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www.exceptionalmag.com

January-February 2014

CONTENTS

Extraordinary Profiles

Empowerment

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22 Limiting the Affects of Negative Environments

Lorraine Holmes Milton—A Woman with an Extraordinary Vision for Change

Minding My Business 12 Six Steps to Project a Professional Persona

23 How One Millionaire Went Broke and Came Back to Serenity 24 Peer Pressure—3 Parenting Tips to Teach Your Kids

13 Six Steps to Developing a Deal 25 How Can I Get My Partner with a Venture Capital Firm to Change 14 What Type of Person Naturally 27 Classic Advice that Leads to Workplace Success Gravitates Towards You? 16 Do You Negotiate Like Olympians?

Cover photo by Geoffrey N. Nesossi Cover design by Jeff Hayes

17 Finding the Right Business Partners 19 Matthew Martino—Founder of Let’s Fly Academy Inspires Others to Soar

A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities. William Arthur Ward.


Publisher’s Letter Dear Friend, I’m excited that 2014 is in bloom and we at Exceptional People Magazine look forward to introducing you to some exciting products and services that will help catapult you to a new level of success, help you to grow personally, and inspire you to reach well beyond your comfort zone to become more and do more. Our mission is to provide you with resources and information that will allow you to realize your full potential as an entrepreneur and career professional. I encourage you to take action to achieve your dreams. Don’t let opportunities pass by, as there is no guarantee they will be available to you again. What are you doing to increase your knowledge, worth and influence? Are you developing great partnerships to help you grow? Are you using your experiences to help change someone else’s life? Are you experiencing hardship right now? Millions of people are out of work and many of them have given up on seeking new employment. If you are experiencing a difficult challenge today, don’t give up. It is those who remain persistent and consistently take action who always reap great benefits. If you are a career professional who can’t find work in your specific field, consider other skills that you possess. Determine if there is an opportunity to find employment using one of those skills or you may even start a business. If you are a business owner who can’t seem to get your business moving forward, seek out a business coach or mentor to help you determine your next steps. If you are experiencing a personal challenge, don’t be dismayed. Learn from it and use it as a source of knowledge, so that others might be inspired to overcome similar challenges. If your life seems like it’s in pieces right now, I want you to know that you have the ability to turn challenges into triumphs. It is a new year and new season and I encourage you to expect great things in 2014. Your expectations and attitude set the tone for your life. So no matter what you’re experiencing at the moment, I guarantee you that if you change your mindset, your life will also change. I wish you happiness, peace, prosperity and great health.

Exceptional People Magazine is not just a magazine. It is a life-changing experience. January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 3


Lorraine Holmes Milton

A Woman with an Extraordinary Vision for Change


Extraordinary Profiles

A proud 21-year veteran, born and raised in Detroit, Lorraine Holmes Milton has made a significant contribution to her community, the nation and the world. It is not just her service to America that makes her special, but her spirit and strong desire to make a difference in people’s lives. Her love, compassion, and desire to help others is what truly makes her extraordinary.

Her mission is to mentor and work with young girls and unwed mothers, to encourage them to dream big and to focus on their education and future. Is important for them to know that their lives are not over if they become teen mothers, and they should not allow their current circumstances to limit their potential. This is just the beginning of the positive impact that Milton is destined to make on her country.

As a veteran, inventor and author, Milton is willing and ready to take the country by storm by sharing her life experiences, knowledge and talents in ways that will help improve lives.

Milton shared with the founder of Exceptional People Magazine, her extraordinary life experiences while serving in the military, her experience of becoming a teen mother, and her powerful vision for national and global change.

It could be said that if it were not for the military, Milton might not have discovered the many creative skills and talents that she possesses and is using to make a difference.

Monica: I want to thank you for your 21 years of service to our country. You are an Air Force and US Navy veteran and you have dedicated a good portion of your life to serving the country. What inspired you to enter the military?

As the author of one of her most recent books, Disaster Master Plan, an Amazon #1 Bestseller, she provides an amazing resource filled with information to help people prepare for natural disasters. She knows all to well what it’s like to experience the affects of a natural disaster. In 2004, she and her family experienced the devastation of Hurricane Ivan. The reality of standing in long lines waiting to receive a few of life’s basic necessities became her inspiration for wanting to develop a plan that thousands of Americans can follow to prepare for disasters and reduce the amount of devastation they may experience. Disaster Master Plan, offers an extensive list of items needed to prepare for all type of disasters including, fires, tornadoes, and hurricanes. She’s also started a campaign called the “One Million Woman and Man Disaster Master Plan Campaign” to motivate the nation to prepare for disaster. The little girl who grew up on the east side of Detroit quickly grew into a young lady who enjoyed learning and excelled in school. But as a young teen, Milton became pregnant at the age of 16. This young lady who consistently excelled and received excellent grades was now faced with the challenge and reality of raising a child. It was an experience that will always remain with her, but she intends to share that experience with young teen girls.

Lorraine: I was working as a supervisor at Blue Cross Blue Shield in Michigan and on a particular day while sitting at my desk, a woman in an Air Force uniform walked into the office and everyone in the office came up to her. I didn’t know what was going on but evidently they knew her; she had gone into the military and came back to visit. I noticed she had on this beautiful and awesome uniform. It was crisp and ironed to a “T” and I said, “Wow, this is nice.” I never thought about going into the military until I saw her in that uniform. As a matter of fact, the very next day I signed up. Monica: At that moment when you signed up, had you focused on what you wanted to do as a career? Lorraine: Yes I did. At that time I was working in the drugs and medication department. So I knew I wanted to continue to work in that arena – health care administration. In March, 1974, I went to the recruiters office, I took and passed the test, took the physical and from there it’s history. I signed up for the United States Air Force. I was enlisted for 11 years. While serving I received my Bachelors and Masters Degrees. I later asked for a commission. At the time the Air Force did not have any slots available, so I applied for the Army and the Navy, and I decided to enter the Navy. January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 5


Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: So you really fulfilled your dream as a career person within the military. Lorraine: I did because the Air Force was so nice and kind to let me enter the field or program that I wanted, which was healthcare administration. The majority of the people who entered the Air Force had to go to technical school. Since I had experience in healthcare administration, I did not have to go to tech school. I did very well and received many awards in the military. Monica: Today, what advice can you give young people or anyone who might be interested in going into the military based on your experience? Lorraine: I may create some controversy by saying this, but first, I’d like to say that every male and female should sign up for the military. I don’t think males only should sign up for selective service, females should sign up as well. I understand there are extenuating circumstances, but I think women should sign up as well. In the event the nation needs additional recruits, the information will be readily available. There might be many females who wouldn’t mind serving but no one ever asked them to do so. The advice I would give is please commit to at least four years of service or serve at least one tour of duty in the branch of your choice. In the Air Force it is four years. Be a veteran, serve your country. Don’t depend on everyone else to serve your country. My comrades and I gave up our rights to protect your rights. Don’t you want to assist in making this country stronger? You have the opportunity to travel, you get good medical care and great educational benefits. I received four college degrees in the military and two of them are master’s degrees. The benefits of being a veteran are excellent and the pride that you take in yourself, I can’t say enough about that. Monica: What career opportunities are available to someone who has completed military service? Lorraine: Most career fields you can use as civilians. I have a friend who focused on security while she was in the military, and now she has a great career working in Washington, D.C. I have another friend who served in the military and was a chef and they sent her to the best 6 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

culinary schools. She served six years, attended culinary schools and served in the cafeteria. She’s an excellent chef. Now she has skills that she can pass down to her children and grandchildren. My husband is a 23-year veteran and a Bronze Star recipient. He served two tours in Vietnam. He specialized in electronics, which is also a great career in civilian life. Monica: I think from a young person’s point of view, they see going into the military as a dangerous endeavor. Well, the potential has always been there, but look how many people have chosen to serve? Lorraine: Yes, there is that potential but I think the benefits outweigh the danger. Everyone has to look at this option for themselves. I went into the military during the Vietnam era in 1974 and the war didn’t end until 1975. You have to have courage. Even though you are afraid, do it anyway. You’ll find that it is worth it. That’s what I did. Monica: It truly has paid off for you. Lorraine: It has paid off tremendously. Even though the military gave me the opportunity to go to school, I learned a lot just performing my everyday duties, working at the information desk, working on call on the weekends, interacting with the enlisted personnel and officers on a daily basis, for example. The character building that you receive and the friendships that you build from around the world are amazing. You can’t place a value on it, because it’s priceless. Monica: I also believe that it offers young people structure in their lives. Lorraine: That is the main reason why I say every young person should do at least one tour of duty in the military, because it does provide structure and assists them in growing up and becoming independent. It will help them build character and give them direction on what path they should take. The one thing about the military that still helps me today is the fact that I learned valuable skills. It inspired me to start one of my other businesses called Lorraine’s Creations where I invented the Blanket Pad. When I first went into the military, we were given a test and asked what skills we excelled in. The test indicated that I was skilled at using my hands. Of course I like to write, but now I also sew.


Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: It is amazing that many skills and talents that you acquire while serving in the military are transferable to civilian life. Lorraine: Yes it is. That’s the beauty of it. I could have used my skills as a healthcare administrator, but I had a disability and I decided to become a writer and entrepreneur. Monica: Talk a little about Lorraine Holmes Milton. Who is she? Lorraine: Lorraine Holmes Milton is a very caring and compassionate person. I’m willing to help and give to anyone who needs service or assistance. I am a veteran, inventor, founder and an author and poet. I wrote the book, Disaster Master Plan, because I experienced the devastation of Hurricane Ivan in September 2004. It was horrendous. Monica: In what ways did that storm impact your life, both at that time and over the years? Lorraine: In the short term, the impact was physical damage -- a lot of water damage in our home. There were trees that had fallen in our yard. We stood in very long lines trying to get the most basic supplies that we needed to survive, such as food, water and ice. Some people who stood in line with babies needed diapers and formula. It was awful and so I said to myself, “I need to develop something so that the next time this happens I will have a disaster kit.” Monica: How did living through that experience change your perspective on life? Lorraine: It helped me realize that I need to be prepared for disasters. Now I am trying to encourage the entire nation to be prepared for disasters. Everyone should have the basics or essential items for disasters such as food, water, an emergency radio, a flashlight, a nebulizer for asthma, or an oxygen tank, for example. People need to be prepared. Monica: I would imagine your purpose in writing your book, Disaster Master Plan, Prepare Or Despair - It’s Your Choice, was to give people insights into how to prepare for any type of disaster. Additionally, it is a great book because you actually list many different items that people should already have available.

Lorraine: Yes, that is correct. I also sent a letter to President Barack Obama and Vice President Joseph Biden and 60 members of Congress, to request their assistance in giving information to their constituents. I started a campaign called the One Million Woman and Man Disaster Master Plan Campaign. The campaign is designed to get one million Americans prepared. I know there are 300 million Americans but I feel that one million is an excellent point from which to start. Those one million can assist their families and friends and from there we create a ripple effect. Monica: Absolutely. Once you get people on board, and they become excited about it, they will pass it along to others. A lot of people, regardless of how often they are told that bad weather or some type of disaster is coming, just don’t prepare. They think they can weather the storm. Is there a message you can provide to encourage people to rethink their priorities? Lorraine: Absolutely. Please prepare for disaster. Don’t put your family members and loved ones in harm’s way just because you are too stubborn to evacuate. If the authorities tell you to evacuate, then follow their instructions. I recently sent a letter to the White House, asking President Barack Obama or any Congressman to present a bill that says, if you ask for assistance such as food and water, a radio, flashlight, blankets or anything, or if you ask for assistance from a fire department to evacuate you from flood waters, once the evacuation or the disaster is over, you should be billed for any funds expended as a result of your not evacuating as requested. I understand that some people cannot afford the basic elements of life. Everyone doesn’t have the means to purchase extra items. If you make over $50,000 a year, those are the people that I believe should be sent a bill for reimbursement. Monica: When you are faced with a potential disaster such as a hurricane or tornado and you have not prepared beforehand, what are some of the most important things a person should be concerned about and handle first when time is of the essence? Lorraine: First, you should have prepared in advance. Second, you should have a disaster preparedness kit in the January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 7


Extraordinary Profiles

trunk of your car. So if a flood occurred, you would have a life vest in your trunk that could be used for yourself or your child.

they could not afford them. So I plan to start a program called Elder Share (Because We Care). Once per quarter I am going to donate coats, boots, sweaters, hats and gloves.

Here are a few things you can include in your disaster kit: a crank radio, first-aid kit, power inverter, gas mask, dust mask, life vest, flashlight -- crank or solar, blankets, food, nutrition bars, canned fruit – those with a pull tab, ready to eat meals, one gallon of water per person per day, water purification tablets, etcetera. You can also purify your water using bleach but you must know the formula. People can get the formula by purchasing my book Disaster Master Plan or by researching it online.

Monica: I applaud you on your passion for wanting to be of service to others, and I’m certain that it will be a major success.

You should also include a pair of scissors, disinfectant spray, document holders, for example, so that you can protect your social security card, driver’s license and marriage license. These items should be placed in a waterproof container. I would like for everyone to include in their disaster plan, the necessary items for their pets. Monica: You’ve written a wonderful book that will save a lot of lives and I know it will do very well. What audience are you targeting? Lorraine: I am targeting females ages 35 to 50 and churches also. I believe that if I can get them to become prepared, they will spread the word about how important it is to be ready for disaster. These are people who already spread the word about religion, faith, and positive things, so I think that they will be encouraged to spread the word about protecting families and being prepared for disasters. Monica: With the many projects that you have been working on, including your most recent book Disaster Master Plan, you want to take some of the proceeds of your products to help rebuild the city of Detroit, Michigan. Can you talk about how you plan to support Detroit? Lorraine: Yes. I love Detroit. I was born and raised in Detroit on the East Side. I plan to give one-half of the profits from Disaster Master Plan to the city of Detroit through the United Way so they can help revitalize the city. When I was visiting my sister who resides in a senior citizen residence, I noticed that so many seniors did not have proper coats, hats and boots and scarves because 8 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

Lorraine: Eventually I want to make the Elder Share program available to seniors all over the United States and then begin to move abroad. I am very committed to assisting the elderly because many of them are disabled and some of them don’t have the financial ability to purchase those items. They’re paying such high prices for medication, their housing and everyday needs, that they don’t have the extra money to purchase warm clothing. I want to give them the best so that they will have what they need. Monica: As you mentioned earlier, you have invented a few products. Can you enlighten me on some of the products that you have developed? Lorraine: I have a trademark called, Do You Know Where Your DPK is? DPK stands for Disaster Preparedness Kit. I want that to be brought to everyone's attention, not just during hurricane season from June 1st to November 30th, but I want people to be prepared all the time. Hurricanes are not the only disasters that can happen. Another invention that is dear to my heart is the Blanket and Towel Pads that are used interchangeably. The blanket pad is fleece on one side and vinyl on the other side. The Towel Pad is terrycloth on one side and vinyl on the other. The Blanket Pad is the most popular because you can take it to the beach, use it as a baby diaper changing pad, and it is very good for sporting events. The possibilities are endless. Both products are washable and you can also place them in the dryer on low heat as well. People can learn more about it at: www.etsy.com/shop/lomiltdomilt Monica: You also write inspirational poems. Lorraine: Yes. My first book is titled, Perspectives: Poems That Will Touch Your Heart and my second poetry book is titled: Pinnacle: Poems That Will Inspire You. I write poems to encourage people to change their mindset and take them to a happy place.


Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: Out of all your accomplishment thus far, what you do you appreciate most and how do you use those experiences to inspire other women to realize their true potential? Lorraine: Since you asked such a very important question, I’ll refer to my new book that has just been published: “My Son Went to Jail for Taking a Bath”. I am so happy that I wrote this book. It is a must-read for every parent and their teenager. My son served 20 years in prison for carrying a pellet gun.

tremendously. He has demonstrated that your possibilities are endless and you can reach the top. I’ve heard Susan Sarandon speak on so many issues about civil rights, so I truly appreciate her. Al Roker is a guru, and I appreciate the fact that he promotes disaster preparedness. Monica: What is your last word? Lorraine: “Don’t be scared - Be prepared.” Think of this one word everyday and I think your life will improve tremendously. That word is “Love.” Think of love. 

My message to parents is, “Don’t let your child play with toy pellet guns or any other type of toy gun, because they can be misconstrued as real weapons by law enforcement. Another book I wrote that will soon be published is titled, “How I Easily Quit Smoking in Five Days”. I am passionate about finding ways to help people live smart, healthy and enjoyable lives. I like what President John F. Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” I love that quote. In the future I also want to work with young girls and teenage pregnancy. I became a mother at 16 years of age. I said then that when I became financially able I was going to assist unwed mothers, because so many of them feel that, “I’m a mother now and I have to save my child, now I can’t have a career.” That is absolutely not true. I had a child, I went into the military, went to college, I asked my best friend for help with babysitting and she assisted me. You have to put your pride aside and step up to the plate, plan and reach out. If you don’t know which direction you’re headed, talk to a counselor. Oftentimes people feel they will be stigmatized for getting counseling. A person who gets counseling is smart enough to get the assistance that they need. Monica: Most successful people if you ask them, will tell you that they either had a mentor or a coach, or someone in their life who inspired and motivated them to live up to their potential. Who are some of your mentors?

Disaster Master Plan: Prepare or Despair—It’s Your Choice By Lorraine Holmes Milton Available at Amazon: www.amzn.to/1bBIHsA

Lorraine: I love Oprah Winfrey; she has inspired the nation. I love Cicely Tyson because she has great character. Denzel Washington has a forthright demeanor about him and President Barack Obama has inspired me January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 9


Minding My Business

Joining a mastermind group is a great way to remain focused on your goals while formulating new ideas and gaining insights from others.


Minding My Business

Six Tips To Projecting a Professional Persona By Annemarie Cross

Whether you are representing the company you work for or are operating your own business it is vital to maintain a professional and successful image when interacting with existing or prospective clients and when networking with other business owners and professionals. You may not even realize that the messages you are conveying to others may be viewed as negative or weak, and by projecting anything less than your absolute best you could potentially harm your reputation as people may not take you, the company you represent, or your business seriously. To avoid becoming a casualty of communication catastrophe and undermining yourself and your abilities try some of the tips provided below:

 Avoid using weak and ineffective communication when promoting your ideas such as “You probably won’t like this idea but how about…” or “I’m probably way off track but …” Instead use strong communication when presenting your ideas; if you don’t believe in what you are saying or what you stand for, how can you expect others to?

 Emulate the physical ‘presence’ and mannerisms of self-assured and confident people. Stand tall with your head held high. Use a firm (although not hand crushing) handshake, smile, and remember to speak clearly and maintain eye

contact with the person to whom you are communicating.

 Don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake, but rather view it as an opportunity for continued learning and personal development. Everyone makes mistakes, but it is in the way you learn from these and pick yourself up that makes all the difference. One of my favorite NLP presuppositions is ‘There is no failure, only feedback.’ So, if a situation did not deliver the outcome as planned, review it and understand how you can improve on it, so that next time you are in a similar situation you can achieve the right result.

 Learn to accept congratulatory praise and compliments and don’t lessen the impact of your achievements by saying “Oh it was nothing really.” Be proud of what you have accomplished!

 Avoid using negative comments about yourself or your skills as this not only projects a poor self-image, but does little to enhance your selfesteem. Stop feeding your negative self-image by diminishing your skills and abilities, but rather be proud of who you are and what you have to offer.

 Don’t portray or describe yourself as a victim when faced with a problem but rather take on a proactive demeanor by demonstrating your ability to face challenges head on, even if that

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means asking for support from those around you. Remember, how we interact and communicate with people around us and with ourselves (through internal communication/thoughts) can impact how we are perceived. Ensure you are perceived in a positive and professional way by adopting some of the above tips!  To your success! Annemarie


Minding My Business

Six Tips on Developing a Deal with a Venture Capital Firm By Pat Markel

Some venture capital firms (VCs) back both large and small companies. To attract new investors into their companies, many entrepreneurs will make a presentation to a group of prospects. One partner at venture capital firm Draper Fisher Investors, quoted in INC., gives presenters this advice: 1. Don’t assume your audience knows what you do. Not every VC will have experience in your area. Tell them about your value proposition in detail. Practice your presentation many times before the meeting. 2. Consider the amount of time your prospects have allowed for your

presentation. Don’t be late, have the meeting room and your visual equipment set up and working, and don’t get caught up in small talk. Turn off your mobile phone. 3. Be flexible. VCs may question you before the presentation or interrupt while you speak. Give them the information they want as they ask for it.

exactly how they should be interpreted. 6. Be honest about the competition. Not mentioning competitors, or discounting them, undermines your credibility. If you can admit areas of concern and acknowledge a potential challenge from a competitor, your strengths will be all the more apparent. 

4. Avoid saying you’ll be covering that topic shortly. When you do cover the topic, cover it entirely, including the information you have already given. 5. Understand your data. Never say the numbers were prepared by someone else, so you aren’t sure

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 13


Minding My Business

What Type of Person Naturally Gravitates Towards You?

By Andrew Horton

Any great leader knows that the success of their organization or department depends on the caliber of people who fill their teams and on how well they are able to inspire and influence them. I am sure that you have a picture in your mind of the perfect people you want on your teams. What does that perfect team member look like?

What is their energy level like? What skills or knowledge should they possess?

What is their commitment to ongoing learning?

Do they come in early and stay late?

How is their work ethic? Are they entrepreneurial? Are they driven and passionate? Do they possess great leadership potential?

What is their age? Action idea: Explore the needs of your business or department, using the questions above as a guideline and understanding the specific needs of your department or organization. Describe the perfect team member to fill

your teams. The more detail you can write into this explanation, the better the final result will be. Explore the list of qualities, which you desire in your team members and see how many of those qualities you possess yourself. The type of person you will attract and will have the greatest success inspiring and influencing is not dictated by the qualities you want to see in the members of your team, but rather by who you are and how many of those qualities you possess yourself. As leaders we do not attract the type of people we want on our teams. We attract the type of people we are. If there are any qualities missing in you which you feel are crucial and nonnegotiable in your perfect team members, then it is time to develop those characteristics yourself or if that is not possible, you must take strong measures to counter this. Clichés are often filled with more truth than we imagine. I am sure you have heard the phrase “Birds of a feather flock together” I have seen this exact phenomenon manifest in my own life over the past few years prior to a very serious car accident, which I was involved in about 16 years ago, in which I fractured my cervical spine and lost 16 X 20 cm of the top of my head. I was driven by greed and personal financial gain. I worked 16 – 18 hours a day and found all my satisfaction in building businesses and working hard. All my

14 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

friends, acquaintances and team members at the time were entrepreneurs and young successful businessmen themselves. We were identical in the way we dressed, thought and operated. After working through a nine month recovery, during which I underwent extensive reconstructive surgery and physical rehabilitation. I woke up one day and realized that there was way more to life than what my life was demonstrating. I realized the true value of people and instead of striving to always win by walking over and overpowering everyone around me, as was the case before my near death experience, I embarked on a completely new journey in which I chose to help as many people as possible achieve their potential. My goal was to help people live fulfilling and meaningful lives. I embarked on a spiritual journey of enlightenment and growth and to this day I help as many people as possible to extend themselves beyond the boundaries of their self-imposed comfort zones and help them reach a better place where they can realize their full potential. Surprise, surprise, when I changed, so too did the people on my teams in my various businesses. The people I began to attract were very different in nature; they were more spiritual people, with flair to help others. This major shift in who I was and what I stood for has over the past few years resulted in a complete change to the makeup of all my teams in my various


Minding My Business

businesses. This major change in my life and how it has completely changed the makeup of my teams over the past 16 years is a perfect example of the fact that similar people naturally gravitate toward each other. If there are any general traits which you really dislike within your teams, look at yourself. Your team is more likely than not reflecting that trait directly from you. If your team is negative or constantly late for meetings or they refuse to come in early and stay late, then look at your own behavior. Your team is more likely than not, merely reflecting who you are as their leader.

If you do not like the traits of the people you are attracting as a leader, or your team is exhibiting a set of traits you do not like, what can you do about it? Action Idea: Look at yourself and discover where those traits or behaviors are present in you. Build a plan to eliminate or improve exactly that in yourself and almost as if by magic those traits will disappear in your team. The next challenge any great leader faces is that their teams are filled with too many people who possess the same qualities as they possess themselves. This is where any great leader

takes the next step and consciously starts recruiting people who possess strengths in areas where they possess weaknesses. You need to consciously fill your teams with as diverse group of individuals as possible. It is possible for leaders to recruit people different to themselves, but those are not the people they will naturally attract or who will naturally be attracted to them. ď ľ

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 15


Minding My Business

When Odds Are Against You ... Do You Negotiate Like Olympians By Greg Williams In watching the selection process that several countries went through, as they vied for the right to host the 2016 Olympics, I thought about the negotiation process they undertook. Below are some observations. All of the countries brought the highest level of resources they could muster, in order to display their bids in the ‘best light’ (No surprise there. The U.S. had President Obama and the First Lady, along with Oprah). There were naysayers who where cynical in their support for those that strove to have the Olympics in their country. In the U.S., the opposing party to the president chided him for the trip he made to Copenhagen to solicit support from the Olympic committee to bring the Olympics to Chicago.

Each country in contention choreographed its presentation with little room for spontaneity (They didn’t want to leave anything to chance). Each country sold the benefits of having the Olympics in their environment, without ‘knocking’ the other countries. (When you don’t have anything good to say about a competitor, don’t say anything.) All of the countries presented from a perspective of humbleness and humility. (If you’re too cocky, you can fall off a ‘high horse’ and hurt yourself.) When negotiating, there will be times when you have to ‘pull out all the stops’. In so doing, you may have to endure setbacks. You may think your efforts will not bear fruit; sometimes

you’ll be right; There are times when even broad shoulders sag. Nevertheless, when you negotiate, don’t let the thought of possible failure dissuade you from ‘foraging on’. If you can find that extra resource needed to get you over the top, success just might be waiting to greet you on the other side … and everything will be right with the world. 

The Negotiation Tips Are … * As you negotiate, always consider the message you’re sending and how that message is being perceived. Observe your surroundings and the body language displayed by the other negotiator to gain insight into his perception. The response, rebuttals, and remarks made by him, will give you great insight. That insight will possess signals that indicate how you should proceed. Take note of them, pay attention to your environment, and pay homage to what they mean. .

* There will be times when you have to persevere to keep the negotiation alive; don’t be thwarted without trying because the goal appears to be insurmountable.

* When you’re perceived as being weak at the negotiation table, seek leverage. Do so by assembling additional resources that will strengthen your position. Make sure the other negotiator perceives your improved position to be stronger. 16 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014


Finding the Right Business Partners By William R. Patterson

One of the major challenges facing entrepreneurs and business leaders is finding the right business partners. Great care should be exercised when selecting associates because the right choice can bridge gaps and assist in the execution of your business plan. The wrong choice can harm the reputation and earnings of your company. When forming strategic alliances, it is important to consider the following: Finding Believers in Your Mission No one will champion your cause like a true believer in your product or service. Align yourself with those who comprehend the magnitude of what you are doing and who will offer wholehearted support to your endeavors. Those who align themselves with you solely for monetary gain will often carry a short-term perspective that will conflict with your long-term business strategy. Active Partners vs. Passive Partners Are you looking for an active or passive interest holder in your business? Do you seek someone who will be involved in the day-to-day management of the company? Many entrepreneurs opt for passive partners to avoid having them encroach on the management of the business. If you elect active partners, it is important that they share the same vision, objectives, and ethics as your associates. Smart Money vs. Silent Money When pursuing financial partnerships, you have several options. You can choose investors that will solely provide financing or you can partner with funding sources that will also offer guidance and help with strategic planning. Silent money could be the right choice if you have a seasoned management team and desire total creative control. However, if in both cases you will surrender the same amount of equity, it makes more sense to partner with investors who are well-connected and may offer advisory services.

Complementary Skill Sets Your ideal operations partner will have a complementary skill set to strengthen your areas of weakness and allow you to compete effectively. The right affiliations will, most importantly, shorten or eliminate product and service development time. Your resources will not have to be spent acquiring expertise in areas where your partner is already adept. Alliances Your ideal partner should be in a position to help you form strategic partnerships. This person or organization should be able to help you align yourself with people who can assist in growing your business. Strategic partnerships can also bring about needed political affiliations. Growth and Exit Strategies A major point of contention for many partners is the company’s growth and exit strategy. Some parties may be content as the owners of a small business, while others seek to franchise or go public. All parties should be in agreement on how they plan to access the equity of the company, whether it is by salary and dividends, or a substantial liquidity event. The right partner can ease the road and multiply the profits of your business. Whether you are looking for investment funds, advice, a complementary skill set, or helpful associations, choose your relationships wisely. Wishing you continued success. ď ľ

William R. Patterson www.baronseries.com

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 17


Surround yourself with remarkable, influential and successful people without leaving home! Fresh Perspectives * Life-Enriching Information * Proven Advice Encourage your friends, coworkers and business associates to subscribe to Exceptional People Magazine today! www.exceptionalmag.com/subscribe.html


Minding My Business

His love for aviation inspired him to write his first book, “Lets Fly” which was well received by pilots and aviation enthusiasts around the world. Now he’s sharing his passion with thousands of flight enthusiasts. As the founder of the Let’s Fly Academy (LFA), an online resource academy, Martino provides information and resources to aspiring pilots and aviation enthusiasts. The academy is mainly run by student pilots but it gives those who are interested in learning how to fly the basics of what it takes to become a pilot. The LFA also runs regular competitions in conjunction with various airfields and flight schools, and these are aimed at giving aspiring pilots that first step they need toward their dream of becoming a pilot. The academy also maintains up to date information on rules and regulations for flight training, and how to obtain scholarships for flight training.

Matthew Martino

Founder of Let’s Fly Academy Inspires Others to Soar What’s keeping you from reaching your goal? The sky’s the limit, especially if your passion is flying. And if not, Matthew Martino can help you find a new passion. You’ll never know until you try it. A British Entrepreneur, film producer, bestselling author, and the founder of Let’s Fly Academy, Martino is

inspiring others to soar to their heart’s content.

If you have a dream of starting a new career in aviation, Martino, who is recognized and appreciated by aviation enthusiasts worldwide, can help you make your dream a reality. 

Website www.letsflyacademy.com Let's Fly Pilot Manual www.amzn.to/1f6YNv9 Let's Fly App

Starting at a very young age Martino had an interest in aviation, writing, and film, and he has turned each of those interests into successful opportunities for himself and now for many others. As an actor, he secured many acting roles and then moved on to producing and directing film projects.

www.bit.ly/1bJWjVU

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 19


Food For Thought

ISSN 1944-9062 Founder and Editor-in-Chief

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just the first step.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Monica Davis

Editors Jon Crump Marla Gem Beatrice Roots

Company Writers

“Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly” Stephen Covey

“My mind is a garden. My thoughts are the seeds. My harvest will be either flowers or weeds. “ Mel Weldon

“You can never earn in the outside world more than you earn in your own mind.” Brian Tracy

“The only way to multiply happiness is to divide it.”

Donna Carletta Kathy Kentty Pat Markel

Other Writers and Contributors Angie Brennan Annemarie Cross Catherine Galasso-Vigorito Dawn Abraham Dawn McCoy Doris Helge Dorothy Rosby Eileen Lichtenstein Greg Williams Inez Bracy Jack Canfield James Adonis Keasha Lee Margaret Paul Rosalind Sedacca Sharon Raiford Bush Shelley Riutta Sue Urda William R. Patterson

Exceptional People Magazine is published bimonthly by Atela Productions, Inc. The opinions of the contributors are not necessarily those of Atela Productions, Inc.

Atela Productions, Inc. 2961-A Hunter Mill Rd., Ste. 624 Oakton, VA 2212 www.exceptionalmag.com

For advertising information please contact The advertising department at 703-865-8308.

Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved.

Paul Scherer Exceptional People Magazine is a copyright of Atela Productions, Inc. The contents of this publication may not be printed, copied or distributed without the express written consent of the Publisher. 20 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014


Professional and Personal Development

Empower Yourself...


Empowerment

Limiting the Effects of Negative Environments By Jack Canfield

In an ideal world, we’d fully isolate ourselves from negative environments. The reality is that we can’t fully escape negative environments. However, there are steps we can take to minimize our exposure to negativity and limit its impact. Acknowledge Your Reality When we believe that we are being forced to tolerate a negative environment, such as a spouse who constantly complains or working for a company whose values don’t match our own, we can feel trapped and hopeless. The illusion of being subjected to negativity against our will can increase stress and depress our mood.

what we resist, persists. Instead, acknowledge and embrace your feelings. Only by doing so will you be able to progress to the point of letting the negative feelings and judgments go. Journaling is another excellent way to release your feelings. At the end of the day, pour out all of your negative feelings and thoughts onto paper. Use the Total Truth process described in The Success Principles to ensure that you’ve fully excavated your feelings about troublesome situations. Negative feelings are like weeds. If you don’t fully extract them (e.g., pull out the roots), they will come back. If you’d like, burn your journal pages or letters that you write. 3 Decompression Tips

To regain a sense of control, it’s important to acknowledge that you do have a choice in every situation. You may feel that you can’t afford to quit your job because the pay and benefits are too good and the job market is too unstable. Instead of bemoaning the fact that you’re trapped in a job you don’t like, acknowledge that you do have the choice of quitting. Instead, you are choosing to keep your job, because you enjoy the stable pay and benefits that it brings. This simple reframing of your situation will ease your stress and make you feel more in control. When you feel negative judgments arising, don’t resist them. Remember,

When you find yourself repeatedly exposed to the same negative environments, such as your office, use one or more of the following tools to decompress and center yourself before moving on to the rest of your day.

 Don’t listen to the news, which only adds negative images and thoughts to your mental space. If you commute between your office and home, spend your drive time listening to relaxing music or educational CDs. When I have to drive home from Los Angeles after a trip, I like to listen to a comedy channel. Because I spend the entire

22 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

drive laughing, I walk in the door ready to greet my family pumped full of feel-good endorphins.

 Create a decompression ritual to help you disengage from your negative environment. For example, take a walk after work, spend a few minutes meditating, or do yoga. A few minutes invested in nurturing and calming yourself will be rewarded with a calm and happy remainder of your day.

 Do not use alcohol as a way to unwind. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, which means that any stress and unresolved anger you’re carrying will come bursting out more easily. The innocent targets of your attacks will the people who deserve your anger the least: your family and friends. Add to Your Environment There may be situations where you are unable to control an environment. However, that does not mean that you should give up completely. Look again to see what small steps you might be able to take to create a more nurturing supportive environment. For example, if your office culture tends to be negative, hang motivational signs in your work area or select a picture for your computer screen saver that uplifts and relaxes you. Take a quick walk at lunchtime


Empowerment

to reconnect with nature, or close your office door for a few minutes of breathing and meditation rather than gossiping over a cup of coffee.

How One Millionaire Went Broke and Came Back to Serenity By Pat Markel

Finally, strive to be as positive as you can be. Give up complaining and blaming, and look for the best in every situation. Not only will you attract other positive people into your life, you may be the beacon that inspires others to shift their attitudes, as well. 

Book Review To understand why she and others have squandered fortunes, she turns to money gurus such as Suze Orman, but also examines the ideas of Miss Piggy, Mae West, Scarlet O’Hara, Auntie Mame and Great Depression survivors. She writes a simple book with plenty of optimism and advice, including: Fifteen years ago Sarah Ban Breathnach had a best seller that topped the New York Times best seller list. Royalties from her first book, Simple Abundance, made her a millionaire. But Ban Breathnach (pronounced Bon Brannock) didn’t know how to handle money. She splurged on homes, paintings, antiques and other luxuries. And she married a free-spending Englishman who owned nothing but a car. Five years later, she was broke, homeless and staying with her sister. Now she has a new book: Peace and Plenty: Finding Your Path to Financial Serenity. Her advice on recovery targets women, but it works for men just as well or maybe better. She writes: “You have no idea how terrifying it is to rerun the reel in my mind of the money I wasted, opportunities I didn’t take.” One reviewer comments: “Delicious. Who doesn’t love to read about someone else’s world exploding?”

* Write down five things that got you through the day and gave you a feeling of peace or plenty. * Keep a contentment chest filled with things that make you happy, like photos, letters and objects that help you visualize something you want to bring into your life. * Negotiate payment arrangements with creditors before the account is sent to a debt collection agency. * Track daily spending and budget. If you are married, or have a partner, have your own bank account.

Peace and Plenty: Finding Your Path to Financial Serenity By Sarah Ban Breathnach, Grand Central Publishing, $19.96. 

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 23


Empowerment

Peer Pressure ~ 3 Parenting Tips to Teach Your Kids By Jean Tracy, MSS

Peer Pressure Statistics: Time/Nickelodeon surveyed of 991 kids ages nine to fourteen about peer pressure. 36 percent felt pressure to smoke marijuana, 40 percent felt pressure to have sex, 36 percent felt pressure to shoplift, and four out of ten felt pressure to drink. - from Michele Borba, Ed.D. Yikes! What can you do to help your child buck peer pressure and act with character? Prepare your child by teaching assertiveness, choosing good friends, and listening to his inner voice. First Character Building Tip – Teach Assertiveness Imagine you and your child are discussing refusal skills. Pretend your child is being pressured to smoke. Ask your child to give 3 reasons why smoking is a bad idea. Write them down. Then act as if you are his peer and pressure him to smoke. Tell your child to give you the 3 reasons why he won’t smoke. Make sure he uses a firm voice, looks you in the eye, and uses few words with no excuses. Use this with each of the Time/ Nickelodeon survey topics above. Second Character Building Tip– Choose Great Friends Ask your child to name some kids who wouldn’t pressure her to do the wrong thing. How are they different

from the kids who would? Ask your child if kids who choose to do the right things like tell the truth, do their schoolwork, play fair, and don’t smoke make good friends. Then ask your child “Would choosing these kids to be your friends make life easier for you to make good decisions? Why or why not?” Third Character Building Tip– Listen to Their Inner Voice Discuss how we all have an inner voice. Some experience it as a nudge that something is not right. In the heat of the peer pressure moment it’s easy reject that voice or feeling. Suggest using the motto, “When in doubt, think it out.” This helps your child slow down long enough to decide what to do. Act out peer pressure situations like shoplifting, lying, and hurting others. Tell him to repeat that motto quietly inside his head during the role-play. Then ask him how he felt using it. Finally, ask him to let you know when he practices it in real life. One more thing, post “When in doubt, think it out,” on the refrigerator as a reminder. Peer Pressure Summary: Bucking negative peer pressure is easier for children when you teach assertiveness, promote their choice of great friends, and show how to pay attention to their inner voice. With these 3 parenting tips they are less likely to

24 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

get into trouble and more likely to become people of character.  


Empowerment

How Can I Get My Partner To Change?

By Dr. Margaret Paul

In this article, discover the things you might need to change in yourself in order to have a chance at creating change in your partner and in your relationship. How much energy do you spend trying to get what you want from your partner? Think about it for a moment - how much of your thinking time is spent on what to say to your partner to get him or her to be the way you want him or her to be?

Many of us spend a lot of time thinking about how to get what we want from our partner - how to get our partner to open up, be more caring, see us, love us, pay attention to us, spend time with us, have sex with us, and so on. We spend at lot of energy trying to get what we want from our partner because we believe that if only we do it right - behave right or say the right thing - we can have control over getting our partner to change. This illusion of having control over getting another to change keeps us stuck in

behavior that not only does not work to get us what we want, but drains us of the energy we could be using to learn to take loving care of ourselves. It is very hard to accept that we can’t “get” others to do what we want them to do, even if it would be good for them and for the relationship. In my counseling work with people, I frequently hear: “How can I get my husband to read your books?”

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 25


Empowerment

“How can I get my wife to be more sexual?” “How can I get my husband away from the TV to spend time with me?” “How can I get my wife to be on time?” “How can I get my husband to talk with me about our problems?” “How can I get my wife to spend less money and write the checks into the checkbook?” “How can I get my husband to clean up after himself?” “How can I get my wife to stop being angry?” “How can I get my husband to stop blaming me for everything?” Everyone wants to know, “How to get my partner to change?” The truth is, you can’t. What you can do is take your eyes off your partner and put them on yourself. You have total control to change yourself, and no control to change your partner. The question you need to be asking yourself is, “What do I need to do for my own well-being if my partner doesn’t change?”

 “Do I need to stop reacting to my partner with compliance, resistance, withdrawal, blame, lectures, explanations, nagging or anger?” These protective, controlling ways of responding to conflict will always exacerbate the conflict and make us feel badly within. The wounded part of us believes we can get love and avoid pain with these protective behaviors, but in reality it is often these

behaviors that are actually causing our own pain. None of these behaviors are loving to ourselves, nor are we taking personal responsibility for our own feelings and well-being when we behave in these controlling ways.

 “In what ways do I need to be more loving, caring, understanding and attentive to myself - to my own feelings?” Often we project onto our partner the inner unhappiness that results from not taking loving care of ourselves. Instead of trying to get our partner to me more loving, open and attentive, we need to focus on being open, loving, kind and attentive with ourselves and with our partner.

 “Do I need to take specific action, such as changing the way we handle money, or the way we deal with getting to places on time? How can I take care of myself in these kinds of conflicts so that I don’t feel like a victim?” Anytime we blame another for our unhappiness, we are being a victim. Moving out of being a victim means taking loving action for ourselves so we are no longer frustrated with the situation.

 “Do I need to be willing to explore with my partner the underlying reasons for a lack of intimacy or sexuality? Am I willing to be open to learning with my partner, or am I stuck in just trying to control? Opening to learning with your partner can be magical regarding creating intimacy and resolving conflict. While you cannot make your partner be open to learning, if you open to learning yourself, you might discover the power you have to change your

26 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

relationship. When you start a consistent Inner Bonding process and move out of seeing yourself as a victim of your partner’s behavior and into taking loving action on your own behalf, you may be surprised at the changes that occur in the relationship. Most conflict is stuck in power struggles that result from each person trying to control with some form blame, anger, resistance, withdrawal, or compliance. When, through the practice of Inner Bonding, you stop your end of the power struggle and start to take care of yourself, as well as open to learning with your partner, the possibility opens for great change to occur. 


Empowerment

Classic Advice that Leads to Workplace Success By Donna Carletta

The most common problem in the workplace is “time poverty.” It’s a term for not having enough time to handle all your work responsibilities. Putting in a lot of extra hours could help a little, but it's not the answer. Neither is trying to do two things at once. Some steps that would help:

 Become an expert at what you do. Study the work practices of people who are very efficient and copy them. You will find that they are extremely well organized. Learn from experts in your field.

 Decide what is the most important thing to do. Decide how to do it, then concentrate on that alone until you are finished. No email, phone calls or pleasantries for people who stop by to see you. Tell them you can't stop now to chat or deal with anything else.

 Be open to new ideas. Consultant Brian Tracy says some overwhelmed people think they already know all they need to know on a subject. Never stop learning.

 Be flexible. Saying “I changed my mind” solves many uncomfortable situations people get into. They stay there because they are unwilling to admit they have changed their minds.

 Face up to mistakes. Saying you made a mistake is a sign of mental maturity, personal strength and individual character. Become an expert on time management. Read books, listen to audio programs and take a course. Then practice every day until you master time management skills.

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 27


www.exceptionalmag.com

Extraordinary Profiles

January-February 2014

30

CONTENTS

Lorraine Holmes Milton—How I Plan to Help Revitalize My Home Town of Detroit

Inspiration 36

Be Not Dismayed, God Will Take Care of You

38

Carole M. Amber—Turning Sorrow into Peace, Love and Inspiration

44

Becoming Vision-Focused for the Year Ahead

The Lighter Side

Cover photo by Geoffrey N. Nesossi Cover design by Jeff Hayes

46

Ban the Bully

47

Profile Resources

48

Writers and Contributors


Lorraine Holmes Milton

How I Plan to Help Revitalize My Hometown of Detroit


Extraordinary Profiles

Her compassion for people and her desire to serve and change lives is never ending. She may no longer be serving her country in the military, but as a civilian, Milton continues to be of service to her fellow Americans, making a difference in new and dynamic ways. From young children to the elderly, her mission is to share her life experiences in ways that will help uplift millions of people, giving them a true sense of what it means to “love your neighbor” and to give back to those less fortunate. As a native of Detroit, she has a vision to help revitalize her hometown, to help bring it back to the thriving city it once was in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Of course she can’t do it alone but she’s setting the stage for massive action, and she is appealing to all Detroit natives and Americans alike to help make Detroit the city of growth and beauty that it was at one time. “I plan to give one-half of the profits from my book, Disaster Master Plan to the city of Detroit through the United Way, so they can help revitalize the city,” said Milton. She also has plans to establish a charter school, the Barack and Michelle Obama School of Excellence (BMOSE) in her hometown which will also bring needed revenue to the city, while creating a model of excellence for learning. These are just a few of the exciting and dynamic projects that Milton has begun to develop to continue to serve her country and its people. Monica: Tell me a little about what life was like growing up on the East Side of Detroit? Lorraine: Let me start by saying that I think my mother is the greatest mother in the world. She had many challenges because there were ten of us, and she was on public assistance because it was difficult to make ends meet. I think that is one reason why I am so keen on giving back. My father was absent from the home most of the tine. He helped build the Detroit City County building which is very significant and a very beautiful building downtown. He is a construction worker.

I attended Campbell Elementary School in Detroit near Grove’s Point where Aretha Franklin used to live. I remember while attending elementary school, at 9 o’clock everything would stop. You would put your pencil and paper down and they would pass out graham crackers and milk. I used to watch the clock because I couldn’t wait for 9 o’clock to arrive. I loved graham crackers and milk and after I ate them, I felt as though I could do anything. I was an honor student and I thrived in the Detroit public school system. I attended Newton Junior High school and then attended Southeastern High School. That’s when I became pregnant at 16. In my book, “My Son Went to Jail for Taking a Bath,” I wrote an open letter to teenagers because I want them to know that just because I made a mistake, it doesn’t mean they have to make the same mistake. I did not plan to have a baby at that age. At that time in 1970 you didn’t walk around pregnant in a school, so I attended a school for unwed mothers. I had my son in May and my graduation was in June. I excelled, even while attending school for unwed mothers. I was determined to succeed. When I walked across the stage with all the other graduates, I was so proud. I always told myself that no matter what, I am going to be the best person that I can be. The military helped me to keep that motto in my mind. Monica: That proves that regardless of your current circumstances, you can always overcome challenges that you may have thought were impossible if you have the right mindset. The fact that your mother had to single-handedly raise ten kids, what would you say helped her through that period as a single parent? Lorraine: My mother always had a strong faith. She always attended and took us to church. It was her faith that carried her through. Monica: Based on what you see happening today in Detroit, what is your perspective on the down-spiral of the city over the past several years? Lorraine: I only have positive thoughts about Detroit. It is a much different Detroit now than it was then. When I was growing up, there were 2 million people living there, now it’s only about 700,000. Even though Detroit is not January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 31


Extraordinary Profiles

where it was in the 60’s and 70’s, I believe it will be revitalized, and I am going do my part to help rebuild my hometown. Of course I am going to need a lot of people to assist me, but I’m going to begin the process myself. Monica: I appreciate the fact that you have a lot of love and passion for your hometown so much so that you want to help rebuild it, be of service to others and make a difference in lives of thousands of people. Because of that you have developed some great ideas on how you plan to make a difference. For example, you are developing a plan to build a private school. Talk about your purpose behind it and your vision for the project. Lorraine: I want to start a school on Detroit’s East side named after the President and First Lady; the Barack and Michelle Obama School of Excellence (BMOSE). It will be a Charter or Private school. Details will be planned in 2014. This school should bring needed revenue to the City of Detroit because all residents must be a resident of Wayne County. I want it to be modeled after the Detroit Country Day school which originated in Detroit many years ago but later moved to the Greater Detroit suburbs. It is an excellent state of the art school, well renowned and its academics are outstanding. Two hundred schools in Detroit were closed and my dream is to help rebuild the educational system in the city. Monica: The fact that 200 or more schools in Detroit were closed means there are many young kids suffering from a lack of education. Lorraine: The students of Detroit are just as good as students anywhere. In addition to giving them excellent academic opportunities, we will teach them about the importance of giving back. Monica: One of the main keys to success is sharing your blessings with others. What is it that you want to gain or accomplish from naming the school, the Barack and Michelle Obama School of Excellence? Lorraine: I want people to know that it will be a nononsense academic and leadership school. Young kids will be dressed in uniforms and they will adopt a high standard of excellence. Monica: Would you say that it is going to be a school where young kids can dream big and strive to become future CEOs, community and political leaders, or whatever they wish to become? 32 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

Lorraine: Yes. Even the president of the United States. Monica: There are other ideas that you plan to implement to help revitalize the city of Detroit and give back to that community. I admire you for your dedication and wanting to uplift the citizens of the city and help provide resources that are needed to encourage self sustainability. Talk about the brief period during your early twenties. You were about 21 when you tried drugs. If you recall, what were you thinking and what made you decide not to pursue that behavior? Lorraine: It goes back to the day when I was at the office at Blue Cross Blue Shield and I saw the woman in the Air Force uniform; it was several months before then that I tried using drugs. It was peer pressure. After I did it, I said to myself, “This is not right and it’s not going to allow me to be the best person that I can be.” Because I wanted to excel in life, I walked away from it. Monica: You have to be willing to change yourself, your environment, your peers and friends, and remove yourself from those who are not having a positive impact on your life. Lorraine: I made the best decision to walk away from it and haven’t looked back since. Monica: What lessons learned can you share with young people and adults about the importance of being steadfast in the values that your parents instilled in you and staying away from drugs? Lorraine: I first want to say, “Don’t ever try drugs.” Second, most people are inquisitive just like myself. I think very smart people are inquisitive. I want them to know that it can lead them to destruction. If you are already on drugs, stop immediately. If you can’t do it on your own, ask for assistance. Try to find a way to remove yourself from that environment quickly. If you have family members in another state, try reaching out to them. Monica: Is there anything else you’d like to mention about your plans to revitalize your hometown of Detroit? Lorraine: My maiden name is Solomon and one of my future goals is to build the Solomon Inspirational Park where kids can learn and have fun. It will be a different type of park where kids can learn and become inspired by quotes from people who have helped changed the world.


Extraordinary Profiles

Monica: Sometimes all it takes is an inspirational quote to spark the mind of a young child.

Lorraine Holmes Milton Latest Invention Blanket Pads

Lorraine: I want the children of today and tomorrow to be great leaders. I want the world to change positively. I want people to achieve greatness. Additionally, one other project I’m working on is Lady Lo’s Celebrity Galaxy, and its purpose will be to unite celebrity families and friends and to update them on the latest birthdays, graduations, weddings, anniversaries, and other significant celebrations. This unification book will be a semi-annual treasure. 

Available at: www.etsy.com/shop/lomiltdomilt

My Son Went to Jail for Taking a Bath: A “MUST READ” For Every Parent and Their Teenager By Lorraine Holmes Milton Available at Amazon: www.amzn.to/1nminIg

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 33


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What others are saying about Welcome to the Top: “Wow, I simply love this book. I couldn’t put it down; each page was inspiring and led to the next. I was personally empowered by this tome of collective wisdom and insights. Welcome To the Top is a must read for every person who is serious about leading a fulfilling and productive life.”

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“Welcome to the Top is filled with valuable stories and brilliant tips that will catapult entrepreneurs to leap forward to success. The wisdom they each share is profound and will shorten the learning curve for readers and save them from making costly mistakes. Monica Davis’ Welcome to the Top is a masterpiece and an absolute must read for entrepreneurs.” Chrissy Carew Hall of Fame Master Certified Coach


Inspiration

“Joy is what happens when we realize how good things really are.� Marianne Williamson


Inspiration

Be Not Dismayed, God Will Take Care of You By Catherine Galasso-Vigorito

In 1929, the economic downturn of The Great Depression caused a major financial disaster for businessman, James Cash Penney. Through his bad investments in real-estate and banking, the strain of the financial collapse took its toll on the 56-year-old entrepreneur’s health. Weakened in mind, body and spirit, Penney was filled with despair and was soon hospitalized. It seemed as though his plans, his dreams and his life were finished. And, no doubt, Penney could have thought, “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to overcome this challenge. Maybe I won’t recover. There are too many obstacles in the way,” and… “It might be too late for me now.” Have you ever had those kinds of thoughts? Are you tired and weary, possibly passing through a difficulty or a disappointment of your own? Or else, you might have struggled in an area for so long that now you’ve convinced yourself that it’s never going to change. Beset

36 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

by obstacles, weighed down with frustrations and anxiety, victory may seem im-possible. But Penney also had great faith in an all-powerful, allloving God who he knew was with him and who “keeps His covenant of love with those who love Him and obey his commands” (Nehemiah 1:5). So one day, while Penney was being treated in the hospital, he heard some music coming from the hospital’s small chapel. The encouraging words of the melody caught his attention: “Be not dismayed, what-e’er betide. God will take care of you . . . All you may need He will provide, Nothing you ask will be denied, No matter what may be the test, Lean, weary one, upon His breast, God will take care of you…”


Inspiration Hearing these words was a turning point in Penney’s life. He felt the hope of God. And almost instantaneously, the businessman was lifted from hopelessness to hopefulness: from inner turmoil to quiet trust. Thereafter, Penney decided to start over. His health improved, and he went back to work. And before long, he was able to regain control of his empire, and the J.C. Penney’s chain of department stores became one of the most successful retail establishments in America. Moreover, Penney gave millions to charities around the globe.

 Or, you could be dwelling on unfair situations of the

God had a new start for J.C. Penney and likewise, He has another dream and more victories to come for you. Therefore, you must not lose hope. You may be facing some large challenges, but don’t give up on yourself, your life, or your dreams for the future. Remember, just because circumstances didn’t work out yesterday, that doesn’t mean that they won’t successfully turn around tomorrow. So pray and release the heaviness of any stresses and worries to God. Say, “I give it all to you.” And just as the prophet Elijah hid in the wilderness, and God provided his needs by ordering the ravens to bring him food, rest assured, God loves and will care for you, too.

As parents prepare for their beloved child’s future; God is preparing the path to victory for you. For in God’s time, in His way, He will make your dark nights bright and turn past adversities into future opportunities.

 Maybe it seems as though the odds are against you. But do your part, and plan and prepare by faith. You’re on the verge of receiving a tremendous breakthrough. Keep moving forward. In the coming weeks, God is going to do something extraordinary on your behalf. “… I will make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:19)

past. Let go of the scars of yesterday and be on the lookout for the great things that lie ahead. You are strong and competent and God is on your side, so you cannot be defeated. Close your eyes and imagine that God’s arms are around your shoulders, patiently leading and guiding, taking you onto new and better circumstances. For, “A righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.” (Psalm 34:19)

There was once a tiny bird that was nestled quietly in the crevice of a large rock on the seashore. Then, a storm came. And, along with the heavy rains, there were 80-mile-perhour winds, as the ocean’s waves were crashing mightily against the rock. Yet, in the rock’s crevice, the tiny bird sat in peace. He did not worry. He wasn’t nervous or intimidated. And with his little head tucked beneath his wing, the bird was oblivious to all the chaos happening around him. So, “Cast all your cares upon Him…” (1 Peter 5:7) Be at peace. There are new and wonderful things in store for your future. 

 At times, you may think that you don’t have the connections or come from the right background to succeed. However, continue to do what is right, and God will supply the resources, the people and whatever else that may be needed to help you. Soon, you will see His hand of favor in your life. So, “In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success...” (Proverbs 3:6)

 Perhaps, you’re im-mersed in a situation and can make no headway. Well, just because there have been some roadblocks, God is not saying, ‘no.’ Pursue your goals again. Suddenly, that stumbling block will turn into a stepping stone that leads you to blessings that exceed your expectations. “The Lord is able to give you much more than this…” (2 Chronicles 25:9)

The Open Window, 8 Weeks to Creating an Extraordinary Life available at: http://amzn.com/1596528966 The teacher’s guide can be downloaded here for an 8-week group study: : http://www.turnerpublishing.com/theopenwindow.pdf January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 37


Carole M. Amber

Turning Sorrow Into Peace, Love and Inspiration


Inspiration

Devastation, sorrow, anger, uncertainty…there are never enough words to describe the loss of a young child, your first born. Can you imagine bringing a gorgeous, healthy baby into the world and then having the breath knocked out of you when you learn that your first born child has a rare disease and has a few months left to live? The answer is, you can’t. No one can ever imagine such an experience, but that is exactly what Carole and Troy had to endure. Suddenly their lives had been broken into a million pieces. They were first-time parents beaming with joy and pride as they returned home from the hospital with their son TJ. As any parent would, they began planning their lives with their brand new addition to the family. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, their joy and happiness turned into sorrow and heartbreak when they discovered that their child had a rare disease called Leigh Syndrome, a neurometabolic condition that causes energy to not transfer properly throughout the body. They began the process of obtaining multiple tests to determine how to best proceed. “We also got a second opinion and within 20 minutes of getting that second opinion, we learned more than we had

within the four months of testing at other places, and I believe it was because we went to a specialist who was very familiar with the condition,” Carole says. He looked at us and said, “Your baby probably will not see his second birthday.” We knew something was wrong and it was progressing, but to what extent, we had no clue. “Was he going to be blind or in a wheelchair, or will he live to 14 or even 40? We had no idea of the severity of the condition before speaking with the specialist. We learned within that two-week period that we had to make decisions about end of life. I felt like a Mack truck hit me, and my husband and I were in a whirlwind,” Carole said. In life we experience all types of heartache, devastation and pain, some more challenging than others, but we have the ability to turn those challenges into triumphs. We have the power to turn those devastating life experiences into opportunities, knowledge, and positive experiences for others. Knowing that their son TJ, wouldn’t live past his second birthday brought Carole and Troy closer together as they planned to say goodbye to their only child.

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 39


Inspiration From this experience, they have turned their sorrows into peace and love for their family and inspiration for others. Carole is sharing her message about her experience and helping thousands of parents and kids cope with similar mitochondrial diseases through her book, The Gift of the Lady Bug. Monica: Talk a little about your experiences with your son, some of the things you have accomplished through the children’s book “The Gift of the Lady Bug,” and what you’re doing to serve others in his memory. Carole: It started with our little boy TJ Troy. He was born on January 28, 2008. To our knowledge, a perfectly healthy boy was sent home from the hospital. We were enjoying our first baby. When he was about four months old, I began reading about what to expect during your child’s first year and I learned that a child at that age should have a little more head control. I spoke with my pediatrician and he informed me that my child’s lack of control could be the result of a number of things, including cerebral palsy and problems with basic motor development. The next morning, the pediatrician called me and told me that TJ may be having seizures. He said, “You need to rush him to the ER.” There were tests after tests and a lot of hospital visits for about six months. Because of the tests, we know in the end he had a syndrome call Leigh Syndrome. Leigh Syndrome is a neurometabolic condition where energy is not transferred properly within the body. It’s really severe and life expectancy is one to two years. It is very rare – one in 70,000 has the condition and there is no cure. We also got a second opinion at the Cleveland Clinic and within 20 minutes of getting that second opinion, we learned more than we had within four months of testing at other places. I believe it was because we went to a specialist who was very familiar with the condition. He looked at us and said, “Your baby probably will not see his second birthday.” We knew something was wrong and it was progressing, but to what extent, we had no clue. Was he going to be blind or in a wheelchair, or would he live to 14 or even 40? We had no idea of the severity of the condition before speaking with the specialist.

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We learned that within that two-week period we had to make end-of-life decisions. I felt like a Mack truck hit me and my husband and we were in a whirlwind. My parents and my husband’s parents came to the hospital, and we were all standing in a circle around TJ, not thinking anything would really happen during this first meeting. As we were driving home, I prayed that TJ would not suffer and at that moment I had a vision. I was really outside of myself, not knowing how I was going to survive this ordeal. It was like all of us were in an inner circle in the office, and I saw big, strong horses sobbing and crying because they had just learned that TJ was going to live a short life. In my vision TJ is actually a ladybug and the ladybug comforts the horses. This appeared to me out of nowhere and this dialogue appeared in my head between the horses and the ladybug as we were driving home. That gave me so much peace and that story came to life in my family’s life. TJ became our ladybug and we became the horses. The story made TJ’s eyes, behavior and mannerisms come to life, and it allowed us to cherish him, be present in the moment and accept him exactly as he was. Monica: In the midst of this experience, what was the glue that kept you and your husband together? How did you get through such devastating circumstances? Carole: I think the glue that kept us together was compassion and love for each other and TJ. Also, I think we really wanted to honor TJ and his memory. In that, we wanted to continue to live and continue to find happiness in our lives. It took a really long time but we committed to that early on. The way my husband handled the situation helped me love him more. Monica: Do you think you will decide to have another child? Carole: Well, that’s to be decided. It is a genetic condition, although we had no knowledge of anything in our family. Tests showed that it is genetic, meaning there’s 25 percent likelihood that we would have a child with Leigh Syndrome again. With no cure and life expectancy of only one to two years, we are not willing to take that risk unless more scientific information becomes available. Monica: You wrote the book, The Gift of the Lady Bug prior to your son’s passing, and you had the opportunity to read it to him several times. Who would you say the book is for?


Inspiration Carole: I feel it came to me as a divine inspiration and I was the vehicle. I think it was mainly for me and Troy and my family, because it helped reframe our entire circumstance and it gave us a way to not feel sorry for ourselves. After publishing the book about three years after TJ passed away, I learned that it has been helping a lot of kids. The kids say that it gives them permission to be sick, or to be different, or have special needs. It gives them permission to be exactly who they are, which is going to be different from everybody else in the world. Kids say they love the book because it represents exactly who they are. Monica: It sounds as if the book helps them to build confidence in themselves. Carole: Yes. Absolutely. To cherish your differences and celebrate them rather than trying to conform. Monica: You have chosen to share a portion of the proceeds from book sales with those who are less fortunate and have made donations to the United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation. Would you briefly talk about what the disease is and how it affects people? Carole: This foundation is one of the largest international foundations. It is headquartered in Philadelphia and is kind of an umbrella organization for all rare diseases. The organization focuses on all mitochondrial conditions. Research has shown that mitochondrial problems can be associated with other diseases, including Parkinson’s disease and possibly some forms of cancer. The organization is a huge umbrella for all mitochondrial conditions and they help with treatment and research, as well as quality of life for kids and families. Monica: Were you an entrepreneur prior to TJ being diagnosed, or did this circumstance inspire your entrepreneurial spirit? Carole: I’ve always been an entrepreneur. I had a business in Chicago called the Fun Young Foodie Club. I was always a food fanatic, and I am a food writer and editor as well. I had the business for three years. We traveled around and did gourmet dining experiences all around Chicago, from Vietnamese cuisine to oyster tastings, tequila, et cetera. We met with private chefs and learned about food.

I also gained marketing and sales experience early on. I worked for Nike right out of college. I was a gymnast in college, so I had that athletic background. I loved food, so it’s been some form of business all along the way. Certainly entrepreneurship has been the main thing that I’ve loved from the beginning. Monica: During the timeframe when you were dealing with TJ, how did that impact your life as an entrepreneur, or even working for someone else? Carole: At the time, my husband and I went home to Ohio to work in my father’s real estate business. Everything happened so quickly and we realized that we really were not going to have much time left with TJ. So my husband and I worked out our lives so that we could just stay home with him for many of the months that he lived. Monica: I realized that it is a tough decision that has to be made. Carole: Right, and in a way I feel we were very fortunate to have had that opportunity. In looking back, I’m so glad that we had that time with him. Over the span of my life I’ll have plenty of time to work, but I’ll never get those days with TJ back. January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 41


Inspiration Monica: What message can you share with other parents who may be experiencing something similar?

the chefs. It’s exciting to see where they eat and what they cook at home, as well as their favorite kitchen tools.

Carole: I think the thing the book gave me the most was the ability to put myself aside, and just soak him all in, memorize every feature of his face and tell him everything I wanted to tell him.

We also did a series of webisodes. About a year after TJ passed, my husband and I asked ourselves, “What would we do if there was anything in the world that we wanted to do?”

One thing I was really proud of was that my husband and I treated TJ just like a normal human being and we spoke to him like he was an adult. We would tell him everything that we were deciding for him. He wasn’t talking at this point but we would tell him, “TJ we’re having this procedure today; this is why we think it’s for your best interest.” The communication with TJ was really great because it allowed us to be present with him and to put all of my “stuff” on the shelf while I was with him. We put his quality of life first.

My husband had a career change from commercial real estate into photography, and I decided I wanted to be involved in food again so we started a blog called ChopSizzlePop.

Monica: Your life has taken a different turn since then because you’ve had the opportunity to write a book, and you and your husband have a food blog. How did you develop an interest in food? Carole: I’ve actually loved food my entire life. From the time that I was 8 years old and my parents told me I could do anything I wanted for my birthday, I wanted to go to the most exciting restaurants. The love of food has existed most of my life. I received an MBA overseas -- it was an international MBA and I specialized in Entrepreneurship. I loved creating something from nothing or creating something from scratch. And since I had such a love of food, I decided that I would focus on that. 2008 is when I started my food business in Chicago -food, websites, and events. And then we decided that we should go home and try the real estate because I really admired my dad and I liked his quality of life. But in the end, I realized that I love food and entrepreneurship the most, so I went back to that and it’s been that way ever since. I decided to become a food writer and now I’m also a food editor. Monica: What is the content of your food blog? Carole: We interview chefs to find out their favorite places to eat. We get chefs’ recommendations. We have a few podcasts but they’re mostly written interviews of favorite ethnic and sushi spots, and pizza places from all 42 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

We went to Italy and we exchanged our time for work on an organic farm. It’s called Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF) and we worked for 10 weeks harvesting olives, making cheese and working a gourmet bread and breakfast (B&B) so that we would have some awesome content and video content for our blog. It was great and we were trying to claim our lives again. We were putting a stake in the ground and deciding that we were going to do something that we loved and were happy about in the face of this great loss that we experienced. Monica: Would you say that even though you experienced this loss, it was an inspiration for you to move forward with new ideas? Carole: Absolutely. “Death makes you brave.” That is very true. Fear goes away. We thought, “What can we do? What is there left to be afraid of?” It was the impetus for us redefining our lives. We made career changes, we traveled to Italy for almost three months and we dove into those things to try to make our dreams a reality. It was all inspired by TJ. Monica: What would you say is your true perspective on life today and the principles you live by based on everything that has happened over the past few years? Carole: I would say go for your dreams. The thing I come back to for every decision in my life is does it make me feel alive? That’s how I live. I make decisions based on what makes me feel the most alive. Live loudly as far as loving, making your dreams come true and doing exciting things. Monica: How well is the Gift of the Lady Bug doing in terms of changing the lives of other kids and families?


Inspiration Carole: I think it has done extraordinarily well. For example, there was a woman who heard me speak during a radio interview. She read the book and loved it so much that for her little girl Elizabeth’s 3rd birthday, she bought 40 books to give to all of her friends who were mothers, some of whom have children with Pyruvate Dehydrogenase Deficiency (PDH).

My last word is, “The best we can all do is love ourselves as we are. Love leads to peace and peace to joy.” 

That’s just one example, but the book has brought such peace and joy into so many lives. Our goal is to reach a million people with this book with the message of peace and hope. Monica: I think your book can help bring families together. Carole: Yes. Absolutely. I’ve heard that it’s great for siblings. A lot of moms have told me that it’s great because they really don’t understand why their sibling is different. It helps them learn to love them exactly as they are. Monica: You only had a short time to spend with your son TJ before his passing, so what would you say that you and your husband treasured most about the time you had with him? Carole: Everything. But I would say most was his ability to love life enormously and his wise ways. He just had this manner about him that everything was okay and he was at peace. The peace, love, and joy he emoted were just unworldly. Monica: You have turned your pain into something extremely positive and you are using the experience to help other parents and young children cope, grow, and improve their lives.

Gift of the LadyBug By Carole M. Amber Available at Amazon: www.amzn.to/1fW3pbk

Carole: Thank you so much. What I’ve learned is that acceptance will set you free. If you can accept your life, all of it, there is so much peace in that. Monica: A key point is also learning to share your life experiences with others so that they will know they are not alone, and they may be given hope, comfort and inspiration to move forward. What is your last word? Carole: Before my last word I’d like to say that for any information, photos of TJ and any behind-the-scenes things, people can visit our website at www.giftoftheladybug.org. January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 43


Inspiration Becoming Vision-Focused for the Year Ahead

By Cedric Dukes

Here we are again with a New Year. With that, new resolutions are made. Coming in a new year eliminates the old mindset, attitudes and bad experiences from the previous year. The New Year brings new experiences and opportunities. Reflect back to your resolutions in 2012, how did you do? Did you accomplish any of them? If not, what could you have done differently? With those answers it’s time to set the stage for this year. Let me ask one question, “Where are you headed in 2014?” I want to challenge you this year not to live by resolutions but to live by a vision. Resolutions are short term but a vision lasts for life. You are on earth for more than a mere resolution. The vision is your DNA makeup of characteristics, value and purpose. It is more than just losing weight or making more money. It is your assignment that God has given you. It’s a ministry. Don’t get stuck on the word, “ministry”. I know it’s usually reserved for someone with religious duties but your time on earth is a ministry to God and people. In 1 Peter 4:10 -11 it says that each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve (minister) others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. Serving, helping, aiding, teaching, and assisting are all examples of ministry. Different professions provide ministry every day. Teachers provide ministry by educating. Lawyers provide ministry by assisting those who are in legal need. Engineers provide ministry by creating, designing and manufacturing ideas and concepts for people that will enhance their quality of life. The medical profession provide ministry to those who need assistance in their health. Elected officials provide services and programs to meet the basic needs of our communities. Ministry is more than a religious duty; it is a life of serving. The vision assists with the common good of mankind. It encompasses your values, skills, and talents to further someone else or to meet a pressing need. Mother Teresa 44 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

served humanity with her skills and talents whom nobody cared about. Former President Jimmy Carter used his prestige and honor to serve with Habitat for Humanity and underprivileged in third world countries. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke of the injustices of racial tensions but did it in a spirit of love for all to accept. Their vision met a pressing need for society. Our vision will give us direction and guidance that we need. The vision may not change a life of a nation but will change the life of others around you. The vision will help resolve our internal issues. When we execute the vision in some form, a change will come over our lives. Changes in our personal life is only resolved when we help others. Don’t get me wrong, resolutions are fine but when it’s completed - it’s done; but when a vision is completed, it lasts forever. The vision will take time because of its complexity and timing but God implores us to wait on it (Habakkuk 2:2-4). I am reminded of the vision that God gave the shepherds, men and women of faith in Luke 2 for the birth of Jesus. They were given the vision from God; they waited, prayed, and even travelled for years just to see the vision. 2013 will become a great year when we understand and walk in the vision that God has given us. Be a blessing this year. Questions to ask yourself... Do I have a vision for my life? Does my vision impact me and/or does it impact future generations to come? What skills and talents complement my vision? What ministry can I give to others? Where am I headed for 2014? Make it a great day. 


The Lighter Side


Lighter Side

Ban the Bully By Dorothy Rosby

When I woke up Monday morning the first thing I said to myself was, “What did you do all weekend? You didn’t finish the laundry. I know that!” Not, “Have a wonderful day!” Not, “Do great things. You know you can!” Nope. It was, “You didn’t finish the laundry.” That’s only slightly better than the first thing I told myself when I woke up today: “You need to whiten your teeth.” No wonder I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. There’s another women inside of me, and she’s mean--at least to me. And not just in the morning. When I’m dressed up for an evening out, she says, “Nice dress, but you’re starting to look a little matronly in it” When I look around my living room, she says, “Some housekeeper you are! This looks like a frat house without the beer cans.” When my son does something wonderful, she says, “He’s a great kid.” When he does something wrong, she says “You’re a bad mother.” If I talked to other people the way she talks to me, I’d have no friends and no job, and my family would have moved out long ago. But how do you stand up to a bully when the bully is you? I sought advice from that font of all wisdom, Google, and I discovered there are more than 52,700,000 results for negative self-talk on the internet. I didn’t read them all. In fact, I only read the first few, because as my inner bully pointed out, I have the attention span of a gnat. Still, it was comforting. If there 52,700,000 results for negative self-talk on the internet, I must not be the only one doing it. According to a Psychology Today blog, there are a few basic varieties. There’s the self-talk we barely notice because it’s such a habit. (“I’m stupid.” “I’m 46 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

fat.”) If you don’t think those are harmful, try them out on a friend and see how they go over. There’s the self-limiting variety. Statements like “I’m not creative” or “I’m no good at math” create a selffulfilling prophecy because, once we say them, we immediately assume defeat and stop trying. That’s why, when my son asks for help with his math homework, I NEVER say “I’m no good at math.” I say, “Go ask your father.” There’s the kind of self-talk where we jump to conclusions, assume the worse, and take our interpretations of a situation as fact. “When I walked in, everyone stopped talking. They must have been talking about me.” You’re right! We were. I’m JOKING! If your self-talk involves a lot of, “I shoulds” or “I shouldn’ts,” you might be channeling other people; your parents, a friend, Dr. Phil. While they may have your best interests at heart, you’re letting them run your life and you should stop that right now! Resolve to change your negative self-talk to positive from now on! Instead of “I’m a lousy cook,” say, “I prefer to eat out!” Instead of, “I hate my muffin top,” say, “I love muffins.” Instead of “I’m a terrible housekeeper,” say, “My house is cleaner than Dorothy Rosby’s.” Make it a habit of saying your new positive statements repeatedly and with enthusiasm, just not around me. You’ll feel better about yourself, plus someone might bring you muffins. 


Profile Resources Part One Lorraine Holmes Milton—Pg. 4, A Woman with an Extraordinary Vision for Change http://www.thienna.com/ Matthew Martino—Pg. 18, Founder of Let’s Fly Academy Inspires Others to Soar www.letsflyacadey.com

Photo Credits Lorraine Holmes Milton Cover Photo by Geoffrey N. Nesossi 131 Brooks Street, Suite 100,Sugar Land, TX 77478 Phone: 281-242-6601—Fax: 281-242-3146 www.nesossistudios.com

Part Two Carole M. Amber—Pg. 38, Turning Sorrow into Peace, Love and Inspiration www.giftoftheladybug.org

Additional Credits Graphics and Cover Designs: Jeff Hayes, www.plasmafiregraphics.com

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 47


Writers and Contributors

William R. Patterson

Annemarie Cross

Ranked as the #1 Business Motivational Speaker by Ranking.com, William R. Patterson is a three-time award-winning lecturer and international bestselling author who uses his trademark approach, THE BARON SOLUTION™, to coach, train, and motivate business leaders, sales professionals, entrepreneurs, and investors. His breakthrough book, The Baron Son, has been translated around the world and featured in the Forbes Book Club and Black Enterprise. William is an internationally recognized wealth and business coach who has been a featured guest on over 500 television and radio programs. William’s website, BaronSeries.com, is winner of four 2009 Web Awards including: Best Speaker; Best Male Author; Best Business Advice Site; and Best WealthBuilding Site. For more information, visit http://www.baronseries.com

Annemarie Cross is a Career Management & Personal Branding Strategist, Speaker, Consultant, Radio Broadcaster, and Author of ‘10 Key Steps to Ace that Interview!’ She is also the founder/ principal of Advanced Employment Concepts – Career Management and Corporate Career Development Specialists offering powerful programs for people striving for career success and fulfillment, as well as savvy companies committed to building and retaining their most important asset – their staff.

Catherine Galasso-Vigorito

James Adonis

Catherine Galasso-Vigorito’s nationally syndicated weekly column, “A New You,” has endeared her to readers worldwide for over 15 years.

James Adonis is a people-management thinker and the author of three books including his latest, ‘Corporate Punishment: Smashing the Management Clichés for Leaders in a New World’. Thought-provoking and entertaining, James’s keynote presentations and workshops show companies how to solve staff turnover, engage all generations, and win the war for talent. He has presented to audiences across Australia, Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, with an impressive list of clients including McDonald’s, American Express, CocaCola, Qantas, and Gucci. www.jamesadonis.com.

Known for her ability to uplift and encourage, Catherine has become America’s most beloved inspirational voice. Catherine is the founder and CEO of her own company, A New You Worldwide, developing and designing inspirational products. Her mission is to instill hope in the hearts of people everywhere, inspiring them to live a better life. She makes her home on the East Coast with her husband and three daughters. Visit her website at www.anewyouworldwide.com Searching for inspirational gifts - visit http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/app.nav/ params.class.K990/walk.yah.0101-K990.

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Widely considered a personal change agent and success catalyst, Annemarie has distinguished herself as being people-focused, caring, inspirational and life-changing in her approach. Annemarie can be contacted at www.a-e-c.com.au email: info@a-e-c.com.au.


Writers and Contributors

Rosalind Sedacca

Margaret Paul

Recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, Rosalind Sedacca is a Certified Corporate Trainer and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents facing, moving through or transitioning beyond divorce. She is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! which offers a unique approach to breaking divorce news to your children based on her own personal experience. She is also the 2008 National First Place Winner of the Victorious Woman Award.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a noted public speaker, bestselling author, workshop leader, relationship expert, and Inner Bonding® facilitator. She has counseled individuals and couples, and led groups, classes, and workshops since 1968. She is the author and co-author of eight books, including the internationally bestselling Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?, Healing Your Aloneness, Inner Bonding, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?

As a Certified Corporate Trainer and Business Communication Strategist she provides consulting, speaking, training and Executive Coaching services to organizations nation-wide on marketing, public relations and business communication issues. She specializes in gender-related dynamics, marketing to women and employeemanagement collaboration in the workplace. To learn more about her book, free ezine, programs and other valuable resources on creating a positive ChildCentered Divorce, visit www.childcentereddivorce.com and www.howdoitellthekids.com. For more information about her customized programs, audio and videotapes, and other services, contact Rosalind at 561-742-3537 or Talk2Roz@bellsouth.net.

Dawn Abraham

She is the co-creator, along with Dr. Erika Chopich, of the Inner Bonding® healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah, and of the unique and popular website www.innerbonding.com. Their transformational selfhealing/conflict resolution software program, SelfQuest®, at www.selfquest.com, is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to the general public.

Sue Urda Sue Urda is an Author, Speaker, Inspirer and Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women’s Network, She was named twice on Inc. Magazines list of the 500 FastestGrowing Private Companies. Sue’s vision is to contribute to a global consciousness of women helping women succeed in business and in life and to open them to truth of who they are. www.sueurda.com.

Dawn Abraham is a Certified Life/Business Coach, and is an “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.com. She also partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to help them create balanced lives while earning more money. Law of Attraction, Self Esteem, Abundance, Meditation, Motivation, Reiki, Private & Group Coaching, Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered. http://www.qualified-lifecoach.com January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 49


Writers and Contributors

Sharon Dahlonega Raiford Bush

Shelley Riutta

Sharon Dahlonega Raiford Bush is CEO of News Archives International. This multiaward-winning journalist writes and publishes news articles about productive individuals committed to making positive changes in their lives and in the world around them. She also writes and directs live performances for young, exceptional artists throughout the Los Angeles region. Sharon shares her life with her husband, veteran actor Grand L. Bush.

Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC is a Holistic Psychotherapist and Inner Bonding Facilitator in private practice specializing in Transformational individual counseling, presentations, groups and Workshops. To get her free workbook “What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Purpose and Passion in Your Life” or for information about the free teleclasses she does every month visit her web-site www.RadiantLifeCounseling.com or call her at 877-346-1167.

To learn more about Sharon, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Sharon_Dahlonega_Raiford_Bush and http://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonraifordbush. She can be contacted at https://www.facebook.com/TVwxGirl.

Dawn McCoy Dawn McCoy is author of “Leadership Building Blocks: An Insider’s Guide to Success” http://flourishleadership.com/store/ index.html She is also is president and CEO of Flourish Leadership, LLC which provides coaching executives, public servants, and youth leaders. For author and speaker details, visit http:// www.flourishleadership.com.

Jack Canfield Jack is the founder and former CEO of Chicken Soup for the Soul® Enterprises, a billion dollar empire that encompasses licensing, merchandising and publishing activities around the globe. He is the Founder and Chairman of The Canfield Training Group which trains entrepreneurs, educators, corporate leaders and motivated individuals how to accelerate the achievement of their personal and professional goals. Jack is also the founder of The Foundation for Self-Esteem which provides self-esteem resources and trainings to social workers, welfare recipients and human resource professionals. http://www.jackcanfield.com/ 50 | Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2014

Inez Bracy Inez Bracy is the host of her own radio talk show; Living Smart and Well and is a columnist for Senior Stuff a local ezine, the Orlando Examiner, a former columnist for the Island Voice magazine and the author of Rejuvenate Your Life in 21 Days. Bracy’s radio show, Living Smart and Well shares tips on creating your best life and is heard globally on www.livingsmartandwell.com. Bracy is an author, a masterful coach, powerful trainer, and a dynamic speaker. With more than 20 years of experience working for educational institutions and non-profits, Bracy uses her knowledge to help people create extraordinary lives. http://overfiftyfineandfancy.com

Keasha Lee Keasha Lee is President of Striking Statements, LLC a company that provides public relations and social media strategy for small to mid sized businesses. www.strikingstatements.com


Writers and Contributors

Dorothy Rosby

Eileen Lichtenstein

Dorothy Rosby is an entertaining speaker and syndicated humor columnist whose work appears regularly in 30-plus newspapers in eleven Western and Midwestern states. She is also Community Relations Director for an organization which supports people with disabilities. She lives in Rapid City, South Dakota with her husband, son, mother, and hamster. Contact her at drosby@rushmore.com or see her website at www.dorothyrosby.com.

Eileen Lichtenstein, MS Ed, CEO of Balance & Power, Inc. is a certified Anger Management Specialist, Career and Mid-Life Coach, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique ) Practitioner and a former Biofeedback Therapist and faculty at Hofstra University. “SOAR! with Resilience™: The Interactive Book for Overcoming Obstacles & Achieving Success” is the core material for many of her trainings and a motivational read for anyone struggling to take their personal or professional life to a higher level of success and satisfaction. www.balanceandpower.com

Angie Brennan

Cedric Dukes

Angie Brennan is a humor writer and illustrator from Maryland. Visit her website at www.angiebrennan.com for cartoons, spoof advice, and more.

Cedric Dukes is an international author, speaker and leader on finances and self & career development. He is the author of two books, The Power of Time – Living a Life of No Regrets and Hostile Takeover – Manifesting God’s Plan and Purpose for Your Finances. Cedric’s books can be found at www.CedricDukes.com, www.amazon.com, and most major bookstores. His career includes management positions in engineering and purchasing. He has been a keynote speaker for churches, financial literacy classes, and credit counseling clubs as well as book clubs, seminars and conferences and has written columns for several national and regional publications.

Greg Williams Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator, is an internationally sought after speaker/trainer. He provides negotiation expertise to corporate and individual clients that seek to maximize their negotiation efforts, at the negotiation table. You can sign up for Greg’s free negotiation tips at www.TheMasterNegotiator.com – You can also view his Negotiation Tip videos at http:// www.youtube.com/user/ TheMasterNegotiator - Greg’s motto is, “Remember, you’re always negotiating”.

January-February 2014 | Exceptional People Magazine | 51


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Exceptionalpeoplemagazinejanuaryfebruary2014issue  

The leading personal development and self improvement magazine providing inspiration, personal power, influence and wealth building strategi...

Exceptionalpeoplemagazinejanuaryfebruary2014issue  

The leading personal development and self improvement magazine providing inspiration, personal power, influence and wealth building strategi...