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The “How to Love” Manual Loving words to the soul hidden beneath his ego, a lovers’ pocket guide

Natalia Love


Natalia Love

The “How to Love” Manual: Loving words to the soul hidden beneath his ego, a lovers’ pocket guide Copyright 

2011, 2013 by Natalia Love. All rights reserved. Back cover art work

by Shane Beresford. Complete cover art by

CreateSpace.

ISBN: 1477615423 ISBN-13: 9781477615423 ii


I hold the vision of you in my gentle loving hand so clear and real that I can smell your beauty pouring into me, I can feel your passion twirling on my tongue, I can hear your wisdom whisper in the back of my consciousness. I have it carved into my bone matrix. I have seen No thing and I have felt No thing and I have tasted No thing but All thing I have been. It is carved deep into my bones. And this is where you reside too.


Table of contents Forward

i

Chapter 1: The break up

1

Chapter 2: Stop living in the past

8

Chapter 3: Soulship

12

Chapter 4: You have to die to the ego

19

Chapter 5: …to be born to Love

22

Chapter 6: Take care of you first

29

Chapter 7: How do you love God?

33

Chapter 8: You wanna be spiritual?................. You gotta do the work

37

Chapter 9: The right woman as a catalyst

39

Chapter 10: Coming home

42

Chapter 11: How to be a truly powerful………. woman

48

Chapter 12: I am not your enemy

58

Chapter 13: He knows I love him by…

66

Chapter 14: Deciding to be parents

69

Chapter 15: It all starts in our mama’s belly

72

Afterward: Love and chocolate

87


Forward

What really matters in life is you and I, and how we treat one another. .

i


Chapter 1

The break up. There is a reason behind the reason, a plan behind the plan and a Truth behind the Truth.

H

e sat across from me at the Veggie grill on Wilshire boulevard. He looked at me so truthfully with his dark, deep eyes. Those lips of his that I so loved kissing, said with determination, “Just know I love you. Please, know that “I …love…YOU.” I had fallen in love and my love has been growing profoundly as the days and nights went by. We were at the point of no return. And as he said his “I love yous” so truthfully, he continued, 1


Natalia Love

“…but I’m afraid I have no freedom now. I want us to still be together AND I want to date other women.” I tried with all my strength and elegance to hold it in, and not show the man I loved and who supposedly loved me, that his last words were killing me softly. The truth is I knew he loved me. I just couldn’t understand how you can tell someone you love them, yet choose to honor the illusion of fear. I couldn’t understand how you can love someone, yet not be willing to at least attempt to break the walls keeping you from surrendering to another, and to allow yourself to love and be loved freely and fully one-on-one, heart-to-heart, bones-tobones… Ay! Scary, right! No wonder today only few know how to love good. And I think this is it. People want love; however they are not willing to live their love and be lived as love by someone else. It is scary because we don’t know how it will unfold. What if the person leaves or hurts us... tomorrow, or next year, or in 10 years? But… what if they don’t? We need to understand that we must treat the other person as “the one,” be it the other is a lover, a date, or a partner, because 2


The How to Love Manual

she/he is indeed “the one” present in your life right now. She/he is also a human being, who has been through her/his share of experiences and who, just like you, needs to be treated not only with deep passion but with integrity and respect above all. That is true romance. Wow, imagine what the world would be if all of us treated each other like that. But no… we are too scared and we are too hurt so we want to hurt back, sometimes intentionally, other times subconsciously. As a result, we often end up hurting someone who actually has not done us any wrong, but because somebody else hurt us in the past. What a mess perpetuated. This dysfunctional behavior needs to stop. There is no easy way around it so we just need to stop, and to do this, we need to truly do our own work to heal and forgive. Give yourself the opportunity to look into those places within that you have been trying to forget, deny or neglect. You have to look yourself into your soul’s eye, to allow yourself to go to those buried places and to tenderly take care of your own healing. You and no one else can do it.

3


Natalia Love

You need to forgive. Forgive yourself, forgive the ones who have hurt you, and ask for forgiveness from the ones you have hurt. God wants you to be happy. But it is up to you to actively engage living in happiness. If you never give forgiveness, you will always have that “thing� eating you on the inside, sabotaging and killing your potential for living a good life. It is up to you how much you choose to forgive, all of it or a part of it, but it is imperative that you start (for)giving. There may be a part of you that does not want to give, and there may be a part of you that always wants to forgive. And they both are a part of the whole that is you. It is very important to understand that when all is said and done, these two parts that are part of you want nothing more or less than for you to be happy and to have all that you want. What you may not like is the method of how one part is doing it vs. the other. A great initiative would be to integrate those two parts within yourself to accept the good they are offering while acknowledging that the methods used in achieving good in your life may not actually be that good and honorable to you and others, and 4


The How to Love Manual - Natalia Love