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February 14,  2012 Dear Reader, My parents have never told me “I love you.” Don’t get me wrong, though. That’s not to say that they don’t love me. I’m sure they do—or at least I hope they do. After all, all signs point to it. They spoon-fed me when my bones were still weak, potty-trained me when I couldn’t practice self-control, and recently paid for my college applications. They have never said it, but they sure have shown it. In other words, my parents have mastered the art of “show, don’t tell” that English teachers stress so much. And that’s what I hope this issue of El Batidor does: shows, not tells. That is why we don’t want to tell you “El Batidor loves you,” because newspapers don’t have feelings, so it wouldn’t be true. Instead, we want to show you what writing from the heart looks like. Each and every one of the articles featured in this issue was written with love. Each and every picture was an impulse from the heart, and every single bat was hidden with hateful love. Even the articles that express contempt for Valentine’s Day were written with love—just trust me on that one. Now, I want you to know that... This present issue presents you with tissues to wipe away issues. Articles on love, pictures on hate, filled with emotions, you’ll turn the page. Don’t delay, read the Spiel, catch up on the dates, and MLK Day. Love at first sight, is that even a thing? Trimesters next year? Oh boy, oh dear! And on formal dinner, what’s the take? 40 articles. There’s so much in here to keep you awake. As V. Lizard so eloquently put it, “This one is for the folks with the reading system, who love El Bat with the beating system.” I ask you: let your heart beat to the beat of the Bat, and if you don’t like it, leave it as that—a wretched paper at the foot of the door. But if you do like it, keep asking for more. El Batidor galore: there’s only one more. Sincerely,

Fernando Hurtado ’12 Editor-in-Chief

P.S. If you find the 4 hidden bats in this issue and are the first to e-mail with their locations, you could win a $5.00 gift card! 2

Features 4 Entertainment  9 Sports  14 Opinion  17 El  Phat  20

The Staff

L to R: Artist-in-Residence: Lisa Huang ‘12, Opinion: Denali Tietjen ‘12, Video Manager: Pom Bunsermvicha ‘12, El Phat: Charlotte Bowles ‘12, Artist-in-Residence: Isabella Thomas ‘12, Editor-in-Chief: Fernando Hurtado ‘12, Business Manager: Rico Fung ‘12, Entertainment: Johannah Farner ‘12, Head Photographer: Ethan Chan ‘13, Features: Adam Werksman ‘12, Sports: Vanessa Lizárraga ‘12, Layout Editor: Jane Park ‘12 3

Why El Phat Sucks To  the  Esteemed  Section  that  is  named  El  Phat:   On  behalf  of  the  Features  and  News  Section  of  El  Batidor,  I  would  like   to   congratulate   you   on   all   the   success   that   you   have   been   enjoying   this   year.   Your  section  seems  to  be  very  pooular.  I  applaud  your  imagination  and  desire   to  create  the  most-­read  section  of  El  Batidor.  Your  section’s  in-­depth  perspec-­ tives  on  “What’s  Hot  and  What’s  Not,â€?  the  best-­dressed  people  on  campus,  and   the  general  gossip  of  Cate  School  and  the  world  are  extremely  informative  and   somewhat  fascinating  to  read‌except,  maybe  not  so  much?     Here  at  Features  and  News,  we  have  observed  your  section  being  read   voraciously  over  the  past  several  issues.  We  can  attribute  the  appeal  to  the  “gos-­ sipyâ€?  type  of  content  you  provide.  You  provide  quasi-­essential  gossip,  hots  and   nots,  and  related  subjects  to  our  readers.  This  mirrors  successful  tabloids  such   as  E!  and  Us  Weekly.  But,  sadly,  except  for  the  small  cross  section  of  our  student   body  that  aspires  to  be  on  the  Kardashians’  show,  your  articles  and  content  have   very  little  informational  value.   At  Features  and  News,  we  try  to  provide  noteworthy  and  stimulating   content  in  a  curious  and  thought-­provoking  way.  We  at  Features  and  News  feel   WKDWLWLVQRZ\RXUWLPHWRVWHSRXWRIWKHOLPHOLJKW*LYHXS\RXUĂ€HHWLQJÂżIWHHQ minutes  of  fame.    No  more  gossipy  headlines  dragging  poor,  unsuspecting  vic-­ tims  through  the  mud.  Features  and  News  is  taking  back  our  readers  by  provid-­ ing  meaningful  and  thought-­provoking  content.  That’s  right,  we’re  looking  for  a   WRHWRWRHÂżJKWIRUUHDGHUV([SHFWQRWKLQJOHVV/RRNRXW(O3KDW)HDWXUHVDQG News  is  the  new  king  of  the  sandbox.

Trimesters Monica  Wang  ‘14   Did  you  enjoy  the  semester  break  at  the  end  of  January?  Well,  guess   what?  That  was  the  last  semester  break  in  Cate  history—next  year,  trimesters   will  take  the  place  of  semesters!  To  clear  up  any  confusion  about  trimesters,  El   Batidor  had  a  brief  chat  with  Mrs.  Holmes  about  the  changes  that  trimesters  will   bring  next  year.   First  of  all,  instead  of  two  blocks  of  school  being  divided  by  the  semes-­ ter  break,  trimesters  will  separate  the  year  into  three  portions:  one  ends  with  the   Thanksgiving  holiday  in  November,  another  with  spring  break  in  March,  and  the   last  with  summer  vacation.  Trimesters  will  bring  changes  in  courses  along  with   them  as  well,  especially  for  this  year’s  freshmen  and  juniors.  Sophomore  world   history  will  be  split  into  European  history,  Asian   history,   and  African   history   in  each  of  the  three  trimesters  in  order  to  enrich  the  course.  In  addition,  senior   electives  will  be  available  for  next  year’s  seniors  in  two  of  the  three  trimesters   in  place  of  a  single  semester,  so  more  senior  electives  in  English,  history,  and   science  will  be  designed,  allowing  seniors  to  have  a  larger  variety  of  choices  for   WKHLUHOHFWLYHV7KHUHZLOOQRWEHDQ\FKDQJHVUHJDUGLQJWKHÂżQDOH[DPDQGLW ZLOOUHPDLQWKHRQO\RIÂżFLDOWHVWLQJSHULRGRIWKHVFKRRO\HDU8QIRUWXQDWHO\VH-­ mester  break  will  be  canceled  due  to  trimesters,  but  the  school  may  be  thinking   RIDORQJZHHNHQGEUHDNLQ)HEUXDU\IRUWULSVVXFKDV/RV1LxRVWRWDNHSODFH Other  than  semester  break,  however,  no  other  changes  in  holidays  and  breaks   have  been  planned  for  next  year.   El  Batidor  questioned  the  purpose  of  implementing  trimesters,  and  Mrs.   Holmes  explained  the  advantages  that  trimesters  will  bring  to  the  students.  In   WKHÂżUVWSODFHWULPHVWHUVGLYLGHWKHWLPHPRUHHTXDOO\DQGDOORZPRUHFRQWL-­ nuity  in  the  school  year.  As  Cate  has  three  sport  seasons  throughout  the  year,   WULPHVWHUVÂżWEHWWHUZLWKDWKOHWLFVWRR$FDGHPLFDOO\VSHDNLQJWULPHVWHUVJLYH teachers  the  chance  to  explore  more  courses  in-­depth  and  permit  more  courses   WREHFUHDWHGLQWKHVFKRROVSHFLÂżFDOO\VHQLRUHOHFWLYHV)XUWKHUPRUHWULPHVWHUV ZLOOEHQHÂżWWKHFROOHJHDSSOLFDWLRQSURFHVVIRUVHQLRUV²LQVWHDGRIVHQGLQJÂżUVW semester  grades  to  colleges  by  semester  break,  which  is  often  considered  late  by   FROOHJHVVWXGHQWVZLOOEHDEOHWRVXEPLWÂżUVWWULPHVWHUJUDGHVE\7KDQNVJLYLQJ allowing  college  admissions  committees  more  time  to  review  student  applica-­ tions.  Now  that  you  know  more  about  trimesters,  are  you  looking  forward  to   them  next  year?

Sincerely, Adam  Werksman  ‘12

Section  Head-­-­Features  and  News

Currently speaking Adam  Werksman  ‘12   It  would  probably  be  pretty  foolish  to  assume  that  the  vast  majority,  or,   for  that  matter,  a  large  minority  of  the  Cate  community  reads  the  newspaper,   surfs  the  online  news  sites,  or  watches  the  news  every  day.  As  students,  we  have   PDQ\WKLQJVWRGRDQGLWLVYHU\KDUGWRÂżQGWLPHWRVWUROOWRWKHOLEUDU\WRUHDG the  newspaper  or  to  get  online  and  read  news  there.  So  for  all  of  you  who  don’t   read,  listen,  or  watch  the  news,  here  is  an  update  on  what  is  going  on  in  the   country  and  the  world.    ,Q WKH 8QLWHG 6WDWHV WKH *23ÂśV SUHVLGHQWLDO QRPLQDWLRQ UDFH LV JHW-­ WLQJYHU\LQWHUHVWLQJ6LQFHWKHODVWLVVXHRI(O%DWZDVSXEOLVKHG5LFN3HUU\ Jon  Huntsman,  and  Michele  Bachmann  have  all  dropped  out.  That  leaves  Mitt   5RPQH\1HZW*LQJULFK5LFN6DQWRUXPDQG5RQ3DXOVWLOOLQWKHUDFHIRUWKH nomination.  Most  polls  have  Romney  ahead  of  Gingrich,  which  became  reality   in  the  Nevada  caucus  when  Romney  garnered  50.1%  of  the  vote.  Beyond  the   *23UDFH3UHVLGHQW2EDPDKDVDVNHG&RQJUHVVWRUDLVHWKHGHEWFHLOLQJDQRWKHU $1.1  trillion  as  part  of  a  deal  made  last  summer  over  the  debt  crisis.    ,Q ZRUOG QHZV 6HFUHWDU\ RI 'HIHQVH /HRQ 3DQHWWD KDV DFFLGHQWDOO\ UHYHDOHGWKDWWKH8QLWHG6WDWHVSODQVWRZLWKGUDZDOOFRPEDWWURRSVIURP$I-­ ghanistan  by  the  end  of  2013.  Iran  has  also  been  making  headlines  recently  for   bold  statements  about  closing  the  Suez  Canal  to  any  ships  from  other  nations.   7KH8QLWHG6WDWHVUHVSRQGHGWRWKLVE\VHQGLQJQRWRQHEXWWZRDLUFUDIWFDUULHU strike  groups  to  a  location  off  the  coast  of  Iran.  Iran  did  nothing  in  retaliation.   7KLVPLJKWEHDFDVHRIWKHFODVVLFÂłDOOVPRNHQRĂ€DPH´VFHQDULR2QDQRWKHU note,  continuing  protests  in  Syria  and  a  government  crackdown  there  have  elic-­ LWHGDUHVSRQVHIURPWKH81DOWKRXJKQRRIÂżFLDODFWLRQKDVEHHQWDNHQDJDLQVW the  Syrian  government.     That  should  bring  you  up  to  speed  with  the  big  ideas  of  the  last  few   weeks.  Hopefully  one  of  these  topics  interested  you  enough  to  read  the  newspa-­ per  or  surf  online.

senate 's spiel Tim  Annick  ‘12 ,WÂśVRIÂżFLDO\RXUVHQLRU&DELQHWPHPEHUVDUHVHFRQGVHPHVWHUVHQLRUV*XHVV what  that  means?  No,  we  won’t  be  slacking  off.  In  fact,  no  college  applications   equals  more  time  to  serve  you!   Second   semester   also   means   a   new   Senate.   Elections   will   have   hap-­ pened  by  the  time  you  read  this,  and  with  a  new  Senate  comes‌  more  bills?  We   hope  so.  If  you  are  the  head  of  a  club,  part  of  a  club,  or  want  to  start  a  club,  Sen-­ ate  is  at  your  disposal.  Recently,  we  have  passed  3  bills.  In  total,  we  have  spent   DWRWDORIRIRXUEXGJHW IRUWKRVHRI\RXQRWLQ$36WDW 'LGDOO the  clubs  on  campus  forget  about  the  Senate?   In  other  news,  there  have  been  more  house  competitions.  Shout-­outs  to   all  of  the  lovely  members  of  the  Cate  community  who  took  the  plunge  and  got   up  on  stage!  Coming  Soon:  more  assembly  house  competitions.   And,   please,   remember   that   Senate   actually   exists   for   all   of   you.  We   ZDQWWRJUDQW\RXPRQH\&RPHYLVLWXVVRPHWLPH7KH-RKQVRQ/LEUDU\LVERU-­ ing  without  Wi-­Fi.


Features Ciao Tutti : PART 4

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Blind Date: Po Maola

Antonia  Behrman  ‘12

Adam  Werksman  ‘12

 Ciao  ragazzi!  First  off,  here  are  some  quick  updates  on  my  life  in  Italia.   A  large  part  of  School  Year  Abroad  Italy  is  independent  travel.  Students  can  take   weekend  trips  to  anywhere  in  Italy  or  Europe  as  long  as  they  can  make  it  back   for   class   Monday   morning.   Independent   traveling   is   our   equivalent   of   taking   a   weekend   back   at   Cate.   In   December  we   had   four   days   off   over   the   Immaculate   Conception   (even   though   I   am   at   an  American   school,   since   we   are   in   Italy   we   KDYHDOORIWKH&DWKROLFKROLGD\VRII 2YHUWKDWZHHNHQG,WUDYHOHGZLWKRQHRI my  friends  to  Vienna!  We  went  to  see  the  Christmas  Markets,  which  are  in  most   Eastern  European  countries  in  December.  The  markets  were  amazing  and  Vienna   was  without  a  doubt  the  most  majestic  city  I  had  ever  been  to.  Other  popular  places   WRWUDYHODPRQJWKHVWXGHQWVLQFOXGH5RPH0LODQ)ORUHQFHDQG3DULV,VSHQWLO natale  in  the  south  of  Italy  with  my  real  family  from  the  region  of  Campagnia.  We   KDGDWUDGLWLRQDO,WDOLDQ&KULVWPDVZLWKDERXWGLIIHUHQWÂżVKGLVKHVRQ&KULVWPDV Eve.  My  little  cousin  Gianvitto  even  placed  il  gesu  in  the  manger  at  midnight.  My   cousins  also  write  an  annual  “Christmas  song,â€?  detailing  what  has  happened  in  that   year.  They  sing  it  together  on  Christmas  Eve.  However,  it  is  written  in  the  dialect   RIWKHLUVPDOOWRZQDQGZDVWKHUHIRUHYHU\GLIÂżFXOWIRUPHWRXQGHUVWDQG                  

3DROD5LRV0R%DWDO$URPDQWLFOXQFK3LFWXUHSHUIHFWULJKW"(O%DWWKLQNV so.  That’s  why  we  recently  sent  these  two  lovely  sophomores  on  a  blind  date   with  each  other.  The  location?  The  charming  and  delectable  Siam  Elephant  res-­ taurant  in  downtown  Carpinteria.  The  date  began  with  a  chance  run-­in  at  the   VLJQRXWERRN3DRODZDVSHVWHULQJ)HUQDQGRLQWRWHOOLQJKHUZKRH[DFWO\KHU P\VWHU\GDWHZDVZKHQ3DRODUHDOL]HGWKDW0RKDSSHQHGWREHVWDQGLQJULJKW behind  Fernando.  Mo  also  realized  this,  and  when  asked  how  he  felt  when  he   IRXQGRXW3DRODZDVKLVGDWHKHUHSOLHGÂł,ZDVSUHWW\LQGLIIHUHQW´$IWHUWDN-­ ing  the  “deluxeâ€?  Cate  bus  down  into  Carpinteria,  the  burgeoning  couple  walked   GRZQ/LQGHQWR6LDP(OHSKDQW6HDWHGDWDSULPHWDEOHRQWKHSDWLRWKHFRXSOH was  in  plain  view  of  El  Bat’s  paparazzi.  The  paparazzi,  Mo  said,  quickly  made   him  feel  “awkwardâ€?  and  out  of  place.    The  conversation  started  off  with  a  brief   catch-­up  session,  since  the  two  do  not  have  any  classes  together  this  year.  They   made  casual  chit-­chat,  focusing  on  the  “rather  annoyingâ€?  freshmen  and  making   IXQRI)HUQDQGR3DRODWUDQVLWLRQHGLQWRDFRQYHUVDWLRQWKDWGHOYHGDELWPRUH deeply,  asking  Mo  what  he  thought  about  the  seniors  leaving  in  a  few  months.   The  couple  unanimously  agreed  that  it  is  going  to  be  very  sad  when  the  seniors   go  on  to  bigger  and  better  things.  The  dialogue  continued  over  the  food.  Nei-­ WKHUFDQUHPHPEHUZKDWWKH\DWHRQO\ÂłWKDWLWZDVYHU\VSLF\´3DRODPDGH0R do  the  majority  of  the  talking,  drawing  out  answers  about  subjects  such  as  his   VXPPHUDQGKLVVLEOLQJV0RZDVQRWYHU\ORTXDFLRXVFRPPHQWLQJRQ3DRODÂśV questions   and   making   fun   of   her   for   being   a   vegetarian.  The   date   concluded   with  a  jolly  stroll  back  to  the  bus,  where  they  parted  ways.  El  Bat’s  informants   have  not  seen  them  together  since.

 SYA  Italy  likes  to  boast  that  we  spend  forty  of  our  academic  days  travel-­ ing,  so  when  you  are  reading  this  article,  I  will  be  in  Sicilia  on  one  of  those  school   WULSV:HDUHYLVLWLQJ3DOHUPR&DWDQLD$FLWUH]]D6\UDFXVH7DRUPLQD$JULJHQWR Segesta,   Selinunte,   Cefalu,   Bagheria,   and   Monreale.  We   are   even   taking   a   boat   from  Napoli  to  Sicilia!   Due  to  the  unfortunate  health  circumstances  of  my  original  host  grandfa-­ ther,  I  have  moved  families.  I  now  live  in  a  mountaintop  villa  in  Bagnaia,  a  paesino   ¿IWHHQPLQXWHVIURP9LWHUERœVFLW\FHQWHU,KDYHDfratellino,  Andrea,  who  is  the   cutest  little  boy  in  the  world  and  just  turned  four.  I  also  live  with  a  host  mother  and   IDWKHUDQGDWUDGLWLRQDO,WDOLDQJUDQGPRWKHU0\QHZIDPLO\FRPHVIURP3XJOLD the  heel  of  the  boot  of  Italy,  a  region  famous  for  its  beautiful  beaches  and  delicious   IRRG (YHQWKRXJKDOOIRRGLQ,WDO\LVJRRG3XJOLDœVLVVXSSRVHGWREHHVSHFLDOO\ DPD]LQJ

 Since  it  is  il  giorno  di  Santo  Valentino  and  Italy  is,  in  the  minds  of  many,   thought  of  as  il  paese  dell’amore,  I  wanted  to  tell  all  of  you  back  in  America  a  little   about  what  the  holiday  is  like  here.  In  the  olden  days,  betrothed  couples  used  to   announce  their  engagement  on  Valentine’s  Day.  Another  long-­practiced  tradition   KDGXQPDUULHGZRPHQZDNHEHIRUHVXQULVH,WZDVEHOLHYHGWKDWWKHÂżUVWPDQDQ unmarried  woman  saw  that  morning  would  marry  her  within  that  year.  Valentine’s   Day  used  to  be  a  spring  festival  in  Italy,  and  young  couples  would  stroll  through   gardens  listening  to  music  and  poetry.  In  Verona  today,  there  is  a  huge  “Festival  of   /RYH´WKHZHHNRI9DOHQWLQHÂśV'D\DQGWKHVWUHHWVDUHGHFRUDWHGZLWKKHDUWV+RZ-­ ever,  the  holiday  is  not  celebrated  in  this  manner  frequently  anymore.  Nowadays,   Valentine’s  Day  is  often  thought  of  as  a  holiday  carried  over  from  America,  and  it   LVFHOHEUDWHGLQDVLPLODUZD\&RXSOHVH[FKDQJHFDQG\DQGĂ€RZHUVDQGGDWHQLJKW involves  a  pizzeria  in  the  local  piazza.  For  Valentine’s  Day  I  also  wanted  to  share   with  you  guys  a  few  Italian  love  songs.  Here  are  some  of  the  most  popular  ones   right  now:     1.  Inevitabile-­  Giorgia  and  Eros  Ramazzotti  (Âś/Âś$PRUH&KH&RQWD*LRUJLD   3.  Salvami-­  Moda  /D'LIIHUHQ]D7UD0HH7H7L]LDQR)HUUR Don’t  forget  to  check  out  my  blog  Arrivederci!


Features Speed Date: Emily Lucsamppsman Francesca  Keller-­Sarmiento  ‘13 “The  Speed  Date:  Emily,  Justin,  Tobias,  Adam,  Reg-­ gie,  and—where’s  Willem?�

On  Sunday  January  22nd,  the  famous  El  Bat  Speed   Date   took   place.   The   contestants   were   supposed   to   PHHWDWQRRQLQ&UXVKFDNHVWKHXQRI¿FLDOVSRQVRURI the  El  Bat  Speed  Date,  where    Emily  Nguyen  was  the   EHDXWLIXOEDFKHORUHWWHWKDWFKRRVLQJIURP¿YHVWULN-­ ingly   handsome   contestants:   Tobias,   Adam,   Justin,   5HJJLHDQG:LOOHP7KHVSHHGGDWHFRQVLVWVRI¿YH ten-­minute  dates,  where  the  bachelorette  asks  ques-­ WLRQVDQGDWWHPSWVWR¿QGDVXLWDEOHPDWFK6DGO\RQH of  the  contestants  was  a  no  show:  sorry  Willem,  your   loss!

-XVWLQ /XFFKHVL œ FRPHV LQ ZLWK KLV HQWRXUDJH which  consists   of   Spencer   Shapiro   and   Justin   Kim.   Justin   sits   down   with   Emily   and   greets   her.   Of   course,  his  entourage  isn’t  very  far  (i.e.  the  table  next   WRWKHP DQGWKH\FRQVWDQWO\JLYHDGYLFH  Justin:  Are  you  into  goofy  or  geeky? Emily:  I  think  it  has  to  be  a  mixture  of  both E:  How’s  Envi  Sci  going?     J:  Good. E:  So,  if  we  were  on  an  actual  date,  what  would  we   do? J:  We  could  go  to  the  beach.  It  depends.  What  would   your  perfect  date  be? E:  Maybe  a  movie  in  the  theatre. J:  Where  would  you  want  to  go  to  dinner? E:  Where  would  you  want  to  go  to  dinner? J:   I   don’t   know   a   lot   of   places,   but   what’s   a   sushi   place  in  SB? E:  Arigato. E:   If   it   were   our   one-­year   anniversary   what   would   we  do? -XVWLQœVHQWRXUDJHVXJJHVWV³EDELHV´DQGODXJKV

-'LQQHUDQGMHZHOU\EHDFKVXQVHW'H¿QLWHO\QRW babies‌  What  would  you  want  it  to  be  like? E:  I  would  want  it  to  be  super  nice.  Any  last  words   before  you  leave? J:  Do  you  have  a  sewing  kit? E:  No. J:  Because  I’m  ripped. Classy  way  to  end  a  date.  After  asking  Justin  how  the   GDWHZHQWKHUHÀHFWHG³,GRQœWNQRZLIVKHOLNHGWKH entourage,  they  were  pretty  talkative.�


$V7RELDV6WXPSS œ FRPHVLQWR&UXVKFDNHVKH looks  nervous—completely   understandable   consid-­ ering  he  doesn’t  really  know  what  to  expect.  He  sits   down  across  from  Emily  and  stares  at  her;͞  she  breaks   WKHVLOHQFHDQGJUHHWVKLP

Emily:  Hello. Tobias:  Hello. E:  How  has  your  time  been  here  in  America  so  far? T:  Very  nice. E:  Has  any  girl  caught  your  eye? T:  I  don’t  know. E:  If  we  were  to  go  on  a  real  date,  what  would  we  do? T:  Maybe  we  would  go  eat  something. E:    What  would  you  do  for  our  one-­year  anniversary? T:  Maybe  invite  you  to  a  nice  dinner. E:  Would  I  ever  meet  your  parents? T:  Yeah  of  course,  but  we  would’ve  done  that  before   that. E:  Do  you  have  any  siblings? T:  Yeah,   one   little   sister.   She   goes   to   my   school   in   Germany. E:  Would  your  parents  approve  of  our  relationship? T:  Yeah. E:  Have  you  had  any  previous  girlfriends? T:  Yeah,   but   they’re   back   in   Germany.  A   long   time   ago. E:  Would  you  prefer  to  drive  a  motorcycle  or  a  car? T:  Car.   E:  What’s  your  favorite  food? T:  Crêpes. E:  How  many  kids  do  you  want? T:  Two  or  three. (,QDQ\SDUWLFXODUUDWLR"/LNHKRZPDQ\JLUOVDQG how  many  boys? T:  No,  I  have  no  clue. E:  Do  you  like  any  names?   T:  No,  no.  I  don’t  know. E:  Where  would  you  like  to  live? T:  Maybe  not  in  Germany,  Asia  maybe—or  America. E:  Do  you  want  to  travel?  Where? T:  I  am  very  interested  in  the  Asian  countries:  Thai-­ land,  Indonesia,  etc. E:  Do  you  have  any  last  words? T:  Yeah,  this  was  nice.

Features El  Bat:  How  do  you  think  the  date  went? T:  Good,  yeah. EB:  Any  comments  on  your  date  with  Emily? 7<HDKLWZDVP\¿UVWVSHHGGDWHDQGLWZDVLQWHU-­ esting.  I  have  never  done  something  like  that  before. Adam

(PLO\)LUVWTXHVWLRQRQDUHDO¿UVWGDWHZKDWZRXOG we  do? Adam:  My  city,  or-­-­ E:  Well,  at  Cate  School. A:   I   guess   we   would   go   to   Santa   Barbara.   I   would   hire  a  day  student,  Greg  or  Austin,  to  take  us  there. E:  At  what  time  would  we  go?  Six? A:  No.  Seven. E:  But  how  would  we  get  special  permission? A:  Wendy  MacMurray  and  I  are  tight. E:  What  would  we  do  for  our  one-­year  anniversary? A:   I   would   get   help   from   your   best   friend,   but   I   havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  planned  so  far  ahead. E:  Wait.  So  you  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  think  we  have  a  future? $:HGH¿QLWHO\KDYHDIXWXUHEXW,ZRXOGSODQLWVL[ months  before. E:  So  then  what  would  we  do  for  our  six-­month  an-­ niversary?   $:HZRXOGWDNHDZHHNHQGJRWRD/$²DFRQFHUW maybe. E:  How  would  we  get  there? A:  I  would  hire  a  day  student. E:  How  many  kids  do  you  want? A:  I  have  no  idea;;  I  am  thinking  about  getting  into   college  right  now.  How  many  kids  would  you  want? E:  Five.  Would  your  parents  approve  of  our  relation-­ ship? A:  Yeah.  Would  yours? E:  I  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  need  their  approval. A:  I  like  that. (:KDW ZDV \RXU ¿UVW LPSUHVVLRQ RI PH IUHVKPDQ year? A:  You  were  hanging  out  with  Annie,  I  think.  I  liked   both  of  you  at  some  point,  but  now  everything  is  dif-­ ferent. E:  Are  you  ok  with  not  living  in  Vegas  eventually? A:  Yeah. E:   Do   you   have   any   ideal   place   you   would   like   to   live  in? A:  Somewhere  we  could  see  the  ocean. E:  Is  it  ok  if  we  have  a  house  in  the  South  of  France? A:  Yeah,  you  can  have  everything  you  want.

E:  What  makes  you  better  than  the  other  candidates? $ :HOO ¿UVW RI DOO EDVNHWEDOO SOD\HUV LQ WKH 1%$ GRQ¶W PDNH VR PXFK PRQH\ VR -XVWLQ /XFFKHVVL LV not  such  a  great  choice.  I  would  be  able  to  see  you   PRUH WKDQ 7RELDV FDQ µFDXVH , OLYH LQ WKH 8QLWHG States.   Reggie   is   a   freshmen.   And   Willem,   well   I   GRQ¶WWKLQN\RX¶UHJRLQJWR¿QGVRPHWKLQJ\RXOLNH in  World  of  Warcraft.  So,  best  option:  right  here.

E:  Should  I  be  worried  that  that  romance  is  going  to   rekindle? 51R'H¿QLWHO\QRW R:  But  what  about  you?  Do  you  have  any  boyfriends   I  should  worry  about? E:  No,  no. R:  Come  onâ&#x20AC;¦ E:  No,  really. E:  What  would  your  ideal  holiday  vacation  be? El  Bat:  How  do  you  think  the  date  went? 5*RLQJGRZQWR6W/XFLD A:  Excellent. E:  Would  you  invite  your  family? )HUQDQGR LQWKHEDFNJURXQG 7KDWZDVVXFKTXRW-­ R:  Yeahâ&#x20AC;¦  if  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  want  me  to. able  material! E:  What   makes   you   better   than   all   the   other   candi-­ Adam:  I  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  speak  anything  but  quotes. dates? 5:HOO-XVWLQ/XFFKHVVL,¶PSUHWW\VXUHKH¶VFUD]\ Finally,   the   last   date   of   the   day:   Reggie   Sampson   µFDXVHKLVQDPH¶V/XFFKHVVL Adam  is  too  serious.  Tobias,  well,  heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  cool,  but  you   have  Reggie.  so... E:  Any  last  words?  They  better  be  goodâ&#x20AC;¦ 5 VLQJLQJ  0\ QDPHLV 5HJJLH , HDWP\ YHJJLHV and  if  you  get  with  me  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  have  everything. So,  Emily,  how  did  your  dates  go? (17KH\ZHQWUHDOO\TXLFNO\DW¿UVWEHFDXVHLWZDV only  six  minutes.  But,  I  really  feel  like  I  got  to  know   WKHP , GH¿QLWHO\ VHH SRWHQWLDO LQ DOO RI WKHP EXW WKHUHZHUHGH¿QLWHO\VRPHLVVXHVWKDWFDPHXSZLWK some.   I   am   worried   that   if   I   continued   with   Justin   /XFFKHVVLKLVHQWRXUDJHZRXOGDOZD\VEHLQWKHSLF-­ ture  and  I  would  never  get  any  alone  time.

¶ WKHIDVKLRQDEOHIUHVKPDQ E:  Hey.  So,  hi...Thanks  for  comingâ&#x20AC;¦ Reggie:  Hi. (:KDWZRXOGZHGRRQDUHDO¿UVWGDWH" R:   Well,   we   would   go   to   Rodeo   Drive.   We   would   ZDON LQWR 3UDGD \RX ZRXOG SLFN VRPHWKLQJ DQG , would  buy  it  for  you.  And  then  weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  go  to  Arigatoâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; you  like  sushi,  right? E:  But  who  would  drive  us? R:  My  sister. E:  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  our  one-­year  anniversary.  What  would  we  do? R:  Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  have  a  crazy  surprise  birthday  party.  Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d   JRWR/DV9HJDV$QGJRKLWVRPHQLJKWFOXEV,KDYH ins  with  club  owners. E:  How  many  kids  do  you  want? R:  Four. (,QDQ\VSHFL¿FUDWLR" 53UREDEO\WZRER\VDQGWZRJLUOV E:  Would  your  parents  approve  of  our  relationship? R:  Of  course  they  would. E:  Even  if  you  were  dating  an  older  woman? R:  Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  cool,  I  guess;;  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  done  it  before. E:  So,  you  have  a  lot  of  experience? R:  Well,  my  last  girlfriend  lived  in  Hawaii.   E:  So,  I  would  just  be  a  rebound? R:  No!  We  always  knew  that  relationship  was  going   to  come  to  an  end.


How  about  the  other  candidates? :HOO , OLNHG$GDP¶V FRQ¿GHQFH EXW , DP QRW VXUH I   want   to   enslave   other   Cate   students.   I   really   like   Tobiasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;   foreign   accent   and   how   he   has   experienced   a  lot  of  the  world.  But  I  know  that  heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  going  to  go   back  to  Germany  in  a  while,  so  I  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  want  to  get   too  attached.  And  then  Reggie,  heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  quite  a  catch,  but   I  am  not  sure  he  is  completely  over  his  ex-­girlfriend   in  Hawaii.   Have  you  made  up  your  mind  of  whom  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  going   to  choose? I  want  to  see  what  happens,  to  see  if  any  of  them  put   any   effort   to   continue.   I   wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   turn   them   down.   If  Justin  or  Reggie  put  any  effort  into  resolving  the   LVVXHVRIWKHLUHQWRXUDJHDQGH[JLUOIULHQG,¶GGH¿-­ nitely  consider  going  on  a  second  date.

Features Cate School Love Survey

an interview with Cece

Rachel  Pak  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;14  and  Danielle  Hanks  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;13

Meghan  Killea  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;13

 Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  that  time  of  year  again!  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  time  for  couples  to  cuddle  up  and  watch  romantic  movies,  for  single   guys  and  gals  to  seek  out  new  companions,  and  for  some  of  us  to  mope  on  the  couch  and  watch  Lifetime  while   VFDUÂżQJGRZQDEXFNHWRILFHFUHDP:KHWKHU\RXÂśUHVHDUFKLQJWDNHQRUVNHSWLFDODERXWORYH)HEUXDU\WK is  a  day  out  of  the  ordinary.  Cupid  goes  on  the  hunt  with  his  infamous  arrows,  and  who  knows  what  could   happen  this  Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Day?  Maybe  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  be  struck  by  his  lucky  lance  of  love  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  or  maybe  you  already  have   been,  and  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  just  hoping  that  special  someone  feels  the  same  way.  Do  you  have  a  sweetheart?  Want  a   VZHHWKHDUW"%RXJKWDER[RIWKHPGRZQDW&96":HSROOHG&DWHVWXGHQWVWRÂżQGRXWMXVWKRZPXFKORYH is  in  the  air  this  winter.

 This  weekend,  Cece  Schwennsen  took  some   time   away   from   grades   and   comments   to   answer   some  burning  questions. Q:  How  long  have  you  been  teaching? CC:  Twenty-­three  years.

Q:  Where  did  you  go  to  high  school? CC:  Dubuque,  Iowa.  I  learned  how  to  spell  the  townâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   name  before  I  could  spell  my  last  name.  Our  mascot   Have  you  ever  been  in  love?   7KHVOLPPDMRULW\RI&DWHVWXGHQWVDERXWKDYHEHHQLQORYHEHIRUHZKLOHKDYHRQO\KDGĂ&#x20AC;LJKW\ was  actually  a  ram.   crushes  brought  on  by  Cupidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  arrow.  However,  a  good  29.3%  have  never  been  hit  by  the  blind  marksman. Q:   What   are   the   biggest   differences   between   your     high   school   experience   and   the   experience   of   Cate   Do  you  have  a  Valentine  this  year?   /HWÂśVMXVWVD\WKDW9DOHQWLQHÂśV'D\ZLOOVRRQKDYHWREH6LQJOH3HRSOH$SSUHFLDWLRQ'D\IRUWKHZKR students? CC:  My  graduating  class  was  twice  the  student  popu-­ do  not  have  Valentines.  A  select  20.2%  of  students,  however,  do  have  a  special  someone. lation  at  Cate.  The  school  was  so  overcrowded  that    Which  is  your  preferred  date?   they  had  to  open  a  second  school. The  choices  were  â&#x20AC;&#x153;walks  on  the  beach,â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x153;a  movie,â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x153;dinner  by  candlelight,â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x153;paintballing,â&#x20AC;?  and  â&#x20AC;&#x153;a  romantic   MDPVHVVLRQ´Âł:DONVRQWKHEHDFK´ZDVWKHFOHDUZLQQHUZLWKRIVWXGHQWVÂł$PRYLH´VQDJJHGVHFRQG Q:  What  was  your  favorite  thing  to  do  in  high  school? third  place  went  to  â&#x20AC;&#x153;paintballing,â&#x20AC;?  fourth  to  â&#x20AC;&#x153;a  romantic  jam  session,â&#x20AC;?  and  last  to  â&#x20AC;&#x153;dinner  by  candlelight.â&#x20AC;?   &&3UREDEO\PXVLFDQGVSRUWV /RRNVOLNH&DUSEHDFKZLOOEHVZDUPLQJZLWKORYHELUGVFRPH)HEUXDU\WK Q:  Instruments? CC:   Saxophone.   I   had   to   walk   home   with   the   bari-­ Which  is  most  important  in  a  love  interest?   Âł3HUVRQDOLW\´LVWKHPRVWLPSRUWDQWWUDLWLQWKDWFHUWDLQVRPHERG\IRURIRXUFRPPXQLW\)RUDVHOHFW tone  sax  regularly.  I  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  know  if  you  know  how  big   22.0%,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;looksâ&#x20AC;?  are  what  catch  their  eyes,  and  then,  for  an  extremely  rare  seven  students,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;brainsâ&#x20AC;?  are  the   it   is,   but   I   would   walk   home   with   that   on   my   back   while  reading  a  book.  It  was  like  a  mile  and  a  half.   most  attractive  feature  in  a  crush.  We  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  know  if  this  is  supposed  to  imply  somethingâ&#x20AC;Ś My   sister   wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   walk   with   me   because   I   looked   Which  do  you  believe  in?   like  such  a  geek. /RYHDWÂżUVWVLJKWRURSSRVLWHVDWWUDFW"2UKRZDERXWQHLWKHU"$VWDJJHULQJRIVWXGHQWVGRQÂśWEX\DQ\ of  this  dated  baloney  and  nonsense  about  love.  However  16.2  %  of  students  believe  that  opposites  are  more   Q:  Sports? likely  to  attract,  just  like  protons  and  electrons.  20.2%  of  students  are  advocates  of  love  being  an  instanta-­ CC:  Softball,  basketball-­-­but  it  was  six  person.  It  was   the  weirdest  game  ever-­-­you  could  only  dribble  twice   neous,  magnetic  attraction. DQG>WKHUHZHUH@DOOWKHVHZHLUGUXOHV:KHQWKH\ÂżUVW How  is  having  a  relationship  at  Cate  compared  to  other  places? got  rid  of  it,  there  were  protests  across  the  state. 2QDVFDOHRIWREHLQJÂł+DUG´DQGEHLQJÂł(DV\´RIVWXGHQWVÂżQGWKDWLWLVKDUGIRUORYHWR VXUYLYHRQWKH0HVDZKLOHKDQJRXWVRPHZKHUHLQWKHPLGGOH$OXFN\WKUHHVWXGHQWVÂżQGWKDWDUHOD-­ Q:  Favorite  teacher  of  all  time? CC:  My  biology  teacher,  Mr.  Johnson.  He  was  old,   WLRQVKLSFDQĂ&#x20AC;RXULVKXSKHUHDQGRIVWXGHQWVÂżQGWKLVTXHVWLRQÂłQRWDSSOLFDEOH´ but   he   was   one   of   those   amazing   people   that   made   +RZLVÂżQGLQJVRPHRQHDW&DWHFRPSDUHGWRRWKHUSODFHV" you   learn   without   thinking   you   were   learning.   He   $JDLQRQWKHVDPHVFDOHRIWRRIVWXGHQWVLQGHVSDLUÂżQGLWKDUGWRÂżQGWKDWÂłVRPHRQH´DW&DWH SODQWHG DOO RI WKH QDWLYH ,RZD ZLOG Ă&#x20AC;RZHUV LQ KLV ZKLOHĂ&#x20AC;RDWEHWZHHQDQG7ZRVWXGHQWVRXWWKHUHÂżQGLWHDV\WRVSRWÂłWKHRQH´KHUHDQGRI backyard  that  we  would  go  visit.   VWXGHQWVÂżQGWKLVTXHVWLRQQRWDSSOLFDEOH Q:  What  are  some  things  that  have  changed  the  most    Are  we  more  attractive  as  a  school  compared  to  other  places? since  your  days  in  high  school? The  students  who  took  this  survey  were  all  over  the  board  with  this  question.  Due  to  the  sensitive  nature  of   CC:  I  think  that  a  lot  of  my  friends  had  the  same  sort   WKLVTXHVWLRQZHSXWWKLVRQDVFDOHRIWREHLQJÂł8PÂŤQR´EHLQJÂł´DQGEHLQJÂł:H$5( of  issues  that  kids  in  high  school  today  have.  I  bought   pretty.â&#x20AC;?  20.6%  of  students  said  â&#x20AC;&#x153;50-­50,â&#x20AC;?  some  good  looking  people  are  here  and  some  not  so  good  looking   P\ ÂżUVW FDOFXODWRU DV D JUDGXDWLRQ SUHVHQW XVLQJ SHRSOHWRRĂ&#x20AC;DWRXWVWDWHGWKDWZHZHUHQRWDQDWWUDFWLYHVFKRRO$WWKHVDPHWLPHRIVWXGHQWV money  from  my  aunt  and  uncle.  It  was  programma-­ proudly  stated  that  we  are  good  looking.  19.6%  of  students  were  hovering  between  1  and  5,  while  28.9%   ble,  but  only  if  you  had  it  plugged  in.  When  I  was  in   were  between  5  and  10. high  school,  my  grandmother  had  a  party  line.  Sev-­ HUDOSHRSOHXVHGWKHVDPHSKRQH3HRSOHFRXOGOLVWHQ   According  to  our  poll,  love  isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  doing  fantastically,  but  it  isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  dead.  Who  knows?  Maybe  this  year,   in  [on]  your  phone  calls  or  listen  to  other  peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.   &XSLGZLOOĂ&#x20AC;LQJDQDUURZLQ\RXUGLUHFWLRQ$OWKRXJKZHGLGQÂśWDVNIRUJHQGHULQWKLVVXUYH\LWZRXOGEH interesting  to  see  the  difference  between  girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  and  boysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  opinions.  


Valentine 's Day Across the World Susan  Kim  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;13     Aww,  are  you  forever  alone  this  Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Day?  Again?  Well,  to  rub  it   Saudi  Arabia in  your  face  a  bit,  here  are  ways  that  other  people  around  the  world  spend  their   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  not  sure  if  we  celebrate  it,  actually.â&#x20AC;? Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   day,   as   generalized   by   your   own   Cate   classmates...   and   also   some   Singles random  people  from  around  the  world,  because  thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  just  how  I  roll. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  going  out  with  my  hot  date.â&#x20AC;?  *Eyes  ex-­roommate,*  *Ex-­roommate  stares   Japan back  with  blank  expression.* â&#x20AC;&#x153;Well,  yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;know,  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  like  every  other  American  holiday  in  Japan.  The  Japanese  get   â&#x20AC;&#x153;...Video  games,  like  always.â&#x20AC;? really  excited  about  it,  like  with  all  the  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;rabu  rabuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  everywhere.  They  do  all  that   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Eat  some  cheap  on-­sale  candy.â&#x20AC;? sweet  stuff-­-­roses,  chocolate,  dates,  the  usual.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  really  not  that  different  from   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Go  buy  myself  some  candy  from  the  store,  because  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  forever  alone!  I  mean,   America...just  more...  excitement.  Yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;know.â&#x20AC;? itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  good  feeling  to  receive  candy,  even  if  it  is  from  yourself.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  going  to  have  a  pity  party  with  my  roommate.  With  lots  of  chocolate....  You   China know,  I  went  down  to  Carp  last  weekend  and  I  am  SO  ready.  Yeah.  100  packets  of   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  not  sure  what  people  do  as  a  whole,  but  back  at  my  old  school,  the  student   hot  cocoa,  this  is  going  to  be  an  awesome  Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Day...  alone...â&#x20AC;? FRXQFLOZRXOGVHOO9DOHQWLQHÂśVFDQG\DQGĂ&#x20AC;RZHUV7KHUHZHUHSLQNDQG\HOORZ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Think  about  how  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  singleâ&#x20AC;Ś  but  I  have  really  great  friends,  so  I  spend  time   ones  that  you  could  send  that  just  meant  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;friends,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;  so  a  lot  of  people  would  receive   with  them!  That  makes  it  good,  if  not  better.â&#x20AC;? and  exchange  roses.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;ŚAre  you  trying  to  tell  me  something?  Why  would  I  want  to  celebrate  that?!!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;ŚItâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  just  the  same  everywhere,  isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  it?â&#x20AC;? Internet Korea Âł 8K ZH FHOHEUDWH LW E\ JLYLQJ RXU FUXVKHVJLUOIULHQGVER\IULHQGVKXVEDQGV â&#x20AC;&#x153;Well  technically,  girls  are  supposed  to  give  guys  chocolates  on  Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Day,   wives  cards,  chocolates,  the  usual  stuff.â&#x20AC;? then   guys   are   supposed   to   give   them   chocolate   back   on   White   Day   (which   is   â&#x20AC;&#x153;In   England   we   just   do   the   norm,   give   presents   and   have   a   night/day  together   0DUFKWK ´ FHOHEUDWLQJWKH/859(´ What  happens  if  a  guy  doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  give  one  back? â&#x20AC;&#x153;North  said  it^  [referring  to  above  comment] â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;ŚHuh?  Sucks,  I  guess.  Then  you  can  do  Singles  Day!â&#x20AC;?  [April  14th]  *laughs* But  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  actually  spending  it  by  playing  Mass  Effect  3  Demo  and  sending  Sher-­ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Eat  Chinese-­but-­not-­actually  black  noodles,  crying  and  staring  at  the  sunsetâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;? lock  related  Valentines  to  North...â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  celebrating  singles  awareness  day  this  year  XDâ&#x20AC;? Switzerland â&#x20AC;&#x153;  I  stay  in  Malaysia,  and  we  mostly  celebrate  Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  by  buying  things  for   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Same  thing  as  usualâ&#x20AC;Ś?  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  not  really  sure.  Chocolates  and  roses,  right?  Except   loved  ones  and  getting  discount  coupons.  *coughcough*â&#x20AC;? maybe  better  chocolateâ&#x20AC;Ś?â&#x20AC;?


Ashley  Herbert  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;13

 .3RSKDVDOZD\VEHHQDELJKLWDWRXU,QWHUQDWLRQDO&OXEFRQYRFDWLRQVLWÂśVWKHVKRZWKDWLVDOZD\VVDYHGIRUODVWWKHVKRZWKDWJHWVWKHVSHFLDOOLJKWLQJ%XW my  question  is:  Why  is  this  music  so  transcendent?  What  about  it  makes  people  get  up  on  stage  in  front  of  the  entire  school,  and  dance  like  nobody  is  in  the  room?   More  importantly,  what  is  it  about  this  music  that  makes  300  or  so  people  in  a  theatre  in  the  middle  of  Carpinteria,  California  get  so  hyped  up?  In  a  school  where   a  large  percentage  of  the  population  is  Korean,  the  obvious  choice  to  seek  answers  from  was  be  no  other  than  the  non-­Korean  head  of  the  International  Club,  Faith   Donaldson.    %HIRUHZHEHJLQOHWÂśVJHWVRPHWKLQJVWUDLJKW.3RSVWDQGVIRU.RUHDQ3RS ,LQFOXGHWKLVIRUWKRVHZKRFRQVWDQWO\*RRJOHDEEUHYLDWLRQV DQGE\)DLWKÂśV GHÂżQLWLRQLVÂłDVXEJHQUHWKDWFRQVLVWVRISRSXODU.RUHDQDUWLVWV´ Q.  What  got  you  interested? $,WZDVQÂśWXQWLOP\IUHVKPDQ\HDUDW&DWHWKDW,KDGHYHUKHDUGRI.3RS:KRHYHUFRQÂżJXUHGURRPDVVLJQPHQWVPDGHPHQHLJKERUVZLWKWKUHHDZHVRPH.RUHDQV LQXSSHUKDOO/RQJ+RXVH$VZHEHFDPHUHDOO\JRRGIULHQGV,EHFDPHFXULRXVDERXWWKHLUK\SHRYHUWKHVHSHUIRUPHUVZLWKUDQGRPQDPHVDQGVRQJWLWOHV,FRXOGQÂśW SURQRXQFH7KHÂżUVWVRQJWKDWUHDOO\FDXJKWP\HDUZDVÂł7KLV)RRO´E\:RQGHU*LUOV,GLGQÂśWNQRZDZRUGRI.RUHDQEXW,OLNHGWKHVRQJVRPXFKWKDW,MXVWUROOHG ZLWKLW,WZDVQÂśWORQJEHIRUH,ZDVÂłVLQJLQJ´DORQJDQGOHDUQLQJSKUDVHVOLNHÂłVDODQJKDH´ Âł,ORYH\RX´ $VP\L7XQHVOLEUDU\EHJDQWRĂ&#x20AC;RRGZLWKWKLVQHZJHQUH RQHWKLQJEHFDPHFOHDUZKLOH,ÂśYHDOZD\VORYHGPXVLF.3RSZDVQRZP\KREE\,WÂśVEHHQOLNHWKLVIRUDOPRVWIRXU\HDUVDQG,FRXOGQÂśWLPDJLQHLWDQ\RWKHUZD\ Q.  What  songs/artists  should  we  look  out  for? A.  Freshman  year  was  all  about  2EN1,  and  theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  still  hot  today!  Their  songs,  like  â&#x20AC;&#x153;I  Am  The  Bestâ&#x20AC;?  have  a  carefree  party  feel  to  them.  Sophomore  year,  I  was  in-­ WURGXFHGWRDQHQWLUHQHZVSHFWUXPER\EDQGV30DQG6+,1HHDUHUHDOO\JUHDWIRUWKHLUYLVXDOO\DSSHDOLQJWHFKQLTXHVDQGIXQHQHUJ\$0ÂśVÂł7KLV6RQJ´DQG 4MENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Baby  Babyâ&#x20AC;?  are  perfect  for  those  emotional  singing-­your-­heart-­out  moments  that  helped  me  overcome  some  sophomore  slumps.  My  ultimate  favorite  art-­ LVWKDQGVGRZQZRXOGKDYHWREH7DH\DQJ 7KLVVHQWHQFHFRXQWVDVRQHRIWKHKLGGHQEDWV +LVXQLTXHFKRUHRJUDSK\DQGKLVVRQJVDUHYHU\VLQFHUHDQGKDYHGHSWK to  them.  I  highly  suggest  watching  the  amazing  music  videos  to  Taeyangâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  â&#x20AC;&#x153;I  Need  A  Girlâ&#x20AC;?  and  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wedding  Dress.â&#x20AC;?  $IWHUP\LQWHUYLHZZLWK)DLWK,GHFLGHGWRYLVLW<RXWXEHDQGVHHDERXW7DH\DQJIRUP\VHOI2ND\ZRZ\HV+LVYLGHRVUHPLQGPHRI8VKHUEDFNLQWKHÂśV ,FDQXQGHUVWDQGZK\)DLWKDYHUDJHVHLJKWKRXUVDZHHNOLVWHQLQJWRWKLVPXVLFDQGWKDWLQFOXGHVWKHWLPHVZKHQVKHLVGRLQJ)UHQFKKRPHZRUNÂł.3RSLVDFWXDOO\ easier  to  concentrate  to  than  French  music,â&#x20AC;?  she  says.  While  viewing  music  videos,  I  also  noticed  the  very  high  energy-­-­I  mean,  these  artists  feel  the  music,  and  they   dress  up  in  order  to  express  the  meaning  of  the  song!  You  can  practically  guess  the  title  by  what  they  are  wearing.  Faith  mentioned  to  expect  this  same  energy  during   ,QWHUQDWLRQDO&RQYRFDWLRQDQG,ÂśPVXUHWKDWDVDOZD\VWKH.3RSSHUIRUPDQFHZLOOVXFFHHGLQEULQJLQJWKHKRXVHGRZQ

Entertainment Interview with the Emcee


Fernando  Hurtado  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12

Anonymous  He   was   the   cutest   boy   in   school-­-­at   least,   I   thought   he   was-­-­and   he   asked  me  out  on  a  date.  I  was  sitting  in  the  library,  reading,  when  I  felt  a  tap  on   my  shoulder.  I  turned  around  and  he  asked  if  he  could  sit  next  to  me.  We  were   talking  about  a  movie  we  had  just  watched  when  he  randomly  said,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do  you   want  to  go  out  on  Saturday?â&#x20AC;?  It  took  me  a  while  to  process  the  question,  but   there  was  no  way  I  could  say  no.  I  mean,  he  was  gorgeous!     Now,  you  can  imagine  how  excited  I  was;Íž  I  expected  the  best  date  a   girl  could  imagine.  He  would  pick  me  up,  we  would  go  to  dinner,  then  a  movie,   and  then  end  with  the  perfect  good  night  kiss.  In  all  honesty,  I  was  willing  to   go  anywhere  as  long  as  I  got  my  good  night  kiss.  Clearly,  I  was  asking  for  too   much.  For  starters,  my  dad  had  to  drop  me  off  at  his  house  and  his  mom  drove   us  to  the  movie  theater.  His  motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  presence  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  bother  me  that  much  until   she  started  mentioning  kids  and  marriage.  That  was  too  much.     When   she   dropped   us   off,   I   thought   maybe   now   my   fairy   tale   date   would  begin.  Actually,  it  only  got  worse.  When  we  went  to  the  ticket  booth,  he   ORRNHGDWPHDQGVDLGÂł<RXJHWWKHWLFNHWV,ÂśOOJHWWKHIRRG´$WÂżUVW,GLGQÂśW think  much  of  it  until  he  asked  to  borrow  some  money  because  he  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  have   enough  to  pay  for  our  popcorn.  I  was  trying  to  control  myself,  to  not  get  angry.   I  thought,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Maybe  heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  planning  something  for  after  the  movie.â&#x20AC;?   The  movie  was  terrible!  And  to  top  it  off,  as  we  left  the  theater,  he  said,   â&#x20AC;&#x153;This  was  fun;Íž  we  should  do  it  again.  My  momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  here,  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  see  you  on  Monday,â&#x20AC;?   DQGJDYHPHKLJKÂżYH1RWRQO\GLGKHQRWJLYHPHP\NLVVJRRGQLJKWKHOHIW me  stranded  at  the  theater!  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  care  how  handsome  he  was;Íž  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  ever   want  to  see  him  again.  That  was,  by  far,  the  worst  date  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  ever  been  on.

 I   recently   sat   down   with   myself   to   ask   myself   a   few   questions   about   what  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  like  to  be  Cateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  premier  emcee.  Aside  from  it  being  the  most  exciting   interview  I  have  ever  conducted,  it  was  also  the  most  enriching.     To  make  myself  feel  more  at  home,  I  interviewed  myself  in  the  theatre,   where  my  talent  shines  the  brightest.  It  began  with  a  few  kick-­start  questions:   How  did  I  get  into  the  business?  How  long  have  I  been  in  the  business  for?  As   it  turns  out,  I  have  been  in  the  business  for  a  solid  year  now.  My  career  started   on  a  fateful  February  afternoon  when  I  got  an  e-­mail  from  Mr.  Michelson  ask-­ ing  me  if  I  would  be  interested  in  emceeing  the  2011  Cate  Singer/Songwriterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   Convocation.  For  me,  that  request  was  totally  unexpected;Íž  I  had  never  emceed   anything  before.  After  what  I  think  were  a  couple  of  successful  jokes  and  anec-­ dotes  that  Thursday  night,  I  believed  that  my  stint  was  over.  That  was,  of  course,   until  D.  Day  contacted  my  agent,  Mr.  Hurtado,  asking  if  I  would  be  interested  in   HPFHHLQJWKH:LQWHU'DQFH&RQYRFDWLRQ7KDWZDVZKHQ,NQHZ,KDGRIÂżFLDOO\ made  it  into  the  industry.   However,  everything  wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  always  rose-­colored  and  pollen-­bearing  for   me.  Between  March  of  2011  and  January  of  2012,  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  book  any  jobs.  The   ÂżUVWLQGLFDWRURIP\XQHPSOR\PHQWZDVZKHQ,JRWWKHHTXLYDOHQWRIDQ2VFDU snub  for  an  emcee;Íž  I  wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  asked  to  host  the  International  Convocation  of  2011.   As  I  interviewed  myself,  asking  for  candid  responses,  I  decided  not  to  lie.  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d   been  hurt.  I  felt  as  if  the  whole  world  had  collapsed  onto  me.  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  internation-­ al!â&#x20AC;?  I  told  myself.  I  knew  I  had  been  either  been  replaced  or  become  irrelevant   in  mainstream  entertainment.  Or  both.   In  January,  my  mourning  ended  when  I  was  called  upon  by  one  of  my   most   loyal   clients.   Mr.   Michelson   once   again   asked   me   to   emcee   the   Singer/ Songwriterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Convocation.  And  here  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  quote  what  I  said  with  candor:  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  be   honest  with  myself,  I  was  a  little  hesitant  to  say  yes.  I  hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  emceed  for  over   nine  months,  and  at  that  point  I  felt  like  a  pregnant  mother  about  to  give  birth. 2Q-DQXDU\,ÂżQDOO\ZHQWLQWRODERUDWSP%XWWKDWODERUGLGQÂśW\LHOG any   8-­pound   baby.   That   night,   I   gave   birth   to   a   roomful   of   excited   audience   members,  laughter,  and  a  night  to  remember.â&#x20AC;?   It  is  with  cloud-­trespassing  hopes  that  the  staff  of  El  Batidor  and  I  wish   myself   luck   in   conquering   the   entertainment   industry,   one   Madonna   mic   at   a   time.

 Granted,  I  was  only  thirteen  years  old  and  possibly  the  most  incapable   person  of  pulling  off  a  date  unscathed,  but  even  I  was  surprised  by  how  sour   things  turned  in  a  matter  of  seconds.   I  was  an  eighth  grader  back  then,  so  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  have  the  luxury  of  taking   my  love  interest  out  on  a  romantic  date  to  Applebyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  and  had  to  settle  for  my   VFKRROÂśVFDIHWHULD7KHVHWWLQJLWVHOIZDVEDGHQRXJK3LFWXUHWKLV6W\URIRDP plates,  tater  tots  in  a  Ziploc  bag,  soggy  pizza,  and  two  romantic  milk  cartons.   We  sat  at  a  table  by  ourselves  and  talkedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;oh,  wait,  we  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.  I  couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  come   up  with  anything  to  say  when  the  giggles  of  150  seventh  and  eighth  graders   were  the  soundtrack  to  my  meal.  So  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  talk,  and  she  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  talk,  but  she  did   do  something  elseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;she  burped.  Now,  I  accept  that  everyone  burps,  but  I  canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   WDNH\RXUEXUSDVDÂżUVWLPSUHVVLRQ(YHQPRUHVR,FDQDFFHSWDQRGRUOHVVEXUS thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  not  in  my  face,  but  I  canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  accept  a  burp  that  smells  like  a  fart  and  reaches   my  noseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;which  is  why  I  gagged.  After  I  gagged,  she  cried,  left  the  cafeteria,   and  I  never  saw  her  again.  Well,  technically  I  did  see  her,  like  in  passing,  but  I   QHYHUVDZVDZKHUDJDLQ/LNH,VDZKHUDVVKHZHQWWRFODVVEXW,QHYHUWDONHG to  her  again,  and  I  still  judge  her  based  on  the  way  she  burped  that  Monday   morning.  


Entertainment Underdog Love Songs that Will Make You Shiver Lisa  Huang  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gotta  Have  Youâ&#x20AC;?  -­-­  The  Weepies 7KH:HHSLHVHVVHQWLDOWRDQ\PL[UHJDUGLQJ9DOHQWLQHVVLJQLÂżFDQWRWKHUVDQG WKHELJ/29(7KLVRQHKDVEHHQVWXFNLQP\KHDGIRUWKHORQJHVWWLPH:DWFK out!  You  wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  be  able  to  stop  humming  it  in  class.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Somebody  That  I  Used  To  Knowâ&#x20AC;?  -­  Gotye  feat.  Kimbra Only   the   best   of   the   best.  That   song   you   hear   kids   chanting   all   over   campus?   This  is  it.  The  fabulous  â&#x20AC;&#x153;But  you  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  have  to  cut  me  out...  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  even  need   your  love...â&#x20AC;?  is  kind  of  an  anti-­romantic  song.  It  was  so  good  I  just  had  to  put  it   on.  Watch  the  video-­-­maybe  someone  will  do  something  of  the  same  sort  for  Art   5HOD\WKLV\HDU KLQWKLQW 

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Your  Songâ&#x20AC;?  -­-­  Ewan  MacGregor What?   Not   Elton   John...   but   Ewan   McGregorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s,   from   Moulin   Rouge.   No   one   can  ever  really  beat  Elton  Johnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  original,  but  this  comes  pretty  close.  Watch  the   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our  Dealâ&#x20AC;?  -­-­  Best  Coast Moulin  Rouge  video  with  a  box  of  chocolates  and  tissues.  Guaranteed  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  shed   Watch.  The.  Music.  Video.  A  cross  between  Grease  and  Romeo  and  Juliet,  this  is   a  tear  in  awe  of  its  fabulousness.   quite  possibly  the  best  music  video  created  in  the  past  year  or  so.  It  was  directed   E\ 'UHZ %DUU\PRUH DQG VWDUV &KORH 0RUHW] 0LUDQGD &RVJURYH 7\OHU 3RVH\ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Virginia  Moonâ&#x20AC;?  -­-­-­  Foo  Fighters  feat.  Norah  Jones and  more. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  not  everyday  that  you  see  an  alternative  rock  band  collaborate  with  one  of  the   best  jazz  vocalists  out  there.  Dave  Grohlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  voice  matches  Norah  Jonesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  impec-­ â&#x20AC;&#x153;All  You  Get  from  Love  is  a  Love  Songâ&#x20AC;?  -­-­  the  Carpenters cably.  You  will  melt,  I  promise. &/$66,& ,I \RX FRQVLGHU \RXUVHOI DQ LQGLH PXVLF IDQDWLF \RX PXVW OLVWHQ WR the  Carpenters.  All  your  favorite  artists  get  their  inspiration  from  them,  and  with   â&#x20AC;&#x153;For  Youâ&#x20AC;?  -­-­  Angus  and  Julia  Stone good  reason! SO  GOOD  doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  even  begin  to  describe  the  sister-­brother  duo  of,  well,  Angus   and  Julia  Stone.  Their  perfection  is  the  reason  why  Kel  and  Grant  perform  their   â&#x20AC;&#x153;No  Oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Gonna  Love  Youâ&#x20AC;?  -­  Band  of  Horses VRQJVDOOWKHWLPHÂł)RU<RX´LVQRWDVZHOONQRZQDVVD\Âł%LJ-HW3ODQH´EXW $Q(ULQ*ULIÂżQUHFRPPHQGDWLRQ,QDQXWVKHOOKLVYRLFHLVPDJLFDO7KLVLVRQH the  underdog  is  almost  always  more  satisfying.  Kel,  Grant,  something  to  add  to   of  the  bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  cheesier  songs,  which  only  makes  it  that  much  better. your  next  set  list.   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Poison  and  Wineâ&#x20AC;?  -­-­  Civil  Wars â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  Got  the  Love  (XX  Remix)â&#x20AC;?  -­-­  the  XX  feat.  Florence  &  the  Machine And,  to  wrap  it  all  up,  the  Civil  Wars.  Nominated  for  two  Grammys  this  year  with   One  of  the  most  soothing  remixes  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  ever  hear...  the  XX  balances  their  motif   WKHIDEXORXV-R\:LOOLDPVDQG-RKQ3DXO:KLWH H[WUDSOXVORRNVOLNH-RKQQ\ of  a  tight,  pulsating  bass  with  Florenceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  incredible  voice.  Who  wouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  ever   'HSS ,I\RXWKLQNWKHUHFRUGHGYHUVLRQLVJRRGOLVWHQWRWKHOLYHUHFRUGLQJV thought  the  ping  of  Florence  and  the  Machineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  harp  strings  would  blend  so  well   7HDUVRIMR\PHOWLQJLQWRDSXGGOHRIKDSS\JRRSDQGWKHIHHOLQJRIĂ&#x20AC;\LQJGRQÂśW in  electronic  music?  This  is  something  you  really  have  to  hear.   even  begin  to  describe  the  wave  of  emotions  that  will  wash  over  you  upon  listen-­ ing  to  it.

Comparing countries with tobias

Chloe  King  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;14

atic  Western   movies   can   agree   withâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;everything   is  bigger  in  America.  For  example,  Tobias  points   out,   cars,   highways,   stores,   and   even   packs   of   food   are   larger.   Bigger   is   not   necessarily   better,   thoughâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;big  food  leads  to  big  people,  which,  with   the  increasing  sizes  of  Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  pants,  isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  ex-­ actly  good  news.       Tobiasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  hobbies  include  climbing,  sailing,   rowing,  mountain  biking,  hiking,  and  running.  Af-­ ter  being  asked  what  new  interests  he  has  discov-­ ered  upon  arriving  at  Cate,  he  answered  that  out-­ doors  allows  him  to  continue  many  of  his  favorite   hobbies,   but   he   certainly   canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   try   all   the   sports   at  Cate.  Neither  can  we,  Tobias!  What  he  misses   most  about  home,  which  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  sure  we  can  all  sym-­ pathize  with  when  we  travel,  is  the  food  (typical   %DYDULDQIRRGLQSDUWLFXODU $PRQJRWKHUWKLQJV his  favorite  class  at  Cate  is  chemistry  (kudos  to  Dr.   .HOORJJ²ZKR ZRXOGQÂśW HQMR\ KLV FODVVHV"  DQG his  most  beloved  travel  destinations  include  Aus-­ tria,   Thailand,   and   Singapore.   Hopefully   every-­ one,   students   and   faculty   alike,   will   get   to   know   the   remarkable   individual   that   is   Tobias   Stumpp   during  his  short  time  here  in  our  community.  

 Tobias   Stumpp   gave   an   interview   the   other   day,   and   despite   the   overwhelming   desire   to  only  discuss  all  the  potential  things  one  could   ask   about   a   different   and   interesting   country,   there   turned   out   to   be   just   as   many   interesting   things  about  our  fascinating  exchange  student  as   there  were  about  the  country  he  came  from.  To-­ ELDVIRURQHFDQÂśWVHHPWRSODFHDÂżQJHURQWKH big  answer  to  one  burning  question:  How  differ-­ HQW UHDOO\ LV WKH 8QLWHG 6WDWHV IURP *HUPDQ\" From   an   academic   standpoint,   there   isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   much   that   is   different.   He   could   come   up   with   a   few   DQVZHUV WKRXJK , ÂżUVW DVNHG KLP DERXW WHOHYL-­ sion.  American  TV  is  notoriously  bad-­-­black  and   white  politics  in  the  hyped  up  evening  news,  re-­ markable   daytime   talk   shows   with   rather   unre-­ markable   people,   and,   of   course,   the   obnoxious   commercials  in  between.  Is  TV  in  Germany  any   better?  He  answered  yesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;those  black  and  white   evening  news  channels  are  few  and  far  between,   and  the  small  amount  of  them  reduces  their  am-­ biguity.  They  arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  as  biased  as  our  CNN  or  Fox   News.  In  addition,  he  says  the  biggest  difference   between  the  two  countries  is  one  most  emblem-­



Undocumented Rural Migrant Workers in the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region: Economics, Public Policy, and the Anthropogenic Imperative

Matthew  Rodman  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;14

Ryan  Keem  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12 Some  of  the  most  exciting  convocations  we  have  over  the  course  of  the  year  are   the  ones  in  which  we  get  to  see  students  performing  pieces  that  theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  worked   on  for  a  long  time.  One  of  my  favorites  this  year  was  the  Winter  Dance  Convo-­ cation.  There  were  a  lot  of  exciting  and  intense  dances  that  caught  my  attention.   The  convocation  as  a  whole  was  spectacular;Íž  hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  an  overview  of  how  it  went:


 The  multifariousness  of  lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  range  of  them  notwithstanding,  natal  di-­ Maddie  (Solo) DJQRVHVVKDUHDWOHDVWRQHSRLQWLQWKHLURQWRORJ\WKHLUQRYHOW\ GDUHLWEHVDLG  6KHPRYHGJUDFHIXOO\DQGKHUĂ&#x20AC;H[LELOLW\ZDVVKRZFDVHGZHOODVVKHUROOHGDQG tends  to  pall,  if  not  to  jade.  Countless  souls,  indeed,  have  acculturated  themselves   leaped  around  the  stage. to   a   culture   of   resignation,   from   which   ennui   percolates,   and   have   learned   to   OLYHXQGHUWKHVSHFWHURIWKHHWHUQDO)RRWPDQZKRVHHPVDVRSRULÂżFSHUVRQLÂżHG Kaitlyn  and  Jamie  (Trench-­coat  Performance) leering  at  the  end  of  a  dark  nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  path.  But  if  one  objects  not  to  the  Footmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   Kaitlyn  and  Jamie  are  an  excellent  pairing  when  it  comes  to  dancing  duets.  They   holding  of  his  coat  in  that  marked  manner,  the  snickering  often  does  gnaw.   understand   each   otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   dance   forms.   One   of   my   favorite   moments   was   when   Enter  Ding  Yun.  He  works  a  constant  shift,  raising  poultry  and  performing  routine   Kaitlyn  was  slowly  let  down  to  the  ground  by  Jamie. maintenance  at  Guilin-­headquartered  Gubo  Foods  Co.  Not  that  he  did  anything  to   merit  the  circumstance.  Dingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  natal  diagnosis  came  with  his  birthplace  and  birth   Tamysn  and  Maddie  (Kiss  With  A  Fist) Exciting  and  fast  paced.  I  really  liked  the  end  when  the  curtains  closed  as  Tam-­ time,  both  of  which  infected  him  with  the  disease  of  poverty.  He  is  faring  increas-­ V\QSXQFKHG0DGGLH,DOVROLNHGWKHFRVWXPHV PHWDOOLFVSDQGH[KRRGLHV DQG ingly  well,  though,  after  leaving  the  Guangxi  countryside  for  a  job  in  the  city  of   Guilin.  Gradually,  Ding  is  climbing  the  socioeconomic  ladder  and  providing  his   thought  they  were  really  interesting. children  with  a  better  life.  And  his  employer  couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  be  happier:  ever  since  inex-­ Dani  and  Shyamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Piece pensive  workers  like  Ding  have  been  employed,  the  management  could  afford  to   Haunting.  Creepy.  Eerie.  Fantastic.  I  loved  the  short  monologues  done  by  both  of   pay  itself  higher  salaries,  while  Gubo  Foods  could  sell  its  products  at  a  reduced   them.  The  red  cloth  and  the  way  that  Dani  and  Shyam  walked  into  it  were  excit-­ price.  The  availability  of  cheap  labor  has  also  granted  the  company  the  capabil-­ ing. ity  to  expand,  so  it  invested  in  land  upgrades,  ordered  new  equipment,  and  hired   additional  supervisors.  Mr.  Gubo  has  even  risen  in  the  nomenklatura  of  the  Com-­ Most  of  the  Company  (Beautiful  Girls) I  liked  the  old-­fashioned  feel  to  this  piece.  The  black  and  white  contrast  worked   PXQLVW3DUW\7KLVVHHPVDZLQZLQVLWXDWLRQEXWDODVDFDYHDW'LQJ<XQDUULYHG well  with  the  dancersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  movements.  It  was  also  great  seeing  most  of  the  dancers   LQ*XLOLQVDQV&&3DSSURYHGKXNRXRUGDQZHL:KHWKHURQHUHDGVWKH*ORULRXV *XLOLQ3HRSOHÂśV'DLO\RUZDWFKHV&KLQD&HQWUDO7HOHYLVLRQ*XDQJ[LWKH*XDQJ[L SHUIRUPLQJWRJHWKHU,WÂżOOHGWKHVWDJHDQGDOORZHGIRUDORWWRKDSSHQDWRQFH Zhuang  Autonomous  Region  media  does  not  quite  paint  a  charming  picture  of   Senior  Boysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  Performance PLJUDQW ZRUNHUV LQ JHQHUDO PXFK OHVV XQGRFXPHQWHG RQHV 8QGHUO\LQJ WKLV LV I  liked  the  use  of  strength  and  lifts.  It  was  also  bittersweet  to  see  all  of  the  senior   the  preconceived  notion  that  such  workers  are  detrimental  to  urban  areas  and  to   soys  together  for  a  performance  showcasing  just  them.  It  was  fantastic. 3UHVLGHQW+X-LQWDRÂśVJRDORIDÂłKDUPRQLRXVVRFLHW\´LQWKH3HRSOHÂśV5HSXEOLF Although  there  is  meager  supporting  evidence,  illegal  rural  migrant  workers  are   Kaitlyn  and  Jamie  (Hip  Hop  Performance) Once  again,  they  showed  how  perfect  they  are  together  in  a  duet.  They  looked   invariably  denounced  as  leeches  of  city  workersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  fruits  of  labor  and  portrayed  as   unfair  competition  that  steals  the  rightful  jobs  of  city-­dwellers.  Meanwhile,  the   happy  and  used  the  stage  for  all  they  could.  I  love  them  as  partners. QXPHURXVZD\VLQZKLFKWKH\EHQHÂżWWKHXUEDQHFRQRP\ÂąIURPFRXQWHUZHLJKW-­ Zach  and  Alissaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Performance LQJLQĂ&#x20AC;DWLRQWRDPHOLRUDWLQJWKHVLGHHIIHFWVRIWKHRQHFKLOGSROLF\ÂąDUHVSH-­ I  really  liked  the  French  music,  the  gentle  movements,  and  the  way  the  cloth  that   ciously  ignored.  Ding  Yun,  then,  is  to  be  commended  for  refusing  the  hand  of  the   Zach   held  Alissa   with   was   handled.  The   correlation   between   their   movements   Footman,  and  one  only  wishes  that  the  snickering  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  or  phobia  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  directed  at  him   and  the  music  was  very  exciting. from  his  fellow  Guangxi  Zhuang  Autonomous  Region  residents  would  cease.   To  begin,  let  us  examine  in  greater  detail  the  ways  in  which  undocumented  rural   Tamsyn  Walkerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Performance  (Solo) migrant  workers  contribute  positively  to  the  urban  Guangxi  economy.  Although   She  moved  with  the  music  and  seemed  very  excited.  I  loved  the  use  of  the  walk-­ WKHH[WHQWRIWKLVLVXQTXDQWLÂżDEOHWKHPRVWREYLRXVLVWKDWWKHLUORZZDJHVPHDQ ways   leading   up   to   the   stage   in   the   introduction.   The   music   was   exciting   and   ORZHUSULFHVDQGORZHULQĂ&#x20AC;DWLRQIRUFRQVXPHUV*LYHQWKDW&KLQDÂśVFHQWUDOEDQN Tamsyn  brought  something  special  and  unique  to  it  with  the  way  that  she  danced.   KDVUHFHQWO\UDLVHGGLVFRXQWUDWHVWREDWWOHLQĂ&#x20AC;DWLRQZKLOHWKHÂżIWKSOHQDU\VHVVLRQ In  the  end  it  came  out  very  passionately. RIWKHWK&HQWUDO&RPPLWWHHRIWKH&RPPXQLVW3DUW\DQQRXQFHGLQLWV7ZHOIWK )LYH<HDU3ODQWKDWLQFUHDVLQJGRPHVWLFFRQVXPSWLRQLVDSULPDU\HFRQRPLFRE-­ Company  Piece The  lone  person  in  the  chair  was  an  interesting  start  to  the  piece.  The  way  the   jective,  this  is  all  the  more  pertinent.  On  a  national  level,  migrant  workers,  includ-­ other  dancers  made  their  way  onstage  was  also  very  unique.  The  story  that  went   ing  undocumented  ones,  facilitate  the  emergence  of  the  Chinese  economy  from   over  the  music  was  interesting  and  exciting.  The  covering  of  the  dancersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  eyes   one  dependent  on  exports  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  and  thus  one  contingent  upon  foreign  consumers  and   and  random  breakouts  of  unique  dance  moves  also  caught  my  attention.  I  liked   relegated  to  the  low  end  of  the  value-­added  spectrum  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  to  one  that  is  domestically   the  use  of  the  gender  groups  that  supported  Jamie  when  he  seemed  weak.  The   driven.  But  if  such  macro  events  appear  removed  from  the  provincial  perspec-­ tive,  let  us  focus  on  the  micro  factors  relevant  to,  say,  the  Guilin  everyman.  In   ÂżQDOMXPSRIIWKHVWDJHZDVDJUHDWÂżQDOHWRWKHHQWLUHFRQYRFDWLRQ


Entertainment addition  to  letting  more  money  remain  in  con-­ sumersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  wallets  per  product  purchased,  lower   prices  made  possible  by  cheap  migrant  labor   also   spur   more   innovation,   production,   and   thereby  employment.  For  instance,  a  cheaper   automobile   will   induce   more   demand   for   it,   leading  to  companiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  producing  more  of  said   automobile   and   ultimately   competing   to   im-­ prove  it  in  order  to  increase  their  share  in  this   newly  enlarged  market.  In  corroboration,  the   National  Bureau  of  Statistics  of  China  reports   that  the  annual  growth  rate  of  employment  in   Guangxiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   metropolitan   areas   generated   by   consumption   from   1990   to   2000   was   3.8%,   while  consumer  spending  accounted  for  41%   of   employment   in   2010.   Furthermore,   un-­ documented  migrant  workers  themselves  also   consume  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  they  spend  money  in  the  cities,  as   opposed   to   their   rural   homes.  An   externality   of   this   is   that   undocumented   mi-­ JUDQWVERRVWKRPHYDOXHVDVODQGLVDÂżQLWHUHVRXUFH<HWWKLVLVRIQRFRQFHUQ WRPRVWXUEDQ*XDQJ[LFLWL]HQVVLQFHDVWXQQLQJO\KLJK LQD&KLQHVHFRQWH[W  RI*XDQJ[LFLW\GZHOOHUVRZQKRPHVDVRIDQGKLJKHUKRPHSULFHV only   make   those   homeowners   wealthier.   On   the   other   hand,   there   is   virtually   nonexistent  homeownership  among  undocumented  rural  migrant  workers  due  to   the  legal  processes  involved,  the  higher  interest  rates  borne  by  subprime  custom-­ HUVVLPSOHÂżQDQFLDOFRQVWUDLQWVDQGWKHIDFWWKDWDKRPHZRXOGEHDQXQZLVH asset  to  have  in  case  of  deportation.  More  broadly,  academic  research  the  eco-­ QRPLFHIIHFWVRIPLJUDQWZRUNHUVRQ&KLQHVHFLWLHVFDQEHEULHĂ&#x20AC;\VXPPDUL]HGE\ economistsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  opinions  on  the  matter:  an  overwhelming  majority  has  consistently   been  in  favor  of  migrant  workers,  whether  documented  or  not.  For  example,  in  a   Chinese  Economist  Association  poll  conducted  in  the  1990s  of  the  most  eminent   HFRQRPLVWVRIWKHWLPHDJUHHGWKDWÂł>LOOHJDOUXUDOPLJUDQWZRUNHUV@KDYHD positive  impact  [on  the  urban  Chinese  economy].  In  a  2006  Wall  Street  Journal   survey  of  American  economists,  44  of  46  believed  the  same.  Most  recently,  Gov-­ HUQRURIWKH3HRSOHÂśV%DQNRI&KLQD:X0DLNHVWDWHGLQWKDWÂłWKHUHLVOLWWOH GRXEWWKDWXQDXWKRUL]HGWKDWLVLOOHJDOUXUDOPLJUDQWODERUKDVPDGHDVLJQLÂżFDQW contribution  to  the  growth  of  our  economy.â&#x20AC;?  On  balance,  that  undocumented  rural   migrant  workers  have  a  positive  economic  impact  is  categorical. :KLOH XQGRFXPHQWHG *XDQJ[L PLJUDQWV DV D PDUNHW IRUFH DOUHDG\ EHQHÂżW WKH provinceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  urban  economy,  it  is  but  a  snapshot  of  their  future  importance.  Cur-­ rently,   the   world   faces   demographic   predicaments:  Thomas   Malthus   was   right   where  he  mustnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  be  and  wrong  where  a  Malthusian  scenario  may  now  be  prefer-­ able.  Most  poor  regions  have  exceedingly  high  fertility  rates  that  inhibit  modern-­ ization.  Simultaneously,  precariously  low  birth  rates  in  many  developed  nations   threaten  to  overwhelm  retirement  schemes  and  social  safety  nets  as  well  as  retard   *'3JURZWK<HWVHYHUDORIWKHIRUPHU6RYLHWUHSXEOLFVDVLGH&KLQDXQLTXHO\ will  soon  reap  the  last  of  its  demographic  dividends  and  may  grow  gray  before   it   grows   rich.  Thanks   to   the   one-­child   policy,   Chinese   fertility   rates   are   below   replacement  level,  the  labor  force  is  predicted  to  start  shrinking  as  soon  as  2014,   and   the   worker-­retiree   ratio   is   becoming   increasingly   skewed.   This   gives   rise   to   so-­called   â&#x20AC;&#x153;sandwiched   generationsâ&#x20AC;?   of   citizens   who,   due   to   both   a   shallow   QDWLRQDO VDIHW\ QHW SURYLQFLDO RU PXQLFLSDO RQHV GRQÂśW H[LVW LQ *XDQJ[L  DQG to   Confucian   dictates,   must   take   care   of   their   parents,   their   progeny,   and   pos-­ VLEO\WKHLUJUDQGSDUHQWV LHJHQHUDWLRQVEHWZHHQZKLFKWKH\DUHVDQGZLFKHG  Moreover,  Chinese  modernization  is  being  driven  primarily  by  its  cities  and  their   H[SDQVLRQ<HWIHUWLOLW\UDWHVDUHHYHQORZHULQXUEDQDUHDV+HQFHDQLQĂ&#x20AC;X[RI undocumented  rural  migrants  only  serves  to  alleviate  the  demographic  problems,   particularly  since  most  migrants  are  youthful  and  eager  to  work.  Although  the   one-­child  policy  has  produced  fewer  headaches  for  the  Guangxi  Zhuang  Autono-­ mous  Region  because  the  policy  is  enforced  with  greater  rigor  for  Han  Chinese   than  for  Zhuang  minorities,  the  aforementioned  holds  true  for  the  province,  espe-­ cially  as  Guangxi  cities  like  Guilin  and  Nanning  are  among  the  fastest-­growing   in  China.


 Still,  unmoved  opponents  of  undocumented  rural  migrant  workers  in  the   Guangxi  Zhuang  Autonomous  Region  will  predictably  raise  this  point  of  conten-­ WLRQHYHQLIZHJUDQWWKDWVXFKPLJUDQWVDUHEHQHÂżFLDOIRUWKHXUEDQHFRQRP\DV DZKROHGRWKH\QRWPHUHO\EHQHÂżWWKRVHDWWKHWRS"6XUHO\FKHDSODERULVDERRQ for  avaricious  corporations,  but  how  would  such  dishonest  competition  help  the   average  or  the  poor  city-­dweller?  The  crux  of  this  argument  is  summarized  hand-­ ily  by  local  pundit  Tian  Zaimin:  â&#x20AC;&#x153;I  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  think  you  need  a  professor  to  understand   that  when  you  import  substantial  cheap  labor,  it  displaces  city  workers.â&#x20AC;?  Although   7LDQPD\QRWFDUHIRUSURIHVVRUV3URIHVVRU&KX%R:HQRI3HNLQJ8QLYHUVLW\KDV this  to  say  after  extended  research  on  the  issue:  â&#x20AC;&#x153;evidence  that  illegal  migrants   harm  opportunities  in  the  cities  is  scant.â&#x20AC;?  One  of  Chuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  numerous  studies  focused   RQWKHSHULRGIROORZLQJWKH+RQJ.RQJ+DQGRYHULQZKHQWKHFLW\UHYHUWHG WR&KLQHVHFRQWUROIURP%ULWLVK&URZQ&RORQ\VWDWXV)URPWRDS-­ proximately  225,000  unskilled  Mainland  Chinese,  many  of  them  undocumented,   HQWHUHG+RQJ.RQJÂśVODERUPDUNHWLQFUHDVLQJWKHZRUNIRUFHE\VRPH<HW Chu   found   virtually   no   effect   on   unemployment   rates   either   in   general   or   for   ORZVNLOOHG+RQJ.RQJZRUNHUV$V3URIHVVRU&KXGHWDLOHG+RQJ.RQJLVDFLW\ dominated  by  the  service  and  information  industries,  with  particular  strengths  as   DÂżQDQFLDOFHQWHUDQGDWUDGLQJKXE7KHPDMRULW\RI+RQJ.RQJÂśVZRUNIRUFHLV highly  skilled  and  therefore  needs  not  compete  with  the  immigrants.  This  can  be   extrapolated  to  a  Guangxi  context.  While  Guilin  and  Nanning  are  not  as  advanced   as  Hong  Kong,  the  skill  gap  between  residents  of  those  cities  and  undocumented   rural  migrants  is  comparable  to  that  between  Hong  Kongers  and  Mainland  im-­ PLJUDQWV,QGHHGWKH&RPPXQLVW3DUW\DOORWVWKHPDMRULW\RILWVHGXFDWLRQEXGJHW to  cities  even  though  most  Chinese  are  still  rural,  and  in  Guangxi,  institutions  of   WHUWLDU\HGXFDWLRQH[LVWVROHO\LQWKHFLWLHV7KHGLYHUJHQFHWKHUHIRUHLVVLJQLÂż-­ cant  and  only  seems  to  be  widening  as  growth  and  economies  of  scale  do  their   work.  Still,  prudence  and  fairness  demand  that  Guangxiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  unskilled  city-­dwellers   comparable  to  undocumented  rural  migrants  be  accounted  for.  Even  though  ille-­ gal  migrants  do  compete  for  the  same  jobs  as  unskilled  city-­dwellers,  we  must  not   IDOOYLFWLPWRWKHFODVVLF/XPSRI/DERU)DOODF\ZKLFKFRQWHQGVWKDWWKHDPRXQW of   work   is   static   by   assuming   employment   as   an   exogenous   variable.   In   other   words,  employment  is  not  a  zero-­sum  game,  and  illegal  rural  migrants  actually   create  opportunities  for  even  unskilled  city  residents.  In  fact,  many  businesses   would  not  exist  or  would  have  to  downsize  if  not  for  such  migrants.  Recall  Ding   Yun  and  Gubo  Foods  Co.  Because  of  the  availability  of  cheap  labor,  Gubo  Foods   GLGZHOODQGH[SDQGHG)LUVWDVWKHFRPSDQ\ZRXOGEHVLJQLÂżFDQWO\OHVVSURÂżW-­ able   without   illegal   migrants,   the   unskilled   Guilin   workers   who   toil   alongside   Ding  would  also  have  to  be  laid  off.  Second,  as  Gubo  Foods  may  not  even  exist   without  a  supply  of  cheap  labor,  Ding  is,  to  a  large  degree,  competing  with  work-­ ers  in  the  countryside  rather  than  with  city-­dwellers.  Had  Ding  not  come  over  on   the  train,  the  foodstuffs  probably  would  have.  Third,  when  the  company  made  or-­ ders  for  advanced  equipment,  it  helped  to  maintain  or  create  jobs  for  skilled  city   residents.  When  it  hired  more  managers,  jobs  were  created  for  educated  Guilin   people.  There  is,  therefore,  a  net  increase  in  job  creation.  Fourth,  a  basic  concept   LQ HFRQRPLFV NQRZQ DV WKH /XGGLWH )DOODF\ LV DW SOD\7KLV IDOODF\ ZDV RULJL-­ nally  used  to  explain  why  advances  in  productivity  made  possible  by  technology   would  not  decrease  employment.  As  economist  Alex  Tabarrok  summarizes,  when   costs  of  goods  decline,  demand  for  the  goods  increases.  As  a  result,  the  demand   for  workers  to  produce  these  goods  will  not  decrease.  This  very  much  applies  to   Guangxiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  undocumented  rural  migrants,  as  their  low  wages  translate  into  low   prices  for  consumers.  After  examining  a  multitude  of  factors,  we  cannot  escape   the  conclusion  that  undocumented  rural  migrant  workers  do  not  increase  the  un-­ employment  rates  of  unskilled  Guangxi  city  workers,  while  they  actually  have  a   modest  effect  in  creating  jobs  for  skilled  city-­dwellers.   In  closing,  let  it  be  said  in  no  equivocal  terms  that  the  allegations  made   against   undocumented   rural   migrant   workers   in   the   Guangxi   Zhuang  Autono-­ mous  Region  are  false.  Meanwhile,  the  ways  in  which  they  positively  contribute   to  the  urban  and  provincial  economy  have  been  understated  at  best.  If  we  are  to   trust   academic   research   over   baseless   demagogic   assumptions,   it   will   become   readily  apparent  that  they  have  a  net  positive  impact  on  employment,  alleviate   demographic  problems,  and  keep  prices  low  and  the  economy  growing.  

Sport Team Reviews Justin  Kim  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;13

On being a JV athlete Michael  Castaneda  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12

Girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  Varsity  Soccer Captains  Annie   Weis   and   Emily   Nguyen   are   very   happy   with   the   amount   of   heart  that  all  the  girls  put  into  every  single  game  and  practice  every  day.  They   have  had  nail-­biting  losses  to  much  bigger  teams  such  as  Santa  Clara,  Grace   Brethren,   and   Vasquez.   They   play   with   persistence   and   have   put   on   a   late   comeback   show   many   times   over   the   course   of   their   arduous   season,   giving   rise  to  spectacular  goals  such  as  the  Annie  Weis  Free-­kick  goal  from  25  yards   RXWDJDLQVW9DVTXH]7KRXJKWKH\ORVWWKHLUÂłDZD\´JDPHWR/DJXQDWKH/DG\ 5DPVVTXDVKHGWKH7RDGVDWKRPHRQ6DWXUGD\  WRHYHQXSWKHLUUHFRUGDQG DOVRWDNHDOHDSWRZDUGVWKH&RQGRU/HDJXH&KDPSLRQVKLS %HVLGHVRIFRXUVH WKHUHJXODUFDWKDUWLFUHOHDVHWKDWZHDOOIHHOIURPDJRRGWRDGVTXDVKLQJ

6FRWW6LQFODLUVHQLRUDQGPHPEHURIRQO\IRXUYDUVLW\VTXDGVLVEHVWNQRZQDV WKH-92O\PSLDQ What  is  it  like  being  a  perennial  JV  athlete? Honestly,  I  think  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  more  fun  than  playing  on  varsity.  While  the  varsity  squads   are  of  a  much  higher  quality  and  intensity,  the  JV  level  is  still  competitive  while   being  laidback.  I  enjoy  being  the  â&#x20AC;&#x153;appetizerâ&#x20AC;?  for  the  varsity  games. What  has  been  you  favorite  JV  team? I  would  have  to  say  that  the  JV  soccer  team  during  the  2010-­2011  year  was  my   IDYRULWHWHDP7KHVHQLRUVZHKDG <DK:HKQHU ZHUHVRPHRIEHVWJX\VWREH around  and  our  team  was  actually  quite  skilled.  Of  course  our  quality  coaches   6ZDLQHUDQG3DXO\'DUHIXQWREHDURXQGDQGWKH\PDNHXVDOOWKHEHWWHU$QG ZHKDGDVKDUHG&RQGRU/HDJXHWLWOHWKDW\HDU

Boysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  Basketball This  season,  the  menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  basketball  team  accomplished  things  that  have  rarely  or   never  been  done  before.  In  the  preseason,  Cate  Rams  beat  Carpinteria  for  the   ÂżUVWWLPHLQ\HDUVLQDQRYHUWLPHWKULOOHU0RUHRYHU&DWHEHDW%HVDQW+LOOD school  that  has  consistently  dominated  the  league  with  talent  from  Cameroon.   Notably,  Thys  Northup  once  again  has  had  an  outstanding  season,  putting  the   team  on  his  back  day  in  and  day  out.  Every  player  on  the  team  has  improved   his  game.   Their  most  memorable  quote  from  this  season  is: Spencer  Shapiro:  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Can  someone  scratch  my  cast  for  me?â&#x20AC;? Thacher  is  the  teamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  biggest  rival,  having  closely  lost  to  them  away.  By  the   time  you  read  this,  the  Cateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  position  will  have  been  determined.

What  is  your  fondest  JV  memory? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll   go   with   the   victory   at   Thacher   last   year.   We   played   hard,   beat   Carson   7KDFKHUFDSWDLQ DQGKDGDJUHDWWHDPZLQ:HVTXDVKHGWKHPWRDGV Any  advice  for  rising  JV  athletes? Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  be  afraid  to  be  on  JV.  It  shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  be  a  stigma  of  embarrassment  but  a  sign   of  excellence.  You  are  a  rising  Cate  athlete!  Work  hard,  and  maybe  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  be  on   YDUVLW\QH[W\HDU 8QOLNHPH


sports Girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  Varsity  Basketball 'DQLHOOH Âł'0RQH\´ *UD\ KDV ÂżQDOO\ clawed  her  way  out  of  her  shell  and  be-­ come   the   tenacious   player   we   were   all   KRSLQJIRU$OORIWKH/DG\5DPVÂśORVV-­ es   have   been   close   with   the   exception   RI WZR JDPHV WKHLU ÂżUVW DJDLQVW 3URYL-­ GHQFH +DOO DQG WKHLU ÂżUVW DJDLQVW &DUS In  the  next  game,  they  will  be  looking  to   squash  the  toads  in  order  to  make  some   room  for  themselves  in  the  playoff  hunt.     Their  season  has  been  successful  â&#x20AC;&#x153;most-­ ly   because   this   team   feels   more   like   a   family  than  just  a  group  of  random  girls   forced  to  spend  hours  on  end  with  each   other  six  out  of  seven  days  a  week,â&#x20AC;?  says   Girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  Varsity  Water  Polo Captain  Grace  Dickman. The  girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  varsity  water  polo  team  has  had  a  successful  season  with  bits  of  heart-­ Squash break  including  intense,  close  losses  to  strong  teams  like  San  Ynez  and  our  cross-­ The  Squash  team  has  been  on  the  road  as  usual,  bringing  home  much  success,  in-­ town  rivals,  the  Carpinteria  Warriors.  Otherwise,  they  have  seen  much  action  in   cluding  the  astounding  undefeated  record  Bowen  Baker  still  holds  for  the  season.   WKHSRROOHDGWRFRQYLQFLQJYLFWRULHVSURGXFLQJVFRUHVOLNHDQG With  a  transition  of  coaches,  the  team  has  continued  Cateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  remarkable  ratio  of   7KHLUYRFDOVHQLRUFDSWDLQ/HODWKH:DOOKDVEHHQFRQVLVWHQWO\SXWWLQJWKHWHDP games  won  to  games  lost,  competing  in  places  as  far  away  as    San  Francisco  and   RQKHUEDFNPDNLQJVSHFWDFXODUVDYHVZLWKFDWOLNHUHĂ&#x20AC;H[HVLQWKHZDWHU)RUWX-­ 3RUWODQG-XQLRU)HOL[3DVDURZFRPPHQWVWKDWÂłHYHU\RQHVHHPVWREHLQEHWWHU nately  for  the  team,  they  have  seen  much  more  than  just  glimmers  of  hope  and   VKDSHSUREDEO\EHFDXVHRIWKHPRUHLQWHQVLÂżHGFRQGLWLRQLQJWKDWZHGRWKLVVHD-­ talent  from  many  of  the  underclassmen,  including  Chloe  King,  Caroline  Mont-­ son,â&#x20AC;?  and  that  â&#x20AC;&#x153;even  though  Squash  is  an  individual  competition  and  not  strictly   JRPHU\DQG6RSKLD6RULDQR:LWKDQDOPRVWHYHQUHFRUG  WKHJLUOVORRNWR a  team  sport,  the  team  gets  along  incredibly  well  and  is  fun  to  be  around  on  the   improve  against  Oaks  Christian,  a  much-­anticipated  upset  that  we  would  all  like   long  road  trips  that  we  go  on  frequently.â&#x20AC;? to  see.


What sport should you do this spring Vanessa  LizĂĄrraga  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12

Boysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  Varsity  Soccer  Update The  boysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  varsity  soccer  team  has  its  own  silly  rituals.  We  always  meet  in  the   locker  room  no  matter  what.  And  while  all  of  us  get  dressed  for  the  game,  and   ZKLOH)LUHVWRQHDQG/H\/H\DUHVODSSLQJHDFKRWKHUDQGSXVKLQJ7\OHU'RXJODV in  the  back,  the  mostly  sane  rest  of  the  team  is  casually  listening  to  the  words  of   LQVSLUDWLRQWKDW.DW\3HUU\SXWLQWRKHUVRQJV7KHFRDFKHVXVXDOO\FRPHLQDERXW ÂżYHPLQXWHVEHIRUHZHKDYHWRKLWWKHSLWFKDQGUHPLQGXVRIRXUJDPHSODQDQG usually  our  formation  and  starting  line  up.  Our  motto  this  year  has  been  â&#x20AC;&#x153;One   game  at  a  timeâ&#x20AC;?  which  really  suits  our  situation,  where  the  Thacher  game  (away   RQ FDQVWLOOGHWHUPLQHWKHOHDGIRUWKH&RQGRU/HDJXH:HKDYHEHHQFRQ-­ stantly  reminded  by  our  injury-­ridden  squad  that  we  must  play  our  type  of  soccer   and  play  our  hardest  even  when  we  are  without  some  of  our  players  in  some  of   our  toughest  games.  The  boysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  varsity  soccer  team  also  has  multiple  rules,  Rule   Number   One   being   â&#x20AC;&#x153;All   goals   are   for   E.N.â&#x20AC;?  We   now   donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   condone   the   usual   practice  of  â&#x20AC;&#x153;beating  up  on  the  freshmen,â&#x20AC;?  which  is  good  news  for  the  four  fresh-­ men  on  the  team  this  year.  Our  goal  is  to  go  all  the  way  to  the  Regionals  (well  into   6SULQJ%UHDN ZKLFKZRXOGXOWLPDWHO\SXWXVDWWKHWRSRIWKHVWDWH


sports Thirds Soccer Matthew  Rodman  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;14  2XUVFKRROLVNQRZQIRULWVH[FHOOHQWVRFFHUSURJUDP3HRSOHKHDUDERXW the  victories  and  accolades  garnered  by  our  menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  varsity  team,  but  we  rarely   hear  about  our  jolly  menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  thirds  team  (with  the  exception  of  Coach  Kelloggâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   FDSWLYDWLQJ DFFRXQW RI RXU 7KDFKHU VKRZGRZQ  $V \RXÂśOO ÂżQG RXW WKRXJK thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  lot  to  be  said  about  this  team.  7KLUGVVRFFHULVGHÂżQLWHO\DQHQWHUWDLQLQJJURXSZLWK.HOORJJGHVFULE-­ LQJLWDVÂłDJRRI\UDJWDJEXQFKRIPLVÂżWV´ZKRDUHKDYLQJDJRRGWLPHDQG learning  to  play.  As  the  team  manager,  I  have  to  agree  with  Kellogg  and  say  that   theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  been  learning  at  a  quick  rate  and  having  fun  the  entire  time.  They  can   XVXDOO\EHVSRWWHGDWRSWKHEDVHEDOOÂżHOGSDVVLQJEORFNLQJDQGVFRULQJJRDOV 2WKHUWLPHVWKH\DUHVFULPPDJLQJRQDELJJHUÂżHOGRUSOD\LQJVRPHRWKHUWHDPV on  campus.   Two  of  the  best-­known  battles  that  occurred  are  thirds  soccer  vs.  Fit-­ ness  and  thirds  soccer  vs.  womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  JV  soccer.  When  thirds  soccer  played  Fit-­ ness,  both  sides  pushed  themselves  to  the  limit.  And  though  the  battle  was  well-­ IRXJKW)LWQHVVGHIHDWHGWKLUGVVRFFHULQWKHHQG  $OLWWOHZKLOHODWHUWKLUGV soccer   took   on   a   game   against   womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   JV   soccer.   But,   in   this   game,   thirds   VRFFHUHQGHGXSZLQQLQJWKHPDWFKHDUQLQJLWVÂżUVWZLQRIWKHVHDVRQ Time  has  passed  now,  and  the  winter  sports  season  is  just  about  over  for  most   WHDPV1HYHUWKHOHVV,UHFHQWO\VDWGRZQZLWK1LN3DMRXKRQHRIWKHVRSKRPRUH players  on  the  team  and  a  team  captain,  and  asked  him  a  few  questions  about   how  everything  was  going  with  thirds  soccer.  This  is  how  the  interview  went:

Coach''S Corner Eliza  Giles  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;13   Coaches  Jana  Ransom  and  Mr.  Masker  have  been  silently  building  one   of  the  most  underrated  teams  on  campus:  girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  JV  basketball.  Maybe  you  hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   heard,  but  these  fourteen  spirited  girls  have  racked  up  six  wins  this  season!  To   instruct   this   ever   improving   team,   Co-­Coach   Jim   Masker   uses   his   basketball   H[SHULHQFH ,NQRZZLWKKLVKHLJKW,ZDVVXUSULVHGWRR IURPKLJKVFKRRODQG college  as  well  as  his  experience  working  alongside  many  great  Cate  basketball   coaches  over  the  past  twenty-­three  years.  On  the  other  hand,  Coach  Jana  is  in   KHUÂżUVWVHDVRQRIFRDFKLQJDW&DWHEXWOLNHWKHSURVKHZDVZKHQVKHSOD\HG in  high  school,  she  has  guided  and  â&#x20AC;&#x153;counseledâ&#x20AC;?  the  girls  through  their  winning   season.  This  duo  has  immensely  enjoyed  watching  the  players  improve  while   keeping  a  good-­humored  disposition.  The  dedicated  players  live  by  the  motto   â&#x20AC;&#x153;always  classy  on  the  courtâ&#x20AC;?  and  balance  tenacity  with  sportsmanship.    Both   coaches   have   fostered   what   they   say   is   their   girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;   biggest   strength-­-­commit-­ ment  and  camaraderie  within  the  team-­-­and  look  forward  to  using  this  attitude   and  their  skill  to  round  off  the  season  with  two  wins  over  the  Toads.  What  is   another  goal  for  GJVB?  Mr.  Masker  says,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Seeing  Jean  Shen  dunk  the  ball  at   some  point  during  the  season!â&#x20AC;?  Good  luck,  Jean,  and  go  JV  basketball!   I  may  be  biased,  but  I  believe  that  Coach  Holmes  and  Coach  Wood  are   the  best  Girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  Varsity  Soccer  coaches  at  Cate.  Mr.  Wood  has  a  wealth  of  ex-­ perience,  having  played  soccer  both  in  college  and  on  his  company  team  as  an   adult  in  Tokyo.  He  has  applied  his  knowledge  of  every  aspect  of  the  game  since   KLVÂżUVW\HDUDW&DWHLQDQGKDVFRDFKHGDOPRVWHYHU\VRFFHUWHDPDWWKH VFKRRO7KH+ROPHV:RRGWHDPÂżUVWFDPHWRWKHÂżHOGLQWKHVHDVRQDQG WRRNWKH&RQGRU/HDJXHE\VWRUP0UV+ROPHVFRPSOHPHQWHG&RDFK:RRGÂśV booming  motivation  and  enthusiasm  with  her  genius  and  determined  presence.   +HDG&RDFK+ROPHVKDVEHHQOLYLQJDQGEUHDWKLQJVRFFHUHYHUVLQFHWKHÂżUVW \HDUDJLUOVÂśWHDPZDVLQLWLDWHGLQKHUKRPHWRZQLQ)URPWKHUHVKHSOD\HG on  her  high  school  team  and  in  college  at  Colby.  Soccer  season  is  something   they  both  look  forward  to  every  year,  and  they  have  immensely  enjoyed  the  de-­ sire  to  learn  and  resiliency  found  in  this  yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  squad  of  mixed  experience.  The   team  started  the  season  with  a  tournament  as  a  baseline  for  progress,  and  the   girls  took  the  opportunity  and  from  then  on  made  each  a  game  a  collective  ef-­ fort  with  no  giving  up.  For  practice,  the  coaches  say  that  their  favorite  and  most   effective  drill  is  the  recovery  drill  to  strengthen  the  girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  ball  movement  and   communication.  They  also  enjoy,  and  are  skilled  at,  coming  up  with  innovative   new  drills,  such  as  dynamic  stretching  and  â&#x20AC;&#x153;garbage  manâ&#x20AC;?  to  avoid  repetition.   These  are  dedicated  and  caring  coaches  that  look  forward  to  practice  daily  and,   DVDOZD\VKDYHKLJKKRSHVIRUWKHWHDPÂżQLVKLQJWKHLQWHUOHDJXHVHDVRQVWURQJ as  Condor  Champions  while  staying  healthy  in  order  to  go  further  into  the  com-­ SHWLWLYHSOD\RIIV*RRGOXFNÂżQLVKLQJRXWWKHVHDVRQJLUOVÂśYDUVLW\VRFFHUDQG thank  you  for  your  committed  coaching,  Coach  Holmes  and  Coach  Wood!

Matthew:  How  do  you  like  thirds  soccer  this  year? 3DMRXK,WÂśVJUHDW,ORYHHYHU\RQHRQWKHWHDPDQGZHÂśUHDOOOXFN\WRKDYH.HO-­ logg  as  a  coach. Matthew:  How  does  it  compare  to  last  year? 3DMRXK:HOOXQIRUWXQDWHO\ZHÂśUHQRWZLQQLQJDVPDQ\JDPHVDVODVW\HDU%XW after  all,  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  thirds,  where  we  all  come  to  learn  the  game  of  soccer. Matthew:  Howâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  our  team  compared  to  last  year? 3DMRXK2XUWHDPLVJUHDW3HRSOHWKLV\HDUDUHFRPLQJLQZLWKWKHPHQWDOLW\ that  they  want  to  learn  soccer.  Though  weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  not  winning  as  many  games  as  last   year,  everyone  knows  that  after  a  strong  year  with  Kellogg,  we  will  be  a  much   stronger  soccer  team.   I  also  got  to  talk  with  Coach  Kellogg  about  thirds  soccer.  He  was  ener-­ getic  and  excited  when  it  came  to  talking  about  thirds  soccer  (what  he  calls  â&#x20AC;&#x153;The   7UH\´  Matthew:  How  do  you  like  coaching  thirds  this  year? Kellogg:  I  love  it.    Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  starting  to  come  together  as  a  team,  which  is  really   gratifying. Matthew:  Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  different  between  coaching  boys  and  coaching  girls? Kellogg:   Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re   really   not   that   different   at   all,   actually.     Our   goals   are   the   VDPHGHYHORSLQJVNLOOVDQGÂżWQHVVZKLOHOHDUQLQJWRZRUNWRJHWKHUDQGKDYLQJ a  good  time.     Matthew:  Are   you   looking   forward   to   our   game   against   Thacher   coming   up   soon? Kellogg:   I   love   playing   those   guys.   Comparable   programs   are   hard   for   us   to   ÂżQGDQGWKH\ÂśUHULJKWDWWKHVDPHOHYHODVZHDUHDQGKDYHWKHVDPHYDOXHV 7KHLUFRDFK DOVRDSK\VLFVWHDFKHU LVDJUHDWJX\DQGWKHLUNLGVDUHRXWWKHUH to  have  fun  and  compete  hard. Also,  they  cry  bitter  tears  when  we  beat  them.    8QIRUWXQDWHO\ RQ )HEUXDU\ VW ZKHQ &DWHÂśV WKLUGV WHDP SOD\HG Thacherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s,  the  toads  did  not  cry  bitter  tears.  Despite  our  playersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  admirable  ef-­ forts,  Thacher  came  out  on  top  with  a  score  of  6-­0.  A  notable  mention  goes  to   3HWHU.LPWKHVWDUVZHHSHUZKRZDVLQMXUHGLQWKLVJDPHDQGDOVRWR1LFN Burns   and   James  Armstrong,   the   goalies   who   made   many   saves,   keeping   the   score  a  lot  lower  than  it  could  have  been.


Love at First Sight  Whether  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  across  a  crowded  room,  in  between  cars  zipping  along  the   street  between  you,  or  after  you  bump  into  each  other  on  the  way  down  the  hall,   DOOLWWDNHVLVDVSOLWVHFRQGIRU\RXUH\HVWRPHHW²DQGERRP7KDWÂśVLW/RYHDW ÂżUVWVLJKW:HDUHWDXJKWWREHOLHYHLQLWWRKRSHIRULWWR\HDUQIRULWZLWKWKH help   of   books,   stories,   and   moviesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Romeo   and   Juliet,   &LQGHUHOOD   The   Note-­ ERRN/HV0LVpUDEOHV7KH/LWWOH0HUPDLG7KLQJV,+DWH$ERXW<RX(GZDUG 6FLVVRUKDQGV%LJ)LVK:DOO(â&#x20AC;&#x201D;the  list  goes  on.  Many  of  us  write  it  off,  though,   DQGFDWHJRUL]HLWDVDVXEMHFWRQO\ÂżWIRUDPRYLHDWD\HDUROGJLUOÂśVVOXPEHU partyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and  about  as  close  to  realistic  as  her  chances  of  actually  becoming  Mrs.   5REHUW3DWWLQVRQ   But,  hopeless  romantics,  never  fear!  There  are  stories  and,  to  some  ex-­ WHQW VFLHQWLÂżF HYLGHQFH RQ \RXU VLGH 6FLHQWLVWV KDYH IRXQG WKDW SKHURPRQHV ÂłVFHQW´VLJQDOVWKDW\RXUERG\UHOHDVHVQDWXUDOO\ DFWXDOO\LQĂ&#x20AC;XHQFHÂżUVWLPSUHV-­ sions  and  interpersonal  relationships.  For  example,  you  might  be  more  attracted   to  someone  purely  because  you  like  the  way  he  or  she  â&#x20AC;&#x153;smellsâ&#x20AC;?  on  a  subconscious   level.  This  fact,  of  course,  has  already  been  exploited,  and  there  are  companies   that  sell  bottles  of  pheromones  or,  as  they  put  it,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;the  secret  weapon  of  attraction.â&#x20AC;?   <HS\RXFDQHVVHQWLDOO\EX\ORYHDWÂżUVWVLJKW²RUVRWKH\VD\   To   further   understand   this   complex   issue,   I   took   to   the   streets.   Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   ULJKW,DVNHG&DWHÂśVYHU\ÂżQHVWZKDWWKH\WKLQNRIORYHDWÂżUVWVLJKW7KHUHDUH some  who  have  no  doubts  about  the  subject.  Caitlin  Cain,  for  one,  does  not  be-­ lieve  in  it.    â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  just  no  way  you  could  fall  in  love  with  someone  the  very   ÂżUVWWLPH\RXVHHWKDWSHUVRQ´VKHVD\V6UWD3DQDGHURWKRXJKGRHVQRWDJUHH â&#x20AC;&#x153;I  believe  in  it  100%,â&#x20AC;?  she  says.  â&#x20AC;&#x153;You  canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  just  see  the  person  though,  you  have  

to  look  into  that  personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  eyes,  as  they  are  the  window  to  the  soul,  and  you  have   to  look  into  them  for  at  least  a  minute  and  a  half.    Just  kidding.    But  I  really  do   believe  in  it.â&#x20AC;?  I  also  asked  Grace  Dickman  what  she  thought,  but  before  I  could   HYHQJHWWKHÂłDWÂżUVWVLJKW´SDUWRXWVKHMXPSHGLQZLWKÂł/RYH"+HOOQR:HOO except  for  Ryan  Gosling,  of  course.  We  have  true  love.â&#x20AC;?   And   then   there   were   those   who   think   the   truth   lies   somewhere   in   the   PLGGOHÂł,WGHÂżQLWHO\H[LVWV´6HxRU8UL]DUVD\VÂłEXWLWÂśVOLNHDZLOGĂ&#x20AC;RZHU²LW can  only  survive  in  the  wilderness.  Also  because  if  you  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  take  care  of  it,  it   will  die.    You  have  to  nurture  it  and  take  care  of  it  in  order  for  it  to  become  true   ORYH\RXFDQEXLOGDOLIHRQ´(ULN/RZHDGGVÂł,WKLQNLWH[LVWVDQGKDSSHQVDOO the  time,  but  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  false  love.  It  can  turn  into  real  love  though.â&#x20AC;?  Ms.  Woehr  ex-­ SODLQVÂł,GRQÂśWEHOLHYHLQ/29(DWÂżUVWVLJKWEXW,GREHOLHYHVRPHSHRSOHKDYH DQLQVWDQWDWWUDFWLRQ,FHUWDLQO\IHOWVRPHWKLQJWKHÂżUVWWLPH,VDZ0RFKHOWKDW, hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  felt  before  and  havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  felt  since.  I  think  the  memory  of  those  intense  feel-­ ings  while  we  were  getting  to  know  each  other  has  helped  us  get  through  more   challenging  times  in  our  relationship.â&#x20AC;?    ,QWKHHQGZKHWKHURUQRW\RXEHOLHYHLQORYHDWÂżUVWVLJKWGHSHQGVRQ \RXUGHÂżQLWLRQRIORYH7KHUHZLOODOZD\VEHWKRVHRIXVZKRWKLQNWKHZKROH WKLQJLVDEXQFKRIĂ&#x20AC;XIIWKDWWKHPHGLDDQGFRPSDQLHVWU\WRVHOOXVLQRUGHUWR make  money,  and  then  there  will  be  those  of  us  who  will  always  keep  an  eye  (or   DQRVH RXWIRURXU5RPHRRU-XOLHW6RWKLV)HEUXDU\LI\RXÂśUHORRNLQJIRUORYH perhaps  you  should  look  into  investing  in  some  pheromones  or  keeping  a  vase   IXOORIZDWHUFORVHE\LQFDVH\RXÂżQG\RXUVHOIZLWKVRPHZLOGĂ&#x20AC;RZHUV

SOPA and PIPA  On  January  18,  2012,  the  English  Wikipedia   DQG DQ HVWLPDWHG  RWKHU ZHEVLWHV FRRUGLQDWHG D VHUYLFH EODFNRXW SURWHVWLQJ 623$ DQG LWV 6HQDWH FRXQWHUSDUW 3,3$ 2I FRXUVH ZH DOO NQRZ WKDW ZH were  unable  to  use  Wikipedia  on  that  day,  but  most  of   us  probably  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  know  the  reasons  behind  the  black-­ RXWRUHYHQZKDW623$DQG3,3$VWDQGIRU  623$VWDQGVIRUWKH6WRS2QOLQH3LUDF\$FW 2QOLQH SLUDF\ LV GHÂżQHG DV WKH XQDXWKRUL]HG UHSUR-­ duction,   distribution,   and/or   performance   of   copy-­ ULJKWHGPDWHULDOVIURPWKH,QWHUQHW623$WKH+RXVH version,   applies   to   both   domestic   and   foreign   web-­ sites.   If   this   bill   had   passed,   copyright   holders   and   the  Justice  department  would  have  been  allowed  to   seek   court   orders   against   websites   associated   with  

Sydney  Read  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;13

copyright  infringement.   The   entire   website   would   be   taken   down   if   the   court   order   was   granted.   The   court   would   not   even   need   to   hear   a   defense   from   the  website  before  issuing  its  ruling.  The  entire  web-­ site  could  be  condemned  without  a  trial  or  traditional   court  hearing.    3,3$ RU WKH 3URWHFW ,3$FW LV WDUJHWHG WR-­ wards   foreign   websites.   As   mentioned   previously,   it  is  the  Senate  version.  This  bill  works  in  the  same   ZD\DV623$DQGZRXOGSRVHDVLJQLÂżFDQWULVNWRVR-­ cial  media.  If  links  to  pirated  movies  were  posted  on   Twitter   or   Facebook,   the   Justice   Department   could   seek   to   shut   down   the   entire   social   media   website,   while  Hollywood  and  other  copyright  owners  could   use  their  private  right  of  action  to  severely  limit  the   siteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  functionality.  Copy-­ right   holders   like   movie   studios  could  also  invoke   a  â&#x20AC;&#x153;private  right  of  actionâ&#x20AC;?   against   just   about   any   company   doing   business   with  a  website  that  copy-­ right   holders   believed   to   be   involved   in   copyright   infringement.   Copyright   holders   could   demand   that   payment   processors   FXWRIIWKHĂ&#x20AC;RZRIPRQH\


Jean  Shen  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;14 to  a  website  or  that  search  engines  eliminate  links  to   it  â&#x20AC;&#x201D;  without  even  entering  a  courtroom.   Critics  believe  that  copyright  holders  already  abuse   the  existing  copyright  infringement  tools  that  require   websites  to  take  down  improper  content  and  empha-­ size   that   these   problems   would   be   dramatically   es-­ FDODWHGE\623$DQG3,3$$OVRWKH\PDNHDYDOLG point  when  they  say  the  language  in  the  bill  is  vague   and  could  spark  the  shutdown  of  many  websites  that   accidentally  use  snippets  of  copyrighted  material  that   they  believed  were  available  for  free  under  â&#x20AC;&#x153;fair  useâ&#x20AC;?   standards.  Not  to  mention  the  risk  of  Facebook,  Twit-­ ter,   and   other   social   media   sites   being   shut   down.   Overall,  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  good  thing  that  all  those  petitions  and   blackouts  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  go  to  waste!

Opinion Formal Dinner : What 's the take on it


The Old vs. The New Alexis  Hill  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;13   Once   upon   a   time   there   was   a   batâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a   batID-­ OR!  It  may  seem  like  those   Ă&#x20AC;DVK\ YLGHR DQQRXQFH-­ ments   and   enthusiastic   pa-­ perboys/girls   have   been   at   Cate  since  forever  ago,  but   there   was   a   time   when   the   Mesa  was  not  blessed  by  the  existence  of  the  gloriousâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;dare  I  say,  divineâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;  bea-­ con  of  light,  hope,  wisdom,  and,  generally,  all  that  is  good:  El  Batidor.    /HWXVVWDUWZLWKVRPHEDVLFHW\PRORJ\7KRVHRI\RXLQ6SDQLVK RUMXVW ZLWK,QWHUQHWDFFHVV ZLOONQRZWKDWÂł(O%DWLGRU´PHDQVÂłWKHRXWULGHU´ZKLFK KDVWKHGRXEOHPHDQLQJRI DQHVFRUWRQKRUVHEDFNDFFRPSDQ\LQJDYHKLFOH DQG DSHUVRQRUWKLQJSUHFHGLQJDQRWKHU1RWRQO\GRHVWKHQHZVSDSHUQDPHG and  created  in  1919,  serve  as  a  protector,  or  escort,  of  the  popular  opinion,  but   it  is  also  at  the  forefront  of  controversy  at  Cate.  Often  times,  issues  (newspaper   SXQ UHSRUWHGRQLQ(O%DWZLOOEHDGGUHVVHGE\WKHDGPLQLVWUDWLRQDVLWLVD GLUHFWUHĂ&#x20AC;HFWLRQRIZKDWWKHVWXGHQWVZDQWDQGWKLQNZKLFKLVZK\ÂłEDWLGRU´ seems  to  be  a  perfect  choice  in  name.     But  enough  of  linguistics  and  useless  trivia!  We  want  drama!  Intrigue!   )ODVKEDFNWR(O%DWRIWKHVDQGHDUO\V\RXÂśUHĂ&#x20AC;LSSLQJSDVWIHDWXUHVRQ WKHQHZ&,)FKDPSLRQV ERULQJ DQGDQHGLWRULDOSLHFHRQGLQLQJKDOOIRRG DOVR ERULQJ ZKHQ\RXUHDFKZKDW\RXKDYHEHHQVRGHVSHUDWHO\VHDUFKLQJIRUWKH 9DOHQWLQHÂśV'D\Âł/RYH&ROXPQ´ZKHUHQRWRQO\DUHDOOWKH&DWHFRXSOHVRXWOLQHG DQGZKRVFRUHGWKHODWHVWÂłVFDP´²DVN0V%URZQOHHDERXWWKDWWHUPLQRORJ\  but  even  photos  of  the  puppy  love  are  included!  Relationships  were  nothing  to   be  ashamed  of,  and  certainly  nothing  to  exclude  from  printing.     Our   newspaper   wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   always   nice,   either.   Sitting   in   the   archives,   breathing  in  the  musk  of  print  under  the  watchful  eyes  of  my  buddy  Curtis,  I   VWXPEOHGXSRQVRPHLQNRQVWXGHQWVDQGIDFXOW\DOLNHWKDWGHÂżQLWHO\ZRXOGQÂśW Ă&#x20AC;\ XQGHU WKH FXUUHQW PDQDJHPHQW DQG QR WKDW ZDVQÂśW GLUHFWHG DW \RX 0U 0DFN $URXQG&KULVWPDVWLPHWKURXJKWKHHGLWLRQVRIWKHVÂł6DQWDÂśV%DJ´ would  be  published.  While  it  sounds  like  a  cutesy,  spirited  editorial  piece,  really   the  â&#x20AC;&#x153;giftsâ&#x20AC;?  given  to  members  of  the  community  were  usually  a  harsh  look  at  the   personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  faults.  Some  examples:  for  Christmas,  certain  students  â&#x20AC;&#x153;should  haveâ&#x20AC;?   EHHQJLYHQÂłUHVSHFWÂŤIRUDGD\´ÂłDQ\WKLQJWRÂżOOWKHYRLG´RUHYHQZRUVHÂłD lobotomy.â&#x20AC;?  Yikes.  If  you  thought  that  the  rumor  mill  is  ruthless  today,  imagine   being  in  the  graduating  class  of  1985  and  being  predicted  to  be  a  child  molester   or  a  gynecologist  20  years  from  graduation.  (Funnily  enough,  that  one  student   DFWXDOO\GLGEHFRPHDJ\QHFRORJLVWÂŤ

 Then  there  are  those  parts  of  El  Bat  that  NEVER  change:  articles  on   QHZWHDFKHUVWKHP\ULDGRISULQWRQVWUHVV²VSHFLÂżFDOO\FROOHJHVWUHVVGUDPD about  prefect-­ship,  and  the  resounding  lack  of  excitement  upon  the  hill.  Here   are  some  titles  spanning  from  the  60s  to  80s  that  will  probably  seem  all  too  fa-­ PLOLDU-XQLRUV6WDUWWR([SHULHQFH&ROOHJH3UHVVXUH'D\6WXGHQWV'LVJUXQWOHG DUHQÂśWWKH\DOZD\V" &KDSHO7DONV9DU\:LGHO\ WKLVZULWHUZDVFOHDUO\D FUHDWLYHJHQLXVLQWKHWLWOHGHSDUWPHQW DQGP\SHUVRQDOIDYRULWHKHDGOLQHIURP all  of  the  issues  I  saw:  Second  Dance  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Highly  Successful.â&#x20AC;?  We  can  laugh  about   the  triteness  of  those,  and  the  hilarity  of  the  technologically  skeptical  opinion   VHFWLRQ &RPSXWHUÂśV$UULYDO&DXVHV&RQWURYHUV\DQG$Q(QLJPDWLF)LUHZDOO  but  history  repeats  itself,  and  our  writing,  if  it  doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  already,  will  seem  just  as   outdated  and  silly  in  just  a  few  short  years.  Even  this  article,  writing  in  El  Bat   about  what  used  to  be  written  in  El  Bat,  has  actually  already  been  written  about   LQ(O%DWÂŤ GRQÂśWKXUW\RXUVHOIWKLQNLQJDERXWWKDWRQH   $OORIWKLVLVWRVD\WKDWEHLQJUHWURVSHFWLYHRQFHLQDZKLOHLV ORWV RIIXQDQG DZD\RIUHHYDOXDWLQJRXUGHFLVLRQVDQGUHFRJQL]LQJWKDWZHDUH KDUGO\WKHÂżUVWWRGRDQ\WKLQJ:HDUHLQVLJQLÂżFDQWKXPDQWHHQDJHUVZKRKDYH no   idea   that   we   are   not   invincible.  That   said,   El   Batidor   has   never   looked   so   good.

Michael  Revord  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;14

 Every   Thursday   night,   the   entire   school   gathers   in   the   theatre   for   a   WKLUW\PLQXWHSHUIRUPDQFHIROORZHGE\DQKRXURIIRUPDOGLQQHU3HUIRUPDQFHV range  from  singers  and  bands  to  speeches  and  presentations.  Formal  dinner  is   assigned  seating  with  new  rotations  every  two  weeks.  While  formal  dinner  may   seem  like  a  civilized  time  for  students  and  faculty  to  meet  formally  and  avoid   the  loud,  casual  dinnertime  setting  of  the  rest  of  the  week,  some  students  be-­ lieve  formal  dinner  takes  up  too  much  time.  One  general  notion  about  convoca-­ tion  is  that  not  a  single  student  enjoys  the  performance.  When  asked  how  many   VWXGHQWVKHWKRXJKWOLNHGFRQYRFDWLRQDQDQRQ\PRXV/LGRUHVLGHQWDQVZHUHG â&#x20AC;&#x153;Zero.â&#x20AC;?  This   notion   that   no   one   enjoys   the   time   is   simply   untrue.   In   a   recent   survey  of  students,  more  than  half  responded  that  that  enjoyed  Convocation.  But   when   asked   what   best   describes   most   convocations,   most   students   answered,   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boring.â&#x20AC;?  These  results  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  make  much  sense-­-­why  would  most  people  say   WKDWWKH\HQMR\FRQYRFDWLRQEXWDOVRGHVFULEHLWDVERULQJ"3HUKDSVWKHVWXGHQW body   is   too   close-­minded   when   it   comes   to   thinking   about   why   people   truly   enjoy  convocation.  It  may  not  be  the  performance  itself-­-­perhaps  the  idea  of  an   entire  school  gathering  in  formal  dress  is  important  to  many  students.  8QIRUWXQDWHO\ IRUPDO GLQQHU GLG QRW IDOO XQGHU WKLV FDWHJRU\ :KLOH convocation  is  interesting  and  an  important  gathering  point,  it  is  followed  by   another   hour-­long   commitment.   Formal   dinner   was   voted   as   boring   by   more   WKDQ  RI WKH VWXGHQWV DQG  YRWHG WKDW WKH\ GLGQÂśW OLNH IRUPDO GLQQHU These  results  are  far  more  critical  than  those  for  the  convocation  survey.  The   answer  to  this  issue  could  be  due  to  how  long  the  two  commitments  are.  When   DVNHGDERXW7KXUVGD\VPRUHWKDQRIVWXGHQWVDQVZHUHGWKH\GLGQRWKDYH HQRXJKWLPHWRÂżQLVKWKHLUDVVLJQPHQWV6RHYHQLISHRSOHGROLNHIRUPDOGLQQHU LQDQGRILWVHOIPDQ\VWXGHQWVÂżQGLVVXHZLWKLWEHFDXVHWKH\QHHGPRUHWLPHWR ÂżQLVKHGWKHLUKRPHZRUN   While   students   say   they   donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   like   formal   dinner,   it   seems   that   they   may  not  dislike  the  event  itself  so  much  as  they  dislike  the  time  commitment.   The   root   of   the   problem   may   be   in   how   often   we   have   formal   dinner.  When   asked  how  often  we  should  have  convocation  and  formal  dinner,  most  people   answered,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;less  than  once  a  week.â&#x20AC;?  The  most  common  response  was  once  every   two  weeks,  or  formal  dinner  one  week  and  convocation  the  next.  This  would   resolve  the  homework  problem  while  also  accommodating  those  who  enjoy  the   weekly  formal  gathering.


Opinion MLK: Ok


Erika  Noble  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;14

of  solutions  that  the  movie  offered  its  viewers.  After  watching  Bro  Code,  I  hon-­ HVWO\FDQQRWUHOD\DQ\RQHPHWKRGWKDWWKHÂżOPSUHVHQWHGLQRUGHUWRFRPEDWWKH YLFLRXVF\FOHZHDUHEHLQJVXEMHFWHGWR6XUHDIWHUVRPHWKRXJKWZHÂśGGHÂżQLWHO\ come  up  with  some  theories,  but  Bro  Code  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  throw  us  a  rope.  Its  purpose   may  have  been  to  bring  awareness  to  the  masses,  but  it  really  just  made  me  feel   helpless.  MissRepresentation  was  a  bit  more  politically  correct,  but  it,  too,  out-­ lined  delicate  material  regarding  the  way  women  are  perceived  in  this  unforgiv-­ LQJVRFLHW\ZLWKRXWRIIHULQJDQ\VROXWLRQV,QDQGRIWKHPVHOYHVWKHVHWZRÂżOPV were   adequate   tools   for   imparting   knowledge   of   their   subjects,   but   they   were   PLVVLQJDNH\HOHPHQW3HUKDSVWKHGLUHFWRUVVKRXOGRIIHUWDONVRUSHUIRUPDQFHV WKDWUDLVHDZDUHQHVVDQGWKHQKROGVPDOOZRUNVKRSVWKDWVKRZFDVHZD\VWRÂżJKW against  the  iron  grip  of  society.  Or  maybe  they  could  create  a  magazine  or  other   outlet  to  the  public  that  displays  what  it  can  also  mean  to  be  a  male  in  our  day  in   age.  Jean  Kilbourne,  who  graciously  led  one  of  our  convocations,  also  lacked  in   the  solutions  department,  bringing  awareness  rather  than  forms  of  action.    Either   way,  any  solutions  would  have  been  greatly  appreciated,  because  now  it  seems  as   if  weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  been  given  the  job  of  improving  our  views,  but  it  remains  a  heavy  bur-­ GHQEHFDXVHZHDUHXWWHUO\ORVW,GRXEWZHÂśOOIRUJHWRXUH[SHULHQFHRQ0/.'D\  2QHWKRXVDQGÂżYHKXQGUHGVWXGHQWVDFRQYHQWLRQFHQWHUWKDWVSDQQHG DQ\WLPHVRRQMXVWOLNH,ZRQÂśWIRUJHWP\WLPHDW6'/&+RSHIXOO\WKHPHPRULHV four  blocks  in  length,  and  two  full  days  of  getting  to  know  and  understand  what   of  that  day  will  be  fond  ones,  but  I  guess  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  leave  that  up  to  you. became  an  extraordinarily  close-­knit  family  group.  That  was  the  Student  Diver-­ VLW\ /HDGHUVKLS &RQIHUHQFH DQG KDYLQJ DWWHQGHG , FDPH DZD\ ZLWK VR PXFK PRUHWKDQRYHUDKXQGUHGFRQWDFWVDFURVVWKH8QLWHG6WDWHV,QWKRVHWZRGD\V, gained  an  immense  appreciation  for  diversity  in  a  community  the  size  of  Cate  and   LQDFRPPXQLW\WKHVL]HRIWKHZRUOG7KHPDLQIRFXVRIP\WLPHLQ3KLODGHOSKLD was  to  learn  about  and  understand  what  steps  other  schools  and  students  around   the  world  were  taking  to  incorporate  ethnic,  economic,  religious,  and  sexual  di-­ versity   into   their   communities   and   the   importance   of   accepting   people   despite   WKHLUGLIIHUHQFHV&DWHÂśVKRPDJHWRWKLVFRQIHUHQFHZDVRXU0DUWLQ/XWKHU.LQJ Jr.  Day  Celebration,  the  main  focus  of  which  was  gender  roles,  or  how  society   GHÂżQHVZKDWLWPHDQVWREHDPDQRUDZRPDQ   In  theory,  we  should  have  all  come  away  with  a  greater  understanding  of   the  restricting  views  society  holds  about  gender.  But  did  we?  At  least  the  last  part   RIWKHGD\WKHVPDOOJHQGHUVSHFLÂżFGLVFXVVLRQJURXSVZDVHQOLJKWHQLQJEXW for  several,  the  back-­to-­back  documentary  screening  was  a  bit  too  much.  The  two   ÂżOPVBro  Code  and  MissRepresentation,  were  both  unique  in  their  own  ways.   However,  it  was  interesting  how  deeply  they  delved  into  some  sensitive  subjects.  

the heart of valentine 's day Denali  Tietjen  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12

,WLVGLIÂżFXOWWRUHFRUGZKDWRFFXUUHGLQWKHÂżUVWÂżOPEXWVXIÂżFHWRVD\WKDWZKLOH it  was  informative  on  the  subject  of  how  men  are  being  forced  to  conform  to  so-­ ciety  in  uncomfortable  and  sometimes  unlawful  ways,  it  left  many  people  feeling   uneasy.     Now,  we  all  received  a  formal  apology  from  a  genuinely  remorseful  Mr.   Mochel,  but  that  is  not  the  issue.  What  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  concerned  about  is  the  obvious  lack  

 )HEUXDU\WK,WÂśVDGD\ÂżOOHGZLWKURPDQWLFJHVWXUHVĂ&#x20AC;RZHUVDQG greeting  cards.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  day  of  candlelit  dinners,  sappy  poetry,  and  chocolate.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a   day  of  loveâ&#x20AC;Śright?  No.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  day  of  clichĂŠ.  Sure,  Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Day  is  romantic.   Sure,  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  nice  that  couples  go  out  and  spend  time  together.  But  it  seems  to  me   that  love  is  supposed  to  last  all  year,  not  just  come  around  once  every  365  days   for  a  visit.  If  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  really  in  love,  you  shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  need  a  day  to  prove  it.  So  if  it   isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  love,  then  whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  at  the  heart  of  the  holiday?     Victoriaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Secret  has  an  entire  Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Day  line  of  â&#x20AC;&#x153;sexy-­night   RXWÂżWV´+DOOPDUNVHOOVPLOOLRQVRI´[´9DOHQWLQHVWRRVPDOOWRHYHQVLJQ your  name,  that  are  decorated  with  The  Hulk,  Scooby  Doo,  and  everything  and   anything  else  completely  unrelated  to  love.  Florists  rely  on  Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Day   SURÂżWVDVLGHIURPIXQHUDOV9DOHQWLQHVDUHUHDOO\WKHLUVROHVRXUFHRILQFRPH Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  not  a  day  of  love.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  day  on  which  capitalist  business  takes  perfect  advan-­ tage,  making  one  feel  one  must  buy  a  certain  thing  and  act  a  certain  way  to  be  in   love.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  day  of  naive  romance  and  utter  clichĂŠ.    


Who wore it better


Tim  Annick  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12

 Recently,  pants  have  been  going  missing,  getting  lost  in   the  woodsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;whatever!  The  point  is,  leggings  have  replaced  pants   in  every  possible  way.  There  are  even  â&#x20AC;&#x153;jeggings,â&#x20AC;?  or  jean  leggings.   /HJJLQJVLWVHHPVDUHMXVWPRUHFRPIRUWDEOHFRROHUDQGFKHDSHU to  come  by  than  pants.   With   that   in   mind,   let   us   turn   to   this   edition   of   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Who   Wore  It  Better?â&#x20AC;?,  starring  Schoolhouseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  lovely  leading  ladiesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; Ms.  Taylor  Wyatt  and  Ms.  Shannon  Desgrosiellier.  Each  of  them   GUHVVHGXSLQUDLQERRWVOHJJLQJVVRFFHUMHUVH\VDQGDYHU\Ă&#x20AC;RS-­ S\KDW$FFRUGLQJWR/LVD+XDQJ0V:\DWWORRNVOLNHÂł:KHUHÂśV Waldoâ&#x20AC;?  in  red  and  white-­striped  leggings,  a  soccer  jersey,  and  rain   boots  that  look  like  socks.  Ms.  Desgrosiellier  is  wearing  exactly   WKHVDPHRXWÂżW H[FHSWKHUQDY\ EOXHVRFFHUMHUVH\PDWFKHV KHU your-­grandmother-­knitted-­awful-­holiday-­sweater   patterned   leg-­ gings.   But  Who  Wore  It  Better?   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  say  Shannon,â&#x20AC;?  says  junior  Chris  Wilkinson,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;because   she   coordinated   better   with   the   darker   colors.â&#x20AC;?   Juniors   Marina   1DUDLQ DQG (PPD 3RSH DJUHH Âł6KDQQRQ 6KHÂśV PRUH FRORU FR-­ RUGLQDWHG´ (YHQ VRSKRPRUHV 3DROD 5LRV DQG 6KXWD .RED\DVKL favored  Ms.  Desgrosiellierâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  look.  6HQLRU/LVD+XDQJWRR UHOXFWDQWO\ VLGHGZLWK0V'HV-­ grosiellier.  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oooh,  this  is  hard,â&#x20AC;?  she  said,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Shannonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  colors  are   more  pirate-­y  with  the  dark  stuffâ&#x20AC;Ś  Taylor  just  looks  like  Whereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   Waldo.  Those  pants  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  match  the  bootsâ&#x20AC;Ś  or  the  hat.â&#x20AC;?   I  refused  to  take  sides  (we  all  saw  what  happened  to  the   7URMDQVZKHQ3DULVFKRVH$SKURGLWHRYHU+HUDDQG$WKHQD EXW ,WKLQNERWKZRPHQORRNZHOOULGLFXORXV5DLQERRWVDQGĂ&#x20AC;RSS\ KDWV"7KLV LVQÂśW DQ (QJOLVK JDUGHQLQJ SDUW\ /LVD VXPPHG LW XS SHUIHFWO\ Âł7KH RXWÂżWV DUH VR EDG´ VKH FKXFNOHV Âł>WKDW@ ZKDW LW really  boils  down  to  is  who  doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  look  the  worst.â&#x20AC;?

Hot or Not (Valentine 's Day Gifts) Taylor  Chatman  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;12

Hot Red  roses Oversized  card Balcony  serenade   Scented  lotion Basket  oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  junk  food Star  Wars  movies  4-­6 Mixed  CD

a Psa on pda Tim  Annick  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12  <RX ZRXOG EH KDUGSUHVVHG WR ÂżQG D &DWH student  who  does  not  pass  between  Schoolhouse  and   High  House  on  a  daily  basis.  It  is,  perhaps,  the  third   most  congested  place  on  campus,  after  the  dining  hall   and  our  lovely  theater.

NOT 6XQĂ&#x20AC;RZHUV E-­Card Dining  hall  serenade Glittery  lotion /HDQ&XLVLQH Star  Wars  movies  1-­3 Mixed  cassette


 Yet   this   spot   attracts   more   couples   than   any   other  place  on  the  Mesa.  In  this  age  of  Twitter,  Face-­ book,   and   instantaneous   YouTube   updates,   we   are   used  to  very  little  to  no  privacy.  Teenagers  of  our  gen-­ eration  have  a  bizarre  fascination  with  sharing  every-­ thing,  which,  apparently,  includes  your  personal  life.   Gross.  This  ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  Hollywood.  You  do  not  have  Tumblrs   GHGLFDWHGWR\RXUHYHU\PRYH1RERG\FDUHV3OHDVH keep  it  to  yourselves.  'R XV DOO D IDYRU DQG WXUQ \RXU 3XEOLF 'LV-­ plays   of  Affection   into   private   ones.  Your   happiness   makes  me  angry.

El phat Omg ! i hate cate ! Alissa  Jared  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12   Once  upon  a  time,  two  Cate  students  named  Icky  and  Snobby  were  walk-­ ing   back   from   Fitness   together.  As   they   passed   under   the   beautiful   eucalyptus   trees  on  their  left  and  the  lush  Kirby  Quad  on  their  right,  they  linked  arms  and   started  in  on  their  favorite  pastime-­-­complaining.

ÂżQLVKHG\RXUKLVWRU\SDSHU\HW"´  â&#x20AC;&#x153;No  way!â&#x20AC;?  laughed  Icky.  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  been  so  busy.  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  been  staying  up  late   every  night  watching  movies  on  my  laptop  until  11:30  and  talking  to  my  friends   during  study  hours,  not  to  mention  that  I  totally  procrastinated  on  studying  for  

 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Not   that   Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m   complaining   or   anything,â&#x20AC;?   said   Icky,   â&#x20AC;&#x153;but   I   really   donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   understand  why  we  have  organized  sports  every  single  day.  Why  canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  we  just   be  fat  slobs  and  die  from  heart  attacks  in  our  40â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  because  our  cholesterol  got  too   high  and  we  never  got  into  the  habit  of  exercising  in  high  school?â&#x20AC;?   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  always  wondered  about  that,â&#x20AC;?  said  Snobby,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;And,  you  know,  while   weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  on  the  subject,  I  think  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  totally  unfair  to  us  and  all  other  Cate  students   that  we  have  to  eat  what  they  serve  us  in  the  Dining  Hall.  That  food  is  guh-­ross.   I  mean  our  only  options  are  the  salad  and  sandwich  bars,  two  soups,  rice,  toast,   fruit,  and  a  different  selection  of  hot  food  every  day.â&#x20AC;?   â&#x20AC;&#x153;You  forgot  ice  cream  and  a  full  array  of  beverage  options,â&#x20AC;?  added  Icky.   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yeah!â&#x20AC;?   agreed   Snobby.   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   completely   unforgivable.   I   mean,   its   not   like  the  kitchen  staff  have  to  make  food  for  300  people  three  times  a  day!  Is  it   really  too  much  to  expect  gourmet  food  for  breakfast,  lunch  and  dinner?â&#x20AC;?   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  totally  right.  If  I  have  to  eat  chicken  one  more  time,  I  swear... Why  canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  we  just  starve  like  the  most  people  in  the  world?â&#x20AC;?  said  Icky.   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey,  sorry  to  change  the  subject,â&#x20AC;?  Snobby  interjected,  â&#x20AC;&#x153;but  have  you  

my  math  test  until  2:00  AM  last  night.  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  had  no  time!  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  just  have  to  write  it   GXULQJPRUQLQJĂ&#x20AC;H[WRPRUURZ´   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yeah,  if  the  Internet  doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  go  out  again,â&#x20AC;?  added  Snobby  darkly.  â&#x20AC;&#x153;I  just   donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   get   why   the   school   has   to   give   us   such   limited   bandwidth.   Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   like   they   donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  want  us  to  become  addicted  to  our  computers  and  walk  around  glassy-­eyed   and  zombie-­like  for  the  rest  of  our  lives.  Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  wrong  with  them?â&#x20AC;?   â&#x20AC;&#x153;I  have  no  idea.  All  I  know  is  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  glad  spring  break  is  coming  up  so  I  can   get  off  this  campus  for  once,â&#x20AC;?  sighed  Icky  as  they  walked  through  the  High  House   stairwell  to  go  sit  on  Sunset  Bench,  where  the  view  was  a  haze  of  sunlight  cover-­ LQJHYHU\WKLQJIRUDVIDUDVWKH\FRXOGVHH7KHRFHDQUHĂ&#x20AC;HFWHGSLQNVDQGRUDQJHV MXVWVWDUWLQJWRVQHDNRXWIURPEHKLQGZKLWHFORXGV$IHZVPDOOEODFNELUGVĂ&#x20AC;HZ up  from  the  leafy  trees  below  them.   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  kinda  pretty,â&#x20AC;?  said  Snobby.  â&#x20AC;&#x153;If  only  the  classes  werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  so  hard.   Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  like  they  expect  me  to  use  my  brain  and  actually  work  here.â&#x20AC;?   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yeah,  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  just  absurd,â&#x20AC;?  said  Icky  drowsily,  biting  into  a  locally  grown   apple  from  the  dining  hall.  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Totally  unfair.â&#x20AC;?

Cate 's Matchmaker


Kaitlyn  Gulock  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;13

Blake  M:  Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  most  compatible  with  Blake  Mackall,  the  ridiculously  tall  but   sweet  senior  whom  you  always  see  hanging  out  in  the  library!  Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  more  to   the  tennis-­playing  day  student  than  meets  the  eye.  He  loves  listening  to  Blink-­182   DQGVLQJLQJLQWKHVKRZHU+LVLGHDOÂżUVWGDWH$GULYHLQPRYLH+RZURPDQWLF Rex  C:  Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  most  compatible  with  Rex  Chang,  Cateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  very  own  international   man  of  mystery!  When  asked  about  what  he  likes  to  do,  Rex  answered  that  he   loves  singing  and  looking  at  himself  in  the  mirror.  He  enjoys  Japanese  anime  and   relaxing   with   tea.   His   ideal   date   would   be   a   romantic   dinner   in   an   abandoned   castle.  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rex  is  all  about  chillinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.  He  appreciates  what  other  people  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t,â&#x20AC;?  says   Aaron  Karlsberg. Jenny  L:<RXÂśUHPRVWFRPSDWLEOHZLWK-HQQ\/XQGWWKHFXWHDQGYHU\ORYDEOH VRSKRPRUHIURP,GDKR+HURFFXSDWLRQLVÂłZDUULRU´ WULEXWHWR6HL DQG\RXFDQ often  catch  this  water  polo  babe  either  watching  her  favorite  show,  Psych,  or  pon-­ dering  existence.  Who  knew  that  this  sweet,  popular  girl  is  Tumblr  famous  and  a   chess  champion?  Check  out  her  website  at: Susan  Kim:  Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  most  compatible  with  Susan  Kim,  our  resident  cartoon  art-­ ist  and  adorable  Internet  geek!  Though  many  of  you  may  not  know  this,  she  has   a   unique   sense   of   humor   and   has   a   quirky   habit   of   naming   inanimate   objects.   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Knowledge  is  power.  I  love  learning  for  the  sake  of  learning,â&#x20AC;?  says  Susan.  Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   an  incredible  artist,  though  sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  too  humble  to  admit  it  herself.  You  can  check   out  her  artwork  in  the  gallery!


El phat Sean cummings : say who


Best Pick Up Lines

Edward  Zhu  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;14

Taylor  Chatman  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;12

Who  is  this  boy?   Sean  Cummings!  Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  the  new  freshman  in  the  Wyatt  advisory  who  joined  the   &DWHFRPPXQLW\WKLVVHPHVWHU+HOLYHVLQ/RQJ+RXVHRQWKHXSSHUĂ&#x20AC;RRU Why   should   you   get   to   know  him? His   favorite   artists   are   Jack   Johnson  and  Coldplay,  while   his   interests   include   gui-­ tar   and   soccer.   Sean   played   keeper   and   sweeper   on   the   varsity  team  at  his  old  school   and   is   now   on   Cateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   JV   team.   He   loves   Calvin   and   Hobbes,  but  other  than  those   comics,   the   best   book   heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   read  is  Enders  Game.  

Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  day  can  be  a  stressful  time   if  you  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  have  a  sweetheart,  so  the   H[SHUWV GRZQ DW (O 3KDW KDYH FRQ-­ ducted   highly   complex   experiments   WRÂżQGWKHEHVWZD\VWRVQDJWKDWVSH-­ cial   someone.  After   hours   of   testing   and  statistical  analysis,  we  have  con-­ VWUXFWHG HIIHFWLYH DQG HIÂżFLHQW SLFN up   lines,   proven   to   produce   positive   results,   for   you   to   use   on   your   Cate   School  crush.

Sophomore  Boys   on   the   other   hand,   can   be   a   bit   more   on   the   goofy   side,   so  try  this:

With  freshman  girls,  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  always  smart   to  go  with  something  cute  and  sweet,   like  this:

Are  you   from   Tennessee?   â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Cause   youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  the  only  TEN-­I-­SEE!

If  stars   fall   every   time   I   think   of   you,  the  sky  will  soon  be  empty.

Where  is  he  from?   Midland,   born   and   raised   IDFXOW\EUDW 

Same  goes   for   freshman   boysâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;all   \RX QHHG LV D OLWWOH Ă&#x20AC;DWWHU\ VR \RX canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  go  wrong  with  a  line  like  this:

What  is  Midland  like? There  is  no  B&G  at  Midland,   so  the  chore  program  encom-­ passes   everything.   Every   GD\VRPHRQHQHHGVWRFKRSZRRGWRKHDWWKHZDWHUIRUVKRZHUV7KHÂżUHWKHQ needs   to   be   kindled  for   4   hours   each  day.   Cleaning   the   bathrooms   is   another   chore-­-­and   itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   not   just   picking   up   paper   and   emptying   the   trash,   but   full   on   cleaning,  mopping  and  scrubbing.     Hey,  freshmen!  Howâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  kitchen  crew?  Really  loving  the  quality  bonding   time  that  you  get  every  night?  Well  if  you  want  even  more  of  that,  head  on  over   to  Midland  where  you  get  to  set  up  and  clean  up  breakfast,  lunch  and  dinner,   wash  the  dishes,  AND  waiter  every  night.  No  oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  going  to  sub  for  you  now.   Oh,  and  did  I  mention  that  all  grades  can  be  on  kitchen  crew?  Even  seniors.   Next  time  you  head  out  for  green  team  or  kitchen  crew,  just  thinkâ&#x20AC;Śthis  is  the   most  we  have  to  do!   Also,  if  you  think  Cate  is  small,  at  Midland  the  total  student  body  is  an   RYHUZKHOPLQJVWXGHQWV   You   donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   like   formal   dinner   once   a   week?   Well,   how   about   every   night?  At   Midland,   there   are   sit-­down   dinners   every   night   and   formal   dinner   on  Sunday  nights.  Additionally,  they  have  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tuesday  Talkâ&#x20AC;?-­esque  presentations   HYHU\6XQGD\PRUQLQJDQGHYHQLQJLQWKH&KDSHO/RRNVOLNH\RXKDYHWRGRDOO your  homework  on  Saturday!     Be  grateful  for  everything  at  Cate!  

I  never   do   this,   but   I   think   youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re   cute   and   I   got   tired   of   waiting   for   you  to  talk  to  me. To  get  that  special  sophomore  girl,  its   best  to  come  with  a  mellower  pick-­up   line,  like  this: Did   the   sun   come   out,   or   did   you   just  smile  at  me?

*Pick  up   a   pack   of   sugar   that   says   â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sugarâ&#x20AC;?  on  it* Hey,  you  dropped  your  nametag. 7R Ă&#x20AC;DWWHU D MXQLRU JLUO MXVW JLYH KHU your  corniest  pick  up  line.  She  is  sure   to  giggle  over  something  like  this:

Junior  boys  can  sometimes  use  a  little   NLFN VR EH FRQÂżGHQW ZLWK D OLQH OLNH this: Here  I  am!  What  are  your  other  two   wishes? To   get   the   affection   of   a   senior   girl,   you  just  need  to  make  her  laugh,  so  we   recommend  a  line  like  this: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m   not   trying   to   impress   you   or   anything,  but...  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  Batman! The  secret  to  seducing  a  senior  boy  lies   in  simplicity  and  laughs,  so  try  this:  *Eye  brow  raise* Hubba,  hubba!

The Mixer of the Year Edward  Zhu  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;14 Mixing!  Social  interaction  between  genders!  Just  that  occurred  on  January  6th   LQ+RXVH%URZQLHVURRWEHHUĂ&#x20AC;RDWVDQGEXUQWFRRNLHVZHUHSURYLGHGZKLOH some  people  played  Super  Mario  and  others  had  meaningful  conversations.   Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  what  the  kids  thought  of  it:   â&#x20AC;&#x153;We  are  freshmenâ&#x20AC;Śwe  mixed.â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Freshman  boy â&#x20AC;&#x153;I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  know  that  girls  played  video  games!â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Freshman  boy  â&#x20AC;&#x153;Super  strikers  was  super  awesome!â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Freshman  boy   There  was  some  quality  mixing  going  on.â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Freshman  girl â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boring  as  h3$*!â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Freshman  boy â&#x20AC;&#x153;Short   notice,   wasted   our   time   when   we   couldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve   been   doing   homework   or   sleeping.â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Freshman  boy â&#x20AC;&#x153;It  was  a  great  way  for  us  to  interact  with  the  opposite  sex.â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Freshman  girl â&#x20AC;&#x153;I  ran  awayâ&#x20AC;Śgirls  have  cooties!â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Freshman  boy â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yum!  I  love  cookies.â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Freshman  girl â&#x20AC;&#x153;It  was  pretty  funâ&#x20AC;ŚI  liked  the  root  beer  and  girlsâ&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Sophomore  boy Âł,WZDVJORULRXV´Âą3UHIHFW â&#x20AC;&#x153;I  was  really  grateful  to  the  prefects  for  baking  and  organizing.â&#x20AC;?  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  Mr.  Mochel

How  does  he  like  it  so  far?   :KHQDVNHGKHVDLGÂł,ÂśPGHÂżQLWHO\JHWWLQJDJRRGLPSUHVVLRQRIWKLVSODFHÂŤ Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  getting  a  lot  of  new  information  to  process  but  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  pretty  sure  I  like  itâ&#x20AC;ŚI   love  the  dorm,  a  lot.â&#x20AC;?  This  is  probably  because  at  Midland  he  not  only  had  a   roommate,  but  there  was  no  Internet  in  the  dorms.  And  no  heating.  He  says  the   people  have  been  friendly,  nice,  and  very  eager  to  help.  Morevoer,  he  feels  wel-­ come  to  ask  for  help  when  needed.   â&#x20AC;ŚMore  about  Midland  and  Sean Rumor  has  it,  they  eat  squirrels  at  Midland,  but  they  ran  out  of  squirrels  and  had   WRUHVRUWWRFDQQLEDOLVP6LQFHWKH\VDFULÂżFHWKHIUHVKPHQÂżUVWDQG6HDQZDV next,  he  barely  made  his  escape  to  Cate.  


El phat Horoscopes

Guess that eye The  Love  Guru

Eliza  Wheeler  â&#x20AC;&#x2122;14

Aries  (March  21-April  19)

While  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  reading  this,  you  might  wonder  what  love  advice  I  have  for  youâ&#x20AC;Ś sorry!  Tough  love,  babyâ&#x20AC;Śthis  month  is  not  lookinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  so  hot  for  you.  Better  luck   next  month.











Taurus  (April  20-May  20)  

Go  to  the  gym  and  see  that  upper  school  hottie  pumpinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  the  iron,  working  on  his   body.  Start  a  conversation,  change  the  pace,  and  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  score  a  base.  

Gemini  (May  21-June  20)

On  February  16th,  make  sure  to  look  your  best,  because  your  crush  is  on  the  look-­ out  for  a  loved  one.  If  s/he  succeeds  on  his  or  her  mission,  let  it  be  known  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll   secure  his  or  her  admission.  

Cancer  (June  21-July  22)

To  all  the  girls  in  the  hizzouse:  be  yourself,  even  if  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  not  cool,  because  boys   who  see  you  for  who  you  really  are  will  start  to  drool.  And  to  all  the  boys  up  in   da  club,  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  be  shy,  because  a  girl  hates  a  boy  who  hides.

Leo  (July  23-August  22)

&DOP\RXUURDULQWKHORYHÂżOOHGDLU&RPHRQQRZQRUHDVRQWREHRQWKHSURZO â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;cause  your  hunt  is  over.  Turn  around,  thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  your  non-­loather!

Virgo  (August  23-September  22)

With  the  moons  aligning,  my  advice  to  you  is  to  not  think  about  your  love  life  on   this  very  day,  but  to  try  and  spice  things  up,  even  if  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  bit  clichĂŠ.  Do  a  good   deed  and  go  help  others  in  need.  

Libra  (September  23-October  22)

Go  out  and  do  something  out  of  your  comfort  zone,  because  honey,  on  this  Mesa   you  want  to  be  well  known.  On  February  14th,  go  tell  your  crush  how  you  feel,   because  if  you  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t,  your  heart  will  be  forever  alone.  

Scorpio  (October  23-November  21)

You  might  be  treading  water  in  the  sea  of  love,  but  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  stop  now,  because  your   crush  will  soon  see  you  and  rescue  you,  bringing  you  back  to  the  land  of  love.  

Sagittarius  (November  22-December  21)

Have  you  lost  hope?    Do  you  feel  as  though  you  are  on  a  downward  slope?  Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   worry,  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll  send  a  rope!  Fear  not  being  alone,  because  there  are  many  who  are   single  and  ready  to  mingle.  Soon  enough,  you  wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  be  on  your  own!

Capricorn  (December  22-January  19)

Make  sure  to  smile  and  wink  at  your  crush,  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;cause  the  boy  or  girl  you  like  will   turn  into  mush.  Oh,  and  hang  out  in  the  library  because  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  really  fun!  And  who   NQRZVÂŤ\RXFRXOGÂżQG\RXUORYHGRQH

Pisces  (February  19-March  20)



Answer  Key (OL]D:KHHOHUÂľ)HUQDQGD3HWWÂľ-DFN+RRYHUÂľ -RKQ%DVDUÂľ/LVD+XDQJÂľ0DGG\%DUQH\Âľ0DGLVRQ Snider  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;13/  8.  Malia  Rodriguez/  9.  Sean  Cummings  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;15/  10.  Taylor   Erling  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;12

Aquarius  (January  20-February  18)

Even  though  your  sign  sounds  like  aquarium,  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  worry!  There  are  many  other   ÂżVKLQWKHVHD6RGRQÂśWJLYHXSEHFDXVHLWMXVWZDVQÂśWPHDQWWREH

Special thanks to our photographers, Shanise Djuhari ‘13 and Maddie Schrager ‘13. Cate School 1960  Cate  Mesa  Rd. Carpinteria,  CA  93013

Valentine's Day 2012  

The fifth and penultimate installment of Cate School's newspaper, El Batidor, for the 2011-2012 staff.

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