Issue 01 JU LY ‘ 0 9
THE PLACE FOR YOUNG TALENTS
RODNEY P & SNAKEYMAN DISCUSS
STEREOTYPES EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEWS WITH
Mi s s L on d o n A FRIKAN BOY
Fo rreduc i
Fashion: Check the swagger SN1 WEAR Shining Heroes & Candy-Bar
Exclusive interview with the “Make It Funky for Me” vocalist www.endz2endz.com
A group of inner city youths have come together from multiple backgrounds and tough areas of London. They met in college while studying and began to bond because they had similar interests and life experiences. Some come from negative lifestyles due to a lack of role models, poverty and a sense of neglect from society. But are now channelling their time into something fun, entertaining and positive by inspiring other youths. Especially ones that have struggled growing up in tough areas and think there’s no way out. The team became good friends and got along well together with creative minds alike and founded Endz 2 Endz. Endz 2 Endz is an urban British e-magazine established in 2008. The magazine is run by young people for young people, which provides a pathway for young talented people in our communities to reach their goals. It is about showcasing young underground and established UK talents and skills.
The magazine is aimed at people from ages 14 through to their 20s, aiming to empower them from quite a young age. One thing that we believe is critical, is the magazine must be young people lead, for young people to relate with each other. We enable youths to be inspired by other youths doing positive things and finding out more on issues going on in and around their communities. We are open to promote and meet anyone interested and willing to support the movement. We aim to work with people who are dedicated, motivated, willing to take their talents to another level and feel like they would like to be a part of what we are about. So feel free to contribute, comment and show Endz 2 Endz and the public what you’re made of.
These include models, writers, fashion designers, poets, musicians, athletes, photographers and many more. We are creating a new era that provides opportunity and at the same time informing readers and giving an insight into what goes on in the society around us. It creates opportunities for those who know they have talent to show the world what they are about. We decided we want to create an ‘online magazine’ that will showcase youths talents no matter what their race, area they’re from or disability they may have-so we do not discriminate in anyway. The magazine will also be looking at social issues which affect the community as a whole and individuals. We will have a topic in every issue that may be very important or has great effect on today’s society.
12Young Voice/Old Voice What My Lifeâ€™s Like? 24 Poetry 26 Photo-Lab 38 48Thoughts of Life 50Monthly Moan 54Nite Out
16African Boy 6Miss London 20Forreduci
To check out more clothing wear from Candy-bar log onto www.candy-bar.co.uk
Q&A Interview Q&AISSUE Interview 1
Miss London is the 20 year old talented comedienne. She explains to Endz 2 Endz her story and why there needs to be a lot more female comediennes to take London by storm. Interview By Tyrone Smiley
E2E: Tell us about the Miss London everyone’s been talking about lately? Miss London: I am a female comedian and I am the princess of comedy. I have just dropped a new funky tune out called ‘Show Me the Blackberry’. E2E: What‘s your real name? Ldn: My name is London. My mum told my dad he can either name me London, or Sonar (after the sonar treatment they did on me when i was a baby) or Nash 1 (after the horse that won the Derby on the day.I was born) and he chose the name London. So I added the Miss and that’s how I got the name Miss London really, plus I am a ‘Miss’. E2E: What part of London were you born? Ldn: I was born in south London, Croydon. E2E: Why didn’t your mum call you Croydon [laughs]? Ldn: [Stops for a pause] So... are you trying to take the piss out of my mum? E2E: I’m just joking... how long have you been a comedienne for? Ldn: I’ve been a comedienne for 6 months since December, really getting into it anyway. E2E: As you’re a female in the comedy scene... which is quite rare. Do you think there’s enough support for females in the comedy scene today?
Ldn: Yes and No, because there are not a lot of female comedians out there, so our fan base isn’t as big as it should be. There are so many up-andcoming male comedians these days but there’s no female the same age as me doing what I’m doing, so the support is not that wide, I appeal to quite a few people but I reckon if there were a lot more female comedians we would have a bigger fan base generated between all of us.
E2E: What where you doing before you were a comedian? Ldn: I was a dancer and I was studying at uni... I was doing a bit of the dutty wine and splits. [laughs] E2E: Is it true you use to be part of a group called ‘Funkstarz’? Ldn: [Looking shocked] Yeah… [laughing] It looks like you done some good research.
“I was in a dance group called ‘Funkstarz” I was in a dance group called ‘Funkstarz’ for a town called Brighton and Hove, first ever hip-hop dance group and we were really good. They are still going on now so big up all the ‘Funkstarz’ because they are heavy and I was heavy and I’m still heavy. E2E: I remember when I use to see you in Moam Films? Ldn: Yeah... I use to be a model for Moam films, they’re the people who did the video for Aggro’s ‘Free yard’. I use to be a model called ‘Diamond Dionne’
E2E: You know I got a free yard too. [Laughing] Ldn: Oh... be quiet! E2E: If Aggro can do it, why can’t I do it? I pay rent so I always got a free yard... [Laughing] So Miss London, if you weren’t doing comedy what do you think you would be doing now? Ldn: I will probably be working somewhere [laughing]. I was working at TGI Fridays this time last year and I was on Channel U hosting a show called Boyd. Then I got sacked from TGI Fridays. I didn’t know what to do with myself; then I became a comedian luckily, so it was all good. E2E: What inspired you to become a comedienne? And how do you manage to come up with so many jokes? Ldn: I’m naturally quite funny firstly and I think really ugly people. You know when you diss ugly people it makes other people laugh. One time, I went to a comedy show at the Sunday Show and there was this comedian who was making the crowd laugh-he was killing them. But, I was getting all of his jokes before he said it. So, I was thinking if I can think of them jokes myself and the crowd are laughing, I thought if I done it with my own twist the crowd would be laughing as well. That’s what inspired me. E2E: Tell us more about the Sunday Show? Ldn: The Sunday Show, hosted by comedians called Jamie Howard and Little Man. I used to come and just watch. I was a groupie in the audience who sat there, made noise and watched performances. So one day I was there and saw this comedian, making jokes and people were cracking. So, I went home, wrote out some material and did it at a talent show two weeks later and smashed it up. I did it again that same week at the Sunday Show, smashed it up then as well, I really made the people laugh. Then they decided to offer me a job at the Sunday Show which was cool. E2E: So you been presenting at the Sunday Show since December? Ldn: No, November actually, I weren’t really a comedienne I was a little game show host but now I’m a fully fledged comedienne-you are not a fully fledged comedian until you have a bad show and I have had a bad show once…
E2E: What gave you the idea to come up with the tune ‘Show Me the Blackberry’? Ldn: [Flashing her Blackberry] I was dissing funky house, I was doing a set at the Sunday show and I was saying funky house is dead. Anyone can make a funky house tune. I was like Migraine Skank doesn’t make any sense. I said, ‘if you had a migraine would you jump in the middle and skank or would you sit down in the corner an have a two piece of paracetamol and rest yourself?’ That makes no sense. So, you know what, I did my own track, I just thought of ‘Show Me the Blackberry’ and did just the chorus. Then ‘Top Boy’ approached me after that and wanted to make my tune big. E2E: So what are you trying to say with ‘Show Me the Blackberry’
“Im trying to say if you ain’t got a pin it’s a Facebook ting.” Ldn: I’m trying to say if you ain’t got a ‘pin’ it’s a Facebook ting [laughing]. [The joke is, I showed her the Nokia and still got her phone number. Stay in tune for the part two ‘ Show Me the Nokia’] E2E: So what have you got up your sleeves for the future? Ldn: I got loads of shows. I got a show with Richard Blackwood, Slim, Kat from MTV base, that’s called ‘ Comedy Factory’ and that’s in Ealing. I got a show-coming up in Herefordshire. I got a show coming up in Manchester. I’m all over the country but if you really want to see me come to Sunday show every Sunday. I host there with Jamie Howard and Little Man in Soho on Wardour Street just after Shaftesbury Avenue. So, yeah it’s a good look and £10 to get in. 7:30pm to 10:30pm. E2E: What do you think of the E2E movement? Ldn: I think it is a good movement, I think it is stupid, all that ‘what endz you rep’. I should be allowed to walk through any endz, It’s about time we all come together. So yeah I like the way you combined the endz. So big up ‘Endz 2 Endz’ it’s a great movement. To contact Miss London Facebook: Miss-London Comedienne
Still Number One FOR MORE CLOTHES GO TO THE SN1 WEAR SHOP: UNIT 24, AGORA INDOOR MARKET, PECKHAM LONDON, SE15 5BY OR FOR MORE INFO EMAIL: SN1WEAR@YAHOO.COM
“I hope everyone reading this knows the phrase
‘Never judge a book by its cover’.
It is a phrase people should
really take on board.”
eople out there know Endz 2 Endz is not one to bore you with dry topics, but we do inform you about what is important right now and what matters. That’s why we have decided to talk about and explore ‘Stereotypes’ in this issue. Aren’t you just fed up of constantly being stereotyped into a group that does not represent you as a person? I’m sure many of you can relate. This is for everyone to understand what stereotyping is, its effects, why we do it and who gets it the most. This will help our communities, society as a whole and most importantly you, the readers.
what are stereotype’s? Stereotype is one of those words that is not used everyday but it is always around us and we never really get down to understanding why it is so common to human nature. The word is used with a negative meaning when referring to an assumption and can be used to reject people's respect based on their relation to a particular group. Stereotypes are general opinions on groups rather than individual judgements, which is another form of prejudice. It is when someone gives someone a label that does not solely represent them as a person but as a group or broader view.
believe that youths get it the most in our community today, especially by the adults and the media. This is because when we walk down the street, adults cross the road when they see us walking towards them or people look at us funny because they believe that we are worthless and cannot achieve anything. They have a general assumption of us as dangerous rebels and underachievers based on what they see and hear about youths in the news or the papers all the time. Youths get a great deal of bad publicity and inaccurate labelling and judgement, putting them at the centre of negative media. It's no wonder why youths today act on the labels they have been given by the media.
Youths get stereotyped do so many as: bingers, promiscuous, knife and gun people stereotype? wielders, criminals, hoodies, vandals, Is it just part of the human mind rebels, thugs, that we do it without noticing? commiting blackThis is probably because stereon -black crime, otyping is an issue that has been etc. This is a around for so many years and a bad deal because problem because so many peonot all youths ple - if not everyone - does it. fall under these Stereotyping usually has negative labels and when effects on people like reducing people begin to do someones confidence and belief in this it takes a toll on our themselves. Reasons why people community. But when you've stereotype include: age, ethnicity, been called a name over and socio-economic class, disability, over, it's easy to believe it's true appearance, occupation, religion, and act upon it. Young people race and gender. All of these begin to believe the stereotypes groups can get labelled. Stereotyp- about them and act out the negaing has been around for so long, tive behaviours more, believing it's almost an unconscious part that’s how they should be because of the human mind to put peothat's how society views them. ple into catergories. Doing this is Don’t you ask yourselves, "Why crucial to us as people because it are we continuously being put into helps us to simplify and organize these groups, when there are so things around us. Passing on gen- many other groups we could be eral group characteristics to peoput into? Like musicians, athletes, ple in that group saves time and young entrepreneurs, actors..." energy which most of us want, easier route. Stereotyping can have more serious impacts on an individual than In society today, many youths and you might imagine. When we people in our communities are al- stereotype, we hardly think about ways being stereotyped, mainly by how it may affect the person on the media. As young people, we
the receiving end. The effects vary, but are generally negative and not always obvious until a later date. Stereotyping reminds people being judged of how society, sees them, making them have a resentment towards society, which makes them act out. This makes a reason for people-and espeicially the youths-to not get along with society and leads them to commit crimes as a means of acting out. I hope, everyone reading this knows the phrase ‘Never judge a book by its cover’. it is a phrase people should really take on board. You cannot judge someone if you have not sat down to understand his or her feelings, thoughts and beliefs. All of us will either have been stereotyped before or stereotyped others subconsciously. This needs to stop because we are causing harm to those that are victims of stereotyping and impacting negatively on their lives without us even knowing. Don’t be the reason that a person, a community, or a society begins to lose belief in their ability to make themselves better. To explore more about stereotypes in this issue we have artists Rodney P and Snakey Man talking on the subject and their experiences on being stereotyped. Let us know what YOU think about Stereotypes on our website in our forum section
Arnold Oceng aka Snakey Man, a young Actor/MC from Brixton. He has acted in Grange Hill, Casualty, Holby City, The Bill and starred in the movie Adulthood. He gives us his view on Stereotypes and how it affects him in and outside of the industry.
Interview by Dennis Gyamfi
Young Voice Old Voice ISSUE 1 Voice Young Voice Old
Endz 2 Endz: How does stereotyping affect you? Snakey Man: I get stereotyped because of the general view people have of young black males from inner city areas. People look at me funny and usually don’t expect much from me. I don’t know if it is because of the way I walk, the way I look... but it’s embarrassing. E2E: Is it only people like yourself that get stereotyped , or is it others as well? SM: No, it’s everybody. Whether it’s gender, sexuality, race, appearance… everything. People judge people before they’ve met them and rather stereotype someone because it’s the general view. E2E: What’s stereotyping like when you’re in the industry? SM: When I started out, I was usually the ‘odd one out’ because I was black. One time, I was on set and had just finished filming a scene from Grange Hill. The director said ‘Cut’ and I ran to the changing rooms because I had to get home to do something. As I was running back, one of the guys said, “Oh Arnie, where you running to?” I said, “I’m just going to get my stuff.” Then he said, “Don’t run down the road and mug anyone,” in a jokey way but still a stereotypical joke. I felt people were taking me for something else but I try not to take it too serious. E2E: Do you think this issue has improved in our society today? SM: I don’t experience it as much, maybe because I’m getting older and I’m a cool guy. People are getting accepted more and things are growing, in terms of movies, music, fashion. It’s a progressive change. We’ve got many young people coming from areas like mine, making good music who are getting signed by majors. That shows that stereotyping is fading gradually. E2E: What advice would you give someone losing belief in themselves because they’re getting stereotyped? SM: Be different, study whatever it is you want to get into. Be confident, be yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, overlook stereotyping and step above it. To contact Snakeyman:
A legend in UK hip hop and Dub Plate Drama presenter talks to Endz 2 Endz and tells us about stereotyping. How it affects him and how he isn’t going to let the simple-minded people stop his progress. Endz 2 Endz: In the media today they like to point the finger and a lot of stereotypes get pushed around. What do you think of stereotypes?
E2E: Have you ever been stereotyped before?
Interview by Tyrone Smiley
Rodney P: Stereotyping is something we always have to live with, it’s a human thing. Black people in England know more about it than most. We have to fight against stereotype’s and try and take the wider view. That’s what helps me get through. You play a fool to get wise.
RP: Yeah often, of course. I’m from an area called Battersea: it’s a rough diamond, nice area, rough edges. I walk down Lavender Hill - the same road I’ve been walking down for the last 20 years - and a white woman will hold onto her bag tight as if I am going to rob her. That is stereotyping. But I’m a grown man so I can work around that: I never let the simple-minded block my progress. E2E: Do you think kids getting stereotyped in the media affects them mentally? RP: If you keep telling someone they are a bad person, they’ll become a bad person. If you tell a whole generation of kids that there’s nothing in life for them, then that’s what they grow up believing and that’s a problem. We need to start telling the youths that there’s a lot out here for them. We have to support and promote the youths. E2E: So what words of inspiration can you give to people who are affected by stereotypes? RP: I don’t have a gold-plated answer to that. But what I do know about, is self-motivation. Recognise what you are worth, because you are worth a lot, your value is high. E2E: Endz 2 Endz aim to showcase young underground and established talents around the UK to create a networking society, what do you think of this movement? RP: I think Endz 2 Endz is a good idea: it is about time the youth start thinking bigger than the end of their road. Come on! When we connect, when we build and when we start making things happen, the future will be bright. If we stay on our one corner, with each individual separated by post codes, nothing is going to happen. To contact Rodney P: Myspace: www.myspace.com/riddimkilla
www.shiningheroes.wordpress.com Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Endz 2 Endz meets up with Afrikan Boy, the unique entertainer. The boy with a twist of flavour from South London shows us the deal and gets talking.
Endz 2 Endz: Can you introduce yourself? Afrikan Boy: I am Afrikan Boy, ‘Eba eater... Mr. International [laughs]. E2E: What‘s your talent? AB: I am a rapper/entertainer. E2E: When did it all begin for you? AB: Well it started when I was about 10, writing lyrics. I started out as a Grime MC. As I started to develop, I deviated away from Grime. My African persona started when I was around 14: I thought if I am going to start writing lyrics, I need to be different. So I thought what’s true to me and different at the same time? And that’s how it all came about. E2E: What inspired you to be an entertainer? AB: My school friend Myra, I remember he started writing lyrics so I also decided to start writing. Then another friend called Oki, Drastic from K Sounds; me and him started to write lyrics. But as I started developing as an artist, people like Shino Peters, Fela Kuti… E2E: …Wait, wait for the people out there who don’t know about these guys … explain AB: These guys are like the Nigerian superstars. Shino Peters is an African musician; Fela Kuti is an African superstar. The African version of Bob Marley, I never used to listen to rap, I never really liked it back then. It was Grime, so in the early days when radio stations were big, it was people like Kano, Dizzy, Nasty Crew, all those guys were my main influences when I started writing. But recently as I have developed people like Santigold, MIA, Jay Z, Lil Wayne, Buraka som Sistema and other African artists have all influenced me now, as my music has changed from Grime to what it is now. E2E: What’s your take on the music industry right now? AB: The UK industry right now is strong, it’s healthy and it’s vibrant. I mean you’ve got people like Estelle, who has broken through in the US. People like Sway doing big things and Tinchy Stryder who has been doing music for a long time and now, blowing up with consecutive hits.
Interview by Seun Oginni
Q&AInterview Interview Q&A
Really and truly it is a good look right now. I think everyone always says that the US is always in control. But UK is definitely blowing up right now. E2E: What sort of message do you want to send out through your music? AB: Firstly, the main motivation behind me and my music is that my whole family listens to my music. So for me I have to be very careful of the things I say and portray. And when I take it to my name, I’ve got a whole continent in it...Africa. So I have got to be very careful of how I portray things...make sure I’m not portraying a negative image. With me I am a positive person; I came from a harsh area but I choose not to rap about those things. I choose to rap about different issues, issues that might be going on in Africa or around the world.
“I have a positive message in my lyrics but when you make people laugh they don’t take things too serious
I love to make people laugh so sometimes I might drop a bit of a comedy in my music. I have a positive message in my lyrics, but when you make people laugh they don’t take things too serious. E2E: If you were not doing what you do right now, what would you be doing…eating eba? AB: [Laughs] Well I’d probably be still in university which I am now – studying psychology and sociology. E2E: Do you think there are enough role models out there to inspire the youth? AB: There are a lot of role models; we now have Barack Obama for one, but I truly believe it depends what individuals look for. Some people will see 50 Cent, as a gangster, a bad man and think I want to be like him. But others may look at him as an entrepreneur and want that. E2E: What made you choose the name Afrikan boy? AB: I went through a lot of names when I was younger; I used to call myself ‘Links Man’, ‘Younger Smiles’, just loads of names. But Afrikan Boy officially came along when I was about 16 years old. As I began writing more lyrics my name changed with it, mainly because I’m from Africa and because of the way I rap. [African connotation] so it just fits my image. People ask; ‘Why didn’t you name yourself Nigerian Boy… but I just thought it didn’t sound right. My name doesn’t mean I know everything about Africa; I’m just literally an African boy. E2E: Everyone who knows you; knows that you are one of a kind. For people out there who are afraid to be different, what advice could you give them? AB: That’s what sells, let me pick out a few artists like Kanye West, who is just himself, different, some may say weird at times but that’s what makes him so successful to me. Look at MIA, a very good friend of mine. If you listen to her music, a lot of people may not understand because she is not the normal artist but she still has a strong fan base.
Q&A Interview Q&A Interview ISSUE 1
Everybody is looking for someone different and so is the music industry. It gets boring when you have the same type of artist or person coming through all the time. Just be yourself, you can’t be anything better than being yourself. E2E: What would you say to someone out there trying to get into the music scene? AB: First, have a backup plan, whether it is getting a work placement or going to university. Music is very up and down, you don’t know what’s going to be hot or what’s not. Very important, be yourself, you could even have a mentor - because if you have someone beside you, they could guide and advise. Finally, just ask yourself “Do I really want to get into this business? because if you do then you can really make it happen. There is a star within everyone, you just need to find out what it is and use it to your best ability. E2E: What should we expect from you in the near future? AB: ‘The Rise of Caps in Africa, my first official compilation CD, look out for it. A single called ‘Lagos Town’, which I shot a video for, is going to be all over your TVs so look out for that. But mainly it’s touring for me; I’m going America and Europe. I’m just working hard, getting my name out there. E2E: What do you think about Endz 2 Endz? AB: I think it’s a good look, people coming together to do positive things and doing what they love. Clothing lines, musicians, different websites, comedians and entrepreneurs. It’s a positive vibe that others should follow. So I’m definitely behind Endz 2 Endz all the way. Keep doing your thing. People out there just try and be positive, find your own art... don’t look at Endz 2 Endz now and try to make your own ‘Road 2 Road’ or ‘Street 2 Street’... find your own art; create it, develop it and blow with it. To contact Afrikan Boy: Myspace: www.myspace.com/afrikanboy
Interview by Seun Oginni
Q&A Interview ISSUE 1
UK got Swagger ? The name Forreduci may ring a bell, Endz 2 Endz got an exclusive interview... finding out why Forreduci is original , emotional with a touch of swagger...
Endz 2 Endz: How did the name forreduci come about? Forreduci: Well, that there is a bit unexplainable, you can tell by the name it’s not something that you can sit down and think about. It was something from up above you could say, the name just popped into my head and as you can see it was meant to be. [laughs] E2E: What inspired you to start your clothing brand? FRD: First, I’m in this because I love fashion and I want the UK to have flavour when it comes to setting trends and wearing clothes... In the UK there was not much that you could really wear and feel like you’re wearing decent clothes or brands that someone from the streets had made. There was a big gap in the market and we thought we should fill that gap with quality, trendy, urban clothes for everyone, that was the main inspiration. E2E: Explain why forreduci seperates itself from other lines? FRD: Forreduci is unique because we bring quality, we set trends and we are not afraid to try new styles, designs and play about with colours. We are confident in what we want and are not afraid to be different. The clothing line is a product of its environment because in the area I grew up everyone’s different and original in some way: from the way we wear our clothes to the way we do things. E2E: I heard about the official sale days, what are they about? FRD: The sale days are when we give back to the community and the people that support us because they are very important to us. When you come to the sale days, you get a feel for the Forreduci lifestyle; there’s a buzz, people are happy, lively and having a good time. It is for the benefit of our customers where people can come along; buy Forreduci wear for a decent price.
E2E: Some of your clothes say forredcui & some say frd, is there a difference between the two? FRD: Forreduci is not one brand anymore, there are different lines now. There's the main everyday clothes which is what most people know and are used to, Forreduci. Then there is the limited edition collection, FRD and when this comes out the products are not going to last long and when these are finished there is no coming back. If you don’t get your hands on that you can’t get it again. E2E: Can you explain the forreduci character you have on your clothes? FRD: That little man is Forreduci [laughs]... He is the one that runs things. People think I’m Forreduci -- No, he is. He runs me; the boss -- the real representative of Forreduci. He is not a gimmick; he is real. E2E: Forreduci is all over London right now, how did it become so well known? FRD: It’s a good look and I would say the brand pushed itself out there. It is not just a South London thing, we are doing this for the whole of London, the UK, for everyone. There's a variety and range of products that we produce so everyone is sure to find something they like. We cater for different races, cultures, areas, sizes… anything. That is why you might see us everywhere and spreading because that is the aim. E2E: Tell us about the ‘forreduci mixtape’ and the artists on it? FRD: The ‘Forreduci Mixtape’ was hosted by Mr Play, Play Entertainment, that’s my good friend. The way it came about is I was hearing a lot of tunes from various artists talking about Forreduci in their lyrics. So we decided we might as well put those tunes together and release it as a mixtape. A couple of artists that I can think of right now are Lethal B, Giggs, Tinchy Stryder, Jammer, Nasty, Astar, SAS, Sincere and many others. But go and buy the mixtape and you can find out the rest, it’s on the website... big mixtape. E2E: Do you think there are enough platforms out there for young people to show off talents and skills? FRD: No, but I would say it is getting better, no doubt. But only recently -- because when we started there was nothing out there to showcase what we had to offer; no one to holler at and not many places to network.
E2E: What advice would you give youths that are trying to do something positive and showcase their talent? FRD: First, people need to put their heart where their mind is, understand that nothing is going to happen over night. I’ve got some words that I use and apply to my life everyday. It is what motivates me and I thought I'd share them with everyone. They are perseverance, patience, knowledge, application, motivation, diversity and the most important to me is God. Make sure he is part of what you do, make him one of your partners. Use these as a guideline and I guarantee you will reach your goals. E2E: Give us three words to describe forreduci clothing? FRD: Original, Emotional, Swagger E2E: For the people out there that don’t know what ‘emotional’ and ‘swagger’ means, can you explain? FRD: [Laughs] I say ‘Emotional’ because when you see our clothes you will definitely catch a feeling. It’s either you love it or hate it and hating it is a feeling, but rarely happens to be honest. What I mean by ‘Swagger’ is that it gives you a sense of good dressing, when you wear our products you feel like you’re wearing something that is not even from the UK. You feel like you’re wearing something that already has a lifestyle. Forreduci gives you a confidence that you normally wouldn’t have. E2E: What has forreduci got planned for the future? FRD: We have a lot of plans, this is a big movement. It is not only going to be clothes. We have the official store coming soon, more sale days and other things that I can’t get into at the moment, don’t want to spoil the surprise. [laughs] E2E: Any shout outs? FRD: Big up Giggs -- not only on a business level but he is a good friend of mine, he supports us a lot. Shout out Fem Felon, J Soze and everyone that supports the movement. That’s what it is about -supporting each other. Just big up to everyone doing their thing out there. If you would like to find out why the streets are feeling the flavour of Forreduci wear:
Check out: www.forreduci.co.uk or www. myspace.com/forreduci
WHAT MY LIFE’S LIKE What My Life’s Like
'Growing up in the streets of South London made me who I am today'. Young person describes how it feels being in his shoes, coming from a tough area.
his is an article to give a to TERRITORIAL issues which clearer view of how it feels for changed my view of life. a black YOUTH growing up From this, I learned that life is not in a tough area a joke and can of LONDON. I end at any time. am a 19 year old This period was from PECKHAM painful for and have lived a lot of FRIENDS, Everytime I step here most of my FAMILY and the life. I have found CITY as a whole out of my house I feel the living in this area because so many a TOUGH journey young lives were tension in the air, like a because naturally taken for nothing. coming from an It makes you boxing ring or a battlefield... realise that it is INNER CITY BACKROUND not worth it as brings many so many hidden struggles. I have loved living here talents and human lives were cut because I grew up here but feel short, not knowing what they could people outside of this sort of area have become. need to put themselves in our Unfortunately things like this have shoes to know how we feel, in made young people like myself very order to understand us better. STRONG without noticing, because we have been through so much NOWADAYS… My SURROUNDINGS heartache but still cope and carry always seem dark and gloomy. This on. This strength can be used to begins to affect a person; from the do so many great things like what I way they talk, to the way they look am trying to pursue now. I want to and walk because humans can only be a role model for youths, become ADAPT to what they always see a great speaker and leader. and hear. Every time I step out of my house I still have to live regardless of I feel the tension in the air, like what goes on, so I try to carry on a boxing ring or a battlefield. My as normal, hoping I can live to see unconscious actions tell me that I next week, even just tomorrow. am living in PARANOIA as I am Surprisingly, this begins to feel like always looking over my shoulder. the norm but it’s not. At times it This is the reality I live in. Many feels like I have to live each day people I know have been robbed of like it was my last because, like their SHORT LIVES-some younger they say ‘tomorrow is not promised than others-but still too young to to nobody’. Perhaps ‘Life’ should die. From the 27 youths that died bear a new name: SURVIVAL. from a stab or gunshot wound in I’ve become more street wise, and 2007, I knew 3 of them and 2 have gained a greater sense of others went to my college. Also paranoia. I trust fewer people than in 2008 I lost another friend, due I normally would and have a frown
on my face from the PAIN and ANGER. Life becomes like a JUNGLE or a TEST, that you have to get through and to do this you need to pay careful attention and adapt. BACK IN THE DAYS... A few years back, ‘Life’ seemed so fun, it felt like the best thing that ever happened to me. There is a huge CONTRAST between the old-school days and what it is like now. The air felt fresh and clear, you could breathe easier, go places easier and have fun more. Home was so boring so I loved to go out; loved to have a laugh; chill at friends' houses; play the latest games; listen to the latest music; go to the youth club; chat about everything under the sun. I was living a normal teenager's life. I would go out freely, nearly everyday, staying out late because I wanted to hang with my friends because it was fun. There were always smiles, people laughing and getting along fine. It felt like a family even though others would call it a gang. I felt secure and happy. Friends cared and looked out for each other. A gang could be a group of people gathered either doing GOOD or BAD and I believe there is nothing wrong in being in a gang as long as you understand the balance between the two types. Part of ADAPTING to our surroundings was to sell DRUGS because the older guys had nice cars, girls and could always afford to eat some good food and at times buy other people food. This gave us some inspiration because of the 'glamour' and 'fame.' At the
unpleasant. Friends began getting arrested, locked up, mistreated by police, some began getting hurt and dying which sucks you deeper into the trap. Friends fell victim to BETRAYAL and JEALOUSY, So it made so-called friends fall out. Things were not the same anymore. I got ARRESTED for a stupid CRIME I committed for money and because I was angry at the time due to family issues. I was put on a CURFEW by the police and had to be indoors by 7.00pm everyday for 5 months. I was eventually found GUILTY but luckily avoided going to jail but had to do a lot of hours for community service which was painful, stressful and boring.
time everyone wanted to have a piece of that. The older lot were like father figures to us, and also helped us out. Many of my friends and I had bad relationships with our parent(s) due to a lack of understanding and reasoning. Many of my friends' dads were nowhere to be seen, so a lot of us felt our FAMILY was the gang. Personally, I always had a rocky RELATIONSHIP with my DAD - I did not feel like he was always there for me. At times, I now think he isn’t such a bad guy; but he didn’t know how to show his love or how to handle me. POVERTY is a big factor in the crime, gangs and drugs which my friends and I went through. I began to smoke weed, because I felt it would calm my stress. It was a chance to get away from the normal crap life I felt I had. When you STRUGGLE to pay for things like food, it takes a toll. Being in a gang you feel like you belong to something and people acknowledge you rather than
While I was on curfew, it felt like hell because I was so limited in the number of things I could do. But this bad experience brought out the POSITIVE side in me because while I was on curfew, I used to sit at home and think of different IDEAS and draw because I was always good at art. So I came up with a design that I thought would look great on a t-shirt and began to think more positively and of ways to make legit money because selling drugs always got you nicked.
being a nobody and getting picked on like some did. My parents could not always buy the things I wanted so I felt it was in my hands to get those things myself. Stop and searches were on an increase in my area and I believe the best the police mostly approached us Once a police officer negatively so we never used to get told me and my friends she along. Once a police officer told me and my friends was happy to see us hurting she was happy to see us hurting and killing each other... and KILLING each other… as it makes the POLICE’S job much easier.
Since then I've hated the police and have lost respect and trust in them. This made young people like myself want to cause more damage to our society to make the police's job much harder. I know not all police are the same but the majority of the ones we came across were nasty, forceful and
way out is to find a talent or hobby you love, build on it, practice and find ways of making money from it (e.g. music, fashion, comedy). I am now on a positive path and want to help my community, opening up opportunities to youths to break this vicious cycle. My past is what made me, so I wouldn't change a thing because I've learned from my mistakes, and wouldn’t mind getting a bit of the old school days back, when life seemed much more fun.
... THATS WHAT MY LIFE’S LIKE.
When will it end?
Who gave you the right to end something you didn’t start, The years of struggle vs. success you had no part, Now you’ve stepped in and ruined a mother’s art, Took the life of a loved one, stopped his heart, With that gun or that knife you took more than one life,a son, a dad, Who knows what title he had You put one to the grave but his family remain emotionally enslaved, Who gave you the right to cause that pain, heartache, drive others insane, Now that he’s gone what happens now, normal life you wish to live, but how, How long could one hide, No matter how cold you are you must feel the pain inside, You may escape the law, but how long will this last, And even if you fool them, how long till you get a blast from the past, A hurt one who seeks revenge, Willing to put an end to the same thing that was the cause, you took a life but how long till someone takes yours???
Falling Why can’t I concentrate, I’ve had enough sleep, so why is my thought patterns going so deep, I just don’t have a clue, why my bodies here my spirit with you, My mind and heart are battling for what’s right and what’s wrong, While keeping my spirit trapped for what it yerns for so long, My spirit is the victim in this complex triangle relationship, A spirit so free, yet lives under a dictatorship, I try and try I really I am trying But I am in so deep now, what’s the point of denying, That my wounded heart is bleeding and crying, for what my mind is secretly hiding, Which leads the impeding fate of my spirit slowly dying. Why the hell am I so composed when I feel so damn lost inside, when both my mind and body relies on my spirit which it can not find. The loneliness makes me so cold and empty when your not here, plus the frost and the mist makes it so hard to see clear,
(R.I.P, all da fallen soldiers) Yvonne Lynch,23
But nothing shall ever compare to the impending fear, of the if and could we both persevere, That what if a paradox suddenly shall appear that the further we get the more we get near. By Nicole,18
A Love - Hate Relationship
Stereotypes My road is plantation With drugs and prostitution in heavy manifestation Day To Day there’s vicious cycle forever rotating Government promises go no further than conversation I feel am losing patience Especially when we identify the older generation It’s not only the youth of today that need saving Everything around me needs changing What’s most intimidating? Is getting stopped and searched, made to feel worse? Publicly identified and stereotyped As if the colour of your skin bears a criminal mind Living in age where the cost of life and death is just as high How far will I go to live nice? I try to stay positive with this the heart of mine Because I know doing crime in the long run could cost me my life Who’s to say that the good die young? If so, then why is it they say the strong survive? Reality is an image I’m still trying to frame The media only portray what they want you to see Built around negativity, lifestyles of celebrities When what’s really positive only where to know It’s like the truth’s a mystery that never gets resolved In school there’s things you’re taught In life there’s things you learn Education starts at home, put your mind to work. By Daniel Oduja,19
I hate the fact that when we kiss my knees decide to go weak, I hate the fact I feel so deep when it’s just only been a week I hate the fact I feel I have to check up on you every day, I hate the fact that I wouldn’t complain because I wouldn’t have it any other way I hate the fact that I couldn’t ever lie if I was to gaze into your eyes, Or the fact that I couldn’t never really hate you, even if I was to try I hate the fact that I miss you whenever we say good bye, Because you unwittingly moist me up when I am supposed to be Mr Bad Guy I hate the fact that if I sensed that you were in any sort of dismay, That I would rush to be at your side without a moments delay I hate the fact for the first time ever I am actually thinking about Valentine’s Day, While sweating myself thinking how am I going to pay for this bouquet? I hate the fact you caught me slipping because of my emotions, I am not the one to display, So instead I am writing a poem making Mr hard feel like Mr soft I hate the fact that while writing this poem I feel like I am writing an essay, But as long as this gets the point across I guess in the end this is okay I hate the way you caught me by surprise and just interrupted my life out of the blue, Because how or why we didn’t meet before I don’t really have a clue But one thing I can be sure, and I only say this because this is true, That I feel I have to look brand before I decide to come see you. By Cj,20
Mysterious diary Mysterious ISSUEDiary 1
Should I Smoke...
Dear Diary, 22nd May 2009: I have a major problem I thought I would not be one of those people who would get addicted or take up this habit. I see myself as a strong athlete who has great ambition to participate in the 2012 Olympics. My food pattern and foods I eat are quite healthy, I exercise regularly and keep fit but the only bad health problem I have is... smoking weed.
23rd May 2009: I did not have any intentions of smoking initially but I started smoking when the stress of college work caught up with me and also keeping up with running at the same time. Some of my friends smoke and I usually don’t smoke with them, but this one time when I was chilling with them, I just felt like taking a little ‘pull’ (drag) to release my stress. My friends did try to stop me because they did not want to spoil my chance to run in the Olympics. I did not care or listen I just wanted to release my stress. 26th May 2009: Some people told me smoking releases their stress, so I thought of taking a smoke to release mine. I’m not going to lie, it did feel quite good and I did sort of forget my problems. I felt more relaxed but the only bad thing about this habit is that I am now addicted, when I have problems I just go for a smoke and I have been smoking for a month now. I think I need to stop if I really think my dream of participating in 2012 Olympics is going to come true. I need to stop now before I mess up my dream... I need some help ASAP... (Name has been changed to protect privacy)
Does this sound familiar or are you going through a similar situation to James… if so check out the link below for help.
Ask Frank Website: www.talktofrank.com Telephone Helpline 0800 776 600 I’m sure most of you out there have heard of Frank, who helps with drugs. Frank provides info and articles which could give James and anyone else some leading advice on how to stop smoking.
Am I Ugly...
Dear Diary, 3rd June 2009: I feel like I have no real friends… every day people call me names. The people I call my friends smile when they see me but then stab me in the back. Why do they hang around me? They’re just using me because my Dad has a good job and we have money.
4th June 2009: Why was I born? Why didn't I come out good-looking like my big sister? She’s so pretty and kind hearted. She makes me feel special but she can’t be with me so much anymore, now that she’s had my beautiful baby niece… no time to listen to my troubles. My sister says that beauty is more than skin deep, but that’s not how I feel. I’ll never be a beautiful Hollywood movie star… I’ll probably just become one of those lonely women who reads articles in magazines about everyone else enjoying their lives.
G N O O H C ING T
6th June 2009: I know a lot of girls who have boyfriends and get loads of attention. The only attention I get other than from family is from my cat. Those girls are pretty or have nice bodies but I don’t have either. My figure’s more like a boy’s; flat-chested, no curves. I dream of looking like one of those models. Mum says I'm still developing but other girls in my class already look like women. Every time I look in the mirror or see photos of myself I wonder: am I paranoid, insecure, childish – or am I just plain ugly? Help me... (Na
(Name has been changed to protect privacy)
Does this sound familiar or are you going through a similar situation to Stephanie… if so check out the link below for help.
Support Line Website: www.supportline.org.uk Telephone Helpline 01708 765 200 SupportLine provides info and articles which could give Stephanie and anyone else some leading advice on how to boost your confidence and self-esteem.
Q&A Interview www.endz2endz.com
Interview By Tyrone Smiley
Endz 2 Endz linked up with the vocalist of “Make it funky for me”. Shea Soul tell’s us how music became part of her life. Endz 2 Endz: Can you introduce yourself? Shea Soul: I am Shea Soul, I am a singer, songwriter and have been singing for a while now. I’ve got a few tracks that I have done in the past and I’m sure you’re going to be hearing more about me. Most people are familiar with the famous track I featured on, the new funky tune with Attacca Pesante, ‘Make It Funky For Me’. I also have a lot of tracks lined up, coming out soon.
with the other pupils. So I’ve been making songs for a while now, it‘s a passion. It was a dream of mine to become a singer. I’ve never been somebody who you will see sing and they are very confident, I’ve always been a bit shy. I was terrified of going on stage and performing, but as soon as I’m on there I love the sensation and I think it was that whole sensation that drove me to think that I have to do this. E2E: Who or what inspires you to make music and be who you are today?
E2E: Where did you get the name Shea Soul from, how did that come about?
Shea: That’s difficult to say because I never used to think about Soulful music or artists, I just wanted to sing. As time went by I found music that I preferred Shea: Shea is my actual name. It was my brother who started ‘Soul’. He kept calling me Shea Soul, as singing, what was right for me and that I really got into. I guess it was a nickname. Telling people my name is Shea Soul, he set up various things for me with Shea Soul like my myspace, hotmail... Then I put out some tracks, soulful house tracks and it said featuring Shea Soul People like Michael Jackson (R.I.P), I on a few of them and I was like ‘what the hell... but was mad into him when I was a kid but then I just thought Shea Soul... that’s me, cool. If you want to call me it, I’ll be it, sounds nice. it was’nt so Soulful it was more like the
E2E: When did you first start making music? Shea: Well… I’ve sung for like forever, when I was a little kid I used to write silly, little songs. I used to make songs for my little brothers and sisters about alphabets, playing songs that we can sing along to. In school I used to make songs in the playground
people like Michael Jackson (R.I.P), I was mad into him when I was a kid but it wasn’t so Soulful it was more like the Pop thing. Other great singers that I loved were Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey but the real artist that really did it for me, that I was like ‘wow’ was Lauren Hill. When I heard her sing, I knew that was what I needed, I needed to be able to let myself give like that when I sing rather than just being pretty and have a good voice, or whatever, I wanted to sing with that kind of passion.
35 Interview continue...
So Lauren is probably the one that inspired me the most.
E2E: If you where not doing music…what would you be doing?
Shea: Ohh…good question [scratching her chin], well I’m quite a free spirit and I like to get around. I went travelling once for a year and it was the most amazing experience, I was so free, I didn’t know Shea: To be honest… No, there’s not. I think it is where I was going to be the next day and it didn’t difficult for artists to really get heard. To start with, matter. And I really love the idea of just taking in the music industry is a difficult area anyways and life and absorbing things… you know. I try things to keep going and find out what to do next and to that I’ve never tried before and do some crazy stuff, learn more is quite hard. I mean on my way up I have made many mistakes, which are great because nothing wild or naughty, just living. So I‘d probably be like a hippie, travelling around or I would probit is a learning experience but you could do a cerably be working somewhere with kids because I love tain amount of wrong things and you think what’s kids. So who knows what I would be doing… probthe point… where do I go from here? And I can see how people get lost and find themselves in the ably be climbing a cliff or something…[Laughs] same place over and over. I think it is hard, espeE2E: Do you think the media portray mostly positive or cially for people that are making urban music, it’s only recently started to get big in the UK, starting to negative news to its viewers? see really good UK hip hop artists doing big things. Shea: Negative, it is way too negative…I can’t even Before that could never happen, I think more people are starting to realise the potential and are now pay attention to it. I’m frightened to open the newsgetting involved and are supporting the UK entertain- paper to see what I am going to read. I think a lot more needs to be done to inspire positivty in our ment industry more. community, in the UK full stop. I’m sick of hearing about what the youths are doing and how bad they You are starting to see things where are, I’m sick of it, I want to start seeing positive things, and I think that we should all be trying to do people are not chasing R ‘n’ B so much which is why Endz 2 Endz, I’m really happy to and trying to be like the Americans which stuff be here with you guys, definitely. E2E: Do you think there is enough support in the UK industry to help UK artists like yourself?
is not really accepted here.
E2E: So you’ve got a track out called Make it Funky for me. where did the idea of Make it Funky for me come from?
You are starting to see things where people are not chasing R ‘n’ B so much and trying to be like the Americans which is not really accepted here. People Shea: The track was made by Attacca Pesante and do not want to be hearing, American wannabes. We it was basically based on a sample that they had. are finding our own sounds which is a really good look and getting better but I still think it is difficult The hook “Make it funky for me” was and still needs more support…so people out there support your own more. pretty much already there and when I
E2E: Who do you rate in the UK industry right now, who is tickling your fancy? Shea: [Laughs] Do you know what…I have to say, it is really crazy because there was a track called ‘Black Boys’ by Bashy. And because I am not really good at keeping up I wasn’t too sure who it was when I first heard it. I did a gig the other day for 1Xtra and it was featuring Bashy, and I kept hearing his name all over. He was going to perform and I saw him on a flyer, going to perform the tune that I love, Black Boys. When I first heard that track…I was like ‘Thank God, this track is so good, this is what I want to hear. Yes rate your black boys, don’t be fighting all the time. So I saw him perform and I thought this guy is amazing, he has so much energy and I’ve never really been cool with someone just standing there, ‘spitting’ and not singing but for him I thought it was cool because I loved the tune. So I’m definitely bigging up Bashy big time right now.
heard it, it was a beautiful hot summer day and I was like ‘WOW’!
The hook ‘make it funky for me’ was pretty much already there and when I heard it, it was a beautiful, hot summer’s day and I was like ‘Wow, in the vibe and thinking…summertime…I want to write about summer. So the feel is about summer having a good time, enjoying life really and listening to the DJ playing funky tracks, that’s how it officially came about. E2E: Have you done Funky House before? Shea: No, that was my first funky house track, I have done Soulful House tracks for quite a while on the underground scene but no funky house before this one. It is a completely different scene, I’m seeing things I haven’t seen before.
E2E: The tune is big right now, so how is it for you, is it getting busy and tiring? Shea: Yeah, I’m really busy at the moment, it is a mixture though, not necessarily with that track only. A lot of things that I do have picked up recently, I think with this whole recession that’s going on, people are investing a lot more in music and enjoying themselves more trying to get away from the sad things. I mean I’m just busy full stop. E2E: You performed in France, what was that like for you? Shea: I’ve actually sung in France a few times and it was a great experience and different. I am going on tour in a few months, that would be through France, Germany, all around. That should be great because like I said before I love travelling. It is great being in different environments because you get to meet so many different people and different audiences, it’s wicked. I was in Croatia, and I was doing Soulful House stuff and there was this girl at one of my performances in the audience that recognised me and asked ‘Are you going to do that Make it funky track?’ and I was like ‘No…I can’t do that here, it’s not that kind of event. I was so shocked and flattered at the same time because I was in Croatia and never expected to be known down there, it‘s really cool. E2E: What advice would you give anyone out there aspiring to be a musician and artist like yourself? Shea: I would say as a singer... perform as much as you can. Write your music, if you write you will find work, people will want to get you for sessions, feature on tracks… whatever. Be confident, tell people you sing and you want to take it more seriously, tell people you want to work with them, get yourself out there. When you get a chance to perform, try selling yourself. I know it’s not that easy but try your hardest, give it your all. Just go for it and follow your dreams, believe in yourself.
E2E:What three words would you use to describe yourself? Shea: [Laughs]
“Colourful...Honest...Happy” Colourful...Honest...Happy E2E: How can people get in contact with you or find your music?
E2E: For some of your fans, some may want to know how old is the one and only Shea Soul? Shea: Well…that is a question no one will ever know. For me to know... you to find out. I think you get judged so much by your age and people tend to say ‘your this so this means…’ and I’d rather not tell anyone…sssshhh! E2E: Sorry people that is left with a question mark. Shea: [Laughs]
Shea: They can check my Myspace www.myspace.com/Sheasoul or Facebook on ‘Shea Shea-Soul’
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Thoughts of Life
Thoughts of Life... SCREW FACE Words by Rachael Johnson
DOES HE THINK I OWE HIM MONEY?... DOES HE THINK MY ARMANI SHADES ARE FAKE?... OR IS IT HE JUST HAS SOMETHING IN HIS EYE... WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Are we living in war torn Palestine or a South African ghetto? You would think that is the case by the way we carry ourselves at times and by the way things are these days. The crazy thing is that our wars are not caused by fighting for change or occupying troops...ours are because the look that person gave was kind of funny. I’m sure most of you will know what I mean when I use the term ‘screw face’ (when someone expresses a frown towards someone else). For the past few years, I have noticed the amount of ‘screw face’ young people has increased drastically. It’s like we can’t even walk past each other down the street without having to nonverbally attack each other with our eyes. When did this all begin, days where we thought screwing someone for absolutely no reason was a fashion or trend and more importantly, why? The answer to this question is so deep rooted that most people don’t even know why - they just feel it. Various feelings and emotions have an impact on your face; anger, sadness, anxiety, jealousy, insecurity… whatever it is, it’s time to start questioning your logic and take responsibility for the energy you put out.
Ask yourself, is this who I really am? Do I really believe in screwing up my face just because someone is looking at me? Cutting my eye at a girl because she happens to look good that day or trying to intimidate a guy because he looks ‘weaker’ than me? Are we really that insecure that a glance from another human can cause us to react with such negativity? What are you so angry about? I’m sure many of you have seen fights break out because of such things and long running feuds between people that barely know each other; they just don’t like the look of each other! It seems so insignificant but says a lot more about us than we think. As young Londoners, I wonder what the future will be like for us and our children. If at present, kids are being stabbed and shot for looking at or talking to the wrong person, what will things be like in 5 or 10 years...for our younger cousins, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews..? Yes, we have a lot to be angry about as young people growing up right now, but we also have a lot to be thankful about. At least we are not in worse situations fighting in Iraq, West Bank or Vietnam. The reason I’m asking you so many questions, is because I want everyone who reads this to question themselves, their actions and their thoughts. Things will never change in our community if we don’t take control.
... IS YOUR LIFE WORTH A FACE FIGHT?
WHERE’S THE PLACE TO BE THIS SUMMER? WHAT DO YOU NEED TO HAVE A GREAT SUMMER? TELL US WHAT YOU’RE GETTING UP TO. DISCUSS IN OUR FORUM ON THE WEBSITE!!!
Is My Kindness My Weakness? Monthly Moan
JULY 31 Friday
I don’t deserve this. I am the first person all my friends and family turn to in their moments of need. It’s not that I’m complaining, it’s in my nature to want to help a person in need. I understand the struggle some undergo even before they’ve asked for help and will offer all the help I can, sometimes forsaking my own personal needs in times of emergencies. But when my moment comes, how come am I so limited in the people I can turn to? My mother is the only person there for me, ironically she is also the only person who doesn’t constantly request my help. I have taken friends children in when they’ve been hospitalised and paid off rent arrears on a loan to avoid a mother and child facing eviction. I have not received a penny back, but yet I am still expected to grant favours. I have cane-rowed an endless number of heads due to so many mothers not knowing how to maintain their children’s hair and at times I feel like I want to check above my front door to ensure that a 24-hour hairdresser sign hasn’t been placed above it. But still, when I’m in my moment of need – I feel like I walk the earth alone. The thing that pains me the most is that, although I know I will come out the other side of my troubles, I also know that when I get there those same people will still be expecting favours from me, yet are not willing to extend a helping hand of their own. It makes me anxious all over again as I engage in battle with my conscience at the sheer thought of what could follow if I refuse another plea of help. But what about my pleas? They fall on deafened ears, withdrawn souls and discontent hearts. When did people around me get so selfish? How did the people I call my friends and family turn into such an inconsiderate bunch of wankers? I say all this now because I’m feeling low due to my lack of places to turn to, the lack of support and assistance from the members of my inner circle. I was brought up to treat others how I with to be treated, I also believe in karma. It seems somewhere in life I have become surrounded by people who don’t share my morals. How come they don’t mind leaving me so high and dry? Is my personal, mental and physical well-being not of concern to anybody? Do I look like I’m made from a fusion of metal spare parts and an electronic heart? During my daily stride do I portray myself to not bleed or feel pain and emotions like others? I am a strong black woman not a statue. At times I also need help...
AUGUST 1 Saturday Wonder what will be next months ‘Monthly Moan’... if any girls or ladies have something you want to get off your chest give us an email... because we know all you females always have something to say...
WATCH OUT FOR PART 2!!!
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