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The recipes that have been lost over the years with the cook club

Issue 1 April 2011


Interview With the outragous misfits

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Gary Grimshaw was very happy with his new home in Cyprus. Most weekday evenings he would sit on his patio and watch beautiful sunsets across No Man’s Land. Not until the sun was well and truly over the yardarm, would he permit himself to open a bottle of his favourite Cypriot wine. He sipped slowly from a goblet watching the lights of Salamis and Bogaz twinkling across the Bay of Famagusta. His dog, Constantinos the Great Dane snored peacefully at his feet. From time to time Gary indulged in a little stargazing, seeking inspiration for his latest story for the Larnaca Writers’ Group. One evening a very bright light appeared on the horizon. Gary was used to seeing the lights of aircraft approaching Ercan Airport, but this was different. The light was white and incredibly bright, like burning phosphorous. After a short while more lights appeared in the West and North. From Dherynia, across Varosha and all the way up the Panhandle, the sky was full of them. It was then he heard the Voices for the first time. “Go to sleep now, everything will be alright... go to sleep.” they whispered He awoke with a start from a deep sleep. It was five o’clock. Something was not quite right. The sun was streaming in the back bedroom window. Gary realised it was five o’clock in the afternoon, he had slept all day and all night. After a quick coffee, he took the dog for a walk around the melon fields. Later while he was shaving, he noticed angry red marks on either side of his temple. “Blooming bugs” thought Gary, “I must get that fly screen fitted on the bedroom window.” Half an hour later he was walking along the deserted Kennedy Avenue at Kapparis heading for the Karas Family Tavern. When he got to the bar it was empty This was unusual for this time of day. He then remembered some talk about getting a coach up to go to the races at Nicosia. That must be it. They would be back soon no doubt. Gary knocked on the bar top and called out, but nobody came. As he was a well known regular there, he decided to help himself to a bottle of wine from the cool cabinet. He placed a twenty euro note beside the cash register. After grabbing a glass, Gary opened the bottle and poured himself a drink. Picking up a beer stained copy of yesterday’s Cyprus Mail from the counter, Gary began to read. In the stop press there was a

“Has he escaped from the ‘Big House’ in Nicosia or something?”

few lines about strange lights in the sky above Western Europe. In spite of this he remembered nothing of the last evening’s events. After a while a man appeared and sat on a barstool beside Gary. “Sorry mate, there is no one here yet. I think they have all gone on an outing They won’t be long now I’m sure. Would you like a glass of my wine while you are waiting?” He took down another glass, filled it, and handed it to the stranger who said nothing. Suddenly he picked up the glass, sniffed the contents, and put it down on the bar without drinking any. “Sorry….you must be a beer man then. Would you like me to open a bottle of Keo for you?” The man remained silent. After several failed attempts to strike up a conversation, Gary returned to his newspaper He could discreetly glimpse the stranger from time to time by his refection in the mirror behind the bar. He was adorned in a tight fitting jump suit that appeared to change colour as the light reflected on it. Two tone yes...but this was ridiculous! His ears, nose and jaw all appeared to be a little ‘pointy.’ Gary noted the man’s forefingers were strangely longer than his middle fingers. Had he escaped from an Institution , or was this a promotion for a new beer or something? Gary felt a little uneasy as he noticed Mr. Pointy was sucking on his left forefinger rather noisily. Quicker than you can say Mr. Spock; the said long and moistened digit was deftly placed in Gary’s left ear! “Oi…what’s your game?” shouted Gary jumping from the barstool and raising his fists. Pointy spoke at last, in a peculiar kind of echoing monotone without any visible lip movement. “So sorry. No need for violence. Please forgive me. I only arrived last night and am not yet familiar with all your customs and protocols yet.” he droned, picking up the wine and sniffing at it once more.

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“I don’t care where you come from mate, world. Has he escaped from the ‘Big House’ in Nicobut if you come in to a bar like this and do stuff like sia or something?” that…well you are going to get filled in.” threatened The older of the two Cypriot paramedics put his arm Gary. around Gary. “Where do you come from then…the Amazon Rain “Mr. Gary we would like you to come along Forest or something?” said Gary sarcastically. with us please.” “ I come from the binary planets of Yin and At first the penny did not drop…..then it did with a Yang, a million light years away in the Orphanedes resounding thud!. Galaxy. Last night we invaded your world and we “No, no...not me you fools - its him, him will be running things from now on. Let me assure there….the Pointy Alien! Can’t you both see him ? you, you have nothing to fear from us; as long as Look he’s changing colour again.” your leaders do what we tell them. It will be, as you “There is no one there Mr. Gary, look you can earthlings might say, a besee that. Please don’t worry nign dictatorship. You will now, everything is going hardly notice we are here.” to be ok…no problem, no “No, no...not me you fools Gary’s jaw dropped open problem at all” - its him, him there….the when The Aliens’ eyes Gary was about to leg it , Pointy Alien! Can’t you both turned lilac and his suit when the hypodermic neesee him ? Look he’s changing dle entered his flesh. He changed colour for the umpteenth time. very quickly became totally colour again.” “In time you will compliant as the medics learn more of our civilizastrapped him down on a tions. Of their beauty, grace stretcher. He noticed how and love. Where there is no pain, no want...only they both had a red mark either side of their temfulfillment for every individual. Unlimited travel and ples. creativity opportunities beyond your imagination. “Did they not have bedroom fly screens as Sorry I cannot explain to you our quest on Earth, well?” he mused your beastly intelligence would be inadequate to As the ambulance drove on through the comprehend our plans.” night, the voices returned once more. “O well never mind…do have beautiful “Go to sleep now, everything will be alright… women up there?” asked Gary, feeling a bit stupid go to sleep.” after he had said it. “We have no women in our worlds” “But what about sex and all that?” “What is sex?” “It is something men and women do to pleasurably express our love and attraction for one another, and also for the procreation of our species.” “Ah procreation…yes, I see what you mean.” “So how do you reproduce on the planets Yin and Yang,” challenged Gary, Pointyman sucked hard on his forefinger and thrust it once more in the direction of Gary’s ear. “Ahhhhh…get off you maniac! I’m outa here right now!” Gary looked at the clock, and was alarmed to realise he could already be two hours pregnant with Pointyman’s baby...or would it be the other way round? Suddenly flashing and twirling lights appeared outside. Was it a UFO come for the stranger…or maybe come for himself? As he left the Taverna he was pleased to see it was the lights of an ambulance, even though it was from a private clinic he had never heard of. Two men in white coats got out. “I’m soooo glad you are here,” exclaimed Gary “Have you come to pick him up? He’s as mad as a hatter. Says he is an alien come to take over the © Clive Gardner Larnaca Writers 2010

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The Cook Club The Queen Mothers Favourite Recipe Ingredients: 8oz of chopped dates One tablespoon of Bicarbonate of soda 8oz sugar 3oz butter 1 egg 1 tablespoon of baking powder Half tablespoon of salt 2oz chopped walnuts 10oz self raising flour 5 tablespoons of brown sugar 2 tablespoons butter 2 tablespoons of cream

Preparations: Pour one breakfast cup of boiling water over 8oz of chopped dates and one teaspoon bicarbonate of soda. Let this stand while the following are mixed together; 8oz sugar 3oz butter 1 egg 1 tablespoon baking powder, half tablespoon of salt, 2oz chopped walnuts, 10oz self raising flour, mix all together and bake in a 7� square tin for 45 minutes in a moderate oven 350-375 deg or gas mark 4-5. The icing mix; 5 tablespoons of soft brown sugar 2 tablespoons of butter 2 tablespoons of cream boil for 3 minutes beat

until mixture starts to fudge then pour over the cake and decorate with nuts and dates.

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Interview With

Clint Eastwood

On the eve of his 80th birthday and the Even today, Eastwood is one of the most fell out,’ he grimaces. 'I was a mile up release of his film Invictus, Clint Eastprolific directors of his generation, makholding on for dear life.’ After wedging wood talks about politics, monogamy ing no fewer than 14 films since 1992’s the door shut, Eastwood clung on. But and the woman who finally made him Unforgiven and much of his success can the plane climbed higher, forcing him to grow up. be traced to an innate understanding of reach for the oxygen. It didn’t work. The actor, writer and film-maker will be working-class values (consider 1982’s He passed out, coming to an hour or so 80 in May, yet the man sitting in this Los Honkytonk Man, for example), forged later only to discover the pilot, out of Angeles hotel room could easily pass for while working alongside his father in fuel, about to crash-land into the sea. a young-looking 65. steel mills and lumber yards in his early Eastwood was thrown free, and fought This is the fourth time I’ve met him and twenties. a fierce current to drag himself towards he talks as quietly and succinctly as Clinton Eastwood snr died in 1970; at the shore. ever, delivering short pithy lines with the time his son was a leading man, 'I don’t recall how long it took to get out, his clipped, gravely tones. He’s no great but no more. One of Eastwood’s great but as I’ve said, it was an ordeal I never shakes as an anecdotalist and can be a regrets is that his father didn’t live long want to repeat,’ he recalls in the most little taciturn at times. But slow? Never. enough to see him blossom into the matter-of-fact way possible. 'I collapsed Eastwood doesn’t smoke ('only in movfilm-maker he has become (his mother on the beach.’ ies’), has never done drugs ('they just lived until she was 97, and while she was All this for a girl. Have women always weren’t my thing’), and attributes his alive Eastwood spoke to her every day). been his weakness? 'Maybe that’s true,’ rude health to a twice-daily meditation What did his father think of his son he shrugs. 'I think I became hooked on routine and a diet that scrimps on red becoming an actor? 'He girls at a fairly early age. ‘I learnt the nuts 'Certainly that’s where the meat. thought it was a stupid and bolts of film- interest in music comes He was recently named one of the idea,’ he says. 'But he was world’s most stylish men by the Ameriof a different generation, making and, more from.’ can edition of GQ, yet today Eastwood’s a different era. He never Eastwood is an accomimportantly, really plished musician and a fine cool is seriously compromised by a fantasised. But I have slightly fuddy-duddy windcheater. always been that kind of a learnt what I want- pianist, directing 1988’s 'I guess I’m still a blue-collar guy,’ he guy. I am a good listener. Bird, a biopic of jazz legend ed to do.’ laughs. Joking aside, Eastwood is justifiI think that came from my Charlie Parker, and also ably proud of his working-class upbringschooling. scored several of his own films. ing ('I have worked ever since I was 13’) “I was very quiet. My dad, though, he When he was young he realised that 'if and an underdog story easily as compelwas the opposite; he was very outgoyou were at a party and could sit down ling as any from his films. ing. People really loved him. He was at the piano and play a few numbers, He was born in 1930 in San Francisco, spectacular, in fact, and he would have girls seemed to like that.’ He laughs. California, but spent much of his childbeen a great actor. That would have 'So I’d listen to the records out at the hood on the move. 'When I was born, been something to see; he would have time and learn to play along. It’s funny, the economy wasn’t in a great state, it enjoyed every minute of it.’ but even then, as a mediocre student, was the Depression and my father had Following his father’s wishes, he graduI knew that I would do OK – there was to be quick to try and find work,’ he says. ated from high school and had intended something out there waiting for me.’ 'Everyone was looking for work at that to study music at the University of SeatNot that this was immediately appartime. He sold stocks and bonds, and tle, until he was drafted into the Army at ent. After his discharge from the Army, was always moving from one company the outbreak of the Korean War in 1950. Eastwood drifted around working in the to another, looking for new He never saw action, but he did aforementioned mills, digging ditches ‘I guess I’m opportunities, to better nearly lose his life. and cleaning swimming pools. himself, and to give us a still a blue-collar It was the summer of that year In 1953 he married his first wife, jourbetter chance.’ and Eastwood’s parents were nalist Maggie Johnson, and soon after guy,’ Eastwood remembers a living in Seattle. He had met met director Arthur Lubin, who liked time that his father moved a girl when on a visit home and Eastwood’s demeanour. A few small his young family 450 miles across decided to see her again, hitching a ride television parts followed and in 1958 he California, from Sacramento to Pacific with a naval plane going north. On the finally got his big break, on the cowboy Palisades, so that he could take a job return journey, however, things began to serial Rawhide, which ran until 1966. pumping petrol at a gas station. go wrong. 'It was like an apprenticeship for me,’ he 'Saying that, though, I don’t really re'It was a naval torpedo bomber – there says. 'I learnt the nuts and bolts of filmmember things being particularly tough were no seats – and I had to squeeze making and, more importantly, really as a child. We didn’t go hungry – we into the radar compartment on the learnt what I wanted to do.’ were fed and played with whatever was plane,’ Eastwood says. In 1963 he started work on his first film, around. I’m sure my father did have lots 'It wasn’t designed to house humans Sergio Leone’s Italian/Spanish/German of worries, but my sister and I didn’t reand once crammed inside, thousands production A Fistful of Dollars, for which ally know about them.’ of feet up, the door below him sprung he was paid $15,000 and received an adHis father’s work ethic, however, still open, leaving him exposed. He reached ditional credit as 'Western Consultant’. made a strong impression on his son. for the intercom; it didn’t work. 'I nearly 'I’ve always trusted my instincts, and

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with the spaghetti westerns, I just thought it would be good to go to Spain and see how films were made in other countries,’ he says. 'I wanted to learn. I guess that you could call me a late starter, and I think that’s why there was such a sense of urgency for me.’ He was already in his mid-thirties, and when he finally decided that he’d like to try his hand at directing, with DJ-stalker movie Play Misty for Me, he was already 40 years old. 'People didn’t really do that at the time, go from actor to director,’ he continues. 'There were precedents, Stan Laurel for one, but it was not something that was very common.’ And yet he proved wonderfully adept, his time spent in television at a mature age taught him how to make films quickly and efficiently. He is proud of the fact that even now, after 30-plus films in the director’s chair, he has never gone over budget or over schedule. But for all his popularity he didn’t earn Academy recognition until he was 62, when his revisionist horse opera Unforgiven galloped off into the sunset with the statues for Best Picture and Best Director. 'I knew that the time was right for me to make Unforgiven,’ he says, 'although I didn’t think it’d make any money.’ The film took $150million. Eastwood is less proud of the way he has conducted his personal life. As the five mothers of his seven children will attest, he’s often found monogamy difficult. He remains friends with four of them, although not with Sandra Locke, his longterm lover and author of the tell-all book The Good, the Bad and the Very Ugly. In 1996 he married his current wife, Dina Ruiz, a former television anchorwoman, 35 years his junior; the couple’s daughter, Morgan Eastwood, was born in the December of the same year. And Eastwood is now, finally, 'living in my state of monogamy quite happily’. 'Dina is everything I ever wanted and never found anywhere else,’ he smiles. 'It took me until I was 65 to find her. Like they said at school, I’m a little slow – it takes me longer to do things. But, because I have had children at an older age, I’ve had time to learn patience that I didn’t have earlier in my life when I was more ambitious.’ And yet he is still driven today. When we meet, his latest film, Invictus – the 67th he’s made; his 31st as director – is about be released. The film’s posters feature a muscular Matt Damon, bedecked in the green and gold jersey of the South African rugby

team, while the movie itself is brimming with on-field action, including a bone-crunching 12-minute sequence at the story’s conclusion that re-enacts the Springboks’ unlikely 1995 World Cup Final victory over Jonah Lomu’s all-conquering All Blacks. But the director insists that he has not made a sports movie. 'This project wasn’t approached because of rugby, just like Million Dollar Baby wasn’t approached because of female boxing,’ Eastwood says. 'It’s the story of the use of the game – that’s what attracted me to the project, and to rugby. For me, the story is about the use of a game for reconciliation in a country that was on the verge of civil war when Nelson Mandela took office. 'If he had proceeded with a more military attitude, he would have probably had sympathy there because they had been under apartheid for so long. But Mandela, being a very special person, saw it a different way and he was looking for other ways to reconcile the country and bring it together.’ Adapted from the book Playing the Enemy by journalist John Carlin, Invictus charts Mandela’s bid to unite his people behind the Springboks’ tilt at rugby glory during the 1995 World Cup – the first major sporting event to be held in the post-apartheid country. And while this might sound like a sensible plan, it was plagued with problems, not least by the fact that the vast majority of black South Africans regarded the national rugby team’s green and gold jerseys as symbols of white supremacy. Eastwood casts old friend Morgan Freeman as Mandela, with Damon as South African rugby legend François Pienaar. To his credit, he does not gloss over the fact that for all his political and humanitarian excellence, Mandela had his faults. Like Eastwood, he’s a hero with a particular flaw: 'He wasn’t successful in his marriage, in his relationship with his daughter, and other children that he had,’ says Eastwood, who met Mandela on the Invictus set. 'And I think he has a lot of regret about that sort of thing, but he gave himself to his country.’ As with his 2008 film Gran Torino, which he starred in and directed, his latest offering deals with race. 'That is coincidence,’ he says. 'All the story material comes to you coincidentally. 'It was like when I did Flags Of Our Fathers and turning straight round and doing Letters from Iwo Jima from another point of view. Mandela had been in prison for years and comes out and

there’s the most unusual thing, almost biblical, where he turns the other cheek.’ When shooting his two Second World War films, Flags Of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima, Eastwood came under attack from Spike Lee, who claimed that the director overlooked African-American soldiers who fought in the Pacific theatre: 'If he wishes I could assemble African-American men who fought at Iwo Jima and I’d like him to tell these guys that what they did was insignificant.’ Eastwood responded by accusing Lee of historical ignorance and suggesting that Lee should 'shut his face’. Thanks to hard-guy films like the Dirty Harry series, many perceive Eastwood as a huntin’, shootin’ conservative in the Charlton Heston mould. Eastwood, however, considers himself a 'social libertarian. Leave everybody alone. Quit trying to force everything down everybody’s throat.’ And he is a true animal lover, claiming that the last thing to move him to tears was the death of his daughter’s white cockatoo. His family currently includes 'chickens and birds and a rabbit; the rabbit follows me everywhere.’ For all its persistence, the rabbit will have to cope by itself for a month or two; its owner is already gearing up for his next movie, Hereafter, in which he re-teams with Damon (whom Eastwood praises as 'one of the better young actors’). The film, currently shrouded in secrecy, is a taut thriller which will shoot both in Britain and the United States. 'It is a contemporary piece. It’s three different stories with people who have gone through some sort of stressful time and it’s about how they sort of converge together. Much like a lot of French movies have been in the past, where the stories kind of converge together, and destiny drives each person towards the other. 'I keep finding interesting stories, or they come to me, so I’ll keep making movies.’ But what about his acting? He starred in, as well as directed, Gran Torino, but is he now done? 'I don’t know. I never know what’s the last one, but I’m at the age where they don’t write a lot of great roles for people and I’m happy at the back of the camera. I don’t have to wear a tie, nobody is coming in saying, “this won’t match”, and so, there are a lot of advantages.’ He laughs, fiddling with the buttons on his windcheater. Not that he’s ruled out the possibility of being a leading man again.

By Will Lawrence Feb 3rd 2010

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The Outrageous misf its

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Grade 6’s Fantasy Dinner Party Hi! We’re the students of Grade 6 at the American Academy Junior School, and we’d like to tell you who we would choose to have at our Fantasy Dinner Party. Obviously, we’d all be there so we’re inviting six celebrities to join us. We got to this final list by making lots of suggestions, short-listing them and then voting – we hope you like our ultimate guest list!

The venue: We’ve chosen to have our Dinner Party at Marzano’s restaurant in Larnaca because it’s got great food (especially the dough balls!), it’s a very child-friendly place with great staff and the paintings on the walls are amazing. There’s often live music there too which we think our guests would enjoy. 1. Walt Disney: We all admire Walt Disney for his amazing imagination and for the fact that he created a wonderful world for children through his original characters. Some of us have been to Disneyland and have enjoyed the shows and rides. We’d love to ask him which is his favourite character, what his favourite film is and how he managed to come up with the idea of Mickey Mouse! 2. Bruce Lee: Most of the boys in our class are fans of this martial arts star (especially in his film ‘Enter the Dragon’) and would love to be taught to do a few moves! Bruce Lee basically taught the world all about martial arts and is respected by millions. We’d like to know who HIS teacher was and how he managed to get to be so successful. 3. Michael Jackson: We’re learning some of his songs in Music at the moment, but most of us have loved his songs for years. He is the King of Pop, has won loads of awards and is a widely respected singer and dancer. We’d like to ask him questions about his childhood and about how he died, and it would be great if he could teach us how to do the Moonwalk! We also think he’d really like to chat with Walt Disney, seeing as he was such a fan of Peter Pan. 4. Justin Bieber: The class had mixed views about this singer – it seems you either love him or hate him, but the fans won out in the vote. He has made some great songs in the last couple of years, has won many awards and has the most viewed video-clips on youtube. Lots of the girls think he’s really ‘fit’ too! 5. Carlos Mamani – the first Chilean miner to be rescued: We all discussed the news of the miners’ rescue and thought it was a fascinating news story. It’s amazing that these miners managed to survive for all those days under the ground, and we’d like to talk with Carlos about their experiences as a group of trapped men, how he felt when he came out into the sunlight and what he will do next.

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6. Pele: Most of the boys are great fans of ‘the greatest footballer in the world ever’! They are in awe of the way he managed to combine goals with back-flips and want to be taught how to tackle like a pro. Who knows, maybe after the meal, all of the celebrity guests and the whole of Grade 6 could play a football match together. We have a great cheer-leading group as well!

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InCyprus Take a BreakTime

ASTIN, Sean BLOOM, Orlando BROSNAN, Pierce BUSCEMI, Steve CAGE, Nicolas CONNERY, Sean CROWE, Russell CRUISE, Tom DAFOE, Willem DE NIRO, Robert DIESEL, Vin DOWNEY JR, Robert DREYFUSS, Richard DUVALL, Robert EVERETT, Rupert FERRELL, Will

ACROSS 1. Relative of a giraffe 6. Expect 11. Scatter 14. Mature 15. Oblivion 16. Bother 17. Testimony

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Movie Actors The remaining letters spell the name of a movie for which William Hurt won an Oscar FIENNES, Ralph FREEMAN, Morgan GERE, Richard GOSLING, Ryan HANKS, Tom HARRELSON, Woody HOFFMAN, Philip Seymour HOWARD, Terrence HURT, William JACKSON, Samuel L. JONES, Tommy Lee KEATON, Michael KILMER, Val LABEOUF, Shia MAGUIRE, Tobey MARTIN, Steve

19. French for “Good” 20. Ottoman title 21. Supposedly, he delivers babies 23. Animal with a snout 26. A gesture of respect made by women 27. Designed to confuse


31. Diminish 32. Pilot a car 33. An East Indian tree 36. A young lady 37. Winged 38. A period of discounted prices 39. Dine 40. Mountain crest 41. Blackbird 42. Thesis 44. Stick 47. Make into law 48. A dog’s warning 49. Not behind 53. Decay 54. Positioning 59. Biblical first woman 60. Encrypted 61. 1000 kilograms 62. Moray 63. Beams on ships 64. Gray sea eagles

DOWN 1. Verbal 2. Do-it-yourselfer’s purchase 3. Clever 4. P 5. Urge 6. “Oh, my!” 7. Accompanying 8. Dogfish 9. Nigerian tribesman 10. The shaved crown of a monk 11. Wooden shoe 12. Smells 13. Wobbly 18. Thick bituminous liquids 22. Attempt 23. Leg bone 24. Stop (nautical) 25. Animal friends 26. A hollow in a cliff 27. Lady’s title 28. Runs in neutral 29. Give a speech 30. Gunpowder ingredient

33. A gold coin of ancient Persia 34. Apportion 35. Avid 37. Backside 38. Stiff hair 40. Astronauts exit through this 41. Authorization 42. Morning moisture 43. Nipple 44. Concur 45. Piloted a car 46. Inn 49. Assistant 50. Scoundrel 51. Concludes 52. 1 1 1 1 55. Fish eggs 56. Crag 57. Motel 58. Half of two

*All answers will be in next months issue so keep a look out to see if your answers are correct.

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Helping Small Business’s along


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