3 minute read




At first you ignore it, the feeling that something is just off... That the world seems colder and more malignant than you had previously known. It was like any other day before then. Bright and Sunny, Cold and Raining... No matter the weather or the monotony of your daily routine something was gnawing at the back of your head. You look fine, you seem fine, but do you feel fine? No. Something is amiss, and you are on the verge of a threshold. A Dark writhing abyss fills your mind as possibilities begin to flood your consciousness. The smallest details, the slightest wavers you over analyse them... A threat to your own sense of normality. This is the moment you look at your neighbour like many times before and you feel there’s something more... What is he hiding? No... What are they hiding?


At first you ignore it, that feeling. But the more you dismiss it the more outlandish your delusions. First your neighbor, now your postman. Your Wife perhaps? Even your son is not above suspicion. Yes, it seems you have finally cracked. This feeling that everyone is in some case conspiring against you... This is Paranoia. Not all cases are to this extreme. It might just be a case of extreme anxiety. Or perhaps one of the various lessors known mental disorders such as Megalomania or perhaps even Erotomania? Whatever the specification know you are not alone. Despite what popular media articles and television shows tell you Paranoia is not as severe as they make it out to be. Indeed, most cases only last for upwards of a month after periods of Stress or Trauma.

I myself even suffered from a very mild case of Paranoia. More of a glorified anxiety, most simply thought i was shy. Actually, I still am but it was more than that. I grew up in a household that preached to me at a young age that the world was a harsh place. That murderers and psychopaths were rampant and that everyone was in it for themselves and they would trample over you to get what they want.

To a certain extent they were accurate with these statements. But it always stuck to me that perhaps it was far more literal. After all, I couldn’t hear what other people were thinking... Who knows what secrets they were keeping from me. Don’t get me wrong I’m not diagnosed with the illness I’m just hyper cautious when it comes to strangers (especially the nice ones that always smile, damn creeps). But if you are suffering let me tell you how I calmed myself down...


Sure, without a fact your being watched. It is the day and age of the CCTV camera.

But know that even though you can be seen you are still more or less invisible. The people you pass on your day to day travels won’t even remember you the next day so try to make the most of this.

Smile back, hell even give them a wave. It’ll make them feel good and it will make you feel good. And the best part is they are still going to forget you. Don’t live in constant fear of the opinions of others. Half the time they’re not even paying attention. If you are diagnosed sure medication and a psychologist will probably help you leaps and bounds. But let these words stick with you for the rest of your days.

None is out for you blood. Maybe the hooded guy on the train wants your wallet but that’s about it. Attempt to grow your social skills to better blend in with the crowd. And if you’re like me eventually you stop worrying, and then you start living.

This story is from: