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I am going to lie on my back and breathe deeply


1. I could keep this up here Maybe now Maybe not forever I am writing you love poems on the back of receipt paper The receipts are blank nothing has been purchased I am broke

2. I think there is an inspection happening in the apartment block next door There is a real estate agent with an ipad who is projecting his voice There are lots of desperate looking people I want to take all of my clothes off and grind against the dining table in my underwear In front of the window I want ‘im a slave 4 u’ to be playing at a loud volume I don’t care who moves in


When I say I am in a car park I am sitting on the actual car park I can’t drive I am sitting on asphalt or maybe concrete I am drawing lines in lines of ants with my fingers I want to spell FUCK YOU in ants and take a photo of this I don’t want to keep making the same shapes with my mouth I want to learn to Portuguese so I can yell at you in Portuguese

4. I want to swim with you at night And kiss you there And hold tightly to you while you hold tightly to something To keep us afloat (I have already done this)

 


At the end of every rainbow there is not a pot of gold there is sex I want to receive important emails daily I want to vibrate at a frequency that you perceive as ‘scarily erotic’ I want to buy 1 kg of ricotta cheese Just to throw it off a bridge with you Just so our hands will touch somewhere in the middle of the cheese

6. I am making a sex tape It is an audio file of songs I would like to listen to whilst Having sex with you


7. I am constantly sticking to objects I am becoming too weak to peel myself off When I become separated from the object I feel like a very Small person It is hard to breathe now I want to do something that makes me feel like a full glass of water

8. I want to wrap my naked body up in a crepe And eat my way out of it Shake my nutella covered ass in the mirror Feel closer to sexy than usual Then I notice all the dirty underwear on the floor And the coffee cups growing mould And the stale smell of myself I will pick all the crepe pieces left on my bed Make a nest And sleep there forever

10. Everything around me feels filthy Feels beautiful I can feel everything disintegrating I can feel the back of my throat burning My lips are dry Every night we are sleeping closer together Closer and closer and soon we will be touching Feeling uninhibited


My life is like a broken hyperlink >_<


11. There are 16 crows outside my window I counted them I have never seen so many crows in one place The air looks very orange The air is very still The street speakers are talking in a language I can barley comprehend They havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been turned on in years I have never been so fucking terrified in my entire life

There is this picture of a VB can reflecting a lot of light and it makes me feel warm Not like crawling inside an oven because that is dangerous More like Sitting on a rock that is too hot from the sun And burning your thighs In a momentary and pleasing way


13. I haven’t left the house all day What if I have lost the ability to understand english Can I communicate with my fingers Can I pull your hair affectionately That means “I like you”

14. I’m thinking about sending a text It says “Every time you kiss me the song waterfalls by TLC pops into my head” I saw two people making out and touching in an alley by central station today I wish I had someone to send this text to

There are so many people waving glow sticks The way most people dance is depressing My friend is wearing a double bun hairstyle She looks really good She dances in a non – depressing way I consider asking people to mimic her If I could be drunker I would be drunker I am counting the change in my pocket


16. I am in the kitchen I am listening to depeche mode I am making hummus I am not listening to depeche mode That is the blender I am in my bedroom I am naked On my bed I am reading pastoralia I am not reading I am thinking about you

18. Empty three spirulina tablets onto my palm Think about ingesting moss Feel good about ingesting moss I want to ingest moss lying next to some people on a pier With like, Juices in glass bottles or something Then jump off the pier together and feel “revitalised” Smile widely Maybe the apocalyptic dreams will stop

Talk dirty to me I’m listening to a pop song called ‘dirty talk’ on youtube I‘m sorry I only talk dirty to you when I touch myself One day I’ll say it to your face


20. I am going to my parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house near the beach I am going to roast a whole butternut pumpkin I am going to walk on the beach and touch at least 3 different seaweeds I am going to spin around on that beach and be reminded of my childhood I am not going to swim because it is cold I am going to see someone from my childhood And hide from them behind a rock I will text you & wait for the space next to your name to become a green circle When the green circle appears I will feel excited Someone will scream from the front door The cat has captured a snake It looks like the cat is smiling The cat is so proud.


21. im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous

im nauseous


Catching a plane at 7:15 am I am watching the safety routine I imagine the flight attendants in leotards exercising to the song ‘call on me’ I am thinking “I am a shitty person” I am imagining myself drinking the large beers they have in Melbourne and feeling incredibly fucked, not due to the beer but due to a few other reasons When the plane lands I am going to write a text message that says “stop” and feel like less of a shitty person I am looking at the clouds reflected in the lakes and I feel good to be where I am in the sky

23. My sisters pet rabbit lem is in the bathtub Every time I walk into the bathroom I say “le-em” when opening the door I am having visions of squishing “le-em” under my feet accidently I am not a violent person


24.

suburban

lovesick

alien


This is the end I promise you it is over Everyone is stoned The internet is stoned “I want to make internet with you” I want to listen to deep house and get low I want to fuck in a treehouse I want to bite and to be bitten I want to hold someone’s hand until it is sweaty “People only want to make internet with me they don’t love me irl” I have had 5 coffees I am in an internet café There are lots of lights moving very quickly around me Somebody take my pulse.

x

I am going to lie on my back and breathe deeply  

poetry by emmie rae