The Purple Quill November 2020

Kreimer going strong

Favorable Bounces

Campus keeps growing

A Profile of one of Elder’s longest-running traditions. see Faculty Features - pg. 5

A dual report on the popular Ping-Pong Club and its stars. see Sports - pg. 8

Henry Mazza’s photo essay on Elder’s changing landscape. see Campus News- pg. 13

Published by the Students of Elder High School

November 30, 2020

Volume 89 Number 3

Despite COVID-19 restrictions, Elder presents successful Open House Jack Sheridan ‘22 Opinion Editor

As we all know by now, trying to do

pretty much anything during the COVIDera ends up being very challenging.

Whether it is planning a vacation, going to school, or even going out to eat, every part of life before the pandemic has changed drastically, with strict guidelines dictating what is seemingly every single aspect of our daily lives.

Obviously, Open House was not exempt from this. Open House is the most important night of the year for Elder’s Admissions team, an event they work tirelessly on to make sure that all visiting families and prospective students get the best possible impression of Elder that is possible. While Open House is not an easy event to plan even on a normal year, COVID only made things worse.

To get a better perspective on what it was like to do Open House during the COVID-era, I stopped into the Admissions office to talk to the people in charge of planning and running it. I was able to interview 2/3 of the members of the Admissions team (Mrs. Flaherty was not there that day). But Mr. Pieper and Mr. Hiles were happy to tell me about the 2020 Elder High School Open House.

As I stated above, COVID did not make it easy for the Admissions team to plan Open House. Wanting to get an idea of how it was difficult to plan, I asked Mr. Hiles and Mr. Pieper about the challenges that they faced.

“It was definitely harder than it ever was before. One of the things we set out to do was to keep it as authentic to the original as we’ve done in the past. Obviously each year we try to get better, this year we wanted to get better, and also couple that with a safe event,” said Mr. Hiles.

He then mentioned that the biggest change was the timing-aspect of the night, opting for scheduled entries for guests instead of the normal free-for-all that everyone is used to. Mr. Pieper added that the scheduled entries really ended up helping everyone this year and that the steady flow of tours was a major contrast to previous years, where there would be a herd of guests coming through and then

nobody for a while.

While on the subject of Open House guests, I then asked Mr. Pieper and Mr. Hiles what the turnout of families and prospective students was like this year.

Mr. Pieper mentioned that they had just been looking over the numbers, and to my surprise, the turnout ended up being pretty similar to previous years, with 158 eighth graders, around 50 seventh graders, and even some younger grade school students taking a tour of Elder that night.

“We’re extremely happy with the number of people that came to Open House this year; last year was a humongous year for Open House, and this year a solid number of families were able to come in and go through a tour safely,” Mr. Pieper said.

Keeping on the subject, Mr. Hiles explained that last year was the best year Elder has ever had with Open House, so it is tough to compare this year to last year.

“With COVID-stuff this year, I think you definitely cut off the ends, so you had people who were definitely going to Elder and said, ‘Why would we go in a crowd, when we know you’re going to Elder.’ On the other end, you had people who were either going to LaSalle or St. X, whose parents would normally say, ‘Let’s just try it out,’ who instead said, ‘We know you’re going to X, we don’t need you going tonight into a crowd of people.’ I think you lost people on either end of that, and who was left were people really trying to make a decision,” he said.

The bottom line for Mr. Hiles and Mr. Pieper was if they were happy with the final result and how Open House ultimately turned out. Mr. Hiles told me that he has received great feedback from staff members, coaches, and club moderators, all of whom felt that there was great spacing and great pacing of the crowds going through the school. “In past years it’d be like Taste of Cincinnati or Mardi Gras when you’re going through the hallways,

Sophomore Austin Bass leads a prospective family on a tour of Elder.

which looks great, but at the same time, when you have six families trying to talk to one teacher at the same, sometimes they only get one question answered instead of the three they needed. This time around, there was never a crowd in the sense that somebody couldn’t get a one-on-one with a teacher.”

He added that they always strive to have one tour guide per one family, and although that usually did not end up happening in previous years, this year it did.

“I think it was the best we’ve ever done as far as the experience for the families,” said Mr. Hiles.

Mr. Pieper informed me that the Admissions team is also getting great feedback from the families that attended Open House, who are all very pleased that the Admissions team is working hard and putting so much effort into planning events like Open House and who understand that it is not easy to organize events during a pandemic. “It’s going to end up benefiting all of Elder in the long run, I’d say,” said Mr. Pieper.

Before I ended my interview, the Admissions team made sure that the students’ work did not go unnoticed. “I mean they just did a crazy-good job of bringing energy to it, they were knowledgeable, I had so many compliments about the students walking people around; I think it was our best year for students, as well,” said Mr. Hiles.

“Those families, when they’re on a tour, they’re there with their young kids in their minds, they’re walking around with an Elder student, and they try to imagine their son, two years in the future, at Elder High School. The students make the experience happen, and that’s really what makes people want to come to school here,” Mr. Pieper said.

Although the Admissions team undeniably faced lots of challenges when it came to planning and organizing Open House this year, they still managed to pull it off. Not only were they tasked with keeping guests, students, and faculty members safe, they also had to run a completely new schedule than in previous years. With the group-effort comprised of students and other staff members, the Admissions team was able to make the 2020 Open House a successful night. They worked to make the event as enjoyable as they could in the COVID-era and ultimately, striving for the higher things.

Inside The Quill

Left: Mr. Kovacic talks to a family about campus minstry.

Above: Junior Jackson Weikel shows off his robot skills to a prospective student and his mother in the library/media center.

Opinion....................................... 2,3 Faculty Features.................... 4,5,14 Student Features............... 6,7,10,11 Sports......................................... 8,9 Campus News............................. 13 Arts & Entertainment............. 12,15 Back Page.................................... 16

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Monday November 30, 2020

Opinion

It is time for a debate Jacob Stamper ‘22 Contributing Writer

Elder’s student presidential elections are not exciting.

When we think of the United States presidential elections, exhilaration, intensity, and patriotism comes to mind. However, the Elder High School presidential elections simply do not generate the same hype and attraction that major elections do. Why? Because the student council presidential elections are not a focus in the school. We simply see posters slapped on every surface of the school, the same speeches for years on end, and a winner is declared based on popularity. It is the most important position that can be earned by a student at Elder High School, and barely anyone bats and eye or gives it a second thought.

The United States presidential elections are filled to the brim with perseverant campaigns, many speeches, polls, and, most importantly, debates. To many, presidential debates are the pinnacle point of elections. They generate all the excitement that goes into an election. For one night, the candidates are put on the spot. They are asked questions that the people want to be answered. The voters have a chance to see who the most qualified candidate is.

Therefore, I am proposing a student council presidential debate. Our current Junior co-presidents are David Gruen and William “Trey” Jansen. The debate would be no longer than half-an-hour, the same amount of time that we spend listening to their speeches.

No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to watch these two give the same speech that they have been giving for the previous two years. “I love Elder, but we could make some changes…” we hear it time and time again. The debate would have a moderator ask a few questions, and the candidates would explain why they are the better choice.

With a presGive the people what they want. Mano a mano between Jansen and Gruen. idential debate, (photoshopped by Jacob Stamper ‘22) the candidates would have to answer questions that the students want answers to. They would have to make clear their positions on certain issues. For too long, student council presidents have been elected on shallow and irrelevant criteria: popularity, empty speeches, etc.

To be clear, this is not fault of the students at Elder High School, nor the candidates themselves. We simply have not had the opportunity to truly see what our candidates want to do. A debate would not only provide excitement in a dull election process but also allow students to pick the truly qualified candidate.

For too long the students at Elder High School have not had their voices heard and concerns acknowledged by student council. With a debate, the candidates will have to think on their feet, and it will give a better representation of who they are, unlike the two-minute, memorized speeches we currently have.

The student council presidency has not been treated as an important position. Thus, the students have not taken it seriously. If the student body detached from the student council, and if the students disinterested in those who represent them, then there is no purpose for these elections. There is not purpose for student council presidents.

We, as a school, need to revitalize the significance of the student council elections. A presidential debate, an event that would put the two candidates face to face, would allow every student to make an informed decision. It would show the importance of voting for the right candidate.

If we do not care about who are leaders are, we will not care about the direction of our school.

Is Elder better switching to Google Classroom?

Shawn Wyatt ‘22

Staff Writer

This year, the decision was made at Elder to start using Google Classroom for several

aspects of school. Most teachers, at least the ones I have, utilize the site regularly. It simplifies some aspects of school but complicates others. There are several clear positives and negatives to using this site for schoolwork.

The main thing I like about Google Classroom is the simple design and how it is easy to switch between classes if you’re working on multiple assignments at once. However, I am sometimes confused by the site in trying to find what I am looking for. This mostly happens when I am scrolling through all the assignments for a class, and something is not showing up, so I don’t know I have to do it.

This has unfortunately caused me to miss several assignments in a few classes. Of course, this could just be my own irresponsibility, but I think some of it has to do with the way the site is set up. When everything was on the OnCampus site last year, every assignment was laid out in a weekly calendar format.

I think Google Classroom would benefit from a calendar layout like this that has every assignment for the week laid out. I think it would also benefit from a way to send messages to a teacher if you have a question. One factor that I think makes OnCampus better than Google Classroom is the ability to send a message to a teacher. Although I rarely use it, I like having the option just in case something goes wrong.

Google Classroom’s meet feature is another big positive to using the site. I think this feature played a big part of why we switched to Google. Zoom, the software that we used last year during quarantine, has been experiencing several problems, such as hacking and unwanted people crashing virtual meetings. Along with this, other companies started to make their own concepts for a way to host online meetings.

This is, in my opinion, much better than using Zoom for online classes. Google Meet is easier for everyone to use, and it is my favorite part of using Google Classroom.

Compared to Zoom, it is easier to navigate, although students cannot change their name or the background. I think teachers and students benefit from using this feature of Google Classroom.

Overall, while I don’t like using Google Classroom as much as using OnCampus, I understand why the switch was made. I also think Elder is benefitting from using this site compared to others that we could have chosen instead.

Kevin Long ‘21

Staff Writer

I don’t know about you, but these days I always seem to be busy. Whether it be with

schoolwork, sports, or extracurricular activities, there is always something new on my plate. This busyness frequently leaves me wondering, is all this busyness good for me?

On the rare occasions when I have a break or extra time to work on something, I feel less productive and am more inclined to just push it off until later. When I am busy and know that I have no time to spare, I am able to push through the distractions and get everything done. When I know I have nothing going on I feel justified in pushing it off until later because I still have plenty of time. This eventually leads to procrastination and a last minute rush of busyness and productivity to get everything done on time. Most people would consider this a bad habit; however, I feel better when I am productive and procrastinating forces me to be productive.

Forget for the moment how busyness does or does not make you feel, a scientific study performed in 2016 at the University of Texas, found that when tested, adults who considered themselves to have a more busy lifestyle had a significantly higher cognition level than those with a more laid back, easy-going, lifestyle. This result was further backed up when they tested the same group of people four years later and the gap had only widened over time.

With the observation from this study we can safely conclude that busyness makes you more mentally acute, especially as you age.

So, you may wonder, does that mean that I need to focus on staying busy all the time to keep healthy as I age? The answer is that, while staying busy all the time may be good for your mental acuity, it is not necessarily the best for your long term mental or physical

The Purple Quill

The Purple Quill is published nine times per academic year by the students enrolled in the Journalism class at Elder High School. Content is determined by the staff and does not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of Elder High School’s faculty, administration or student body. Signed editorials and columns reflect the views of the writer. Letters to the editor and guest commentaries are encouraged and must be signed, although anonymity can be granted on a case by case basis. The staff reviews letters to the editor, advertising and guest commentaries and reserves the right to edit and refuse material. Reasons can include length, clarity, libel, obscenity, material disruption of the educational process at Elder High School or violation of copyright laws.

“Give students the freedom of expression and soon everyone will want it.”

Co-Editors in Chief: Henry Mazza ‘21, Gus Schlomer ‘21 Faculty Adviser Mr. Gary Rogers

Faculty Adviser Emeritus Mr. Edward Menkhaus ‘63

Features Editor Gus Middendorf ‘21

Opinion Editor Jack Sheridan ‘22

Graphics Editor Matthew Walter ‘21

Video Editor Adam Duwel ‘21

Staff Writers Brandon Eckstein ‘21 Phillip Hoffman ‘22 Joshua Huff ‘22 Jacob James ‘21 Kevin Long ‘21 Lukas Marlman ‘21 Mitchell Meyer ‘21 Seth Trischler ‘22 Brandon Vetter ‘21 Shawn Wyatt ‘22

Monday November 30, 2020

Opinion 3

What’s the deal with AP Tests? Vending machines, where you at?

Gus Middendorf ‘21 Features Editor

Henry Mazza ‘21 Co-Editor in Chief

school life, one of the most stressful times of the year for many students may become even worse. AP tests are usually administered on a group basis, with entire classes in a single room taking hours long tests; conditions not suitable for Corona times.

Last year, the College Board reacted by moving the platform online and having each individual student take his or her test through a computer, ultimately producing mixed results.

So, with the uncertainty in post-Spring Covid, along with the looming threat of another lockdown, many students wonder what will happen with their precious college credits?

The 2020 AP tests of April and June were not like any before them. Students, at the time still under strict quarantine, were forced to forgo the standard pencil and bubble sheet in favor of their keyboards. Senior Jack Tucker, one of few current students to remember taking a physical AP test, said the change was “like bizarro world,” adding he “never expected it to come to what it did.” Tucker explains that “while you’re still being tested on the same material, the difference is astounding. The tone, the preparation, the nerves feel completely different when it’s just you and your laptop.”

Unlike Jack, most student’s first tests were with the online format and might be again this year. To someone like Matthew Telscher ‘21, who took the AP United States History test online, it’s all he knows.

“My experience with the online testing was not bad, just kind of awkward. I was prepared enough by Mr. Eisele for the content; however, I was worried that the structure of the test would be a barrier. Luckily, I pulled out a victory when I hit that submit button.”

Some found the online format to be beneficial, such as Senior Ben Kean, who, without even taking the class as an AP, managed to pass the AP Latin exam, citing the test’s being online as help.

Not every student benefited from the ramshackle system, though.

Andrew Mueller ’21 faced what some call a tragedy during his AP Spanish test: “So I finished the main portion, right, and go on to the oral part where I have to speak Spanish words into my iPhone. In the middle of this phone section, I got a FaceTime call, shutting down my test and forfeiting my progress. It was tough. I did not feel very bueno that day.” He thankfully was able to qualify for a retake a few weeks later, but the incident still stung.

After almost six months since the last tests, students and teachers begin to start thinking about upcoming tests. As of November, the College Board website states “AP will support in-school testing in 2021 because administering exams in schools maximizes access and opportunity, and we’ll provide a contingency testing option — that contains full course content — if school buildings close for safety concerns.” This proves optimistic for in-person testing, but many teachers and students are not convinced this will stay for much longer.

In reality, no one actually has a clue on whether AP exams will be held in school or not. Some feel the upcoming Spring will bring less cases through schools, whereas others think the worst is still to come. However, only time will tell, and the truth will most likely be somewhere in the middle: possibly online tests in school or bubble sheets mailed to individual houses. Whatever happens, it’s important to remember to not blow these tests off because they’re coming faster than you think.

Although the last year itself has felt like four years, can we search back into our memory’s museum to remember the glorious days of 2017? Back when Danny Neiman was quarterback and Michael Bitner was getting his first runs in. Back when we were so hot the fire department had to cool us off in the stands at the 95-degree St. Ed’s game.

Four years ago, when the Lou Langen twang resonated softly through the hallways, and the days of the borderline barstool level Purple Quill Podcast broke the SoundCloud barrier. For the seniors, there was a freshman dance that probably raised the roof of the cafeteria a few inches. Back when Mr. Quatman was still learning multiplication tables and Mr. Auer made us feel really good about ourselves during the Panther Pauses that were lowkey really nice. Four years ago, seems like a long time ago, but in all honesty, how long ago does the Clinton v Trump bash feel? To me, not even close to almost 1,500 days.

In the last four years, a lot has changed, but who cares? We get it, times change. People change, environments change, media changes and indeed the school has changed, too.

One change though that has a lot of people down, including myself, is the vending machines. My freshman year, I will never forget my first day of school because I learned I got to spend my money at will on a virtual gold mine. What I am talking about were the vending machines in all of their glory.

Even during a full lunch, the vending machines were still a wild card for a snack to take to fifth period. Yet, not all machines were created equal even though they were created in God’s image. The top vending machines were, in my opinion, the basement level and the Schaper Center machines. Not only was it the selection that was stellar day in and day out, but it was also the sneakability. All the time.

The basement vending machine was the ultimate machine for privacy and workability, despite its location.

The basement provided a source of privacy that gave students time to mull over what really was the best choice for next class. We thought over how loud the wrapper was, how the loud the crunch was, how loud the smell was, and most of all how savory or sour was the snack going to be. The basement offered classics such as Swedish Fish, Jolly Rancher Chews, Sour Patch Kids, Skittles, Hot Cheetos, Cinnamon Rolls and the classics of chocolate and chips, and that was a normal size. Honorable mention has to go to the fat boys in the cafeteria. There you had all of the classics from downstairs, but also more filling snacks so it was fitting that they were in the cafeteria.

The other fantastic vending machine was in the Schaper Center.

This one was infamous. What made it so valuable was the location in relation to what students were doing at the time. Anytime you were in the Schaper Center hallway, something was going down.

Whether it be teachers cracking down on students or just needing a break from chorus, it was a perfect recipe for spending a dollar on the sweet tooth. I know I spent way too much money on the machine, but other students, too, loved to stop at the corner for a dollar.

I was able to get Mark Sievers’s take on the great vending machine. Here is what he said: “The freshman year to sophomore year vending machines were unmatched, especially the Schaper Center machine next to the music room. The days I spent waiting in line to get some Sour Patch Kids or Shockers are some of the best memories I had freshman year.

“Getting candy before freshman chorus was the perfect time right before lunch to have a snack. There is no real argument on the best candy because, it is what it is, Sour Patch Kids. But, having to wait in line and hoping to get the snack you wanted to having nobody get anything out of the vending machine due to inflation of prices and the removal of top tier candy, the vending machines will never be the same.”

This is a flaming take that cannot be argued with. The Schaper Center machine was different since the snack was easily sneaked into and enjoyed at a slow rate in the back of your next class.

Hopefully, the return the normalcy also includes the re-upgrading of the legendary vending machines that we have come to love and now to be disappointed by.

Sievers also added, “Now, we all know the old vending machines were phenomenal, and may we never forget the old lunches...” But that is a story for another time.

As Covid-19 and its repercussions affect

health. One key component, and frequent side-effect of busyness is stress. Although this study did not look at how stress affects your mental and physical health there have been numerous studies over the years that have examined how stress can have negative effects on your health.

Altogether, you need to find and strike a healthy balance between busyness and leisure. Where you draw that line between overworking yourself and laziness is ultimately up to you and oftentimes varies greatly depending on the person. For me, I find it easiest to be productive and feel good about myself when I am busy; however, for some people my level of busyness may be too much or even too little. It truly is a Goldilocks situation, and you will have to experiment to find the perfect balance of busyness in your own life.

Can anyone here remember what Elder looked like four years ago?

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Faculty Features

Elder’s newest: Mr. Murray Dwertman Adam W. Duwel ‘21 Video Editor

Elder’s Art Department has a new teacher this school year. Mr. Dwertman will be the one asked to fill the shoes of Mrs. Plagge after her years of dedication to the Elder Art Department. Mr. Dwertman was at Mercy High School for five years and did not go to the new Mercy McAuley after the merge of the two west side all girl catholic schools. I learned very quickly that Mr. Dwertman was not only passionate about teaching art to students but also very passionate about rebuilding and rehabbing houses.

“I really enjoy Victorian and pre 1900s, I just finished up a Victorian in Covington just last week,” said Mr. Dwertman who is a teacher who remodels houses. “I am a half-time teacher here at Elder, I am here on Even Bell days only and I am working on my housing business on Odd Bell Days,” said Mr. Dwertman.

Mr. Dwertman, a Covington Catholic grad, has plenty of connections to Elder and the west side. Many of Mr. Dwertman’s cousins have gone to Elder. During Open House this year Mr. Dwertman’s distant cousin Matt Timmerman was visiting with his son who Mr. Dwertman had not seen in years.

Art has been a cornerstone here at Elder that is built upon tradition and creativity. Now, Mr. Dwertman has the keys the fundamental classes of the art department. This year with all the Covid restrictions in place, “It’s a real challenge.

Art is physical and it involves space and collaboration.”

Keeping the energy during a project to a minimum can be hard but also goes to show just how passionate the Elder Art Students are about what they do. “My relationship with Mr. Buetsche and our understanding of art and what it means to educate students. I think that’s where I have a deep appreciation to stepping through that door.” Mr. Dwertman and Mr. Buetsche both have a strong passion for teaching kids the wonderful field of art.

Mr. Dwertman has a deep passion for environmental art, or art that is in nature. This is

part of why he enjoys rehabbing Victorian homes to their former glory. Mr. Dwertman brought up his favorite environmental artist, James Turrell. Mr. Dwertman talked in great detail about one of Turrell’s biggest and most famous projects.

“Turrell is a light-based artist. He frames up the celestial sky and the sky itself and turns the sky into pure colors so that we can interpret what we’re actually viewing and taking for granted on a daily basis.” Mr. Dwertman went on about Turrell purchasing a crater out west in the 70s and has put over 75 million dollars into it, the Roden Crater.

“The Roden Crater can be a pilgrimage type site where you walk through these spaces that are actually dug into the middle of this crater that have openings to the sky. The stars are lined up in these spots in the crater for centuries to come.”

Turrell has already donated the site to the Dia Foundation that ensures the preservation of sites around the world. Turrell took a simple crater in the middle of the desert and turned it into a beautiful pilgrimage site. The site is designed to become a deeper understanding of the world and things beyond just this world.

Like Turrell, the Art Department’s goal here at Elder is to challenge students to look at objects and paintings on a deeper level. Why was it painted this way?

What message is the artist trying to show?

What do you see out of the artwork? In today’s world we don’t slow down and appreciate all the good and beautiful things around us. The art department gives students an opportunity to look at the deeper meaning of the world.

Monday November 30, 2020

55 years of Elder through the eyes of Mr. Kreimer Jack Sheridan ‘22 Opinion Editor

When Mr. Kreimer stepped through the

doors of Elder High School, as a freshman, in the fall of 1957, Dwight Eisenhower was only months into his second term as the 34th President of the United States. In 1966, he decided to return to his alma mater, no longer as a student but as a teacher, and in 2020, he is still going strong.

As you can see, Mr. Kreimer has had an opportunity to see Elder in a totally different way than just about anyone else.

Not only has he seen Elder change, but he has been also been able to see the world change and evolve for over half a century, bringing Elder along with it.

I thought it would be a great idea to get Mr. Kreimer’s input about this topic, so I stopped by his room to interview him about his time at Elder, as well as how the school has changed over the years.

My first question for Mr. Kreimer revolved around what it is like to see Elder change so much during his tenure here. It was difficult for him to give me an answer, simply because the world has changed drastically over the past half-century. He explained to me that one of the biggest ways he has seen Elder change is the implementation of technology. However, while the methods of learning and ways of life have evolved since the 60s, he told me that although the times have changed, he does not think the kids have.

Speaking of Elder students, Mr.

Monday November 30, 2020

Mr. Kreimer in his classroom today.

Kreimer has taught a lot of them over the years. However, none of them have lived the same lives or had the same dreams, so Mr. Kreimer has had the opportunity to see lots of guys, all with differing dreams and hopes for the future, become successful after they graduate. When asked about what it is like to see this over the years, Mr. Kreimer answered, “I think it’s rewarding. One of the biggest joys of teaching is knowing you affected someone’s life; you helped them reach that goal.”

Mr. Kreimer has also been able to experience countless great memories during his time at Elder. Whether it was winning state championships, seeing students graduate and become successful, or witness Elder’s campus change drastically over the years, Mr. Kreimer was here to see it all.

I asked what he would consider to be his favorite memory over the past 55 years. Telling me that he has countless favorite memories, Mr. Kreimer said he could not pick out just one. Sports-wise, he said it would have to have to be those really close games that Elder ends up win-

Faculty Features 5 ning. Mr. Kreimer summed it up perfectly with the following, “To me, it’s like living a dream. You kids enjoy high school for four years, I’ve been able to enjoy high school for 55 years.”

Obviously, Mr. Kreimer has taught and gotten to know thousands of students over the years. I decided to end my interview with him by asking not what he has taught the kids but what they have taught him over the years. “I think they taught me what real happiness is. They keep me challenged; they keep me a little more intuned with the world than I would be if I was sitting at home. But I think more than anything they taught me what happiness really means, what really brings it about, what’s really important in life.”

After 55 years and counting at Elder, Mr. Kreimer is still going strong. Although not everyone who goes through Elder will get the chance to take one of Mr. Kreimer’s classes, he will still take the time to talk to you and get to know you.

We can all learn a lot from Mr. Kreimer, whether you are a student or staff member. He embodies and shares many great qualities including generosity, hard work, and most importantly, kindness.

Mr. Kreimer, as a senior in 1961 (left) and in 1989 as a teacher (right).

Do you really know Mr. Kreimer?

Seth Trischler ‘22 Staff Writer

Chances are if you go to Elder, you probably have at least heard of the infamous Mr.

Kreimer. He is one of the many pieces that keep Elder together, and without him, Elder would not be the same. I feel like if you attend Elder, Mr. Kreimer is someone worth getting to know. He is a part of Elder and Elder is a part of him.

Mr. Kreimer grew up going to St. Als on Bridgetown and eventually came to Elder, graduating in the famous class of 1961. Contrary to popular belief, he did not like school very much. I know, weird, considering he is a teacher.

Mr. Kreimer is not just a teacher, as some may know. He is also a pharmacist. He first came across pharmacy when his brother became one, and he decided to follow his footsteps at the University of Cincinnati. After several years, he knew that was not his primary calling and decided to try teaching. He then began his career of 55 years of teaching and counting.

I also got the chance to ask Mr. Kreimer about his very coveted annual Wyoming trip. Every year, Mr. Kreimer and a couple of other teachers take groups of students to Wyoming to disconnect and have a life changing experience. There are no phones, and it is just you, your classmates, and the mountains. I got to ask him why he enjoys doing it so much, and he told me, “I enjoy it because you see kids changing and growing and it is something they will never forget.”

I unfortunately did not get to go on it this past summer due to Covid, but I do know how life changing it is. My brother, Kyle Trischler class of ‘19, told me it was an eye opener for him and helped him change for the better. He also told me that trip was where he created multiple inseparable bonds with some of his classmates because of what they went through together.

If you have had Mr. Kreimer for a class before, you will know that he is an Oreo fanatic. I asked him why he loves them so much and he responded, “Why not? Because it is the food of the gods.” I mean, let us be real, who does not like Oreos. He told me they must be the chocolate ones and never the golden. He might be more famous for the way he eats them, though. Mr. Kreimer says the best way to eat an Oreo is to put the cookie in your mouth, and then put some milk and swirl it up. I personally dunk mine, but Mr. Kreimer says he does not like that technique because the cookie gets in the milk and adds a mud like texture to the bottom of the glass.

Mr. Kreimer teaches because he feels like it was his calling, but more importantly because it is incredibly rewarding to him. I asked him when does he plan on ending his teacher career, and told me he will continue to teach as long as he can, until he reaches the point where he knows it is time to stop. He said that everyone has that point where they need to stop, whether it be an old baseball player or an old teacher. They can just feel it and hopefully he does not get that feeling anytime soon.

If you ever have time, make sure to stop by room 316 and say hi to Mr. Kreimer.

Who knows, maybe you might even get an Oreo.

6

How wrestling changed one Panther’s life Lukas Marlman ‘21 Staff Writer

Elder High School has always stated that we are a student-athlete school and not an athlete-student school. Although we all have heard this saying an infinite amount of times, we will look into the life of Kody Kaimann and figure out if he lives up to these expectations, and just how his wrestling career came about.

Many may already know Kody either from wrestling or just seeing his ugly face in the halls, but not many know how Kody lives an “exotic” life inside of the walls of Elder. Being 5’-9” and weighing in at a buck 50 and carrying himself like a fly in water, Kody walks through the halls of Elder like he wants to own it. Maybe he should, maybe he shouldn’t, but one thing is for certain, he’ll wrestle you until you submit for it. This man is an elite breed of human that thinks and plans his route of attack, this is proven by his wrestling abilities.

Kody started thinking of wrestling when he was just an infant baby. Starting at the age of two months, he knew that he was going to get up on the state finalist wall in the wrestling/volleyball gym.

While Kody might say that the above statement isn’t fully true, we all know it is to an extent. Kody was introduced to wrestling his freshman year of high school, so a little over 3½ years ago.

Monday November 30, 2020

Student Features

Not knowing what he would have to go through and time he would have to put in, Kody was ready and excited to start a new chapter in his life.

Following his eighth-grade year, Kody hoped to continue his basketball career in high school, but being rejected after the first tryout, he was looking for other things to be a part of while here at Elder. This is when wrestling signups became available, sparking a new interest.

Kody mentioned, “My cousins from Saint Louis were wrestlers and one of them placed fourth in the state of Missouri. So, I thought I might as well try it, and now it’s one of my favorite things to do.”

For the time that I’ve known Kody, it’s hard to think he wasn’t a wrestler for longer. Kody said, “Wrestling is my life, and it has been ever since sophomore year.” Kody explained to me that at first getting the hang of the sport wasn’t easy and still learning how to do it made things much harder. Kody’s mentality is shocking to me; having the strength to go through the lifts, runs, and conditioning takes a strong mindset. However, Kody still has some of those “typical” wrestler beliefs. This might be why he carries himself and looks the way he does as well.

After working hard and understanding the sport much more, he was able to start his first varsity match as a sophomore at 132, (weight class) but mainly wrestled JV. But thanks to an Elder alumni of 2020

Kody preparing to give a speech to anyone who will listen.

Kody has has seen some new growth.

Kody stated, “During the summer an Elder wrestling alum who graduated in 2020, Seth Lambers, saw something in me that I didn’t see. He took me all over the place to train me to get better at wrestling.” The next season was a big one for Kody. As a junior, he started every varsity match at 132, but although he didn’t have the season he had hoped for he, saw that he was still doing a lot better.

In a statement from Kody he said, “The hardest part about wrestling isn’t the practices, the weight cutting, or the amount of time needed, but the dedication

needed for the sport.” He added, “I realize that to be good in the sport of wrestling you have to be dedicated. You can’t take days off and you can’t half a** it. You have to be dedicated to every aspect of the sport. I think that dedication is the hardest part because if you’re not dedicated, then it’s all for naught,” exclaimed Kody.

School is a requirement that kids and adults have to attend throughout the first half of their lives, but to early Kody he didn’t see this a big thing. Although one motto of our school is student-athlete, Kody never understood this fully, saying, “I was never really a great student in school and I had mediocre grades, never had honors, never got anything worth celebrating.” Furthermore, he said, “I thought school was secondary to a lot of things and I didn’t really try hard.” While Kody isn’t the only student who had a mindset like this, he is one who realized it and then applied himself in his academic studies.

After talking with colleges, he said that he realized that school and grades come first. He said, “I got first honors for my first quarter of my senior year, my first time ever getting honors in high school.”

Now if this doesn’t show the level of application and maturity then what will?

Kody Kaimann is truly an Elder man because of his levels of maturity, application, and motivation. Having to keep up with grades is one thing, but also having to keep up with the exhausting sport of wrestling, it doesn’t make anything easy.

If you see Kody in the halls of Elder just be forewarned he might just put you in a headlock or pin you until you submit.

Elder reaches out to the community with turkey fry Gus Schlomer ‘21 Co-Editor in Chief

Annually, Elder High School steps up to

help the needy during the holidays. From the food and toy drive in December to the topic of this article, the yearly turkey fry in mid-November.

The Elder turkey fry started in 2007 and it is the idea of a small group of guys, Doug Jaeger and Tom Aug. There was a connection made with Holy Family Food Pantry that Elder could help during a time of need in the Thanksgiving season.

“The Elder turkey fry is a spiritual booster event that happens the Wednesday before Thanksgiving,” said Campus Minister Mr. Al Kovacic. Fathers and their sons get together in the parking lot by the grotto and the goal is to help 60 families that are in need of help to have a Thanksgiving celebration.

Mr. Kovacic said that in addition to the turkeys that are fried, students also prepare stuffing, green beans, and other veggies. Usually there are fresh baked

pies, but due to COVID, they will most likely have to bring them in this year.

Students help out the Price Hill community and the family names are given to Elder from Holy Family Food Pantry.

The Turkeys are donated to Elder from Bridgetown Finer Meats and are fried by the boosters club members. Pies are made by the students and all kits are delivered by fathers and sons. Paul Weil of Rally’s donates the cooking oil to fry the turkey’s and LaRosas also make a few donations as well.

I talked to religion teacher Mr. Scott Schaerer about the upcoming turkey fry and his experience. “The turkey fry is a really cool thing we do here at Elder and I was glad I was able to experience it with one of my sons. We ended up with three kits and delivered them around houses in the Price Hill area.” Mr. Schaerer said, it is just like the food and toy drive during Christmas. It gives you the same feeling because when you are giving someone something that they truly need in value,

it is cool, and it makes both parties feel good.

Freshman religion classes have been donating the canned goods like green beans, corn and stuffing for the last few weeks and the items will be part of the kit that each family will receive Dr. Tucker has been volunteering with the Spiritual Boosters club for a while now, frying turkeys as he said he has experience from previous cooking on his own time.

“To me, the best part of the turkey fry is the demonstration of the Elder Community. Of the people that work the event, none of us could help 60 families on our

Elder father and son volunteers along with Mr. Schaerer, bundle up turkeys and other food to give families in need a much needed meal.

own but with each of us doing what we can with what we have, we get to make a pretty big impact on a lot of families,” said Dr. Patrick Tucker, Academic Dean.

Monday November 30, 2020

Student Features 7

Elder’s mega-hockey fan: Max Herms Adam W. Duwel ‘21 Video Editor

Elder has just about as many student

interests as there are students. And Elder student has a serious passion about the game of hockey, senior Max Herms.

Herms has been playing hockey since freshman year. Herms was not always interested in the game until an Elder hockey player took him to a game in eighth grade.

Colin Teal was the one that got Herms interested in playing hockey.

“Teal took me to a game at Miami University, they got smoked in all honesty, but it was fun watching,” says Herms.

Herm’s favorite team in the National Hockey Association is the Philadelphia Flyers. “I get a lot of hate for it,” says Herms.

Originally it was because of their mascot, Gritty. Gritty was added to the Philadelphia Flyers mascot roster before the 2018 NHL season. Gritty is know for his goofy antics during games and all-around Philadelphia. If you have not checked out Gritty, I highly recommend it. “The Flyers don’t have star player; they don’t have a Sidney Crosby or a Wayne Gretzky… they are almost like a ragtag bunch.” Herm’s favorite player on the Flyers is 27-year-old Sean Couturier from Notre Dame. Couturier was selected with the eighth overall pick in the 2011 draft by the Flyers.

The Elder Hockey program is gearing up for another year on the ice. Herms has been excited to get the season going with this year being his senior year. But with COVID-19, everything was up in the air.

Most teams didn’t do a whole lot of team activities that they would normally do be-

cause of the Governor’s orders on slowing the spread of COVID-19.

Herms has enjoyed playing for the hockey team and has gotten better has a player each year. “I get to know a lot of freshmen and sophomores that I wouldn’t have known if it wasn’t for Elder hockey,” says Herms. The Elder hockey team is just a fielding a varsity team this year. There are around 16 guys on the team from all four grade levels. This gives the freshman and sophomores a chance to mix with the juniors and seniors in a way that wouldn’t be possible with a JV team.

Herms has played a lot of games over four years for the Ice Panthers but he still remembers his first goal.

“I somehow threw it at the net and the guy wasn’t paying attention and it went in.

It was a very lucky goal. I still remember going down the ice banging my stick like a barbarian.”

I would have loved to have seen this in person, because that feels like a scene from Miracle on Ice. Max Herms is truly a mega hockey star.

The Elder hockey team starts their campaign on Sunday November 22 on the road as they face Kettering Alter.

All the players that I have talked to are feeling optimistic about the season.

Let’s hope for a full season for all winter sports teams.

Polar Panthers ramp up Josh Huff ‘22 Staff Writer

I think we can all agree that winter is

an especially dreary time. It’s cold, it’s wet, and the sight of dried salt and black snow on the side of the road is especially disconcerting. Slap the fact that we are living during a pandemic and that just adds a whole new layer to it. Even still, the Polar Panthers, Elder’s most active club, gets at it every Monday through Friday.

Anybody can go out and run a few miles, but running in the winter, well, that takes grit. Polar Panthers is not just for the scrawny, noodle armed guys of the cross country team though, Polar Panthers is for everyone.

I think that it is easy for people to be intimidated by the distances that are offered at Polar Panthers. While some of the longer runs are pretty daunting, shorter routes are offered for just the casual runner as well. Typically, the long route will be no longer than ten miles, and the shortest route is around three. This gives even a running novice a good workout, but still the ability to grow as a runner, and graduate to longer distances and faster speeds.

Another great aspect of Polar Panthers is that everyone there respects where other

runners are in their training. Whether, you are running ten miles a day, or three, the important thing is that you are there putting in the work.

Now, I won’t lie. Sometimes running in what feels like -20 degree weather is just terrible. Your hands feel like they are pretty much non-existent, and the threat of looming black ice is always prevalent.

On the colder days, you pretty much just feel like you are breathing through an iron lung. Even still, the benefits of running with the Panthers far outweigh the cons. For one, even just running three to four miles a day will get you into the best shape of your life. Polar Panthers is also a great opportunity for freshman to meet new people, and get involved.

For track guys, Polar Panthers is a fantastic way to be prepared for the upcoming spring season. It’s easy to lose training over the winter, because there is no motivation to go out and run. However, if you want the spring track season to turn out in your favor, running polar panthers is the way to go.

My point is this - do not be intimidated by the distance, and try not to view running as a punishment. Running with the Polar Panthers might just change your mind.

8

Sports

Taking a deep plunge into Elder Diving Matthew Walter ‘21 Graphics Editor

Name the first Elder sport that comes

to your head. Chances are the sport that came to mind is football, basketball, or baseball. Regardless of whether you thought of one of the three sports listed, one fact remains: you almost certainly did not name Elder Diving.

Although not one of Elder’s powerhouse programs, Elder Diving is an often-overlooked staple of Elder winter sports. Even the official Elder Swimming & Diving Twitter account seems to forget that Diving exists. Because of this, I believe that it is time to finally show some love to Elder’s most underappreciated sport.

First, how does diving even work?

How does jumping off a diving board translate into competition. Diving expert Jacob Vollmer describes it.

“They call your dive and then they read off how many flips and twists and the position you do it in, and the score is based on the execution.” “The average [score],” added rising star Nick Stiens, “was around five or six.” When asked about the elusive perfect score, Vollmer said, “I’ve never seen a ten.”

To do well, our divers need to be expert athletes and be able to master several diving positions.

They have to be ready to react on a dime and exercise immense control over their bodies.

Diving is no joke. Diving is not cut out for everybody.

You may be wondering, who are these incredibly talented and athletic classmates? What a great question. Senior diver Jacob Vollmer said that the star divers are “Me, Nathan [Evans], and Nick Stiens.

We were the three that qualified for the tournament.” He quickly added, “I want to include Xavier [Hicks], but he didn’t have 11 dives. Take Xavier off the list.”

After just a “satisfactory” experience last year, Vollmer looks to take the next step toward diving perfection this season.

Ping Pong Club All-Stars Mitchell Meyer’21 Staff Writer

Ping Pong Club has received an immense amount of popularity over

the past couple of months. Club presidents, Josh Fieger and Evan Rickett, have advertised their Friday club quite well. In honor of the emergence of this club, I wanted to come out with a top five ranking of the Ping Pong Club’s all stars.

#5: Drew Wiesman

Long and Lanky, Wise Guy, is a top-notch ping pong player. He uses his long arms to not let any balls fly past him. Drew is known for smacking balls, being a volleyball superstar. His paddle skills reflect this. He’s got quick reflexes, and he knows what type of hits will get past his opponents. Sophomore Jake Westerkamp has said, “I’ve never faced a harder opponent than Drew. He really is an expert.”

#4: Albert Kovacic

Co-Club President Evan Rickett faced Mr. Kovacic in a ping pong match. He got smacked.

“Anything I put over the net, Mr. Kovacic would send right back at me. It was impossible to beat him,” is what the junior said. Being in class with Mr. Kovacic, he’s told us a few stories of his ping pong days. He plays a lot still, playing against his kids. He would battle his dad all the time back when he was a kid. So obviously Mr. Kovacic is a stud when it comes to ping pong.

#3: Adam Kent

Tennis star Adam Kent’s skills on the courts correlate to the paddles. People have argued that he really should be number one on this list, and I can see why. Kent works his butt off in the classroom and on the stage, but not only there.

He would put his life on the line for any ping pong ball.

His precision with his volleys is phenomenal. We all love Adam’s pipes, but his ping pong skills are just as good.

#2: Kyle Dressman

A 4-sport athlete at Elder, Kyle Dressman exemplifies all these skills in his ping pong games. His track, basketball, baseball, and soccer skills give Dressman the upper hand in his battles, however, Kyle said his biggest influence is his father. “My dad’s incredible at ping pong. I think what helps me the most is pushing myself to be just as good as him.” Every Friday, Kyle is a feared player to play against, personally, he beat me 21- 8. He embarrassed me, showing his incredible status as an Elder Ping Pong Star.

#1: Joseph Pieper

Coach Peep is a legend in the Elder ping pong community. As a moderator of the club, he is a mentor to all ping pong novices. “Mr. Pieper taught me many different tips and tricks to further my ping pong career,” is what Josh Fieger said about the ping pong master. I watched him in his battle against Kyle Dressman, which was the match of the century.

I felt as if I was watching professional ping pong take place.

Ping Pong Pieper emerged victorious, solidifying his GOAT status in Elder’s ping pong history.

Refusing to look back, he says, “I don’t remember any [of my past scores].” Hicks expressed similar sentiment, saying he last season “was disappointing. I wasn’t able to get those 11 dives in.” However, he was hopeful for the upcoming season.

Unfortunately for Vollmer and Hicks, the rest of the team around them will be very different this year. Out with a torn ACL, sophomore sensation Nick Stiens will miss the entire season. Similarly, Nathan Evans has opted out of the season.

The team around them isn’t the only aspect of the season that will change. “We don’t know if we will even have any meets. With corona, everything changed,” explained a concerned Vollmer. Because of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, no matchups or tournaments have been officially announced, as of yet.

However, the team remains hopeful. “We’ll

Monday November 30, 2020 Left: Jacob Vollmer has gone off the deep end.

Below: Nick Steins works on his entry. (taken from cincinnati.com)

definitely have a season. Since we’re practicing, we’ll have a season,” Stiens said. Although this season will definitely look different - the team will be practicing at NKU instead of UC - the team remains hopeful that they will improve and do well.

“I think we’ll do better than we did last year,” Stiens said; a sentiment that both Vollmer and Hicks echoed.

Finally, and most importantly, what are the Elder divers’ opinions on speedos?

Hicks and Vollmer preferred what they described as “the long speedo type thing” and “kind of a hybrid,” respectively. Stiens voiced the opposite opinion: “100% speedo.”

Despite their differing opinions on speedos, all the divers can agree on one issue: they are all looking forward to the Elder Diving season and believe they are ready to make a big splash.

Ping Pong Club brings back the heat Gus Middendorf ‘21 Features Editor

What’s the most popular club here at

Elder? Whatever you thought of - who cares? The real question is what club is bringing the most fire and passion to the Panther experience. The answer, undoubtedly, is the new and improved third iteration of the Elder Ping Pong Club.

On Fridays after school, business gets started. The air is full of grit as you walk into the packed Schaeper Center. Inside, you find a dedicated cohort of students from all grades, either playing, watching, or hanging out at the four hotly contested tables. Near one in the back, two seniors, both veterans of a past ping pong club from their frosh year, are competing with full gusto. These two are Kyle Dressman and Henry Mazza, undoubtedly some of the best and most experienced players in recent Elder history.

The former talks smack in the middle of his match: “Yeah, Mazza’s pretty good, but he’s honestly washed up ever since freshman year Elderfest. I’m just saying.”

In retaliation, Mazza claps back: “Ok guy, let’s see how this ends up.” After a grueling game out of 21, Dressman comes out with a three-point victory. Shocking the audience of six Panthers, the two players come in for a dap of sportsmanship and are back to laughing and talking about one of their favorite sports like buddies.

Across the room, two freshmen new to the game try their hands at the table.

They have a blast, hearing tips from moderator Mr. Pieper and upperclassmen, laughing at their own shortcomings in the game, and even surprising themselves with newfound skill. All while these fun and sometimes competitions go down, people are talking, hanging out, having a good time with tunes playing from a speaker.

What is this magic of good vibes brought on by the club? According to Co-President Josh Fieger ‘22, it all comes from the attitude. “With it being after school on Fridays, we always get a good group of guys going here every meeting.

No one’s obnoxious or trying to bring

Will Stautberg awaits the serve with the patience of a master.

down each other’s experience. It’s kind of a microcosm of what makes Elder great,” he adds. “Just guys having fun after a long day of school - simple as that.”

Fieger, along with fellow Co-President Evan Rickett ’22, were approached

by Mr. Pieper (affectionately referred to as “Coach Peep” during meetings), asked if the boys were interested in bringing back the old Ping Pong club. Fieger was excited at the idea but had some worries, as he “thought it was a great idea, but was not optimistic of a lot of guys signing up.” He admits that, at first, he forced his buddies to sign up, thinking they would be the only members for the year; however, the duo was given the perfect opportunity.

“The freshman club event in The Pit was huge for us,” Rickett eagerly explains. “Tons of guys stopped by to sign their names, and, before we knew it, we were technically one of the biggest clubs in the school.” The Co-President later admitted that they owed a lot of their success to their being right next to The Purple Quill booth, a packed station in the event.

With humble beginnings, the Ping Pong Club is a smash hit and a great time for everyone involved. So, come by and see what is so great about this club.

There are no official membership hurdles to joining, so anyone can stop by every Friday after school to Ping some Pong and have a good time with some good friends.

From the mouth of a grateful Josh Fieger, “That’s what it’s all about.”

Monday November 30, 2020

Sports 9

The loveable losers, FCC; 2020 off season Gus Schlomer ‘21 Co-Editor in Chief

As I have previously explained in my

last few monthly updates here in print about my beloved club FC Cincinnati, it has been a rough season and it has graciously come to an end.

Cincinnati, per usual, came in dead last in the league with a record of 4-4-15 (W-D-L) and have won the fan awarded “Wooden Spoon” for the accomplishment.

This is not only worst season, but with the pieces FCC had, they should have finished over the playoff line. The two new expansion clubs, Nashville SC and Inter Miami finished above the playoff line, to continue a trend of expansion teams making the playoffs in their inaugural season.

Nonetheless, FCC is abysmal to watch and has been for not only this season but last season as well. But I digress.

Within 18 hours after a 2-1 loss to Inter Miami on Decision Day, FC Cincinnati announced their roster decisions for the 2021 season concerning their current roster. The front office and GM Gerrard Nijkamp had obviously thought long and hard about these decisions while watching the team get a measly four wins all season and losing 65 percent of their games. The decisions are as followed directly from FC Cincinnati at 9:30am on November 9.

A total of 12 players have guaranteed contracts for the 2021 season: Saad Abdul-Salaam, Frankie Amaya, Alvaro Barreal, Allan Cruz, Franko Kovačević, Yuya Kubo, Jürgen Locadia, Kamohelo Mokotjo, Tom Pettersson, Beckham Sunderland, Maikel van der Werff and Brandon Vazquez.

Four players are out of contract in 2021: Andrew Gutman,* Nick Hagglund,* Spencer Richey and Przemysław Tytoń.* FC Cincinnati will exercise the 2021 contract options on three players: Zico Bailey, Ben Lundt and Haris Medunjanin.

Finally, FCC will decline the 2021

contract options on 12 players: Rashawn Dally, Siem de Jong, Mathieu Deplagne, Greg Garza, Joseph-Claude Gyau*, Bobby Edwards, Tommy McCabe, Jimmy McLaughlin, Hassan Ndam, Rey Ortiz, Caleb Stanko* and Kendall Waston. *Indicates that FCC is in contract negotiations.

As much as I would like to go through each player individually, this article would be a million words so I will hit on the more important pieces and decisions Nijkamp and the team made.

Starting with the 12 players that will be staying in 2021, there is not anything that really confused me from a fan perspective but from a business standpoint, there is no reason for FCC to keep Jürgen Locadia. Loca has had an abysmal season like the rest of the team and a fair evaluation can not be made. But from what I saw, he is not worth the eight to ten million dollars that English Premier League club Brighton Hove Albion is asking.

Locadia, in the MLS is Back tournament, missed a penalty shot that would have sent us to the next round of the tournament and missed a sitter from about 3 yards out on the goal line. He reminds me of a slightly more talented and more expensive Fanendo Adi. Like Adi, Loca contributed very little to the squad and did not show fans that he can preform in MLS and in high intensity situations. He is not worth shelling out monopoly money for when there are other, less expensive options that have proven themselves to be better and can perform and give us something we have needed and been lacking the last two seasons, Goals.

FCC is currently in contract talks with Cincinnati native and Xavier University grad Nick Hagglund to keep him around for the 2021 season and beyond. There is no doubt in my mind that Hagglund will be staying. As a Cincinnati native, he just moved his whole family back to Cincinna-

ti from Toronto and will most likely finish out his career here.

Most fans and soccer enthusiasts will say that FCC payed way too much for Hagglund and they would be correct.

In 2019, FCC paid roughly 300 thousand dollars in xAM (league currency) and gave up the number one allocation slot (used to sign players that have MLS rights still attached to them.) Together this is almost like a 600-800-thousand-dollar deal and in the first season. Hagglund did not prove his worth then, but since has stepped up big. I am looking forward to what the 2018 MLS Cup winner has in store for FC Cincinnati in 2021 pending the contract extension.

FCC will be exercising the contract options of Haris Medujanin, the club captain for the back half of the season after club captain Kendall Waston suffered an injury. I see nothing wrong with this move other than he is almost 100 years old and can barely keep up with the youthful players around the league. Haris is a vet in the league and knows it inside and out and could be a very vital piece if other pieces can be put around him. Ball distribution is decent, and he can score olympico goals (direct from the corner kick) as he has shown against the Red Bulls. Nothing wrong with this move and I am excited to see this in 2021.

Cincinnati will be declining the options of pretty much everyone that sucked this season. Kendall Waston foremost of all. As the Club captain, he led one of the

Losing starts at the top and horrid personnel decisions by GM Gerrard Nijkamp and VP Jeff Berding are haunting FCC to this day. (photo from Alex Stec; FCC website)

worst defenses in MLS history for back to back seasons. He is an absolute liability in the back line at center back and his massive frame would make him a better striker than defender. And God knows we need a new striker.

Waston can go, but one who cannot go is goalkeeper Spencer Richey. FC Cincinnati has preached about playing with domestic players and becoming a domestic home grown run club like Philadelphia and New York Red Bulls. Gerrard, you cannot save money and become a domestic style club by cutting a decent, inexpensive domestic keeper and start contract talks with a failed La Liga (Spain) and below average MLS keeper, Tyton. At the least, dropping Tyton will save an international roster spot (valuable) and will save around 300 thousand a season. Richey has some youth in him. At 28 years old, he is in his prime for a keeper and Tyton will be 34 at the beginning of the 2021 campaign.

In my mind this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever adding that you just signed a home grown, domestic goalkeeper in Beckham Sunderland.

There is still a lot to be done this off season and this is just the start. I do not have enough space to describe my absolute sorrow and pain for Jimmy McLaughlin being dropped after five years of service to the club.

Tune in next month for more updates on your loveable losers, FC Cincinnati

College basketball is finally back Jake James ‘21 Staff Writer

On March 12, 2020, March Madness

was cancelled due to the growing coronavirus. This broke the hearts of many college basketball fans because March Madness is the most important part of the season and it determines what team is the best in the NCAA. On September 22, 2020, NCAA Division 1 announced basketball will be played this season.

The season will officially start on November 25, 2020, with no scrimmages, the regular season only having 27 games, and every team has to play at least 13 games to be eligible for the tournament. With the season starting around the corner let us see who the best teams in college basketball are right now.

#5 Iowa Hawkeyes

This Iowa team is something to watch. With senior guard Jordan Bohannon coming back after a hip injury, and the 6’-9” redshirt freshman Patrick McCaffery who is looking to become the player of the year. With the huge news of their star player, Luke Garza, coming back for another year, this team has a serious chance of winning March Madness.

The Hawkeyes can play very solid offense, but they

need to fix some issues to get to the next level. Their best defender is All-American Garza and that is about it. They need a solid defense to get over the top.

#4 Virginia Cavaliers

Coach Tony Bennett and the Cavaliers are ready to get back on that court.

They were on an 8-game winning streak before Covid-19 shut everything down.

Players like Kihei Clark and Marquette transfer Sam Hauser having been looking spectacular in camp this season. They are still the reigning National Champions and hoping for a repeat. But Virginia’s defense is mediocre at best and their offense barely gets by. Hopefully, they fix this by the start of the season.

#3 Villanova Wildcats

You should have seen this coming.

Villanova has been a top ten team for the

Jared Butler of Baylor with another clutch shot.

last five years. Their offense game has been stellar with Saddiq Bey and the passing game solidified by Collin Gillespie. Getting every rebound in sight is Jeremiah Robinson-Earl. On the offense this team is deadly, on defense this team really shows its flaws. They are nearly last in the NCAA in offensive rebounds, free throw percentage, and free throws made in a game. Truly something they need to work on.

#2 Baylor Bears

The Baylor Bears have usually been known as a football school not basketball.

But this year they put themselves on the map. Led by offensive threats Jared Butler and Davion Mitchell and rebounding juggernaut Freddie Gillespie, this team could give Baylor its first national title in school history (men’s basketball). Coach Scott Drew had led this team to a monstrous season last year before Covid-19 shut down everything. Their defense is what brought them over the top as they are seventh in the country in points allowed 60.13. On the other side, their points per game is 178th which is terrible for a #2 ranked team.

Joel Ayayi of Gonzaga with an amazing layup.

#1 Gonzaga Bulldogs

This team is the best in the nation, no doubt about it. Leading in points and rebounds in Filip Petrusev and leading in the passing game is Ryan Woolridge. Led

by Coach Mark Few, this team seemingly has it all. The offense has been nothing but amazing to watch and Petrusev has not missed a beat since the start of last season. The only real bad part for this team is the schedule. Almost every NCAA Division 1 team has their official schedule and Gonzaga does not have theirs yet. Let us all hope that this season can actually happen so we can see the magic of March Madness.

10

Student Features

Monday November 30, 2020

The man behind the 36 Brandon Vetter ‘21 Staff Writer

The ACT.

Whether you have taken it, are getting to ready to take it, or have merely heard the name, we all know what it is. The dreaded standardized test that you must take for college. You have four hours, 215 questions, and one goal in mind: get as many questions as you can right.

For some, the goal might be to score above the 20’s or 30’s, but the highest score meant something entirely different for one student. Yes, I am talking about Elder’s Logan Schneider, Mr. 36.

Logan Schneider, also known as Doctor, is known for his wittiness and intelligence. This intelligence was truly put to the test when he tackled the ACT, and to be honest, the ACT never stood a chance.

This past year, Logan scored a perfect score of a 36 on his test, a very hard task to achieve. To put this into perspective, the percentage of test takers that achieve a 36 is 0.334%, and more than 1.78 million students take this test every year. Therefore, this is a pretty selective group.

How did he do it? Who is this guy?

How big is his brain? These are questions that could swimming through your head

right now. Although you might not realize it, you have probably walked past Logan in the hallways. Standing at 5’-6” and 125 pounds of pure muscle and intelligence, Logan sports one of the best afros in the school.

And how he did it, I still can not fathom. I sat right next to him the day of the test, and I didn’t get a 36 nor did I feel

“At first, I couldn’t find my score because I thought that the 36 was like a baseline or something, but after reading the paper I was like oh, that is actually my score.” the aura of intelligence radiating off him.

I asked Logan some question about his old friend the ACT, and he had some good output that many would want to hear.

I asked Logan what his reaction was to when first saw the score, and he surprisingly said, “At first, I couldn’t find my score because I thought that the 36 was like a baseline or something, but after reading the paper I was like oh, that is actually my score.” The score sheet can

Schneider meticulously taking notes in class, offering a glimpse into his intelligence.

be kind of complicated, and I don’t think many would believe the score if it said 36.

You may be wondering what he did to achieve this 36, but don’t worry because Logan was happy to give some advice. “I took the ACE the Test Prep here at Elder that is run by Mr. Currin and that helped a lot.” I also took this class, and it is an easy way to get help with people you know.

Logan had more advice for people taking the ACT. He said that the most important thing you can do is “take your time and but at the same time you have to Logan’s result sheet shows his awesome composite score of 36!

be confident in your answers so that you can move quickly.” The hardest part of the test for most is the time limit. Answering the questions is hard enough, but having to do it quickly without error is even more difficult. Logan said, “Taking too long on problems will mess you up so move quickly, so essentially you have to be confident but take your time.”

Logan will most likely be taking his talents to either UC, Ohio State, or Purdue to pursue a degree in Biomed or Biochemical research. Don’t be afraid to ask Logan some questions about the ACT or school because he would be glad to help you.

Monday November 30, 2020

Student Features 11

Klusman house nears completion For almost three years now, Elder has has

been hard at work on a new project at an abandoned house on Seton Avenue. The house had taken some damage from rain and other weather-related circumstances. What Elder now calls the “Klusman House” is truly a fixer upper.

Elder’s former Campus Minister and teacher, Mr. Roger Auer, is still in charge of the house and has been working very diligently alongside some students helping on weekends or in class. Mr. Schoenfeld’s Community Service class has been giving their time to the Klusman House a lot this year since many of the grade schools don’t want in person tutors due to Covid. Some students are even generous enough to give their time up on the weekends to work on the project.

Student Drew Busam said, “I have been working at the Klusman House ever since Freshman year, but I really started going on a more consistent basis last winter. I would visit the house almost every Saturday from 8-11. Quarantine eventually put an end to that, but I hope I can resume that schedule at some point. The community service guys most definitely have sped up the process. When I was going up by myself on Saturdays, it seemed as if little to no progress was being made.

This has definitely changed for the better, as the community service class has truly made significant process during their tenure at the house.”

With more help from Drew and the rest of the community service class, we hope to finish the Klusman House by the end of December. So far, they have painted most the walls in the house, sanded some door frames, and torn down old wallpaper.

Josh Huff ‘22 Staff Writer

Photo by Phillip Hoffman ‘22

Phillip Hoffman ‘22 Staff Writer

Looking forward to traditions Why do you look forward to thanksgiv-

Adam Vinel ‘22 paints some trim around a door frame of the Klusman House.

Elder has already lined up a family to move in as soon as we finish the house.

The next month or two will be extremely important in finishing the house. “The biggest renovations and improvements that I have noticed and taken part in at the house were the fixing of the imploded chimney, a ceiling hole as well as the cleaning out of the garage and clearing off the driveaway. Each one of these projects took a significant amount of time, but I felt a great sense of satisfaction once they were completed,” said Busam.

Although much has been done, there is still lot of strenuous work to be done.

The big picture project left is to sand the floors from all the paint dropped and mess that has been made during the rehab. The floors will absolutely need to be cleaned up. After that, all that needs to be done is install cabinets and plumbing.

The Elder community strives to give this family nothing less than a perfect home when we are finished. We all look forward to seeing the final product becomes one doozy of a house!

The exterior of the Klusman House on Seton Avenue near Elder is nearing completion.

(Phillip Hoffman ‘22)

ing? Is it the food? Seeing family? Those awkward moments when your cousin you have not seen in a year brings up politics?

Of course not, it’s the Turkey Bowl! Every family, or friend group has one, and it is usually one of the grittiest sports spectacles of the year.

One thing that needs to be noted about Turkey Bowls as a whole is the attire. Let’s be real here guys, we all know that playing in a Turkey Bowl is usually an excuse to dress up like your favorite NFL player. It is almost like a second Halloween of sorts. People show up to their respective TB games dripping in swag.

They break out the eye black, the leggings, the five wristbands that they only wear on this special occasion because it makes them look like a pro. I for one, love this aspect of the game. It brings a certain legitimacy to the absolute rat’s nest of a game that is about to ensue.

This brings me to my next point, tryhards. There is possibly nothing worse, or embarrassing than going into a Turkey Bowl game thinking you are the next Joe Burrow. I’ll be the first to admit, my footballing skills are way below subpar, but nothing kills a good time like getting yelled at by your tryhard quarterback for not catching a pass. The point of playing in a turkey bowl is to simply have a good time with your friends and family. The last thing you need is to tear an ACL while doing it. My message to all of the overly enthusiastic Turkey Bowlers out there: take a chill pill.

Possibly the best part of an annual TB isn’t even the game itself. Whether the game is played on Wednesday, Thursday, or even Friday, there is always some tasty food to scarf down afterwards.

At the core of the numerous Turkey Bowls that take place around the US every Thanksgiving though, are the family and friends that come with it. This will be especially tough this year, but with a little bit of enginuity, it can be done.

P.E. provides fun and exercise Phillip Hoffman ’22 Staff Writer

If you ask any grade school or middle

school student what their favorite class is, it is likely to be gym. Unless they say lunch jokingly, everyone loves physical education.

It is a much-needed break from sitting and getting stiff all day long. As you get older and enter into high school you start to hear that P.E. begins to be more difficult and feel as if it is a chore rather than a game. But what Elder does best is make all aspects of school enjoyable. Games such as dodgeball, kickball, soccer, basketball, and more are considered classics in gym and can bring repetitive joy.

To mix up class, Elder’s P.E. coach Adam Rankin makes up lots of hybrid sports to keep everyone even more intrigued. Gym at Elder is not at all what you would expect. I have heard from many that all you do is work out and do cardio. It is nowhere close to what you would think. After taking physical education once myself, I talked to some of the guys who are or who have taken gym before and asked them what are their personal favorite games to play.

Student Nick Homen says, “I would say my favorite game by far would be scatter ball. It is like dodgeball but instead of having two sides of the court you have the full court and can move around. In order to move the ball around the court, you have to toss it to your teammates and once you have the ball you can’t move, if you don’t have the ball then you can move freely.

There are usually two balls, one for each team and you can’t take the other team’s

ball, sometimes there is a third ball, the neutral ball that anyone can get and use.

Once there is only one player left standing on their own team, that player then can move and run with the ball to try and get the other players out. This continues until one of them gets out or it goes on for too long. Another thing to add is if one team ball is on the ground and they didn’t pick it up, the opposing team can stand around the ball (can’t pick it up) with their own ball and try and get one of the other team’s guys that are trying to get the ball they are guarding. Obviously, headshots are not allowed.”

Although the rules seem rather complex, scatter ball remains a fan favorite of all students who take gym class at Elder.

Student Alex Vetter agrees saying, “My favorite P.E games are probably dodgeball and boccer because of the more intense running.” Boccer is Coach Rankin’s spin off of soccer and basketball, a hybrid sport, as mentioned before. You play the game as if it is a normal soccer match, but if the ball is kicked up in the air you are allowed to grab it with your hands and pass between teammates. You cannot dribble with the ball, only pass, or kick it.

The goal is to either get it into the soccer net or the basketball hoop. The hoop being 1 point and the net 3!

Scatter ball and boccer are just a few of the many games that make Elder P.E. such an enjoyable experience for all students.

12

Monday November 30, 2020

Arts & Entertainment

Remembering Sean Connery Brandon Eckstein ’21 Staff Writer

In a year where nothing is normal and we

seem to be losing icons every month, yet another star was lost on Halloween this year.

Actor Sean Connery died at the age of 90 in his home in Nassau, The Bahamas.

Connery had been battling dementia for some time according to his wife, he died peacefully in his sleep on October, 31.

Connery was known for being the first actor to play the title character of James Bond from 1962-1983. Connery had many more iconic characters and roles. Connery is considered one of the biggest stars of his generation, and a true role model. Daniel Craig, the actor who is currently playing James Bond, shared his thoughts on twitter the day after Connery’s death.

“It is with such sadness that I heard of the passing of one of the true greats of cinema. Sir Sean Connery will be remembered as Bond and so much more,” Craig said. “He will continue to influence actors and film makers alike for years to come.

My thoughts are with his family and loved ones. Wherever he is, I hope there is a golf course.”

“He will continue to influence actors and film makers alike for years to come. My thoughts are with his family and loved ones.

Wherever he is, I hope there is a golf course.”

When the news hit many other actors and friends of Connery took to social media to show their support for Connery’s family and take a chance to remember Connery. Insider.com reported many of these actors thoughts that were shared on social media in the days following Connery’s death. Alec Baldwin, who co starred with Connery in 1990’s The Hunt for Red October, spoke about the kind of man Connery was.

“I think everybody who worked with him would say the same thing-what a professional he was, he was such a great professional to work with. I learned so much from him. He was so kind and warm toward me, which he didn’t have to be,” said Baldwin.

Connery with Harrison Ford on the set of “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.”

Connery in his trademark tuxedo enjoying a little gambling in Casino Royale.

Actor Pierce Brosnan, who played the iconic James Bond character from 1995 to 2002 shared his feelings on Instagram saying, “ Sir Sean Connery, you were my greatest James Bond as a boy, and as a man who became James Bond himself. You cast a long shadow of cinematic splendor that will live on forever.”

Connery was so revered as an actor and a man that even President Trump talked extensively in a tweet about Connery. “The legendary actor, 007 Sean Connery, has passed on to even greener fairways. He was quite a guy and a tough character. I was having a very hard time getting approvals for a big development in Scotland when Sean stepped in and shouted, “Let him build the damn thing”. That was all I needed, and everything went swimmingly from there. He was so highly regarded and respected in Scotland and beyond that

years of future turmoil was avoided. Sean was a great actor and an even greater man.

Sincere condolences to his family!”

Connery will forever be remembered for his famous characters such as James Bond of the Bond series. His Oscar award-winning performance as Jim Malone in The Untouchables, his supporting role as Henry Jones Sr. the father to Harrison Ford’s Indiana Jones in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and Marko Ramius in the blockbuster The Hunt for Red October.

Connery is survived by his wife, Micheline Roquebrune and their son Jason Connery. In a year where millions are feeling the affects of loss to the corona virus, and where so many stars have passed away, the world lost another major role model and star in Sir Sean Connery.

Monday November 30, 2020

Paved

Henry Mazza ‘21 Co-Editor in Chief

We have all seen it being worked on this

year. The new parking lot has come a long way.

Watching progress on something like watching water boiling, it seems to never finish. Well, over the last couple months we have seen significant progress on the project.

We can’t wait to see how it finishes; in the last couple days they have paved the main section, removed gates, and painted the new parking spots.

Not only is the lot looking great, but the new main stairs and grotto also look fantastic.

Top: Looking directly across the lot from Gilsey Avenue. Inset: This worker told me a panther would look cool watermarked at the bottom of the grand staircase. Bottom: View from the far corner looking in a the west side of school.

Campus News 13

14

Faculty Features

Coaches recall top Elder football memories Brandon Eckstein ’21 Staff Writer

The Elder football program has a great

tradition and is recognized as one of the powerhouses of Ohio high school football.

Being a powerhouse means that you have a few benchmark games that your program has taken part to solidify you in that position. I talked to three former Elder football players, two of which are now coaches and one is the current athletic director at elder, and I asked them each what their top 5 most memorable games are, either as a player, a coach, or a spectator.

I first talked to Coach Brett Currin.

Currin was a defensive back on the back to back state championship teams of 2002 and 2003. He is now the defensive coordinator, and cornerbacks’ coach. Being a part of teams like that coach Currin had a hard time picking just 5 games but he was able to come up with quite an impressive list.

Coach Currin’s first game he said that really stook out to him was his first game at the Pit in 1998. He said it was a day game against St. Ignatius. “ It was a day game that went into overtime that we ended up losing. Kyle Kester for Elder tried to score on fourth and one but was stopped short,” said Currin. His second game that stood with him was the Miracle at Middletown. Currin

recalls the game vividly saying, “In 1999 Elder beat Centerville in a playoff game 49-42, it was so memorable because we were losing 42-28 with 2:08 to go in the fourth quarter, we made a comeback and with 42 seconds to go we tied the game with a touchdown pass. With 12 seconds to go Elder won the game with a pick six. The two guys that had the final two touchdowns were friends with my brother, and people who I had grown up knowing so that made the whole thing even more memorable.”

Coach Currin talked about some of the guys that Centerville had on their team that made the win so much more impressive. “They had three guys who were future NFL players; A.J. Hawk, his brother Ryan Hawk, and kicker Mike Nugent,” said Currin. Next Coach Currin recounted the 2002 state championship game, a game which he played.

“The setting of the game made it seem almost unreal, the snow, the fact that we were under dogs, and then you looked at some the guys they had like future NFL star Marion Manningham. It played out like the opposite of the Miracle at Middletown, they had the momentum going into the fourth and they go for a 2-point conversion at the end of the game to tie.”

Coach then describes the final play of that game.

“I was playing safety and I was coming a blitz, they picked up my blitz but left my teammate unblocked and he was able to hit the quarterback as he was throwing causing the throw to go incomplete.”

Coach Currin’s next most memorable game came the following year, the playoff game against Colerain at Nippert Stadium. “The stadium was full, Colerain was stacked and hadn’t been in a close game all season. We both knew whoever won this game would win state,” said Currin.

Elder would go on to win that game and win state to make it back to back championship seasons.

Currin’s final most memorable game came as a coach, this was last years playoff victory against St. X. “The feeling in the stadium was unreal, we had a long way to go but Matthew ripped that long run on fourth and 2 and gave us the spark we needed. We knew we still had to go out and play some defense and we did. That game really got us over the hump and fueled our run to the Championship.”

Next up to talk to was Coach James, Coach James was a standout lineman for Elder and is now the offensive line coach for the Panthers. Coach James gave me a list in order of his most memorable games.

At number 5 he had the 2001 playoff game against St. X; this he was a coach in.

Fourth he said was his first Moeller game

Monday November 30, 2020 in 1988, third was another game from the 2001 season the WGH game. Second was a more recent victory for the Panthers.

This was the DePaul Catholic game in 2015, and finally there was a tie for the number 1 spot with the back to back state championship games of 2002 and 2003, both which Coach James coached.

After coach James I got in touch with the current Elder athletic director and former Elder student and player Kevin Espelage.

“My memorable game came as a player in 1989. We played Aliquippa at Riverfront Stadium and beat Aliquippa.”

Next came a game from the year prior to the Aliquippa game in which Espelage was also a player. “Another really memorable game from when I was a player was beating Moeller in 1988, and ending their 20-year streak.” Espy’s next most memorable game came as a fan. This game he and coach Currin have in common, is the miracle at Middletown. Espelage then talked about a game in which he was a coach. “The pick central state semifinals game in 2004, was a huge game for us and will forever be one of my most memorable as a coach or a player.” Finally, Espelage spoke about his most memorable game as an athletic director. He said that being a part of the team from last year as whole it was one of his favorite memories.

Opinion: ELDER Chillest Teacher Mitchell Meyer’21 Staff Writer

We all love when a teacher is relaxed.

It’s like all the stress on your shoulders is released. I wondered who are the chilliest teachers at Elder?” So I asked a group of students at Elder who they thought the two most laid-back teachers at Elder were.

Here’s who they said:

Mr. Weinheimer

You all know the Indian flute loving, poem fanatic man that is Mr. Weinheimer.

If you’ve had his class, you know he never gets angry at anyone. Take senior Alex Brady for example, who never keeps his mask on in English class, Mr. Weinheimer never raises his voice at him. He just rips on him for not following the rules, resulting in him masking up.

Mr. Weinheimer said to me, “Gingers are usually supposed to be fiery, but I have taken a different approach. I take a breath, maybe read a book, and I feel quite alright.” Which makes perfect sense to me, I always see him with a poem or book in his hand.

The only times I’ve ever heard him raise his voice is when he gets passionate about a subject. Maybe its him getting fired up about Shakespeare, or about a shocking scene in Snow Falling on Cedars, but it’s never with malicious intent.

Senior Adam Kent had a lot to say about Mr. Weinheimer. “I always knew Mr. Weinheimer had a laid-back personality, but when I had him in class it just baffled me.” Like Adam, many others were shocked about it. “To be honest, AP English might be a lot of poems and book reading, but I really do enjoy it because of how great a teacher he is,” was senior Aaron Wagner’s praise for the poem-loving teacher. Students love the guy, and who knows, maybe we’ll pick up on listening to Indian flute music soon.

Mr. Dickman

“I’ve learned life certainly throws things your way that are worth stressing over, but also many things that aren’t worth stressing over, so why add unneeded stress? Enjoy life and its moments,” is what Coach Dickman said about his chill personality. He talked about how he

has always had this outlook on life, and it certainly shows in his teaching style.

If he needs to lay down the law, then he’ll do it, but he dislikes doing it because of how much he loves Elder, is what he told me. I think you could ask a whole line of alumni about Mr. Dickman, and they would all say he always keeps his cool in every situation. Junior David Gruen told me, “He always gives off positive vibes and is very easy to talk to, whether it be questions in class, or just a casual conversation with him.”

The marathon runner could possibly be the happiest man at Elder. I had Catholic Themes in Media with him last year, and it was one of those classes that I paid complete attention to, but I didn’t feel any stress or anything. Now maybe it’s because we watched movies and listened to music, but you get the point. Old Testament was the same way. It was my first religion class in high school, and to be honest, I had no idea how it was going to go, yet when I got in there and met Mr. Dickman I knew I wasn’t going to be stressed at all. And I know it wasn’t just

Mr. Weinheimer

me who felt this way. Any student at this school would tell you that Mr. Dickman’s class is one of the best at Elder.

Senior Will Stautberg told me, “Whether it be biblical exegesis, or Shawshank Redemption, Mr. Dickman’s happy, low stress classes have been a highlight of my time at Elder.” Without a doubt, Mr. Dickman’s funny comments and happy personality has left an imprint on every Elder student he has taught.

All in all, both teachers show great love for teaching and Elder High School, and they put this on display every single day, being incredible examples for learning to not sweat the small things and just love life.

Monday November 30, 2020

Arts & Entertainment 15

The truth about the fall drama Matthew Walter ‘21 Graphics Editor

The Seton-Elder Performing Arts Series

has been around since 1969. For the past 50+ years, the talented men of Elder and women of Seton have been staging plays, musicals and concerts to entertain the community. However, the unfortunate reality and restrictions of the coronavirus sought to put an end to this storied school tradition. Yet somehow, despite the odds, the Drama Club was able to stage a play this fall.

This year’s performance of What would happen if? Five 10-minute tales of improbability is a remarkable feat of perseverance and sheer willpower. Although they only had “about three to four weeks” of real rehearsals, the team of actors and stage crew was able to put together a complete and entertaining show.

Part of the reason for this quick preparation time is the structure of the play. The play consists of five one-act vignettes; that is five short sketches. This allows the actors and actresses to double up on roles and allows for the stage crew to construct smaller sets that may also double up.

The first scene was Cinderella: Bloodsucker, a scene that dares to ask the question of what would happen if Cinderella met Count Dracula. Performers included Adam Kent as Old Codger, Xavier Hicks as Dracula, Trey Jansen as Prince Charming, Libby Vale as Cinderella, Kailee Chowning as Evil Stepsister and Madison Becker as Fairy Godmother. This

Marvel vs. DC Brandon Vetter ‘21 Staff Writer

We have all grown up

with superheroes; it is almost an inevitable part of childhood. We dress up as them for Halloween, watch them in cartoons and movies, and dream of being one ourselves. We watch them defeat the evilest of the evil on the big screens and stories, and we have all wondered which one is the best. Personally, I have always wondered which side of the superheroes are better: DC or Marvel. These are the two major companies that provide the stories and characters of these epic tales.

I am sure everyone has seen these movies but might not have realized which side of the superhero universe these characters came from. For example, Marvel

scene’s quirk was its use of meta humor, mentioning the low budget of the show several times The second scene was Peanut Butter and Jelly, which asks what would happen if peanut butter never met jelly. It featured Elder students Noah Collins as Peanut Butter and Brandon Hickey as Jelly as well as Seton’s Haley Hughes as maniacal Bread and Bella Roll as the savior Butter Knife.. This scene really hits its stride when it dives into existentialism near the end and also references the greatest movie of all time, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

The third act, Bicycles with Square Wheels, asks what would happen if bicycles in the UK had square wheels. This sketch features breakout Elder senior Nate Sweeney as British Man and John Doherty as the thief. Seton students Becker as Salesperson, Amanda Macke as six yearold Parboil and Josie Somers as British Woman rounded out the cast. This sketch was definitely the funniest of the five, with Sweeney’s British accent serving as a particular highlight. “I just winged it,” Sweeney said about the accent. When asked if his performance could be seen as anti-British, he flippantly responded, “Are any British people gonna read this?”

The fourth tale was Cleopatra’s Talk Show, which obviously asks what would happen if Cleopatra hosted a talk show. It was the longest of the five parts, and, in my opinion, it dragged a bit near the middle. However, the interactions between Elder’s Trey Jansens’s Julius Caesar and

Jack Barsan’s Mark Antony were some of the funniest in the whole play. Seton actresses included Shay Espich as Cleopatra, Grace Broxterman as Tina Sphinx, Sarah Newland as Young Woman, Alyssa Meyer as Dusty Breeze, Isabella Saupe as Shirley Davenport and Sarah Haverbusch as soothsayer Miss Jupiter Venus.

The fifth and final story, Robot Queen, wondered what would happen if the queen of England was a robot. This was probably the most realistic of the stories; no real human has lived as long as Queen Elizabeth. Elder’s Adam Kent’s Hunnicut and Sweeney’s time-travelling William Howard Taft absolutely stole the show. Also in this scene were Setons’ Vale as Catherine, Macke as Queen Elizabeth, Audrew DeGregorio as the Minister and Courtney Edrich as The Real Queen.

Leading the audience through the entire continuity of the show, introducing each scene and providing most of the dry puns was Seton senior Grace Villing as Dr. Scientist.

The drama seen on the stage was not the only drama on the set. The show

Seniors Sweeney and Kent were among the cast of What Would Happen If; the 2020 fall drama production.

hosts the great characters of The Avengers such as Iron Man, Spider-Man, and Captain America. DC has the characters of the Justice League such as Batman, Superman, and the Flash. The characters from both universes are great, but which one has the superior characters in both the comics and the movies?

DC was the original comic book franchise and was created before Marvel, which I think gives them a leg up in the running. In my opinion, their characters Batman and Superman are the best of all of the universes because of their powers, suits and the villains they face. Batman’s origin story is one of the best, and he faces the best villain out of the entire superhero universe: The Joker. The Justice League, the band of superheroes in the DC universe similar to the Avengers, were around before the Avengers and faces a very sim-

ilar villain to Thanos called Darkside. I like the Marvel comics, but the only one I believe that compares to these superheroes is Spiderman. Spiderman has a phenomenal origin story and some of the coolest powers, but just this one superhero does not compare to DC in the comics.

In the movies and film, Marvel will most definitely take the prize. They have crafted a whole universe with some unbelievable films such as Infinity War. They also have a stand alone saga for just about every superhero in the Avengers which is incredible. Their whole movie universe has already completed Phase One which consisted of 22 movies if you count all of the heroes and their movies along with the Avengers movies. DC has created the best superhero trilogy with its Dark Knight trilogy, but like Spider-Man before, it cannot beat the entire Marvel universe. However, The Dark Knight is undoubtedly the best superhero movie ever created.

I asked superhero enthusiast and teacher Mr. Dickman on his opinion.

Relating to comic books, he said, “My fa-

vorite superhero is Batman because I have loved him ever since I was a kid. I would most likely read more Marvel titles, but I have to go with Batman and DC because I love reading Batman.” He said it was tough to decide because he loves both, but he just loves Batman the most and had to go with his favorite.

When asked about the two franchises in the cinema realm, he said, “Honestly, I know it isn’t DC or Marvel but my favorite superhero movie is The Incredibles, but I would have to say that The Dark Knight is the best movie. Overall, though, Marvel is much stronger across the board with their franchise.” I think that Mr. Dickman offered some great answers and evidence into the question at hand, but it is still hard to decide.

Finally, I believe that DC has the better universe. It does not have as many great movies as Marvel, but it still has enough to compete. Also, my two favorite superheroes, the Flash and Batman, are from DC. They are both exceedingly great, but I have to give the victory to DC.

was not without its fair share of behind the scenes drama. An anonymous cast member revealed that “Mr. Rogers would drill us for several hours.” There was even some behind the scenes fighting. Xavier Hicks recalled a particular incident in which “[Barsan] tried to hit me.”

However, for the most part, the production went really smoothly. Nate Sweeney described the play as “very fun” and as a “pretty good show to be in.” Xavier Hicks joined in on this praise, noting “Drama do be pretty hot doe.” Most of the crew got along well and enjoyed joking around. “People started meming me for saying SCONES,” said senior actor Adam Kent about his performance as Hunnicut.

All in all, this year’s production of What would happen if? was a really fun production for both the viewers and cast members involved. It served as an excellent continuation of the Performing Arts Series and was a great experience for all involved.

16

Monday November 30, 2020

Back Page

Opinion: ELDER

Our favorite tidbits of mostly useless information.

Least favorite food Seth Trischler ‘22 Staff Writer

Everyone loves food but we all have

different tastes. Some of us like spicy food while some hate it. Everyone has things they like and dislike. I went off on a journey around Elder to find the most hated foods by individuals and the responses I got were interesting.

Mr. Grimm

“Healthy cereal, who doesn’t like sugary cereal,” is what Mr. Grimm told me when I asked him what his least favorite food was. Many people transition to a healthier alternative for cereal when they grow up. It is good to see not everybody does. I personally do not eat cereal as much but when I do I like the sugary ones over the healthy ones.

Mr. Dickman

When you hear of people’s least favorite foods, they usually are vegetables or something gross, but Mr. Dickman went another route. He told me that he really was not a picky eater when I asked him what food he liked the least. If he had to choose though, he said it would be dark chocolate. I can see someone not liking dark chocolate because of how bitter it is compared to milk chocolate. To me chocolate is chocolate so I will eat it no matter what but that could just be my sugar tooth talking.

David Gruen

“My least favorite food is oysters because the texture is slimy and soggy, and their taste is like if you were to swallow ocean water. The first time I tries an oyster was on vacation like five years ago and we

were eating at one of those restaurants that is right by the ocean. When I tried to eat the oyster, I gagged, spit it out and threw it in the ocean.” Oysters have always seemed disgusting to me, so I never tried them. I am not a seafood guy to begin with so oysters have never appealed to me. I am that type of person that always gets a burger wherever he goes to a seafood joint.

Evan Rickett

There was no hesitation when thinking of who I wanted to ask about their least favorite food. Evan might be the most controversial guy at Elder. For example, he thinks Jordan is the G.O.A.T., but that is for another time. When I asked him what his least favorite food was, he said, “For sure, lettuce. It just tastes bad.

People often claim it does not have a taste, but it does. It tastes bitter and is pointless to put on a sub or a burger because it makes the sandwich worse. Meaning you cannot enjoy your sandwich as much because the lettuce is reducing the taste.”

I always hear people complaining about tomatoes on their burgers, but never lettuce. I personally like both on my burgers because it makes me feel like I am eating healthy.

Me

My least favorite food would have to be chicken. I feel like the taste of it is so bland and I hate the texture of it. If I am going to have meat, I would rather have steak. I can deal with fried chicken but if it is off the grill, I just do not like it. I know most people think otherwise, but I am a very picky eater.

The history of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Shawn Wyatt ‘22 Staff Writer

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade,

the longest parade in the world, is a famous tradition in New York City every Thanksgiving. However, it has changed throughout the years.

The 1920’s were a time of prosperity for America as a country, and Macy’s was one of the most successful businesses at the time. The first Thanksgiving Day Parade was held to celebrate the opening of a Macy’s story in New York, which was the largest in the world.

Despite being held on Thanksgiving, it was actually a parade celebrating Christmas.

In the early years, the parade route was six miles, and those participating would march from Harlem to Herald Square.

Throughout the 1930’s, the parade became much more popular. It began getting national attention as one of the largest parades in the world at the time. Over a million people every year would stand along the parade route to watch.

During the 1940’s, the parade got off to a rocky start. From 1942 to 1944, the parade was cancelled because more rubber and helium were needed for World War II. It resumed the next year and was first televised in 1946. This helped the parade

grow to another level because people all around the country could watch the celebration on television.

At this point, many more companies wanted to participate by having a float in the parade. Throughout the years, there have been some crazy and memorable floats in the parade. These include giant foods, cartoon characters, Christmas items, and more. At the end of the parade, Santa is on a float, showing that Christmas is just around the corner.

This year, the parade will of course look slightly different due to the Coronavirus pandemic. The 2020 parade will be a televisiononly event with no in-person attendance.

However, the actual parade will remain virtually the same as past years.

You can expect to see the same types of floats and balloons, but there will be no marching bands, dancers, or anything with a large group of people.

Although we are used to seeing large crowds of over a million people lining the streets to witness the celebration in person, this year will probably not feel that different than the past. It will still have the same energy and excitement as the past few years, and the excitement will still be very high.

Paul Revere never actually shouted, “The British Are Coming!”

Nicolas Cage was on the cover of a Serbian biology textbook between 1993-2001.

The government literally poisoned alcohol during Prohibition You can hire a scary clown to terrify children.

Viagra makes flowers stand up for about a week.

Approximately 10-20% of power outages are caused by squirrels.

Fir trees can grow in human lungs.

If the sun was to explode right now, you wouldn’t know about it for another eight minutes.

Two PlayStation 1 games FIFA 2001 and Gran Turismo 2, had scratch & sniff discs. The FIFA 2001 disc smelled like a soccer field, while Gran Turismo 2 smelled like car tires.

The University of Minnesota is older than the state of Minnesota itself!

Busken Bakery has correctly predicted the winner of last nine elections with a Cookie Poll.

People used to say “prunes” instead of “cheese” when having their pictures taken.

A woman in Sweden lost her wedding ring while cooking, then 16 years later she found it wrapped around a carrot in her garden. In 1995, a woman lost her wedding ring while cooking then found it in 2012 wrapped around a carrot in her garden. The only explanation is that the ring was lost in vegetable peelings that were turned into compost.

Horned toads can squirt blood out of their eyes Over 80 million bacteria can be exchanged in one kiss Baboons have a “language” of more than 30 sounds.

They communicate through actions such as shrugging and lip smacking, too.

There is a town in Norway named “Hell”.

It is illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland because they get lonely.

John Tyler, the tenth US President, has a grandson who is still alive today.

On the Yakushima island Japan, monkeys groom and share food with deer in exchange for a ride The longest English word is 189,819 letters long and it takes longer than three hours to read it in its entirety.

High heels were originally worn by men.

The average person walks past at least 16 murderers in their lifetime.

Space is completely silent. It’s so silent that people bring megaphones to the International Space Station for people to talk to each other.

There is a McDonald’s on every continent except Antarctica.