddy Greene, Melinda Doolittle, Big Daddy Wave, Nashville Symphony November 17 FFRRAANNKKLLIINN TTHHEEAATTRREE (Franklin) Michael Nesmith November 17 VVAARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYHHOOUUSSEE (Atlanta) Rickie Lee Jones November 17 TTEERRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Of Montral, La Luz November 17 BBJJCCCC AARREENNAA (Birmingham) The Eagles November 18 JJEEM MIISSO ON N CCO ON NCCEERRTT H HA ALLLL (Birmingham) Natalie Merchant November 18 FFRRAANNKKLLIINN TTHHEEAATTRREE (Franklin) Michael Nesmith November 18 MEERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Mike Doughty November 19 D& 33RRD & LLIINNDDSSLLEEYY (Nashville) Julie

ENIGMA

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NOVEMBER 7-9

JOSH WOLF

JOSH WOLF HAS BECOME ONE OF THE MOST SOUGHT AFTER PERSONALITIES IN COMEDY TODAY. FROM ADDING HIS QUICK WITTED COMMENTARY ON COMEDY ROUND TABLES, TO BECOMING A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR, WRITING ON HIT TELEVISION SHOWS, AND HEADLINING STAND-UP COMEDY TOURS ACROSS THE NATION,

NOVEMBER 14-16

TIM WILSON

WITH APPEARANCES ON “THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO”, AND “GRACE UNDER FIRE”, AS WELL AS MANY CABLE SHOWS, TIM IS A LEGEND IN THE SOUTH. HE'S A REGULAR GUEST ON SOME OFF THE COUNTRY'S HOTTEST SYNDICATED RADIO SHOWS, "THE JOHN BOY & BILLY SHOW" "BOB AND TOM" AS WELL AS "RICK AND BUBBA". HE HAS BEEN A COLOR COMMENTATOR ON TNN'S “DEMOLITION DERBY SHOWDOWN”, WHOSE THEME SONG - "BONDO JONES" - HE WROTE AND SANG. HIS MANY COMEDY SONGS SUCH AS "GARTH BROOKS HAS RUINED MY LIFE", "TRAILER PARK WOMAN", "HE'S MY BROTHER-IN-LAW", "THE REDNECK TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS”, “FIRST BAPTIST BAR & GRILL” “CHUCKY CHEESE HELL” AND HIS LATEST "BUT I COULD BE WRONG" HAVE LANDED HIM A HOME WITH CAPITOL RECORDS IN NASHVILLE"

NOV 29 - DEC 1

DL HUGHLEY THE PROLIFIC COMIC IS PARLAYING

HIS TALENTS IN THE WRITING ARENA. HE HAS WRITTEN SEVERAL ARTICLES FOR THE HUFFINGTON POST AND THE NEW YORK TIMES THE TWO ARTICLES WILL UNDOUBTEDLY PREPARE HUGHLEY’S FANS—AND CRITICS—FOR HIS NEW BOOK ENTITLED “I WANT YOU TO SHUT THE F*** UP: HOW THE AUDACITY OF DOPES IS RUNNING AMERICA.”

FOR UPDATES, DISCOUNTS AND FREE TICKETS, TEXT COMEDYCATCH TO 99000

3223 BRAINERD RD.423.622.2233 WWW.THECOMEDYCATCH.COM


December 2 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERRFFO ORRM MIIN NG G AARRTTSS CCEEN NTTEERR (Atlanta) Dave Koz, Oleta Adams, Jonathan Butler, Keiko Matsui December 2 BBJJCCCC A ARREEN NAA (Birmingham) Pink December 3 EED DD DIIEE’’SS AATTTTIICC (Atlanta) Patterson Hood December 3 NTTEERR SSTTAAG GEE (Atlanta) Chris CCEEN Cornell December 3 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Victor Wooten December 4 BBRRIID DG GEESSTTO ON NEE AARREEN NA A (Nashville) John Mayer, Phillip Phillips December 4 ARREEN A NAA @ @G GW WIIN NN NEETTTT CCEEN NTTEERR (Atlanta) Michael English December 5 TTH HEE M MAASSQ QU UEERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Monster Magnet December 6 VVA ARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Carolina Chocolate Drops December 6 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERRFFO ORRM MIIN NG G AARRTTSS CCEEN NTTEERR (Atlanta) Sinbad December 6 BBO OTTTTLLEETTRREEEE (Birmingham) Those Darlins December 6 BBIIJJO OU U TTH HEEAATTRREE (Knoxville) Delbert McClinton December 6 DAALLTTO D ON ND DEEPPO OTT (Dalton) Donna Ulisse, Earl Brackin Band December 7 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Brian Setzer Orchestra December 8 MAARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Animal Collective

December 8 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Brian Setzer Orchestra December 9 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Goo Goo Dolls December 10 WA W ARR M MEEM MO ORRIIA ALL A AU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Thirty Seconds to Mars December 10 EED DD DIIEE’’SS A ATTTTIICC (Atlanta) Patterson Hood December 10 CCA AM MPP H HO OU USSEE Emily Hearn December 11 PPH HIILLIIPPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Pitbull, Robin Thicke, Flo Rida, Armin Van Buuren, Travis McCoy December 11 EEX XIITT//IIN N (Nashville) Devon Allman December 11 b (Nashville) Thomas Rhett December 11 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 The Infamous Stringdusters, Paper Bird December 12 VVA ARRIIEETTYY PPLLA AYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) John Waters December 12 BBIIJJO OU U TTH HEEA ATTRREE (Knoxville) Carolina Chocolate Drops December 12/13 BBJJCCCC A ARREEN NA A (Birmingham) Pink December 13 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Emmylou Harris, Rodney Crowell December 14 PPH HIILLIIPPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Andrea Bocelli December 15 EED DD DIIEE’’SS A ATTTTIICC Ed Roland December 15 FFO OXX TTH HEEA ATTRREE (Atlanta) Vince Gill December 16 TTH HEE M MA ASSQ QU UEERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Misfits

December 16 EED DD DIIEE’’SS AATTTTIICC Ed Roland December 16 PPH HIILLIIPPSS AARREEN NAA (Atlanta) Justin Timberlake December 17 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERRFFO ORRM MIIN NG G AARRTTSS CCEEN NTTEERR (Atlanta) Brian Setzer Orchestra December 17 WAARR M W MEEM MO ORRIIAALL AAU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) John Tesh December 18 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Brendan Benson December 18 LLA AU UG GH HIIN NG G SSK KU ULLLL LLO OU UN NG GEE (Atlanta) Bobcat Goldthwait December 19-22 BBJJCCCC CCO ON NCCEERRTT H HAALLLL (Birmingham) “Mythbusters” December 20 SSTTO ON NEE FFO OXX (Nashville) Those Darlins December 20 WO W ORRK KPPLLAAYY TTH HEEAATTRREE (Birmingham) Delbert McClinton December 21 PPH HIILLIIPPSS AARREEN NAA (Atlanta) Jay Z December 27 TTH HEE TTAABBEERRN NAACCLLEE (Atlanta) Lunice December 27 TTH HEE EEAARRLL (Atlanta) Dead Confederate December 27 BBJJCCCC A ARREEN NAA (Birmingham) Jay Z December 28 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HAALLLL (Atlanta) Widespread Panic December 30 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Old Crow Medicine Show December 30 PPH HIILLIIPPSS AARREEN NAA (Atlanta) Widespread Panic December 31 FFO OXX TTH HEEAATTRREE (Atlanta) Cedric the Entertainer December 31 VVA ARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Drivin’ N’ Cryin’ December 31

WIILLD W D BBIILLLL’’SS (Duluth) Florida Georgia Line December 31 ““BBA ASSH HO ON N BBRRO OAAD DW WAAYY”” (Nashville) Hank Williams Jr. December 31 DG GEESSTTO ON NEE AARREEN NAA (Nashville) BBRRIID Bassnectar, Zoion 1, Ill-Esha December 31 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) Clutch January 6 OH HEEM MIIAA Saintseneca January JJ..JJ..’’SS BBO 8 WO W ORRK KPPLLAAYY TTH HEEAATTRREE (Birmingham) Queensryche January 9 BBIIJJO OU U TTH HEEAATTRREE (Knoxville) Steep Canyon Rangers January 9 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERRFFO ORRM MIIN NG G AARRTTSS CCEEN NTTEERR (Atlanta) Travis Tritt January 10 CCEEN NTTEERR SSTTAAG GEE (Atlanta) Queensryche January 10 FFO OXX TTH HEEAATTRREE (Atlanta) The Allman Brothers Band, Trace Adkins, Jackson Browne, Eric Church, Natalie Cole, Brantley Gilbert, Warren Haynes, John Hiatt, Jaimoe’s Jasssz, Taj Hahal, Keb’ Mo’, Martina McBride, Pat Monahan, Sam Moore, Robert Randolph, Susan Tedeschi, Derek Trucks, Don Was, Widespread Panic January 10 EED DD DIIEE’’SS AATTTTIICC (Atlanta) Iris DeMent January 12 VVA ARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Leon Russell, Hot Tuna January 15 WO W ORRK KPPLLAAYY TTH HEEAATTRREE (Birmingham) The Wailers January 15 BBLLIIN ND DW WIILLLLIIEE’’SS (Atlanta) Lil’ Ed & the Blues Imperials January 16 TTH HEE EEAARRLL (Atlanta) The Paul Collins Beat, Parasite Diet, Vito January 16 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Blackberry Smoke January 17 TTIIVVO OLLII TTH HEEAATTRREE Don Williams January 18 VVA ARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) The Grapes January 18 TTEERRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Earphunk January 18 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSSLLEEYY (Nashville) Melissa Manchester January 18 BBIIJJO OU U TTH HEEAATTRREE (Knoxville) Big Head Todd & the Monster January 23 SSCCH HEERRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Kathleen Madigan January 24 VVA ARRIIEETTYY PPLLAAYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Amy Ray January 26 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSSLLEEYY (Nashville) Big Head Todd & the Monster January 26 TTH HEE M MAASSQ QU UEERRAAD DEE (Atlanta) Falling In Reverse, Escape the Fate, Chelsea Grin, Survive This! January 27

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CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERRFFO ORRM MIIN NG G AARRTTSS CCEEN NTTEERR (Atlanta) Aaron Neville, Dirty Dozen Brass Band January 30 TTH HO OM MPPSSO ON N--BBO OLLIIN NG GA ARREEN NA A (Knoxville) Keith Urban, Little Big Town, Dustin Lynch January 31 BBRRIID DG GEESSTTO ON NEE AARREEN NA A (Nashville) Keith Urban, Little Big Town, Dustin Lynch February 1 MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) The RRYYM Pixies, Cults February 2 TTH HEE TTAABBEERRN NAACCLLEE (Atlanta) The Pixies, Cults February 4 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Neutral Milk Hotel February 4 TTEEN NN NEESSSSEEEE TTH HEEA ATTRREE (Knoxville) Jonny Lang February 4 PPH HIILLIIPPSS AARREEN NAA (Atlanta) Kings of Leon, Gary Clark Jr. February 5 TTH HEE TTAABBEERRN NAACCLLEE (Atlanta) Panic! At the Disco February 7 BBRRIID DG GEESSTTO ON NEE AARREEN NA A (Nashville) Kings of Leon, Gary Clark Jr. February 7 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HA ALLLL (Atlanta) Buddy Guy February 13 BBJJCCCC A ARREEN NAA (Birmingham) Lady Antebellum, Kip Moore, Kacey Musgraves February 15 MEERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., Chad Valley February 17 WAARR M W MEEM MO ORRIIAALL AAU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Buddy Guy, Robert Randolph & the Family Band February 20 FFO OXX TTH HEEAATTRREE (Atlanta) Robin Thicke, Jessie J, DJ Cassidy February

21 PPH HIILLIIPPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Demi Lovato, Fifth Harmony, Little Mix February 21 DG GEESSTTO ON NEE A ARREEN NA A (Nashville) BBRRIID Imagine Dragons, The Naked and Famous February 24 PPH HIILLIIPPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Imagine Dragons, The Naked and Famous February 26 TTH HEE N NIICCK K (Birmingham) Agent Orange March 7 CCEEN NTTEERR SSTTA AG GEE (Atlanta) George Thorogood & the Destroyers March 11 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) George Thorogood & the Destroyers March 12 WIILLD W DH HO ORRSSEE SSA ALLO OO ON N (Nashville) George Thorogood & the Destroyers March 13 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HA ALLLL (Atlanta) Chris Botti March 14 KN K NO OXXVVIILLLLEE CCO OLLIISSEEIIU UM M (Knoxville) Indigo Girls March 15 TTH HEE M MA ASSQ QU UEERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Agent Orange March 16 EED DD DIIEE’’SS A ATTTTIICC (Atlanta) Al Stewart March 20 MA M ARRA ATTH HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) James Blake March 20 SSCCH HEERRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Kenny Loggins March 20 BBRRIID DG GEESSTTO ON NEE A ARREEN NA A (Nashville) George Strait, Sheryl Crow March 21 SSCCH HEERRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Kenny Loggins March 21 PPH HIILLIIPPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) George

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Strait, Sheryl Crow March 22 VVA ARREEIITTYY PPLLAAYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) The Johnny Clegg Band March 26 BBRRIID DG GEESSTTO ON NEE AARREEN NAA (Nashville) Demi Lovato, Fifth Harmony, Cher Lloyd March 29 BBRRIID DG GEESSTTO ON NEE AARREEN NAA (Nashville) Cher March 31 PPH HIILLIIPPSS AARREEN NAA (Atlanta) Lady Antebellum, Kip Moore, Kacey Musgraves April 1 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HAALLLL (Atlanta) Yo Yo Ma April 2 BBA ARRK KIIN NG G LLEEG GSS TTH HEEAATTEERR Pierre Bensusan April 3 CCEEN NTTEERR SSTTAAG GEE (Atlanta) Stephen Marley April 13 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Joe Bonamassa April 26 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HAALLLL (Atlanta) Boz Scaggs April 27 TTH HO OM MPPSSO ON N--BBO OLLIIN NG G AARREEN NAA (Knoxville) Lady Antebellum, Kip Moore, Kacey Musgraves April 27 EEX XIITT//IIN N (Nashville) Mogwai May 3 TTH HEE TTAABBEERRN NAACCLLEE (Atlanta) The Wanted May 7 PPH HIILLIIPPSS AARREEN NAA (Atlanta) Cher May 12 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HAALLLL (Atlanta) Ben Folds May 23

CCO ON NTTIIN NU UIIN NG G FFIIRRSSTT CCEEN NTTEEN NAARRYY U UN NIITTEED D

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MEETTH M HO OD DIISSTT CCH HU URRCCH H (Room 135) Singles One Mondays @ 6 PM GRREEAATTEERR CCH G HAATTTTAAN NO OO OG GAA AASSPPIIEESS Third Tuesday of each month, 6-8 pm http://www.meetup.com/G-C-As BBIIG G CCH HIILLLL Karaoke Tuesdays DEEVVEELLO D OPPM MEEN NTT RREESSO OU URRCCEE BBU UIILLD DIIN NG G (1250 Market Street) Chattanooga Alliance for Animals First Wednesday of the month MIILLLLEERR M M MO OTTLLEE TTEECCH HN NIICCAALL CCO OLLLLEEG GEE CHEO Complimentary Health Education Organization Chapter Meeting Third Sunday 2-4 PM TTH HEE CCH HAATTTTAAN NO OO OG GA AN N Breakfast Education & Networking Workshop Second Wednesday of the month BBRRA AD DFFO ORRD DH HEEAALLTTH H CCEEN NTTEERR (6160 Shallowford Rd.) Free Parent Support Meeting Thursdays 5-6pm TTH HEE EELLK KSS LLO OD DG GEE (Cleveland) Joe Collins Tuesdays LLA ASS M MAARRG GAARRIITTAA’’SS (Cleveland) Collins Brothers Band Thursdays LLA ASS M MAARRG GAARRIITTAA’’SS Priscilla & Little Rickee Wednesdays TTH HEE O OFFFFIICCEE SpeakEasy Mondays SSO OU UTTH HSSIID DEE TTAAVVEERRN N Troy Underwood Tuesdays PPO OK KEEYY’’SS 2nFro Wednesdays CCA AM MPP H HO OU USSEE Open Mic Thursdays TTH HEE TTAAVVEERRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Roberts & Sims Wednesdays


OPENING THIS WEEK

NOW SHOWING

Thor: The Dark World PG-13 Thor fights to restore order across the cosmos, but an ancient race, led by the vengeful Malekith, returns to plunge the universe back into darkness. Faced with an enemy that even Odin and Asgard cannot withstand, Thor must embark on his most perilous and personal journey yet, one that will reunite him with Jane Foster and force him to sacrifice everything to save us all.

12 Years A Slave R In the pre-Civil War United States, Solomon Northup, a free black man from upstate New York, is abducted and sold into slavery. Facing cruelty at the hands of a malevolent slave owner, as well as unexpected kindnesses, Solomon struggles not only to stay alive, but to retain his dignity. In the twelfth year of his unforgettable odyssey, Solomon’s chance meeting with a Canadian abolitionist will forever alter his life.

Natalie Portman and Chris Hemsworth in Marvel’s “Thor: The Dark World”.

Captain Phillips PG-13 The film focuses on the relationship between the Alabama’s commanding officer, Captain Richard Phillips and his Somali counterpart, Muse. Set on an incontrovertible collision course off the coast of Somalia, both men will find themselves paying the human toll for economic forces outside of their control.

- and one of his greatest inventions – is Barb, a highly evolved orangutan with a human brain. It’s always been Flint’s dream to be recognized as a great inventor, but everything changes when he discovers that his most infamous machine (which turns water into food) is still operating and is now creating food-animal hybrids – “foodimals!” With the fate of humanity in his hands, Chester sends Flint and his friends on a dangerously delicious mission – to battle hungry tacodiles, shrimpanzees, hippotatomuses, cheespiders and other food creatures to save the world again!

Carrie R Carrie White is a shy outcast at high school and has been sheltered by her deeply religious mother. When Carrie is pushed too far at her senior prom, she unleashes telekinetic terror on the The Counselor R entire town. A lawyer seems to have it all, with Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs fast cars, a gorgeous house, a beautiful fiancé and a lifestyle 2G Inventor Flint Lockwood’s genius most people would envy. His is finally being recognized as he’s hubris leads him to enter into invited by his idol Chester V to what he assumes will be a onejoin The Live Corp Company, time drug deal, but he’s not going where the best and brightest to get off that easy. inventors in the world create technologies for the betterment of Ender’s Game PG-13 mankind. Chester’s right-hand-gal In the near future, a hostile alien ENIGMA

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race called the Formics have attacked Earth. If not for the legendary heroics of International Fleet Commander Mazer Rackham, all would have been lost. In preparation for the next attack, the highly esteemed Colonel Hyrum Graff and the International Military are training only the best young minds to find the future Mazer. Escape Plan R Ray Breslin, the world’s foremost authority on structural security, agrees to take on one last job: breaking out of an ultra-secret, high-tech facility called “The Tomb.” But when he is wrongly imprisoned, he must recruit fellow inmate Emil Rottmayer to help devise a daring, nearly impossible plan to escape from the most protected and fortified prison ever built. Free Birds PG Two turkeys from opposite sides of the tracks must put aside their differences and team up to travel back in time to change the course of history - and get turkey off the holiday menu for good. Gravity PG-13 Dr. Ryan Stone is a brilliant engineer on her first shuttle mission with veteran astronaut Matt Kowalski. But on a seemingly routine spacewalk, disaster strikes. The shuttle is destroyed, leaving Stone and Kowalski completely alone—tethered to nothing but each other and spiraling out into the blackness. The deafening silence tells them they have lost any link to Earth…and any chance for rescue. As fear turns to panic, every gulp of air eats away at what little oxygen is left. But the only way home may be to go further out into the terrifying expanse of space. Insidious: Chapter 2 PG-13 The haunted Lambert family seeks to uncover the mysterious childhood secret that has left them dangerously connected to the spirit world.

Jackass Presents: Bad Grampa R Irving Zisman, 86, is on a journey across America with the most unlikely companion - his 8-yearold grandson Billy. Along the way, Irving will introduce the young and impressionable Billy to people, places and situations that give new meaning to the term childrearing. The duo will encounter male strippers, disgruntled child beauty pageant contestants (and their equally disgruntled mothers), funeral home mourners, biker bar patrons and a whole lot of unsuspecting citizens. Real people in unreal situations, making for one really messed up comedy.

along with new friends, and a little divine intervention, he discovers the true meaning of faith, healing, and family. Delivery Man PG-13 An immature middle-age man discovers he has fathered over 530 children throughout the years through sperm donations. When 142 of his offspring file a classaction lawsuit to reveal their dad’s identity, he must decide whether he is going to become a real father.

PG-13 Katniss Everdeen has returned home safely after winning the 74th Annual Hunger Games along with fellow tribute Peeta Mellark. Winning means that they must turn around and leave their family and close friends, embarking on a “Victor’s Tour” of the districts. Along the way, Katniss senses that a rebellion is simmering, but the Capitol is still very much in control as President Snow prepares the 75th Annual Hunger Games (The Quarter Quell) - a competition that could change Panem forever.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Last Vegas PG-13 Billy, Paddy, Archie and Sam have been best friends since childhood. So when Billy, the group’s sworn bachelor, finally proposes to his thirty-something (of course) girlfriend, the four head to Las Vegas with a plan to stop acting their age and relive their glory days. However, upon arriving, the four quickly realize that the decades have transformed Sin City and tested their friendship in ways they never imagined. The Rat Pack may have once played the Sands and Cirque du Soleil may now rule the Strip, but it’s these four who are taking over Vegas. COMING SOON The Best Man Holiday R When college friends reunite after 15 years over the Christmas holidays, they will discover just how easy it is for long-forgotten rivalries and romances to be ignited. Black Nativity PG Langston, a street-wise teen from Baltimore raised by a single mother, journeys to New York City to spend the Christmas holiday with his estranged relatives Reverend Cornell and Aretha Cobbs. Unwilling to live by the imposing Reverend Cobbs’ rules, a frustrated Langston is determined to return home to his mother, Naima. Langston embarks on a surprising and inspirational journey and ENIGMA

Across 2. Worn to protect the clothing 6. Fermented grape juices 11. Lady's-finger 13. State resident 15. English princess 17. Fixes 18. Ogles 19. Underground part of a plant 20. Deuces 21. Thin glutinous mud 22. Authentic 23. Finish first 25. Biddies 26. Person whose religion is Judaism 30. Devote 32. Modify 36. Complete change 37. Shooting sport 38. Sealing compound 40. Purchase

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12. Flightless bird 14. Small dam 16. Part of speech 24. Rich and fashionable travellers 26. Trash 27. Spouse 28. Group of tents 29. Genus of vermin 30. Step in ballet 31. Short letter 33. Paint unskillfully 34. Be sorry for 35. Plaything 39. Highest 42. Public exhibition Down 43. Judges 1. Florida city 2. Inert elemental gas 44. Metal fastener 45. Mathematics 3. Move past 46. Raised platform 4. Lubricates 47. Evade work 5. Yuletide 6. Of moderate tem- 48. Unwieldy ship 51. Career golfers perature 52. Unpleasant smell 7. Insert 53. Salver 8. Planet 54. Stylish 9. Breathe noisily 10. Hates intensely

41. Places to sleep 47. Shaft horsepower 49. Executive Officer 50. Away 54. Pal 55. Imitator 56. Tester 57. Hawaiian port 58. Draw near 59. Book of the Bible 60. Annoys 61. Native of Switzerland 62. Type of packsack

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October, 1991 at the age of 60. 11996666 Eight weeks after their TV series debuted, The Monkees had the number one record in the US with “Last Train To Clarksville”. 11996677 Pink Floyd make their US debut at the Winterland Ballroom in San Francisco. The tour will come to an early end when Syd Barrett displays increasingly strange behavior, refusing to lip sync to “Arnold Layne” on American Bandstand and refusing to answer questions on The Pat Boone Show. 11995544 Elvis Presley made his only commercial when he sang a jingle for Southern Maid Doughnuts on the Louisiana Hayride radio program. Elvis sang “You can get ‘em piping hot after four p.m., you can get ‘em piping hot. Southern Maid Doughnuts hit the spot, you can get ‘em piping hot after four p.m.” 11995555 The Everly Brothers made their first studio recordings, cutting four tracks in 22 minutes at Nashville’s Old Tulane Hotel Studios. 11995566 Elvis Presley’s “Love Me Tender” took over the top spot on the Billboard chart, pushing his double sided hit “Don’t Be Cruel” / “Hound Dog” to number two.

11995577 Sun Records releases “Great Balls of Fire” by Jerry Lee Lewis. It will be his biggest hit, reaching number two on the Billboard Pop chart, number three on the R&B list and number one on the Country And Western chart. The single sold a million copies during its first ten days of release and would go on to sell over five million copies worldwide. ABC-Paramount releases Danny And The Juniors’ first hit, “At the Hop”. The song sold 7,000 copies in and around Philadelphia when it was first issued on the small independent Singular label. 11995599 RCA executives offer a guarantee of $100,000 to Sam Cooke in an effort to lure him to their label when his Keen Records contract expires. 11996600 33-year-old Johnny Horton, who had a number one hit with “Battle of New Orleans”, died when his Cadillac was hit by a drunken truck driver in Milano, Texas. Ironically, Johnny had just played his last show at the Skyline in Austin, where Hank Williams had played his last show as well. Horton’s widow, Billy Joe, was also Hanks Williams’ widow. 11996611 Jimmy Dean’s “Big, Bad John” becomes the 100th US number one single of the Rock and Roll era. It would prove to be his only chart topper, although he would have another Top Ten record with “P.T. 109” the next year. Jimmy said he wrote the song in an hour and a half while fly-

ing to Nashville for a recording session. Ray Charles is arrested in Indianapolis after police discover marijuana and heroin in his hotel room. \Brian Epstein went to Liverpool’s Cavern Club to see The Beatles perform for the first time. He had been getting requests at his NEMS music store for a record called “My Bonnie”. After several more visits, Epstein would offer to manage the group, which he did until his death in 1967. 11996622 A song called “He’s A Rebel” topped the Billboard Hot 100, credited to The Crystals. In reality, the song was recorded by a trio known as The Blossoms, featuring lead singer Darlene Love. Phil Spector had hastily put the song together while The Crystals were out of town and put their name on the label because they had already had two top twenty hits with “There’s No Other” and “Uptown”. 11996633 The Kingsmen’s classic, “Louie, Louie” is released in the US. It will enter the Hot 100 near the end of November and peak at #2 in early January.

11996655 The Who release a song called “My Generation” which will become a sort of anthem for British teens, rising to number two on the UK chart. In the US however, despite performing the tune on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, the song will be mostly ignored and would get no higher than number 74 on the Billboard chart. “My Generation” was named the 11th greatest song by Rolling Stone on their list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time. After the success of “Satisfaction”, The Rolling Stones top the Billboard Hot 100 for the second time with “Get Off of My Cloud”. Keith Richards would later say, “I never dug it as a record. The chorus was a nice idea, but we rushed it as the follow-up.” Bill Graham opened The Fillmore West in San Francisco as a west coast partner to his Fillmore East in New York. The venue was the launching pad for The Jefferson Airplane, The Grateful Dead, Big Brother And The Holding Company and many other local bands. Both sites remained in operation until 1971. Graham died in a helicopter crash in

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Smokey Robinson And The Miracles’ “I Second That Emotion” is released. The tune will top the Billboard R&B chart, reach #4 on the Pop chart and climb to #27 in the UK. Kenny Rogers And The First Edition make their TV debut on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Over the next three years, they will place seven songs on the Billboard Top 40 and have their own TV show in the Fall of 1971. November 5 2,000 people attend an auction of Elvis Presley’s personal belongings at his Circle G Ranch in Horn Lake, Mississippi, ten miles from Graceland. The first issue of the Rock and Roll magazine Rolling Stone, which included a free roach clip with every subscription, is published in San Francisco. The cover featured a photo of John Lennon from his movie, How I Won The War. In a move which is later described by both sides as being conflicting egos, Roger McGuinn expels David Crosby from The Byrds. Crosby is replaced by Gene Clark, an original member of the group returning after two years away. 11996688 The Monkees’ three quarter of a million dollar feature film, Head debuts in New York. Instead of being aimed at their target audience of teeny boppers, the flick contains a dark theme about the manipulation of the group, seemingly pointless walk-on appearances by inappropriate guests and scenes of Vietnam War atrocities. Reviews are harsh and the picture is a box office disaster. A US Army captain is quoted in Rolling Stone magazine as saying “Rock and Roll music contributes to both the usage of drugs and the high VD rate among enlisted men in the army today.” 11996699 “Wedding Bell Blues” topped the Billboard Hot 100, giving The Fifth Dimension their second US number one record. The song was originally recorded as a private joke between group members Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr., who were engaged at the time. Simon And Garfunkel record what would become their signature tune, “Bridge Over Troubled Water”, with future member of Bread, Larry Knechtel on piano.

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Art wanted Paul to sing the song, but Paul insisted that Art’s voice was better suited for it. It was a decision that Paul would later say he regretted. 11997700 While making one of his rare stage appearances, The Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson loses his balance several times and has to be helped backstage. His right ear, the better of the two, sustains severe damage because of the volume level on-stage. MGM Records President Mike Curb announces that the company is dropping 18 acts from its roster in a move to discredit musicians who “exploit and promote hard drugs through music.” Among the acts dropped are Connie Francis, and The Cowsills, but not Eric Burdon. 11997711 Announcer Al Dvorin utters what would become a well-known phrase: “Elvis has left the building” at the end of a Minneapolis concert by the King. He was asked to make the announcement in an effort to quiet the fans who continued to call for an encore. Ironically, Dvorin was killed in an automobile accident following a concert by an Elvis impersonator in August, 2004. Cher scored her first solo US number one hit with “Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves”, a song that reached #4 in the UK. It had been four years since she last appeared on the Billboard singles chart with “You Better Sit Down, Kids”. 11997722 Eight weeks after entering the Billboard Hot 100, “I Can See Clearly Now” by


Johnny Nash claims the top spot. It made #5 in the UK. After a show at Imperial College in London, New York Dolls’ drummer, 21year-old Billy Murcia, is accidentally suffocated when his girlfriend tries to wake him by forcing him to drink coffee after he passed out from drugs and alcohol. 11997733 The De Franco Family enjoyed their biggest hit when “Heartbeat - It’s a Lovebeat” topped out at #3 on the Billboard chart. After years of struggling as a member of two New York area bands, The Hassels and Attila, and as a bar room piano player, Billy Joel releases what will ultimately be his breakthrough album, “Piano Man”. The title song will be released as a single and become a Top Twenty-five hit early next year. 11997744 Rolling Stone reports that Ted Nugent has won the National Squirrel-Shooting Archery Contest by picking off a squirrel at 150 yards. Nugent also wiped out 27 more of the small mammals with a handgun during the three day event. After appearing at the Westbury Music Fair in New York, Connie Francis is assaulted at knifepoint in her hotel room. Although she would win a three million dollar lawsuit, Connie would not perform again until 1981. 11997755 The Sex Pistols play their first show at St. Martin’s School of Art in London. The performance lasted about 10 minutes. David Bowie made his US TV debut performing “Fame”, on the Cher CBS-TV show. 11997766 Country / Rock band Firefall is awarded a Gold record for their self-titled debut album, which includes the #9 US hit single, “You Are the Woman”.

The Steve Miller Band scored their second US number one hit, “Rock’n’ Me”. It made #11 in the UK. In the wake of the reformed Fleetwood Mac’s success with their latest, self-titled album, one of the band’s earlier LPs, “Mystery to Me” goes Gold. 11997777 Ozzy Osbourne quits Black Sabbath, only to rejoin a few weeks later. He eventually leaves again to pursue a solo career. Donna Summer is awarded a Gold record for her Billboard #6 hit, “I Feel Love”. It was the second of her twenty, US Top 40 chart makers. 11997788 After returning from a two year hiatus, Anne Murray topped the Billboard Hot 100 with the biggest selling single of her career, “You Needed Me”. It was her fourth US Top Ten single and made #22 in the UK. Anne would go on to put six more songs on Billboard’s Top 40 Pop

chart.

music.

11997799 British musician Robin Scott, using the pseudonym M, topped the US singles chart with a Techno-Pop, dance tune called “Pop Muzik”. The record had reached number two in England the previous May.

11999933 Meat Loaf had the number one song in the US with “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”. It was the first we’d heard from him since his giant hit album, “Bat Out Of Hell” in 1977.

11998822 The Oscar-winning song from the movie An Officer and a Gentleman, “Up Where We Belong” by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes, led the US hit parade. Although their contrasting styles complimented each other perfectly, the singers had never met each other until the day they recorded the song. 11998833 The Fixx, a New Wave, Techno-Pop band from London, England, enjoy their peak U.S. chart success when “One Thing Leads To Another” reaches #4 on the Billboard chart. The song would later be featured in the video game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City on the fictional radio station Flash FM. It also turned up in an episode of TV’s Everybody Hates Chris and in the movie The House of the Devil. 11998844 Billy Ocean started a two week run at #1 on the Billboard singles chart with “Caribbean Queen”. The song was recorded under different titles for different parts of the world, resulting in versions such as “European Queen” and “African Queen”. 11998866 After “More Than A Feeling” reached number five (1976) and “Don’t Look Back” made it to number four (1978), Boston finally scored their first and only number one single with “Amanda”. 11998877 A 16-year-old singer named Tiffany had the top tune in the US with a cover version of Tommy James’ 1967 hit, “I Think We’re Alone Now”. His rendition stalled at number four. Tiffany became the youngest act to score a US #1 since a 14year-old Michael Jackson with did it with “Ben” in 1972. 11998888 The Beach Boys had the number one record in the US when “Kokomo”, from the movie Cocktail, reached the top. It made #25 in the UK. It had been 22 years since the group had their last US chart topper with “Good Vibrations”. Their only other Top Ten hit in that time had been “Rock and Roll Music” in 1976. 11999911 Carter Cornelius of The Cornelius Brothers And Sister Rose died of a heart attack at the age of 43. Their biggest hits were “Too Late To Turn Back Now” and “Treat Her Like A Lady”.

Moon and Dweezil Zappa announce that their father Frank has prostate cancer. 11999922 Elton John and his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin sign a $39 million publishing contract with Warner-Chappell

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11999944 Former Palm Springs mayor Sonny Bono is elected to the US House of Representatives. Author Ronald Kessler later pointed out in his exposé book Inside Congress that Bono was widely ridiculed and was called one of the “dimmest bulbs” in Congress by the political magazine The Progressive.

11999955 Hootie And The Blowfish reach an out of court settlement with Bob Dylan for the group’s unauthorized use of Dylan’s lyrics in their song “Only Want To Be With You”. 11999999 The Recording Industry Association of America announces their Artists Of The Century. The Beatles top the list for US sales of over 106 million albums. Garth Brooks was named most successful male artist (89 million albums sold) and Barbra Streisand the most successful female artist. (62 million albums sold). Elvis Presley had the most Gold and Platinum singles with 77, to go along with his 80 Gold and Platinum albums. Elton John’s “Candle In The Wind” (Princess Diana version) is the best selling single of all time and the Eagles “Greatest Hits 1971 - 1975” is the record holder for best selling album. 22000022 Santana topped the Billboard album chart with “Shaman”, their fourth US #1 album. It would later be certified Double Platinum by the RIAA on the strength of the singles “The Game of Love” and “Why Don’t You & I”.

22000033 Bobby Hatfield, one-half of the Hall of Fame duo, The Righteous Brothers, died of an apparent heart attack at the age of 63. 22000055 Link Wray, the electric guitar innovator who is often credited as the father of the power chord, died at his home in Copenhagen of natural causes. He was 76. His 1959 instrumental, “Rumble” was banned by many US radio stations, even thought it had no lyrics what so ever. 22000077 The Eagles’ first studio album in 28 years, “Long Road Out Of Eden”, rose to the top of the Billboard Hot 200 chart after selling 711,000 copies in the US during its first week of release. The LP produced two singles on the Hot Country Songs charts: a cover of J.D. Souther’s “How Long” and “Busy Being Fabulous”, both of which were Top 30 hits on the Country charts as well as Top 20 hits on the Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks charts.

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Daryl Hall And John Oates launched a lawsuit against music publisher Warner / Chappell Music in Manhattan Supreme Court, accusing the company of failing to protect the copyright to their 1982 hit “Maneater” after an unidentified singer had used the song in a 2006 recording. 22000099 Michael Jackson’s father, Joe Jackson, filed court papers in Los Angeles requesting an allowance from the estate of his late son, saying the Pop star supported him for years before his death. The 81-year-old’s lawyers said his monthly expenses are $20,000, but he receives only $1,700 from the state. 22001100 Aretha Franklin canceled all of her appearances until next Spring on the advice of her doctors. The 68-year-old Queen Of Soul was released from a Detroit hospital on October 30th after being admitted for undisclosed reasons. Scottish singer Gerry Rafferty was reported to be in grave condition after being admitted to hospital in Bournemouth, England and put on a lifesupport machine while being treated for multi-organ failure. He would rally for a time and it seemed that he might survive and recover, but died on January 4th 2011 of liver failure. 22001111 Andrea True, a Disco star and actress who had Top 40 hits with “More, More, More” (1976) and “N.Y. You Got Me Dancing” (1977), died of undisclosed causes at the age of 68. 22001122 Cleve Duncan, vocalist for The Penguins on their 1955 Billboard #1 hit, “Earth Angel”, passed away at the age of 77.


RRU UM MOOUURR HHAASS IITT… …

law that ban ticket scalping unless it’s authorized by the venue or event operators. Some online ticket sites have partnerships with teams and venues. Republican Rep. TTiim mK Keellllyy of Saginaw Township said he is lining up bipartisan support for his bill. He says it’s a commonsense measure that would let the free market decide the price of a ticket. “An individual who buys a ticket to a sporting event or concert owns that ticket, and they should have every right to sell it if Keellllyy said in a they so choose,” K statement. “This legislation, quite literally, is about allowing the man on the street to sell tickets at fair market value to willing buyers. It creates more fairness while providing some relief to our already overKeellllyy said burdened court system.” K here is no reason for the government to interfere in a transaction between a willing buyer and willing seller. The legislation now goes to a House committee for consideration.

…Everything explodes when the wacky Sycamore family meets the stuffy Kirby family in the muchloved comedy You Can’t Take It with You, which opens on November 19 at the Dorothy Hackett Ward on the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga campus. This Pulitzer prize-winning play by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart is populated with memorably whimsical characters such as an under-talented, but unflappable ballerina, an accidental novelist, a tax-dodging patriarch, a Grand Duchess, who is also a waitress and a bevy of G-men. The play, sponsored by the First Tennessee Foundation, runs from November 19 through November 23. Performances are at 7:30 p.m. with a Saturday matinee at 2 p.m. Tickets are $10 for students and seniors and $12 general admission. …Live Nation Tickets are available at the UTC Entertainment, Ticketmaster and Box Office in the Fine Arts Center fan experience technology compa(423) 425-4269 or online at ticketny Experience are partnering to tracks.com. give fans at thousands of events an improved experience when using …A Michigan lawmaker mobile phones. Experience’s prosays he wants to make it legal to gram tailors options for fans based sell game or concert tickets above on who they are and why they’re face value. Legislation introduced attending an event. Perks such as last week would repeal a 1931 state upgrading seats before and during

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an event, arranging for a team mascot to stop by, gaining access to meet circus performers or take part in VIP meet-and-greets are the popular Centauros brothel in just a few examples of what the Rio De Janeiro with his head covprogram, available now at select ered by a bed sheet to protect his events, will have to offer in 2014. modesty. The singer had reportedly been in the brothel for over …R&B hitmaker TTeeddddyy hours, before he headed RRiilleeyy is suing pop superstar LLaaddyy three back to his hotel with two girls. He GGaaggaa over allegations he has not and his security team were later been paid for his contributions to kicked out of their hotel for breakher song “Teeth”. The BBllaacckkssttrreeeett ing rules, according to local star claims he was promised 25 per sources. cent of the writing fees, but got nothing back for the 2009 track, weerrss of TThhee …BBrraannddoonn FFlloow which featured on her widely K K iilllleerrss has hit out at the state of acclaimed album, The Fame pop music in America, saying the Monster. RRiilleeyy is demanding majority of what he hears is $500,000 in compensation plus “retarded”. In a new interview with punitive damages, according to Kiilllleerrss discussed the The Sun, TThhee K TMZ.com. fact they made a name for themselves in the UK before they were a Att TThhee D Diissccoo’’ss …PPaanniicc!! A in their native US. BBrreennddoonn UUrriiee has revealed that success Drummer RRoonnnniiee VVaannuuccccii said he FFiioonnaa AAppppllee refused to let the band was not surprised at being successsample one of her songs. Speaking ful away from America because he Urriiee said that the to Revolt TV, U feels great music is ignored in the band’s single ‘Miss Jackson’ origicountry. “Breaking in the UK first nally featured a sample of FFiioonnaa great because America is AAppppllee’’ss ‘Every Single Night’, the was retarded musically,” says VVaannuuccccii. opening track from her album The “It’s upside down. There’s so much Idler Wheel…. However, AAppppllee great music that doesn’t get the turned the band down and refused attention. There’s a lot of bullshit to allow her vocal to be used. “She on US radio.’’ Picking up where his was not having it, man, she was so weerrss bandmate led, BBrraannddoonn FFlloow Urriiee. Last bummed on us,” said U added: ‘’I start to wonder, what do Appppllee asked a fan to month, FFiioonnaa A adults listen to? Do they listen to leave her gig in Portland, after what’s being played on the radio? being heckled with a cry of “Get You should listen to something healthy!”. The singer-songwriter that’s for you - not about giving was approaching the end of a your virginity to your boyfriend on career-spanning show at the city’s Saturday night. It is retarded. Every Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall song is that song. And if 40-yearwhen, The Oregonian reports, a fan olds are listening to that rubbish, called out: “Get healthy - we want they’re going to raise kids on it. It’s to see you in 10 years.” This apparnot even music.’’ Appppllee looking “disently left A traught” and prompted her to If you know any truths, half-truths swear at the heckler. or outright lies about the music and club scene, send it to Sissy …JJuussttiinn BBiieebbeerr has Vance c/o rumoursmill@enigmaonreportedly been spotted leaving a line.com. Brazilian brothel. According to the New York Post, the pop brat was - Sissy Vance caught redhanded by their photographers allegedly sneaking out of

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"Twelve Years A Slave" A New Film Report ""II W Waass AAllll SSeett TToo SShhoouutt...... !! I was all set to shout 'ACADEMY AWARD!'-- from just hearing the initial reviews for "TWELVE YEARS A SLAVE". I'd been led to think it was going to be the film that would raise all of our consciousnesses to a level we had never before known. We were going to see a film

Of course, when you come to a film such as this one, you're supposed to be hit with some powerful punches and character interplay that give you more than awful facts. This movie could have been so much more than it was. I saw minor artistry and tiresome sequences. I blame the director for not being able to give us the good

There's Lupita Nyong'o--a sexually beaten, physically battered slave-whose spirit he tries to console; she wants only to die. Yet WHERE do WE connect? It seemed to me the film moved like this: A.) sharp harsh lashings, B.) doing field work/singing, C.) Chiewetel, comforting this slave woman, and D.) deep Chiewetel sufferings... And then again, this progression. There is a small part played by Brad Pitt that stands out with Chiewetel- as these two men slyly develop a true relationship that advances Platt to his freedom. ""FFiillm m NNeeeeddss TThhee DDiirreeccttoorr!!""

about a free black man, birthnamed Solomon Northup, who is kidnapped under false pretences, and soon finds that he is now a slave with a new name, Platt-- far from his native home-Saratoga Springs, New York-and without much of a chance of escaping his fate. If this weren't true, it wouldn't work ""YYoouu''rree SSuuppppoosseedd TToo BBee H Hiitt!!""

actors here-- attached to energized plot movements. Steve McQueen had a great opportunity to use a talented man, Chiewetel Ejiofor, to portray the slave who'd been a violinist. He's a brave man, quite resolved to take the hell of lashings, brutal verbal assaults, and the grimness of family loss for twelve years at the hands of merciless masters. ""YYeett W WHHEERREE DDoo W WEE CCoonnnneecctt??""

It is certainly true that the cruelty scenes spare no relief in assaulting the film viewer's senses. I'm sure it all happened. But what dismayed me was how the effect was without a bit of film-making craft. I don't think folks left the movie with any deep sense of emotional union with the sorrows they had witnessed. People were crushed by the horror they had been shownbut not in the way a story is meant to affect them. It has been said that film needs to have the director's hand to make the whole thing work; whereas a play on stage can allow the actors to rule. I think this film had the right actors all lined up but just had the wrong director. And sadly with that director, the film just failed. My grade therefore is just a FOUR. "Is The Film Worth Seeing?" Is the film worth seeing? It's the kind of story that surely needs to be retold--- if only to show the fortitude of one man. That's maybe worth more than the film.

- Humbler Acts

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1. Paul McCartney 2. Arctic Monkeys 3. Kings Of Leon 4. Arcade Fire 5. Nine Inch Nails 6. Pearl Jam 7. The Avett Brothers 8. Haim 9. Wild Child 10. Deer Tick 11. Of Montreal 12. Civil Wars 13. Elvis Costello and The Roots 14. Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit 15. Polly Scattergood 16. Best Coast 17. Sleigh Bells 18. Echosmith 19. Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. 20. Jack Johnson

ADVENTURE PICKS 1. Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings 2. Young the Giant 3. The Lumineers


America Does Not Need a Progressive Agenda Socialism Is Regressive There is a group which is organized and out in force "Fighting for the Progressive Agenda" which can now be said to be synonymous with socialism, thus, a socialist agenda, and yet most of the social media army and journalist run in lock-step with this "progressive agenda" and are baffled that anyone would dare call it socialism, but indeed, that is what it is, what is that famous quote; "If it looks like a duck and quakes like a duck, it is a duck." Hilary Clinton said at the 10th Anniversary of the Center for American Progress, a progressive (Democrat) group; "I find it hard to believe that we have to keep explaining and educating people over and over again why we need to promote the progressive agenda." But when I heard about that, I was a little blown away, why you ask? Well, it's simple really Socialism and Progressive Policies are not

progressive, they are regressive - because socialism and this progressive agenda has never worked out in the end in any country it has ever been tried. You see, it's not that they have to keep repeating themselves, they don't. We understand exactly what they are talking about, and yet repetition is an interesting thing in the human mind, the more exposure the more easily accepted something becomes. So, they keep repeating themselves and their message, not because conservatives and over 50% of the population isn't listening, it's that we've already heard that line and flatly reject that for the future of America.

need the numbers, and they get those by promising them freestuff, and playing the lower class against the middle, while destroying the middle class in the process. It is my belief that the middle class is getting tired of footing the bill for failed socialist programs; Obama Phones, Food Stamps, ObamaCare, etc. The middle class is getting squeezed and so many families that think they are in it, class aren't actually in the middle class at all anymore. They are mortgaged to the hilt, living on credit card debt, and allowing their children to become economically enslaved through college tuition loans, and get this,

In fact, the message they continue to re-run like a bad Sit Com on TV is truly some low IQ stuff, but indeed, for these elitists to convince the masses to join their ranks, they know they

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their kids are actually paying for their own socialist brainwashing. Isn't that scary, yes it is, and more and more Americans are waking up having been sold a bill of goods, one which no one read before the Congress and Senate voted for it - well, now we know some of what was in it, and people are freaking out, they don't want the socialists to repeat the message, our citizens just want to make them go away before we end up like Argentina, Venezuela, Greece or Spain - or god forbid some of the Arab Spring failed states.

- Lance Winslow



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