Connect 2016 summer human sexuality web

SUMMER 2016 Summer 2016 • $8.95

Journal of Children, Youth & Family Ministry

1

Upcoming classes Luther Seminary’s engaging coursework helps students deepen and strengthen their ministry. Classes in our flexible curriculum are based at the intersection of church and world.

Contemporary issues in Children, Youth and Family The 2016 course is Neuropsychology and children, part of the Science for Youth Ministry grant.

Explore how the neurological realities of development impact ministry with children, youth and their parents.

Think Theologically.

Be Relevant.

Luther Seminary offers many concentrations in relevant areas of ministry within Master of Divinity and Master of Arts degrees. These include: • Children, Youth and Family Ministry • Congregational Mission and Leadership • Congregational and Community Care • Theology and the Arts • Christian Faith and Community Engagement

Dietrich Bonhoeffer: youth worker Examine the writings and work of Bonhoeffer, a theological thinker in children and youth ministry.

Culture and emerging generations Study younger generations in culture to integrate and develop effective practices in youth and family ministry.

Young Adults and the Church Explore God’s presence in young adults’ questions, dreams and church engagement.

www.luthersem.edu/admissions | 800-LUTHER3 GC1005-16

Taking science in American youth ministry from an afterthought to a primary concern

scienceym.org /scienceforYM 2

@scienceforYM

@scienceforYM

SUMMER 2016

PUBLICATION INFORMATION Published by:

ELCA Youth Ministry Network www.elcaymnet.org

Subscription Information:

call 866-ELCANET (352-2638)

or visit: www.elcaymnet.org connect@elcaymnet.org

CONTENTS Welcome! 4

Todd Buegler

Healthy Conversations on Sexuality in the Church

Kari Lyn Wampler

5

What’s the Real Question?

Karen Stevenson

8

Interview With Ross Murray of The Naming Project

Christopher Zumski Finke

9

The Story of Rebekah (So Far)

Jamie Bruesehoff

12

Human Sexuality in the Church

Laurel Vogl

14

A Brave New Pronoun

George Baum

16

Calendar of Events

19

Design and Layout:

Michael Sladek

Impression Media Group www.impressionmediagroup.com

Managing Editor:

Erin Gibbons

Connect Editorial Board:

Todd Buegler, Tim Coltvet,

Nate Frambach, Sue Mendenhall,

Dawn Rundman, Clint Schnekloth,

Michael Sladek

UPCOMING CONNECT ISSUE THEMES:

Colleges & Congregations (Fall ‘16) Prayer (Winter ‘17)

ELCA YOUTH MINISTRY NETWORK BOARD Becky Cole: Board Member

Dr. Jeremy Myers, AIM: Board Member

Rev. Regina Goodrich: Board Member

Tom Schwolert: Board Member

Kinda Makini: Board Member

Erik Ullestad: Board Chairperson

Sue Megrund: Board Member

Rev. Todd Buegler: Executive Director

The ELCA Youth Ministry Network exists to strengthen and empower adult youth ministry leaders in service to Christ as a part of God’s mission.

3

WELCOME!

NEWS BITS

Dear friends,

A COUPLE OF IMPORTANT EXTRAVAGANZA 2017 DATES!

Welcome to the Summer, 2016 issue of Connect!

Registration opens on July 1, 2016! Note that because the E is earlier this year, the

When I had to sit my oldest son down and have “the talk,” I was terrified. In his school’s health

cut-off dates for discounts are also earlier.

curriculum over a few years, they had spent time talking about the human body, its growth and development. And we had been active participants in this process. But we knew that now was

Workshop proposals are now being

the time for the “big talk,” lest the school curriculum leapfrog us.

accepted. If you’ve got something to share, please go to elcaymnet.org/workshops to

When I started the conversation, and he figured out what the subject of our talk was going to

link to the proposal form.

be, his eyes went wide. He was about as excited as I was to engage in the conversation.

You can book your rooms now to guaranI think we approach the subject of human sexuality with our congregation’s children and youth

tee the best possible rate. Go to

with the same sense of fear and trepidation. I remember the same look of terror on the faces of

elcaymnet.org/housing to find your way to

our small group leaders when we started to prepare them for the time we would spend in con-

the booking form.

firmation addressing the subject of sexuality. And I have a distinct memory of how a normally talkative group of young people could suddenly go silent, when they realized the topic.

years. While our theology would remind us that sexuality has always been a part of our identity,

THE ALL NEW AND IMPROVED MARTINSLIST IS UP AND RUNNING, and getting a ton of traffic!

how it connects to how we self-identify has become much more of a hot-button issue, and

New resources are being posted every

another sign of the seismic shifts in our culture.

day. Visit MartinsList.org and use your

And issues around human sexuality have gotten much more complicated in just the last few

network web site log in to access the Human sexuality is a complicated and divisive issue. When handled well, it can bring healing and

resources.

wholeness into the lives of God’s people. When handled poorly, it can split congregations, break relationships and divide the church. In 2009, when the ELCA’s initial position on the ordination of GLBTQ pastoral candidates was reached, people in the congregation I served…people who were my friends…walked away from our community. Suddenly, they felt like we could no longer worship together. Our friendships fractured, and I grieved that.

So we’re choosing to approach this issue and its different facets intentionally and carefully.

REGIONAL FACILITATORS ARE CONNECTORS AND COMMUNICATORS WITHIN THE NETWORK. There is one for each ELCA region. Regions 1, 4 and 5 are all up for election this fall. Network members within

Our hope is that they can be tools for you as you intentionally and carefully enter into these

those regions should watch for informa-

conversations in your own congregations.

tion on the nomination process, coming out by e-mail later in the summer.

God bless your ministry

“THANKS BE TO GOD” FOR THE WORK OF ROZELLA WHITE, who is taking a new call in Houston, Texas and leaving her position as Program DirecTodd Buegler Executive Director – ELCA Youth Ministry Network

tor for Young Adult Ministry in the ELCA

Pastor – Trinity Lutheran Church; Owatonna, Minnesota

to the church. God bless you in your new

Todd@elcaymnet.org

Churchwide office. Rozella has been a gift call, Rozella!

4

SUMMER 2016

HEALTHY CONVERSATIONS ON SEXUALITY IN THE CHURCH

by Kari Lyn Wampler Sex is tantalizing; it feels good, and we want it. We want the satisfaction, intimacy and wholeness we feel when we fully and completely give ourselves to another. But sexuality is also pervasive. We are bombarded with sex through images in the media, lyrics in our music, junk in our email inbox and images in advertising.

Most adults have developed an understanding of how sexuality fits into life (although I am surprised by how few adults have healthy and satisfying sexuality), but young people are just starting to figure it out. The wide array of voices speaking about sexuality today can be incredibly harmful to the expectations young people have of sex. When I was young, information about sex and images of naked men or women were difficult to obtain. Today, children simply need to do an internet search for “sex,” and they will find more information than they know what to do with: definitions, images, positions, erectile dysfunctions, videos, STDs, hook-ups, sadomasochism, prostitution, penis or breast enlargement, on and on.

Although there is helpful information about sex on the internet, much of the information promotes selfish gain and power, distorting the gift sexuality can be.

WHERE YOUTH ARE AT Developmentally adolescents want to fill in the gaps in their understanding of how life works. To them, sexuality is ominous. They understand that it is a part of their being, but they often receive mixed messages about it.

When I ask kids in my practice where they get information about sex and sexuality, they almost always say their school, their friends or the internet. Schools primarily address the biological piece of sexuality but offer only a

1 2 3 4 5 6

minimalistic view of how sexuality impacts our lives and our relationships. Which means kids turn to their friends and the internet for more information. Here’s how I explain this to groups of kids I work with: If a friend told you they knew how to fly an airplane because they read something on the internet, would you get in the cockpit with them to go for a ride?

Of course not. But kids have a tendency to think their friends know what they are talking about in regards to sex. Or they explore it themselves.

So, how many young people are having sex?

Here are some basic statistics:

• Almost 50 percent of adolescents have had sex before graduating from high school. 1 • Of adolescents ages 15-19 who have had sex, approximately one-third has had just one partner.2 • 87 percent of young men and 31 percent young women report using pornography.

Pornography is understood to have a significant impact on aggressive sexual behavior, rise in STD’s and teen pregnancy, as well as earlier sexual experimentation.3 • Only 25 percent of young women ages 15-19 years old are likely to use contraception, the lowest percentage of sexually active women.4 • An estimated 40 percent of sexually active adolescent females between the ages of 14 and 19 have an STD.5 • One third of adolescents say they have sent or posted sexually suggestive messages by text, IM, or email.6 Kids are doing it. They’re reading about it.

They sneaking onto their parents’ computers

http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-health-topics/reproductive-health/fact-sheets/us.html http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-health-topics/reproductive-health/dating.html http://www.internetsafety101.org/Pornographystatistics.htm http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-health-topics/reproductive-health/index.html http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/resources-and-publications/info/parents/just-facts/stds.html http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/resources-and-publications/info/parents/just-facts/adolescent-sex.html

5

to see what it looks like. And they’re getting answers from the wrong sources about what sex really is and really means in our lives. It’s time for the church to start having conversations with youth about healthy sexuality. If we don’t participate in the conversation, kids are going to get the information from whatever voice is the loudest—or the easiest to access.

WHERE THE CHURCH IS AT In my therapeutic practice, I encounter many adults who have grown up learning from the church that sex is bad or wrong, especially outside of marriage. As adults, many people who were taught that sex was bad and shameful are unable to recover a healthy understanding of sexuality, even when they are in committed relationships. Therefore, they are never able to experience sex as something beautiful and intimate, fulfilling and spiritual.

When churches do have conversations with young people about sexuality, it often happens between a youth minister and a youth group and generally only during a sole gathering time with no follow-up. These short conversations add little or no value to the information that kids already have access to. Some churches offer weekend retreats or a series of conversations on sexuality, and although healthy conversations about sexuality are happening in more and more faith communities, many churches have a long way to go.

The unique message the church can teach young people is that sexuality is a gift from God. Our sexuality is a part of our whole being—a being that is made in the image of God and is good. There is no part of us that was a mistake. Sexuality is a gift. God intends for us to have sexual desires. God intends for us to

be attracted to one another, to get aroused, to have sexual release and to bond with one another. When we freely explore sexuality, we have an opportunity to understand ourselves and who God has created us to be.

When we are able to draw close to our partner and share this level of intimacy with another, to make ourselves vulnerable with another and experience trust at this new depth, we grow exponentially in our ability to to have close relationships in many parts of our lives, including our relationship with God. Because we have trusted and been vulnerable before, we are able to trust and be vulnerable with God. The gifts of sexuality reach beyond our primary relationship because they are a foundation of trust, love and intimacy upon which our other relationships are built.

BIOLOGICAL

SPIRITUAL

PSYCHOLOGICAL

SOCIAL

A HOLISTIC APPROACH In wellness conversations we have started looking at sexuality holistically by acknowledging that every decision we make has an impact on these four elements—biological, psychological, sociological and spiritual. The primary element addressed when talking about sexuality is biology. Adolescents are taught about how sex works, how the parts work, pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc. Youth have some understanding of how sexuality may impact them psychologically, relationally or socially, but it’s usually learned through social experience—not much comes from any authority on the subject. It’s important to help youth learn to think through the impact being sexual may have on their relationships and their lives,

as well as how they view themselves. How will choosing to be sexually active affect their other relationships at home, at church, at school? How will it change who they are?

Sexuality also impacts spirituality. Most youth probably don’t think about how sexual expression or sexual activity can affect their relationship with God, but the church can help youth understand the importance of being in relationship with God and considering how their decisions will impact that relationship.

God will never stop loving them, but youth can learn to think of their relationship with God as a two-way street. If they are growing and present in their relationship with God, how do their choices about sexuality impact their relationship with God? Complete wellness balances all of these aspects.

Within a healthy conversation about sexuality, it’s important to address unhealthy and harmful sexuality. Each of us is both saint and sinner, so like every other part of us, sexuality and sexual behavior can be distorted by sin.

We can use it for good or use it for selfish gain, power and dominance. That power can show up brutally, as in sexual aggression or rape, or subtly in emotional manipulation or persuasive power. It is never okay to use power to get what we want.

Sexuality is not selfish; it’s not just about getting what I want so I can feel good. Instead, if we are living into the fullness of our relationship with Christ, we are always in service to the other person. Sexuality is an expression of the love we have for the other, in full respect for that person. It is not about our own satisfaction, but instead about the selfless gain for the other.

START THE CONVERSATION In order to help young people work through their understanding of sexuality, the church must first get comfortable with the conversation. Because so many of adults have underdeveloped understandings of sexuality, they are ill-equipped to educate our youth. Get comfortable with the conversation. Be honest about your own fears and iniquities when it 6

comes to your understanding of sexuality.

Practice saying words that are uncomfortable like “masturbation” and “ejaculation”, “oral sex” and “intercourse.” The young people you work with will only be as comfortable with the conversation as you are.

One thing I’ve learned through many conversations with young people is if you want to shut down a conversation with kids around sexuality, tell them not to do it. I don’t mean that we should encourage sexual activity, but with the rest of the world telling youth to have sex, we will instantly make ourselves irrelevant by telling them not to do it. Consider using a motivational interviewing stance with the youth you work with. Ask them questions about what they believe and think.

Read scriptures and have them give feedback about what they hear in the scripture. Guide and direct the conversation, but allow youth the space to think and wonder about it. Know where you stand on your own beliefs because they will inevitably ask for your opinions.

Know what you are willing to share about your own past. Someone will inevitably ask you about that too.

Offer conversations on sexuality, but start early. Many schools offer sex education in fifth grade, so the conversation around spirituality should begin about the same time. Consider offering it in conjunction with a growing bodies/honoring your body conversation. Offer a good touch/bad touch workshop for younger kids. Host a series that addresses how parents can raise sexually healthy kids. People are invested in raising their kids, and it may help the community get more comfortable with the conversation because they want to know how to have that conversation with their kids.

As adolescents’ bodies start to develop sexually, offer more information for adolescents in a healthy, holistic way. Have a series of confirmation discussions or a weekend retreat on the subject. Look for opportunities to engage conversation around sexuality all the time, not just during the “sex talk” (or “talks,” if you are hearing me now). Look for opportunities wherever you can find them: current, new

SUMMER 2016

events, when someone is pregnant or has a baby, when topics of sexual assault come up, when images of sexual exploitation surface and so on.

tion on sex. If we are not, we cannot expect our kids to have a healthy understanding of intimate, soul-feeding, God-intended, sexuality as they mature. This is what we all deserve to experience of this gift from God.

This isn’t a comprehensive list of what we can do to raise kids with healthy sexuality, but it’s somewhere to start. The most important piece of the puzzle is to take part in the conversation. The church needs to be one of the sources where young people get informa-

7

Kari Lyn Wampler Kari Lyn has been advocating for the well being of youth and adults for over 25 years. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, international speaker, teacher, and author who empowers adults, families and youth to live their best lives. She holds a master’s degree in Pastoral Theology and Youth Leadership and is currently completing Ordination Requirements for the ELCA. She enjoys singing, traveling, yoga, meditation, camping and hanging out with friends.

Most of all she enjoys spending time with her husband and two beautiful girls. karilynwampler.com

WHAT’S THE REAL QUESTION?

by Karen Stevenson The good news is when a teen asks you a question about sex, they don’t really want to talk about sex. The bad news is that what they are really asking is “How did you figure out boundaries in this area of life, and how do I communicate with someone in a relationship?”

This is a question many adults had to navigate on their own through adolescence, the teen years, and college. It’s a question some adults are still trying to figure out. So how do trusted adults talk about sex, love and relationships with today’s teenagers—teenagers whose primary source of information might be a mash up of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” “Game of Thrones,” chick flicks and whatever they can find on the Internet? Adults may not realize it, but teens want to figure out how to have meaningful, trusting relationships. They want to do their best at the things that matter in life, and they have accurately perceived that sex matters because it’s central to who we are as children of God. God created us to be sexual beings, and God says our sexuality is good.

When a teen asks me about relationships, I start by explaining it’s a life-long process rather than an event. Throughout our lives, we are continually redefining how we feel and learning and practicing how to communicate those feelings with others. It’s not something we figure out once and then never worry about again. We have to keep asking ourselves what we think and feel, and then we have to work to discover healthy and safe ways to pursue those feelings, needs and desires.

In order to experience intimacy, we need to be self-aware, asking and answering for ourselves these questions: What do I think, feel, need and want? Does it feel safe to share right now or will I feel ashamed afterward? Opening up about our feelings can help us get close to others, but it also makes us vulnerable. There’s a balance to figuring out when and what to share while protecting ourselves from shame and hurt. We want to be open so that we can experience connections with others, but we want to keep ourselves safe. Teens especially

are looking for ways that they can experience intimacy and grow in personal relationships without getting hurt. Learning whom to trust can be one of the most challenging paths we navigate in life.

Teens want to know what it means to be in a relationship and how sex is (or is not) a part of that. In a relationship, two people are trying to figure out how to communicate their thoughts, feelings, needs and wants with each other. We call this intimacy or connecting, and sex is one especially important area where we need to learn how to communicate. God created us to be sexual beings and says it’s good. God wants us to experience pleasure in our intimate relationships through sharing our feelings and expressing our love for another person physically. In some ways sex is sharing our affection physically and gradually coming to the decision that it feels safe to share this affection by being physically intimate with each other. This process happens over time, as we figure out our own boundaries, while considering what level of vulnerability we are comfortable with.

Teens don’t like to wait, but waiting, learning and understanding are important aspects of building healthy relationships.

When we do choose express ourselves in intimate sexual touch, we want to have empathy for our partner to ensure that they feel equally comfortable and safe about the type of physical touch we share. Unfortunately, since it feels so vulnerable to talk about how we feel, oftentimes we just engage in physical activity and hope the other person feels okay about it. But it’s vitally important to overcome that insecurity and be open about sharing our feelings, to make sure the other person knows that their feelings matter and that we should both feel equally comfortable as we explore and show our affection with physical touch.

Within a relationship, it’s important to understand what commitment you and your partner have made to each other. With sexual intimacy comes a deeper commitment, and many teen8

agers may not take that into account when they are making the decision to experience sex in a relationship. Verbalizing how you view your relationship commitment and listening to your partner’s view can affect what decisions you make about sexual intimacy. Many teens don’t want to think long-term, but it’s important to ask the question: Would you make a lifelong commitment to this person?

The Bible is full of sexual relationships between people, and God loves all of the people in the stories. God doesn’t pull back love when we get confused or lost or make a wrong decision. God’s intention is that we experience love and pleasure and closeness with others, and our sexuality is one of the ways that we express ourselves. Jesus says love your partner and yourself in the process. That means honor your feelings and honor your partner’s feelings and act in loving ways that demonstrate that you care for one another.

Karen Stevenson Karen is a clinical social worker in private practice and a Lutheran pastor. She likes giving presentations on wellness issues to build skills and teach tools for healthy relationships.

SUMMER 2016

INTERVIEW WITH ROSS MURRAY OF THE NAMING PROJECT

by Christopher Zumski Finke In 2003, Ross Murray was asked to help find a Christian community for a 15-year-old kid who had just come out to his family. Murray, a gay man working in youth and family ministry, realized how few options there were for a teen in that situation. In the early 2000s, there just weren’t many LGBT church groups doing youth programs. “You could do religion, LGBT or youth,” Murray told me on the phone. “Two of those was okay but not all three at the same time.”

This meant a crucial need for LGBT youth was not being met. “If it was going to happen, we were going to have to start something,” Murray said. That same year, he and two colleagues, Jay Wiesner and Brad Froslee, created The Naming Project. It began as a weekly drop-in night for LGBT youth in the basement of Bethlehem Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota, but they quickly realized this wasn’t enough.

The following year Murray, Wiesner, and Froslee added a summer camp to The Naming Project, one that would meet all three needs of Christian teens simultaneously. It would be a safe community for young people of all sexual identities and orientations who were interested in religion and sexuality. The camp drew the attention of documentary filmmakers, who chronicled the first year of the camp’s existence and in the award-winning film “Camp Out.” Murray lives in New York City now, where he works for GLAAD as director of programs, global and U.S. South. But for a week each summer he returns to an island in Bay Lake, Minnesota, where 10-15 kids gather for a camp unlike any other.

I spoke with Murray about The Naming Project, the role his camp serves for LGBT Christians and the challenges facing pastors, youth leaders and churches working with LGBT youth.

This conversation has been lightly edited CZF: Can you tell me why you started The Naming Project Summer Camp?

RM: All of us had been involved in camps in our youth. We found them to be an informative experience for young people. We wanted young people to be able to be out, to explore who they are and how they relate to God and to the rest of the world.

The the camp draws kids from throughout the country who have some experience with spirituality, sexuality, being part of a faith community. It’s a place where they can talk about their feelings, about their relationships.

They’re not going to get judgment.

CZF: Why did you call the organization The Naming Project?

RM: When we first formed it we were writing a description of the program for a grant or something, and we wrote “Name” in bold so we remembered to fill it in later. But we looked at it and thought, names are really powerful and important. Biblically, names impact and shape someone’s destiny.

We paired that with the understanding that LGBT people in our culture are called a lot of names and a lot of those names are really derogatory. And those names can also shape their identity and their future. We want to make that young people understand God knows each of them by name, and God calls each of us by the name “child of God.” CZF: Your camp is for LGBT youth, but it’s also a summer camp. Could you talk specifically about how this camp is different than other camps that they might be familiar with?

RM: The program and the daily schedule look a lot like what people are familiar with.

We start with morning devotion, into Bible study, large group and small group, activity time—swimming, kayaking—camp games and campfires.

9

The difference is the community that gathers for it. I know this from growing up, but in other camps it would be a really hard to come out.

Some of our young people come and have a strong sense of who they are. They know their identity. They know their faith. They’re really proud of who they are. Some have a vague sense of spirituality but haven’t really explored it and may not know how they identify, even for themselves. We provide a safe space that allows them to come in and share that for themselves.

CZF: Can you talk about some of the outcomes you’ve seen as a result of time at the camp? How does camp shape the rest of their out lives?

RM: For some, this may be the first LGBT place they know. Some go all out. There’s a lot of rainbow articles—kind of experimentation and play. They get to be as out as possible. After a few years of that we see them step back a little more, into a more nuanced understanding of who they are and how they relate to the rest of the world and to God. It matches the same developmental understanding that other young people are going through. They’re trying on different identities and different activities to see if this is them or not.

CZF: Some kids arrive at camp and find out it isn’t for them. Can you talk a little about how that interaction goes for campers?

RM: Our camp is very intentional about people not feeling left out. These campers, perhaps more than the general population, have an acute understanding of what it feels like to be an outsider. They notice if someone doesn’t feel included, and they make the effort to get that person included.

There are different personality types, people that don’t like camp or activities, but we’ve been able to pick out the parts that are helpful or meaningful. They’ll say, I’m really glad I get to have this conversation, but I really hate bugs.

CZF: You’ve been doing it for 12 years now.

What are some aspirations you have going forward?

CZF: Why do you think it’s important for youth to see leaders speaking about the issue in public?

RM: Right now our camp is one week a year, and campers age out when they hit 18.

They’re very sad when they realize they can’t come back. We have always talked about a young adult and college camp for 18-24 year olds, to talk about life for LGBT persons after high school.

RM: Some church leaders don’t want to say something because they don’t want to offend someone. The message becomes: This is shameful and can only be spoken about behind closed doors.

Another thing I think would be really powerful is an LGBT Family Camp. The ones I have seen are often for same-sex couples with children or for the parents of LGBT children. I would love to combine those and create an intergenerational LGBT family camp that welcomes both. It could be same-sex parents with children, or it can be parents and an LGBT child.

Having them mixing in a single community could be really powerful.

CZF: Yes.

The tricky part is that this has always been a side project for those of us in leadership. We have our everyday lives and then we volunteer to make this happen.

CZF: How have you seen church leaders effectively initiate and respond to conversations with youth about human sexuality?

RM: The best way I’ve seen it done is where a church leader can talk about sexuality from the pulpit or perhaps in the wider world around a particular issue. That sends an implicit message that they are a safe person to talk to and that the young person can have a conversation one-on-one.

There are some good curricula that exist out there. There are programs written by church groups that have helped young people think through it in the ELCA. Anything that can facilitate a safe conversation is good. But it’s probably more about the environment than it is the curricula or what gets said or not said.

Have you ever heard the term “gaydar?”

RM: One way to explain it is that if I’m in a space and I don’t know who’s there and I don’t know who’s safe, I am in high sensitivity for any clue about who is a safe person or who shares this identity with me. So anything that someone might do or say gets analyzed to see, are you a safe person? That is why saying it explicitly, and saying it without a level of shame, is important.

One statistic for you: 40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBT. That’s despite LGBT youth being only 8 percent of the overall population.

CZF: What role do you think pastors, youth directors and other youth leaders can play in helping youth realize who they are in their own sexuality, living in this identity in a healthy way?

RM: One statistic for you: 40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBT. That’s despite LGBT youth being only 8 percent of the overall population. There’s this really disproportionate thing that’s happening.

Many of those cases are families that got the message, or the impression or perhaps even the explicit instruction from their church or

10

religious leader that they cannot let an LGBT person live in their home. So they kick them out. And that is a devastating statistic. That’s where pastors really have to set the tone to let parents know they can be safe and accepting.

Pastors and youth directors set the tone and the environment for how the congregation is going to be, how the youth group is going to be. They need to assume there is at least one LGBT person in their midst at all times. Even if they don’t know who it is, if they talk like there is, then they’ll have that particularly sensitivity.

CZF: That is an amazing statistic. That’s an epidemic among LGBT youth.

RM: It is. I cannot stress this enough. That is one of the biggest fears for a young person coming out. I went to Augsburg College, and I worked with a group that talked about how parents are the most important influence on a young person’s faith identity. That is true for LGBT youth as well. How they are going to accept them, how they are going to talk about them, how they are going to receive them as a young person? That is going to make or break them for the rest of their lives.

A lot of those youth migrate to what they think are gay friendly cities like New York, and some turn to doing whatever it takes to survive, survival sex, just to get food and shelter. And all of that could have been avoided with acceptance from the family.

There has been some really good research done by a group called the Family Acceptance Project. Talking about what acceptance means for young people and how it can keep them in the home, how it can keep them in the faith, how it can keep them from detrimental behavior.

CZF: What would you say to those same church leaders, in terms of talking to families and to parents who have children that are LGBT? RM: Often parents will go to their pastors and say, I think my child is gay, what should I do?

What I want is to have pastors to have already

SUMMER 2016

talked about this proactively before they get asked, to have already articulated their thoughts on this. That way, when the parents come to them, all they have to do is relay the message that has already been shared throughout the congregation.

CZF: I imagine the range of conversations that take place in these situations varies greatly based on age and the individual. Is there anything that you think, broadly, could help define these conversations for church leaders?

RM: You’re right, the questions we are asked are all over the map. Start with values. We are

CZF: How can youth directors best answer questions their youth ask about their own sexuality and sexual activity?

RM: We tell our campers we want to be resources for you. We have this conversation in small group or one-on-one, to make sure they understand the basic mechanics of sex. We want young people to make decisions that are going to respect themselves and their bodies, to make sure their sexual activity is life-giving and not life-taking.

We don’t get preachy with a list of dos and don’ts. It’s more important to implement a process in a young person’s mind about how they are going to make decisions about sexual activity: what they’ll do, what they won’t do and what that says about them, so that they are not, in the moment, having to make those decisions. That’s when it gets really difficult. If they understand their values first, then they’ll have a better understanding of how they want to be in relationship with other people. And that includes sexual relationships with other people.

church people, and helping young people understand the values they have, as Christians, as Lutherans, and helping people understand the value they have themselves—that’s where this conversation can start.

The other assumption we make is that there are young people who are sexually active.

We don’t want that to happen at camp, but I am not going to be naïve enough to assume it doesn’t happen anywhere else. Young people may or may not talk about it. Others haven’t gone through any of that and have no idea how it works. We have that range. Being responsive and being able to answer in a positive way that doesn’t blush, that doesn’t giggle at dirty words or things like that, to help people have the conversation without stigmatizing it further—that makes a big difference.

CZF: Is there something about the work you want to pass on to those working in the church but who are not thinking about this everyday?

RM: The reason we started The Naming Project, even before the camp, was to be a resource and a benefit for youth leaders and ministers and pastors and parents, so they can find a place that talks about what it means to be LGBT, to be Christian, to ask the kind of questions that you are asking us now. That’s the sort of thing that we welcome.

We’ve been to Extravaganza. We’ve done workshops. We’ve visited congregations.

We’ve visited schools. Pastors and youth leaders and ministers and parents don’t have to go through this alone. We can walk with them.

We can show them best practices.

They can be asking these questions even if they don’t have a young person coming out right in front of them. They can have this formulated even before they have that young person in front of them.

Christopher Zumski Finke is a freelance journalist in St. Paul, Minnesota. He is editor of TheStake.org. Follow him on Twitter @christopherzf. He resides in St. Paul, Minnesota with his wife and two children.

11

THE STORY REBEKAH (SO FAR) LOST INOF TRANSLATION...

Rebekah is an excellent student with a deep love of learning. She’s a passionate writer and reader. She is adored by classmates and teachers. Singing and dancing bring her joy.

She’s articulate and wise beyond her years.

She loves to climb mountains, rock hop down streams and swim in waterfalls. She is strong, and at times, her heart is bigger we can handle.

She is a beloved child of God. She is 9 years old, and she is transgender.

I strongly believe that our stories—the stories of who we are, where we come from and the way we interact with the world—matter deeply. With the recent explosion of transgender issues in the media, people know more information than they have ever before, but there are also more questions than ever before. If you’re not transgender, the idea of being transgender is confusing. It’s okay to say that. It’s important to say that.

I cannot speak to the transgender experience.

I was born biologically female, and I have never in my life felt anything but female. Even while playing sports, refusing to wear a dress and stomping through the muddy woods, I knew I was a girl. I don’t understand what my daughter feels, but I don’t have to understand it to support her. As beloved children of God, we are one body in Christ. When we claim our stories, tell our stories and hear each other’s stories, we are better able to enter into community with all God’s children and care for each member of the body. My daughter is transgender, and she is okay.

Some might say Rebekah was a born a boy, but that’s not entirely accurate. She’s always been the person she is now. She was assigned male at birth, meaning that when she was born, everyone took a look at her genitals and assumed she was a boy. It turns out we were wrong. Over the years, our daughter was drawn to all things typically feminine. Her favorite color was pink. She loved to paint her nails and play dress up. Her closest friends were girls. We learned there was a name for this: She was gender non-conforming. We

by Jamie Bruesehoff

assured her that colors and clothes are for everyone and that she could be any kind of boy she wanted to be. But she wasn’t a boy; she was a girl.

After years of insistent, consistent and persistent behavior and self-identification, she socially transitioned at age 8 and has been living as her affirmed gender since April 2015.

In the nine months prior to her social transition, Rebekah struggled. She went through an intense period of depression and her previously mild anxiety became crippling. At 7 years old, she was a danger to herself and others. I don’t know what to do with that, even having lived through it and come out the other side.

Seven is so little. Her pain and struggles were so deep. I have never been so scared in my life.

We lived in crisis mode; all joy had gone. Our only goal on any given day was keeping us all safe. Through counseling, nutritional therapy, a wonderfully supportive doctor and a deep trust in our kid, we were able to peel back the layers until we were left with the core issue of her identity, an issue she didn’t even realize was at the core, until we sat there together staring at it.

When I used to explain that my young child struggled with anxiety and depression, people were shocked and skeptical. What did she have to be stressed about? We are bombarded with messages about today’s youth and their idleness, irresponsibility and selfcenteredness. Struggling young people are labeled manipulative and defiant or dismissed as looking for attention.

12

I hope and pray that adults who work with young people are able to think better of them than society does. I hope and pray that we see these children of God for who they are and know that, like everyone else, they are born broken and made perfect in God’s love.

Cultivating a deep respect and awareness for a child’s own self-understanding is at the core of ministry with youth. If we cannot respect these young people as called, claimed and sent children of God, then we cannot minister to and with them. We must be prepared to truly listen in order to initiate and respond to conversations about anything in their lives, including gender and sexuality.

A few months before Rebekah officially transitioned by changing her name and declaring her gender to our community, she tentatively explored how people would respond. That exploration started with us, her immediate family. Her little brother, Elijah, did the best job of listening and responding with trust and compassion. Excited for a birthday outing with two close friends, both female, she chatted with him: “There is going to be three girls and three boys at the playdate today! Trinity, Sophie and I will each be there with our little brothers.” Rebekah had never asserted herself as a girl prior to this point despite her consistent gender non-conformity. Elijah paused.

Rebekah could see that Elijah was doing the math, so she added, “Because I’m a girl.” Elijah didn’t flinch. He responded matter-of-factly, “No, you’re a boy.” Rebekah reasserted herself, “No, I’m a girl.” Elijah didn’t miss a beat. He said, “Oh, you’re a girl?” Rebekah affirmed, “Yes, I’m a girl.” Then Elijah said, “Oh, you didn’t tell me before, so I didn’t know. Now I know.” That was it. Elijah, with the wisdom of a 6-year-old, understood the situation clearly.

Some people ask, “How can such a young child be transgender? What do they know about sexuality?” Pretty much nothing, thankfully!

This is not about sexuality. Gender and sexuality are different. Rebekah knows her gender.

The simplest description I’ve heard is that gender is “who you go to bed as” while sexuality

SUMMER 2016

is “who you to go bed with.” Gender is about who you are as a person and has nothing to do with who you find attractive. While sexual orientation emerges somewhere near adolescence, gender identity is generally established between the ages of 2 and 5.

Other adults wonder about the life-altering decisions transgender children and teens are making. It’s important to know that medical treatment and transition is a process that doesn’t start until puberty at its earliest, spans many years, and is not irreversible until the later stages. Families and youth must make these challenging, but lifesaving decisions. My husband is pastor in an area not known for its diversity or progressivism. One member, a bit of a walking stereotype when it comes to traditional gender roles, pulled my husband aside the first day Rebekah came to church as herself. He said, “You know, before, she never talked to me. She looked at the ground and hid behind your wife whenever she could. Today, she bounced up to me with the biggest smile, twirled around in her dress, and we had a real conversation. That says it all, doesn’t it?” Yes, transitioning to live as one’s affirmed gender is life altering. It’s the most life-affirming experience I’ve ever seen.

There’s a lot we don’t know or understand about gender identity. My family is living into this in the most authentic and supportive way we know. We have spent hours reading the available literature, consulting with top-notch medical professionals and connecting with others who have gone before us on this road.

We are grateful to see a wonderful team of professionals in the Gender Clinic at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.

On our most recent visit, the psychologist spent some time talking to Rebekah before connecting with us. The psychologist explained that when talking to Rebekah, she had asked if Rebekah had ever had to explain what it means to be transgender to someone who just didn’t understand. Rebekah’s initial answer was no, a huge testament to the overwhelming support we have received. The

psychologist pressed on wanting to know how Rebekah might respond if that did happen.

In relaying the story to us, the psychologist paused to wipe away tears, “Your daughter’s answer took my breath away. She said that being transgender is being who God made her to be.” Rebekah knows exactly what it means to be transgender.

As we deal with the everyday elements of a young transgender person’s life—church, camp, youth group, school and even dance class—there are always questions about what this means in practice. What bathroom does she use? Where will she change? What about lock-ins, room assignments or cabins at camp?

I understand these questions, and we navigate them as they come. All current research points to the importance of transgender youth being allowed to access the facilities and programs of their affirmed gender for their physical and emotional well-being.

There will be uncomfortable conversations and situations as we in the church work to provide a safe place for all—emotionally, physically and spiritually. Most importantly, the church is called to act in love and compassion, working toward justice for the least of us.

There is no “but” that follows that sentence.

Our response cannot be that we affirm your gender, but you can’t use the bathroom where you feel safest. It cannot be that we welcome you as a child of God, but you can sleep with the chaperones because you don’t fit anywhere else. We can’t say that we will walk on this journey alongside you, but we have to make sure no one else feels uncomfortable.

I’m not dismissing the legitimacy of logistical questions, but we are the church. We must strive to be a refuge of love and grace in a world filled with hate and fear, and we do that not just with our words but with our actions.

Being transgender is just one small piece of who my daughter is, so much so that I sometimes forget it entirely. She’s just Rebekah, a little girl full of life, love and all the sass a 9-year-old can muster. Sometimes I want to believe that this transgender thing, this label, 13

doesn’t matter, but other days I’m forced to remember that it does matter. I remember that simply because of her identity, she is at much greater risk for violence, bullying, drug abuse, depression, suicide and homelessness. I remember that there are people who think she shouldn’t be allowed to go to the bathroom safely. I remember that we keep a “safe folder” full of documents proving Rebekah’s gender identity, medical care and general good health to protect her and us in the very real likelihood that someone calls Child Protective Services with claims of abuse and negligence.

There are people who have never met my daughter and already hate her. There are churches who would not welcome my family or my husband as pastor. I remember that every time she makes a new friend, I will need to carefully judge when and if I have a conversation with the parents about my child’s genitals. I’m reminded of the difficult and expensive medical decisions that lie ahead. My heart aches knowing that Rebekah’s journey has been far less challenging than many other transgender youth because she has a supportive family and community. And then, she bounces into my office so I can put her hair into a bun for ballet class where she is just one of the girls.

Jamie Bruesehoff is a mom, pastor’s wife, and outdoor ministry professional. She writes honestly about parenting her three spirited children, struggling with depression and anxiety, and striving to live her own story with love, grace, and courage on her blog, www.iamtotallythatmom. blogspot.com.

HUMAN SEXUALITY IN THE CHURCH LOST IN TRANSLATION...

“God arranged the organs in the body, each one of them, as he chose” (1 Corinthians 12:18 NRSV). God created human beings and created them to be sexual. “God created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). Human beings were created with the intention of having different sexes, different genders. Sexuality is part of being human and something that is with each person from birth until death.

Raising young people with a healthy, responsible, and faith-based understanding of sexuality is an ongoing process that begins at a young age and continues through life. A healthy understanding of sexuality is vital for young people as they move through puberty and their teenage years, but it does not end there.

Sexuality continues to be relevant to young adults, married couples, parents and the elderly. The church has a unique opportunity as a gathering place for people of all generations to teach and help cultivate a healthy sexuality in people of all ages.

Developing a healthy, responsible and faithbased understanding of intimacy, sex, and sexuality begins at a young age. Some sobering statistics on child sexual abuse according to the National Sex Offender Public Website (nsopw.gov) is that one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18, of those 34 percent are under the age of 9. Teaching “stranger danger” is important, but when it comes to sexual abuse, 90 percent of abused children were abused by a family member or someone known to the child according to NSOPW. These statistics are frightening, but there is a lot the church can do to educate and help keep people safe.

The first step a church can take is having a program for parents of young children to begin to develop healthy communication between parents and their children on the topic of sexuality. A good model to base this program on is “The Underwear Rule” which was developed

by the Council of Europe (underwearrule.org).

This program was developed to enhance communication between parents and preschool children about sexuality and help prevent child sexual abuse without frightening the children or even mentioning sex itself.

“The Underwear Rule” has three main principles: body autonomy, safe touch, and good secrets versus bad secrets. Body autonomy means that children are taught that their body is their own, and they have a right to say “no” to uncomfortable touching from other people.

This first principle can be difficult for parents.

When Grandma Ruth wants to give Jonny a hug, or Uncle Joe wants to give Sarah a kiss, it can cause an uncomfortable situation and hurt feelings when a child is reluctant to accept physical affection. In order to avoid these awkward situations, parents often encourage their children to show a level of affection which causes the children discomfort. Affirming children’s right to say “no” and respecting their decision is beneficial because it shows children that you support them in difficult situations.

The second principle is safe touch, which tells children that no one is allowed to touch their private parts. Children should be taught that private parts are parts of the body which are normally covered by underwear or a swimsuit. The principle of safe touch says that if someone wants to touch children where their underwear covers or if a person wants children to touch another person’s private area, the children should say “no” and go tell a trusted adult right away. Parents should explain to children that sometimes a parent or doctor needs to touch them in a private area to keep them healthy, but that person should explain why they need to touch the child and ask permission from the child first.

The third principle is good secrets versus bad secrets. Children should be taught that good secrets, like a surprise birthday party

14

by Laurel Duncan or a Christmas present, are okay to keep, but anything that makes the child uncomfortable for any reason should be told to a parent or trusted adult right away. Building a trusting relationship between parents and their children will help keep children safe, and parents should encourage their children to tell them right away about anything that makes them uncomfortable. Parents should tell their children that, if anyone threatens them or wants them to keep a secret from their parents, the children should tell them or another trusted adult right away.

The three principles of body autonomy, safe touch, and good secrets versus bad secrets will help develop healthy communication between parents and their children from an early age and can continue to open the way for healthy communication throughout adolescence and young adulthood. Building on this foundation a church can provide programs about sexual education for youth and their parents. Unfortunately there are not many programs for healthy sexual education in churches, but there are many things churches can do to develop a healthy attitude about sexuality among their members.

The first and most important aspect of developing a healthy sexuality with youth is creating a safe environment for open and honest communication. Many church communities seem to fear or shy away from talking about sexuality at all, so when young people have questions about how their faith connects with their God-given sexuality, their questions are often met with reluctance, avoidance and sometimes even anger. When questions about sexuality are not talked about honestly and openly, young people may believe their human sexuality is completely disconnected with their faith life and look for answers elsewhere.

A church can begin to develop a healthier and faith-based understanding of sexuality by establishing groups or Bible studies focused on aiding in youth development. These groups

SUMMER 2016

can bring in guest speakers about a wide variety of topics dealing with healthy sexual development. Though most schools teach sexual education courses, there is still a lot of information and education material left untouched. Bringing in professionals in sexual education can be a good start so all participants, adult leaders included, are receiving the same basic information.

Talking about changes that happen in puberty is very important in developing a healthy understanding of sexuality. Creating a safe environment in church where young people— and even adults—can ask questions about sexuality can help develop healthier sexuality in people and create a closer community in the church. Beyond the topic of puberty, bringing in experts to talk about issues such as dating violence and domestic violence, internet and cell phone safety, sexual orientations, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and talking about sex itself is very beneficial for young people and adults.

When working on developing a healthy and faith-based understanding of sexuality, begin with scripture. In Matthew 22:36-40 Jesus tells his disciples that the first and greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus tells them that the rest of scripture should be viewed through these two commandments.

Talking about sexuality can be difficult and

cause anger or anxiety in many people. Therefore, it is necessary to being with this basis of loving God and loving one another, before any church group goes further into the topic of sexuality.

There is a long history in the church of viewing sexuality in a negative light. Since sexuality is a gift from God, it should be talked about as such. As with all of God’s gifts, sexuality should be nurtured and developed as a person ages, and every person should learn to express their sexuality in a healthy and responsible manner.

A number of books in the Bible can be helpful resources and teaching tools. One book in particular that would make a good study for older youth would be Song of Songs, also called Song of Solomon which talks about the beauty and goodness of human sexuality.

Sexual education is very important for youth, but it does not end once a teen graduates from high school. Having groups specifically to help young adults navigate the difficulties and independence that come with moving out of their parents’ houses and going to college will not only be beneficial to college-age young adults, but can help grow the church for that age group and designate it as a safe environment for young adults to gather, worship and grow in their faith life. If possible, a church should have groups specifically for newly married couples dealing with the changes in life and sexuality that come with marriage,

15

groups for new parents that can continue as their children grow older, groups for divorcees and widows and groups for elderly people.

Sexuality continues throughout life and it is beneficial to have groups for people of all ages to work together in the specific challenges of life and sexuality that result at every age level.

God created each human being and created each person as a sexual being capable of loving one another, caring for each other, and having and raising children. Sexuality should be understood not as a sin or a burden but a gift from God to be cared for, nourished, and used responsibly and faithfully. The church can help support its members by developing a healthy and faith based understanding of sexuality through study, open communication and creating a safe place for people to gather and discuss their human sexuality in a healthy and life-giving way.

Laurel Vogl is a graduate of Wartburg Theological Seminary in Dubuque, Iowa with a master’s degree in Diaconal Ministry.

She volunteered for a number of years as a certified medical and legal advocate for victims of sexual violence. While originally attending seminary with the aim of becoming a parish pastor, she felt the strong call to specialized ministry working with victims of violence and oppression.

Laurel currently lives with my husband in Germany while he serves two years as a pastor in Bavaria and is working on opportunities to help with the current refugee crisis.

A BRAVE NEW PRONOUN For the sake of space here, I’m going to start off skipping right past whether or not you have reservations about the continuum of gender identity and move directly on to words—pronouns, to be exact. In order to be faithful to the timeline, I am going to use pronouns fitting each stage, which will ramp up confusion (which is always a plus).

So, 21 years ago, my wife gave birth to our first daughter. Fast forward past teenage conversations about bisexuality, and we eventually end up a couple years ago with her telling us she would like us to use “they/them” pronouns when referring to them, since these terms fit more with their non-binary view of themself.

(If that sentence makes no sense to you, you’re right in line with autocorrect in my word processing program.) And that gets us to the thing I want to talk about.

We all use “they/them” when we don’t know someone’s identity: “I was driving through the green light, and this person ran the red light, and they just kept driving.” It works in conversation because it’s absurd to say: “Whoever found my wallet, I hope he or she returns it.”

We all use these terms, but “they/them” comes with the assumption of distance. We use those words about someone we don’t know, not someone whose diaper we changed and who we walked to grade school and so forth.

One night, while chatting with our eldest, they were saying that someone referred to them as a “girl,” and it just felt “icky.” Then they shuddered at the memory, and it really hit me: This is not some decision our kid has made, like a political preference. This sits at the core of who they are. Obviously, the language has always said that (I mean, “identity” means identity, right?), but until that moment, I really didn’t get it.

After that evening, I began to make my own transition. I began to allow myself to periodically think of this child as our son. And I consciously made efforts to alternate their gender in order to join them where they actually lived.

To mentally sit beside them in the broader range of how they see themself.

To quote the old saying, I haven’t so much lost a daughter as gained a son. It still takes effort to meet them where they are, and I have not overcome my English degree, nor my sense that plural pronouns signify that I don’t really know my own kid. But I can tell you for sure—it gets easier, this pronoun stuff. And making the effort to get the pronouns right sends a powerful message that you are trying to see them as they see themself. I encourage you to make that effort, with whatever kids you find in front of you on a given day.

The second problem with “they/them” is that the English major in me rebels against the awkward grammatical problems. It’s really hard to work out a sentence like “Are they here?” when speaking of one person. Worse yet, you can find yourself saying, “Is they coming over for dinner?”

16

By George Baum George Baum is an Episcopal Priest who lives in Cleveland, OH, with his family and their cats. He spent 29 years playing in the band “Lost And Found,” which stopped touring in 2015, but is still available for parties (if they’re good ones).

SUMMER 2016

Intensive Care Courses: January 19-20 Main Event: January 20-23 The Galt House Hotel Louisville, Kentucky

Registration opens July 1 at: elcaymnet.org

The Extravaganza is an amazing event.

The Extravaganza is an annual 4-day conference that draws together anywhere from 500-750 adults who work with youth in congregations of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America for the premier renewal, education and networking event of our church.

It is for the professional and the volunteer.

It is for the old and the young. It is for the urban, the suburban and the rural. It is for pastors, it is for laypeople. It is for all who share in the adventure we call youth and family ministry.

17

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! THRIVENT CHOICE The Network is grateful to its individual donors and organizational partners for supporting its mission and vision for the future. The Network is funded in 3 ways:

The Network!

N AGA RAV EXT

Extravaganza fees cover approximately 2/3 of the cost of the event. The remaining 1/3 is covered by organizational and partnership gifts.

Thrivent Members Can Now Choose The ELCA Youth Ministry Network is now a recipient of Thrivent Choice

extravaganza

ION

operating expenses

Funding for developing our future vision comes from financial gifts from individuals, and organizations.

RAT

dollars can go to the Thrivent choice

IST

Network operational costs are covered by membership dues.

REG

ZA

dollars! Folks who have access to these

Connect Journal • Staff • Publicity • Etc...

page and designate the Network as the recipient of your dollars! It’s a great way to support the Network!

MEMBERSHIP DUES To make a donation, please go to:

These individuals have made a special gift during the current fiscal year to help further the mission of the Network. We are grateful for their support!

Liz Albertson Catherine Anderson Kayla Aspeslagh Kara Baylor Wendy Black Lois Brown Todd Buegler Laurie Carson Paul Clark Debbie Clipson Stephanie Coltvet Erdmann Dave Delaney David Ellingson Terri Elton Megan Floyd Marcia Giordano

Pamela Gompf Richard A. Hardel Barbara Harner Laurie Hoium David Hunstad Suzanne Hunstad Olson Chelle Huth Bryan Jaster Tammy Jones West Amy Kippen Laurie Line Tiger McLuen Jan Mills Brian Norsman Bill Oelkers Chris Okey

Brent S. Palochonski Patsy Polilli Karen Pugatch Linda Rambow Susan Schiermeyer Beth Schneider Tom Schwolert Stephanie Spellers Michael Thomas Jamie Travers Sue Tyler Christina Von Bank Larry Wagner Kelli Weiss Lisa Williams-Mathews David Wolfe

www.thrivent.com/thriventchoice . Log in, and from there you can search for the ELCA Youth Ministry Network in the listing of approved organizations, and make your designation! Thank you to all who have chosen the Network for your donations so far!

These organizations have taken the extra step to become Network partners this year to provide support for the Network. We are grateful for their support!

Gold Partners: Augsburg College ELCA Youth Gathering GSB - Mike Ward Mission Investment Fund Luther Seminary Thrivent Financial Upper Missouri Ministries Unify Church

Silver Partners: Augsburg Fortress LutheranColleges.org Trinity Lutheran College Trinity Lutheran Seminary Wartburg Seminary Camp Frederick Faith Inkubators Flathead Lutheran Bible Camp Silver Partners

18

Lutheran Retreats, Camps and Conferences Lutherans Outdoors in South Dakota Novus Way Ministries Nebraska Lutheran Outdoor Ministries Region 3 Camping Network Wheat Ridge Ministries Youth Encounter Youth Leadership

SUMMER 2016

CALENDAR OF EVENTS: www.elcaymnet.org/calendar Start Date

End Date

Name

Location

Contact Person

Email

6/4/16 10:00 am

6/4/16 2:30 pm

Wondering through Service Learning and Wondering in Prayer

Lutheran, Eldridge, Iowa

Sonja Gerstenberger

sonja@stpeterofgrimes.org

Adult Volunteers, Adult Professionals

6/17/16 11:30 am

7/17/16 2:45 pm

Love Like Jesus - Wondering Creatively

Grandview University, Des Moines, Iowa

Sonja Gerstenberger

sonja@stpeterofgrimes.org

Adult Volunteers, Adult Professionals

6/19/16 4:00 pm

6/24/16 12:00 pm Augsburg College Youth Theology Institute

Augsburg College

Lonna Field

fieldl@augsburg.edu

Sr High Youth

6/20/16 3:00 pm

6/24/16 3:00 pm

Disciple Project

Texas Lutheran University, Seguin, TX

Ben Remmert

benremmert@ctklelc.org

Sr High Youth, Adult Volunteers, Adult Professionals, Parents

8/20/16 9:00 am

8/20/16 4:00 pm

Best Faith Practices

Faith Lutheran Church, Bellaire, TX

Ben Remmert

benremmert@ctklelc.org

Adult Volunteers, Adult Professionals, Parents

8/27/16 10:00 am

8/27/16 2:30 pm

Wondering through Service Learning and Wondering in Prayer

Faith Lutheran Church, Clive Iowa

Sonja Gerstenberger

sonja@stpeterofgrimes.org

Adult Volunteers, Adult Professionals

9/18/16 2:00 pm

9/18/16 3:30 pm

Southeastern Iowa Synod Fall Theological Conference Wondering about Confirmation

St. Paul’s, Davenport, Iowa

Sonja Gerstenberger

sonja@stpeterofgrimes.org

Adult Professionals

10/8/16 1:00 pm

10/8/16 2:00 pm

Children’s Resource Day Wondering Creatively

First Lutheran, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Sonja Gerstenberger

sonja@stpeterofgrimes.org

Adult Volunteers, Adult Professionals

11/3/16 10:00 am

11/3/16 11:30 am

Fall Children/Youth Leader Network Fall Meeting Wondering with Children and Youth

Southeastern Iowa Synod Office, Iowa City, Iowa

Sonja Gerstenberger

sonja@stpeterofgrimes.org

Adult Volunteers, Adult Professionals

10/2/17

10/8/17

Luther 500 Festival Week 3

Wittenberg, Germany

fetival@luther500.com

Adults, Youth

19

ELCA Youth Ministry Network 150 Oakwood Lane Owatonna, Mn 55060

20