Issuu on Google+


www.exceptionalmag.com July-August 2012

CONTENTS Extraordinary Profiles 4

Lady King Peggy—An American Secretary Becomes An African King

Minding My Business 15

Four Simple Tips to Gain Massive Media Exposure

16

Create Balance In Your Life

18

Will Overstreet—A Winning Strategy for Entrepreneurial Success

24

Breaking Through Income Barriers

26

Five Mistakes to Avoid When Pricing Your Services

Empowerment

27

Why Small Businesses Should Consider an SBA Loan

36

28

Book Review: Do It Right for Yourself and the Company

Executive Chef JourdanCha’Taun Atkinson—Culinary Innovator Transforms Childhood Adversities into Recipes for Success

29

Do You Smell When You Negotiate?

43

The Most Valuable Question You Can Ask

30

Ten Tips to Keep Part-time Employees Motivated

44

How to Ask for a Raise

31

Three Reasons Why Discounting Your Services Could be Damaging Your Reputation

45

Are Your Habits Hindering Your Success?

46

Overcoming the Three Major Risks of Retirement Planning

47

The Number One Skill That Every Human Needs

48

The Four Stages of Change-What Stage are You In?

49

Six Parenting Tips for Motivating Kids to Achieving Goals

50

Talking to Your Kids After Divorce Can be Tough – But Necessary

51

Five Things that Destroy Relationships and How to Avoid Them

Cover Photo by Sarah Preston

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.” Brian Tracy


Publisher’s Letter Dear Friends, Today’s challenge is tomorrow’s opportunity. “Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” Bernice John Reagon Are you facing an obstacle today? Does it seem overwhelming and unsolvable? If you respond yes, then I can understand your hesitancy to move forward. But before you think about giving up let me give you a brief example of an individual I know who possessed the fortitude to overcome and effectively deal with adversity. Christopher Powell, who was born with cerebral palsy, has had to overcome many challenges of everyday life since birth. Initially dependent upon a wheelchair and others for many years to do everything for him, he was determined to achieve personal freedom. Can you imagine not having the ability to use your hands to pick up a pencil to write, or pick up a fork to feed yourself? Despite those challenges and many others that he faces everyday, he is completely independent (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DuHruJzOlw). Christopher's positive mindset has helped him develop two businesses and live his dream of becoming a successful entrepreneur. What adversity are you facing today? Is it something relating to your business, your professional career or your personal life? Sometimes we can become overwhelmed by the challenges we face in life because we look at them from a holistic viewpoint. Approach challenges and obstacles the same way you would approach your goals and dreams; step by step. Break them into smaller, manageable parts and follow these steps: 1. Identify the overall challenge 2. Identify specific reasons or causes why it exists 3. Determine what actions need to be taken to rectify those reasons - - create a strategy • Ask "What If" questions and create more than one possible solution - don't be judgmental when defining potential solutions • Review your list of solutions and prioritize them • Determine what resources are needed to help you resolve the problem 4. Execute your strategy 5. Track the results you're getting. If the first solution is not working, execute the next one. Every obstacle you face is an opportunity to develop a new attitude, develop new skills, enhance existing talents and inspire others. Our best moments usually occur when we are uncomfortable and are unfulfilled, because that’s when we are motivated to step out of our comfort zones to begin exploring alternatives to overcome challenges. Life often hands us lemons. Take the time to reflect back on some of those instances that you've experienced. Did you turn them into lemonade or did you allow them to sour your view of life? The negative situations you experience will become a test of your ability to find the good in those experiences and turn them into something powerful and positive. With every good wish for great achievements, Exceptional People Magazine is not just a magazine. It is a life-changing experience. July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine |


Lady King Peggy An American Secretary Becomes An African King

Nana of Otuam, Ghana


Extraordinary Profiles was now time for her to connect with her roots – Otuam, Ghana, where her parents were from -- a hometown where she had never lived, but visited a few times. It was by happenstance, that she became a secretary. Peggy recalls, “When I was growing up I wanted to be a caterer, or I wanted to be a spiritual leader for some reason. When my mom became divorced from my dad she chose to have me go study catering in London, because she knew that I loved good food. When I went to London, I came on a holiday to the United States, and I went to the Ghanaian embassy to visit my father’s friend. By then he was an ambassador, so he offered me the job. I went back to England to finish studying catering and then returned to the United States.”

Moses, King Peggy’s uncle in Otuam [Courtesy of Eleanor Herman]

“When I came back, I worked as a receptionist. I then chose to further my education by attending Strayer University and becoming a secretary at the embassy. I thought I was going to be there for only

It’s 4:00 a.m., and you’re in a deep sleep. The phone rings. What’s wrong? You’d probably think something is terribly wrong. Or, perhaps you were dreaming that the phone was ringing at 4:00 a.m. Can you imagine being awakened at that time of the morning with a message that you have been chosen to be king of a town halfway around the world? Is it a dream or maybe a prank call? That’s what happened to Peggielene Bartels. It was definitely not a dream or a prank call for the American secretary who works at the Ghanaian Embassy in Washington, D.C. That morning, the phone rang and for Peggy, her new reality began over three years ago. Peggy quickly learned that she would have an enormous decision to make in the days ahead. It was reality for the 30-year veteran secretary. “America has been good to me,” she says, but it

King Peggy’s beloved mother [Courtesy of Peggielene Bartels] July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 5


Extraordinary Profiles

a few years and then return to open up my own restaurant, but before I knew it I was still there. I’m still a secretary.” In August of 2008, Peggy’s life was about to change drastically. Her life was destined for a higher purpose, though it was unknown to her until she received that early morning phone call. Lady King Peggy, as she is often known, was niece to former King Joseph who had passed away awhile before she received the phone call. Before his passing, Uncle Joseph would serve as king of Otuam for 25 years. Over time when Peggy would return to Ghana to visit her mother, they’d travel to Otuam to see Uncle Joseph; his royal name, Nana Amuah Afenyi V. The last time she saw him was at her mother’s funeral in 1997 but she stayed in contact with him over the next ten years or so. King Peggy as a young secretary at a reception at the Ghanaian Embassy [Courtesy of Peggielene Bartels]

When the king becomes ill, it is customary for people to say, “The king has gone to his village

Pastor Be Louis Colleton and members of the Shiloh Baptist Church, dressed in traditional garb, attend the Royal Funeral [Courtesy of Sarah Preston] 6 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012


Extraordinary Profiles

for a cure.” If they said, “He may be in the village for a long while and won’t be coming back soon,” it meant the king had died. “It’s a code that they normally use for kings, queens and the chiefs whenever they pass on. They don’t come and tell you the king is dead,” Peggy stated. Those were the words that gripped at the heartstrings of Peggy as she answered the early morning call from her uncle Kwame Lumpopo. His next words, “Congratulations, you are the new king,” are what put her in daze. After all, it was 4:00 a.m. in the morning and she hadn’t completely awakened yet. It was then that she learned she had been chosen as the next in line to become king, because her uncle wanted it that way. She hadn’t grasped the magnitude of what was about to happen; how her future would change, and the impact she would have on thousands of lives.

Would she accept the call? It was highly unusual for a woman to become a king, she thought to herself. How can a woman become a king? How can a secretary be a king? It would take her sometime to reach a decision. After days of deep thought and contemplation, she heard a voice, “Nana, this is your destiny.” She accepted the call to serve and, at that moment, in her mind, she was now King Peggy, nana of Otuam. She confirmed this by contacting Kwame Lumpopo and she declared herself to be the new King of Otuam. It was done. The decision had been made. “It sunk in when I went home for the coronation, looking all over the town seeing the people in a festive atmosphere, and they were really happy. I said, wow, this is really true; I’m a king,” stated Peggy. This was no dream. It was time to face her new, harsh reality. As Lady King Peggy, she would also inherit all the problems that came with the position.

King Peggy and her Soul in the palanquin during her coronation ceremony [Courtesy of Peggielene Bartels] July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 7


Extraordinary Profiles

She would now be responsible for ridding the town of financial corruption, improving the educational system, the economy and the hospital and healthcare systems, including a number of other problems that had existed for years. Over the span of decades, life in Otuam was difficult. The village had very little economic stability and the townspeople were very poor. Otuam didn’t have a booming economy like other parts of Ghana, where things like gold mines or factories provided growth possibilities. Fishing is the main source of income for the people of Otuam. There are a few farmers, as well.

coronation. “That’s when I realized that something was wrong,” replied Peggy. As she expected, filling the role of king was met with opposition from her male counterparts, but she’s a strong woman who knows what she’s capable of achieving. “Peggy Bartels is a woman who is very levelheaded, very strong and doesn’t take no for an answer. She’s a woman that always thinks ahead,” replied Peggy.

A woman who had never supervised a group of people nor had children was now responsible for improving the livelihoods of thousands of people, helping to mold their future, revitalize their village and economic standing from halfway across the world.

“After my coronation and my first meeting, I had a tough time with them. I realized the town doesn’t have enough funds. They have embezzled the funds. There was no running water and the school wasn’t up to par and the hospital was in ruins. They don’t have good hospital beds and they don’t have medicine, and my palace was also in ruins.”

It became evident how poor the village was when she learned that she would have to pay for her

It had become evident to Peggy that it was time to begin developing a master plan for success so that

Fishing boats on Otuam’s coast [Courtesy of Eleanor Herman] 8 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012


Extraordinary Profiles

The old palace in ruins before King Peggy restored it [Courtesy of Eleanor Herman]

Otuam would become a town with a thriving economy and citizens who were self-reliant – a place that America would want to invest in. I said to them, “Listen, we’re going to have a meeting. We started the meeting at 4:00 a.m. in the morning and it ended at 8:00 p.m. that night, because they were really fighting me hard. I told them we’re going to have a bank, because you

can’t keep collecting fishing fees on my beach and also land fees and using it on yourselves. You have to use it in a wise way. Since there is no bank in the town, we’re going to have a bank.” They said, “No we’re not going to do it.” I said, "Yes, we’re going to do it.” It was a very big battle, but I won.”

The beautiful new palace after renovations [Courtesy of Eleanor Herman] July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 9


Extraordinary Profiles

As a humble secretary and down-to-earth person, Peggy remains true to her values and principles. She uses these attributes to help her make sound decisions that affect the 7,000 citizens of Otuam. Becoming the king of Otuam hasn’t changed Peggy's perspective on life, but it has given her renewed strength. Even though she’s Lady King Peggy, her American life remains the same. She's still employed as a secretary at the embassy in Washington, D.C., lives in her a one-bedroom apartment, cooks her own meals, and drives a 1992 Honda Accord. While living in America, Peggy continues to raise money and build invaluable relationships through her non-profit organization, the Otuam Community Development Corporation (OCDC), ocdcorp.org. Because of the relationships that she has built and through people she can trust in Otuam, she is able to make recommendations and rulings half a world away. However, it continues to be a trial and error process as she learns who she can and cannot trust. Peggy travels with her church to Otuam yearly during the fall season. Since becoming king, the people of Otuam are witnessing miraculous changes before their very eyes. In a town that once had no running water, a dilapidated palace, economic stagnation, and a very unstable educational system, there is hope and anticipation of growth. Peggy has implemented several improvements in the village. Through her non-profit organization, she has developed an invaluable relationship with her church in Maryland, the Shiloh Baptist Church

One of King Peggy’s new bore holes, which provide free public access to clean water [Courtesy of Sarah Preston]

of Landover. Her partnership with the church and others in the community have helped fund projects in Otuam, such as building wells so the village can have access to clean, running water. She has also renovated the royal palace. The overall mission of the OCDC is to enhance educational opportunities and improve access to healthcare for all citizens of Otuam and surrounding communities. The organization's purpose is to also cultivate economic growth, improve infrastructure and encourage Americans to invest in the revitalization of Otuam. A few current major projects on her agenda include equipping the town with an ambulance, obtaining schoolbooks and computers, building a computer lab for local students, and constructing a free library -- just a few of the many things necessary to begin building a solid foundation for a better Otuam. King Peggy has great hopes of restoring and revitalizing Otuam to become a place where its citizens can become self-reliant and prosperous within its economy. Now that Lady King Peggy has been in the driver’s seat for awhile, she’s armed with confidence and understands what it takes to become an agent of change, she is ready to take the world by storm; or at least the village of Otuam.

Pastor Be Louis Colleton of Shiloh Baptist Church in Landover, Maryland, presenting the covenant with Otuam to King Peggy [Courtesy of Peggielene Bartels] 10 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

The following is a brief segment of my interview with Lady King Peggy.


Extraordinary Profiles

King Peggy’s tsiami pouring libations to bless the water in the new bore holes [Courtesy of Eleanor Herman]

Monica: What a huge endeavor you have taken on to become the king of Otuam, Ghana. When you were considering the idea of becoming king, what were some things that were going through your mind to help you make that decision? King Peggy: To be honest with you, to be a king or queen or a chief in Africa, especially a small town or village, it comes with a lot of financial responsibilities. So, when I was chosen to become king of my town and my family – they have never chosen a woman as a king before – many things were going through my mind. I said to myself, here is a secretary and to be able to better the lives of 7,000 people in Otuam, it’s not going to be easy. At the same time, I thought about it very deeply. And I started hearing voices. At first I thought I was getting sick, but I heard voices and the voices kept telling me, “Nana it’s your destiny. It’s not everyday a woman is born to be a king or someone is born to be a king; go and people will help you

bring your town up the way God wants you to.” This went on for at least three days, and then I said, “Well, I have to take it.” That’s when I accepted the offer to become king. Monica: Once you accepted the role, when did it sink in that you were actually king of a village? King Peggy: It sunk in when I went home for the coronation. After I was in my palanquin, seeing the people in a very festive atmosphere and they were very happy, I looked around and said, "Wow this is really true, I’m a king.” Monica: You’re on a fascinating journey, and you have a huge endeavor ahead of you. How do you feel about what you will encounter as you move forward to govern the village of Otuam? King Peggy: Well, I am a woman. It's going to be a challenge for me because it’s a woman taking a man’s role. I have to prove myself. I realize that not everybody is going to love you, being a woman who will rule over them. Most of my elders and the July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 11


Extraordinary Profiles

people in the town -- elderly people who are men are set in their ways. For them to see a woman coming in to tell them what to do, even though they have chosen me through God and my ancestors, there are going to be some rebellious people. Also the town is not rich; we have a lot of work to be done and it’s going to be a journey that is not easy, but I know with my God and my ancestors I’m going to prevail. Monica: Since becoming king of Otuam, do you view yourself as an agent of change, or simply someone who wants to make a difference in the lives of others? King Peggy: I see myself as someone who really wants to help others to bring changes to their lives, because if I was chosen as a king, I see myself as an anointed king. Therefore, I see myself as one who was chosen to bring changes to the lives of people who need to be helped. Monica: Do you anticipate building international relationships? King Peggy: Yes. Being a leader, you have to give of yourself. I’m giving of myself in terms of helping my people and also being humble so people can relate to me. I’m not going to be a king in a palace where you have to have a chip on your shoulder. I just want to be the people’s king where people can communicate with me and get to know who I am, what my mission is and what I want to accomplish. I don’t want to be a king in a palace without helping people. I’m a woman on a mission, and I have to do great missionary work, so

King Peggy and Papa Warrior at the Shiloh Baptist Church in Maryland [Courtesy of Peggielene Bartels] 12 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

that I will be able to tell God when I see him face-to-face, “You sent me on a mission, and the mission is accomplished.” Monica: In the short time that you have been nana, you have achieved remarkable results. What do you think that says about women and their ability to become effective rulers or leaders? King Peggy: To be honest with you, women are good. I tend to say the same thing when I go to speak and there are men in the room. I say, “Please don’t be mad with me because I’m telling the truth.” As women, we do things with all of our heart. If we can deliver babies -- even though I don’t have a child -- but from what I understand it’s a very painful situation. If we can do that, bring a human being into the world, nurture the person to grow up to be whomever the person wants to be, then women are very strong. We have to follow whatever our strengths are. If I hadn’t become king, I wouldn’t know that I have that kind of strength. I knew that I was a strong person but not in this area, where I have been able to bring about changes to the lives of people in a town of 7,000 inhabitants. Women are really strong. We have to see ourselves as people who can bring about changes and compete with men. We have to let them know that we can succeed where they have failed.  To make a contribution to the revitalization of Otuam, visit the Otuam Community Development Corporation at www.ocdcorp.org. Stay tuned for the in-depth video interview with Lady King Peggy.

King Peggy: An American Secretary, Her Royal Destiny, and the Inspiring Story of How She Changed an African Village—By Peggielene Bartels and Eleanor Herman Available at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.randomhouse.com.


Surround yourself with remarkable, influential and successful people without leaving home! Fresh Perspectives * Life-Enriching Information * Proven Advice Encourage your friends, coworkers and business associates to subscribe to Exceptional People Magazine today! www.exceptionalmag.com/subscribe.html


Minding My Business

Tips for when you’re the boss:   



Don’t make hasty decisions or announcements. Avoid criticizing employees in the presence of others. Don't interfere in the personal affairs of your employees. Unless absolutely necessary, avoid contacting employees or scheduling meetings on weekends . Do not show favoritism. Some employees will try to curry favor with you.

These tips will help make your employees more productive.


Minding My Business

Four Simple BARON Tips That Can Help Get Your Business Massive Media Exposure By William R. Patterson

2. Join a free PR lead service such as: HARO - Help a Reporter Out http://www.helpareporter.com/

PitchRate.com http://www.pitchrate.com/ Reporter Connection http://www.reporterconnection.com/ 3. When contacting media representatives, you can secure more interviews and press coverage by having a hard copy press kit and "media room" available on your website where information about you and your company can be viewed and downloaded. Your press kit and online media room should include: • A one-page interview sheet with a positioning state-

1. Send press releases using a quality distribution service and tie them to human interest stories and national holidays and events. You will find several national event calendars to help you get started below. Holiday Smart http://www.holidaysmart.com/ U.S. Holidays and Popular Dates http://www.madmanmike.com/us_holidays_dates.html LibrarySupportStaff.com http://www.librarysupportstaff.com/

• • • • • •

ment, brief biography, suggested topics, and mock interview questions Full biography Professional head shots (Both low-resolution for web and high-resolution for print) Press releases Previous press coverage and interviews Sample Q&A Articles you have written that magazines, newspapers, and websites can run

4. Once you have the budget, you should retain a good publicist as soon as possible. A publicist will have a list of established media contacts and will make it much easier to book interviews and secure media coverage. Most importantly, a publicist will free up valuable time for you to focus on your business rather than doing media follow-ups. 

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 15


Minding My Business

Create Balance in Your Life Life— — Set Professional and Personal Boundaries

By Alexandra Watson

Dear Alexandra, As a small business owner, everything is about running and keeping my business afloat. I’m finding it hard to have time for a personal life. When I get with people in my line of business, two things happen: (1) they want me to mentor them for free; or (2) they want to sell me their services when all I want is a friend. How can you separate your business and personal life when they are one in the same? Answer: There are many joys to being an entrepreneur – the freedom to do what we please when we please, the ability to create a dream from scratch, put our mark on the world in whichever way we choose and to be much more in control of our lives. Yet the downside can be the loneliness. Very often we can be alone for days on end working away and not seeing anybody other than the postman! I know you would never dream of returning to the corporate world because you love what you do, but this dilemma you have is part of the territory, at least for now. What you need to do is establish boundaries. The fact that you see your business life and personal life as one is a key indicator that you have not set proper boundaries for your life and in your relationships. Your business life should be your business life, and your personal life should be your personal life. Rethink how you approach your search for friends because just using your industry as a base is bound to create fuzzy and complicated results. When people socialize at work 16 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

there can be business agendas attached, so if you’re looking for a clean slate and a true friend then you’re going have to make a shift beyond your existing comfort zone. Take a chance and extend your reach by joining clubs, leisure groups or start a new hobby, for example. This gives you a chance to meet people with common interests away from your work and gives you the vitally important down time needed to reenergize. I have a sneaking suspicion, like most business owners, you work long hours most days and treat weekends as a time to catch up with even more work! It is very easy to burnout living that way and so you need to create new habits for your personal life, beginning with the following tips: 1) Have a set start and end time to your day: Do not let your work invade your personal time. Work will always fill the time you allot it, so you may find that you are much more efficient when you have a limited time to work on your business. 2) Schedule ‘play’ time: If you don’t mark evenings and weekends ahead of time with plans for fun activities then you’ll never get to do them. Nothing will change if you can’t manage this simple strategy. 3) Do some journaling about who you are outside of your business: You need to begin to realize that your business is not your identity. You are much more than that. Expand your life and don’t be anxious about changing your routines. Keep in mind that as you do this, you may feel a small bit of anxiety. It’s perfectly normal as you begin to redefine who you are and the life you most want to live. 4) Talk with your current friends: Gently let them know that you’re not open to a conversation about your business, and you don’t feel you can be their coach and their friend at the same time. You’d much rather be their friend. If you’re worried about their reaction then give them some space and I’m sure after some time they will come round. And if by chance they don’t, then it will be no loss to you. The next part of the equation is to become far more productive at work. There is no use being your own boss if you are going to work yourself into the ground and have no ‘me’ time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.


Minding My Business

It’s not surprising that you feel a little jaded, tired, exhausted and foggy. You weren’t meant to work this hard for such little reward. Life can be so frustrating when everything seems so small and what you really want for yourself seems like it is never going to show up. You don’t need me to tell you that life can be one great big rollercoaster ride with exhilarating highs and terrifying dips and loops and while you need the lows to appreciate the highs, what we all really want is more highs! I call it ‘living the Big Life’. In order to experience the ride with more highs, you have to create some internal shifts, mix things up a little and make a few, but very essential decisions about what you do from now on. For me personally, I’ve just began what I call my ‘New Big Life’ – I did already subscribe to my old big life, but I soon realized that I had outgrown it because I was experiencing awkwardness where there was usually harmony, frustration and bliss. So I decided to UPGRADE everything both personally and professionally – I wanted this decision to include everything and everyone important in my life. We should never ignore our feelings. You feel the way you do right now for a reason, namely; things aren’t right the way they are, so now is the time to improve things. All emotions should be acted upon in a positive way because they are usually a sign that things need to move forward and that you’re ready for the next level. Stepping up to your own big life means simply saying ‘Yes!’ to it and the subsequent possibilities, challenges and delights knowing that this is MEANT to be and you are deserving of it and have always been READY. When you do, you’ll quickly find that questions you may have about your life become answered, you grow and therefore feel more confident, happier and attract more success. It’s a no-brainer really when you think about it…so think about it for a moment. When was the last time you stepped up and made a concerted move forward? What did that action bring to your life both in the short and long term? I guarantee that whenever you say YES to the next level, no matter what it initially ‘costs’ you, you will never, ever regret it. You know deep down inside you that its time, it’s YOUR time to SHINE!

owners, we are the ones to blame. We hold ourselves back through fear. So let’s check in shall we? How is it going for you? What’s happened this week that’s been good? What’s happened that’s challenged you? Have you been able to take action and move forward? Take it from me; there is nothing like the feeling of making progress, real progress; whether it’s emotionally, physically, professionally or spiritually. We should all be focusing our efforts on being able to balance work and personal issues and finding a way to feel satisfied and happy with who we are and what we have achieved. To me, progress is simply about expressing who you really are authentically. Nothing else makes us feel quite so connected and on track when we can express ourselves in many different ways. Being a mother, a wife, a sister, daughter, friend and a coach/author/mentor does it for me -- yes it’s a juggle but I love it! If you don’t ever get to address the balance successfully or feel you are doing a good job in any area, then you will always feel frustrated, exhausted, sad and disconnected. The real beauty is that being yourself and expressing who you are is effortless. You don’t have to pretend to be somebody you’re not in order to balance your life and enjoy it. You don’t have to fake it until you make it and you don’t have to be who you think others want you to be. You are simply you. When you allow this, you make progress, you allow success, you accept abundance and you feel amazing. Imagine being 100% confident about who you are and what you want. How would that make a difference to your life and those around you? What has to happen in order for you to be and feel fully authentic and empowered? Do you have to let go of something first? What is your biggest fear when it comes to this? Whatever fears lie beneath the surface need to be expelled now so you’re free to live up to your expectations of yourself and your business. No man or woman is an island and no one has ever been successful without the help and support of friends, so now is your time to build strong boundaries, expand your life and become fearless. 

Are you allowing yourself to fully shine now? From my experience of coaching and mentoring hundreds of business July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 17


Turning Disappointment Into a Winning Strategy for Entrepreneurial Success


Minding My Business

Have you ever worked so hard for something and just as you see your dream coming to fruition, it's snatched from you? How did you move on from there? Did have a back-up plan? Do you believe in having plan B or C, or you are determined to make a success of plan A? Will Overstreet knows all too well the answers to those questions. As a young kid growing up, playing football was his passion. Becoming a professional football player was his dream. From childhood to high school and college, he knew he was destined to play the game. His dream became a reality when he played as a linebacker with the

after making it, you exit. Really and truly, it’s not like having a job that you succeed at in the business world, where you’re terminated by IBM or another company and you’re leading a team or you’re a salesperson. You can find another job with another company, probably pretty close to the same salary. When football ends, you lose a lot of things. There’s no way to take your experience in football and make anywhere close the same amount of money. You have to start all over.” Start over he did, but in the process Overstreet devised an idea that has enabled him and his team to create a communications business that is allowing companies to engage millions of customers through his company’s communications solutions.

training camp, I was hit from behind. I landed on my shoulder and it was dislocated. I continued to play but my shoulder continued to dislocate. Eventually I needed major surgery to repair it. For the next six months after doing rehab and getting back into the swing of things, the first day of the regular season I was playing against the Dallas Cowboys. I tried to recover a fumble and my shoulder was once again dislocated. I returned a few days later and it happened again. I had to have another surgery. At that point it wasn’t the same. The following year my shoulder was again injured during training camp. The doctor looked at me and said, “We can keep doing this, but my ad-

Will Overstreet Atlanta Falcons in 2002. Not long after that Overstreet had to answer the question, “What do I do now?” As a result of numerous shoulder injuries his football career ended abruptly about one year into his professional career.

Today, as the CEO of Voices Heard Media, Overstreet shares his thoughts on the lessons he’s learned from playing football, dealing with disappointments, having to begin a new career, starting a new business, and how he plans to move the company forward.

It wasn’t as if he could quickly find a position similar to the one he had in football. His next decision would require deep thought and contemplation. He would have to answer the following questions: “What am I going to do with the rest of my life? What will be my next chosen field?”

Monica: Would you mind giving me a little background about your football career and why it became a shortlived career?

Overstreet recalls, “You work for years and years and you’re good enough to be there, and you have the talent and ability, and you spend all that time working to get there. It’s your dream job. However, shortly

Will: I grew up in Jackson, Mississippi. I was fortunate enough to be recruited by several universities, and I ended up going to the University of Tennessee. We started off very well and we won the national championship. While I played, I was drafted in 2002 by the Atlanta Falcons. From there I was positioned to be the starter my rookie year. On the last day of

vice to you is to find another profession.” That’s exactly what I did. Monica: You played football in high school and in college, so I’m sure you were very excited about being drafted by the Atlanta Falcons. I would imagine once you realized that you were not going to play football anymore, that was a disappointment to you. Will: Yes. You can just look in the news to see how other people handle it. You have a mid-life crisis very early in life. You work for years and years, and you’re good enough to be there, and you have the talent and ability. You spend all that time working to get there. It’s your dream job. However, shortly after making it, you exit. Really and truly, it’s not like having a job in the business world

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 19


Minding My Business

where your position is terminated by IBM or another company. You can find another job with another company, probably earning pretty close to the same salary. When football ends, you lose a lot of things. There’s no way to take your experience in football and make the same amount of money. You have to start all over. Monica: What were some things that went through your mind when you realized that a football career was not going to happen? Will: The main question you ask is, “What do I do now?” That’s a question that a lot of guys who play really struggle with, because our identities are tied to football. If you search my name on the internet, to this very day I’m a football player. So it’s not only a job change, but it’s an identity change that you have to go through as well. It really is about rebranding yourself and trying to determine what you want to do in life. To play big time college football you really haven’t been able to do any internships, you haven’t had the time

to work a part-time job, so you really are starting from the bottom of the barrel. As great as it is that a lot of people remember your name and know you, it really doesn’t carry over. They’ll want to talk to you but you have to figure out a way to take that relationship and name recognition and turn it into something. Monica: I don’t believe the ordinary person watching the game versus some one who's playing it truly understands that you have so much on the line as a football player. When something happens and you’re no longer in the spotlight, then you have to rebuild your foundation and start over. Will: Yes, exactly. You’re forced to start over. You were living your passion – something you fought for, for many years and were designed to do. You were blessed with the ability to do it, and it’s an eye-opening experience. Now you’re thinking how I am going to pay the bills, and what I am going to do with my life. Even if you play for ten years in the NFL you’re still in your early 30’s when you’re done. It doesn’t matter if you’re very successful or not, you still have to find something else to do. So it’s tough. Monica: Looking back on that experience, what would you say is the best lesson that you’ve learned from it? Will: Wow, that’s a good question. You have to set your goals early on in life. I remember as a kid probably when I was in 7th or 8th grade, I made a bet with my father that if I received a full scholarship in football he would have to buy me a new car. At the time he’d say, “Sure, okay. Whatever.” I think one of the best things you learn is how to set goals

20 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

and, rightly or wrongly, it gives you the confidence once you’ve been able to achieve them. I also think that a football player or a person on that scale is more comfortable with the fear of failure because even though you’ve been good at the sport, you also had games where you were terrible. You had to pick yourself up and not think of yourself horribly but instead say, “That was a bad game; I have to perform better.” I always say to anyone who wants to start a business, “You have to be comfortable with the possibility of it going away. You have to be able to say, “If this ends, I’m I going to be okay.” If you can do that, then you can start your own business. If you can come to that mental place and say if this totally fails I’m going to able to recover and pick myself up; you're on the right track. I think you have to look at that and ask yourself, “Am I willing to take that risk? Am I going to have the support and the ability to pick myself up to start over again?” Most people are probably more afraid of failing than the possibilities of succeeding. You can’t be uncertain about that. You have to be able to move on and not be paralyzed by fear. Monica: Would you say you are a person who believes in having plans B and C, or are you a person who says, “I am determined to make Plan A work?” Will: I’m determined to make Plan A work, but I’m always trying to learn what I can do better. I want to be more valuable to either the next organization, or the next time I start a company I'll know what to do differently. It’s about building your skill set and improving your own value, so


Minding My Business

that you can become a valuable asset to someone else should you decide to exit what you’re doing. Monica: You are the CEO and Cofounder of a company called Voices Heard Media, Inc. Tell me about your vision and the mission of the company. Will: The original idea came from my background in football and also from doing radio and television broadcasting. Fans want to feel they have a connection to athletes, celebrities and even celebrities on radio and television. Talk radio was simply derived from the phenomenon of being able to connect with the individual and voice your opinion. So if I have thousands of people who want to communicate with me and want to make that connection, how do you scale that? You can only touch so many people at once. We decided to build a system in a way that would allow us to collect questions from the internet or text messages, for example. One of the things I realized when speaking with fans and celebrities and answering their questions about football, is that even though questions are posed differently, large groups of people ask very similar questions. From that I thought if we can present a system that will basically read through questions and determine if they are similar in meaning, then we will be able to rank and prioritize those questions for the athlete or celebrity, so when they take the time to respond to their audience, they won't be responding to the loudest voice or the most recent item they’ve received. Instead, they will be talking and reacting to the largest percentage of their audience.

That was the original idea and then social media evolved. It became a much larger issue and people wanted to engage with us. They wanted to do it in a fun and connected way. So it really evolved not just around that one product, but around several different products that were about focusing on how to get the user to participate and communicate with our customers. We want to make it scalable and easy to do, while providing benefits to the user, whether that’s being a participant in a contest, being able to get an answer to a question, or receive educational benefit. We arrange this around social content and engagement so that people can participate and interact as a group. I think the internet and social media have defined themselves as a different platform. Initially when you went to the internet, radio stations took their radio feeds and put them on their websites, newspapers took their information and put it on their websites, and TV stations did the same thing. The internet has designed itself as a very different medium in that it’s not a push communication, such as, here’s the paper or here’s the TV story, but it is a push-pull between the user and the property. So that’s what people expect, and you have to be able to provide that. Monica: To make sure I understand how your technology works, let's say I go onto Fox’s website and I submit a question that I have for a particular celebrity. The celebrity reads my question, questions from others and responds. Will: Yes. Through our system we provide an application for visitors to submit their questions and then our system looks through all of the questions that are being asked and using

algorithms it determines if questions are unique or if they are similar in meaning and have already been asked several times. If it finds that match, it groups those together and ranks them in order of how many times they were asked. We also have voting capabilities, so both applications together show whoever is answering questions the most important things that the audience wants to know. Answers will be provided to all individuals who ask similar questions. So you're making a personal connection scalable. If someone is on your website, you don’t want to tell them to go communicate with you on Facebook. That’s one more click where you’re going to lose them. For a lot of businesses they need to be careful how they use Facebook, because it could be hurting your business model. We work with Facebook and Twitter in a lot of different ways, but business owners have to think about the end result – what they are trying to do, how they are going to do it and whether it's practical for their business model.

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 21


Minding My Business

Monica: So rather than sending a person to my Twitter or Facebook page, they would come to my website and be able communicate with me on any of those social platforms through my website, thereby remaining on my website versus going to the other platforms. Will: Bingo. Exactly. A company only controls their brand on their website. Once you get someone on your website, you want them to stay as long as possible. Monica: Your company has existed for five years. Are you satisfied with the growth? Do you think that if you had done things differently you would be further ahead? Will: I am optimistically happy with what I’ve seen over the last year, but I’m not satisfied. We could have done things a lot better and a lot faster. There are several decisions that I kick myself for. Monica: Would you mind sharing a couple of those?

Will: I think the first one that we should have done a little differently was that at one point in time rather than hiring a sales force, we should have leveraged and channeled partners and groups to work with. We could have worked through their trusted relationships with customers to develop those relations and accomplish things that we did as a niche player to benefit both companies. This is what we do well. The main one thing -- and I don’t believe it’s anything I did wrong, but it was my lack of experience. I went from playing football to getting my MBA, to television and radio, and then I came up with this crazy idea to start a company. Now I look back on it and I think, “You were arrogant and you did not know what you did not know.” More than any of the mistakes and the things that I regret, I am now wondering if I started this company today in half the time for half the money, would we be where we are. The other part is where our business is today and why I’m even more optimistic. A few years ago, if I had a conversation with a media company, I would have had to take them from start to finish about why this is important. I remember one conversation I had with a guy who said, “Who in the heck wants to talk to their customers?” Sometimes you wonder why this is so hard and you realize a year or two later that you’re early, so you have to stay in business long enough for the market to catch up. Monica: Would you say that football in some way helped prepare you to start your business, for example, in terms of learning how to work with people and make important decisions?

22 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

Will: It definitely did. Football teaches you work ethic. It teaches you how to have something bad happen and not focus on it but recover from it and go on to the next thing. If you keep your eyes and ears open, you can learn from some very good leaders -- leaders who motivate various individuals with personal goals that may not align. They have to determine how to have this diverse group of individuals align their personal goals and motivate them to move in a direction that’s best for the entire organization. That’s an invaluable trait if you learn it. Monica: How do you motivate your team and keep them excited about what you're doing? Will: I think the most important thing is that you have to sell your team first. You have to sell them on the vision. If that’s not communicated well and consistently, you’re not going to have that ability to motivate them. I think the other thing is aligning incentives around what’s good for the company. I also think it is very important to be able to quickly assess if someone will not be a good team member. Monica: What are some characteristics that you look for in a potential team member? Will: Definitely an energetic personality, a good communicator – these people are usually very successful. You obviously look for hard workers, but you want to find people who want to succeed for more than just a paycheck. They want to be a part of something larger, they’re not there just to collect a paycheck and go home. Small companies don’t survive with that kind of mentality. So you have to find people who want to be a part of something bigger, who can be


Minding My Business

proud of the company's success and proud to say they are a part of it. Monica: In the beginning, you were a small entrepreneur, so what other advice can you give to the small business owner about being focused and making sure they are building a solid foundation?

Will: That’s a good question. With what we do today, obviously I don’t want to go away from the communications and engagement side of it. We see an exciting opportunity in the reporting and analytics side that can enhance our understanding of not just the questions that audience members want answered, but who are they.

Will: The first thing is that they have to ruthlessly prioritize what they need to get done. They have to start their day by asking, “What are the most important things that I’m going to concentrate on?” That needs to be a limited number of things. It doesn’t need to be a list of 50 items. It needs to be a list of less than 10, and the less there are the more successful you will be. You have to do that with the team as well.

As a company, we’d also like to be more creative. We want to push the boundaries of the things we all get excited about. When we work with customers, we're not only interested in what we do today but other problems that we may be able to solve.

You also have to start with the end in mind. You have to develop a sustainable business model. Business does not change; you have to bring in more than you spend. As creative as your service or your product is, you also have to be creative about how your sales model and pricing model will work.

Will: Exactly. The one thing that we learned and how we grew as a company, was by talking to customers and learning about other problems that we could solve. That made us better as individuals, and it made our products better. It helped us better understand the market. The key for us is to always listen and be innovative.

The thing that I’ve learned from a software point of view is that as much time as you spend taking care of your ‘baby’ and designing great software, think about the creative ways you can get your product out into the market and the different ways you can price it.

Monica: Yes, the key is to continuously engage your customers, so that they become long-term customers, not just one-time customers. What advice can you offer others about disappointment, moving past it and making the best of negative experiences?

Monica: That is excellent. I can tell you’ve learned a lot. Will: Yes, the hard way. Monica: Where do you see your company within the next three to five years? What would you like to be doing by that time?

Monica: That probably means that in addition to building upon the technology platform you already have, you're interested in creating new technology.

Will: I think the first thing is to set a time to be sad, disappointed and angry and be done with it. Take time to figure out what you learned from it and move on. When I left football and I was trying to figure out what my next career path was going to be, I was very confused

at the time and I didn’t really know the answer. I remember talking to my father and he said, “I don’t care what it is, but do something. It doesn’t have to be your most favorite job or the one you’re going to do for the next 20 or 30 years, but get out there and be involved and you’ll find your path.” There will be doors that will open and doors that will close, but that’s how you’ll find what you want to do and what you should be doing. Monica: What’s your final word? Will: The one thing I learned from football is that the only thing you can do each day is get better or get worse. You never stay the same. So if you can come to the end of each day and say, “I got better,” then it was a good day. People who think they can just coast and continue on the same path -- they’re getting worse, because someone else is getting better. 

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 23


Minding My Business

Breaking Through Income Barriers by Stepping Into Your Power with Money By Annemarie Cross The money stories she had grown up with; the way her parents managed their money – in particular her mother’s spending habits – had become a major influence on Susanna’s life. Taking a step back in her business and asking herself some poignant questions she was finally able to see how her family’s money legacy and her beliefs were the reason why she was struggling to reach her income goals. Here are some of the ways Susanna’s relationship with money was showing up for her in her business. By not standing in her power with money, Susanna would often: • Reduce her fee when providing a quote to a prospect

Replace image

• Cave in and offer a discount even after she had quoted

her normal fees • Go over the allocated time in her coaching session

Money is often something we don’t talk about with our friends and colleagues, other than the occasional complaint that there’s ‘never enough’ or ‘it’s something you have to work hard for’ – or another similar comment.

• Not track her income • Not check her bills/accounts/credit card statement to

ensure all the charges were accurate The reason I’ve pulled back the covers on this ‘taboo’ subject is because the relationship you have with money can seriously undermine your business’s success. A few months ago I met Susanna – a Life Coach. She had been marketing her services on a daily basis and attending regular networking meetings. However despite all of her hard work her dreams of building a thriving business remained out of reach.

• Not follow up on errors she had found on her bills / ac-

counts / credit card statement • Not follow up on overdue accounts that other people

owed her Do you recognize any of them? What about these? Not Charging What You’re Worth:

What Susanna failed to realize was that even with the best business-building strategies in place, because she hadn’t addressed her mindset and the beliefs she had around money, these were now keeping her from reaching her income goals. 24 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

• Not contacting a client to re-negotiate your fee when

you realize the project they’ve hired you for is clearly far more complicated and involved than what they led you to believe


Minding My Business

• Not increasing your fees even though you’ve been

charging a far lower rate than your competitors AND you’re delivering far better results than everyone else

• Making excuses for one of your team members who’s

NOT pulling their weight • Not following up with a supplier when they haven’t

• Including entirely too much content in your coaching

met a promised deadline

programs • Settling for second best and/or accepting something • Being at the beck and call of your clients and drop-

ping everything whenever they contact you – even the smallest of things which should have been handled by your team • Being far too accessible for your clients and not

charging enough for that privilege

from a supplier when the quality they promised is not delivered Your Spending Habits: • Buying things that you clearly don’t need and that just

end up collecting dust, alongside all of the other things you’ve bought (that you also didn’t need)

• Thinking you’re not good enough and NOT launch-

ing your programs

• Buying things for other people that they didn’t need

and just end up collecting dust Ineffective Systems: • Spending outside your means because you want to fit in • Not having a bold money goal • Not putting away money and having a kitty that you

can draw upon for any unexpected situations • Not keeping a filing system to streamline the tracking

and scheduling of your accounts

with other people • Spending money – not because you need the item but

because the act of spending makes you feel good • NOT spending anything on yourself and being too

frugal

• Paying your accounts late and getting late fines

How many of these do you recognize?

• Not regularly reconciling your bank accounts / state-

To step into your power with money (and no longer throw money away):

ments / credit cards • Not knowing how much money you owe • Not taking an interest in your business’s financial

situation and saying “Oh, my accountant/bookkeeper knows all of that”

• Plug up those money leaks by making a commitment to

yourself to NOT do any of the things I’ve mentioned above • Develop some systems/processes to keep you on track

to avoid falling back into those old bad money habits • Not being able to understand the important elements

of your business’s profit and loss and other business reports

• Get creative and make a Money Vision Board • Stop complaining about that team member and finally

• Not having a budget in place • Not sticking to your budget and overspending

hire someone that will provide you with the level of support you need to take your business to the next level 

Tolerating Support Team & Supplier Inefficiencies: • Bartering and doing contra deals being the ONLY

way you get support for your business July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 25


Minding My Business

Whether you’re just starting up your business or you’re launching a program, one of the greatest challenges that you may be struggling with is deciding what to charge. If you are, don’t worry. Many service-based businesses struggle with this. I did when I first started out in business – some 15 years ago! I admit that back in those early years I would see what my competitors were charging and use this figure as a

My clients (who go through the Unearth Your Brilliance Branding program) are constantly surprised with the feedback they receive from their colleagues identifying their strengths and brand attributes. It’s not until they see similar responses from several of their contacts that they begin to recognize and understand what makes them unique. Ask yourself:

Five Mistakes to Avoid When Pricing Your Services By Annemarie Cross

benchmark. Or, I would ask some of my closest friends and colleagues for their advice on what they believed would be a suitable price range.

a. What are one or two things that you find easy to do (i.e. organize things; handle problems; overcome technical issues etc)?

Maybe this is something you’re doing now. If you are, I can tell you it will only lead to feelings of confusion, frustration and burn out. Why? Because following these methods only leads to you significantly undervaluing and undercharging your worth. Trust me, I’ve been there.

b. What are the common characteristics, skills and strengths you use to deliver successful outcomes?

To help you, here are the top five mistakes that you’ll want to avoid when pricing your services:

Answering these questions will help you start building a skills and strength inventory.

1. Not recognizing your strengths and talents

2. Pricing Your Services by the Hour

Many service-based business owners devalue their strengths and talents because they don’t recognize the true value and benefits they offer their customers.

Jim Rohn said: ‘You don’t charge the client for the hour – you charge them for the value you bring to that hour.’

c. What do your colleagues seek your support and assistance with because you’re known as the ‘go-to’ person in this area?

Therefore, using a business model that’s based on you charging clients

26 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

by the hour leads to burnout and frustration. This is because there are only so many hours in the day. As many business owners don’t recognize their strengths and value, they continue to underrate and undercharge their services. Instead of charging by the hour: a. Create packages that include more than just a coaching session with you. Consider including an eBook, an audio, mastermind groups or a forum where your clients can network with like-minded business professionals. b. You could also send out a weekly online journal that prompts the client to action between coaching sessions to keep them working and moving toward their goals. 3. Comparing Yourself to Your Competitors There are many things you can’t take into consideration when comparing your services to that of your competitors. Even if you’re able to identify qualifications, background or years of experience, they don’t have your strengths, value and unique qualities so it’s difficult to compare apples with apples. Also, the last thing you want to do is get into a pricing war with your competitors – particularly for a servicebased business. Unlike a business that sells products, you can’t mass produce your time and therefore should not undercut your competitors by charging a lower fee. Instead of measuring yourself against your competitors:


Minding My Business

a. Aim to identify what makes you unique and different in what you stand for and in the programs that you develop. This will allow you to create a strong brand (and reputation) that is unique and quite distinct from what your competitors are offering. b. Look at the knowledge, experience and support you offer your clients and put a value on the results you can help your clients achieve. c. Measure yourself on YOUR personal best and not what your competitors are doing. 4. Offering Discounts as a Desperate Bid to Get a ‘Yes’ Extending a discount as the only way to get the client to say ‘yes’ to your offer only serves to devalue your expertise and credibility. It also does little to boost your self-confidence as you strive to build a successful profitable business. Instead of slashing your price: a. Offer a quick-action one-off special price to prompt the client to make their decision. b. Offer a reduction if the client pays you in full for the entire program. c. Offer a bonus (or bonuses/special gifts) to make your offer truly irresistible. For more ideas, read the article: “3 Reasons Why Discounting Could Be Damaging Your Reputation,” in this section. 5. ‘Assuming’ What Your Clients (and the market) Will Pay

and quoting a significantly reduced price because it’s what you “assume” that’s all they can pay? One of my colleagues was speaking to a potential client, however due to the clothes the prospect was wearing, “assumed” she would baulk at the fee.

Why Small Businesses Should Consider an SBA Loan by Donna Carletta

After the fee was mentioned, to my colleague’s surprise, the prospect responded with “How soon can you book me. Is it o.k. if I pay in cash today?” The lesson here is: Don’t make assumptions. Like my colleague, you may be (pleasantly) surprised at what your ideal client is willing to invest when he/she believes you have the solution to help them solve their problems – once and for all. Which of course you have! Undervaluing and undercharging your services only ends in disappointment for both yourself and your clients. Just like the employee whose salary is well below their worth and ends up disgruntled and despondent – you too can end up feeling undervalued, underpaid and unhappy because of the low fee you’re charging. You don’t want to feel like that when you continue to work with that client do you? Remember, get clear on the skills, strengths and benefits you bring to the client and be willing to ask for an investment level that recognizes the value and amazing results your clients will achieve through working with you. After all, you’re worth it – right?! 

When it comes to financing, many small business owners think of the Small Business Administration as a lender of last resort. While their Office of Disaster Assistance speeds funds to borrowers affected by natural disasters, its main function is facilitating loans to viable businesses. In the 2008 financial crisis, the SBA facilitated 70,000 loans to businesses, most of which would normally have been eligible for conventional bank loans. Banks participating in the SBA loans say business owners often believe funding is from the government, but it isn't, which is why some lenders don't participate.

How many times do you find yourself making excuses for your prospects July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 27


Minding My Business

Loans issued through the SBA's popular 7a program carry a government guarantee of 75 percent to 85 percent. That means the banks have to cover a loss of up to 25 percent if the loan goes bad.

Book Review By Kathy Kentty

As with any loan, a borrower has to have property or assets to secure a certain percentage of the loan amount. The interest rate on 7a program loans is the prime rate plus 2.25 percent for less than seven years. It's prime plus 2.75 percent for a loan term greater than or equal to seven years, according to Wells Fargo Bank.

How Long it Takes to Get an SBA Loan Borrowers often assume it will take months to close an SBA loan. That isn't so. The process typically involves a six-week processing period, assuming the borrower is prepared up front, according to Hope Enterprise Corp. in Jackson, Miss. Normal processing time is about six weeks. The paperwork involved is pretty much consistent with a conventional loan, such as financial statements and tax returns. 

Get the cover

Do It Right for Yourself and the Company

In his latest book, Six Fundamentals of Success: Getting it Right for Yourself and Your Organization, author Stuart Levine shows readers how to refocus their energies on the constants of business success--satisfying customers, doing what you say you'll do, communicating clearly and regularly, and developing strong relationships. In a refreshingly frank manner, Levine, CEO of Stuart Levine & Associates, a leadership training company, spells out exactly how to achieve these goals through his six time-tested principles: * Make sure everything you do adds value * Know how to deliver results * Conduct yourself and your business with integrity * Invest in relationships * Communicate up and down, inside and out * Gain perspective In more than 80 short, specific rules of one or two pages, he instructs you on how to make each of these fundamentals work. He covers the most effective ways to behave, respond, and motivate others. Levine tells leaders and managers to respect themselves first; always act ethically; work with a sense of urgency; and become financially literate. Other important matters he covers include matters that may seem obvious, but are actually far from it, such as saying thank-you; keeping meetings focused; not letting others define who you are; and making a practice of sharing all the news, good and bad. It may sound as if this book is written only for the boss. It is actually aimed at people at all levels. Levine was previously CEO of Dale Carnegie & Associates and was the coauthor of the bestselling book, The Leader in You. Six Fundamentals of Success: Getting it Right For Yourself and Your Organization by Stuart R. Levine, 240 pages. 

28 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012


Minding My Business

Do You Smell When You Negotiate By Greg Williams

When you negotiate, how do you smell? Stated differently, what aura do you emit? When you negotiate, you secrete a sensation that’s conveyed through your actions. It’s a sensation that can be sensed by those with whom you negotiate. Quickly read this article to gain insight into nine strategies you can employ to alter the persona you project in a negotiation and in the process, increase your negotiation advantages. 1. Stagecraft – When you negotiate, the way you present your position, evokes different emotions. Therefore, always consider how you will position your offerings, the timing, and the manner in which you present them. By doing so, you’ll decrease the level of anxiety you experience and lower the level of stress you place upon yourself during the negotiation. 2. Seek to understand, before disagreeing. The best way to do so is to refrain from being arbitrarily judgmental, when the other negotiator makes counter offers. Remember to maintain an open mind. 3. Where possible, use ‘real life’ stories to underscore your offerings. Stories will humanize you, which will subliminally ingratiate you to the other negotiator. In the process, you’ll be perceived as more trustworthy. 4. When you speak of negotiation outcomes, sell the benefits they will

have to the other negotiator (e.g. if you buy this golf club, versus the other one, this one will help you cut three strokes off your game).

in future negotiations. If they do, she might be the one in the ‘power position’ and disdain you. 9. Practice the ABC’s of negotiation:

5. Use brevity when/where possible. While some people believe they are more impressive when reciting a soliloquy, being direct with your verbiage will allow you to be perceived as more persuasive. 6. When negotiating and confronted by someone that’s indecisive, don’t forget the formula, ‘problem, agitate, solve’. Highlight the problem, exacerbate it, and then offer a solution that eliminates the pain by taking action. Make the other negotiator ‘feel’ the relief he’ll experience by not incurring the negativity that would stem from not taking action.

• A – Hold yourself Accountable for

your actions. • B – When possible, be Benevolent. • C – Be Conscientious of your ac-

tions throughout the negotiations and those of the other negotiator as they transpire around you. Sometimes, a negotiation can be daunting, but when you adhere to the propositions above, you will experience more fulfilling negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world. 

7. When a negotiation does not bear the outcome you seek, thank the other negotiator before you conclude the negotiation. Then, ask what would have made her accept your offer. That deal may be ‘dead’, but you can use the information in your next negotiation. Don’t forget to present a ‘down sell’ or ‘exit’ offer (offer to purchase an item at a lower price – this can be used by removing/unbundling components of the deal).

* Be wise when negotiating. Lying may not be forthright, but sometimes bending the truth assists in progressing the negotiation, (e.g. Does this make me look fat?).

8. Don’t be condescending to those with whom you negotiate. Even when your position is superior to the other negotiator, treat her with respect. You never know when the tables may turn

* Never forget, you demonstrate your mental state of mind through your actions. Thus, be mindful of your actions and the impact they have on negotiations.

The Negotiation Tips Are …

* Remember to balance risk. Risk is the price you pay for opportunity, but risk has to be weighed against the cost of the outcome being sought.

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 29


Minding My Business

Ten Tips to Keep Part-time Employees Motivated By Kathy Kentty About 33 percent of the American work force is classified as part-time employees. Keeping them motivated over time can be difficult, but it's worth the effort. After investing in their training, you don't want them to become discouraged and quit. 1. In a larger office, it's a temptation to assign all lowlevel work, like filing and copying, to part-time and temp workers. Don't do it. Find out what skills they have and be clear about who is allowed to give them work. 2. In a business that serves the public, you need to set a good example. Employees watch you and follow your lead. Be a role model by arriving on time, having a good work ethic, being pleasant, dressing neatly, and treating the public like royalty. 3. Establish a training procedure for your part-timers. When they are familiar with the business, set up rules that will allow each employee to make on-the-spot decisions to resolve a customer's complaint. It helps them develop the confidence and knowledge it takes to deal with the public. 4. Don't be stingy with compliments. When you see the part-time employee doing something right, praise him or her for it. Do it right away. 30 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

5. Hold regular staff meetings that include part-timers. Pass on information, discuss procedures and policy changes. Take time to congratulate employees for a job well done. 6. Explain the value of teamwork. Remind them that they are part of a team working toward a common goal. 7. Surprise them. Keep track of their birthdays and hiring dates. Bringing in coffee and rolls or pizza to celebrate will keep the atmosphere light and show people that you value them. 8. Give non-monetary benefits. Include them in your Christmas party, picnic, contests and activities fulltimers are involved in, including access to the credit union or child-care program. 9. Involve part-timers in planning teams and committee assignments, which will help them become accepted as part of the organization. 10. Always encourage good relationships between all workers. 


Minding My Business

Three Reasons Why Discounting Your Services Could be Damaging Your Reputation By Annemarie Cross

cance and worth of your program, as well as the benefits, outcomes and overall value your clients will receive through investing in you. Unlike a product-based business that can mass produce their wares and offer discounts on bulk purchases, a service-based business owner cannot and should not offer bulk purchases discounts on their time. Your time is one of your most valuable assets, so don’t devalue this priceless commodity by discounting it. Remember, your client does not pay you for the hours you spend with them, but for your knowledge and expertise, AND for the results and outcomes they will receive through working with you. 2. Discounting can impact negatively your self-belief I don’t know about you – but in the past whenever I’ve reduced the prices on my services as the only way to have a client say ‘yes’ to my offer, that little voice inside my head said ‘See, the only way a client is going to invest in you is when you lower your prices,’ which is a self-belief I did NOT want to encourage. Thank goodness I know now that my clients are investing in me because of my wealth of knowledge, my expertise and the results and outcomes they’ll generate through working with me.

As a service-based business owner do find yourself offering your client a discount to influence them into investing in your program or package? Or do you cave in and offer a discount when your prospect asks for one?

By discounting your services as a last (or only) resort will not only continue to impact negatively on your self-belief and self-worth, but will also prevent you from building a thriving successful business.

If you have answered yes to either one of those situations you are certainly not alone. I admit that this is something that I’ve done in the past too. However over the years I’ve realized that this is not one of the best ways to make a sale, while remaining true to my personal values and business growth goals.

3. Discounting can establish a negative precedent

In this article I’ll be sharing three reasons why you shouldn’t resort to discounting your services and the three strategies you should implement so that clients step up gracefully and confidently when investing in your services, packages and programs. 1. Discounting devalues your services Unfortunately whatever way you look at it, discounting your services does little other than to lessen the signifi-

Offering discounts as a way to get clients into your programs can establish a disempowering precedent or business standard that will only serve to block you from achieving your income goals, because of the negative impact it can have on your self-worth and subsequently your income. Do you want to continue to attract clients that will only work with you if you offer them a discount? Do you want to continue having to justify your value and worth to every client who asks you to reduce your prices? Having these continued conversations because you have established this precedent will only serve to undermine you and your business’s growth. July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 31


Minding My Business

Instead, here’s what you should do: 1. Create packages A strong business model that will allow you to increase your income without having to increase the amount of time you spend with clients is to offer packages and programs that include other elements other than just your hourly services. Offering value-added packages that will provide solutions and support for your clients will be far more exciting and empowering for them. It also continues to add value and credibility to the work you are doing with your clients. For instance, in my Sapphires coaching program I include coaching as part of the program, however this is only a small part of the package. My program will also include group mastermind coaching, weekly audio/video laser coaching strategy, online take action journal, access to webinar recordings, forums and opportunity to network with others in the group, so it will be value packed with lots of resources and goodies other than just my time. So what could you add to your packages that will create value for your clients? 2. Add bonuses to make the offer irresistible Bonuses and offering that extra special ‘gift’ to your clients for investing in you can make your program or package irresistible. One of my colleagues was offering a program that was focused on time management for stressed business owners who were struggling to keep up with their hectic schedules. One of the bonuses she included was a half-hour free massage from her colleague who was a massage therapist. The massage therapist was highly skilled in what she did and was also very good at sales and marketing so each person who had the free massage felt so wonderful that they signed up for additional massage sessions. A win-win-win situation. My colleague was able to add a bonus to her package which she knew her clients would love and that fit perfectly with her topic; her clients would benefit greatly from having the massage; and the massage therapist had 32 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

an opportunity to provide a hands-on experience of her service while on-selling that client into one of her massage packages. So, what bonuses can you add to your packages to make them irresistible to clients? 3. Offer ‘quick decision’ offers I’m a firm believer in focusing on the outcome you desire and creating positive and empowering environment and mindset. So, rather than offering a discount (which lessens the value of your services) you can change the entire focus and energy by offering a ‘quick action’ saving when your client makes a quick decision and takes decisive action by booking into and paying for your program within a certain timeframe. Doing this will reward your client’s ‘positive behavior’ in taking decisive action and investing in themselves and the outcomes they want to generate. You are rewarding this quick action – and not rewarding their ability to get you to lower your fee. See the difference? In my Sapphire and Diamond coaching programs you’ll see me offering these programs at various pricing points. The first group of people to sign up into these programs will be rewarded with ‘quick decision’ savings. This is because a business owner who has this attitude is one I know will be successful because they’re driven and ready to take action. So how can you integrate this strategy into your marketing and launch calendar? Remember, if your goal is to attract high quality clients then don’t resort to offering discounts but rather offer special packages/programs offerings; make your offer irresistible through bonuses; or offer ‘quick decision’ pricing to reward them for stepping up and investing in themselves. I love them all and will continue to integrate all three when marketing my programs. Which ones will you do? 


Food For Thought

ISSN 1944-9062 Founder and Publisher Monica Davis

Editors

“Every man with an idea has at least two or three followers.”

Jon Crump Marla Gem Beatrice Roots

Brooks Atkinson

Company Writers Donna Carletta Kathy Kentty Pat Markel

“The secret of success is constancy to purpose.” Other Writers and Contributors

Benjamin Disraeli

“A wise skepticism is the first attribute of a good critic.” James Russell Lowell

“The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure much.” William Hazlitt

Annemarie Cross Andrew Horton Catherine Galasso-Vigorito Dawn Abraham Dawn McCoy Dorothy Rosby Eileen Lichtenstein Greg Williams Inez Bracy Jack Canfield Keasha Lee Margaret Paul Rosalind Sedacca Sharon Raiford Bush Shelley Riutta William R. Patterson

Exceptional People Magazine is published bimonthly by Atela Productions, Inc. The opinions of the contributors are not necessarily those of Atela Productions, Inc.

Atela Productions, Inc. 2961-A Hunter Mill Rd., PMB 624 Oakton, VA 22124-1704 www.exceptionalmag.com

“When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it and want to get on to other things.” Robert M. Pirsig

For advertising information please contact our advertising office at: 664 N. Peoria Street, Suite 1N Chicago, IL 60642 Phone: 312-850-0899 Fax: 312-277-2912 Email: advertising@exceptionalmag.com

Copyright © 2012 Atela Productions, Inc. All rights reserved.

34 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012


Empower Yourself...reach beyond the ordinary. Professional and Personal Development

Self-empowerment is...   

progression in a positive direction creating your own success knowing and understanding who you are, what you can do, and then doing it


Executive Chef: Jourdan Cha’Taun Atkinson

Culinary Innovator Transforms Childhood Adversities into Recipes for Success


Empowerment

At

the age of thirty, Chef Jourdan has achieved extraordinary success as a master chef. She is a remarkable example of what a young person can accomplish, even through tremendous adversity. With the right mindset and big dreams to inspire you, no adversity can keep you stagnant. As a child, she overcame the tough challenges of child molestation, but her love for food and cooking allowed her to channel the outward effects of her adversity into an amazing culinary career. This renowned chef has cooked up an amazing career that has enlivened the taste buds of the rich, the famous and many others. When asked what she recalled about having a passion for food at an early age she says, “My earliest memory is about 3 or 4 years old when I was baking with my grandmother. We used to bake cookies and pies, apple pies from scratch, and I used to have a lot of fun with her doing that. As I grew older, it was a safe haven for me to go into the kitchen and cook, because I started being molested at an early age. I had anger issues, and so a lot of times I would go to her and we would cook. It’s what I did to keep me grounded.” Life often hands us lemons. Take the time to reflect back on some of those instances that you've experienced. Did you turn them into lemonade or did you allow them to sour your view of life? The negative situations you experience will become a test of your ability to find the good and turn them into something powerful and positive.

Chef Atkinson often reminisces about times she spent with her grandmother, wooden spoon in hand, ready to help her grandmother create delectable masterpieces in the kitchen. Today Chef Atkinson is not only expanding her culinary expertise -- a gift she was blessed with at an early age -but she’s also sharing her life's stories and struggles with young people, encouraging them to find the good in their adversities, as well as teaching them the importance of healthy eating and making good choices in life. She candidly shared with Exceptional People Magazine her passion for her craft, her struggle to overcome life’s challenges, and how she’s using her gift to bless others. Monica: What is the earliest age that you recall being passionate about food and the idea of cooking? How did it affect you as a young child? Chef Jourdan: My earliest memory is about 3 or 4 years old when I was baking with my grandmother. We used to bake cookies and pies, apple pies from scratch, and I used to have a lot of fun with her doing that. As I grew older, it was a safe haven for me to go into the kitchen and cook because I was molested at an early age. I had anger issues, and so a lot of times I would go to her and we would cook. It’s what I did to keep me grounded.

Chef Jourdan: Actually, no one. It was just something that started out as a normal school bake sale and parents and teachers began to ask me to bake things for them on a more consistent basis. I had been doing it consistently for a few years and at the time I didn’t consider it a business. It was more or less brought to my attention after doing interviews, when someone articulated that I was running a business. At that age, I didn’t see it as such but I made a good amount of money doing it. I was selling pies for about $25.00. Monica: You stated that you were molested as a child. Having experienced that as a child, I’m sure it had a major impact on your life. Who helped you to get away from that situation, and how did you overcome it as you grew older. Chef Jourdan: I wouldn’t say that anyone intentionally took me away from the situation. My mother had regained custody of me. I was with her, so the people who were molesting me didn’t have the opportunity to do it anymore.

Monica: Whether you knew it or not, as a young child you were destined for success. By the time you were in the fifth grade you had a small catering business, baking for your classmates and teachers. Who helped you with that?

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 37


Empowerment

Honestly, I didn’t start working on the internal issues until I met author Terrie Williams in 2005 in New York. For years I battled anger issues, so as I grew up I was constantly fighting and was pretty much out of control. When I met her she was in the midst of writing her book, Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We're Not Hurting. I did an internship and through that time we got to know each other better. She started talking to me about who I was as a person and what I had been through. Based on many conversations I had with her, she said that she felt I had suffered with depression for years and that my face of depression was anger. She was the first person I met where I heard the term ‘depression’ associated with it, because I was told that I needed psyche evaluations and things like that. I ran from that because in the Black community we’re taught that therapy is for White people and admitting that you need therapy was crazy. I was young and didn’t want any part of it at that time. Monica: During that process while you were working through your issues with her, were you still working with food and molding your future career?

Chef Jourdan: Yes. I was working in restaurants when I first met Terrie. I had recently moved to New York City and I didn’t know anyone. My mentor from Seattle, who was my intervention counselor, put me in contact with Terrie. I had called her and told her that I was depressed, and I was going to move back to Seattle because I didn’t think things were going to work out. While working with Terri I was still struggling to make ends meet in New York. It was harder to get a job. I thought the resume I had and the amount of money I was making in Seattle would easily be able to transfer to New York. What you find when you arrive in New York is that the island of Manhattan is going to take you through trials and tribulations before it blesses you, but you have to work through it. Ultimately, when you have a dream and it can be obtained. Terrie made a call to the Bad Boy Entertainment human resources office and inquired about me getting a job at Justin’s Restaurant. The human resources director informed her that Justin’s had closed, but she also informed her that “Sean Combs fired his personal chef today, and maybe you should send her resume over.

38 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

We’ll see if she qualifies to be his personal chef.” I went through the interview process and I got the job. Monica: You were kicked out of your home at the age of 14? How did that experience affect you mentally, emotionally and/or psychologically? Chef Jourdan: It intensified my depression and anger and behavioral issues. I really started to spiral out of control. I was fighting anyone and everyone. I was cursing at my teachers and fighting other students. I was saying such things to the principal as, “Who are you going to call? My mom doesn’t want me so who are you going to tell? You’re just going to call me and I don’t care.” I was kicked out of school a few times and ended up having to do the Running Start program, which provides students with an opportunity to attend higher education institutions while simultaneously earning high school and college/university credits. It was like half days of college and days of half high school. That helped me refocus because the college atmosphere was better for me than high school. I couldn’t really relate to kids my age because I was working full-time, and I was concerned about keeping a roof over my head. I knew other women


Empowerment

through baby-sitting jobs I worked. I had established bonds with them, and we worked out arrangements where I could live with them and baby-sit when they needed it. That gave me the opportunity to go to school and work. So, it ultimately worked out. Monica: At the age of 14 you were really on your own? Chef Jourdan: Yes, I’m an independent, self-sufficient and strongminded individual. There are a lot of women I know who are my age that don’t know how to take care of themselves, who can’t pay their bills on time and don’t know how to survive. At the end of the day, I know how to make ends meet and keep a roof over my head. I don’t depend on anyone but myself. That experience taught me how to take care of myself. It taught me how to be very independent. I think in this day and age in our society being taken care of by men is glorified. I don’t think there are many women who are concerned with taking care of themselves. They’re misguided and looking for a man to eventually save the day for them; they have kids for meal tickets. It’s a very bizarre atmosphere to be in.

Monica: You are an amazing culinary professional. In addition to your own talents and gifts, to whom do you owe our success as a chef? Chef Jourdan: My grandmother, the cooking arena, and my professional training. I trained under Executive Chef Wayne Johnson, who is one of the top African American chefs in the country. I've been trained in the preparation of Mediterranean food with a French flair. It’s what he taught me to do; how to cook with organic and high quality products. At that time Chef Johnson also gave me the opportunity to move up. I started as a top banquet person, and I was in charge of huge banquets. I moved up from there. To be honest, my attitude would often get in the way of my being able to progress. It’s still something that I have to work on, but as long as I am working on it, I’ll be okay. Monica: What are some lessons that you’ve learned throughout your life that you can pass on to other young women about creating positive outcomes from negative experiences? Chef Jourdan: I believe that you have to be able to talk first and receiv-

ing therapy is the core to achieving a better understanding of how to communicate with people. I think in the African American community, especially with women, we’re taught to suppress a lot of things, hold a lot of secrets and carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. In doing so, we tend to act out. My thinking is to take the things that you’ve been through and turn them into powerful incentives. I talk to the youth and I try to encourage them. I tell them, “Look, I was kicked out at fourteen. My mom was a prostitute, my father was a drug dealer; he was murdered when I was eight. I’ve seen and have been through things that were horrible, but I use that as a stepping stone to go further.” I believed at a really young age that I could do anything I wanted to do. I still believe that and I say that you can write down everything you want in your life. Once you write it down, you take steps towards achieving it along with speaking it. Once you speak it into the universe, it ultimately comes back to you. You also have to change your way of thinking. If your thoughts are negative, you’re always thinking about the dark things and you’re thinking about what happened

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 39


Empowerment

in your past, you’re going to be stuck there. You have to let go of those things, heal and keep moving forward. Focus on the positive and when negative thoughts come into your mind, concentrate on gratitude. It’s always about having a plan and training yourself to think differently. Monica: You visit and speak to youth at various community centers and organizations. Chef Jourdan: Yes, high schools and middle schools. I also speak on panels at various colleges. I was a keynote speaker for a high school graduation two years ago, and I’m in discussions with personnel at Rainier Beach High School in Seattle Washington. They’re developing a culinary program to begin next year, and I am attempting to take part in the development of that program. Monica: Speaking of schools, what are your thoughts on the foods that are served and the fact the government is trying to make the menus better? What would you change if you were in charge of that program? Chef Jourdan: Well, I would change everything. I love what First Lady, Michelle Obama is doing. She’s doing an amazing job in addressing the

issues. I’m a firm believer that cancer and diabetes is a billion dollar business in America. The longer we do not understand what we are putting into our bodies, the longer we’re gong to suffer. People don’t understand that you pay cheaply now for food, such as through a ninety-nine cent menu, but you pay with your life in the long run. You pay with health insurance, if you have it. Kids really don’t understand what over-processed foods are doing to them. They don’t understand that it affects their growth, their body structure and it’s affecting the way that they think and behave. From my perspective, there needs to be a farmer’s market program implemented, so that the sustainability of cities can flourish. This will also provide the kids with an opportunity to better understand farming. They will understand how to grow their food. A lot of times when you go to the grocery store, nine times out of ten you will buy the same things that you’ve always bought. I’ve gotten kids excited about food. When you show them something different, they’re excited and you make it fun. A lot of people, including children, are intimidated by the kitchen but it makes a difference when you tell them, “You can make a mistake;

40 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

if something burns, then you know you have to pay attention to the time. If you change something in a recipe, make note of it. If you like it, you keep it; if you don’t like it, you change it.” One of the most important things is to get them excited. You want to make sure they know what’s in the chicken they eat, such as steroids, for example. Take vegetables that are grown in the usual manner and visually compare them with vegetables that are organically grown, so that they can see the difference. These things you don’t normally know unless you investigate. Once you start sharing this information with kids they will become excited, and they will want to learn more. They won't want to eat the things they’ve been eating all along. They will want more answers. Monica: I like the idea of introducing them to the farmers market, because they’re not only helping themselves by eating healthy foods but they will also be helping farmers in their area. Chef Jourdan: Yes. Sustainability is key.


Empowerment

Monica: You worked as Sean Combs' executive personal chef for a few years. How did working for a celebrity, and especially for him, help you grow as a culinary artist? Chef Jourdan: He basically prepared me for anything. With him, I would have to fly anywhere in and out of town at a moment’s notice. I would have to do dinner parties at 4:00 a.m., for 75 people with no advance notice. Sometimes I would have to do parties for up to 175 people on my own. So working for him prepared me to find solutions to any problem, because you don’t have time to get stuck with a problem. It set me up for success by working in those types of situations. Nothing about working for him was normal, so when I work for a family that isn’t famous who may unexpectedly have 20 guests, they may think it’s pressure, but for me it’s easy. Monica: There are a number of female chefs in the industry but of course, you’re still working in a maledominated industry. Were there any challenges specific to the industry you had to overcome that normally don't affect men?

Chef Jourdan: Of course. Like all women, getting my fair pay. That’s something that I also try to get kids to understand, and that is knowing your worth and knowing what you’re supposed to get for certain positions – your starting salary and what you should be paid each year thereafter.

Working for Sean “Diddy” Combs gave me an understanding of being very aware and having a contract that states what I will do or won’t do, what my position includes or does not include, or what happens if I work on a holiday for instance. Lots of times men don’t have to have those conversations. As women, we have to make sure that we protect ourselves and know what we’re getting. Monica: Do you feel that applies across the board for women in this profession? Chef Jourdan: Yes. In this industry and generally in all industries. We’re living in a man’s world, and it doesn’t matter that it’s in the kitchen. I feel that it’s the same across the board. Monica: I would imagine that you have your own unique style. How did you define your style as a chef?

Chef Jourdan: My training under Executive Chef Wayne Johnson is where I picked up the Mediterranean style with a French flair. I worked with him the entire time while attending culinary arts school, and I continued with him for about a year and half until I went to New York. I became accustomed to that style of cooking, plus I really love Italian food. I am of mixed race and I love soul food. I began to experiment by combining soul food and Italian food. After being a private chef and working in the private sector, I like having the opportunity to create. I don’t like to being placed in a box, because when you’re handling people’s personal preferences, a lot of times they want the same things. You don’t always have an opportunity to be creative. Now I’m more focused on getting clients who just love food; who aren’t going to tell you all of their dislikes or what they won’t eat. Initially my dream was to become a celebrity personal chef, move to New York and make it happen. Now that I’ve made that happen, I want to design my dream a little differently. Monica: Are you working for individuals or organizations?

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 41


Empowerment

Chef Jourdan: I recently moved to Los Angeles from Las Vegas. I was Floyd Mayweather’s personal chef for the last year and a half. There was nine months of down time between Sean Combs and Floyd Mayweather, so I did a few large events for Kevin Liles and Trey Songz and a few other non-profit organizations. I found that in the catering realm there’s more room for creativity, and I like that. Monica: With catering, of course, you need a team working with you. Chef Jourdan: Yes, but working with Sean “Diddy” Combs, I know how to do a lot of things on my own. I’d say within the last year or in those nine months I understood that I needed to get help because I couldn’t do it by myself. It’s a live and learn situation, and I’m working on trusting people more. At the end of the day, anything that I do, I am the head chef. I am responsible for everything. There’s a certain level of quality that I like to have -- the food has to taste a specific way, but I’m working on the “let-go” aspect. Monica: I think that is something most entrepreneurs need to work on. Chef Jourdan: I also have to be able to trust people -- to give them my

recipes. I’ve been working on a cookbook over the last few years and I still have a really hard time letting go of my recipes. Monica: I understand that you like to “pay it forward”. What are you passionate about passing on to others? Chef Jourdan: Dreams. I’ve noticed that it’s hard for kids to be kids. It’s hard for them to dream anymore because of all the craziness that’s going on in the world. I try to use everything that I’ve been through, and the fact that I’ve worked for celebrities gets them a little more excited. They want to hear what I have to say. That in itself was a dream of mine. I’ve been where they are, thinking things would never happen for me, but they ultimately did happen. They have to dream first and come up with a plan.

ory of me going to a market and seeing fresh produce and fish and acquiring a better understanding of markets and their value versus grocery stores. I remember the big feasts my father used to make before he passed away. It would take about three days to prepare holiday meals. I remember everything it took to bring all that together and to bring the family together. Monica: What do you love most about what you do? Chef Jourdan: That I have the opportunity to be creative everyday. I’m thankful that God blessed me with a gift, a gift of cooking, but it’s also about providing nourishment and being able to help people live better lives. Monica: What is your last word?

Monica: What would you say are some of your favorite childhood moments that you reflect on and that inspire you as you continue to perfect and enhance your skills as a master chef? Chef Jourdan: First, I would say baking with my grandmother. My mother and I used to live in Hawaii, and she always took me to China Town. That was like the earlier mem-

42 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

Chef Jourdan: Never give up.




Empowerment

The Most Valuable Question You Can Ask

the quality of every relationship you are in, every product you produce, every service you deliver, every meeting you conduct, every class you teach and every transaction you enter into? Here it is:

By Jack Canfield

As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the quality of our relationship during the last week?” Here are a number of variations on the same question that have served me well over the years... “On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate… • • • • • • • • • • •

our service? our product? this meeting? our performance? my coaching/managing? my parenting/babysitting? my teaching? this class/seminar/workshop? our date/vacation? this meal? this book/recording/show?

Thomas Edison is reported to have tried over 2,000 different experiments that failed before he finally got the light bulb to work. He once told a reporter that, from his perspective, he had never failed at all. Inventing the light bulb was just a 2,000-step process. If you can adopt that attitude, then you can be free to take an action, notice what result you get, and then adjust your next actions based on the feedback you have received.

Any answer less than a 10 always gets this follow-up question:

Ready, Fire, Aim!

“What would it take to make it a 10?”

Don’t be afraid to just jump in and get started moving toward your goals. As long as you pay attention to the feedback you receive, you will make progress. Just getting into the game and firing allows you to correct and refine your aim. The Most Valuable Question You May Ever Learn In the 1980s, a multimillionaire businessman taught me a question that radically changed the quality of my life. So what is this magical question that can improve July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 43


Empowerment This is where the *really* valuable information comes from. Knowing that a person is dissatisfied is not enough. Knowing in detail what will satisfy them gives you the information you need to do whatever it takes to create a winning product, service or relationship.

Work Notes - How To Ask For a Raise By Kathy Kentty

There Are Two Kinds of Feedback There are two kinds of feedback you might encounter – negative and positive. We tend to prefer the positive – that is, results, money, praise, promotion, raise, awards, happiness, inner-peace, etc. It feels betters. It tells us we are on course and doing the right thing. We tend not to like negative feedback – lack of results, little or no money, criticism, poor evaluations, complaints, unhappiness, inner conflict, pain, etc. However, there is as much useful data in negative feedback as there is in positive feedback. It tells us that we are off course, headed in the wrong direction, doing the wrong thing. This is priceless information! In fact, it’s so valuable that one of the most useful projects you could undertake is to change how you respond to negative feedback. I like to refer to negative feedback as information for “improvement opportunities.” Here is a place where I can get better. Ask Yourself for Feedback In addition to asking others for feedback, you need to ask yourself for feedback, too. More than any other source of feedback, your body will tell you whether or not you are on course or not. When you are relaxed and happy, your body is telling you that you are on track. When you are constantly exhausted, tense, in pain, unhappy and angry, then you are off track. Take time to listen to what your body is saying to you. Take time to listen to your physical sensations and your feelings. They are sending you important messages. Are you listening? Remember, Feedback Is Simply Information You don’t have to take it personally. Just welcome it and use it. 

44 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

The best time to ask is in November or December when next year's budgets are being planned. Still, companies generally have some latitude for salary increases. Whenever you ask, here's the advice of experts at CNN Money: • Create a positive feeling. Start out by emphasizing your

commitment to your employer, advise career coaches at The Five O'Clock Club. Tell how your boss you love your job, are excited about how the company is running and speak about your and desire to be a devoted contributor. • Highlight your responsibilities and accomplishments. If

you're a key contact with a large client, you have leverage. If you juggle several jobs (don't be resentful), you have more power. • Present a number. Don't wait for the boss to state an

offer. Authorities say if you're the first person to make an offer you're more likely to get what you want. Use payscale.com and salary.com to find the market value of your job, then ask for 10 percent more. 


Empowerment

Are Your Habits Hindering Your Success? By Andrew Horton

Our habits are like nuclear submarines, they run silent and deep. You don’t even know they are there, you will never discover them unless you actively search for them and even then, it is possible that they may remain hidden from you. Have you got any idea whether your habits are serving you? Are they helping or hindering your progress each day? Have the courage to explore your habits. If they are limiting you or causing you to procrastinate or not take the appropriate daily action, use the awareness that will flow from this article, to begin changing them for ones that will help you. “We are what we repeatedly do, excellence is not an act, it is a habit.” Aristotle

Everything you learn, you either learn from observation, imitation or repetition. This learning, over time gets converted into your habits which either serve you or keep you trapped in a life of mediocrity. Your habit-set starts to develop from offhand remarks, fleeting ideas and vague images which settle layer upon layer in your mind and through repetition. These unimportant, wispy cobwebs keep growing until they turn into thick inflexible cables, which can either hinder and limit you or strengthen your ability to succeed. You can either consciously manage and control your habits as they form, turning them into your successful set of habits to create the success you desire or you can leave the formation of your habits to chance, where your habit-set will become your greatest limiting factor, keeping you trapped in a life you hate.

Are you striving for excellence in your own life and no matter how hard you seem to try, nothing seems to work out for you? Do you look around and see people with less skill and ability and who work half as hard as you who seem to have the Midas touch and everything just seem to just fall into their laps? Look at the habits of these people with the Midas touch. They have a daily set of habits and routines which work for them. They do not need to consciously think about all the activities they need to do. Their good habits dictate the perfect way they operate.

able to remember how you did it. Those are your subconscious habits at work. A great success habit will work the same way. You will unconsciously carry out all the daily activities necessary to succeed, arriving at success one day, shaking your head, unable to remember how you got there. Choose your habits wisely as they dictate what you do most of the day, they can either slow you down or they can be the fuel that catapults you to success. You get to make your habits over time, but always remember that it is your habits that will ultimately make you. Choose to create your new set of habits by design from this moment forward. Something this important deserves some special attention and a lot of your time. Habits are like comfortable warm beds on a cold winter’s night; they are easy to get into, but really difficult to get out of in the morning. Start today, one small habit at a time and begin to design your perfect success habit-set. The effort you put into designing a winning set of habits will help you to effortlessly achieve any outcome you really want. 

Have you ever driven to a familiar destination, arrived there and thought, “How did I get here, what route did I take” and no matter how hard you thought about it, you could not remember? You had safely negotiated dangerous traffic, turned at exactly the right time, stopped when the traffic in front of you did and yet you arrived at your destination safely, unJuly-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 45


Empowerment

Overcoming the Three Major Risks of Retirement Planning By William R. Patterson

your investment portfolio by advisors will vary greatly. Index funds can also be a helpful way to minimize the risk of investing poorly as you are assured of doing at least as well as the market. As we saw in the last two stock market crashes, it is also vital to learn appropriate strategies for diversification and how to protect yourself, and potentially profit from severe downward moves in the market. Major risk number three is withdrawing too much. According to Center for Disease Control, the life expectancy for men ranges between 69-75, and for women between 76-80 years old depending on race, physical condition, and other factors. You can use the calculators and other tools in the free resources section of BaronSeries.com to help you determine how long your savings will last.

When it comes to retirement planning there are primarily three major risks that people must avoid. Major risk number one is saving too little. The average person will need a nest egg of 1-2 million dollars or the ability to replace 80% of their preretirement income to live comfortably in retirement. This will require a person to save about 15% of their aftertax income. View the table in the free resources section of BaronSeries.com titled “What Will It Take to Become a Millionaire?� for an estimate of how much a person would likely need to invest a month in order to become a millionaire by the retirement age of 65. For those individuals closer to retirement that are unable to invest

large monthly sums or those individuals wishing to retire much earlier, you can leverage The Baron Solution strategies for developing passive income. These strategies will allow you to create an ongoing stream of income from your assets as opposed to your physical labor or having to work for a paycheck. Major risk number two is investing poorly. You can mitigate this risk by increasing your financial intelligence and learning how to analyze the financial condition and prospects of the companies and mutual funds you invest in. It is important to have this knowledge even if you are working with a financial advisor because the knowledge, skill, and attention directed toward

46 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

With 25-40% of pension plan sponsors either freezing benefits or closing their plans to new hires, rising medical costs, and social security and other programs on the brink of collapse, it is more important than ever that you take an active role in developing your investing knowledge and securing your financial future. It will mean all the difference in your quality of life in retirement. 


Empowerment

Go to a) if it’s a picture Go to b) if it’s a movie

THE number one skill that every human needs more than anything else.

By Patrick McNally, PhD

People need a way to get themselves out of a bad mood. You know the one I mean. You wake up in the morning and stagger into the shower only for the hot water to be cold. Wonderful you think to yourself. So you jump out freezing cold and quickly attempt to get dressed, only to be interrupted by the two darlings of your life (the children) fighting again. You make breakfast but no one has time to eat it and when you go to start the car, the battery is flat. So with a start like that is it little wonder that the day continues as it began? There hasn’t been a day in my office where a person hasn’t told me about how difficult it is to get out of that state. It’s as if once you think of something negative you spend the entire day feeling terrible. So the number one thing everyone on the planet needs is a way to rid themselves of these terrible feelings. Everyone has at some time or other felt depressed, anxious, resentful, jealous, sad or angry, to name a few. The problem with all of these negative feelings is that they tend to stay around a long time because they are very powerful emotions. One lady walked in and declared she had been suffering from severe depression for over ten years. Two hours later she left my office suffering from severe happiness. I did it by using my signature technique called the

60 Second Challenge. It’s where I can change the way a person feels about anything or anyone in under 60 seconds. Here is how to do it: Step 1 Think of anything that is bothering you, worrying you, making you feel sad or fearful just pick the worst thing you are going through now. Step 2 As you keep thinking about it, let yourself detect where you feel it in your body. Some people have found their body gave them sensations in their chest, arms, stomach, throat, between their breasts (females), or at the top of their stomach (men store it here a lot). Just become aware of where it enters your body. Step 3 Notice which direction this feeling is moving. It has to move – feelings move all the time. For example, I want you to think about being nervous. When a person is nervous, they normally say “I have butterflies in my tummy”. Step 4 By now you should be thinking of it, feeling it and know the direction in which it is moving. Now I want you to look at what it is you are seeing in your mind’s eye. Is it a still picture or a movie?

a) If it’s a picture, place a black border around the edge and move it away from you in your mind’s eye, shrinking it down to the size of a postcard. Then move it away from you again until it’s the size of a postage stamp. Then when it is as small as you can make it, take a deep breath and blow it away until you can’t see it anymore. At the very same time as you are doing this, I want you to place your hands on the area of your body where the feelings are. Then push the feelings in your body in the opposite direction. So, for example, if you discovered the feelings were in your lower stomach moving up, you would use your hands to move the feelings downward. As you blow the picture away you should also find you have moved the feeling from your body. b) If you see a movie playing, pick the worst part of the movie and freeze it. Now you have a picture and can continue with the technique by following the instructions given in a). Step 5 Test the results of your work. Try to think again about THE SAME THING that was worrying you and see and feel for yourself how remarkably different the experience is now. No other technique has ever come close to removing negative emotions as fast as this one and I give it to you with love and blessing for an amazing life. Never let your body trick you anymore, you make the thoughts that create the feelings….. now you can change your feelings about anything or anyone in your life. 

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 47


Empowerment

The Four Stages of Change Change--What Stage are You In?

By Shelley Riutta, MSE, LPC

Discover where you are in your growth and change process. We are always in an evolving cycle of change - letting go of the old and stepping into the new. Sometimes we welcome this change with open arms, sometimes we resist with all of our might. It can be helpful to know which stage you are in so you can understand what is going on with you and work with the process of change rather than against it. Here are the four stages of change: 1. Dissatisfaction or “feeling the gap”. This is when there is a large gap between where you are and where you would like to be. You might not be completely clear where you want to be. You may just have the clarity that what you are experiencing now is not working for you. This is an uncomfortable place to be and oftentimes I have clients come to me and label this stage as “depression”. Try to frame the dissatisfaction as information signaling you to grow rather than labeling it as a permanent position of, “I will always feel this way– my life never goes the way I want it to.” How you frame it can change your experience of it. If you frame it as a signal for growth you will feel empowered—if you focus on it from a state of helplessness you will feel despair.

2. Exploration - In this stage you feel the dissatisfaction but you don’t quite know what would feel better to you. Or, you have a sense of what would feel better but you don’t know how to get there. This is the stage where you explore options and “try them on” to see how it would feel or you explore options of how to get where you want to be. It is important to take your time in this phase to truly explore. People oftentimes feel uncomfortable with the lack of certainty at this point and may try to bypass this by choosing an option to get out of this stage. Reassure yourself that you will come to an option that feels right to you -- just give it time. The other thing to watch in this stage is the opposite—exploring so much that you get confused and stuck in considering options. Sometimes people fear making a change and hang out in the exploration stage as a safety zone to not take any risks. Make sure you aren’t doing this either. 3. Action/Visualization - In this stage you have clarity about where you want to go and you develop a plan to get there. Again, you may know where you want to go but are unclear on how to get there. This is something that needs to be finalized in this stage. You may have developed somewhat of a plan in the exploration stage and in this stage you will clarify this plan and begin to implement it. As you begin to move forward your wounded self may become

48 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

afraid. It is important to stay tuned in and bring through the truth to this scared part of you. Staying in faith rather than fear will help you to move forward more easily. In this stage it is important to get support to stay on track with the implementation of the plan to achieve your goal. Without support, fears that surface may sidetrack you and stop you from moving forward. You can share with a close friend or partner your plan and ask them to be an accountability buddy. The other part of this stage is to spend time visualizing the positive outcome of your desired change. See it working out in the easiest, magical and fun way. This vision can help keep you focused when your desired change is in process and not quite complete. The phrase “keep your eye on the prize” is fitting here. 4. Stepping into the New - Moving into your change can be a gradual process or it could come more quickly like meeting your Soul mate within weeks of this process or your dream job lands in your lap overnight. Either way there is an adjustment phase to the new change. There can be feelings of loss from letting go of the old. Even though you were dissatisfied with the old situation, it represented the “familiar” to you. With the new changes there may come feelings of having a new identity or parts of you being expressed that have never been expressed before. Typically people feel more aliveness and vitality in this stage. You can also feel a deep sense of satisfaction that you made a change that was in alignment with your Authentic Self—your true desires. You will feel that you’re on the right path, like you are back on track again. 


Empowerment

Six Parenting Tips for Motivating Kids to Achieving Goals By Jean Tracy

Here are 6 Parenting Tips for Teaching Motivated Self-Talk

 “I am visualizing how to spell

1. Make the Self-Talk Positive “The mind is everything: what you think, you become.” Buddha

 “I am laughing and making

‘motivation.'”

To motivate, the self-talk must be positive. There's no room for don'ts, won'ts, and can'ts. As the parent you have the power to save your child from drowning in a sea of dark thoughts. All you need is the ‘knowhow.’ Keep reading and find out.

friends.” Whatever the goal, the word “am” sets your child's self-talk in the present. It's as if the goal is being achieved right now. When you ask your child to fill out this sentence, I am ____________, he'll be on his way to positive selftalk and achieving his goal.

2. Make the Self-Talk Personal 4. See the Goal Clearly Positive self-talk lights the way with the word, “I” as the first word in the motivating sentence.

Motivation is your child's North Star. It's the guiding point your child can use to reach goals. Find out right now how to motivate your child with positive self-talk. “You can't make me!” shouted the young girl. Her mother looked down and walked away. If you have an unmotivated child, don't give up. Don't walk away. Why Raising a Motivated Child is Crucial to an Enthusiastic Life We want kids to be motivated and enthusiastic. We know the quality of kids' self-talk determines the quality of their lives. We also realize it takes only ugly thoughts to create a “grouch.” This is the last thing we want for our kids.

When I learned to ski at age 40 and at the top of an easy run, I was scared to death. Looking down that hill I told myself, “I am and I can.” It gave me the courage to push-off and head downward. I loved the swish and sway of the skiing. On a steeper hill I forgot my goal sentence and gave into my fears. I crashed. Positive self-talk using “I” to begin the sentence is essential for motivating oneself. 3. Make the Self-Talk Present Tense The second motivating word in the goal sentence is “am.” The “am” word encourages the feeling that it is happening now. Here are some examples:  “I am figuring out this algebra

problem.”  “I am seeing how to tie my own

shoes.”

Seeing the goal is crucial. I remember, as a 5-year-old, watching another kid tie his shoes. I saw it so clearly that I untied my own shoes and then tied them again and again. I still remember the happy excitement I felt as I ran to tell my mother. Jim Carrey once said, “I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. That's the thing. You can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich.” 5. Sense the Goal Actively I know a 9th grader who was falling behind in algebra. I asked her, “What have you done recently you feel proud of?” “I decided to take good notes, study harder, and now I'm getting good grades in algebra.” I wish you could have felt her inner determination to do better and her joy in the results. A motivated child puts forth the effort needed to gain satisfaction and good feelings in return.

 “I am reading with expression.” July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 49


Empowerment

6. Say the Goal Sentence Positively When positive self-talk is used often, it becomes a habit. It's like a rainbow of words. These words bring the feeling and the vision together in one sentence. That sentence leads to the pot of gold, the child's goal. Conclusion for Goals, Motivation, and Self-Talk By now you might be wondering, ‘Do I have to teach all of this to my kids?” Yes, but you can make it very simple by discussing these three questions with your child: 1. When you reach your goal, how will it look? 2. How will you feel when you reach your goal? 3. Starting with the words, “I am…” “What can you say right now to move toward you goal? That's it. These three sentences can become your child's North Star for life when he makes answering them a habit. One more thing, if you choose to raise a motivated child, you won't be looking down or walking away. Instead, you'll be raising a child with a positive character enthused about life. 

Talking to Your Kids After Divorce Can be Tough – But Necessary! By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT As a divorced parent you can never pay too much attention to your communication skills with your children. It keeps the doors open to a healthier, more positive relationship with them. It makes you more sensitive to issues of concern early on so you can nip them in the bud. It encourages your children to talk about what they are feeling, questions they have and situations that are creating conflict for them. Don’t sit down and say, let’s talk. Find comfortable times and places where conversation can flow naturally and easily. Then bring up related subjects in a casual way. Watching TV or movies at home can often be a catalyst for valuable conversation. Driving in the car together can also be a time of discussion, questions and sharing feelings. Here are some tips that can help you ease into more productive communication with your kids. -Asking why can be intimidating and close off your conversation. Instead ask what happened questions which keep the dialogue open. -Be patient. Don’t react or respond until you get the full message. Sometimes it takes some meandering for your child to reach the crucial point of what they want to say. Don’t shut them off too soon! -Remember that preaching, moralizing or “parenting” comments can put up barriers to clear communication. Listening is your most valuable skill and tool. -Watch your judgments and put-downs, even with upsetting information. Don’t belittle your children, call them names or insult their behaviors. Talk to them – not at them! The difference is felt as respect. -Acknowledge your children for coming to you. Praise their braveness. If you were at fault, apologize honestly and discuss how you can make changes for the future. -Show that you accept and love them – even if their behaviors were not acceptable. Then help them come up with some acceptable solutions they can understand and feel good about. Put yourself in your child’s place and you will likely make wiser decisions when it comes to talking about sensitive areas in their life. Afraid to talk about touchy subjects? Get some help from a counselor. It’s essential that you talk to your children and be role model for them. Don’t let them down! 

50 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012


Empowerment

Eyes on Partner's Plate

Five Things that Destroy Relationships and How to Avoid Them By Dr. Margaret Paul, PhD.

Don't let your relationship fail. Learn about 5 relationship killers and begin to heal the underlying fears that cause relationships to fail. As a relationship counselor, I am constantly being asked why so many relationships fail. In the 37 years that I have worked with couples, I have discovered five major relationship killers: Controlling Behavior Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior. Controlling behavior falls into two major categories - overt control and covert control. Overt control includes many forms of attack, such as blaming anger, rage, violence, judgment, criticism and ridicule. Covert control includes compliance, enabling, withdrawal, defending, explaining, lying and denying. Often a person at the other end of attack will respond with some form of covert control in an attempt to have control over not being attacked. Controlling behavior always results in resentment and emotional distance, bringing about the very rejection that it is meant to avoid. Resistance Many people enter a relationship with a deep fear of being engulfed and

controlled - of losing themselves. The moment they experience their partner wanting control over them, they respond with resistance - withdrawal, unconsciousness, numbness, forgetfulness, and procrastination. When one partner is controlling and the other is resistant - which is really an attempt to have control over not being controlled - the relationship becomes immobilized. Partners in this relationship system feel frustrated, stagnant, and resentful. Neediness Many people enter a relationship believing that it is their partner's job to fill their emptiness, take away their aloneness, and make them feel good about themselves. When people have not learned how to take responsibility for their own feelings and needs, and to define their own self-worth, they may pull on their partner and others to fill them with the love they need. Substance and Process Addictions Most people who feel empty inside turn to substance and process addictions in an attempt to fill their emptiness and take away the pain of their aloneness and loneliness. Alcohol and drug abuse, food, spending, gambling, busyness, Internet sex and pornography, affairs, work, TV, accumulating things, beautifying, and so on, can all be used as ways to fill emptiness and avoid fears of failure, inadequacy, rejection and engulfment. And they are all ways of shutting out your partner.

Many people are acutely aware of what their partner is doing that is causing relationship problems, but completely unaware of what they are doing. For example, you might be very aware of your partner's resistance or withdrawal, but totally unaware of your own judgmental behavior. You might be very aware of your partner's anger, but completely unaware of your own compliance. You might be very aware of your partner's addictive behavior, but very unaware of your own enabling. As long as your eyes are on your partner instead of on yourself, you will continue to believe that if only your partner changed, everything would be okay. Resolving Relationship Killers All relationship killers come from fear - of inadequacy, of failure, of rejection and of engulfment. As long as you are coming from any of these fears, you will be behaving in one or more of the above ways. The way out is through a devoted practice of Inner Bonding to develop a loving adult self who knows how to take full responsibility for your own feelings and needs. You will move beyond controlling, needy and addictive behavior only when you learn how to fill your self with love and define your own inner worth. When you are willing to take your eyes off your partner's plate and turn your eyes fully on yourself, you can begin to do the Inner Bonding work necessary to heal yourself and your relationship.

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 51


www.exceptionalmag.com July-August 2012

CONTENTS

Extraordinary Profiles 54

Jeffrey Gitterman—An Innovative Approach to Achieving Financial Success

Inspiration 62

Enthusiasm Kindles Confidence, Courage and Energy

63

Friendship Quotes

64

Gratitude vs. Complaining

The Lighter Side 66

Fear of Flying

68

Zucchini Date Bread

69

Colorful Pasta Salad

70

Big Three for the Grill

71

Profile Resources

72

Writers and Contributors

Cover Photo

“The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.” Elbert Hubbard


Jeffrey Gitterman

An Innovative Approach to Achieving Financial Success


Extraordinary Profiles

As an award-winning financial advisor and author, Jeffrey Gitterman is changing how people see themselves, their money and their future. He is spreading the word about what we can do to change our views on life, prosperity, and money in a way that will result in longterm abundance. Gitterman is promoting the evolution of the financial and life-planning industry through his holistic and purposeful philosophy. As the founder and CEO of Gitterman & Associates Wealth Management, LLC, Gitterman focuses on educating collegiate professionals to manage every aspect of their finances. When asked why he chose that particular audience, he says, “I always had an affinity for teaching and always saw myself as a teacher rather than a sales person, and it lead me to want to work within that community.” Since 1991, Gitterman has specialized in financial, wealth and distribution planning, with a strong focus on the academic community. He has the uncanny ability to help his clients view their finances from a completely different perspective – one that allows them to redefine what money and wealth means to them, and how they can live a balanced life. His innovative approach has helped people define and create their own reality by rethinking their relationship with money, getting them to determine what they want out of life and what they want to contribute to life.

It was an honor to have Gitterman, an extraordinary, innovative financial advisor, share some of his insights and philosophy on financial planning, prosperity, and success. Monica: You specialize in financial wealth and distribution planning which is not new, but your focus is an excellent one. You have chosen to educate collegiate professionals on how to better manage their finances. Why did you choose to focus on this particular group, and what problems did you see within the academic community that you felt needed improvement? Jeffrey: Well, I always had an affinity for teaching, and I always saw myself as a teacher rather than a sales person. That's what inspired me to work within that community. I also did a profile when I was very young in the industry about what my ideal target market would be. The profile indicated teaching as well. That was sort of a confirmation that I was on the right track. Monica: When are you working with those clients is there a specific approach that you take with the academic community versus anyone else? Jeffrey: We handle it in a way that they handle their lives, in an educational style, doing seminars on campus in a very non-threatening environment. We try to make clients feel we’re on the same side of the table that they are on. Teachers prefer to be approached through seminars I believe more so than others, because they are doing that on a daily basis.

Once you figure out those things, you will be able to determine how money can play a role in helping you achieve your goals. Mindset plays an important role in how you obtain and spend money. Gitterman also produced a radio show entitled, “Beyond Success: Redefining the Meaning of Prosperity,” which encouraged its listeners to discover a deeper meaning in life and to explore a higher goal in life beyond success. His articles have been published in Financial Planning Magazine, Affluent Magazine, Transformation Magazine and London Glossy Magazine, as well as the books, The Power of Philanthropy and The Speaker Anthology. His work has been featured in Money Magazine, The Home News Tribune, Fortune Small Business Magazine, and on CNN. In 2004, Jeff was honored by Fortune Small Business Magazine and Winning Workplaces, as one of the nation's Best Bosses. July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 55


Extraordinary Profiles Monica: It is a known fact that teachers generally don’t make a lot of money. So when you’re providing them with information, do you often discuss investments? Jeffrey: Yes, absolutely. We’re money managers primarily. We’re advising close to a billion dollars for mostly teachers. It‘s a big part of what we do for all of our clients -- educate, discuss and manage their investments. A lot of them really don’t want to know. They get to a point where they trust you implicitly and they feel that they don’t have to worry about it. Monica: You produced and hosted a radio show, called, “Beyond Success: Redefining the Meaning of Prosperity." What does prosperity mean to you, personally? Jeffrey: When you can do what you love to do without time constraints and when you can use your creative expression to serve others. That’s why I love teachers, because that’s what they do. Monica: How does one know when they have reached a level of true prosperity? Jeffrey: I think when you’re not really focused on it. When it’s an object that you’re chasing, then you’re certainly not there. Prosperity to me means you’ve found a certain peace with what you get up to do every day. Prosperity is not something that you can get; it’s something that you express. Monica: We know how society, generally speaking, defines success. What is your view on how society views

or thinks about prosperity and what do you think is wrong with that perspective? Jeffrey: I wrote a book about it, as well as doing the radio show. I completely disagree with how we teach people and how our culture defines success, which is how much money you have or how much power you have. I think that's mostly what’s wrong with our society. We teach people from a very early age how much better you are than the person next to you and that the amount of money and material possessions that you have defines your success. It’s a terrible thing to assume. Monica: How can people change their belief system or mind-set to think about prosperity in a different way? Jeffrey: We do it very quickly; at least I do it in my financial planning. The first thing I do is ask people what is the first word that comes to mind about what money means to them. Ninety-percent will say independence, power, freedom or safety. Those are four main answers you normally get. How would you feel if you had freedom, power or independence? None of those things actually have anything to do with money. Independence has very little to do with money or at least people’s perception of money representing independence. We then get them to step back and define those things. What would it look like if you had independence, freedom, or power? What would your day look like? That allows you to separate the truth from money. When you’ve assigned your desires to money, then you start just chasing money. Monica: I think that when many people say they want to be independent, they immediately think about it in the financial sense, because they’re thinking they can’t do what they'd like to do without money. Jeffrey: Right, but they have actually given up searching for what it is they’d like to do, even if they have enough money. They have this idea and money has become an end unto itself, rather than a means to an end. We try to put money back into its place by saying money may be a means to independence, but money doesn’t translate into independence. You can’t chase money. You have to actually determine for yourself what you want your life to look like. What would independence look like to you? Would you be in a different job? Would you be playing golf every day for the rest of your life?

56 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012


Extraordinary Profiles Usually we get people to the point where they would be doing something in the world – for example, volunteering or sewing pillows for sick kids with cancer. There’s some kind of dream underneath it connected to a creative aspect that we can get them to think about. Then we can start separating the chase for money from the chase for meaning. Monica: Financial planning I would think is a combination of things to include what you spend, what you save and what you invest. Do you take a holistic approach when helping people manage their money? Jeffrey: Definitely. It begins with having the clients find meaning in their lives to determine what they’re searching for. They can then use money as the means to get there. Monica: If a person wants to build wealth versus simply preparing for life after retirement, should their approach to financial planning differ from someone who just wants to live comfortably? Jeffrey: As a financial planner, I would not want to work with someone who is just interested in building wealth. I’m more of a financial therapist. I want to work with people who want to find meaning and understand that money is a part of that process. What we focus on mostly are people who have already accumulated money, are looking to protect it and have it generate income to provide a lifestyle for them. Monica: Do you believe that giving back plays an important role in becoming prosperous?

happy and enjoy life and be full of experiences. That doesn’t come from penny-pinching. I’ve seen too many clients die with all their money in the bank. Monica: Do you believe your money should outlast you, rather than the reverse? Jeffrey: I do, but not by much. I have a client who grew up during the Depression who is very fearful and saves every penny. I have clients with millions of dollars who will go to New York and stay in a $39 motel. Money to those people means safety. They’re chasing safety because emotionally they don’t have it. They can’t find safety, so they chase money and hoard money to gain that feeling. Monica: That’s a hard habit to break. Jeffrey: It’s very hard to break. That involves breaking down someone’s emotional relationship with money. Everyone has a definitive emotional story around money. You can spiritually or emotionally grow through exploring your own relationship with money if you are willing to delve into it. Monica: What about the entrepreneur or the small business owner who has limited finances? How can an entrepreneur with limited finances find a way to save and still be able to effectively operate and grow a business? Jeffrey: It’s definitely difficult. We usually get them to start out very small. Sometimes if you present them with goals in order to plan for college and retirement, it’s so

Jeffrey: Yes, one hundred percent. I believe that if your focus is just on what you can do for yourself, then it’s very difficult to be prosperous. If your focus is on what you can create for the world, then it’s much easier to become prosperous -- financially, spiritually and emotionally. Monica: I sometimes engage in conversations about prosperity or wealth. I think some people believe that in order to become prosperous or build a stable financial foundation, you have to become a penny-pincher, be thrifty or live below your means. Jeffrey: We don’t agree with that. I think money is supposed to be in motion. You can absolutely have a fruitful lifestyle and spend money. We want our clients to be July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 57


Extraordinary Profiles unrealistic to what they can do, that they don’t do anything. So it’s important for an entrepreneur to begin doing something, like setting aside $10.00 a week. Once they see that pot growing, then it’s easier to get them to make incremental adjustments to it on an annual basis. As a financial planner, you have to have a clear understanding of what’s realistic within the client’s means. Monica: At what age to do you think it’s proper to begin advising young people about the importance of building long-term financial goals, rather than pursuing short-term goals to acquire material things? Jeffrey: I’m a huge advocate and have taught for Junior Achievement and in junior high schools. I think that’s an appropriate time to begin talking about it. I also speak at colleges. I find that the students are very receptive once you point out that what they’re chasing may not be what they’re really looking for. I usually start by asking, “Who do you wish to emulate in business as having the financial success that you’re looking for? Form a picture of that person in your mind and that person’s quality of life.” I ask them to think about whether they would trade places with that person to acquire money. Typically no one raises their hand. They begin to realize that there is a difference between what they’re chasing and what they really want. Monica: With the current state of the economy, most people probably believe that it will take a miracle to get their lives back on track. What are some things that you would recommend to regain control of finances, even if your finances are limited?

Jeffrey: The key is to work on your emotional relationship with money. If you don’t get a grip on where your attention is -- if it’s not on improving yourself and your life's circumstances, then you won't gain control of your money. We are too dependent upon what society says we need in order to be happy. Our attention is drawn to all of the sound bites in the advertising world. As long as we don’t take control of what we pay attention to, then we’ll never be in a good situation. We’ll always spend more than we have or be dissatisfied with what we have. We’re all mostly dissatisfied with how we view ourselves. We look to acquire things so that others will see us as we'd like to see ourselves. Monica: That is so true. Jeffrey: I often ask people, “If you had all the money in the world, what you would you be doing differently than what you’re doing now?” I get all kinds of responses: “I’d be volunteering at the Boy's Club," or “I’d start my own summer camp for disabled children.” I ask, “How many of you believe that the people who are doing those things now are doing them because they've already made enough money?” People immediately realize that it’s absolutely not true. Most people in the world who are doing charitable, nonprofit, and volunteer work are not retired self-made millionaires. They do it because that’s what makes them happy. That’s how we change things. We get people to look at what they want from life and what they want to contribute to life. If you want your life and the outside world to change, then you have to put all of your attention on who you want to be in the world. How do you want to present yourself? If you put all your attention on that, then you can begin creating the world that you want. In order to control your life, you have to place attention on it. Right now, most people’s attention is pointed outward and not inward. Socrates said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Today we’re being faced with the result of what a lot of unexamined lives look like. Monica: You were honored by Small Business Fortune Magazine and Winning Workplaces, as one of the Nation’s Best Bosses. What is your perception of a great boss? Jeffrey: Someone who listens. You have to learn to be silent in your own space. That’s the number one attribute

58 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012


Extraordinary Profiles of a good leader, one who listens very well. It doesn’t mean that you do everything that you're asked to do. People are happy with a leader who doesn’t agree with them if the leader listens to them. If you listen at a deeper level, you can’t help but change when you hear the truth. We all have faults. I don’t mind examining mine. Monica: What would you say is your overall perspective of life? Jeffrey: My primary aim or motivation in life is to be a light for others when they can’t be that for themselves. Monica: What is most rewarding when you help your clients build or rebuild their lives, from a financial standpoint? Jeffrey: The best reward I get is seeing them live their lives without concern or fear about money. When my clients reach a point where they believe that they can live their lives without being worried about running out of money or outliving their money, that's rewarding for me. I honor that trust that they give me to take care of them. That’s a huge reward.

What’s on the Inside Principles for: • Redirecting our efforts toward what we want to express

in the world, rather than what we want to get or how we want to feel. • Experiencing peace while working toward our material

goals

Monica: What is your last word?

• Mapping a plan for the future which embraces a

Jeffrey: We are infinite beings living in a finite world. We have everything to give the world and we really need very little from the world. 

• Deriving personal satisfaction through our affect on

continually evolving life story

others. Available at www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com.

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 59


Inspiration

Your resolve and courage will often be tested by the words and actions of others, but if you remain focused on living your best life, you will see remarkable transformations transformations..


Inspiration

Enthusiasm Kindles Confidence, Courage and Energy

Catherine Galasso-Vigorito

Best-selling author Napoleon Hill wrote, “Enthusiasm, if fuelled by inspiration and perseverance, travels with passion and its destination is excellence.” There is a powerful transformation that takes place when we are around sincerely enthusiastic people. They motivate us into action, encourage advancement and create the energy we need to ponder innovative ideas, to believe, and the sustaining power needed to achieve. And their ambitious, optimistic approach is positively infectious. Enthusiastic people find each day an adventure and lend enchantment to the ordinary. It’s been said that one of the best gifts we can give our children is enthusiasm. I was impressed with a story I read about wildlife artist, John James Audubon. (1785-1851). One of the greatest naturalists that America has ever produced, Audubon story is one of triumph over adversity. A lover and observer of birds and nature, he was a person of legendary strength and endurance and he also had a deep appreciation and concern for conservation. Audubon would vanish into the wilderness for months and when he would return he would have numerous, precious drawings of birds. Once, after months of being 62 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

away, he opened his truck where he had stored his cherished drawings, and found that the rats had gnawed at them, destroying his works of art. Audubon professed to a friend, “They have destroyed my drawings, but not my enthusiasm.” Thereafter, Audubon produced some of his greatest watercolors. It’s enthusiasm, enthusiasm that accomplishes. Moreover, enthusiasm is much more than just a zest for work; it is for all of life and living. Enthusiasm is a priceless possession to cherish. For life’s challenges cannot break a person whose spirit is warmed by the sun of enthusiasm. It releases the power to lift us above our obstacles and adds significance to all we do. Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” And Harry S. Truman, our 33rd president said, “I studied the lives of great men and famous women, and I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm.” Remarkable accomplishments have resulted from the communication of ideas and enthusiasm. For all achievements have their beginning in an idea and enthusiasm is the sustaining power of great thoughts.


Inspiration Genuine enthusiasm is contagious - and so is the lack of it. We must tune out the pessimist, not letting cynics drag us down. Having an enthusiastic mind-set means being continuously on guard against negative forces. Success and creativity grow and flow only in a positive, upbeat environment. We are the ones who create that atmosphere, and we must build a strong hold of defense around it. Nothing determines who we will become so much as those things we choose to overlook. Always search for the good. If someone says or does something hurtful, it says something about the other person, not about you. Some like it when you are down. It makes them feel superior. Toxic individuals are like quicksand and can torpedo any enthusiasm. Have cheerful, honest friends near, those who are heartening and helpful. And keep your mind on the good things of God, and off of the things you do not want. By cleaning out the dark corner of your mind, creativity immediately will fill it. Reader Tammy DiCarlo of Tamarella Yarns wrote, “After 27 years as a Registered Nurse, I have recently changed careers and opened up a yarn specialty shop. Yarn artistry is very nurturing and therapeutic. I feel like I left one career of nurturing the body to a career in nurturing the soul. When I give my customers a welcoming and enthusiastic greeting, their response is, ‘We welcome you!’” Those who are excited with enthusiasm and allow it to take hold and govern their thoughts find that new worlds open for them. As long as enthusiasm is there, so will new-found possibilities. Cherish your visions and your dreams. And through persistence and prayer, let’s follow our hearts; proceeding enthusiastically with our plans, and joyfully living our life, giving our all. 

Friendship Quotes

“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” Euripides

“A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.” La Rochefoucauld

“Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens adversity by dividing and sharing it.” Cicero

“Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another.” Eustace Budgell

“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit.” Aristotle

“Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.” Elbert Hubbard

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 63


Inspiration

Gratitude vs. Complaining

By Dr. Margaret Paul, PhD.

Who do you choose to be most of the time - someone who is grateful a lot or someone who complains a lot? Which one you choose determines how happy or unhappy you feel. “All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.” Dennis Prager Take a moment to think about this statement. Have you ever known a happy person who wasn’t grateful, or a grateful person who wasn’t happy? Perhaps a way to look at this is that happiness is a result of gratitude. The wonderful thing about this is that, while we cannot always just choose to be happy, we can always choose to be grateful, which results in happiness. So in a roundabout way, we are choosing happiness when we choose to be grateful. There is always something to be grateful about. You can be grateful that you are alive and have opportunities to learn and grow and share love. You can be grateful for the sun, the rain, the snow, the beauty of nature, the green of grass, the glory of trees, the color of flowers, the presence of animals, and the food you eat. You can be grateful that you have a computer on which to read this article. If you have health, you can be grateful

for that. If you have friends, you can be grateful for them. If you have a mate, children, a home, a car, a job, you can be grateful for them. You can choose to be grateful for all the big and little things in life, each and every moment. The more you choose to notice what is good and beautiful, the happier and more peaceful you will feel. On the other hand, there are always things to complain about if that is your choice. Instead of noticing the beauty of the flowers, you can complain about having to water them. Instead of being grateful for the opportunity to be alive, you can complain about how hard it is. Instead of being grateful for the sun, the rain, or the snow, you can complain about how hot it is, how wet it is, how gloomy it is, or how cold it is. Instead of being grateful for the food you eat, you can complain about how hard it is to cook it, or how expensive it is to buy it. Instead of being grateful for your health, you can complain about your weight. Instead of being grateful for your partner or your children, you can certainly find endless complains about them. The more you complain, the more unhappy you will feel. It is not the person or the situation or the event or the past or anything else that is causing your unhappiness - it is your choice to complain about it instead of discovering what is wonderful about it and being grateful for it.

64 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

At any given moment, we each get to choose which part of ourselves we want to express - our ego wounded self who lives in our mind, or true, essential Self who lives in our heart and soul. If you decide to trust your mind over your heart and soul, you will likely find yourself noticing what you don't like and complaining about it in order to attempt to control it. Complaining is a form of control and the mind believes that if you complain enough, you can have control over getting what you want. Your true Self, the aspect of you that is connected with your higher Source of love and truth, lives in the present and feels grateful for the opportunity to express love and appreciation for all that is. The really great thing is that, given that we are beings of free will, we get to choose to be who we want to be, each and every moment! 


The Lighter Side


Lighter Side

Fear of Flying By Dorothy Rosby

I'm afraid of many of things, but I’ve never been afraid of flying. Here's why: A lot of people go on trips and most of them come back. Besides, most of the time when you get on an airplane, you’re going somewhere you want to go. I, for example, got on a plane on a recent subzero day and got off in sunny Tampa. Of course, it wasn’t sunny right away; it was dark. That's because our flight had been delayed due to bad weather back home. But a dark evening in Tampa beats a blizzard in broad daylight. That is not to say air travel doesn’t come with some stressors. If you’re like me, when you get to the airport, you’re still in the "Oh no! I think I forgot to lock the front door" phase of your trip. Then you go through security and suddenly, someone walking out your front door with your big screen television is the least of your worries. It's embarrassing standing there in stocking feet, digging through your carry-on for your quart-sized bag of 3ounce bottles, while other travelers get a good look at everything you thought was important enough to carry on the plane. Not only that, the whole process makes you feel strangely guilty. You wonder if you absentmindedly put the butter knife in your carry-on after breakfast. And what if, without thinking, you utter the word "bomb" and wind up being interrogated. Calm down. Remember a lot of people go through security, and most of them are allowed to get on the plane. Maybe that isn't as comforting as I meant it to be. Eventually you get your belongings loaded into tubs and shoved through the scanner. So far, so good. Then you walk through the metal detector and set off the alarm. You take off your belt and hope your pants don’t fall down. Meanwhile you're trying to keep an eye on your laptop which is way ahead of you now and looking very vulnerable. You’re so flustered when you finish that you forget to zip your carry-on, and when you pick it up, everything falls out. If you'd looked this crazed when you

66 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

started the process, they'd have pulled you out for questioning right away. The wait in the boarding area gives you time to relax--in some cases a lot of time. But waiting is preferable to sprinting down long corridors as your flight is being called. Eventually you board, if the weather and your luck hold out. If you're like me, you think you should listen to the safety instructions, both out of respect for the flight attendant and because, well, what if something happens? You're tempted to stand up and scold everyone who isn't listening. "In the unlikely event that we land in Lake Michigan, are YOU going to know how to use your seat as a floatation device? I think NOT!" But you're too polite for that, plus there might be an air marshal on board. You peek furtively at the person next to you. It seems odd to sit that close to someone for so long and not introduce yourself, ask where he's from, and if he knows your Aunt Harriet who used to live there too. Of course, she doesn't live there now. She moved four years ago after she left your Uncle John for, would you believe it, an airline pilot. Of course, it's even odder to sit that close to someone you’ve never met and talk too much. You hope he thinks so too. The captain comes on to say that the airplane has reached its cruising altitude. You have no idea what he’s saying, but his voice is reassuring nonetheless. The attendant brings you peanuts, babies cry, and the passenger in front of you puts his seat back all the way. Otherwise the flight is uneventful--one hopes. After the plane lands everyone gets up and stands in the aisle as though doing so will make the door open faster. It doesn't. When it finally does open, you follow the herd to the baggage claim area. This is a good time to remind yourself that a lot of people go on trips, and most of them come back with their luggage. 


Lighter Side

LINES FROM RESUMES WE HOPE AREN'T TRUE

Times Are Tough You'll know times are tough when ...

 My ability to complete projects on time is

unspeakable.  Hope to hear from you shorty.  Here are my qualifications for you to over-

look.  My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview

will result in a job."

 You order a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asks, "Can you afford fries with that?"  CEOs start playing miniature golf.  Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks trade higher than the big three.  You get a pre-declined credit card in the mail.  Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

 Previous experience: Self-employed

(a fiasco).  I am a rabid typist.  My experience in horticulture is well-rooted.  Education: College, August 1880 to

May 1984.  Special skills: Speak English.

Thanks, a lot Suzie's husband had been in and out of a coma for several months. The outlook was grim. One day, he motioned for her to come and sit near him. He whispered, "You know, you have been with me through all the bad times. You stuck by me when I got fired, when my business went under, when we lost the house, and when I got sick. And you know what?

 I am sicking an entry-level position.

"What, dear?" Suzie asked gently.  I saw your ad on the information highway

and came to a screeching halt.

"I think you're bad luck."

 Served as assistant sore manager.  Married, eight children. Prefer frequent

travel.  Education: B.A., Loberal Arts.  Objective: To have my skills and ethics chal-

lenged on a daily basis.  Experienced with office machines and make

great lattes.  Graduated in top 66 percent of my class.

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 67


Lighter Side

Zucchini Date Bread Ingredients

Directions

3 eggs 1 cup honey 1 cup chopped and pitted dates 2 1/2 cups sifted flour 1/2 cup walnut pieces 1 cup canola oil 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon baking powder 2 teaspoons baking soda 1 tablespoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon allspice 1/4 teaspoon ginger 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg 2 cups grated zucchini (coarse and with skin) 2 teaspoons vanilla

Whisk eggs together with oil, and slowly add honey and vanilla. Mix until well blended.

68 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

Stir in a mixture of the sifted flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, allspice, ginger and nutmeg. Add the zucchini, dates and walnut pieces. Mix thoroughly. Place the batter in a well-greased loaf pan or three miniature loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 to 60 minutes until golden brown and when a wooden skewer will pull cleanly from the loaf. Eat it while it's hot (you could add ice cream) or freeze the loaves for a winter treat.


Lighter Side

Colorful Pasta Salad

Ingredients

Directions

2 cups cooked rotini 2 boiled eggs, diced 1/4 cup feta cheese crumbles 1/4cupdiced celery 1/4 cup diced onions 1/4 cup light mayonnaise 1/4 cup sour cream 2 teaspoon sugar 2 teaspoon vinegar 1 teaspoon capers 1 teaspoon pimentos Salt and pepper to taste

Boil rotini until soft but firm (about 20 minutes). Drain and cool. Add the onion, celery, cheese, pimentos, and capers. In a bowl, whisk eggs, mix with the sour cream, mayonnaise, vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper. Stir until well blended. Add this dressing to the ingredients of the larger bowl and toss thoroughly. Chill until served. Makes eight servings.

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 69


Lighter Side

Big Three For the Grill

Balsamic-glazed Sirloin Four half-pound strips of lean sirloin steak 5 tablespoons Balsamic vinegar 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 1/2 stick melted butter Add salt and pepper to taste Directions: Score steaks diagonally and brush both sides with butter. Dust with salt and pepper. Mix the vinegar and Worcestershire sauce in a dish and brush the steaks with the mixture as they cook. Spicy Baked Beans Directions: Add these ingredients to two 15-oz. cans of pork and beans. 6 pieces bacon in small pieces 1/2 cup brown sugar 1/2 cup barbecue sauce 12 dashes Louisiana hot sauce

70 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

Mix in a grill-proof pan, and set on a medium-heat area of the grill before grilling the meat. Stir occasionally until it's bubbling. Perfect Grilled Corn 6 ears corn on the cob 1/2 stick melted butter Salt to taste Directions: Carefully peel the husks back on the ears of corn and remove corn silk. Brush the corn inside with the melted butter and add dashes of salt. Put the husks back in place and soak the corn in water for a few minutes Place the corn in its husks on the grill in a position of medium heat. Turn frequently until charred spots start to appear on the husks. Cooking should take about 10 to 15 minutes. Check for tenderness. Add your favorite summertime drink and a wedge of watermelon for a great backyard picnic.


Profile Resources Part One Lady King Peggy Pg. 4, An American Secretary Becomes An African King http://www.kingpeggy.com/, http://www.ocdcorp.org/ Author: King Peggy: An American Secretary, Her Royal Destiny, and the Inspiring Story of How She Changed an African Village, www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.randomhouse.com. Will Overstreet, Pg. 18, Turning Disappointment Into a Winning Strategy for Entrepreneurial Success http://www.voicesheardmedia.com/ Executive Chef Jourdan Cha’Taun Atkinson, Pg. 36, Culinary Innovator Transforms Childhood Adversities into Recipes for Success http://www.twitter.com/jourdanchataun/

Part Two Jeffrey Gitterman, Pg. 54, An Innovative Approach to Achieving Financial Success, http://www.beyondsuccessconsulting.com/, http://www.gawmllc.com/ Author: Beyond Success: Redefining the Meaning of Prosperity, www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com.

Photo Credits Lady King Peggy: cover photo by Sarah Preston. For remaining photos, please see individual credits within the article starting on page 4.

Additional Credits Graphics and Design: Jeff Hayes, http://www.plasmafiregraphics.com Monica Davis, Back Cover, Ever After Visuals, http://everaftervisuals.com

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 71


Writers and Contributors

William R. Patterson

Annemarie Cross

Ranked as the #1 Business Motivational Speaker by Ranking.com, William R. Patterson is a three-time award-winning lecturer and international bestselling author who uses his trademark approach, THE BARON SOLUTION™, to coach, train, and motivate business leaders, sales professionals, entrepreneurs, and investors. His breakthrough book, The Baron Son, has been translated around the world and featured in the Forbes Book Club and Black Enterprise. William is an internationally recognized wealth and business coach who has been a featured guest on over 500 television and radio programs. William's website, BaronSeries.com, is winner of four 2009 Web Awards including: Best Speaker; Best Male Author; Best Business Advice Site; and Best WealthBuilding Site. For more information, visit http://www.baronseries.com

Annemarie Cross is a Career Management & Personal Branding Strategist, Speaker, Consultant, Radio Broadcaster, and Author of ’10 Key Steps to Ace that Interview!’ She is also the founder/ principal of Advanced Employment Concepts – Career Management and Corporate Career Development Specialists offering powerful programs for people striving for career success and fulfillment, as well as savvy companies committed to building and retaining their most important asset – their staff.

Catherine Galasso-Vigorito

Jack Canfield

Catherine Galasso-Vigorito’s nationally syndicated weekly column, “A New You,” has endeared her to readers worldwide for over 15 years.

Jack is the founder and former CEO of Chicken Soup for the Soul® Enterprises, a billion dollar empire that encompasses licensing, merchandising and publishing activities around the globe. He is the Founder and Chairman of The Canfield Training Group which trains entrepreneurs, educators, corporate leaders and motivated individuals how to accelerate the achievement of their personal and professional goals. Jack is also the founder of The Foundation for Self-Esteem which provides self-esteem resources and trainings to social workers, welfare recipients and human resource professionals. http://www.jackcanfield.com/

Known for her ability to uplift and encourage, Catherine has become America’s most beloved inspirational voice. Catherine is the founder and CEO of her own company, A New You Worldwide, developing and designing inspirational products. Her mission is to instill hope in the hearts of people everywhere, inspiring them to live a better life. She makes her home on the East Coast with her husband and three daughters. Visit her website at www.anewyouworldwide.com Searching for inspirational gifts - visit http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/app.nav/ params.class.K990/walk.yah.0101-K990.

72 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

Widely considered a personal change agent and success catalyst, Annemarie has distinguished herself as being people-focused, caring, inspirational and life-changing in her approach. Annemarie can be contacted at www.a-e-c.com.au email: info@a-e-c.com.au.


Writers and Contributors

Rosalind Sedacca

Margaret Paul

Recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, Rosalind Sedacca is a Certified Corporate Trainer and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents facing, moving through or transitioning beyond divorce. She is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! which offers a unique approach to breaking divorce news to your children based on her own personal experience. She is also the 2008 National First Place Winner of the Victorious Woman Award.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a noted public speaker, bestselling author, workshop leader, relationship expert, and Inner Bonding® facilitator. She has counseled individuals and couples, and led groups, classes, and workshops since 1968. She is the author and co-author of eight books, including the internationally bestselling Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?, Healing Your Aloneness, Inner Bonding, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?

As a Certified Corporate Trainer and Business Communication Strategist she provides consulting, speaking, training and Executive Coaching services to organizations nation-wide on marketing, public relations and business communication issues. She specializes in gender-related dynamics, marketing to women and employeemanagement collaboration in the workplace. To learn more about her book, free ezine, programs and other valuable resources on creating a positive ChildCentered Divorce, visit www.childcentereddivorce.com and www.howdoitellthekids.com. For more information about her customized programs, audio and videotapes, and other services, contact Rosalind at 561-742-3537 or Talk2Roz@bellsouth.net.

Dawn Abraham Dawn Abraham is a Certified Life/Business Coach, and is an “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.com. She also partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to help them create balanced lives while earning more money. Law of Attraction, Self Esteem, Abundance, Meditation, Motivation, Reiki, Private & Group Coaching, Free Life Changing Mp3's and Teleclasses are offered. http://www.qualified-lifecoach.com

She is the co-creator, along with Dr. Erika Chopich, of the Inner Bonding® healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah, and of the unique and popular website www.innerbonding.com. Their transformational selfhealing/conflict resolution software program, SelfQuest®, at www.selfquest.com, is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to the general public.

Eileen Lichtenstein Eileen Lichtenstein, MS Ed, CEO of Balance & Power, Inc. is a certified Anger Management Specialist, Career and Mid-Life Coach, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique ) Practitioner and a former Biofeedback Therapist and faculty at Hofstra University. "SOAR! with Resilience™: The Interactive Book for Overcoming Obstacles & Achieving Success" is the core material for many of her trainings and a motivational read for anyone struggling to take their personal or professional life to a higher level of success and satisfaction. www.balanceandpower.com

July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 73


Writers and Contributors

Sharon Dahlonega Raiford Bush

Shelley Riutta

Sharon Dahlonega Raiford Bush is CEO of News Archives International. This multiaward-winning journalist writes and publishes news articles about productive individuals committed to making positive changes in their lives and in the world around them. She also writes and directs live performances for young, exceptional artists throughout the Los Angeles region. Sharon shares her life with her husband, veteran actor Grand L. Bush.

Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC is a Holistic Psychotherapist and Inner Bonding Facilitator in private practice specializing in Transformational individual counseling, presentations, groups and Workshops. To get her free workbook "What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Purpose and Passion in Your Life" or for information about the free teleclasses she does every month visit her web-site www.RadiantLifeCounseling.com or call her at 877-346-1167.

To learn more about Sharon, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Sharon_Dahlonega_Raiford_Bush and http://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonraifordbush. She can be contacted at https://www.facebook.com/TVwxGirl.

Dawn McCoy Dawn McCoy is author of "Leadership Building Blocks: An Insider's Guide to Success" http://flourishleadership.com/store/ index.html She is also is president and CEO of Flourish Leadership, LLC which provides coaching executives, public servants, and youth leaders. For author and speaker details, visit http:// www.flourishleadership.com.

Keasha Lee Keasha Lee is President of Striking Statements, LLC a company that provides public relations and social media strategy for small to mid sized businesses. www.strikingstatements.com

74 | Exceptional People Magazine | July-August 2012

Inez Bracy Inez Bracy is the host of her own radio talk show; Living Smart and Well and is a columnist for Senior Stuff a local ezine, the Orlando Examiner, a former columnist for the Island Voice magazine and the author of Rejuvenate Your Life in 21 Days. Bracy’s radio show, Living Smart and Well shares tips on creating your best life and is heard globally on www.livingsmartandwell.com. Bracy is an author, a masterful coach, powerful trainer, and a dynamic speaker. With more than 20 years of experience working for educational institutions and non-profits, Bracy uses her knowledge to help people create extraordinary lives. http://overfiftyfineandfancy.com Alexandra Watson Alexandra Watson is a Leading Happiness Coach, bestselling author and Co-Founder of National Happiness Day. She helps celebrities, Olympic athletes, and business professionals with dilemmas and personal issues. www.AlexandraWatson.com


Writers and Contributors

Dorothy Rosby Dorothy Rosby is an entertaining speaker and syndicated humor columnist whose work appears regularly in 30-plus newspapers in eleven Western and Midwestern states. She is also Community Relations Director for an organization which supports people with disabilities. She lives in Rapid City, South Dakota with her husband, son, mother, and hamster. Contact her at drosby@rushmore.com or see her website at www.dorothyrosby.com.

Greg Williams Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator, is an internationally sought after speaker/trainer. He provides negotiation expertise to corporate and individual clients that seek to maximize their negotiation efforts, at the negotiation table. You can sign up for Greg’s free negotiation tips at www.TheMasterNegotiator.com – You can also view his Negotiation Tip videos at http:// www.youtube.com/user/ TheMasterNegotiator - Greg’s motto is, “Remember, you’re always negotiating”.

Andrew Horton Andrew Horton is a very successful entrepreneur and master teacher. He is the author of Wot the (Bleep) Now and hosts a weekly TV series called the Empower Half Hour. He is an expert that speaks and teaches, using his extensive business background to inspire business professionals to greatness. His purpose is to empower exceptional people, winning teams and authentic leaders, inspiring them to shift their behaviour and attitude, thereby encouraging sustainable and on-going development. Andrew will act as the catalyst for success within any organisation. http:// www.andrewhorton.co.za/ July-August 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 75


www.exceptionalmag.com

Thank you...Founder, Monica Davis

“Service to others is the first step to being remembered by them. Always seek to add value to the lives of others.�

Photo by Ever After Visuals http://www.everaftervisuals.com


Exceptional People Magazine-July/August 2012