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BURNHAM U3A

MAGAZINE

December ’16 - January ’17 www.burnhamu3a.com “U3A is the premier organisation for informal life-long learning ”

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Burnham-on-Sea U3A (Charity No 1068271) Honorary President Ken Hindle Telephone 787831 or email: kenhindle@btinternet.com Web-site: www.burnhamu3a.com

Committee Chairman - Paul Hambleton 788452 chairman@burnhamu3a.com Groups Organiser groups@burnhamu3a.com Treasurer - Les Hughes 01934 612085 treasurer@burnhamu3a.com Business Secretary - Gary Locock 783928 secretary@burnhamu3a.com Website & Magazine Editor - Harriet Courtney 795258 editor@burnhamu3a.com Magazine Distributor and Gift Aid - Margaret Budden 789540 mbudden@talktalk.net

New Members Rep -

Rita Gauntlett

r.gauntlett8@btinternet.com

238409

Coffee Morning & Refreshments - Brenda Dibley

782150

Holidays Group - Geoff & Jean Hollingworth

783773

dibley2aq@btinternet.com

hollingworth442@btinternet.com

Non-committee Posts Equipment - Joe Tohilll Day Trips Eileen Merrett & team Membership Secretary - Veronica Richardson Theatre Organizer - Sue Poole & team Speaker Organizer - Kath Hoyland Forum & NSAU3As Representative - Ken Hindle Meet & Greet at Coffee Morning - Rachel Rowse & team Holidays Organiser - Lynn Mathews & team Garden Group trips - Diane Cruickshank & Geoff Angood Advertising & Archivist - June Parry Back cover: Christmas Market

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784542 794289 773705 785722 783995 787831 792618 786012 787854 786055 788837


Burnham on Sea U3A Magazine Deadline for next magazine Editorial Meeting Distribution date

12th January 2017 17th January 2017 2nd February 2017

Editorial Team: Harriet Courtney Margaret Budden Kath Hoyland Gwyneth Marshall Lynn Mathews June Parry

editor@burnhamu3a.com mbudden@talktalk.net fam.hoyland@talktalk.net mimi@chester152.plus.com linda@mathewsandco.co.uk juneandtony@sky.com

tel: 795258 tel: 789540 tel: 783995 tel: 786604 tel: 786012 tel: 788837

The letter-box for Magazine articles and letters is situated in the entrance hall of the Community Centre but if possible please e-mail contributions to the editor at the address above. It saves so much time. Alternatively, any member of the editorial team will be happy to accept your contributions. Please remember that all correspondence intended for publication must bear the name and telephone number or address of the sender, although anonymity in the Magazine may be given if requested. It is the editor’s decision. The editor reserves the right to amend, reject or abbreviate any entry submitted. It also is made clear that views expressed are not necessarily those of the organisation. Insurance Members of Burnham on Sea U3A are reminded that the Third Age Trust (TAT) arranges Third Party Liability and Product Liability insurance on behalf of affiliated U3As. This is paid for within our annual capitation fee to TAT. It should be noted that there is no personal accident insurance included in this arrangement. Members of U3As join in U3A activities at their own risk and hereby are advised that, should they feel they wish to be covered for personal accidents or personal property, it is necessary for them to make their own private arrangements.

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Coffee Morning Serving Rota

8th December 15th December 22nd December 29th December 5th January 12th January 19th January 26th January 2nd February

Table Tennis 1 Committee Table Tennis 2 Table Tennis 3 Table Tennis 4 Table Tennis 5 Ukulele Barn Dancing & Exercise Book Club 1

Coffee is served until 11:15 Swaps may be made by mutual agreement between groups but please let Brenda Dibley know on 782150 before the day. -oOoDisclaimer: The inclusion of advertisements in this Magazine does not imply endorsement by the U3A of the companies placing the advertising.

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Chairman’s Letter Dear Fellow Member, I hope that you managed to get to one of our local Carnival Processions. Every year I think that it can't possibly be further improved and each year I am proved wrong as new innovations appear. What I find surprising is that this still seems to one of the country's bestkept secrets as relatively few people outside the county seem to be aware of it. One can't help but feel that we should all be doing more to spread the word, but then of course it would be likely to increase the congestion which would negatively impact on the event for all. What I do feel is that it's something of a scandal that the event raises a relatively small amount of funds when considered in the context of the number of spectators attending. Now Carnival and Remembrance are firmly behind us, it's downhill to Christmas, and by the time you read this a legitimate topic of interest, but personally, given the opportunity (grumpy old man warning), I would ban all shops from promoting Christmas in any way until 1st December. By the time we get to Christmas it all seems to me to be something of an anti-climax and we are all exhausted by rampant consumerism. (Rant over!). May I take this opportunity to wish you all and your families a happy Christmas and a prosperous and peaceful New Year. Paul Hambleton

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Messages from the Secretary Burnham U3A ONLINE www.burnhamU3A.com I hope readers will have had the chance to look at our new website, created by Editor Harriet. If you are one of our splendid noninternet-enabled members (and you are now one of the minority - it’s official!) then it is worth persuading an online friend or relation to take you there, because the Latest News page is exactly that; it contains all the urgent and important notices that we cannot put in the Magazine because of the printing deadlines which mean that anything you read in these pages is at least three weeks old and possibly as much as two-and-a-half months out of date. It can’t be helped, it is just the way it is. Groups However, there is a lot more you can do on the website. Go to the Groups page, and scroll down to find the button labelled Beacon Groups Information. (Beacon is the name of the web software from Third Age Trust which we have recently subscribed to.) The button will take you to a list of all our Groups complete with a lighthouse (sadly not ours; it is the Beacon beacon) Click on a Group name, and you will see some outline information about it; contact details, and maybe some additional information. (Group Leaders have direct access to edit and update this information). Since this is a public view, some of the info is hidden, but as a U3A Member you can find out more… Check and update your Membership Information Go back to the front (Home) page of the website and this time look for a button near the bottom of the page. (Not the Leaders’ Logon, the other one!). This takes you to the lighthouse again, and the ‘Members’ Portal’ You don’t need to register, or any kind of password. It identifies you from your Card number and certain other information*. From here you can check and amend the contact information we have for you, and you can also go to the Groups section and get the more detailed information that

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is withheld from the general public for security reasons. *Note that there is a ‘chicken and egg’ issue here, which is that Beacon recognises you by asking you to match the enrolment information that we hold. Unfortunately, if that info is wrong, you won’t get in to alter it! So if you get stuck, drop me an email, and we will fix it. Group Leaders As well as direct access to the website details on your Group, you can make a list of your group members if you have their current membership numbers (which of course you do!). This makes it very easy to send them emails via the Beacon system, or indeed look up their address or phone number if they don’t have one. To do this though, remember you don’t use the Members Portal, but the Leaders’ Logon button. If, as leader, you are not blessed with a computer, you can delegate all this to another member of your Group, and we would encourage you to do this. After all, U3A is all about sharing and working together. Easy Email Addresses. Do you know how to get in touch with the Membership Secretary? Or the Groups Coordinator? Or the New Members’ Rep? Do you know who the current person is in each post? Well now you don’t have to, or at least not to send an email message. Every “office holder” has been issued with a special email address which ends with “burnhamu3a.com”. All you need to do is put the job title in front e.g: chairman@ secretary@ membsec@ (etc) So to email Eileen, you would write to “daytrips@burnhamu3a.com”. When Eileen retires and another Organiser takes over, the address will stay the same, so you don’t need to remember who it is, or when they changed. Simple! The full list of these Easy Emails is on the website, or elsewhere in this Magazine. There are lots of other things we can do with this new system, but that is enough for now! Expect more developments in due course.

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Christmas Lunch Anyone? Well, Yes and No! Several U3A Groups arrange a Christmas Lunch for their members, and some of us will be involved in similar festive events outside U3A as well; in fact in the run-up to Christmas it can sometimes be difficult to fit everything in. Then comes New Year, and then everything goes quiet in a massive (though welcome) anticlimax… Not any more! Like last year, the ‘official’ Burnham U3A seasonal lunch will take place after Christmas. In fact it is much more akin to the traditional idea of a Twelfth Night celebration; except it is not at night, and (erm) it’s the eleventh, but you can’t have everything! Last year it was a very pleasant occasion indeed, to round off the festive season “When the hurly-burly’s done…” (Didn’t Shakespeare write that too?) So if you are quick, as soon as you read this, you will just have time to book your place to join us at the Batch House on Thursday 5th January price £22. The Menu and booking form are in this Magazine on pages 21 & 22 Gary Locock

-oOoCONTACT GROUP If you know of anybody who is ill or would appreciate a card, do please let us know. Thank you. Rachel Rowse Tel:- 792618

-oOoGROUPS CO-ORDINATOR We are looking for a Groups Co-ordinator to advise existing groups, help start-ups if needed, and generally keep track of what groups this U3A has. If you would like to be part of this, please contact any of the Committee as listed on page 3.

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Report on Hear Here Day at Torquay on October 22nd 2016 Sad to say, I was the only representative of Burnham U3A who attended., Undeterred off I went, staying Friday night at Premier Inn, Paignton. The Torquay Academy is a lovely modern school. The organisation was superb, aided I believe by The U3A Trust. One of their representatives made a short speech. All 91 of us booked in, received our colour-coded lunch and cake vouchers, and joined each other for a cuppa and biscuit. The Torquay Chair welcomed us, saying that representatives of 13 neighbouring U3As were there. I added our name to her later! The first speaker was a Senior Audiologist, and with the aid of visual explanations, told us about hearing loss, structure of the ears and surrounding structures, and different types of hearing loss, from industry, loud noises, and so on, with the chart of the hearing test explained. She quoted that 11 million have some hearing loss, equal to 1:6 of population. By 2035 it will be 1:5. There are 7900,000 with severe hearing loss. Children as young as 4 weeks old can be tested for hearing loss. She spoke briefly about ear cleaning, and said that it costs £140 to send a patient to a hospital to have ear wax suctioned, now that some medical centres don’t have staff to do it. Then Hearing Aid options were explained:, in or out of the ear, NHS or SpecSavers,( who can also provide NHS aids), and private if you wish. The SpecSavers aids are black, NHS various colours, as children wear them too. Then there are Bone Anchored aids - a section of mastoid bone is removed, and the aid fitted therein to the nerve in the ear after the ear drum- this means an operation; with a piece that attaches externally, for deafness where an external over the ear one is not appropriate. Replacement can cost £2-3,000. A Cochlear Implant, similar in looks to the above, can be fitted, for severe deafness. This type needs two battery packs a day. Lots of people asked questions. Then we had a coffee break where we saw various stalls, with masses of different aids, special telephones, doorbells, baby alarms, (it’s not only the elderly who are deaf.) Then Tinnitus, causes, how it sounds, usually running water or a sssss, some hear music. The ways of ignoring it and coping with it. This was followed by a younger gentleman in shorts, to tell us about his work going to people’s homes to fit loop systems, aids to the TV, telephone systems and so on. Plenty of questions for him.

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Lunch of plated sandwiches and cake and drinks then followed. This took 15 minutes out of our hour. It was good to sit with others and chat. The afternoon began with John Trett, having come from Swindon, telling us that 3 years ago he lost his hearing completely after an ear infection. Fortunately he has a wife who has learnt finger spelling, so that she can give him the first letter of a word if he gets into difficulties lip reading. He is a volunteer for Action On Hearing Loss, formerly Royal National Institute of the Deaf. He emphasised the importance of clear speech, in a good light, when talking to a deaf person; also not turning away half way through a sentence. The mouth should not be covered by excess facial hair, or a hand. Also the deaf person should sit with their better hearing ear towards the speaker. Another problem is when in company and eating, as one has to look down, missing the spoken word, or someone else takes up the narrative. There are various leaflets about this with cartoon figures available. So many people blame others because they can’t hear what’s said. By a show of hands there were 25% of us with a hearing loss. Hearing tests were done during coffee and lunch breaks and a few after closing. They brought two student audiologists to help. Next was Lip Reading explained and demonstrated This young lady had been deaf from birth, and her husband was also deaf. They have had three normal hearing children. First she asked if she was speaking loudly enough. She gave a short talk, then played 3 videos of patients with different hearing problems and how they coped with some of the social aspects. She spoke about aids in theatres, and stage text. She made us laugh at the mistakes she and her husband make when lip reading each other. We all agreed it had been very worthwhile day. The U3A Trust is evidently promoting more information about Hearing Loss nationally. PS. There was a Ken Hindle lookalike there. Jenny Golding. 01278-785465.

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GROUPS NEWS RUMMIKUB Due to holidays the next Rummikub will be Thursday January 5th 2017. Hope to see you then. Have a good Xmas and Happy New Year. Eve Wilson HOLIDAYS GROUP As this item goes to print we are busy with all our planning for our Turkey and Tinsel break at Alvaston Hall in Cheshire. Hopefully, in the next magazine, we shall have some fun photos to show everyone our travels "up north". We are now taking bookings for our trip next April to Holland and the Dutch Bulbfields. We have already taken many deposits from members but there are still places available! If you would like more information please do come and have a chat at the Thursday coffee mornings at the Community Centre. We will be ready to discuss any queries in Room 3. Plans are well advanced for our 2017 Turkey and Tinsel holiday. This will be at Nidd Hall, Warners, Harrogate. For further details please see the Notice Board at the Community Centre. We look forward to welcoming any new or old members who would enjoy the fun of travelling and holidaying together as a group. Lynn Mathews, Jean and Geoff Hollingworth. NEW GROUP – WEATHER & CLIMATE CHANGE We are all affected by climate change, and there is agreement among scientists that human activity is at least part of the problem. (Even if Donald Trump doesn’t) This group is intended to provide explanations as to why it is happening, and to discuss how it and the efforts to control it will change the world and our lives. If you are interested, please email me at yggdrasil@icuknet.co.uk or phone 01278 795258. I intend to hold the first meeting at my house in January, possibly either the 10th or 11th. Coffee/tea will be included  Harriet Courtney

-oOoEdwina Mckenzie (91) credits her long life to having decided 68 years ago to get off the Titanic. Toronto Globe and Mail

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Happy 99th Birthday Peggy Peggy Bessant celebrated her 99th birthday on November 21st. Members of the Creative Writing Group would like to ask you all to join us in wishing Peggy many congratulations and a wonderful celebration of this very special birthday. Peggy had joined a writing group in Street before moving to Burnham. Here, she joined the U3A and with leaders Anne Morris, Jane Ward and Maureen Preece, also with the Poetry Group, she continued writing short stories and poems. Peggy also joined an Art Group and the French Twinning Association (she still enjoys remembering her French). Peggy mainly enjoys writing about Nature, and giving animals and various inanimate objects their own voice! Here is one of her Nature poems, which I am sure you will enjoy. It’s Magic To see pearls in a cobweb on a frosty morn, To see diamonds in the grass and dew on the corn, To feel excitement in a wild stormy sky, To feel the power and rhythm of a swan flying by. It’s magic! To go for a walk down a country lane, To see a horse running free with a flowing mane, To walk in springtime through a bluebell wood, You should stop and look; you really should It’s magic! Annette Moore 13


Day Trips and Garden Trips, Theatre, Holidays… Did you know…? Adult guests and non-members are allowed to come on all our trips and holidays on an occasional basis. (If they wish to attend regularly, and are eligible, we hope they will join and become full U3A members). As regards our Holidays, or the special case of a member’s professional Carer (who would be covered by occupational insurance), there is no limitation at all. Members of other U3As are always welcome to join us. Our members benefit, because a full coach costs less per head than one with unfilled places, and sometimes the extra numbers make the difference between a trip going ahead or not. To make sure that Burnham U3A members are not disadvantaged, you have an initial period of exclusive access after bookings open, before the lists are opened to wider access. Our Organisers of these travel events have been conferring, and have come up with a new written Policy on the subject, which has recently been approved by the Committee. This is not the place to go into all the details (the Policy is a public document which any member is entitled to read); suffice to say it deals with Insurance; Finance; Cancellations and Refunds; Quality Standards; Conduct; and various other things. Should this affect you, as an ordinary member? Well, one of the motives has been to agree common standards for all our trips, so that everybody can know where they are. Many of these standards have grown up over the years, so (for example) we always include gratuities in the cost of an event where appropriate. We felt that (except for the very shortest journeys) it was right to set minimum standards for coaches and their operators for things like payment bonding, and on-board toilets and refreshments (perhaps that should be the other way round!) Finally, we felt it was necessary to spell out the situation regarding free trips. It is well-known that sometimes travel operators offer a ‘free’ place for the organiser of the group, but it is less well known that our U3A Organisers have not availed themselves of this facility, preferring instead to use it to reduce the overall cost. However, this means that our Organisers have paid full price for themselves, and when they organise a significant number of trips every year, this adds up to a significant financial commitment, because of course, they generally accompany every one. So we have written into the new policy that Organisers are entitled to

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accept a free place if they so choose, and I am sure you will agree that this is only right in view of the long and hard work involved in arranging these events. (It is also entirely consistent with the general U3A policy that Group Leaders must never be left out of pocket by their leadership activities.) It so happens that the Holidays team have elected not to do this, and they will continue to use any bonus places to discount the total cost, but of course a moment’s thought will show that they are in a different situation to the regular day trip and theatre organisers. It is also the case that Committee members, as Trustees of the charity, are legally disbarred from accepting any kind of ‘freebie’. Gary Locock

-oOoTHEATRE TRIP TO CINDERELLA 21ST December Coach pickup times will be earlier than usual Moorland at 11:30 am Apex 11:35 Pier Street 11:40 Vets at 11:45

ADVANCE NOTICE The Birmingham Royal Ballet Sinfonia performing

COPPELIA at the Bristol Hippodrome June 29th 2017 Cost £25 + coach fare (good seats – special offer)

-oOoThe Rawcliffe area was most affected by flooding last autumn. Derrick Rhodes described the floods as the most traumatic thing he’d experienced since being blown up at a bus-stop in 1944. York Evening Press

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CROSSWORD

Across

Down

1 Make up one’s mind 4 Someone lacking courage 8 Bias against one’s years 10 Tinkerbell and friends 11 Christmas hymn 12 Repulsive 14 Black bird 15 26th December 17 The day before 15 20 Podded vegetables 21 Ogle 22 Aberdeen _____ cattle 24 Matures 25 Famous canine film star 26 Christmas bird 27 Christmas decoration

1 Snow White’s friends 2 Little angel 3 Flat circular object 5 Gemstone 6 Bird enclosure 7 Refuse to acknowledge 9 Conjurors 10 Absent minded 13 Scottish lakes 14 eg Panama or Suez 16 Spectre, apparition 17 Person sleeping under canvas 18 Faculties of sight, touch etc 19 Painful experience 22 Poker stake 23 Indian lady’s garment

Answers on Page 26

Veronica Richardson

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Church of St Mark, Mark, Somerset Like many churches, St Mark’s has been enlarged, rebuilt and altered over the years since the 14th century during the prosperous tears of the wool trade. The nave and north aisle were formed in the 14th century, and the chancel and choir were extended in the 15th century when the tower and north porch were added, so now the church is 150 feet long. The very attractive 15th century octagonal stone font has a Jacobean carved oak cover which, it is said, was rescued from an old lumber room! A similar font, probably the work of the same mason, can be found at St John’s Church in Axbridge. The window near the font is topped by a colourful medallion. All the stained glass is well worth seeing. The two oldest tombstones are medieval “low table” tombs. Research has revealed that more than 35,000 people have been buried in this churchyard over the last four centuries. Although unnerving to think of this, it is not surprising as space would have been a problem. The two terracotta lions which stand guard outside the porch were brought to Mark from Bruges by the vicar in the 1800s. Directly above the porch door are two more carved lions supporting a small statue of St Mark. I find the south side of the church most attractive, with battlements and interesting windows – it’s probably the oldest part of the church.

June Kelsall

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The font at St Mark’s church, Mark

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Tyntesfield (Gardening Group) 19


Gardening Club Activities September. On 7th September, the gardening group had a visit to Tyntesfield House, at Wraxall, near Bristol. It was a lovely sunny day, and Tyntesfield house looked really beautiful set amongst the lovely surrounding trees, some of which were just beginning to show colour in their leaves. The grounds were extensive with lots of walks. You could take advantage of seeing the house from many different angles. The house is much smaller than many country houses, but it was extremely interesting and the guides were very informative. The gardens are extensive, and were much enjoyed. There were several choices of places to eat, as well as a very good gift shop. October. On October 5th , 15 members of the Gardening group went for an Autumn walk at Maunsell Lock and the Bridgwater and Taunton Canal. I think some of the members found the venue rather difficult to find as it is down VERY small country roads, which twist and turn through the countryside. On the site of Maunsell Lock the people who own the tearoom have enlarged their premises quite a bit, and much satisfaction was gained from cups of tea and coffee after the walk, as well as large pieces of very nice cake! It was another beautiful day, and walks were made on both side of the canal, one way leading to Taunton and the other back into Bridgwater. Unfortunately there was not a great deal of wild life to see on that particular day. November. On 2nd November, we met in the community hall and had the benefit of a very good speaker, Neil Lovesey from Picket Lane Nurseries and Gardens, in South Perrott near Crewkerne. The subject chosen was “Why did my plant die?� and he gave us all some very, very good advice and the correct conditions, soil, climate etc, in which to keep our plants thriving. He also brought some of his home-grown honey for sale, all of which went very quickly, as well as some garden plants. December Don't forget the Christmas Tea which will be held in the Community Centre on 14th December at 2.30. Please bring a plate of food either savoury or sweet. We will be having a Christmas gardening quiz, with prizes. Diane Cruikshank

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New Year Lunch Party Menu (In a private room) Batch Country House, Lympsham on 5th January 2017 (£22.00 which includes 50p tip and 50p raffle ticket

STARTER 1)

Cream of Parsnip Soup served with Toasted Herb Croutons

2)

Fan of Galia and Cantaloupe Melon served with Fruits of the Forest Compote

Or Or

3) Atlantic Prawn, Mango and Avocado Salad with Lime Mayonnaise Dressing

MAIN COURSE 4)

Succulent Roast Turkey served with Cranberry Sauce, Chipolata Sausage and Stuffing

5)

Fresh Fillet of Salmon with a Champagne and Dill Sauce

6)

Slow Roasted British Beef with Yorkshire Pudding

7)

Mushroom and Spinach Filo Tart with a Rich Tomato Sauce (V)

Or Or Or

DESSERT 8)

Christmas Pudding accompanied by Brandy Sauce

9)

Cheese and Biscuits with Celery and Grapes

Or Or 10) Trio of Desserts – Mini Strawberry Pavlova, Lemon and Lime Cheesecake, Dark Chocolate Roulade **************************************************************************** Coffee and Mince Pies (This menu has items which may contain nuts)

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NEW YEAR LUNCH 2017 The New Year lunch will be at Batch Country House, Lympsham on Thursday 5th January 2017. Bookings are now being taken by Margaret Budden in room 1 of the Community Centre at Thursday coffee mornings. If you would like to go please complete the form below and take it to the coffee morning together with your payment of £22.00 which includes 50p tip and 50p raffle ticket. Or send to Margaret Budden, c/o the Community Centre, Berrow Road, Burnham-on-Sea, TA8 2ET together with a cheque for £22.00 payable to Burnham-on-Sea U3A. Name ................................................................................ U3A Membership No............Do you need a lift? Yes/No Will you be travelling by car? Yes/No If so, are you willing to take passengers? Yes/No How many ...................................... Who would you like to sit with? ....................................

CHOICE OF MENU Starter ............................................. Main Course .................................................................... Dessert ............................................................................... £22.00 paid ......................

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Another Birthday with Book Group 1 Over the years we have maintained the extremely pleasant routine of celebrating the Group’s “birthday” in carefully chosen ‘pleasant places’. For the last three years we have happily settled for Yeo Valley’s attractive restaurant in Blagdon where we held our meeting on the terrace overlooking the gorgeous views of the lakes after the meal. (below) Our celebratory meeting this year was blessed with lovely weather which made our book discussion even more enjoyable especially as our topic was slightly different from our usual routine. We had chosen the book “These Foolish Things” by Deborah Moggach because of the film that was based on it, We realised that everyone had seen the film “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” that was based on it, and thought it would be interesting to read the book (which actually had been written several years ago). It was fascinating to investigate the changes made in both the plot and characters, and to discuss whether these had improved (or not) the story. We also wondered how the author felt about the film version of her book and whether she had much to contribute to the final production. What a nice way to spend our eleventh birthday.

Jean Smith

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HAPPY VALLEY HOLIDAY CAMP 3 HUGO WALTON JONES......SECURITY Happy Valley Holiday Camp was a rather exclusive small camp restricted to more mature visitors - 50 years and over - the majority of clients classed as being rather up-market....many were regular visitors. 'HAPPY VALLEY' was situated in Dorset - deep in a hollow surrounded on three sides by pine woods providing privacy and shelter. Hugo Walton Jones - a retired army major had seen service in several war zones, fortunately suffered only minor physical injuries and had decided to take early retirement and sought a less stressful occupation. His wife, meanwhile, during his frequent long absences had found pastures new and exciting! Scanning situations vacant in the Dorset Times one in particular appealed to Hugo - Security Official Required - Responsible, no ties, teetotal, mature, for exclusive holiday camp. Hugo applied, was short listed and to his delight was successful. His office and adjoining chalet were at the top of the tree-lined entrance drive. Security gates, electronic, closed at midnight. On the whole it was a very pleasant stress-free occupation. His Assistant Manager, Tom Fry, was a very agreeable colleague. Similar to most holiday camps there was a pool, restaurant, and quite pleasant, clean entertainment. By midnight, usually, all was quiet. Each chalet did have an alarm connected to Security which was regularly tested at 10am daily. At just 3am on August Bank Holiday, an alarm sounded. Hugo sprang into action. Chalet No 45, a woman screaming hysterically, she said there were intruders outside. Several heavy feet, lots of noise....'hurry, hurry, help!!' Hugo was there within minutes having raised Tom to follow. Both armed with flash torches and batons. Approaching no 45 they heard heavy footsteps, it certainly sounded like a group of heavyweights. Flashing their torches just in time to spy the culprits....three huge wild boar bolted for the pine woods... it later transpired that they had only recently been released to the woods and no warning had been given. The two ladies, when they were assured as to who the intruders were, flung their arms around Hugo and Tom and certainly had a tale to tell after that holiday! Hugo's first duty next morning was to ensure that high, strong mesh fencing was to be installed post haste around the pine woods. Joan Webb

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HAPPY VALLEY HOLIDAY CAMP 4 TRISTRAM PARKER, ENTERTAINMENT MANAGER Hello Campers, Hi Di Hi - Tristram can't hear you. Hi di Hi. That's more like it. I'm Tristram Parker and I run the Theatre here at Happy Valley Holiday Camp. Some of you regular visitors will know that once or twice in the season I give a talk here about this lovely theatre, tell a few stories about the funny things that happen and conduct some of you backstage to see what the backroom boys get up to. But this time I want to talk about the terrible events of last April and to see whether we can throw any light on the affair. You will perhaps recall that the business was described in the papers as the 'Concert Party Murder', the victim being Sheila de Warre who was stabbed in full view of the audience on the night of the 23rd April. We had been performing a short melodrama called 'Lord Fortesque's Revenge which involved a fake stabbing using a prop knife with a retractable blade. However, on that night the trick knife had been exchanged for a real knife . Our actor, Montgomery Bourne, stabbed poor Sheila to death. As yet the police, despite their best endeavours have been unable to unmask the killer. There are apparently a number of suspects because, although Sheila was a fine actress, she was not the best liked or popular member of the troupe. To be frank she had been putting it about with some abandon and one theory is that a jealous lover either male or female had done the deed. Another theory is that blackmail was involved. Sheila was a heavy gambler on the horses and at casinos and spent far more than we paid her. So there we have it and I'm now throwing it open to the audience to see whether you have any questions or ideas. Yes, thank you. The prop man is certain that it was the trick knife that was brought from the prop room and placed on the prop table in the wings. Yes, any member of the troupe or back stage staff could have had access to the knife. No, the only fingerprints on the real knife were those of Montgomery Bourne. No, the trick knife has not been found. You make a good point in suggesting that the knife may be hidden nearby. Certainly the killer would not want to be seen carrying it away.

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You're doing well ladies and gentlemen. Let's see if we have any more ideas. In the meantime, I'm feeling a little dry, can someone back there get me a glass of my usual? Right, let's carry on. It occurs to me that whoever concealed the knife may have left their fingerprints on it or other DNA evidence. Oh thank you, I needed that. Wait a minute, wait a minute......I think I know where the knife might be hidden.....I think its in....aaaaagh aaaaaaagh...... aaaaagh....... Brian Smith -oOo-

Speaker Programme - next talk The next date for your diary is Friday 20th January 2017 when Pauline Kidner is coming to give her illustrated talk ‘Secret World: How it all began’. Pauline, founder of Secret World Wildlife Rescue Centre (or Bluebell Sett as it was originally known), will tell us how their original dairy farm developed into a tourist attraction and then into a centre where animals are rescued, rehabilitated and, if possible, released back into the wild. The talk will begin at the usual time of 11am in Room 3 in the Community Centre, with tea/coffee available from10.30am. Tickets are £1 (£2 for non-members) and include refreshments. Everyone most welcome. (subject to availability) Kath Hoyland -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Crossword Answers Across: 1) Decide, 4) Coward, 8) Ageism, 10) Fairies, 11) Carol, 12) Foul, 14) Crow, 15) Boxing Day, 17) Christmas, 20) Peas, 21) Leer, 22) Angus, 24) Ripens, 25) Lassie, 26) Turkey, 27) Tinsel Down : 1) Dwarfs, 2) Cherub, 3) Disc, 5) Opal, 6) Aviary, 7) Disown, 9) Magicians, 10) Forgetful, 13) Lochs, 14) Canal, 16) Spirit, 17) Camper, 18) Senses, 19) Ordeal, 22) Ante, 23) Sari

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Billy Elliot – Review What a treat we had seeing Billy Elliot at Bristol Hippodrome. The show was just brilliant, really capturing the imagination. You felt the highs and lows, the laughter and the sadness. The menace of the miners & police battles during the strike was pure theatre and you could sense the tension building with little Billy in the middle just wanting to escape and dance - and dance he certainly could! The Swan Lake sequence was just magical and his talent shone. The variety of dance from the children was amazing and the whole show was a delight from start to finish. Many thanks to Sue for arranging this unforgettable outing and all the work it takes to do this; many of us really look forward to our theatre trips which would not happen without her. Looking forward to the next show. Denise McKenna

Letter to the Editor I have been a member of U3A for twenty years. I have recently moved to Burnham on Sea and find there are several gaps in the programme that I would like to see reinstated. Philosophy, Singing for Pleasure, Opera and Bridge. I am happy to start a Philosophy group on the lines of “Do the Philosophers of old have something to say to the modern generation�. I held a coffee morning to see how many people were interested, only two people turned up, even though several people had expressed interest. I understand that my flat was difficult to locate. I live at Flat 6, The Gables, which is on the corner of Allandale Road. My post code is TA8 2HG for those of you, like me, who rely on satellite navigation to find anywhere. If you think you might be interested in joining the Philosophy group please email me and let me know, on dilkesjr@gmail.com. My telephone number is 01278 256210. I am thinking Friday morning once a month from 10.30 until 12 noon. Looking forward to meeting new people interested in Philosophy. Rosalie Dilkes, 27


-oOoActive Living Open to all

Tea/Coffee Talks Information and Advice on Benefits and Insurance Health and Nutrition advice The first Friday in the Month 10.00.a.m. to 12 Noon 50p We are also looking for volunteers to assist with serving the Teas and Coffees If you can help please give me a ring Ken Hindle 01278 787831

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Group Timetable Monday Group

Week

Time

Skittles Ukulele Luncheon 2 Mah Jong Poetry Scrabble 1 Scrabble 2 Table Tennis 2 Rummikub French 1 Classical Music “

1st & 3rd every 2nd 2nd 4th 3rd 1st every 4th Weekly 1st & 3rd 2nd & 4th

am 10 am – 12 noon pm pm 2 – 4 pm pm 2-4 pm pm pm pm pm pm

Group

Week

Time

Table Tennis 4 French 3 Darts Mah Jong Concert Party Patchwork 1 Book 1

every every 3rd 1st every every 3rd

am am am pm pm 2-4 pm 2 -4pm

Venue

Mark

Tuesday Venue

Wednesday Group

Week

Time

Venue

Painting for Pleasure Patchwork 2 Walking Easy Walking Canasta Play Reading Gardening Jewellery Table Tennis 1 Card Making

Every 2nd & 4th 1st 2nd & 4th every 3rd 1st

am am am am 2 – 4 pm 2 pm pm pm 2 – 4 pm 2-4 pm

CC CC

every alternate

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Bay Centre


Group Timetable Thursday Coffee Morning

every

10:00 to 11:15

Group

Week

Time

Venue

Lace Making Walking French 2 Embroidery 2 Keep Fit Lunch Barn Dancing Book 2 Rummikub Book 3 Supper Group 2

alternate 3rd every alternate weekly 3rd 2nd, 4th & 5th 1st 1st last 2nd

10 am – 12 noon am am 10 am -12noon am pm pm pm 2 pm pm 6:30 pm

Material Needs

Group

Week

Time

Venue

Latin Exercise to Music Creative Writing Table Tennis 3 Embroidery 1

alternate weekly 1st weekly weekly

11 am – 12 noon am am 1.45 to 3.45pm 2-4 pm

Room 1 CC various

Friday

Bay Centre

Saturday Group

Week

Time

Table Tennis 5 Easy Strollers 2

alternate 2nd

Strollers 1

weekly

am 10:30 – 3 pm (usually) 10:15am Nov - Apr 1:15pm May - Oct

Venue Apex Park

Groups meet at the Community Centre (CC) unless otherwise shown

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Directory of Groups Barn Dancing Book 1 Book 2 Book 3 Canasta Card making Classical Music 1 Classical Music 2 Classical Music 3 Concert Party Contact Creative Writing Darts Easy Strolling Easy Walking Embroidery 1 Embroidery 2 Exercise to Music French 1 French 2 French 3 Gardening Holiday Group Jewellery Keep Fit Lace making Latin Luncheon Club Luncheon Group 2 Mah Jong Painting for Pleasure Patchwork 1 Patchwork 2 Play Reading Poetry Rummikub Scrabble 1 Scrabble 2 Skittles Somerset Villages 1 Somerset Villages 2 Strollers Supper Club Supper Club 2 Table Tennis 1 Table Tennis 2 Table Tennis 3 Table Tennis 4 Table Tennis 5 Theatre U3A Travel (day trips) Ukulele Walking

David Napper Jean Smith Chris Preston Diane Cruickshank Pat Reid Heather Major Roy West Ken Henton Rod Winfield Joe Tohill Rachel Rowse Annette Moore Gerald Buncombe Eileen Merrett Sandra Flory Lisa Skinner Heather Major David Napper Gary Locock Colette Winfield Margaret Pickard (coordinator, not group leader) Diane Cruikshank J & G Hollingworth 783773 and Lynn Matthews Elaine West Rosemary Lane Irene Angood Jean Hancock Frank Parker Margaret Marshall Rene Klein Myra Woolley (contact only, not group leader) Margaret Budden Berry Jenkins Joe Tohill Jacky Grogan Eve Wilson Yvonne Royall Kath Hoyland Maurice Best Chris Lessey Jean Hancock 788218 and Liz Claydon Margaret Budden Sue Meads Irene Puplett 238955 and June Thomas John Robinson 787200 and Martin Davies Thelma Pike Wendy Bowell Carol Marriott Carol Marriott Sue Poole Eileen Merrett Rachel Rowse Marion Addicott

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Dec16 jan17 burnham on sea u3a  
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