Page 1

ALSO

Summer and Substances

JUNE–AUGUST 2019

|

www.tlc4cs.org

DECISIONS, DECISIONS...

How Can We Prepare Our Children to Make Responsible Choices? » Parenting with Dual Families » Talking to Your Child About Drugs and Alcohol » Five Technology Rules Every Parent Must Follow


| 855-832-8879

3

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org


JUNE–AUGUST 2019

FEATURES

6

Decisions, Decisions...How Can We Prepare Our Children to Make Responsible Choices?

14 16

Parenting with Dual Families

Talking to Your Child About Drugs and Alcohol

20

Five Technology Rules Every Parent Must Follow

23

Summer and Substances

IN EVERY ISSUE

2 From the Director 5 The Kitchen Table 10 Faces in the Crowd 11 40 Developmental Assets 12 Assets in Action 18 Q&A / By the Numbers PRINTED BY

PRODUCED IN CONJUNCTION WITH

TO ADVERTISE OR CONTRIBUTE Barb Swierzbin: (989) 496-1425 bswierzbin@tlc4cs.org

COVER PHOTO BY

Wandering Albatross Photography www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

1


Director FROM THE

Vikings for Friendship members get ready to launch an e-cigarette campaign at Northeast Middle School in May. The campaign was created by The Legacy Center and the Leadership Class at Midland High School, and it has been used by high schools and middle schools throughout the county.

ABOUT THE LEGACY CENTER The Legacy Center provides evidence-based learning and developmental strategies, in collaboration with other organizations, to help individuals reach their full potential. Below are The Legacy Center’s program areas: LITERACY SERVICES: At The Legacy Center, we believe everyone deserves the chance to learn how to read. For more than 30 years, we’ve been providing literacy programming to the greater Midland Community. Today, we offer one-on-one tutoring in Adult Basic Education, English as a Second Language and the Barton Reading & Spelling Program (for those with dyslexia). YOUTH SERVICES: We support initiatives and programs that ensure area youth excel and become productive members of society. The Center has adopted the concept of Developmental Assets, which immunizes youth against risk-taking behaviors. We also coordinate the activities of the Community Alliance 4 Youth Success, a group of local community leaders who are dedicated to preventing teen substance abuse. CONSULTING & EVALUATION SERVICES: Since its inception, the Center has helped local nonprofit organizations establish outcomes and evaluate their programs to determine whether and to what extent the program is effective in achieving its objectives. The results derived from these projects allow our partners to make program adjustments, retain or increase funding, assess community impact, engage collaborators, and gain favorable public recognition.

2

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org

s I write this (in the middle of April) it is snowing. It has been a long, hard winter. It makes the wonderful summers here in Michigan that much sweeter. With the colder weather and another school year in the rear view mirror, it’s important that we as parents and community members understand the potential down side of that. We know substance use increases in the summer JENNIFER HERONEMA months. Kids are bored, have more unsupervised free time, and have easier access to alcohol and prescription drugs in homes where parents work all day. Our Summer and Substances article shares ways to help make this summer safe and healthy. We continue our series on Social Emotional Learning by focusing on good decision making. This is a skill that can help our kids throughout their lives, and most especially during the summer when they won’t have as many adults around to help guide those decisions. In the end, it makes our jobs as parents that much easier, and who doesn’t love that? We are fortunate to be able to reprint another article from Dr. Tim Elmore. This one gives us a perspective from a child, who we may not stop and think about when posting on social media. Certainly none of us would purposely embarrass or humiliate our child, but we forget that posting pictures of them that they may not think are particularly funny or becoming is actually hurting them. It was an eye-opening article for me. We are starting a series for our Confessions of the Kitchen Table. We are so grateful to have a family who is willing to share their story in hopes of helping others. It’s so scary to have a child who struggles to be mentally well, and we don’t know what to do to help them. Our next issue will focus on interventions, and we’ll also hear from the child who went through the struggles. We hope there are topics in this issue that can help everyone have a safe and healthy summer! Follow The Legacy Center w w w.tlc4cs.org w w w.facebook.com/tlc4cs Follow the Community Alliance 4 Youth Success w w w.drugfreemidland.org

THE LEGACY CENTER FOR COMMUNITY SUCCESS Jennifer Heronema, President/CEO (989) 496-1425 jheronema@tlc4cs.org 3200 James Savage Rd, Ste 5 Midland, MI 48642


THEY HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO CHANGE THE WORLD WILL YOU STAND WITH THEM?

IGNITE THE POTENTIAL IN A LOCAL CHILD TODAY

In just 2-3 times a month, you can make a difference for a child through the power of one-to-one mentoring.

GET STARTED TODAY AT CREATEBIGCHANGE.ORG

Helping Families Grow and Thrive Preschool for three- and four-year-olds at five locations Childcare for children ages 12 and under After-school and summer programs for youth and teens Summer Food Service Program (SFSP) for youth ages 18 and under Dow College Opportunity Program to support and mentor high school students Parent education and social services Free computer and Wi-Fi access Call us for details at 989.832.3256, or visit WMFC.org Located at 4011 West Isabella Rd. (M-20) 14 miles west of Downtown Midland

www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

3


Summer Reading Kickoff All Ages Library Friday, June 7, 6:00pm–8:00pm Move and Groove Galaxy+ 2–6 Years Story Room Tuesday, June 11 10:00am & 11:00am Knit & Crochet Circle 16+ Orchard Room Every Tuesday, 11:00am Tiny Tots Twinkle Stars+ 0–23 months Story Room Wednesday, June 12 10:00am & 11:00am Make It & Take It: Rock Painting 18+ Orchard Room Wednesday, June 12 2:00pm–4:00pm Crafty Thursday Maker Space Thursday, June 13, 11:00am–7:00pm Free Film Friday Auditorium Friday, June 14, 6:30pm

Move and Groove Galaxy+ 2–6 years Story Room Tuesday, July 2, 10:00am & 11:00am Knit & Crochet Circle 16+ Orchard Room Every Tuesday, 11:00am SAT Giveback & Tips Session Grades 10–12 Auditorium Tuesday, July 2, 6:30pm Free Kids Movie (G) Auditorium Wednesday, July 3, 2:00pm LIBRARY CLOSED: Thursday, July 4 Free Kids Movie (PG) Auditorium Friday, July 5, 2:00pm Block Party @ the Library Story Room Saturday, July 6, 10:30am–12:00pm Make it Monday: Galaxy Jar* Grades 6–8 Maker Space Monday, July 8, 2:00pm

Crane Folding Workshop with MCFTA* Ages 6+ Orchard Room Saturday, June 15, 2:00pm Make It Monday: S’mores Solar Oven* Grades 6–8 Youth Services Monday, June 17, 2:00pm Storytime Yoga for Two with Well-Bean* 3–5 years Story Room Tuesday, June 18 10:00am & 11:00am Tiny Tots Twinkle Stars+ 0–23 months Story Room Wednesday, June 19 10:00am & 11:00am Crafty Thursday Maker Space Thursday, June 20, 11:00am–7:00pm Majestic Moon Planetarium Presentation* Grades 1–3 Auditorium Thursday, June 20, 1:00pm & 3:00pm

Free Kids Movie (PG) Auditorium Friday, August 2, 2:00pm Lego Robotics, Mars Rovers* Grades 4–5 Maker Space Monday, August 5 2:00pm–3:00pm *Registration will begin July 1.

SAT Practice Test* Grades 10–12 Youth Services Wednesday, June 26, 1:00pm

MI Notable Author: Anna Clark Auditorium Thursday, June 20, 7:00pm

Crafty Thursday Maker Space Thursday, June 27, 11:00am–7:00pm

Free Kids Movie (PG) Auditorium Friday, June 21, 2:00pm

Cosmic Kids Storytime* 4–5 years Story Room Thursday, June 27, 2:00pm

Movie & Popcorn Bar* Grades 9–12 Auditorium Friday, June 21, 5:30pm

Yoga 101* 18+ Community Room Thursday, June 27, 6:00pm

Game Night 18+ Community Room Friday, June 21, 6:30pm

Free Kids Movie (PG) Auditorium Friday, June 28, 2:00pm

Strawbee Outer Space Inventions!* Grades 4–5 Maker Space Monday, June 24, 2:00pm–3:00pm

Astrology Program* Grades 9–12 Maker Space Friday, June 28, 6:00pm

Celestial Circle Time+ 2–3 years Story Room Tuesday, June 25 10:00am & 11:00am

Reach for the Stars* Grades 1–3 Community Room Tuesday, July 9, 1:00pm & 3:00pm

Teen Book Club* Grades 9–12 Teen Spot Friday, July 12, 3:00pm

Space Pirates Escape Room* Grades 9–12 Conference Rooms Friday, July 19, 1:00pm–5:00pm

Tiny Tots Twinkle Stars+ 0–23 months Story Room Wednesday, July 10 10:00am & 11:00am

Free Film Friday Auditorium Friday, July 12, 6:30pm

Free Kids Movie (PG) Auditorium Friday, July 19, 2:00pm

littleBits! Constellations* Grades 4–5 Maker Space Monday, July 15, 2:00pm– 3:00pm

Discovering the Writer Within: Michigan Authors’ Workshop Series July 22–26

Storytime Yoga for Two with Well-Bean* 3–5 years Story Room Tuesday, July 16 10:00am & 11:00am

Touch a Truck Parking Lot Wednesday, July 24 9:30am–11:30am Rain Date: July 25, 9:30am–11:30am

Tiny Tots Twinkle Stars+ 0–23 months Story Room Wednesday, July 17 10:00am & 11:00am

Crafty Thursday Maker Space Thursday, July 25, 11:00am–7:00pm

Free Kids Movie (G) Auditorium Wednesday, July 10, 2:00pm Make It & Take It: String Art 18+ Orchard Room Wednesday, July 10 2:00pm–4:00pm Crafty Thursday Maker Space Thursday, July 11, 11:00am–7:00pm Cosmic Kids Storytime* 4–5 years Story Room Thursday, July 11, 2:00pm NASA Speaker: Dale Force Auditorium Thursday, July 11, 7:00pm

Celestial Circle Time+ 2–3 years Story Room Tuesday, July 9, 10:00am & 11:00am

Crafty Thursday Maker Space Thursday,August 1, 11:00am–7:00pm

Outer Space Escape Rooms* Conference Rooms Thursday, June 20, 12:00pm–7:00pm

Free Kids Movie (PG) Auditorium Wednesday, July 17, 2:00pm Crafty Thursday Maker Space Thursday, July 18, 11:00am–7:00pm

Free Kids Movie (PG) Auditorium Friday, July 26, 2:00pm Game Night 18+ Community Room Friday, July 26, 6:30pm Free Kids Movie (PG) Auditorium Wednesday, July 31, 2:00pm

Move and Groove Galaxy+ 2–6 years Story Room Tuesday, August 6 10:00am & 11:00am

Crafty Thursday Maker Space Thursday, August 8 11:00am–7:00pm

Make It & Take It: Galaxy Jars 18+ Orchard Room Wednesday, August 14 2:00pm–4:00pm

Knit & Crochet Circle 16+ Orchard Room Every Tuesday, 11:00am

Black-Light Painting* Maker Space Friday, August 9 Grades 6–8 2:00pm Grades 9–12 6:00pm *Registration will begin July 1.

Game Night 18+ Community Room Friday, August 16, 6:30pm

Free Kids Movie (PG) Auditorium Wednesday, August 7, 2:00pm

Join the Library’s community read “Broadcasting Happiness” by Michelle Gielan. Pickup your copy at the Library and see the author at Matrix Midland this Summer! Visit our website for more information.

Free Film Friday Auditorium Friday, August 9, 6:30pm

Trivia Night: Outer Space Movies* 18+ Community Room Tuesday, August 20, 7:00pm

* Registration is required. + Ticket is required. Grace A. Dow Memorial Library cityofmidlandmi.gov/library • 989-837-3430


CONFESSIONS FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE Editor’s note: With more and more youth struggling to be mentally well, we wanted to share the story of a family who has lived it, and they too, hope their story can help others. We want to thank the family for sharing their journey.

for red flags is not black and white, but looking at the entire picture over time, to developing patterns is essential to early intervention. The following red flags, when combined, are beneficial for knowing when outside intervention is needed:

hen I used to lay my middle daughter down in her crib to sleep, joy would course through my heart at her remarkable being. She was another picture of a healthy, happy child, and I delighted in her very being. As a parent, I worked so diligently, so purposefully to provide her with everything she needed to grow up healthy, happy, and resilient. Never in my wildest imagination would I have believed that at the age of 14 she would struggle for her life, and that I would be navigating counselors, emergency rooms, psychiatric hospitals, and residential boarding schools. In a society where parents are easily blamed, I would also come to terms with the fact that I was not to blame for this struggle. In honesty, there was no one single factor I could blame and the navigation would be long, arduous, rewarding, emotional, and deeply personal. As a parent whose child struggles, I now share a story in which watching for red flags, seeking proper interventions, and taking care of myself have defined a difficult journey in which joy remains available. As a parent, I want my children to balance independence and interdependence, to find and implement what works for them. I want to support their choices. However, when the choices become self-limiting and harmful, it does not happen overnight. Watching

WITHDRAWAL. Withdrawal can take many forms. In general it is movement away from what was previously enjoyable such as activities, positive friendships, family engagement, and school. It is wise to watch for any changes in these areas of life while considering other possible red flags. Withdrawal from anything that promotes thriving could lead to a life of surviving. ACADEMIC REGRESSION. I had not hovered over my children because they had established patterns of responsibility within their academic experiences. However, when other factors presented, I chose to research what was happening academically. To my dismay, my daughter’s grades, across all subjects, had transitioned from As and Bs on daily assignments and tests to a series of 0s and Fs. Although I would have liked a teacher to reach out and ask questions, I learned when I communicated with them, that they feared my response. This was clearly an indicator that something had changed. SELF-HARM. Self-harm comes in multiple forms. For us, it was cutting that was discovered by her sister. However, alcohol, drugs, sexual activity, picking, pinching, and extreme risk taking are behaviors that create a feeling. It was through this discovery that she was able to verbalize that she couldn’t “feel,”

meaning she could not recall when she had last experienced happiness, sadness, anger, or fear. She simply felt empty and cutting allowed her to feel. PEER CULTURE. For my daughter, she withdrew from healthy friendships, justifying a move into a negative peer culture with friends who had little adult supervision, little motivation to succeed, and lots of motivation to oppose adult intervention. This ultimately led to complete isolation from any healthy friendships into a single relationship which was defined by emotional manipulation and rebellion. Once negative peer culture surfaced, as a parent, I lost most any influence I had except for further isolating her to home and school without any peer interaction. This is an unhealthy and dangerous position for adolescents to be. Even with school support, she made harmful choices within the school that resulted in us making a difficult decision to remove her and complete her year at home. SUICIDAL/RUN AWAY RISK. Twice in our journey, the risk of imminent harm surfaced with the second resulting in an emergency room visit and admission to an acute children’s psychiatric unit to ensure her safety. As suicidal risk declined and she returned to the same setting, her thoughts shifted to running away. The common thread was that she was looking for an escape. As my daughter’s red flags appeared, I worked hard as her mother to provide and seek effective interventions. The next installment of this series will look at those interventions. ■

YOU CAN SUBMIT YOUR STORY TO: jheronema@tlc4cs.org For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though—if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.

www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

5


decisions, decisions

How Can We Prepare Our Chi to Make Responsible Choices By JENNIFER MILLER, M.ED.

6

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org


s...

ildren s?

“I don’t like playing anymore, but all my friends are joining the team again,” relays my eleven-yearold son, Ethan, voicing his debate over whether to commit to another season of baseball. He has played for a number of years cultivating valuable friendships along the way. But, as he’s grown, the coaches, parents, and kids alike have become more competitive. And so too has the pressure. than has enjoyed the game less as the emphasis on performance has increased. This spring, he was faced with the challenging decision: Do I continue to do something I’ve always done because my friends expect me to or do I follow my interests and motivation? Children are at the very beginning stages of developing decision-making skills. They grow from basing decisions on chance with games like “Rock, Paper, Scissors” or “Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe” to weighing pros and cons like whether to rejoin a baseball team that’s grown stressful. Then, in the teen years, youth face tempting risks like whether to follow peer pressure to try alcohol despite the fact that most parents — as confirmed in a recent survey of Montana parents — disapprove of underage drinking. Children will increasingly have to decide when to accommodate friends, when to assert their needs, when to show care for others, and when and how they should think ahead about consequences that might result from their actions. Young children rely on adults to establish and enforce the rules. Their central concern focuses on their own safety and secure attachment to their parents and educators. But, by the age of nine, children move to the next stage of moral development in which the care of others and their social relationships takes priority. This is also a time when children begin inventing their own rules among their peers through games. They weigh social values when decision making like belonging to a friend group, contributing to a team, or meeting parent and teacher expectations, comes into play. This new level of decision making is aided by the fact that children gain the ability to continued on page 9

www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

7


#suicideprevention

Faith is a gift. Faith is a choice. Faith is a journey. Children and youth receive a friendly welcome at MPC. Through nursery care, baptism, Sunday School, VBS, youth groups, worship, fellowship, confirmation, service, graduation, and beyond, we support and surround each other with opportunities to grow in our personal faith journeys. Visit us to see where your journey can take you. 1310 Ashman Street I Midland, Michigan I 989-835-6759 I mempres.org

We provide a healing environment through peer support to children, teens and their families who are grieving a death

www.childrensgriefglbr.org

8

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org

{

STAY WITH THAT PERSON LISTEN, REALLY LISTEN GET THEM TO HELP OR CALL SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP NEVER KEEP A SECRET ABOUT SUICIDE. IT IS BETTER TO LOSE A FRIEND THAN FOR A FRIEND TO LOSE THEIR LIFE.

{

www.cmhcm.org ∙ 800.317.0708

The game of life isn’t all child’s play. It starts out of curiosity. A cigarette after school. Sneaking one of dad’s beers. The game keeps you hopping. Needing to try more. You leap forward to liquor. It is getting easier to jump to the next. Marijuana. OxyContin. Heroin. Where will it end? If your drug or alcohol use has you worried where you’ll land, call us. We understand this risky game, and can help you land safely. For confidential help, please call 631 -0241.


continued from page 7

see from others’ perspectives. This empathy is a skill that requires lots of practice. You may hear your child trying to read others’ minds but not exactly hitting the mark with their inferences: “Wendy stared at me in the hallway. My hair must look so weird today.” But actually Wendy was consumed with her own worries. She was staring aimlessly lost in her thoughts, not taking notice of your daughter’s hair. We can help by offering our own empathy for our child’s feelings and questioning negative perceptions: “I hear you’re feeling upset that she disapproved of your hair. Are you sure? Could it be that she was just having a bad day?” Children around eight years old also gain the added decision-making support of selftalk. Though we, as adults, may view that inner voice as a way to criticize ourselves for our imperfections, in fact, it serves a critical self-regulating role. Instead of a child requiring a mom to warn her not to go near a hot fire, your child begins to tell herself, “Danger! Don’t go near the fire,” and guiding herself. She’s learned from years of hearing your warnings, and whether or not you are present to guide her, it’s been internalized. This is why our eights, nines, and tens seem more competent and trustworthy. Their internal warning system has been turned on, and they have enough life experience to help them avoid danger and make positive choices. What does it mean to teach our children responsible decision making? The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning defines it as “the ability to make constructive and respectful choices about personal behavior and social interactions based on considerations of ethical standards, safety concerns, the realistic evaluation of the consequences that stem from actions and the wellbeing of self and others.” Children do not automatically connect their actions to a reaction. Yet, authentic responsible decision making requires consequential thinking. Preparing our children for independence in future years will require us to offer them numerous small chances to make decisions so that they are ready for the big choices to come. In fact, our children’s brain development will not solidify the rational, logical thinking required of the adult years until they are in their early to mid-twenties, so our ongoing practice of little choices helps strengthen those neural connections.

So, how can we prepare our children at any age to make responsible decisions? Here are some suggestions: 3-5-YEAR-OLDS: Offer frequent, limited, authentic choices. Young children are working on mastering numerous everyday life tasks like getting shoes on or putting toys away though they are not yet fully competent. These can add up to daily frustrations as a child refuses help while asserting, “I can do it myself!” Instead of getting sucked into daily power struggles, why not offer your child a sense of control, the chance to exercise their burgeoning skills as well as gain valuable practice in making small choices? Be certain both options are acceptable to you so that the choice is truly theirs to make. The most mundane of options — “Do you want to pick up the Lego set or books?” — can offer your young child a sense of agency and the motivation to go with it. So, think twice before you go ahead and grab the pink socks. Instead, discover the power of offering, “Will it be pink or red today? You choose.” 5-7-YEAR-OLDS: Become informed and establish rules together. As children are learning the rules of school, it’s a perfect opportunity to discuss home rules. What are some important principles your family values? Keep it simple and positive — what to do, not what not to do. “People before screens” is a favorite in our family. Then, as you go about your everyday life, talk about how it applies. When friend Aidan comes to the door to play, we turn off screens and take advantage of the play opportunity. Also, get into the habit of becoming informed together. Why should you limit screen time? Do you know how unlimited screen time can impact a child’s growing brain? Research and learn together. Then, create rules collaboratively. Your child will learn that in order to make responsible decisions, it’s important to become informed first and learn the relevant facts. 8-10-YEAR-OLDS: Learn about social justice and fairness issues. In the Highlights State of the Kid survey of 2,000 U.S. kids, ninety-three percent of 6-12-year-olds said they would take action if they saw someone doing or saying something mean. Because of our children’s raised social awareness at this age, it’s an ideal time to introduce them to issues of fairness around the world. Why are some people treated unfairly because of learning differences, color, creed, or mate

preference? How can we reflect on these issues expanding our children’s circle of concern? And, how can we guide them to act with compassion since clearly they have the desire? Begin in your home community by identifying areas of need and working as a family to find ways to act with kindness, to include those who are excluded, and to serve others in need. 11-14-YEAR-OLDS: Follow through on repairing harm. Children make mistakes in order to learn, and sometimes those choices can harm others. Whether it’s hurt feelings or a broken toy, in order to learn responsibility our children need to repair the harm they’ve caused. Our children might naturally react by shying away from the person they’ve harmed, hoping that time will cure all. That’s why our support is critical. How can we help them follow through by mending a broken fence or by offering a sincere apology? If we assign a punishment such as, “Go to your room! You’re grounded!” Or “No iPad for a week,” we miss the opportunity to teach the natural, real world outcomes of their behavior that always exist if we pay attention. How will our child learn consequential thinking when we teach them that breaking a neighbor’s china teacup equates to no iPad for a week? Our angry child will come to the conclusion that we are simply trying to cause them pain. They cannot see any logical connection because there isn’t one. Instead you might say, “You broke Mrs. Jackson’s teacup when you were throwing the ball in the house. How do you think you could repair it as well as the relationship with Mrs. Jackson?” If their idea is safe and reasonable, support it by guiding alongside them as they follow through on actions and words to repair harm caused. If you help your child reflect thoughtfully on their choices, you’ll create a habit that will serve them for a lifetime. Discuss what their highest priorities are and how this choice does or does not align with them. Share your own family values and how they impact your decision making. Most importantly, project ahead to the future. If you choose to play on the team, how will you feel in August at your final game — happy or burned out? As parents, we frequently face the most challenging decisions of our lives in raising our children to be confident, compassionate, and independent future adults. As we guide our children to practice taking responsibility through their everyday choices, we take essential steps toward that greater goal. ■

About The Author: Jennifer S. Miller, M.Ed., author of the popular site, Confident Parents, Confident Kids, has twenty years of experience helping adults become more effective with the children they love through social and emotional learning. She serves as a writer for ParentingMontana.org: Tools for Your Child’s Success, a statewide media campaign to educate parents on social and emotional learning. Her book, “Confident Parents, Confident Kids; Raising Emotional Intelligence in Ourselves and Our Kids — From Toddlers to Teenagers” is available now for pre-order. www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

9


Check out who’s standing out in our community. IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE? Please visit our website http://tlc4cs.org/faces-in-the-crowd/ and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.

Dalton DeBoer

FACES IN THE CROWD

NORTHEAST MIDDLE SCHOOL, 7TH GRADE

Dalton has been a member of the Vikings for Friendship committee at Northeast Middle School throughout the 2018-19 school year and has a passion for helping others. She was a leader for the school fundraiser to help a family at Northeast Middle School who lost everything in a house fire. Dalton brainstormed a fundraiser with an Olympic theme which raised a few hundred dollars for the family. She is a cheerleader for those less fortunate and is always looking for ways to help others. She already has an idea for next school year.

Ty Murray

COLEMAN JR/SR HIGH SCHOOL, 8TH GRADE

Ty is a three-sport athlete, a member of the Coleman Future Farmers of America Chapter (FFA), and a member of the Geneva Livestock 4-H Club. He is also an all A student. As a member of the Coleman FFA Chapter, Ty was the first 8th grade student to compete in the Junior High Public Speaking Contest with his speech titled “Where Did All of the Farmers Go,” highlighting the need for young people to pursue one of the 250 career opportunities in agriculture. Ty soared through the district and regional contests. He then went on to compete at the Michigan FFA State Convention where he placed 9th. Congratulations to Ty on all of his accomplishments!

Morgan Simons

BULLOCK CREEK HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE

Morgan takes pride in her accomplishments. She is executive president of Student Council, secretary of the National Honor Society, and co-captain of the varsity soccer team. She has received the Lancer Leader Award and ranks among the top 10 percent of her class. Morgan spends three afternoons a week in an elementary classroom in her quest to become a teacher. She also gives back to her community by volunteering for Big Brothers/Big Sisters. She is a co-chair for Operation Wish List, a program that makes sure Midland County foster children receive gifts at Christmas. Morgan is a Girl Scout and recently completed her Gold Award. Through the project, she made playground equipment and bookshelves for Shelterhouse.

Hollie Kayden

SAGINAW VALLEY STATE UNIVERSITY, THINKCARDINAL PROGRAM

Hollie is a young adult with autism. She earned a certificate of completion from Dow High and is attending a program at SVSU for individuals with disabilities. Hollie had struggled a lot in her life with behavioral issues related to autism. The program at SVSU has opened opportunities for her that allow her to live a full, included life as a young adult. Although she doesn’t earn credit for her classes, she is being held to the same standard as any other student. She has completed two classes thus far, achieving a 98% in both. Congratulations, Hollie. Keep up the good work!

Suicide Resource & Response Network

COMMUNITY PARTNER

SRRN has been on the frontlines of suicide prevention, intervention, and aftercare for 30 years. The most recent Michigan statistics show suicide is the second leading cause of death for teens over the age of 15 and the third leading cause of death for children ages 10-14. Through facilitating a multitude of trainings, SafeTALK, ASIST, Yellow Ribbon, and support groups, SRRN educates parents on how to respond to situations where thoughts of suicide may be present. Specifically, through these trainings, parents and teens learn to identify risk factors, and listen to create open and honest conversation so that they are able to recognize invitations for help in an effort to prevent suicide. For more information, visit www.suicideresourceandresponse.net.

10

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org


AGES 13+ / SUMMER 2019

Are you an experienced artist, or wanting to try your hand at a new skill? From traditional classes to one-day workshops, we have new options to fit your schedule. REGISTER TODAY! midlandcenter.org/class 989.631.8250

GET GET INVOLVED INVOLVED WITH WITH MCTV! MCTV! LEARN LEARN HOW HOW TO TO CREATE CREATE PROGRAMS PROGRAMS FOR FOR TV, TV, YOUTUBE, YOUTUBE, AND AND PODCASTING PODCASTING WEB: WEB:www.cityofmidlandmi.gov/MCTV www.cityofmidlandmi.gov/MCTV TV: TV:Charter Charter188-191 188-191|| AT&T AT&T U-Verse U-VerseCh Ch 99 99 SOCIAL: SOCIAL: MCTV MCTVon onFacebook Facebook

40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS

ART CLASSES

40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior. Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start. Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, we will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.

Turn the page to learn more!

VIDEO: VIDEO:YouTube YouTube LISTEN: LISTEN: Podcast Podcast PHONE: PHONE:837-3474 837-3474 Must Mustbe beresident residentage age12 12or orolder older

The 40 Developmental Assets® may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. Copyright © 1997 Search Institute®, 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved.

www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

11


assets in action

40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS

18 SUPPORT

1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s). 3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors. 5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.

Teammates volunteer at the concession stands

EMPOWERMENT

7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.

1

14 Cub Scouts reap the reward for their achievement!

BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS We’re in this thing together!

8

11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences. 13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior. 15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.

CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME

Midland High students meet with Representative Annette Glenn

12

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org

17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.


If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please submit the information through http://tlc4cs.org/assets-in-action/ with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.

Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.

22 COMMITMENT TO LEARNING

21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school. 25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.

High school students visit Ziibiwing Cultural Center

POSITIVE VALUES

26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people. 27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs. 29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.” 30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility. 31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.

34

26 Students create holiday cards for children in the hospital

SOCIAL COMPETENCIES

32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds. 35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.

Students watch a Japanese artist demonstrate his technique

40

POSITIVE IDENTITY

37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.” 38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem. 39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.” 40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.

Post-graduation celebration at Bullock Creek High School

www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

13


14

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org


PARENTING with dual families

Two Vital Ways to Support a Positive Summer Visit with a Parent By KELLY KILLHAM, LCSW arenting through divorce is difficult, to say the least, but one of many main points reiterated tirelessly from experts is that children should maintain important, independent relationships with each parent whether the household is married, single, or divorced because it fosters good judgment, character, and values. While being separated for the summer may be difficult for child and parent, it is definitely in the best interest of supporting such a relationship. Parenting in a consistent manner is demanding for any household, let alone navigating the difficulty of working toward building a working relationship with a former partner. There are two components to be considered when preparing your child and yourself for an extended visit with their mother or father following a divorce or separation: the practicalities of the visit and the emotional issue for parents and child of adjusting to the change. Be sure the other parent is aware of details vital to summer activities such as swim level, hiking level, or biking level. Communicate regarding your child’s favorite foods, habits, i.e. needing a nightlight or even friends that they will miss and would like to contact over the summer. While something may seem like a small detail, knowing and sharing aspects of your child’s day-today life will help support their adjustment so that they can enjoy the visit, which will in turn helps foster that positive independent relationship with their other parent. Make sure that the communication plan is clear, including whether the child will have access to a cell phone, Skype, or other methods of communication, as well as set up a schedule. This will be supportive in terms of helping your child to adjust to a new place because it will ease both your anxiety and theirs. It has been shown that children who are allowed consistent and open communication with both their parents through divorce adjust better to the change.

Children frequently demonstrate or express in a multitude of imaginative ways that communication between mom and dad is key whether separated, single, divorced, or even intact as a family. In one instance, a child specifically stated that being able to contact either mom or dad when needed has been vital in her being able to cope with emotions and be successful with

RESOURCES Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child Isolina Ricci, PhD The CoParenting Toolkit: The Essential Supplement for Mom’s House, Dad’s House Isolina Ricci, PhD “A Parent’s Guide to Making Child-Focused Visitation Decisions” svnworldwide.org/visitation-decisions.asp

the transition to and from each parent’s household. When planning and preparing for the visit (or always), make certain that positive communication is of the utmost priority. Positive communication supports the second component, taking care of your child’s emotions, as well as your own. It could go without saying that divorce, separation, and coping with two households is emotionally loaded for children and parents alike. However, helping your child to name and process through emotions such as fear, anxiety, and worry (if applicable) prior to the trip is vital. Working through

emotions with a trusted adult builds selfesteem and security in children. Equally as important is the parent’s ability to cope with their own anxiety. Helping your child to share their worries with their other parent in order to foster trust is a great way to support their relationship. It’s important to remember, you cannot help them through freaking out when you are freaking out, so find sources to support you in working through your difficulties with being separated from your child/children for an extended period of time. One idea might be making a list of long overdue tasks to be accomplished for helping yourself through the absence. Another might be to reconnect with an old friend. Be supportive of your child’s excitement, and supportive of their having that positive independent relationship with their other parent because it will largely benefit your child in the long run. If children are older and will miss social activities and events with their friends, processing and understanding their potential anger, sadness, and frustration will also help you and the other parent to help your child to adjust and work through their difficulties. Whatever the emotion, helping your child through the emotion and helping your coparenting partner to understand the emotion will support the positive experience, and the positive relationship that you wish to build will in turn help your child to become a happy well-adjusted positive person later in life. In summary, when preparing for your child’s extended summer visit, take care of the details and take care of yourself. Help your child through the emotional difficulties and support their positive emotions in order to foster that positive relationship with their other parent as well as build your working relationship with the other parent. Hopefully the results will be a positive, well-adjusted child with two great families. ■

www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

15


TALKING TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT

drugs & alcohol By MATTHEW QUINN, LCPC, CADC

oday kids as young as ten years old are beginning to experiment with alcohol, marijuana, and tobacco. Because the brain is not fully developed until the mid-twenties, young people are more likely to take risks compared to adults. When the brain is still developing, addictive substances physically alter its structure and function faster and more intensely than in adults. These effects interfere with brain development, which can affect decisionmaking, judgment, impulse control, emotion, and memory. Using drugs or alcohol at an early age also increases the risk of addiction. For many parents, discussing this topic can be difficult, but research confirms the idea that when parents talk to their children about drugs and alcohol, they are much less likely to become users. If you’re thinking about starting the conversation with your kids, consider taking these steps: START WHEN THEY’RE YOUNG It’s better to start talking with your child before he or she reaches the teenage years. As a parent, it’s important to make sure your child is aware of your values and concerns. Start early and continue the discussion throughout the teenage years. HAVE A CLEAR MESSAGE It’s important to explain that not all kids try drugs and alcohol and using these substances is not a rite of passage. Even using alcohol or drugs once or twice can cause health problems, lead to trouble with school or the law, and create problems with friends and family. Even if you used drugs or alcohol as a teenager, it’s okay to talk to your kids about not using. In fact, if you had any negative experiences or consequences because of your use, you may want to tell your kids about it.

EXPLAIN THE CONSEQUENCES OF DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE It’s essential that parents be parents to their children, and not try to be their friends. Teens will hear many messages about drugs and alcohol that are unclear and mixed. A parent who wants to be the “cool” parent may be communicating that drugs aren’t dangerous or risky. Without being too rigid or judgmental, let your children know that there are consequences for using drugs and alcohol, and that their healthy development can be affected.

Listening is the difference between a real conversation and a lecture — and kids hate lectures.

make the conversation age appropriate — a conversation about drugs is very different with a 10-year-old than with a 16-year-old. SET A GOOD EXAMPLE Your kids watch what you do, even more than you may think. Set a good example with your own behavior and be conscious of your own substance use, even if it’s just having a glass of wine or a beer. LOOK FOR SIGNS OF DRUG USE Be aware of any indication that drug use is happening. These signs can include: + Any changes in personal appearance or behavior such as red or watery eyes, or changes to eating or sleeping habits. + Changes in mood, such as lack of motivation, depression or extreme hyperactivity, or other unexplained mood swings. + Missing possessions, lack of money. + Poor school attendance, increased need for discipline or changes in grades. + Possession of drug paraphernalia.

USE TEACHABLE MOMENTS Talk regularly to your child about drugs and use every opportunity you can. For example, if there’s a story in the news about drugs or a related topic like depression, use that as a reason to have a discussion. Also, it’s vital to understand that frequent, regular conversations are needed to get the message across — once is not enough. Listening is critical! Listening is the difference between a real conversation and a lecture — and kids hate lectures. Show your children that you value their thoughts and feelings. Get involved and stay involved as they develop and grow. Listen to their struggles and stresses. Also,

+ Secretiveness about possessions and personal space, increased isolation. GET HELP AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE Parents don’t always take substance use seriously at first, especially with alcohol and marijuana. They may think it’s just a phase, but then can be overwhelmed when casual use becomes a real problem. Don’t underestimate the risks of drug use. Seek out a professional and ask for help. Your child’s future may depend on it! When a teen’s substance use is treated early, it frequently leads to abstinence and can result in no further problems. This is even true when the use is mild or moderate. ■

About The Author: Matthew Quinn provides community relations for Rosecrance Health Network in the western suburbs of Chicago. He completed his Bachelor’s Degree in psychology at the University of Notre Dame and Master’s Degree in clinical psychology at the Illinois School of Professional Psychology. Matthew is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) and Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (CADC) in Illinois. He has been counseling adolescents and adults in individual, couples, and family counseling for the past 15 years.

16

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org


www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

17


NUMBERS How do I set an appropriate curfew?

288

As kids move into their teenage years, it’s important to give them enough freedom to learn how to make their own choices, which helps them lead independent lives. Setting reasonable boundaries on their activities and time out with friends can help them make responsible decisions and develop healthy habits; curfews are part of striking that balance. There’s no one right answer for setting a time, but there are strategies for setting realistic curfews: + How much structure does your child need? If they struggle to make responsible choices without firm boundaries in place, a consistent time might work the best for them. + What’s their sleep schedule? If they have an early morning, an earlier curfew may benefit their health and productivity. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, teenagers need about 8 to 10 hours of sleep per day. Getting enough sleep is important for their mental and physical health, as well as helping them excel in school and other activities.

The most number of years a library book was overdue.

1000

The number of species of bananas; we only eat one of them.

2–3

+ What are the plans? If they want to attend a special event that goes past their usual curfew, it may be reasonable to adjust their curfew. Try getting their input on what they feel is a reasonable curfew based on the circumstances. If they feel they had a say, they may be more willing to follow the curfew. If their proposed time seems unreasonable, let them know why and clearly state when they are expected home. Whatever curfew is set, it’s important to communicate clearly what the expectation is, what to do if they’re running late, and then hold them accountable. An example of a consequence may be cutting their usual curfew back by 30 minutes, which they can earn back after proving they can stick to the new time. If they do break curfew, it’s important to let them know that you’re happy that they arrived home safely, but that you were worried. As sometimes happens, worry comes across as mad. At that point it’s best to tell them you’ll talk about the consequences in the morning when you’re feeling calmer. Just as in adulthood, circumstances happen that are beyond their control, and they may have to break curfew, for example poor weather conditions that make it dangerous for them to drive. Setting the expectation to call before missing curfew rather than making excuses afterward prevents worry and confusion.

HAVE A QUESTION?

email: jheronema@tlc4cs.org We cannot guarantee all questions will be published; however, we will do our best to respond to all questions submitted.

18

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org

The number of hours an elephant sleeps per day.

1.2 million

The number of mosquitos, sucking once each, that it would take to drain all the blood from a human.

.028

The speed in mph that a Heinz ketchup bottle squirts.

189

The number of things named after George Washington.


Change a Teen’s Life: Become a Midland Mentor!

We are seeking volunteers for our Midland Mentors program at the Juvenile Care Center. As few as two hours a week can make a huge difference in a teen’s life. No experience necessary. Training provided.

For more information contact: Sue Landis, Program Director slandis@co.midland.mi.us (989) 837-6255

Both trips take place at a private ranch in Sanford. Call The ROCK for more information.

AUGUST 1 - 3, 2019

Riverdays has joined forces with Midland Balloon Festival for one action-packed weekend. Don’t miss out!

presented by:

Schedule and more details @ riverdaysmidland.com www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

19


20

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org


5 TECHNOLOGY RULES every parent must follow By DR. TIM ELMORE

onia Bokhari was an 8th grader when she joined the world of social media for the first time. She was excited, to say the least, to jump on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and other platforms her friends were already on. What she discovered made her feel betrayed. Upon setting up her profile, she quickly found out her mom and sister had been posting about her for her entire life. Right before her young teenage eyes, were pictures of her that made her feel awkward and even a little violated: + Pictures of her as a young child in her underwear, her mom had posted. + Stories of silly things she had done, her older sister had shared. + Accounts of funny statements she’d made as a sister or daughter. In a recent article in Fast Company magazine Sonia said when she was younger, she could hardly wait to participate in social media. Upon reflection, she later wrote: “Then, several months ago, when I turned 13, my mom gave me the green light and I joined Twitter and Facebook. The first place I went, of course, was my mom’s profiles. That’s when I realized that while this might have been the first time I was allowed on social media, it was far from the first time my photos and stories had appeared online. When I saw the pictures that she had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed.” What her mother and sister thought was “cute” and “innocent” felt much different to the other person in the photo, which was Sonia. THE LESSON FOR ADULTS AS WE APPROACH SOCIAL MEDIA I only bring this up because adult leaders—parents, teachers, coaches, youth workers—must practice what we preach. If we want our kids to handle social media well, and be careful about what they post, we should think twice about posting THEIR photos on line for all to see. Sonia said it would have been different if her mom had merely shared some of those personal pictures to family members or close friends. Instead—her mom and sister felt the need to broadcast them on-line. Sonia wrote: “Teens get a lot of warnings that we aren’t mature enough to understand that everything we post online is permanent, but parents should also reflect about their use of social media and how it could potentially impact their children’s lives as we become young adults.” Well said, Sonia.

The fact is—our portable devices have both connected us and divided us. Both teens and adults have felt compelled to post comments or content on-line. Some, I’m concerned, are more consumed with posting their life, than living their life. Several middle school and high school students openly acknowledged (in our focus groups) that they are “addicted to their portable devices.” This addiction that both adults and teens have, has hindered rational thinking. Technology has become our master rather than our servant. Recently, I heard a Florida businessman say: “When our phones had leashes, we were free. Now our phones are free, and we have leashes.” That statement says it all. FIVE RULES OF THUMB FOR ADULTS USING SOCIAL MEDIA So let me offer some simple ideas to consider when it comes to smart devices: 1. Keep your time on social media under two hours a day. Research tells us that more than two hours is unhealthy. People are more vulnerable to anxiety and depression when on social media for longer. 2. Get permission before you post. If you include others in a picture, ask for their permission. This gives them dignity and enables them to retain agency on what’s posted about them. 3. Check your motives. As an adult, ask yourself why you want to post pics of your kids or students? If the pics don’t communicate respect for them, it’s best to not post them. 4. Think reputation, not entertainment. Try trading places with the people you’re about to post online. If you were them, would you like this photo or post? How will it affect their reputation? 5. Only post what adds value to others. Many posts on Instagram, for instance, are for the selfish pleasure of the one posting; often they’re narcissistic. Think of how the post benefits others first. ■

About The Author: im Elmore is an international speaker and best-selling author of more than 30 books, including Generation iY: The Secrets to Connecting with Teens & Young Adults in the Digital Age, Artificial Maturity: Helping Kids Meet the Challenges of Becoming Authentic Adults, the Habitudes® series, and 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid. He is founder and president of Growing Leaders, an organization equipping today’s young people to become the leaders of tomorrow. Sign up to receive Tim’s blog at www.growingleaders.com/blog and get more information on Growing Leaders at www.GrowingLeaders.com and @GrowingLeaders @TimElmore. Used with permission. All content contained within this article is the property of Growing Leaders, Inc. and is protected by international copyright laws, and may not be reproduced, republished, distributed, transmitted, displayed, broadcast or otherwise exploited in any manner without the express prior written permission of Growing Leaders. Growing Leaders, Inc. names and logos and all related trademarks, tradenames, and other intellectual property are the property of Growing Leaders and cannot be used without its express prior written permission.

www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

21


If your child needs help contact Midland’s Youth Intervention Specialist @ 989.832.6855


summer

AND SUBSTANCES By KIM YORK, Counselor

ummer is here! Our kids having been dreaming about summer break from school, and experiencing warm weather free time. We know that although this is the dream of most teenagers, it can be a worrisome time for parents. Because there is a lot of unstructured, unmonitored time, parents have the right to be concerned. During the summer, the rate of accidents involving teens is higher. Alcohol drinking and substance abuse rises by over 70%, not to mention a higher number of car crashes. How can parents keep their children safe during the summer and yet allow their teenagers some freedoms? The answer involves parents knowing they have the right to manage the unsupervised time of their children. Enforcing the rules of the 4 Ws is one successful strategy. Who are you going to be with? Where are you going? What are you going to be doing? When are you going to be home? Along with the 4 Ws, comes the parental responsibility of following through. It is not unreasonable to show up at the “Where,” call the parent of the “Who,” follow up on the

“What” and set the limit of “When” to be home. Additionally, parents need to be aware of other risks out there to which their teen may be exposed. Unsupervised bon fires, lake parties, overnight stays, camping, and other get-togethers where alcohol, marijuana, and other drugs are present are not uncommon in the summer. “Rave” events advertised through social media are held frequently throughout the summer. These events have music and a party atmosphere where access to illegal substances is prevalent. There are numerous concerts and summer events where unsupervised youth have opportunity to access drugs as well. Expecting teenagers to contribute to the household chores, find a job, volunteer, participate in summer camps/activities are also part of the mix. We know that a teenager who is busy, has less of a chance to socialize in an unhealthy way. Parents who are pro-active in their teenager’s activities during the summer months, have better outcomes when it comes to keeping their adolescent safe. Discussing the 4 Ws, providing accountability, and keeping teens busy are strategies that are proven effective. ■

www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

23


Midland Soccer Club Youth Recreational & Travel Soccer TOPSoccer (special needs) Adult Leagues

 Recreational youth leagues Ages u4 – u18  Developmental curriculum Ages u3 – u18  Specialized goalkeeping training  Youth academies

Make a difference in a child’s life by becoming a tutor. Call Kristi at (989) 496-1425 to register for tutor training Aug. 19/20, 9 am- 2:30 pm.

 College recruiting / coordinator  Host of two tournaments annually  Low club fees Fusion Tryouts: June 15, 16 Fall ‘19 Recreation Season Registration: begins June 17

www.midlandsoccerclub.org 989.832.0895

One Club. One Community. One Goal.

RECOVERING YOUTH FUTURES

YOUR

CHILD ON

IS COUNTING

YOU

Since you first held that tiny bundle in your arms, you’ve wanted to protect your child from harm. Why stop now? Misuse of alcohol and controlled substances could harm your child’s health, impair judgment and even lead to criminal charges. The time to intervene is

NOW.

Call today to schedule a free, one-on-one evaluation. 989∙832∙6855

A substance use evaluation & treatment program for Midland County youth

24

June–August 2019

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

www.tlc4cs.org


Dump Your Drugs!

YOUR UNUSED MEDICATION DOESN’T ALWAYS GO UNUSED

Keep Our Community Safe!

Take your unused medication to one of the following locations: Coleman Family Pharmacy 211 E Railway, Coleman Mon-Fri 9-6; Sat 9-1

Coleman City Hall 201 E Railway, Coleman Mon-Fri 8-4:30

Meijer Pharmacy 7300 Eastman Ave, Midland Mon-Fri 8-9; Sat 9-7; Sun 10-6

Michigan State Police 2402 Salzburg Rd, Freeland Mon-Fri 8-4

Midland County Law Enforcement Center 2727 Rodd Street, Midland 24 hours a day/7 days a week

Walgreens 1615 N Saginaw Rd, Midland Mon-Fri 9-9; Sat 9-6; Sun 10-6

2019 Dump Your Drugs Mobile Events Date

Time

Location

Event

Sat. June 8

9am - 12pm

Midland Farmers Market

Second Sat. /Month

Sat. July 13

9am - 12pm

Midland Farmers Market

Second Sat./Month

Sat. Aug. 10

9am - 12pm

Midland Farmers Market

Second Sat./Month

Sat. Sept. 14

9am - 12pm

Midland Farmers Market

Second Sat./Month

Wed. Oct 9

10am - 2pm

Midland Mall

Senior Expo

Sat. Oct 26

10am - 2pm

Law Enforcement Center

National Take Back Day*

* Sharps disposal (needles, syringes, lances) provided by MidMichigan Medical Center Midland at National Take Back Days only.

Dump Your Drugs is a collaborative effort between The Legacy Center, Community Alliance 4 Youth Success, Midland Police Department, Midland County Sheriff’s Office, and Michigan State Police. Funding is provided by Mid State Health Network.

www.tlc4cs.org

|

YC MAGAZINE

|

June–August 2019

25


The Legacy Center for Community Success 3200 James Savage Road, Suite 5 Midland, MI 48642

Get Back in the Game Safely and Quickly with In addition to injury prevention, MidMichigan Health’s WellSport Program is designed to help expedite the assessment, referral and treatment of athletes of all ages suffering from strains, sprains, contusions, fractures, joint injuries and concussions. The program focuses on injury prevention through education and training, helping injured athletes return to play as safely and quickly as possible, as well as managing medical conditions that can affect performance. This multi-disciplinary program is the region’s only medically-directed sports medicine practice.

Program Goals § Prevent injuries through education and training. § Help athletes of all ages achieve their highest

potential and prevent illness and injury through comprehensive sports physicals.

§ Help injured athletes get back in the game as

Locations Campus Ridge Building 4401 Campus Ridge Drive, Suite 1000 Phone (989) 837-9350

safely and quickly as possible.

§ Midland, Michigan 48640

MidMichigan Health Park - Bay 3051 Kiesel Road, Bay City § Bay City, Michigan 48706 Phone (989) 778-2888 MidMichigan Medical Center - Mt. Pleasant 4851 E. Pickard Street, Suite 2500 § Mt. Pleasant, Michigan 48858 Phone (989) 837-9350

§ Manage medical conditions that can affect

performance, such as asthma, diabetes, heart disease, weight or arthritis.

§ Promote the use of “exercise as medicine” to maximize health and wellness.

For more information, visit www.midmichigan.org/wellsport.

Profile for Deanna Johnson

YC Magazine, The Legacy Center - June to August 2019  

YC Magazine, The Legacy Center - June to August 2019