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Terror in Kenya JESSICA ABRAMSON (USA - MN ’15) •••
On September 21, between ten and fifteen unidentified gunmen carrying assault weapons entered the Westgate shopping mall in Nairobi, Kenya. What followed were over 48 hours of terror. The assailants exploded grenades, shot civilians, and held many hostage. All hostages were finally released on September 24. 72 people died in the attack, including 61 civilians, 6 Kenyan soldiers, and 5 of the attackers. An additional 11 suspects were taken into custody.
T hree of Nadim’s family members experienced the attack first hand. Two of Nadim’s uncles and an aunt were eating in the mall when they heard gunshots and ran into a storage closet. They hid there for three hours before being rescued by police. “At one point, they heard one of the gunmen coming closer. He walked past the closet they were hiding in, but happened to not open the door,” Nadim described. The attackers were member of Al-Shabaab, a Somali terrorist group. The group claimed the attack was retribution for... (continued on page 7)
Two UWC-USA students learned about the events in their home country, Kenya, from here in New Mexico, Nadim Ishak (Kenya ‘14) and Akhil Jasani (Kenya ‘15). Both have visited the Westgate mall many times. “It was so strange to see pictures of the attack because I recognized the different stores in the mall,” Akhil explained. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-10-06/chilling-cctv-footage-shows-
Turn to page 3 to read about the all great South West Studies adventures. First years were busy exploring New Mexico and the surrounding areas, whilst second years stayed on campus to catch their breath in the traditionally busy third semester.
Our reporters bring us first hand news from their respective countries: turn to page 7 for an inside point of view on Chinese anti-corruption, or to page 8 for a n o v e r v i e w o f G h a n a ’s elections.
OPINION Do you know who Jhamak Kumari is? Turn to page 10 to discover the amazing life story of this particular Nepalese writer.
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Photo Credit: Emily Venturi (Italy ’14)
A message from the Editors Dear Readership, Welcome back! We hope your young inquisitive minds’ thirst for knowledge was quenched as you explored the deserts of New Mexico or the SAT books. Squeals of delight finally lit up the Cafeteria after the end of the South West Studies week, as be keep building a strong community together.
We have a busy couple of weeks ahead of us, as midterms exams get underway, and the exciting Rainbow Week and END cultural show approach. The Literati will be sure to cover all the upcoming campus events, as well as always keeping you updated on international politics. Have a good read! The Editors
LITERATI STAFF THE EDITORS
Edgar Jaramillo USA -CA ’14
Emily Venturi Italy ’14
Jessica Abramson USA -ME ‘15
Jimena Terrazas Lozano Mexico - ‘15
Arissa Moreno Ruiz Peru - ’14
Alexander Asante Ghana ‘15
Alexander Kellog USA - NC ‘15
Carlin Ring USA - IA ’14
Subha Baniya Nepal ‘15
Shobhit Kumar USA - MD ’14
Changhao Chen China ‘15
Guyon Borgmann Netherlands - ‘15
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CAMPUS NEWS Archaeological Adventurers JIMENA TERRAZAS LONZANO (MEXICO ’15) •••
The past week, thirteen students and two teachers had the amazing opportunity of engaging in an archaeological adventure in which they would visit some of the most important archaeological sites in the states of Arizona, Utah, Colorado and New Mexico. I had the good luck of being part of that group of students and I must admit that it was one of the best trips in my life. The journey started on Saturday morning. We drove for almost five hours to Chaco Canyon, and after a quick lunch, we went to visit Pueblo Bonito (Beautiful Town), a set of semicircular ruins constructed by the Anasazi people in the year 900. That night, after eating s’mores near the fire pit, telling some horror stories and stargazing, we went to sleep. The temperature had dropped to almost -5 C and we heard the howling of coyotes and the mating call of a female elk. The next morning we hiked to Pueblo Alto (High Town) and we saw a beautiful sight from the top of Chaco Canyon. That same day we drove to Mesa Verde where we visited amazing ruins carved on cliff sides. It was an amazing and challenging adventure to climb up and down the ladders in the ruins and we had a lot of fun that day. We spent the night in the forest near the ruins. The third day we woke up with some bad news: the National Parks had been closed. Todd, our
Social Anthropology teacher, suggested that we go to Monument Valley. Everybody was pretty upset that day. Some of us had caught a bad cold and others were just tired. After some hours of driving we got to Gooseneck, Utah, near Monument Valley and we knew that the long hours of driving were worth it. We admired the amazing landscape of the eroded stones, the sand and the San Juan River which formed the intricate canyon below us. Before dinner, we met two UWC alumni from Pearson and Swaziland that were camping near our campsite. That night we all slept under the stars after an amazing dinner together. I must admit that it was one of the most beautiful nights of my life. Photo Credit: Alejandro Soler Galloso (Spain ’15)
We spent the next two days in Canyon de Chelly where we hiked and visited a couple of archaeological sites. The landscapes of the canyon were breathtaking. The reddish sand rock mountains in the middle of the desert in contrast with the rich vegetation of the canyon looked like a picture taken out of a cartoon. We admired the symbols painted on the walls hundreds of years ago by the Navaho people. We spent our last day in Zuni Pueblo, a Native American reservation, where we visited a museum and a church and ate some Zuni bread. On our last night we talked for a long time near the fire.
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We started talking about home, school and our lives while we ate some chile relleno. After I came back, my parents asked me if I had learned a lot about ancient cultures during my trip. I didn’t know what to say. Of course I had learned a lot about the old pueblos but the most valuable knowledge of my trip went far beyond that. When you go on a trip like this, you learn to respect people, to watch after yourself and after your team. You learn a new and stronger sense of friendship and responsibility; you learn to trust your team. For me that was the most important thing about this trip. I became very close with the people that took this trip with me and I know that I will always remember this Archaeological Adventure.
possibly add to IB points. Of course, there were many perspectives on this style of workshops. Paolo (Italy ’14), for example, was a huge aficionado of them and stated with confidence that, “the workshops were inspiring and extremely enlightening. I now feel like a better person.” On the other hand, some believed the workshops could have been enriched. Orhun (USA-NC ’14) considers that, “they would have been more useful if they were more compressed in time.”
Second Year Week! SHOBHIT KUMAR (USA-MD ’14) •••
While every first year was out exploring some amazing aspect of the Southwest, second years were on campus without work, stress, or anything to do. Everything was calm and tranquil last week. Wouldn’t that be a great story if it were true? Reality is, quite the opposite happened over the past seven days in the lives of second year students. Whether it was ToK workshops, college applications, IAs, SATs, or even sleep, there was quite an abundance of things to do. Every morning, Monday through Thursday, began with a ToK workshop at 9:00 AM on the dot! These ranged from going over essay prompts with Sweet Ravi to recounting your first day of elementary school with Hilarious Paris. These lasted for a little more than an hour each and were focused on preparing us for our ToK essay, which could
Then, of course, many second years experienced the test that some say can make or break your college plans: the SAT. The SAT is roughly four hours long, has ten sections, and covers critical reading, writing, and mathematics. Luckily for those taking the SATs, there was a week of without class to get ready. For the SAT, there were two different approaches to the exam: stress about it or don’t stress about it. For people like Uhunoma (USA-VA ’14), stressing out is not necessary. “You either do well or you don’t,” he says to justify his approach. Still, there are others who firmly believe that in order to do well on the test, stress is required. “Stress is healthy sometimes, and I definitely think it’s not a bad thing to be stressed for the SAT,” a
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second year told me. Regardless of all the things going on, most believe that survival week… I mean support week was a great time to get away from the usual structure of school and try something new for a bit. Lea Teresa (Bulgaria ’14) best sums it up. “It was rewarding to have some time for ourselves and to get back on track.”
carrying a heavy bag full of supplies to remain comfortably alive in the wilderness, the teams headed for a long hike.
Adventuring down the Gran Canyon Photo Credit: Juulia Suuronen (Finland ’15)
GUYON BORGMANN (THE NETHERLANDS ’15) •••
Last week during South West Studies, some of the first year students travelled to Arizona in order to discover Grand Canyon on foot. Teams were divided by trail and by the length of the journey down into the National Park, which varied from three to five days. Sunday 29th of September, around sixty students and no less than fifteen faculty members left from Campus at 6.00 AM towards the southern rim of the canyon on a ten hour bus ride. Seven teams slept on the rim of the Grand Canyon in low temperatures, but excitement for the upcoming days kept them warm throughout the night. The next morning we all woke up once more at an ungodly hour, six of the teams hiked down into the Canyon on their respective trails. This included; three day Cottonwood and Tanner, four day Horseshoe and Tanner and five day Boucher and Little Colorado. This left one last team on top, to enjoy the magnificent Southern Rim. All trails led down to the Colorado River but one, the Cottonwood trail, which ended on the tip of a cliff overlooking the river below. Many miles were awaiting each group but all seemed more than ready for the challenge this exploration offered. All
On Tuesday, the government of the United States of America announced its temporary shutdown in relation to indecision concerning National Health Care, also known as ObamaCare. As the government shutdown, it declared all National Parks to be closed. All teams at that moment had already reached out for a considerable distance, and therefore were not forced to leave the area until the expiration of their permit. The rim team meanwhile was relocated to the National Forest nearby, only a couple of miles outside of Grand Canyon. As the teams one by one made their ways back up, each and every one of them was surprised by the closure of the government and all indicated not to have noticed much when down in the Canyon. While some of the teams were reaching the rim, others took pleasure in taking a long awaited shower in the RV-Village. Smores, music and the incredible tales of the achievements accomplished, some having left minor injuries or scratches, marked the last evening with everyone back up on the rim. Many had missed each other, some had wished to stay longer but Saturday was a day to head back to Campus.
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GLOBE AT A GLANCE who happened to be in Pakistan at the time. Malala’s assassin had been hired by the notorious Taliban government-in-exile to murder her for openly speaking out against the Taliban’s efforts to prevent girls from going to school. In the past, the Taliban has destroyed schools for girls in Afghanistan and Pakistan as well The girl death as attacked, tortured, and killed who dare to speak out refused to kill those against their radical agenda. It is truly incredible that such a ALEXANDER KELLOG powerful and well-armed group (USA - NC ’15) ••• like the Taliban would find a 15 year old girl to be a threat to L a s t y e a r i n them. October, a 15 year old girl W hat is even more named Malala Yousafzai was riding on a school bus in her incredible is that Malala had been hometown of Ming ora in speaking out against the Taliban’s northwest Pakistan when two ban on girls going to school men climbed into the vehicle. since she was just 11 years old One of the men asked “Who is when she had her first online Malala?” Although she did not interview regarding the issue. respond, the man apparently Now, one year after the attack, identified her and shot her three Malala is fully recovered and is times in the head with a pistol. going to school and living in Miraculously, she survived the England with her family. attack thanks to a British doctor http://www.parade.com/170557/parade/
MAAD South Korea recently passed a law requiring children being put up for adoption to first be registered with the government, unexpectedly creating an increase in the number of children abandoned by their parents. This abandonment is thought to be the result of mothers simply not knowing about the new law, which states that only mothers can register their children for
Holi, the Hindu religi on’s spring festival, is becoming com mercialized as it gains popularity in Europe, with some festivals attracting crowds of up to 10,000 people. Ho wever, some Hindus in Europe are no t pleased by thi s, say ing tha t Ho li los es it’s meaning if it is treated lik e a party and celebrated in the fall or winter, as it often is by non-Hindu par ticipants.
Eleven counties in Colorado say they
The United States recently conducted
Argentina’s President Cristina Fernandez
want to break from the rest of the state in
two raids in Africa to combat the spread
is undergoing surgery this week to treat a
order to form a new state, believing that
of al-Queda in the region. The first raid
hematoma in her brain. A hematoma
their voices have been neglected by the
took place in Tripoli, Libya, where a
occurs when excessive amounts of blood
state government and drowned out by
man believed to have plotted attacks
accumulate between the brain and the
citizens of urban communities.
against American embassies in east
skull, reducing blood flow and creating
Africa was captured.
pressure within the skull.
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WORLD NEWS (continued from page 1) Kenyan military involvement in Somalia. Al-Shabaab is a violent Islamist group, and the attackers let Muslim civilians leave the mall unharmed. In order to determine whether civilians were pretending to be Muslim in order to escape, the attackers asked them to recite Muslim prayers, and shot them if they could not do so. “They like to call themselves Muslim, but they’re terrorists. No religion defines terrorism as part of their religion,” Akhil explained. Nadim expressed a feeling of responsibility to be educated about the event so that he could educate others about what was happening in his country. “It was just sad to see that the only time people knew about my country was when this happened because that’s not what home is like at all” Nadim explained. Akhil added “People have gotten the wrong image about what Kenya is from this event. It’s not really like this. We’re not known to be a dangerous country or have terrorist attacks.” Following this attack, Nadim says he hopes to be able to “spread Kenya’s true image”.
being economical during major celebrations further demonstrates the strength and power of Chinese government’s anti-corruption activities. Usually, the officers can receive bribery, in the form of gifts or parties, when some important traditional festivals are coming.
Since the 18th CPC National Congress in 2012 and the 12th National People’s Congress in 2013, the new crop of leaders of Chinese government, with greater intensity than ever before, has fought against corruption among civil servants at both the basic level and high level. In the past 10 years, the economy of China developed rapidly, while because of the lack of targeted laws and effective supervision, the corruption and nepotism were increasingly pervasive inside the government in all levels, which seriously CANGHAO CHEN (CHINA ’15) affected the transformation and upgrading of ••• Chinese economy, the normal operation of the government, and the public’s confidence and faith of This October 1st is the sixty-forth national the abilities of CPC. day of the People’s Republic of China. Unusual is the celebration of the national day, was particularly “The trust cannot replace the supervision.” simple and economical, without much extravagance said Qi’shan Wang, the new secretary of the Central and waste, compared to the previous years’. Similar Discipline Inspection Committee. He summarized phenomenon occurred in the celebration of Mid- four negative styles of officers’ behaviors, which are Autumn Festival not long ago. This new style of formalism, bureaucracy, hedonism and extravagance.
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Countering the four styles, the committee drew up promoting the process of building democracy and eight anti-corruption provisions, which basically rule of law in China. limited or canceled the officers’ privileges. Besides laws and provisions on paper, the central government also took a series of measures to punish corrupted officers. Around ten inspection groups, led by some retired and experienced officers who had good reputation of incorruption, were sent to local governments, observing the conditions of corruption, listening to people’s reports and opinions, and giving clues of suspected officers to the central committee. In addition, anti-corruption activities on the Internet, mainly from the public, which once were considered as “inharmonic voice” and forbidden, are finally acknowledged by the government. Because of the power of the Internet, network reports and accusations against corrupted officers were quite efficient and powerful.
Photo credit: http:// www.flagsinternational.com/3ft-x-5ft-polyesterchina-flag-with-heading-and-grommets.html
A civil war in Ghana? ALEXANDER ASANTE (GHANA ’15) •••
Election in Ghana, since the inception of the Fourth Republic, has generally been free, fair and peaceful. Thus, Ghana continues to receive praises from several countries and international organizations such as the United Nations (UN).However, the So far, thousands of officers have been recent elections in Ghana nearly brought chaos, invested or warned, hundreds of whom have been hullabaloo and brouhaha into the nation. sacked and put into trials. Some of these accused officers were once very powerful and affective central Ghanaians from all over the world , who were officers. The most famous one, no doubt, is Xilai Bo, eligible voters had to exercise their franchise on the the former Chongqing City Party Chief and Member th 7 and 8th of December last year. Normally, o f t h e P o l i t i c a l B u r e a u o f t h e elections in Ghana are conducted only on the 7th of CPC Central Committee. On September 22nd, he was December after every four years, but after several sentenced to life imprisonment due to acceptance of problems and complaints the elections in Ghana bribes and abuse of authority. continued on the 8th of December 2012.Ghana decided to switch to the biometric system of voting , Furthermore, the senior executives of some after several questions were raised by political pundits state-owned enterprises, especially in railroad, oil and about the authenticity of election results. Yet again, gas, and electronic service area, also faced great the biometric verification machine had its own flaws. pressure because of the anti-corruption investments. Eight political parties contested the elections, but the These monopoly enterprises are right now considered most dominant were the New Patriotic Party(NPP) as the origin of the bribes and corruption. Although and the National Democratic Congress(NDC). anti-corruption is definitely a long way to go, the optimists believe that this positive solutions against The strength of Ghana's young democracy corruption benefit common people, and will was put to test when the NPP led by Nana Akuffo absolutely help improving Chinese economy and Addo decided to contest the election results in court citing various irregularities like unsigned pink
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sheets( Pink sheets are the sheets on which election results are recorded), over voting, voting without biometric verification and duplicate serial numbers. There were three petitioners: Nana Akuffo Addo (Flagbearer of the NPP) , Dr. Mahamudu Bawumiah (Vice presidential candidate for the NPP) and Jake O. Lamptey ( Chairman of the NPP). The hearing of the election petition began on the 16th of April 2013. It began with the 2nd petitioner, Dr. Bawumiah providing the evidence that the NPP had to the court. This evidence is known as the evidence-in-chief. The evidence was in the form of pink sheets and filed affidavits of witnesses they intended to call. Nine judges presided over the election court case. Their leader was Justice Atuguba. The NPP initially alleged gross and widespread irregularities at 4,709 polling stations, but after further investigations they amended their petition to indicate irregularitiesÂ at 11,916 polling stations. Upon further scrutiny, the petitioners relied on 11,138 polling stations as areas where the alleged infractions relating to over-voting, voting without biometric verification, polling stations with same serial numbers and presiding officers failing to sign pink sheets occurred. Per the petitionersâ€™ calculation, Nana Akufo-Addo won the election by 59.69 per cent, while President Mahama polled 39.1 per cent. They therefore pleaded with the court to annul 4.3 million votes at the polling stations where the alleged irregularities occurred. President Mahama, the Electoral Commission(EC) and the NDC, who are the first, second and third respondents, respectively denied the allegations and indicated that President Mahama won the elections fairly and transparently. After 10 sittings, the judges considered more than 21 interlocutory applications filed by parties in the case, the ninemember court set out two issues for trial.
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They are whether or not there were statutory violations, omissions, irregularities and malpractices in the conduct of the elections held on December 7 and 8, 2012 and whether they affected the outcome of the results. After hearing arguments over six months, in a case that was televised daily, the supreme court gave their verdict on the 29th of august 2013. Ghana's Supreme Court by a 6-3 decision dismissed the 2012 election petition. Thus, Dr. John Dramani Mahama still remains the president of Ghana. The whole election petition was one that put fear in most Ghanaians. Personally, I thought there was going to be war in Ghana, because of the violent demonstrations made by the followers of the NPP on the streets of Accra, which resulted in the death of some citizens. These NPP members usually assaulted any NDC member they met. Nevertheless, Ghanaians accepted the supreme courtâ€™s verdict in good faith, and thus curbed the likelihood of a war. At long last, the world can heave a huge sigh of relief, for peace continues to reign in Ghana.
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OPINION her control. There was no one to teach her alphabets, no one to give her even a paper and a pen to write with. In one of her books, “A flower in the midst of thorns,” where she has written about her life, she says, “My younger sister used to pronounce vowel sounds with my father, but I had no voice to utter those letters, although I SUBHA BANIYA (NEPAL ’15) ••• had powers of hearing. As a result, I would silently and inwardly try to pronounce what I had heard and repeat them It’s strange that some people have everything twice, thrice or more.” they desire, while some can’t even express what they want, but the way they give a meaning to their life, which doesn’t have a single ray of hope, is even more astounding. When we think of such cases, many people come to mind like Helen Keller, Stephen Hawkings, Sudha Chandran, and many more. However, a lot of us barely know about yet another person, who serves as an ideal example for the case: Jhamak Kumari.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way
Jhamak Kumari, a handicapped Nepalese writer, was born in July 1980 to an impoverished family. She suffered from cerebral palsy, a state where a person has impaired muscle coordination or other disabilities due to the damage to the brain before or after birth. To add to her difficulty, she could hear but http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http:// had slurred speech and poor eyesight. Many such www.ekantipur.com/uploads/tkp/news/2011/ people are still fortunate enough to receive immense gallery_08_20/JHAMAKKUMARI_20110821091452.jpg&imgrefurl love and support from their family that they need to move on in their life. However, for Jhamak Kumari, it was too good to be true, for she was born in a society To write with one’s foot no piece of cake. Her that didn’t even consider her to be a human being. foot bled as she tried to write with rough sticks and stones. Nevertheless, she persevered to write day and Young Jhamak Kumari did want to learn and night with direct and indirect help of her sister. With explore things around her, but her poor and ignorant such tremendous effort, she was finally able to write. parents were completely against it. However, this fact She also says in her book, “The first day I had been able never deterred her from achieving what she wanted, to scribble the first letter of the consonant क (Ka), I had for even though she was challenged physically, she was incredible mentally. She started her journey of sprayed a cloud of dust in the air out of sheer happiness literature scribbling in the mud with bamboo sticks because I had broken innumerable twigs time and again in using her left foot, which was the only organ under
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order to learn writing this letter and I bruised the tender skin rubbing against the soil.” Her dedication finally melted her stone hearted parents, who then provided her with pen and paper. After learning enough vocabulary and writing skills from different helping hands, she began to write. Besides her prize winning essays, she has written four volumes of poetry, two books of short stories and many newspaper columns. She is a columnist at “Kantipur” newspaper, a famous newspaper in Nepal. Among other things, she was also awarded the “Madan Puraskar,” one of the highest accolades in literature, in Nepal. There was no way for her to express herself, but literature gave the outlet for her emotions to flow through. She was deprived of everything, despised by everyone, yet she proved herself and is working not only for her but for the entire community, to this day. She says, "Pen connects me with the world. Living without a pen might be possible, but not easy and natural at all. No more life for only self. I have to live for others. How long I live, I will live for my society, my nation and my world." She really stands as an inspiration to all, and not only motivates us to live our life, but also to make it meaningful. Sources "Jhamak Ghimire - the Helen Keller from Dhankuta, Nepal." . N. p. , 2 2 0 7 2 0 1 2 . We b. 7 O c t 2 0 1 3 . < h t t p : / / pakhribasupdates.blogspot.com/2012/07/jhamak-ghimirehelen-keller-from.html>. "Jhamk Kumari Ghimire." . N.p.. Web. 7 Oct 2013. <http:// narinepal.com.np/jhamak-kumari-ghimire/>.
The nightmare of chewing gum ARISSA MORENO RUIZ (PERU ’14) •••
Childhood memories I used to eat a lot of candies, lollipops, and all sorts of junk food. But, my favorite was to chew gum during classes, or after classes, right before sleeping, whenever. Don’t worry I don’t love chewing gum as much as I love being here. Well, anyway, who does not enjoy chewing gum? Just feeling your jaw going up and down, side to side, feeling the flavors mixing in your mouth, going into your brain and taking you to Gumland. Chewing gum gathers cultures. This is my perspective of chewing gum; I see it in a poetical way more than in the mechanical definition. My love for chewing gum ended drastically when my mother told that if I swallowed it, it will take SEVEN LONG YEARS to exit my organism. Or worst…it will stay inside there for all eternity. The urban legend says that if you swallow a whole piece of chewing gum, it will take 7 years to go away from your organism. Moreover, if I swallowed one piece after another, an immense chewing gum monster would be born in my belly. And this is not only a myth in my country; children from all over the world have been traumatized with this. Fact or Fiction? Discover it here. Imagine coming back in time… It’s 2006, seven years ago. Bush was still in the White House. There was no Twitter. We were not facebookholics. We were still little innocent human beings. And “Pirates of the Caribbean” was the highest-grossing movie. Imagine swallowing a piece of gum. According to the legend, by now, it will still be in your
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stomach. Will it stay in your stomach, stuck to your stomach’s walls without being affected by the natural processes that happen in our bodies when we decompose and digest our food? Do we have any scientific basis for this belief ? Chewing gum consists of a gum base, sweeteners, flavors, preservatives and softeners.The sugars and ingredients which give flavor, such as mint oils, break down quickly and are rapidly excreted. Same with softeners, such as vegetable oil or glycerin, which are no problems for the digestive system. The ingredient that can resist both the acid in the stomach and digestive enzymes in the gut is the GUM BASE. Traditionally, many manufacturers used sap from the Tropical tree called Chiclero, native to southern Mexico, Central America and the Caribbean. But, later, U.S. troops took their rations of gum to other parts of the world during the Second World War, and its popularity spread so fast that the Chiclero trees were not enough. Today, most of the gum is made from other natural or synthetic polymers. Each manufacturer has its own recipe, which seeks to achieve the perfect degree of elasticity. SO DOES IT HAPPEN OR NOT? Truth is that even though the gum base cannot decompose in your stomach, it won’t stay in you belly for 7 long year. If it is a small piece, it will go through your body normally. There are cases of some crazy little kids. Juan was 6 years old. He suffered from constipation for 2 years. It was so hard to go to the bathroom that his parents began offering chewing gum as an incentive for trying. He ate 7 or 8 pieces a day, and swallowed all of them. After, he got a stomach exam that revealed a mass of the consistency of hard candy from his rectum, made mostly of gum. That was the problem. So, swallowing large amounts of gum is not such a good idea. But if you occasionally eat a piece, don’t worry… You will not die. There is no evidence. And if you swallowed a piece today, it will not stay in your stomach until the 2020 Olympics.
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the FLIPSIDE Welcome to FlipSide: we think we’re funny so you don’t have to, Hello again critics, after a week of sabbatical we here at the FlipSide are ready to provide you with this week’s most interesting developments that only 200 or so people living in a castle actually care about. But first some real news! As the US Federal Government enters its second week of sitting on its balls, we here at the FlipSide have had to make efforts to scale back our operations. That means sending home unessential workers (sorry CEC!), turning off the panda cams, and cancelling our subscription to military satellite surveillance, making it really hard to keep an eye on you all at the bottom of the not-so-well-financed-Canyon. Luckily, we’re managing to get by on some alumni grants, pulling money from the END booze budget, and selling stuff from the Hammer House on Amazon (if you’re interested there are currently half a million copies of a certain autobiography up for grabs— free shipping!). Turning back to campus news, or rather off campus news, this year’s SWS week was relatively tame compared to last year. No buses were robbed, stop signs were not toppled, and there was a noticeably low activity on Jessika (USA-Kansas, ’14)’s Instagram, the final source on all things debauchery! However, a group of students in México was harassed by some border patrol officers who appeared to have some pretty “essential” looking machine guns. Find out all about it in John “Slim” Shady’s new(est) documentary: La Frontera: Along the Fence, how I forgot my camera bag in a restricted area and sent one of my students to get it back from an angry Border Patrol officer. Now the second years on the other hand… well they didn’t do much either. I mean there was Alter Ego (is that still supposed to be a “secret”? Oops.), where we found out that most
of Denali’s alter egos are women with very large breasts, surprise surprise. I say most because Stephen Dowdy (USA-Pennsylvania, ’14)’s alter ego was some kind of scrawny, blonde Friar Tuck. Alex Hemmer (Singapore, Indonesia, Nedurlandz, et al) also added Senegal to her soon to be obscenely long list of countries she “identifies with.” If we’re lucky she’ll write a song about it. Besides Alter Ego though, the class of 2014 spent most of their time working hard, or was it hardly working? Between an EE, a Math IA, some TOK classes, and whatever it is StuCo does, this FlipSide found himself mastering the game of squash, going to concerts, and paddling his roomie’s mattress like a raft across Storrie Lake. Which would qualify as the 3rd greatest SWS prank, right behind buying JC (USA-CA, ’15) another watermelon and then proceeding to stab that one, and stealing all of Jimena’s (Mexico, ’15) hair ribbons. Your move muahahaha!!! One person who was guaranteed safety from all these pranks, along with everyone in MB —thanks Mike, was our new friend Abdullah (Iraq, ’15) do to the fact that until Monday morning there was nothing to prank. It turns out that a shut down customs office is far more trusting of Middle Easterners. Noted. With all the craziness going around in our neck-o-de-woods, it gets pretty easy to forget that we don’t even have a Tom O. on campus! Yes, for those of you who don’t know, we here at the FlipSide decided that a President was pretty “unessential” in a school that flatters itself with claiming to house the future world leaders. As such, we told him to pack his bags until after the shutdown, I hear he went to Holland or something and crashed on the futon of some UWC Maastricht student...toodleoo! Sincerely,