Leading Others to Live Purposefully
As a community leader, veteran seminar leader and coach Harry Shade has an enormous dream of helping one million people become a “better version of themselves." One might say that he’s well on his way. As an individual who has dedicated his life to the service of others, Shade’s remarkable vision has truly come to life. His outstanding record of accomplishments includes over 30 years of seminar leadership, training, facilitating and coaching individuals to live their best lives. Through many years of personal experience and as a certified Master Life Coach, Shade understands what it takes to live life to its fullest. Through his work, Shade has enabled people of all backgrounds to become empowered to realize their true potential, their purpose in life and discover powerful ways to fulfill their aspirations. His successful leadership abilities are evident through the lives he’s touched, both young and old. For the past 33 years, Shade has also coached young athletes, instilling in them a true sense of responsibility, leadership, and the importance of dreaming big. He is the author of Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life. His current book project is called “Raising Daughters; A Guide to Fathers” and “Raising Fathers; A Guide to Daughters”.
Shade states, “I thought I would put a book together on a father's guide to parenting a daughter. I decided it to be in the format of the ‘Chicken Soup’ series because I feel that the best way to learn is from others who have been there. Additionally, I wanted to give men the opportunity to share their stories and daughters the opportunity to honor their fathers, all while providing this information in a fun, creative, poignant way.” Through this latest project he is encouraging other fathers and daughters to share their stories as well. Shade enthusiastically shared his passion for serving others with the founder of Exceptional People Magazine. Monica: You have dedicated your life to the service of others. To you, what does it mean to serve others? Harry: For me it means to be there in any way I possibly can for other people, whether it's through doing seminars or writing. I’d like to say my purpose and passion in life, Monica, is helping people be the best they can be because that allows me to be the best I can be. And it really started when I was about 12 years old. My friends would come to me with their boyfriend/girlfriend problems around the seventh grade. I just had a knack for giving advice, whatever you want to call it, to help with those kinds of relationship issues even when I was young. For me, again, it's how can I help people in any way, shape or form. That type of service to others was instilled in me at a very young age by my mom, from family members and oth-
ers. My hometown is a little town of about 5,000 people where everybody knows your name. Everybody took care of each other, and they still do in a lot of ways today. It's just a very close-knit community. And so that's kind of where it all started. Monica: Sure. You have thousands of hours of training in so many areas of life, to include leadership. What led you into those various areas? Harry: Well, my first career was law enforcement. And that's where a lot of things like crisis management became a part of my life. A lot of my law enforcement time was in the military. So leadership training, those types of things was just all naturally a part of that. I've always been very curious and interested in personal development. I look at it from a viewpoint that all of life is a classroom and any opportunity presented to me that allows me to learn, grow and evolve, also allows me to become better at what I do. I went from law enforcement to 13 years of real estate and, again, I was helping people. The common theme for everything I've done through life has been helping and serving others. So even in real estate I did things to continue my education, not only professionally but also personally. I do that even to today on a daily basis. I ask myself what did I learn, how did I grow and how did I evolve? I had coached youth sports since I was 18 years old and I'm still coaching today, almost 32 years later. It all goes back to that mindset of how I could help and serve others.
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Monica: You are the author of a book called Rare Sense: One Day It Will Be Common, a Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life. What do you define as rare sense? Harry: Well, I think it is, in fact, commonsense but that people just don't use it like they used to. Everybody has commonsense about them, but we seem to use it less and less. I think we have allowed technology in some respects to take some of that away from us, because we don't communicate the way we used to. I call it rare because I don't see it being used like I did as a child. We didn't have Google. You had to figure things out for yourself. It wasn't easy. If you wanted to do a research project, you went to the library, or you had encyclopedias at home. And so, again, you had to use that commonsense about how you viewed the world and how you interacted with others. Monica: Absolutely true, so true. What do you consider to be the elements for a fulfilled and balanced life? Harry: Balance for me has changed over time. I think when I was in my 20s, balance was going out and dancing six nights a week, going out with friends, having a good time, focusing on starting a career. It was totally different than when I became 30 and I was married and I had my first child. Balance became how much time I could spend with family, and I was a little deeper into my career. I left the military because I didn't see my daughter. I barely witnessed the first year of her life. Today balance is a little bit different. My daughter is 21, so I spend more time traveling, speaking and training. I spend time with my extended family. I had to find balance within myself. How do I take time from each day for myself? That's what I now view as balance. Monica: You have an amazing list of accomplishments. What would you like to do that you have not yet accomplished? Harry: Well, I haven't got my book on the New York Times bestseller list, so that's something I want to do. The things that I really want to accomplish in my life are to travel to places that I have not been, meet people that I haven’t met, continue to write and work on projects, have our show, Marvelous Mondays with Harry and Phil, become famous and have the Ray Network become one of the most popular radio networks in the world. There are 62 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2012
lots of things I have on my bucket list. I want to be fully active my entire life. I don’t see myself sitting in a chair flipping channels. I want to be traveling and speaking in my 80s because there's so much to see, learn and do. Monica: You have set a goal of helping at least one million people to become a better version of themselves. How are you fulfilling your vision, and how are you able to measure your success? Harry: Well, I'm fulfilling it every way I can, Monica, through the radio show I just mentioned, through my company and in every interaction that I have. My focus is what I can do in this moment to be of service and to help people. For every 10 people I help, if I can influence them in some way and those people do it for 10 more, that's another way of drilling down and saying, “I've reached this many people.” I know just in coaching youth sports -- I’ve coached over 450 kids to this point. So I know that for every life that I touch, they can go out and touch another life. Monica: Having the privilege to be able to coach so many young people, what have you learned from them? Harry: Oh God. One of the things that I look at is what I can learn from every single person I connect with. In fact, I'll tell the people in the seminars I teach, “I'm here to learn from you.” So what have I learned from these kids? Oh, so much. I've learned patience. I've learned to stay youthful. I've learned about teamwork. I'm constantly learning from them. You know, a lot of times people say, “Well, I'm the instructor, and, you know, I'm going to teach you these things.” No. I take the exact opposite view. I'm the instructor. I'm the coach, but what can you teach me? There’s a young lady, Morgan, on a team that I coach. One of the things that she teaches everybody around her is humility. She's a very good basketball player, but she's an even better person. They're exceptional young women. It’s
priceless to see that they're willing to put in the time and effort to become better individuals. Monica: You are currently working on a series of books designed to help fathers raise daughters and for daughters to share how they have helped raise their fathers. What inspired you to begin this type of project? Harry: My daughter, very simply. When she was born and was handed to me, the doctor said, “You have a healthy baby girl.” The first word I heard was healthy, but then I heard girl. And I thought, “I don't know anything about girls.” I knew how to raise boys because I had coached boys’ baseball. I'm a male, so I understood them. So 21 years ago, I went out and I looked specifically for books on raising daughters. There was nothing out there. So I realized I was going to have to dive in and do the best I could. When my daughter was about 20, I realized there still wasn't anything specifically on that subject; how fathers can raise daughters. So I thought this would be an interesting thing to write about. I asked my daughter what she thought about it and she said, “Yes, that would be kind of fun to do.” Monica: What are some things that you believe can be learned from the father-daughter relationship that could possibly help improve the family unit? Harry: Well, one thing is a lot of times daughters just want their dads to be there. What I mean by that, for example, is going prom dress shopping with my daughter. I am going to share that story in the book. She didn't want me there from a fashion perspective, but she just wanted me to be there. She wanted me to see her come out of that dressing room in that dress. She wanted me to see her growing up and becoming a young lady. It was just important for me to be there. I think a lot of times men will discount that. We’ll sit back and say, “I don't want to go shopping.” It has nothing to do with shopping. It's just that they want their dad to be there in that moment and see his reaction when they come out.
biggest reward I get from any of that is simply two words, “thank you”. That's it. I don't really seek anything else, and I don't even necessarily seek that. It's just great when you hear it. Monica: It's nice to have people such as yourself who are positive role models in the lives of others to encourage them to make better decisions and choices. What’s your last word? Harry: My last word for everybody is that you matter. It’s as simple as that. Every single person matters.
Monica: Oh, absolutely it is. From all of your life experiences and the various fields that you have worked in, what stands out the most? What gives you the most fulfillment or what are you most proud of? Harry: I'm most proud of the fact that I can say that I have done everything that I can to be of service. The January-February 2012 | Exceptional People Magazine | 63
Published on Feb 2, 2012
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