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Welcome to:

Table Trivia

Providing Old Fashioned Savings and Service Since 1910

Burns Garage Ted & Angela Marshall

541-573-6014 188 N. Broadway Ave., Burns, OR 97720

Sherrie Modey, Branch Manager Tristan Henke,Loan LoanOfficer Officer Dan McNeley, Laura Isaacson, LoanOfficer Officer Tristan Henke, Loan Joyce Moser, Moser, Mortgage Mortgage Specialist Specialist Joyce

Burns Branch 541-573-2006

www.beobank.com Member FDIC

Table Trivia advertising GETS YOU NOTICED! For rates and information, call 1.888.302.1919

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JETT BLACKBURN REAL ESTATE, Inc. 707 Ponderosa Village Burns, OR 97720

541-573-7206 Email: jblackbn@centurytel.net

www.jettblackburn.com

72172 Lone Pine Road • Burns, OR

541.589.2898 OR 541.573.7020 (Broadway Deli) “Call for Last Minute Reservations”

90+ Wines

A nice bottle of wine for dinner

BROADWAY BOUTIQUE Casual & Business Women’s Wear

541.573.1605 5 3 0 N O R T H B R O A D W AY • B U R N S

Malheur

National Wildlife Refuge “A place for everyone”

Tranquility • Wildlife Viewing Photography • Auto Tour Route Wildlife Museum • Interpretation Hiking Trails • Fishing • Hunting

Visitor Center 32 miles south of Burns 36391 Sodhouse Lane • Princeton, OR • 541.493.2612 www.fws.gov/malheur

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You Didn’t Need to Know…… Despite a population of over a billion, China has only about 200 family names If you told someone that they were one in a million, you’d be saying there were 1,800 of them in China In 1892, Italy raised the minimum age for marriage for girls to 12 A red-haired man is more likely to go bald than anyone else.


You might be a redneck if …. **Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor. **Your birth announcement included the word “rug rat”. **You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle. **Your bumper sticker says, “My other car is a combine.”

60 miles south of Burns

39814 Hwy. 205 - Frenchglen, OR -541.493.2825 fghotel@yahoo.com www.FrenchglenHotel.com

**The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot. **The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth. **Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse. **There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

Furniture - Appliances - Wood Stoves Floor Coverings - Sleep Center

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Custom, Locally Made Memorials See our work on Facebook jesseemonuments@q.com

Elks Care

Burns Elks Lodge #1680 541.573.6170

elkslodge1680@centurytel.net

Elks Share

118 N Broadway Ave. Burns, OR.

www.elks.org

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

Elite Taxi & Transport

541.413.1116 4


Only In America….. ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. ...do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke. ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

authentic jewelry - pottery & navajo rugs - local paiute - santo domingo - zuni

Original Indian Paintings Sheila Pollreisz 541.493.2535

42456 Hwy 20 E Burns, OR

“Biggest Little Kitchen Store in Eastern Oregon”

Gourmet & Gadgets 340 N. Broadway, Burns - 573-1725 Latest in gourmet cookware, bakeware, cutlery, & newest in kitchen gadgets and small appliances Oregon & NW food products, Linens, Candles, Nature gift lines, Gourmet chocolates, Bridal & gift registry

• Veteran's Service Officer, OAA (Older American Act) programs • Noon meals on Wednesdays and Fridays • Weatherization and energy assistance programs • Dial-A-Ride public bus transportation and more!

For more information, call: (541) 573-6024 17 S. Alder • Burns, Oregon 97720

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H MA

BENCHMARK LAND SURVEYING, INC.

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NC

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SURVEY

217 N. CANYON BLVD. JOHN DAY, OR 97845 800-699-0516

www.benchmarklandsurvey.com

FLOOD ELEVATION

LAND PARTITIONS

BOUNDARY SURVEYS

WATER RIGHTS

Wash - Vacuum - Interior Detail Pressure Wash - Wax - Buff

Jerry Woodfin

541.240.0606 489 W. Monroe - Burns

Ruffcut Finished lumber Beams to Counters Moldings

Siding Timber Framing Tongue & Groove Blue Pine, Fir, Juniper

P. 541.573.5030

C. 541.589.1311

Custom Sheds & Storage Jerry Parkin 541-508-8484 6

A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at the neurosurgeon’s house. After a two-minute job the plumber demanded $150. The neurosurgeon exclaimed, ‘I don’t charge this amount even though I am a surgeon.” The plumber replied, “I agree, you are right. I too, didn’t either, when I was a surgeon. That’s why I switched to plumbing!” A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”


The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

A PARTS STORE “The Parts Store for All of Your Auto Parts Needs.” 402 W. Monroe • Burns

(541) 573-2081

Faith Baptist Church

777 N. Saginaw • Hines • 541-573-7777 www.faithbchc.com • Sunday Worship:

10:00am

(Broadcast over KBNH 11:00am)

• Sunday School: 9:00am • Youth Programs and AWANA for kids

Rev. Mike Fast

Senior Pastor

Mike Teague

An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station. The Officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the most wanted fugitives in the USA. Little Boy says “ He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?!” Officer says “Yes.” Little Boy asks “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture??

Associate Pastor of Family

480 W. Arthur St. • 541-589-1275

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If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday! The Mind of Steven Wright “Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”

WESTERN DRILLING CO. “Getting the Well Job Done” since 1979

Tim Riley Owner

Call For an Estimate: 541-573-5695 Burns, Oregon

“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” “If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.” “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

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Air Conditioning In-Room Coffee Comfortable Lobby 62 Digital Cable Channels Fax & Photo Copy Microwaves/Refrigerator

“If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.” 2015

Breakfast Buffet Free Local Calls Truck/Trailer Parking WiFi Internet plus Lobby Station Free Popcorn Pet Friendly

Burns