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Community

Grieving Children and Families Find Healing at New Center

By Lin Sue Flood Photos courtesy of Hospice of the Valley

When Melissa Alvarado’s oldest daughter, Gloria, died in May, she quickly realized her family needed professional support and to be around others who could fully grasp their pain.

At New Song Center for Grieving Children, they discovered support groups and meaningful activities to help them find healing. Melissa, her husband and their two younger kids were among 150 people at New Song’s recent bereavement event at Steele Indian School Park in Phoenix. “I like being here because these are the only other people who know how we feel,” she says. “And the support groups validate our emotions and feelings.”

New Song is Arizona’s first and largest child and family grief support program. All the services are provided at no cost. Since combining bereavement programs with Hospice of the Valley in 2009, New Song has served thousands of families, providing: • Support groups for grieving children, teens, young adults, and adult caregivers. • Support groups for grandparents, parents, and siblings who are grieving the death of a child. • A family support group for Spanish-speaking families. • Pediatric support and counseling for families caring for a child who is medically fragile or has a life-limiting illness. • Day camps for siblings of children living with complex medical needs. • Fun trips to family-friendly places like Butterfly

Wonderland or the movies.

“Our mission is to provide comprehensive grief education and support to help families heal after a traumatic loss,” says Lisa Schmitt Betcher, executive director of the nonprofit program. “We recognize that children express grief quite differently than adults, more likely through behavior than words.”

Within age-specific grief support groups, New Song creates a safe space for youngsters to enjoy art, play, journaling, and other forms of expression. Adults attend their own support groups to learn how to help children process grief in a healthy way — and to learn how to help themselves cope with loss.

At the park gathering, the McMullins wore matching gray shirts with the name “William” printed in big, bold letters and three words below it: “brave, strong, superhero.” Lauren and Chris McMullin were referred to New Song after their 7-year-old died in April. The couple also have an 11-year-old, Owen, and a 4-year-old, Arthur.

Callie Carpenter (left), Julie Lazzara and Mark D’Aprile attended New Song Center’s bereavement event at the park in honor of 4-year-old Landon D’Aprile.

Erica Schwartz, a New Song pediatric bereavement and family support counselor, sees the oldest boy one-on-one. “I feel incredibly lucky that I get to do that,” she says, standing near a table covered with “blugs” — a blanket and a hug.

“Owen looks forward to her visit every time,” Lauren says.

After bonding over special arts and crafts, all the families formed a large circle. One by one, they shared the names of their loved ones — Gloria, William, Isaiah, Landon … and many more. Then five white doves were released one at a time — symbolizing grief, courage, memories, love, and hope.

As all remaining doves were set free, New Song Clinical Director Jill Lovill reminded the families that everyone’s journey is unique. “As individuals, we grieve; as a community, we heal. May we each find our paths towards healing in the days ahead.”

BECOME A NEW SONG VOLUNTEER!

What a rewarding way to make a difference in the lives of families in the community. Join a dedicated team of trained volunteers who help lead grief support groups in central and north Phoenix, Scottsdale, Gilbert, and Avondale. Volunteer training is in January at Hospice of the Valley, 1510 E. Flower St., Phoenix. Dates are: 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Sat., Jan. 21 5:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. Tues., Jan. 24 5:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. Thurs., Jan. 26 Visit hov.org/volunteer/new-song to apply or call 480-951-8985 or email info@newsongcenter.org for more information. Visit newsongcenter.org to learn more about the program.

Community

Inspiring Teens Provide Support to Peers Dealing with Dating Violence, Abuse

By Amy Wolff Photos courtesy of BLOOM365

Teen dating violence statistics are staggering. According to a 2018 Centers for Disease Control study one in 11 females, one in 15 males, and one in four LGBTQ+ high school students have experienced physical dating violence in the last year. And roughly one in nine females, one in 36 males, and one in three LGBTQ+ high school students have experienced sexual dating violence.

For Valley nonprofit group BLOOM365, stopping abuse at the root of the problem and preventing dating and domestic violence before it begins, with a special focus on 11 to 24-year-olds, is the ultimate mission.

One of the most unique things about BLOOM365 is its Peer Advocate program. It includes roughly 40 local high school and college students who are trained to recognize the signs of abuse, respond appropriately, and reframe conversations and actions to cultivate a culture of safety, empathy, respect, and consent.

Harshitha Ram, a sophomore at Pinnacle High School, became a peer advocate to be part of something bigger and help create meaningful change in the lives of her fellow students.

“The work we do at BLOOM365 is something I am very passionate about, and I strongly believe in ending the cycle of abuse in my generation,” she says. “Through the peer advocacy program, I’ve learned how to create an impact within my school and community.

BLOOM365 educates young people on healthy versus unhealthy relationships and helps build skills to avoid controlling, abusive, and violent behaviors both now and later in life. The organization also provides trauma-informed emotional support, counseling, and safety services to enhance healing and well-being for young people who have been victimized.

“My work as a peer advocate is dear to my heart because it means that I can make a difference in the lives and experiences of every person around me,” says Clara McAdams, a junior at Barry Goldwater High School. “When a peer comes to me and discloses interpersonal violence or toxicity in their relationship, the first step I take is to listen. I give them an outlet to express their emotions, fears, and concerns. I strive to alleviate the silence they have felt in their relationship.”

Peer advocates participate in an immersive and highly engaging training that educates young people ages 13 to 24 years old about the risk factors, red flags, and root causes of domestic, sexual, teen-dating violence, and bullying and how to prevent them. Through the program teens and young adults gain skills they can use to support peers who have experienced unhealthy, controlling, toxic, or abusive friendships or relationships. They also learn steps they can take to create a safe space for survivors to seek help and perpetrators to unlearn abusive behaviors.

“For me, my goal is to always be empathetic and try to understand other people’s perspectives and experiences,” says Nidhi Konanur, a sophomore at Mountain Ridge High School.

After completing the Peer Advocate Academy, participants can apply for a paid Lead Peer Advocate internship position to uproot abuse on their school campuses.

To learn more about the Peer Advocate program and BLOOM365, visit bloom365.org.