Sluts Go to Heaven, Nuns Go to Hell A production by:
Sean Benge, Taylor Fregeau, Liza Summers
Preliminary Research The concept for our film, Sluts Go to Heaven, Nuns Go to Hell, was originally created through the meshing of two complex characters: a nun with Tourettes syndrome and a sparkling frat boy douchebag. These characters originated in Taylor and Sean’s lists of 70 preliminary movie ideas. Needless to say, we’ve all done enough research on the topic of obnoxious fraternity boys at Indiana University. However, our film also contains more complex topics, such as Tourettes Syndrome, sexual addiction, and Catholic nuns; to create a successful product, we had to research all of these topics to acquire a general knowledge, inform our writing, and better develop our characters. Our main character, Mary‐Beth, is a Catholic nun with mild Tourettes Syndrome. Throughout the movies she displays a characteristic verbal tic—so we focused our research on how this disease affects people, particularly in verbal form. We took liberties with the way this character displays the disease, because people with Tourettes typically do not shout out specific phrases in the way that Mary‐Beth does. This character also required research on Catholic nuns, specifically what they wear. This helped to inform the costume design as much as anything else. Both of the main characters, Mary‐Beth and Chaz, attend a sex addiction class. To aid in the portrayal of a realistic sex addiction class we researched some of the basics of sex addictions. However, we came to the conclusion through our research that it’s not a real disease—so we also took liberties in our script with this subject.
In general, although all of these subjects can be construed as serious issues, we intentionally utilized them for comic effect in order to create a more light‐hearted, fun production that would allow us to entertain both the audience and ourselves throughout the production process. Completing research on these topics allowed us mesh creativity and realism in our final product.
SLUTS GO TO HEAVEN, NUNS GO TO HELL BY SEAN BENGE, TAYLOR FREGEAU, AND LIZA SUMMERS It’s Fall at St. Mary’s State College, a small Catholic institution in the middle of fucking nowhere. MARY-BETH—a nun with mild Tourettes—is leaving her convent, dressed in her habit, to attend a nun class. Meanwhile, CHAZ (a.k.a. THE SPARKLING DOUCHEBAG) is driving down the street in his obnoxious yellow Hummer, jamming to John Mayer, reclined in the driver’s seat with his douchey neon shades on. Taking a turn, he slams the breaks to barely avoid hitting Mary-Beth. In a state of fear, shock, and anger, her Tourettes surface for the first time and she screams out her habitual obscenity. At the same time, two girls’ heads surface in Chaz’s car: epic case of roadhead. In a fit of rage, Chaz exits the car, screaming obscenities with his pants at his ankles. Mary-Beth exerts her authority and threatens to call the cops unless Chaz agrees to attend sex addiction classes. He accepts and drives away. It’s the first sex addiction class that Chaz is attending. The room is generally bland with the exception of the sparkling Jesus posters plastered all over the walls. The attendees consist of: a balding professor in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, an overweight Hispanic man in a red hoodie, a skanky chick who cannot be over the age of 18, a conservative philosophy teacher in a floor-length dress, Chaz, and Mary-Beth. Mary-Beth is dressed in normal clothes, and Chaz (still wearing his neon glasses) does not realize that she is actually the nun with Tourettes. At this point we recognize the fact that Mary-Beth is secretly a sex addict also. The attendees swap stories, and FRANCISCO, the mediator, assigns Mary-Beth to be Chaz’s sponsor. We witness them exchanging numbers and arranging a meeting for Friday. It’s Friday; Mary-Beth and Chaz are meeting in a quaint café on campus. Over drinks, they begin discussing typical sex addiction topics and the mood changes from a professional state to a more erotic one. Chaz leaves abruptly and Mary-Beth orders more drinks for herself. Split scene: Chaz calls Mary-Beth in a fit of passion and invites her on a date. She accepts. Mary-Beth and Chaz go on several dates— to a carnival, a bar, the movies, and a park— during which they begin to fall in love. Their final date is at a café, where they can no longer resist
the urge to feverishly make out and grope each other over the dinner table. Plates, glasses, and fake flowers go flying in the heat of the moment. The scene moves to Mary-Beth’s apartment— lights completely off. The door bursts open and we see the couple enter, making out passionately. They fall onto the bed together. It’s the morning after. Mary Beth is sleeping and Chaz opens his eyes to a visual nightmare. Jesus is above him on the ceiling, in poster form. He looks around the small room in a panic and sees Jesus EVERYWHERE. He can barely resist the urge to scream. Looking for a reprieve, he stumbles into the bathroom, where he discovers Mary-Beth’s habit hanging from the shower. He screams like a small, pre-pubescent child. MaryBeth wakes up, startled, and screams her Tourettes obscenity. Chaz immediately realizes her true identity. He leaves abruptly without his clothes, then re-enters briefly to retrieve only his neon shades. Chaz is hooking up with RANDOM BLONDE CHICK in his room; he sees a flash of silver and realizes that she’s wearing a cross necklace. He kicks her out of his room and begins weeping. Mary-Beth is in church, when she spots a hummer out the window. She screams her obscenity and is asked to leave by the PRIEST. Chaz trudges along a sidewalk through campus alone, while we see Mary-Beth dragging her feet on a different sidewalk. The two are walking separately, consumed by their loneliness, when they accidentally end up running into each other at the same corner. MR. JESUS, a wise homeless man with a long beard and some Jesus-like tendencies, is sitting on the corner. Mr. Jesus also has prophetic Tourettes, and he begins yelling wise prophecies at the couple. He declares that Chaz and Mary-Beth should embrace their sluttiness, and that Mary Beth is not cut out for the nun lifestyle. The two are under the impression that this is actually Jesus, and they are instantly awed and aroused. Mary-Beth rips off her habit and reveals a pleather catsuit underneath. The two embrace and make out, and Chaz promises not to be quite so much of a sparkling douchebag. Mr. Jesus watches, and then asks them for change. THE END
Sluts Go to Heaven, Nuns Go to Hell By Sean Benge, Taylor Fregeau, and Liza Summers
EXT. SAINT MARYâ€™S STATE COLLEGE - AFTERNOON
Leaves are falling on the chilly, sleepy Midwestern campus as students clad in conservatively colored sweatshirts are hurrying to and from buildings. CHAZ, a sparkling douchebag with severe narcissism, is making a left turn in his giant yellow hummer while receiving fellatio. He is wearing neon sunglasses and rocking out to John Mayer. MARY-BETH, a nun with mild Tourettes clad in a habit, steps into the crosswalk without looking. Chaz barely avoids hitting her. MARY-BETH (Clutching chest) FUCKING WOODEN BOOBS! CHAZ Sister, what the hell?! Crazy bitch! Chaz slams the breaks. He puts the car in park and two girls peak up from his lap. He jumps out of the car with his pants around his ankles. CHAZ You could have been killed, you pious skank! MARY-BETH (Fixing her habit in a flustered manner) Young man, you could have done me serious bodily harm! What would God think?! And who are these unholy harlots?! Further, I apologize about my outburst. May God forgive me...for the hundredth time. Chaz pulls up his pants, a confused look on his face. CHAZ Sister...fuck you. MARY-BETH (Flabbergasted) Anyhow, I am going to need your name, seeing as must repent for your wicked ways. I am a Sister and a member of this convent and you have an obligation to obey such a request. Seeing as your sinful and malicious actions have nearly killed me, I am required to help you and am hereby ordering you to attend sex addiction counseling. (CONTINUED)
CHAZ Respectfully speaking, Sister...that’s bullshit! Fuck you. Again. Chaz licks his lips provocatively. CHAZ But...if I have to go to this meeting...will I be seeing you there? MARY-BETH God willing, NO! Mary-Beth adjusts her habit and walks away, still flustered. Chaz watches her go. CHAZ Your loss, Sweetheart! Mary-Beth utters a sigh of disgust. Chaz strolls back to his car, where the bimbos are mindlessly fixing their hair and pushing up their bras. Chaz hops in the driver’s seat. CHAZ Well...get back to it, bitches! The girls’ heads disappear from view. Chaz cranks up the volume on John Mayer and speeds off. 2
INT. SEX ADDICTION CLASSROOM - NIGHT
The classroom is generally neutral and bland, with the exception of the sparkling JESUS! posters plastered all over the walls. In the back of the room there is a table stocked with unglazed donuts and lukewarm coffee. The attendees consist of: a balding professor in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, an overweight Hispanic man wearing a red hoodie, a skanky chick who cannot be over the age of 18, a conservative philosophy teacher in a floor-length dress, Chaz, and Mary-Beth. Mary-Beth is dressed in normal clothes, and Chaz (still wearing his neon glasses) does not realize that she is actually the same nun with Tourettes he almost killed. FRANCISCO, the mediator, is seated in a black chair at the center of the circle. FRANCISCO Welcome, all! I hope you all got the chance to enjoy the delicioso snacks. I see that we have faces nuevos. Caliente! Well, let’s get (MORE) (CONTINUED)
FRANCISCO (cont’d) to business. We are all here because we share a common problem. EL SEXO! He jumps up and delivers an offensive pelvic thrust. All of the group members sit in embarrassed silence. FRANCISCO Sorry about that. Anyways, Timothy-- would you like to begin as usual? TIMOTHY (Wringing his sweaty hands) Uhh...sure. I’ve been splinter-free for two months how...but it’s been forty minutes since I last looked at porn...it was that cartoon tree kind again...I did some research and found that I suffer from cartoonicus dendrophilia... (Looks up thoughtfully and shivers) That’s all... FRANCISCO Thank you, Timothy. That was very therapeutic. You’re muy brave. CHAZ Cartoonicus dendrophilia...more like virgin. Chaz chuckles to himself. Everyone else turns to look at him. Francisco shoots a death glare. FRANCISCO Sooooo, Senor New Guy. Would you care to share with the classe what brings you here? CHAZ Whatever. So I was gettin’ dome from two Tri-Delts...cruisin’ down St. Paul when some crazy bitch nun jumped out of friggin nowhere. That’s why I’m here. Chicks love me. I’m beautiful. Fuck y’all. Getting too much ass has never been a problem.
FRANCISCO You, sir, truly suffer from a disease. But worry not! We are all here to help you. CHAZ Asshole. I’ve been disease-free for five days. FRANCISCO Mmmm...yes...haven’t we all... Anyways! Mary, would you like to share with us this week? Mary-Beth glances at Chaz. He is plaintively staring at her boobs through his sunglasses. She un-crosses and re-crosses her legs. MARY-BETH Well, I have good news. It’s been four months since I quit stripping and offering private dances in the Champagne Room at Big Pauly’s Truck Stop. And I also haven’t had a 7-man pile on within the last month! FRANCISCO That’s amazing, Mary! Es fantastico!! You are a true inspiration to us all! He delivers another giant pelvic thrust. All of the group members groan audibly. FRANCISCO Que bueno! Que bueno! The participants deliver a lackadaisical series of claps. MARY-BETH (Shyly) Aw, shucks. Thank you, guys. FRANCISCO On that successful note, Mary-- you have come so far and are an inspiration to us all. I feel that in light of your accomplishments... (Shoots a look of concern at Chaz) ...and Chaz’s apparent need for severe guidance...it seems fitting (MORE) (CONTINUED)
5. FRANCISCO (cont’d) to assign him as your sponsoree. I am asking that you show him the same path of virtue you seem to have found. CHAZ (Winking at Mary-Beth) I thought you looked familiar. I’ve been by Big Pauly’s Truck Stop once or twice. MARY-BETH (Ignoring him) Francisco, are you sure this is a good idea? I’m feeling very hesitant...
The conservative philosophy teacher screams out in pleasure at the sound of the word "hesitant." FRANCISCO Marquicious, please try to contain your urges. MARQUICIOUS Thanks...I needed that... FRANCISCO I think that’s enough for today. Muy bueno, everyone! Mucho progresso! Chaz, meet with Mary before you leave and set up a time to meet for some...extra help. Arriba! Everyone grabs their things and disperses except for Chaz and Mary-Beth, who linger behind. CHAZ So, Sugar Tits, how are we going to do this? MARY-BETH (Hesitates, mildly offended) ...Friday night? 7 o’clock at The Smelly Cat Café? CHAZ You mean The Stinky Pussy Café. Done, I’m there. Chaz departs. Francisco jumps out from behind a corner and scares the shit out of Mary-Beth. (CONTINUED)
FRANCISCO Que bueno! That’s what I like to seeeeeeee! Mucho cooperation! MARY-BETH (Startled) FUCKING WOODEN BOOBS! 3
INT. THE SMELLY CAT CAFE - NIGHT
The Smelly Cat Café is a dimly lit, hole-in-the-wall establishment that has a brick interior and rustic wooden tables. Mary-Beth is sitting at a table, reading a generic trashy romance novel. Chaz pulls up outside and parks in a fire lane. He gets out, enters the restaurant, and sits down across from Mary-Beth. He keeps his neon glasses on. MARY-BETH Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it dark out? CHAZ I don’t take these off. Because I don’t stop partying until the sun comes up, bitch. MARY-BETH Well...that’s that. Let’s just get down to business. How I’ve overcome my urges... CHAZ What urges? MARY-BETH Sexual urges. CHAZ Tell me about them. MARY-BETH (Ignoring Chaz) How I’ve overcome my urges. Step one: Tell yourself that you don’t have to seek acceptance by having sex with people. Or multiple people, for that matter. CHAZ Then what’s it mean when everyone seeks acceptance by fucking you?
MARY-BETH (Still ignoring Chaz) Step two: If step one doesn’t work, and you are overcome by urges, think of terrible things. Bombings, house fires, rotten tomatoes, sad pandas... CHAZ Urges don’t overcome me. I come over urges. And by urges, I mean sluts. MARY-BETH (Flustered) STEP THREE: Visualize all the people you’ve hurt with your actions... CHAZ (Interrupting her) Waaaait, wait wait. Hold the phone, bitch. You’re saying that the O-face is a symbol of pain? I mean, maybe after 4 hours...but... MARY-BETH ...Four hours? Chaz slowly removes his sunglasses in a sexual manner. Mary-Beth leans across the table, captivated. CHAZ (Drawing out his words) Fooooooooour hoooooooooourssssssss. Chaz puts his glasses back on and stands up. Mary-Beth’s face turns red; she is completely aroused. CHAZ Good talk. I’ve got places to go, bitches to fuck. Later, Snazzy Vag. Chaz exits. Mary-Beth slumps in her seat and signals for a waiter to bring her a round of drinks. 4
INT. CHAZ’S ROOM/MARY-BETH’S APARTMENT
Chaz is sitting on his leather futon. He is wearing a zebra-striped snuggie and is surrounded by crumpled beer cans, posters of naked chicks, and an enormous fish tank. He picks up his cell phone and calls Mary-Beth. Split (CONTINUED)
scene. Mary-Beth answers. Her apartment is clean and simple, with the exception of various Jesus paraphernalia hanging on the walls. CHAZ Yo. MARY-BETH Hi? CHAZ How you doing, Sweet Cheeks? MARY-BETH I’m fine, Chaz. What do you need? CHAZ I’m supposed to call you whenever I feel the urge, so... MARY-BETH So do you want to talk about it? CHAZ I was thinking that we could, uh, meet up. Yeah. MARY-BETH I guess we could do that. CHAZ So, uh, Wednesday night? There’s this thing going on...or whatever...and I was thinking it would be a good time to...discuss my...problems. MARY-BETH Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll pick you up at 8. CHAZ Perfs mcgerfs. My Hummer’s in the shop. MARY-BETH Mmmmhmmm. Bye, Chaz. CHAZ Later, Sexy Thaaaang. It’s a date.
MARY-BETH No. It’s not. Mary-Beth hangs up the phone and puts her head in her hands. Chaz high fives the air and crushes a beer can on his head in celebration. 5
EXT. CARNIVAL - NIGHT
Beginning of montage. ’So Happy Together’ by The Turtles is playing throughout. Chaz and Mary-Beth are walking through a carnival at night. Chaz is carrying a book: 10 Simple Steps to Overcoming Your Addiction to Women. They stop to play a carnival game. Chaz wins a giant stuffed octopus for Mary-Beth. They sit on a bench to eat funnel cakes together, and Mary-Beth inaudibly reads sections of the book to Chaz, who is blatantly not paying attention and staring at her boobs through his sunglasses. 6
INT. BAR - NIGHT
Chaz and Mary-Beth are sitting in the corner of an intimate, dimly-lit bar. Chaz is drinking an appletini; Mary-Beth is sipping a glass of wine. Mary-Beth is pointing out passages from Jesus Wants You to be Celibate to Chaz. They are laughing and talking inaudibly. 7
INT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT
Chaz and Mary-Beth are sitting in the middle of the theater at a midnight movie, watching ’The Goonies.’ Chaz is, for once, not wearing his sunglasses. They both reach into their bag of popcorn at the same time and their hands touch briefly. They make eye contact. Chaz immediately shifts uncomfortably, pulls his glasses out from his pocket, and puts them on. Mary-Beth shifts the other way and stares ahead at the screen. 8
EXT. PARK - DAY
Chaz and Mary-Beth are sitting in a park on campus, on a blanket, having a picnic. Chaz is demonstrating to Mary-Beth the fratty way to take one’s sunglasses on and off, in slow motion. She laughs inaudibly and puts her hand on his. They make eye contact. He leans in to kiss her, but suddenly backs off and pulls out his Adam and Eve Were Wrong book from his pocket. Mary-Beth looks on longingly as he begins to read.
INT. THE SMELLY CAT CAFE - NIGHT
Chaz and Mary-Beth are eating dinner at The Smelly Cat Café, sitting at the same table where they had their first meeting. He is not wearing his sunglasses. They are inaudibly talking and laughing. Suddenly, they make passionate eye contact and start heatedly making out across the table. Plates, glasses, and fake flowers go flying in the heat of the moment. End of montage. 10
INT. MARY-BETH’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Chaz and Mary-Beth slam open the door to her apartment, making out. The place is pitch black, so nothing can be seen except for their silhouettes and the basic outlines of furniture. We hear the sounds of clothes being ripped off. CHAZ Be my sponsor, bitch. Chaz and Mary-Beth continue making out and fall onto the bed. 11
INT. MARY-BETH’S APARTMENT - MORNING
Chaz wakes up naked amongst a tangle of sheets but does not open his eyes. Mary-Beth is still sleeping next to him. CHAZ (Interior monologue) I totally got laid last night. And it was totally awesome. YESSSSSSSSS. Bow chicka wow wowwwwww. So...I guess I should go. Clothes, stat. Chaz opens his eyes slowly and is immediately face-to-face with a GIGANTIC JESUS POSTER on the low ceiling. Chaz lets out a stifled moan of panic. CHAZ (Interior monologue) JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!??!?! WHERE THE HELL AM I?!?!??!!?!?!? Chaz scrambles out of bed in a panic. He notices that the walls are adorned with crucifixes, various religious paintings and photos, and a giant sparkly banner that reads: ’JESUS!’ Chaz stumbles into the small bathroom and locks the door. He presses his back up against it and closes his eyes.
11. CHAZ (Interior monologue) Okay, okay. This is not that bad. I can do this. I can put on my clothes and my shades and GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. You’ve fucked worse, Chaz. You’re cool, man.
Chaz opens his eyes. A nun habit is hanging from the shower rod. Chaz goes pale; his mouth drops, and his face contorts into one of horror and tremendous pain. CHAZ (High-pitched scream) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chaz runs out in the bedroom, slamming the bathroom door behind him. In the bed, Mary-Beth wakes up to the sound of Chaz’s girly screams. MARY-BETH (Startled) FUCKING WOODEN BOOBS!!!!!! Complete silence. Chaz and Mary-Beth stare at each other in mutual horror. At this moment, Chaz finally realizes her true identity. CHAZ Sweet Jesus, I fucked a nun. Chaz abruptly runs out of the room. Mary-Beth clutches the sheets around her, stunned. The door slams open again and Chaz runs back in, only to grab his sunglasses off the floor. He puts them on and runs back out-- still naked. 12
INT. CHAZ’S ROOM - NIGHT
Beginning of montage. ’Total Eclipse of the Heart’ is playing. Chaz is on his leather futon, shirtless, straddled by RANDOM BLONDE CHICK in a Pocahontas costume. He is wearing his glasses and holding a can of beer in one hand and a Smirnoff Ice in the other. The blonde leans in closer to whisper in his ear. RANDOM BLONDE CHICK So do you want me to... Chaz sees a flash out of the corner of his eye as she’s talking, and realizes that a silver cross necklace is dangling from her neck.
CHAZ GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!! NOOOOOOW!!!!!! RANDOM BLONDE CHICK Fuck you, you limp-dicked asshole... The blonde gets off of him, offended, and storms out. Chaz runs to his bed and grabs his zebra snuggie. He curls up in the fetal position on the futon and begins to weep. 13
INT. CHURCH - MORNING
Mary-Beth, dressed in her habit, is sitting in a pew in a beautiful Catholic cathedral. The priest is delivering a sermon at the pulpit, and all of the nuns around her are listening attentively. She looks outside the window right as a yellow hummer drives past. MARY-BETH FUCKING WOODEN BOOBS! Deadly silence. Everyone turns and glares at her, including the PRIEST. PRIEST Iâ€™m sorry, Sister, but that is an entirely inappropriate thing to say in Godâ€™s house. I must ask you to leave us in peace. Mary-Beth gets up with dignity and walks down the aisle, out through the doors. All eyes follow her as she leaves. When she gets out into the hallway, she begins to weep. 14
EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY
Split scene. Chaz is trudging along a sidewalk through the picturesque campus, completely alone. He is wearing his sunglasses but obviously crying underneath them. Mary-Beth is trudging along a different sidewalk, wearing her nun habit. End of montage. 15
EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY
The respective sidewalks that Chaz and Mary-Beth are walking on converge at a corner, and they are suddenly standing face-to-face outside of the on-campus homeless shelter for less fortunate people. They make eye contact but are unable (CONTINUED)
to say anything to each other. A homeless man, MR. JESUS, is sitting on the ground, dressed in tattered clothes and clutching a hat for change. He has a large beard and does indeed resemble Jesus. Mr. Jesus also has a mild form of Tourettes, which is expressed in the form of prophecies. Chaz and Mary-Beth do not notice him, their attention completely fixed on one another. CHAZ Yo. MARY-BETH Hi? CHAZ So... MARY-BETH (Overlapping) So... CHAZ How you been? MARY-BETH Good. I’ve been really good. Implementing God’s word into my everyday life. CHAZ That sounds boring as shit. MARY-BETH Chaz... CHAZ Sorry, sorry. No, it’s cool. You’re a nun-- I dig it. MARY-BETH (Interrupting) And how have you been? Still attending the group meetings? CHAZ Yeah. Timothy has pretty much stopped looking at tree porn for good...and Francisco invited me to his daughter’s quincenera or some shit... Everyone’s been wondering where you are.
MARY-BETH Well, I think I’ve been managing fine on my own with Jesus’ help. Silence ensues. MR. JESUS PRAISE JESUS! JESUS WANTS YOU TO EMBRACE YOUR SEXUALITY! BE A SLUT FOR JESUS! WWW.SLUTSFORJESUS.COM, 24/7! Mary-Beth and Chaz look at each other in confusion and then up to the heavens, trying to find the source of the voice. MR. JESUS I’m down here, nutballs. LISTEN TO THE WORD OF MR. JESUS! Mary-Beth and Chaz spot Mr. Jesus on the ground. They both enter a state of complete shock and awe, under the impression that this truly is Jesus speaking to them. MR. JESUS Now listen up to the gospel of the Big J, ladies. First of all, you’ve got to BE A SLUT FOR JESUS. Both of you! Spread the love! Second of all, stop being pussies. Third of all, YOU! (Pointing to Chaz) Lose the glasses. They’re tacky. Chaz takes off his sunglasses as if they were on fire and drops them on the ground. Mr. Jesus picks them up and puts them on before continuing. MR. JESUS And YOU! (Pointing to Mary-Beth) Lose the habit. It’s unbecoming. Show us your tits. Mary-Beth obeys his commanded. She rips off her habit and reveals a pleather catsuit underneath. Both Chaz’s and Mr. Jesus’ mouths drop. CHAZ (To himself) Sweet Jesus. I fucked that nun.
MR. JESUS (To Mary-Beth) God bless your soul. You were not cut out to be a nun, and hereforth Mr. Jesus declares that YOU SHALL BE A NUN NO LONGER! MARY-BETH Hallelujah! CHAZ HALLELUJAH, FUCK YES! Mary-Beth and Chaz simultaneously make ’Praise the Lord’ motions. Chaz pulls Mary-Beth into a bear hug. They make eye contact, smile, and begin making out obscenely. Mary-Beth abruptly pulls away. MARY-BETH No more degrading titles. No more Tri-Delts. No more appletinis, and especially...no more rusty trombones. CHAZ Done-zo. They continue making out, more passionately. Mary-Beth abruptly pulls away once more. MARY-BETH And no more neon shades. CHAZ Anything for you, baby. FUCKING WOODEN BOOBS! Mary-Beth laughs. They continue making out. Chaz pushes her up against the brick wall of the building. Mr. Jesus watches them through Chaz’s glasses and scratches his beard. MR. JESUS ...Spare change?
CHAZ: The Sparkling Douchebag
MARY-BETH: The Nun with Tourettes
LS‐ Chaz sitting on futon
MS‐ Chaz going for his cellphone on the futon.
CU‐ Chaz cycling through phone for Mary‐Beth’s number
LS‐ Mary‐Beth enters the room and answers her cell
MS‐ Chaz, stretched out on the Futon (sitting up)
MS‐ Chaz, stretched out on the Futon (sitting
BG: Dorm room, white walls Char2: Chaz Props: Playboy centerfolds, beer cans, fish tank, fish, cell phone, leather futon BG: futon Char2: Chaz Props: leather futon, cellphone BG: Cell phone screen/blurry room in the distance Char 2: Chaz Props: TV, beer cans, pizza boxes BG: Whitee walls Char1‐ Mary‐Beth Props: Frames w/ pictures of Jesus, a Jesus statue on a wooden table, four wooden chairs, BG: Dorm room, white walls Char2: Chaz Props: Playboy centerfolds, beer cans, fish tank, fish, cell phone, leather futon BG: Whitee walls Char1‐ Mary‐Beth Props: Frames w/ pictures of Jesus, a Jesus statue on a wooden table, four wooden chairs, BG: Dorm room, white walls Char2: Chaz
CU‐ Chaz’s face (shoulders up)
CU‐ Chaz’s face (shoulders up)
Props: Playboy centerfolds, beer cans, fish tank, fish, cell phone, leather futon BG: Whitee walls Char1‐ Mary‐Beth Props: Frames w/ pictures of Jesus, a Jesus statue on a wooden table, four wooden chairs, BG: Dorm room, white walls Char2: Chaz Props: Playboy centerfolds, beer cans, fish tank, fish, cell phone, leather futon BG: Whitee walls Char1‐ Mary‐Beth Props: Frames w/ pictures of Jesus, a Jesus statue on a wooden table, four wooden chairs, BG: Dorm room, white walls Char2: Chaz Props: Playboy centerfolds, fish tank, fish, cell phone, BG: Whitee walls Char1‐ Mary‐Beth Props: Frames w/ pictures of Jesus, BG: Dorm room, white walls Char2: Chaz Props: Playboy centerfolds, fish tank, fish, cell phone,
MS‐ Chaz walking to look at his fish
POV of Fish in tank at Chaz’s distorted looking face
MS‐ Mary‐Beth’s facial expression/face palming herself
LS‐ Chaz high‐ fiving air/crushing can
Jib up/pull back as Chaz and Mary‐ Beth walk through the middle of a carnival
LS‐ Mary‐Beth stop at a game booth
BG: Whitee walls Char1‐ Mary‐Beth Props: Frames w/ pictures of Jesus, BG: Dorm room, white walls Char2: Chaz Props: Playboy centerfolds, fish tank, fish, cell phone, BG: Dorm room Comp. Graphics‐ Fish swimming and looking at Chaz Char2: Chaz Props: Playboy Centerfolds, leather futon BG: White walls Char1‐ Mary‐Beth Props: Frames w/ pictures of Jesus staring at her. BG: Dorm room, white walls Char2: Chaz Props: Playboy centerfolds, beer cans, fish tank, fish, cell phone, leather futon BG: Well lit carnival at nighttime. Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Extras Props: Carnival rides, stuffed animals, balloons, garbage cans, book BG: Well lit carnival at nighttime.
Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Extras Props: Carnival rides, stuffed animals, garbage can, book POV of Mary‐Beth: BG: Typical ‘throw Chaz Pays the ball and hit the Carnie and plays jugs off of the the game table’ game Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Extra (Carnie) Props: Milk jugs, carnival booth, 6 softballs (2 for chaz) a sign denoting the price, stuffed animals, book POV of Carnie BG: Well lit watching Chaz give carnival at Mary‐Beth the nighttime. animal and they Char1: Mary‐Beth walk off scene Char2: Chaz Extras Props: carnival booths, flashing lights, stuffed animals, stuffed octopus animal, book MS, POV of Funnel BG: Different cake maker‐ Chaz carnival food and Mary‐Beth vendors. Flashing walk up to the lights of different funnel cake place rides. and order a funnel cake Tracking shot of BG: Well lit them walking to a carnival at bench to eat nighttime. Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz
Extras Props: carnival booths, flashing lights, stuffed animals, stuffed octopus animal, book MS Chaz looking at BG: Well lit Mary‐Beth’s boobs carnival at as she is reading nighttime. from the book Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Extras Props: carnival booths, flashing lights, stuffed animals, stuffed octopus animal, book POV Chaz , CU on BG: Well lit Mary‐Beth’s boobs. carnival at nighttime. Char1: Mary‐Beth LS‐ Chaz and Mary BG: Somewhat Beth at an smoky, dimly lit “intimate” dimly‐lit bar/strip club bar where their Char1: Mary‐Beth backs are to the Char2: Chaz camera Extras (barkeep/dancers) Props: neon signs displaying that there are nude girls ‘XXX’. Alcohol bottles, cash register, stripper pole, stripper stage, bar, ash tray MS: Chaz and BG: Somewhat Mary‐Beth are smoky, dimly lit drinking and bar/strip club talking Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Extras (barkeep/dancers)
Props: neon signs displaying that there are nude girls ‘XXX’. Alcohol bottles, stripper pole, stripper stage, bar, ash tray LS: Stripper falls BG: Somewhat off of a pole smoky, dimly lit bar/strip club Extra (barkeep/dancers) Props: neon signs displaying that there are nude girls ‘XXX’, stripper pole, stripper stage, bar, ash tray MS: Mary‐Beth and BG: Somewhat Chaz pointing and smoky, dimly lit laughing at the bar/strip club fallen stripper Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Extras (barkeep/dancers) Props: neon signs displaying that there are nude girls ‘XXX’. Alcohol bottles, stripper pole, stripper stage, bar, ash tray MS: Chaz and BG: Dimly lit, Mary‐Beth at the theater theaters atmosphere w/ red seats and a black wall behind the seats Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Props: Red seats, pop corn tub, 2 drinks CU: Split BG: Red seat to screen/tracking popcorn bag.
shot of characters hands going into the pop corn (Editing Mark, make the split screen come together) CU: Both of the characters are in popcorn @ the same time.
MS: Characters make eye contact, Chaz puts on sunglasses inside
LS: Mary‐Beth and Chaz in the park at a picnic
MS: Chaz and Mary‐Beth taking shades on and off
MS: slow zoom to CU as they lean in
Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Props: 2 Drinks, popcorn bag, popcorn. BG: Characters clothing and popcorn bag Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Props: Popcorn, popcorn bag BG: Dimly lit, theater atmosphere w/ red seats and a black wall behind the seats Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Props: Red seats, pop corn tub, 2 drinks BG: A rural park Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Props: Yellow/black checkered blanket, picnic basket, bottle of wine, trees, bushes BG: A rural park Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Props: Yellow/black checkered blanket, picnic basket, bottle of wine, trees, bushes BG: A rural park Char1: Mary‐Beth
POV: Mary‐Beth as Chaz pulls back and takes out his book
POV: Chaz of Mary‐ Beth smiling
MS: Chaz reading to Mary‐Beth
Char2: Chaz Props: Yellow/black checkered blanket, picnic basket, bottle of wine, trees, bushes BG: A rural park Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Props: Trees, bushes BG: A rural park Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Props: Trees, bushes BG: A rural park Char1: Mary‐Beth Char2: Chaz Props: Yellow/black checkered blanket, picnic basket, bottle of wine
Scene 2, Shot 26‐ Medium Shot‐ Mary‐Beth listening to Francisco.
Scene 2, Shot 27‐ Medium Close Up/ Split Screen‐ Chaz looking at Mary‐Beth.
Scene 2, Shot 28‐ Medium Shot‐ Mary‐Beth speaking to the sex addiction class.
Scene 2, Shot 29‐ Medium Shot‐ Francisco speaking to Sex Addiction group.
Scene 2, Shot 30‐ Long Shot‐ Francisco pelvic thrusting.
Scene 1: Mary-Beth coming out of the library
Scene 1: Chaz almost hitting Mary-Beth at a crosswalk
Scene 3: Mary-Beth and Chaz meeting at The Smelly Cat CafĂŠ
Scene 12: Chaz hooking up with a girl on a couch in his frat castle
Scene 15: Mary-Beth and Chaz meeting at the corner where Mr. Jesus is sitting
Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer o This song occurs during Scene 1, after Chaz and Mary Beth finish their argument. Chaz jumps back into his yellow Hummer and cranks up his stereo, which is playing this song. We chose this song because we believe that it fits with Chaz’s douchey personality and taste in music perfectly.
So Happy Together by the Turtles o This song occurs during Scene 5 as the background music for a montage of scenes, during which Chaz and Mary‐Beth go on various dates and fall in love. We chose this classic song because we wanted to convey to the audience how perfect Chaz and Mary‐Beth are together, even though they are so seemingly opposite.
Twilight Zone Theme Song o This song occurs during Scene 11 when Chaz wakes up in Mary‐Beth’s apartment, only to find a plethora of Jesus posters on the wall and her nun’s habit hanging in the bathroom. We chose this song to convey to the audience the sheer horror Chaz feels when he sees these things and realizes that he has just slept with a nun.
Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler o This song occurs during Scene 12 as the background music for the second montage, when Chaz and Mary‐Beth are apart. We chose this notoriously
melodramatic song to convey their sadness about the breakup, but also give the montage a comedic touch. •
All Out of Love by Air Supply o This song occurs in Scene 14, during the split scene of Chaz and Mary‐Beth walking down separate sidewalks, both visibly distraught before they run into each other at the corner. We chose this song to deliver the message that the two have realized they can’t be without each other—leading up to the happy ending of the film.