Is Omission the Same as Lying? var seo_sids = new Array();var seo_osids = new Array(); One of the main things that is always advised against in a relationship is lying. You should never lie to your partner, especially about the really important things. Now, everyone tells those “little white lies” that are designed to keep from hurting feelings. These are also used to keep surprises under wraps such as special gifts and surprise parties. With those things, though, you know that your partner is eventually going to find out about a surprise gift or party so you don’t feel bad about telling a tiny lie. Those other things such as whether or not a pair of pants makes someone’s backside look large can continue to be the little white lies. A debate that’s long been ongoing is whether or not it’s considered a lie when you just don’t tell your partner something. Many times there are things in your past or even things that happen in your present that you simply don’t tell your partner about because you’re afraid it will upset him. Later, however, when things come out into the open, the first question is usually about why you lied about it. Now, the thing is, you didn’t actually LIE because you were never asked about it. On the other hand, you didn’t volunteer information that you had to know would be important to your partner. So the question becomes whether omission is really just a form of lying. There’s a lot to be said in support of omitting something being a type of lie. Technically, an omission couldn’t actually be a lie because you weren’t asked any question to lie about. Therefore, it’s not a lie, per se. However, on the other hand, if an incident occurs and it’s something you KNOW that your partner would want to know and you refrain from telling him, that’s not exactly right, either. Sometimes there are just things you wish you didn’t know so you would never have to make that decision. Obviously, a lie is something that you deliberately tell incorrectly when you’re asked about it. Most of the time lies are told to avoid trouble. The problem is, when the truth DOES come out, as it often does, then you’ve got a real issue on your hands. Your partner is mad at you and you’ve got to explain why you didn’t tell the truth. Lying has been the cause of many a relationship break up. An omission, on the other hand, can be a different sort of problem. While you haven’t told a lie, exactly, you’ve left out something that you KNOW would matter to your partner. This is along the same lines as not telling a complete tale. You answer a question with MOST of the facts but you leave out the important and upsetting thing, or you simply don’t volunteer that anything happened at all. The answer to this dilemma is, basically, to look deep inside yourself and ask yourself if what you’re withholding is something that YOU would want to know if the situation was reversed. If the answer is yes, then you’ll know that your omission may be very close to an actual lie.
About Emily Hintern
Emily specializes in individual and couples therapy and relationship and dating advice.
Is Omission the Same as Lying?
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