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volume 10 issue 2 february

RHS from page 1


SNOW from page 1

– RHS sufferers need to be medically diagnosed and put on a path to recovery.” Dr. Graham said that although no medication has yet been developed to eliminate the symptoms of RHS, simple behavioral changes can ease the sufferer’s symptoms. “Patients seeking relief from RHS need to do is stop listening to loud, aggressive heavy metal and start listening to softer, less intense styles of music,” said Dr. Graham. “Instead of rocking out to Pantera or Slayer, for example, patients should try listening at a reasonable volume to, say, George Michael or Neil Diamond or something. Barry White. Frank Sinatra. Hell, Yanni, even. Anything that doesn’t have a bunch of yelling and screaming.” Heavy metal musicians – a group of people who the study acknowledges as being at an exceptionally increased risk of developing RHS – have largely rejected the idea that the music they create is responsible for listeners developing the symptoms of Restless Head Syndrome. “I’ve been headbanging to loud music since I was a Young, male concertgoers (above) are at an increased risk of teenager, and I’m no developing Restless Head Syndrome. worse for wear from “Headbangers, the slang name for RHS it,” said Mick Thompson, guitarist for the sufferers, are usually completely unaware heavy metal band Slipknot. Asked if the that they even suffer from this illness,” said 2005 stroke incurred by Evanescence guiDr. Graham. “Just as most people who suf- tarist Terry Balsamo as a result of onstage fered from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) headbanging worried his at all, Thompson didn’t know they had a medical condition replied: “Who cares – I hate that band.”– until after a remedy was developed – sim- Cliff Frantz ply thinking they just had ‘the jimmylegs’ lead researcher in the study. “As a result, many of these people have desperately turned to self-medicating – mostly by ingesting large amounts of caffeine and/or alcohol – which we now know only exacerbates their symptoms.” The Georgetown study showed that RHS mostly affects young males between the ages of 13 and 40 who listen to heavy metal music and tend to wear their hair long or styled as a mullet. Sufferers’ symptoms tend to worsen during the evening or night, with the fierce, repeated up and down motion often leading them to later suffer severe back pain, strained or pulled neck muscles, headaches or even whiplash.

Simple behavioral changes can ease RHS sufferer’s symptoms.

Simone Walters (above) mimics the effort of her neighbors in redistributing the snow buildup back into the county’s streets.

driveways, of course.” Homeowners in St. Joseph County confirmed that although personal weekend efforts at snow removal to clear driveways in anticipation of Monday morning’s commute to work were initially successful, by Sunday night, county snowplows had pushed through again, completely negating their snowshoveling work. “I hope those bastards are proud of themselves,” groaned Dane Morgan, a local homeowner, watching yet another snowplow blast a few more cubic yards of snow into his recently cleared driveway during its city plowing route. Morgan claimed to have spent close to two hours shoveling his driveway Sunday before county snowplows relocated a section of his street’s snow buildup into his driveway. Morgan is just one of the hundreds of area homeowners who are now part of the

countywide effort to redistribute the snow back into the roads. “Here, you guys can have it all back, how’s that?” yelled Barry Stephenson, shoveling the 14 inches of highly compacted snow thrown into his driveway by snowplows back out into the street. Stephenson’s sentiments were being echoed throughout the neighborhood by heavily-dressed homeowners, many of whom were also out shoveling and snowblowing the snow in their driveways back into the street during a widespread redistribution effort expected to last the entire morning. “Maybe we should find out where these snowplow drivers live and plow snow into their driveways, see how they like it,” Stephenson shouted to one of his neighbors who was also shoveling his driveway. “If these drivers had any dignity they’d be out picking up cans off the streets for a living.”–Cliff Frantz

Morgan is just one of the hundreds of area homeowners who are now part of the countywide effort to redistribute the snow back into the roads.

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7 page 7 SNOW from page 1 RHS from page 1 “Headbangers, the slang name for RHS sufferers, are usually completely unaware that they even...