Issuu on Google+

Spring Edition

Issue

Retched Richard

Spring

Magazine Retched Richard Magazine Free 1 Issue


Spring Edition

The Best Offer Magazine

Retched Richard Publications (RRP) through its creative process is a bold initiative that provides the Tristate area with a pragmatic Magazine of the highest quality. This magazine not only seeks to articulate, amuse and entertain one reader at a time, but aims to provide thought provoking, insightful, optimistic and opinionated articles, essays, and stories with a touch of comedic flair. Retched Rich is published once every month by Retched Richard Publication S. Corp. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent of Retched Richard Publication S. Corp. 2011 by Retched Richard Publication S. Corp. All rights reserved. Views of editorial content do not necessarily reflect the views of Retched Richard Magazine, Retched Richard Publication S. Corp. or its advertisers

Magazine

CEO / PUBLISHER:………………………….......................................Retched Richard EDITOR:………………………..…………......................................….Retched Richard COPY EDITOR:……………………...……….......................................Denise Gomez

CONTRIBUTING WRITER:

Retched Richard

Denise Gomez

2

DESIGNED & PRINTED BY:…

TO ADVERTISE CALL: Tel: 845 202-2150 For Question, Comments & Suggestions Email: retchedrich@gmail.com


Spring Edition

E d it o r i a l The Friend zone Can a men and women really have platonic relationship? Well, here’s my take on ‘the friend zone’. This is my perspective, and not every man thinks the way I do. A man usually ends up in ‘the friend zone’ with a woman because of one of four reasons: 1) The woman is a family member (cousin, niece etc.). 2) He tried to date that woman but she wasn’t interested. 3) He has absolutely no physical attraction to her whatsoever. 4) You were friends with benefits and it withered away to just being friends. Fact is, most men are going to want to get into bed with females they are attracted to. We have no desire to start out being your friend. We don’t want to hang out and talk about Real Housewives of Atlanta, your latest diet plan, or the girl at work who keeps trying to ruin your life.

However, sometimes, some very rare times, our charm, swag and sharp wit don’t work and we find ourselves in ‘the friend zone’. Now depending on how much time, effort and ego we invested, we may decide that versus just walking away and chalking it up to a loss, we actually really like the woman and would like to keep her in our lives.

Now, after saying all of this, if that woman slips even one day and cracks open that door we will shove our foot in and go for it. Yes, we will risk 10 years of a great friendship just to have sex with her, even though the woman probably doesn’t realize this or thinks ‘Oh we’re such great friends’. We are, but we’re also men and we’ll still sleep with you if you let us. This is how we’re wired. Sorry. So yes, a man and a woman can be friends, but it doesn’t mean that we won’t still take that yard if you give us that inch.

Magazine

This usually is the case if the woman is pretty cool, gets along with our other friends and family members, and we can trust her. She usually can help when we have questions about other women (counseling); when we don’t know where to buy a gift or what to buy for a woman we care about; and she also is a great “wing man” because she can size up other women pretty quickly and let’s face it, out of all of our friends, she’s probably the one with the most sense.

Retched Richard

We only listen to these stories and pretend to be interested because we hope you’re going to think we’re sweet and caring and somewhere between sweet and caring we end up seeing you naked. That is THE COLD, HARD TRUTH.

3


Spring Edition

GEMMA FEARE - CURRENT MISS JAMAICA UK (2012-2013) COMPLETES HER SUCCESSFUL VISIT TO JAMAICA AS AN AMBASSADOR, MENTOR, GRADUATE, BEAUTY QUEEN, LIFESTYLE & MEDIA PERSONALITY Since her arrival in Jamaica on February 4th, Gemma Feare - Miss Jamaica UK 2012-2013 has achieved nothing short of spectacular, with daily activities stretching island-wide for the entire month that celebrates Black History and Reggae. This encompassed mentoring at Denham Town Basic School, Operation Restoration Christian School (Trench Town), Mustard Seed Children's Home, Women's Centre (Kingston), UWI Campus (Montego Bay) and Excelsior High School where she appeared as the keynote speaker for their Jamaica Day Service, speaking to over 1300 students on the theme "Celebrating Jamaica - I'm on IT". Gemma received extensive media coverage with interviews and features on Island-wide Radio, Cable and TV Stations; visiting media in Westmoreland, St. Elizabeth, Montego Bay, Portland and Kingston. Several journalists wrote encouraging articles in all major publications as her trail of activities continued week after week.

Retched Richard

Magazine

Ms. Feare also took time out to visit a number of cultural and heritage sites, such as the globally renowned city of Port Royal and even stopped over at Hellshire Beach to enjoy the catch of the day, breathtaking views and overall natural beauty. Nighttime was no different for this lifestyle socialite who thoroughly appreciated the Reggae Wednesday Concert Series at Emancipation Park, Jaria Honour Awards, 12 Tribe Anniversary, Uptown Mondays, Shaggy Ranch Entertainment launch and Britjam launch (of which she is the Brand Ambassador for 2013). Moreover, she was found to host the launch of the BEFFTA Caribbean Awards (Black Entertainment Film Fashion Television and Arts) on Feb 9th, with plans to return in July to co-host the actual ceremony; recognizing and rewarding black excellence at every opportunity. Gemma also attended an event hosted by the Head of Delegation of the European Union to Jamaica (Paola Amadei) where she was able to witness the premiere of the prolific documentary “Songs of Redemption�. The show is said to exhibit the musical talents of the inmates in the rehabilitation programme at the Tower Street Correctional Facility in Kingston. As well as being supported by the EU, it won an award at the Pan-African Film Festival in LA with recent interest for showings at Harvard University and also across Europe. Among Government authorities, members of the diplomatic corps, representatives of the business community, media and academia, Gemma also found herself greeting the inmates; discovering an even more personal perspective to their story.

4


Spring Edition

During her visit, Miss Jamaica UK had the pleasure of meeting very important figures such as Hon. Minister Lisa Hanna (Minister of Youth and Culture) and Hon. Minister Damion Crawford (Minister of State - Entertainment & Tourism) as well as celebrities such as Shaggy, Beenie Man, Fambo, Khago, Chris Gayle, Miss Jamaica Universe -Chantal Zaky and many, many more. The enjoyment didn’t stop there for Gemma Feare as she embarked on a new entrepreneurial venture by launching her own ultimate lifestyle website www. thefeare.com. The site was anchored with two events; the first on Valentine’s Day at Genesis Sheer Elegance Villa in Ironshore, Montego Bay and the second on February 27th at the Wyndham Hotel’s “Les Ambassadeurs” Suite in Kingston, immersed in total opulence. Great promise, achievements and further success is expected to follow the blazing path of this inspirational female as she returns to the UK to continue her reign and future endeavors.

Retched Richard Magazine 5


Retched Richard

Magazine

Spring Edition

6


Spring Edition

Retched Richard

Magazine

7


Retched Richard

Magazine

Spring Edition

New Date

8


Spring Edition

Word Puzzles

Retched Richard Magazine 9


Retched Richard

Magazine

Spring Edition

10


Spring Edition

MEDICAL/HEALTH

KIERA’S EMPLOYMENT AGENCY

NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR...... Full-Time/Part-Time, Live -In/ Live-Out and Weekend Jobs. Seeking Certified HHA’s PCA’s CNA’s NANNIES, BABY NURSE

Retched Richard Magazine

Registering Mon, Wed & Sat 9am-6pm. Sat 9am-2pm By Appointment Only Requirements: Valid HHA Certificate * 2 forms of ID (NY State ID/Passport/Resident Card) 2 typed references, SS Card, Resumes, Clean Driver License, Physical & Drug Screening cannot be older than 6 months, PPD (& chest x-ray if PPD is positive) & Rubella & Rubeola blood work. Hours of Operations: Mon-Fri 9am-6pm. Saturday 9am-2pm Tel: 347 843-0800. Fax: 347 843-0801

11


Spring Edition

Dennis the Korean Menace Dennis Rodman’s flashy visit to North Korea is just a big elaborate show. Don’t be fooled by it. The bizarre, seemingly lighthearted episode comes at a time when tensions are again running high, and overshadows the pain and suffering faced by ordinary North Koreans. The regime is continuing its dangerous weapons tests, treating its population terribly and starving countless people.

Retched Richard

Magazine

On Tuesday, North Korea issued new hostile threats, this time to nullify the armistice agreement that ended the Korean War in 1953. The regime has made threats in the past but the intensity of its recent belligerence is unusual.

12

North Korea blatantly violated multiple U.N. Security Resolutions with its December 2012 rocket test and its third nuclear test in February. It has made hostile statements toward the United States and South Korea in reaction to the announcement of the new U.N. Security Council resolution that imposed more sanctions on the regime. Just when the situation seemed to be getting worse, the world suddenly saw the young leader Kim Jong-un receiving an American star with great hospitality and enjoying an afternoon of basketball. What this portrait lacks is the unimaginable level of the suffering of people inside the country who are deprived of basic human rights and food. The regime’s track record on human rights is even more ominous than its threats of rockets and nuclear weapons that often provoke the international community.

What About the

Children?


Spring Edition

Retched Richard

Magazine

13


Spring Edition

Retched Richard

Magazine

Help wanted

14


Spring Edition

Classifieds

Retched Richard Magazine 15


Retched Richard

Magazine

Spring Edition

16

Phone: (845) 222-4809 Fax: (845) 593-9579 PRINT MORE

NYC LESS

845.377.3480 845.202.2150


Spring Edition

HERE IS A TASTE OF JAMAICAN SLANG, AS COMPILED AND EXPLAINED BY A VERY WILLING GROUP OF PEOPLE WITH ADDITIONS BY CONTACTS IN KINGSTON JAMAICA. A dat wid you: That’s how you are used to comment on someone’s (bad habits.) A mi fi tell yu! :That’s right - used to show agreement with something you’ve been told. A yasso nice!: Expression used when one is having a good time. Big man ting: Grown up business/Honestly. Crawb up: Looking good, something good. Dat a shot/dat shot: That’s fantastic . Do yu ting Go ahead (do your thing.) Dups/Doops: Friend. Flassing: Spending big. Fluffy: Fat, plump.

Gaza: Originally used to describe the Portmore community. Hataz: Hot, sexy woman or girl. Hol’ a medz/medi: Meditate, relax. Level: Calm down, relax. Live a luu: Spoil the plan.

Maad: Awesome.

Mi a forward: I’m coming. Pree: Think about, examine, consider carefully. Rrrhh: Expression of approval

Magazine

Loud up di ting: Expose someone’s business.

Retched Richard

Fulljoy/Funjoy: Enjoy, enjoyment.

17


Retched Richard

Magazine

Spring Edition

18


Spring Edition

Retched Richard

Magazine

19


Retched Richard

Magazine

Spring Edition

Part 2

20


Spring Edition

Retched Richard

Magazine

21


Retched Richard

Magazine

Spring Edition

22


Spring Edition

Retched Richard

Magazine

23


Spring Edition

Love Scope Aries

(21/Mar - 19/Apr)

Active, Demanding, Determined, Effective, Ambitious

ARIES: A co-worker tries to help you with a problem, but creates confusion instead. Don’t get frustrated; it won’t help. Just work together to resolve the problem. Love is in the air at the end of the month. A friend of a friend reveals his or her true feelings for you. Scorpio plays an important role.

Taurus

(20/Apr - 20/May)

Security, Subtle strength, Appreciation, Instruction, Patience

TAURUS: Your tendency to keep quiet pays off in the beginning of the month. A close friend needs to talk and reveals personal information. Your confidence will be appreciated. When it comes to romance, you’ll have to make a decision. Think about where you stand in that special relationship

Gemini

Communication, Indecision, Inquisitive, Intelligent, Changeable

GEMINI: Be patient at work this month. While your boss may seem too conservative for you, he or she really has your best interests at heart. You need to look out for yourself when it comes to your personal life. It will feel like everyone is against you. Be cautious when making decisions.

Retched Richard

Magazine

(21/May - 20/Jun)

Cancer

(21/Jun - 22/Jul)

Emotion, Diplomatic, Intensity, Impulsive, Selective

CANCER: Don’t be the first to volunteer for a new project at work. Wait to see everything that’s involved, because it may be more than you’ve bargained for. However, you should take a chance when it comes to romance. Don’t wait for that intriguing person to ask you out. Make the first move.

24


Spring Edition

Love Scope Leo

(23/Jul - 22/Aug)

Ruling, Warmth, Generosity, Faithful, Initiative

LEO: Your sympathetic side will be called on early in the month. A loved one needs you to listen and give moral support. Be honest, but caring. Give in to your desires and shower yourself in luxury this month. It’s going to be a hectic one at work, so you deserve to pamper yourself.

Virgo

(23/Aug - 22/Sept)

Analyzing, Practical, Reflective, Observation, Thoughtful

VIRGO: While you usually like to be alone, working as a team at work this month will make things so much easier. You’ll share a lot of good ideas and actually make some close friends. Loved ones will rely on you to take care of a family matter. Aquarius is involved

Balance, Justice, Truth, Beauty, Perfection

Retched Richard

Libra

(23/Sept - 22/Oct)

LIBRA: Seek harmony in the workplace this month. Don’t become involved in an office disagreement. Family matters become hectic this month. Loved ones will look to you for advice and support. Take a deep breath. You’ll be able to help everyone out and still have time for yourself

Transient, Self-Willed, Purposeful, Unyielding

SCORPIO: Follow your instincts in the business world this month. It’s your nature to tell the truth, so stick to it. Don’t be tempted to embellish; it will backfire. Love takes center stage as the month draws to a close. An old friend will resurface and want to begin a relationship. Follow your heart.

Magazine

Scorpio

(23/Oct - 21/Nov)

25


Spring Edition

Love Scope

Sagittarius (22/Nov - 21/Dec)

Philosophical, Motion, Experimentation, Optimism

SAGITTARIUS: Be frank when a close friend asks for your opinion. While the truth may not be what he or she wants to hear, it’s what he or she needs to hear. Your romantic life slows down this month, but don’t get discouraged. This break will give you time to relax and focus on yourself.

Capricorn (22/Dec - 19/Jan)

Determination, Dominanace, Perservering, Practical, Willful

CAPRICORN: Now’s your chance to shine at work. You’ll be given the opportunity to lead a new project; your intelligence and efficiency will shine through. Don’t be shy when it comes to meeting new people this month. Your sweet, sensitive side will endear you to someone with a lot of connections.

Magazine

Aquarius

(20/Jan - 18/Feb)

Knowledge, Humanitarian, Serious, Insightful, Duplicitous

Retched Richard

AQUARIUS: Let your practical side lead you in your decision making as the month begins. It may seem like a good idea to make an impulsive purchase, but don’t do it. Finances will be tight. A relationship moves into high gear when you realize how much you have in common with that special someone.

Pisces

(19/Feb - 20/Mar)

Fluctuation, Depth, Imagination, Reactive, Indecisive

PISCES: Slow down this month, because it will feel as if your entire world is closing in on you. A few days off of work will help you relax and time with loved ones will show you that you’re still in control of your life. Virgo and Sagittarius play important roles

26


Spring Edition

Retched Richard

Magazine

27


Retched Richard

Magazine

Spring Edition


RETCHED RICHARD MAGAZINE