The Courier
Monday 30 April 2012
sex&relationshipslifestyle.29 Lifestyle Editors: Ben Parkin, Emma Balter, and Lauren Stafford Online Editor: Lauren Cordell in association with:
Blind Date Katherine Mills, 2nd year History and Archaeology, meets Joshua Maunder, 2nd year Medicinal Chemistry Katherine on Josh
Josh on Katherine
First impressions? Josh made a great first impression by insisting that he came to my house to meet me before the date. Torrential rain hit the minute we left my house and we were forced to bond under an umbrella. That, along with a few jokes at my expense blaming the Irish for the weather, meant any nervous tension was immediately broken. Josh had suggested we go for drinks before the meal and this was a great way to get to know each other.
First impressions? I wasn’t able to do a quick Facebook stalk beforehand, so I didn’t know what to expect. I went over to pick her up at her house, she seemed pretty friendly and conversation flowed from the off, so it was a good start. I think we left her house in a bit of a hurry, but I was quite glad because I didn’t want to get judged by all of her housemates.
Did your date make any romantic gestures? None that come to mind! Except, he suggested that we share a dessert… Any striking conversation topics? Our conversation flowed throughout the evening with very few breaks, we talked about pretty much anything and everything from our courses and mutual friends to spending a lot of time admiring the restaurant - it had great character and the food was AMAZING. We also spent time analysing our great love of sport and interest in musical theatre. Any awkward moments? Really, I think that the date was free from awkward moments. If you were to get married and have babies, what would you want your baby to inherit from your date? It would most definitely have to be his musical talent. I never learned to play an instrument properly and as a great music lover it is one of my regrets in life. In addition, his flair for science would be pretty useful as it completely goes over my head. Did you open the ex-file? Not mine but it did come into conversation that his ex-girlfriend’s mother commented that he had a lot of tension in his back. Not quite sure how that relationship worked out, but it can’t have ended well. At any point did you understand why they were single? Josh was a lovely guy and a true gentleman; however, I am a stickler for wine etiquette and I like my date to be the one to pour my wine, although that wouldn’t be a problem for all girls. Perhaps between his demanding course and sport he doesn’t have much time for a lady in his life. Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss? I definitely made a new friend, however I don’t think there was any chemistry there (excuse the pun). If you were to take them home do you think your parents would approve? I’m sure my parents would approve, Josh has plenty to say and makes a great first impression. His interest in football would definitely go down a storm with my dad. Their only issue may be his English nationality… Marks out of 10? I would give him 8/10. I had a lovely evening, thanks Josh.
Did your date make any romantic gestures? Ermm, I don’t think so. We shared a pudding, is that romantic? Haha. I can’t really think what a girl could do as a romantic gesture on a first date, maybe that’s just me; it’s probably more of the guy’s role. Any striking conversation topics? We sort of chatted about everything really. We talked about interests, nights out (good and bad), sports, music, that kind of thing. I tried to keep my embarrassing night out stories to a minimum, I didn’t want to get judged too badly on a first date! We had quite a lot in common, so conversation was fun. We were also really impressed by the restaurant, so that brought on a few food-related topics. Any awkward moments? Not that I can remember. I don’t really get awkward much, I would just laugh anyway. If you were to get married and have babies, what would you want your baby to inherit from your date? Bit of an odd question! She was from Northern Ireland, so the accent would be good. She seemed pretty funny, or she understood my humour anyway, so that would be a good trait too. Did you open the ex-file? Not really, previous dates came up in discussion, but not much a ‘file’ as such. There was a bit of gossiping about other mates’ relationships though, which was funny. At any point did you understand why they were single? Not really, she seems quite busy, being in different societies and doing work, so potentially that’s a reason. She was nice enough though. Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss? Haha, there was never really that kind of ‘moment’ on the date, just lots of drinks and conversation. If you were to take them home do you think your parents would approve? Yeah they would, she seemed smart and she knew what she wanted to do in life, they like ambitious people. I don’t really know what they would disapprove of about her, my parents would probably like anyone they felt would be a ‘good influence’ on me to be fair. Marks out of 10? 8/10. The date went pretty smoothly, I think, and I had a good time.
Tashin’ on in the Toon Victoria Mole One, two, cheat We can handle near-death hangovers. We can handle childbirth and we can just about handle Jedward…but we cannot handle jealousy - it can be like having your confidence knocked out cold and taking a bitch pill. The worst kind of jealousy by far comes after finding out that your significant other has been unfaithful. I’ve never been in the position of ‘cheater’ or ‘cheated on’ but I have unknowingly been the ‘cheated with’, and upon finding out, thought: you just ruined your relationship for that, really? Even if we haven’t been on the receiving end ourselves, we know that it’s one of the most hurtful things you can do to someone and yet it’s still common for both sexes to be victims of infidelity. Lack of self-control is the biggest reason, and it’s hard to take the moral high ground when you think of all the times you’ve eaten a diet-defeating doughnut (although if it made your low-fat cereal bars cry, you’d probably think twice about it). Sometimes people cheat because they can; they know that they won’t get caught or they’ll be forgiven. However, most of the time it’s a moment of weakness rather than the product of a frisky ex-womanizer. You should know whether your beau is one, unless you’ve never seen them on a night out (a.k.a. the prowl). Your better-than-average pulling techniques are nothing short of dangerous, especially when less-than-average pulling techniques have an extreme success rate from 1am onwards... I was once classily approached in Sinners with the ambitious line: “I don’t normally come up to girls like this but you’re stunning and I just had to tell you”. After finding out that I was detoxing so had not had a drop of alcohol, he predictably bid adieu and headed towards the bar. It’s embarrassingly easy to be taken advantage of after having a routine treble (or two), but people take advantage of alcohol just as much by making it their excuse for everything from declarations of love (or hate) to public stripteasing. It can be a relationship’s kiss of death, being a tragic combination of overhonesty, impaired judgement and making people friskier than Berlusconi. So, with alcohol taking its familiar role as culprit in the hall of shame, there isn’t usually an emotional connection between ‘cheater’ and ‘cheated with’, although cheating can be emotionally motivated; feeling unappreciated can drive people to seek affirmation elsewhere. However, it doesn’t excuse straying and the guilty party never escapes scratch-free, be it losing someone they care about or hooking up with a bunny boiler (nature’s punishment, sort of like the clap); with lines like the aforementioned, you’re begging for the latter. Cheryl Cole is an example that you couldn’t be more desirable and still not be immune to infidelity. Being the perfect partner can’t always prevent it - it’s down to the other person and in Ashley Cole’s case, you become the country’s biggest tool. Everybody has an opinion on whether you can move on from infidelity; those who’ve been there know that you can’t just fall out of love but staying will mean never feeling secure with that person again. Every couple is different; the only universal truth that can be applied to every one is that if they both care about each other more than they care about themselves, they have the best chance at happiness and staying faithful.