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issue one


Three hours. That’s all it took for our friendship to form. Our first time meeting each other was in Dublin airport on a cold March morning. This was followed by a three hour flight to Istanbul which we spent sitting down the back of the plane (as we are the cool kids), just the two of us. At the beginning of the flight we were strangers, by the end of it we were mates. That’s the unique thing about EYP - it will bundle you together with complete strangers and after a short space of time you will be having the absolute banter. You may spend an evening playing bizarre games or you could simply spend a flight having conversations that ranges from college aspirations to the different words used throughout Ireland to describe kissing (good ole ‘shift’ the ever favourite topic) - who knows? All we can do is encourage you to take part in this session - you might not know it yet; but some of your futures mates are lurking in that crowd. So go on, creep on ‘em.

editorial

EYP isn’t normal. It doesn’t abide by social norms or etiquette. It doesn’t follow a rulebook or any protocols. It puts you in a situation where college ]students, studying for exams, will take the weekend off work, off study (and off drinking) to dance around a circle like a chicken. EYP almost presents an inverse reality. Strike up a game of ninja with strangers - yell insults at random committees - get frustrated as you simply try pass an orange around the room. Over the course of this weekend you’ll be presented with a series of situations you will naturally begin to question as odd or strange (Why is my chair on all-fours making pig noises? Why are we hitting each other with newspapers? Where is my left shoe gone?) However, instead of questioning the abnormality of it - embrace it. For one weekend just throw caution to the wind and shout out crazy ideas, solutions or jokes. Go bananas, go bonkers, go mad! We encourage the madness, promote the insaneness and crave the different! Xoxox Gossip Editors


contents “So wear your brightest smiles and get ready to perform the funky chicken” 1,2,3 - Explore EYP | Artemis Triki “I haven’t been able to keep up with the new Made in Chelsea episodes” Interview with the HO | Megan & David “You’re not in Kanas anymore deary” May the odds be ever in your favour | Cian Rynne “I fell asleep within the shadow of France’s most famous monument” A possibly fictive diary of a traveller | Yannick Léonard “Push people out of the way to exert your dominance over lesser beings” Meeting people within EYP | Jack Sargent “I wait with anticipation as to what marvels (and atrocities) will be on show” Fashion Police | Caoimhe O’Rourke “It’s just that many of the delegates will despise you” Cardinal sins of EYP | James Joy “EYP is an incredibly important actor in the low-quality coffee market” The beauty of sleep deprivation | Sarah Ek “Abruplty awaken from your dream about....” F_ll in the Bl__nks | Ann-Sophie Vandommele “It’s really rather simple” Committee Games | Media Team


1,2,3 Explore EYP

Last year, in October, the European Youth Parliament celebrated its 25th anniversary in Fontainebleau, where it was launched as a school project at the Lycée François-Premier. After a quarter of a century consisting of hundreds and hundreds of EYP Sessions, thousands of young Europeans participating and 36 national committees, let’s examine the unique elements that make it so successful: Teambuilding The funniest, yet crucial part of an EYP session, as it creates a positive climate and friendship bonds among delegates. There are different types of games: icebreakers (to get to know each other) trust, problem-solving (in order to learn to work as a team) and energizers (the name says nothing about the real action, trust me). Singing and acting like crazy are perfectly integrated in the magical world of teambuilding. So, wear your brightest smiles and prepare yourselves to perform the ‘funky chicken’.

Committee Work Here you begin to discuss your topics, which all derive – as you have probably guessed - from burning economic, social, political, environmental and regional issues. Don’t be shy! Express your opinion, brainstorm possible solutions and debate! The tangible product of your work is called a resolution; this will be later voted for or against in the General Assembly. Therefore make it worth reading General Assembly (G.A) This is a formal parliamentary procedure, where all participants are reunited to consider the results of the previous stage. Each committee has to present and defend its resolution. Be polite, don’t interrupt others, respect the Board and –for God’s sake- be properly dressed. Stand up and make your Chairs proud. But more importantly do yourself proud and enjoy yourself! Artemis Triki (GR)


Who is Anna Nichols? Why does she talk like that? What is a bebo Stunnah? These are questions that follow Anna around wherever she treks. Born and raised on the pebbly shores of Greystones - this Alex alum has defined bebo stunnah-ery within EYP. With a “Totes” here and an “OMG Goys” there, she has stormed her way to the top and is now in charge of pulling together the first Dublin Regional Session of EYP Ireland. Anna and ourselves go way back. Together we’ve travelled as far east as Istanbul, as far north as Estonia and as far west as… well Mayo; so we’ve seen Anna in all sorts of situations and we know she has this session sorted. But how has the organising experience been? We caught up with her for a quick ‘storbucks’ and a chat to find out. “When I first got the gig I was totes nervous, like I can barely organise my suitcase when travelling, let alone a session”. She praises her orga team who have been “true stunnahs” and were “always there when I needed them”. Even when things started to look bleak she knew they had her back - “the past few weeks have been tough” she says, “I haven’t been able to keep up with the new Made in Chelsea episodes, but at our first organiser meeting we made a pact never to spoil an episode - I think it really helped us bond as a team, and we all LOVE Spencer”.

I’m fine guys

The conversation soon turns to the venue for the session and Anna’s face lights up. “I always knew Alex could do it. Walking through those halls again, the halls that made me into the woman I am today, I could picture the session taking place here”. Amidst anecdotal tales of her secondary school life, we ask how does she think the session will go? “I’m nervous, obvs, but I think it should be fine; all I want is for the delegates to have fun. As long as I can sit back on the sunday and say ‘I’m fine’ - then I’ll be a happy girl”. Knowing Anna as we do, even if the session is ‘fine’ by her standards - we’ll all be in for a treat. Megan & David (Editors)


Compare EYP to MUN While the European Youth Parliament has some similarities with the Model United Nations, they kind of end after it’s established that they’re both political youth organisations. Some EYPers hold grudges and forever maintain that we have the ‘banter’ or the all important ‘craic factor’... I would tend to agree. However, if in some comparison with the unofficial sworn enemy of EYP it’s said that they are in any way superior to us... well then you’ve committed Cardinal Sin of EYP #1!

lems!”. It doesn’t, bad delegates! Leave the EU alone in your topic , it’s fine as it is... more or less. Concentrate on fixing the problem yourselves, don’t lay off the problem on a fictional group of professionals. Speak French at GA Outside of France Right, now some of you may not know this, but since English and French are the official languages of EYP it’s perfectly OK to speak the latter during GA, except that it isn’t, at all. In all seriousness though, you won’t be in trouble or anything, it’s just that many of the delegates will despise you. Since at the moment you’re in Ireland, the vast majority of us cannot speak French. Hence, your point will be almost completely misunderstood even if anyone does try to listen.

The Cardinal Sins of EYP

Create a Media Campaign in Your Resolution Essentially many of the problems in this world are attributed to the world’s population not really caring about the issue, or at least not caring enough. This is no different with many of the topics committees are presented with at sessions. The thought then is that creating a media campaign which involves: <insert list of media here>, will fix your problem. Incorrect. That being said I have seen resolutions where it was completely appropriate. But still be wary.

What NOT to do

Create a Brand-Spanking-New EU Body in Your Resolution Now this is rarely ever a good idea. Creating an EU organisation to tackle your problem is a big no-no. It’s a common proposal, “if we create this EU body and give it a swanky acronym that spells out a dirty word, it’ll solve all our prob-

Wear a hoodie to GA Do I really need to get into this? Like seriously guys come on. Every session there’s that delegate or two who don’t understand the meaning of ‘formal’. Suit up, gentlemen. Ladies, do that dress thing that you gals do best. For further fashion advice, see: Fashion Police articles during the weekend, or just take a look at yours truly. Try not to faint on-sight, it gets embarrassing. James K. Joy (IE)


Well hello über fashionable delegates, welcome to the wonderful and wacky world of EYP where you have the fantastic opportunity (among other things) to exhibit your finest corporate wear this weekend. I wait with anticipation as to what marvels (and atrocities) will be on show at this Regional Session. “OMG GOYS WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR THIS WEEKEND? LIKE I’VE NEVER HAD A JOB INTERVIEW IN MY LIOFE, HOW CAN I DRESS AS IF I WAS GOING TO ONE?!” Calm down, such a question has been pondered by so many first time delegates; firstly if you’ve come to teambuilding in something that’s comfy and looking mildly decent, you’ve done well. Tomorrow comes the first task, committee work. You will need a formal outfit that you can stay in all day and you’ll have to pack for what you’re going to wear to the disco later on. Don’t be that guy wearing what you wore all day to the disco; no matter how slick you think you look in your chinos and Tommy Hilfiger jumper. Ideal outfits? Well boys; what I have said above is a pretty doable one, chinos of some variation, a shirt (as flamboyant or as plain as you wish) and a jumper of some description (a hoodie does NOT fall under the category of jumper). Girls have slightly more scope and I’m

interested to see what this year’s Dublin girls bring to the table, we had stiff competition from the girls at the Munster’s Regional Session, with sheer blouses (cami tops underneath, keep it classy ladies) Jersey skirts, chunky necklaces, studded pumps, edgy but civilised. I would also be delighted to see some pants suits and of course I expect some of the ever present blazers. ‘Disco’ Outfit? Dress up fancy, however, you are not in Wezz. Legs out is grand, but legs, belly and low cut; what are you doing? No! General Assembly. Alright boys and girls, it’s time dust off the suits and dresses because it’s time for G.A. Boys, fair enough if you don’t have a suit jacket, the school one will do, just this once, but for the love of God sort yourself out with a normal tie (bonus points for funky ties). Girls, dress or skirt and tights (it is November) combo are always a good start, heels, perhaps if you’re feeling it. You will (hopefully) be walking up to a podium so remember this before you trip and send yourself flying in front of a hundred odd people. That’s all from me, best of luck and I hope you’ll have some great fashion (along with many other) adventures this weekend.  PS. You’ll find me in the yellow tweed ;) Caoimhe O’Rourke (IE) 


The Possibly Fictive Diary Of A Traveler If you want to become a true EYPer and attend sessions from Ireland to Istanbul, you will have to travel a lot. Whether it be by plane or by train, it’s rarely as simple as it seems, proven by the following tale of one heck of a journey; the journey of a brave traveler who needed to get from Amsterdam to Croatia. 25th of July, 2013

echoed around the carriage every 5 minutes. That automotive voice was pure psychological torture. It was as if we were being held captive for some kind of sadistic, social experiment; one which involved jamming a metal tube full of strangers in high summer, just to see who would last the longest. After an hour without any news, one of the crew members decided to have pity on us, and distributed bottles of water among the passengers.

I stood in the main hall of the Amsterdam train station, waiting for the 10:30 train to Upon my arrival in Paris, it suddenly dawned Paris. I had packed for 2 days, which was on me that the Ryanair airfield of ‘Paris’ how long it would take was actually 87 kilomme to reach my summer I fell asleep, broken and eters outside of the city. home in Croatia. The tired, within the shadow I decided to get a hotel travel plan was plain and for the night, as it would simple; train to Paris, of France’s most famous be impossible for me to then a plane to Milan. national monument. make my flight. I jammed Hop onto the night bus to myself and my case onto Zagreb and from there take the ferry to our one of the crowded Parisian subway wagsummer home which was on the island of ons. When I was halfway to my destination Dugi Otok. I suddenly felt a pull and moments later, I saw someone running with my suitcase. I On the train to Paris I was forced to sit next tried to chase after him, but the doors had to one of those sweaty old men, the stereo- already closed. Despair. typical curse of every train journey. To make things worse, it was almost 35° C outside, Gone were my ID, money and clothes. I and the climate control in the train was bro- was alone in a city I did not know, with a ken. It was going to be a long and excruciat- language I did not speak. I had no option ing voyage. other than to go and sleep under a bridge for the night. I fell asleep, broken and tired, As we were riding past the flat, scenic Dutch within the shadow of France’s most famous countryside the train came to a shuddering national monument. stop. For a very long time we were unaware about the reason for our delay; all we knew To be continued... is what the voice on the intercom told us. “We are having some technical issues, we Yannick Léonard (BE) will try to resolve them as fast as possible”


The beauty of sleep deprivation I used to hate coffee. I hated everything about it; the bitterness, the watery texture and its depressing colour - black like the soul of whoever decided that the concept of “monday” was a good idea. However, despite this intense dislike for the foul liquid, I still found myself guzzling cold coffee out of a wineglass at 3AM in the morning during my first Regional Session. Why? Well, the answer is simple; I had discovered what every other EYPer has, or will, discover. Coffee is in fact the loveliest, most necessary and most trustworthy substance out there. If a friend in need, is a friend indeed, then coffee is truly the dearest of friends. This is of course because the one thing you will never hear an EYPer say, ever, is that they got a good, long night’s sleep. It just isn’t done. One does not simply feel well rested at a session. I would even go as far as to say that those who manage more than 3 hours of sleep must possess some form of superpower. Obviously they have some profound skill the rest of us mere mortals lack. This anti-sleep culture has had some interesting consequences. Firstly, the EYP organisation is an incredibly important actor in the low-quality coffee market worldwide. Secondly, most EYPers have developed the ability to sleep in any position, anywhere and at any time - there is something remarkably eerie about seeing someone in a suit sleeping while

standing up. Thirdly, EYPers are often very emotionally volatile, simply humming Imagine or Big Fat Pony towards the end of a session can set off extreme emotional outbursts. Then there are the other consequences, the less immediately observable ones. Aside from various health risks (#YOLO), lack of sleep can seriously affect your body and mind. Too few ZzZ’s can make you clumsy, hungry and can make even the easiest decisions, like what colour post-it to use during GA, very difficult. Essentially, the symptoms of sleep deprivation are very similar to those of alcohol consumption. But there lies the beauty of EYP I suppose. Seeing a mass of seemingly drunk, emotional, coffee chugging individuals gather and skilfully tackle European issues is quite inspirational. So during this session, and any future sessions you attend, I encourage you to proudly stumble around, yawning and bleary eyed, knowing that you are taking part of something wonderful. Sarah Ek (SE)


Welcome. Come in. Sit down; listen carefully. It’s about to begin. Now for some of you this may be your first EYP experience extravaganza, for others it’s a second year of madness and debauchery. One thing you all have in common, however, is that on Sunday you shall all be pitted against each other in a political hunger games, a veritable bureaucratic Battle Royale. That’s right, maybe you thought you were coming here to make friends and have a great time, but that’s only the result of brutally slaughtering all of your other opponent committees in G.A (Intellectually you psychopaths!) A brave, hardy chair once said to me to ‘leave no survivors’. Heed this wisdom. Look into the eyes of your chairs, the orgas and the journos. While some may maintain a jovial spirit and a quirky nature, underneath they

have the eyes of hardened battle veterans; they do what it takes to survive. Little Sleep? No food? Endless debates? You’re a long way from Kansas now deary. It starts right away on Friday evening with team building, bond closely with your teammates; they are all that stand between you and the cold dark abyss of oblivion. Hone your skills in committee work; figuring out your plan of attack. Who shall come out guns blazing we all wonder? Will it be the ruthless LIBE(s) with their extremely opinionated attitudes to everything? Maybe SPACE will open the airlocks and suffocate everybody, or sweet innocent ENVI will call upon the woodland animals to help them rid the land of rival committees. You may be reading this and thinking about your loved ones… Well they can’t help you anymore! But fear not, things aren’t as bad as they seem, there

are upsides to being in a political hunger games; Jennifer Lawrence for instance. Jennifer Lawrence is what makes the political skirmish all worthwhile my friends. That is why the Saturday evening Disco is so important! Find your Jennifer Lawrence at this event and understand the true purpose of EYP; finding friends, fellow survivors. Find the Peeta to your Katniss. If you can hold out, muster up the mental fortitude to battle through this weekend of little sleep, heart stopping quantities of coffee and more pop culture references than an episode of the Gilmore girls, then you’ll be stronger for it. Then you have my permission to have a good time. May the odds be ever in your favour. Cian Rynne (IE)


Fill in your EYP story This is just an ordinary story to fill in whenever you feel bored or simply because it’s swell. Team up with your mate, one reads the words between brackets out loud, the other answers them. Bang, your unique story is written! That easy! It is__(sixth figure of your phone number) o’ clock in the morning when the alarm abruptly interrupts that_____(adjective) dream about you finally making out with_____(your mum’s favourite singer). _____(part of the face) still sleepy but with loads of effort you eventually manage to slowly remove the blanket made out of______(animal) hair and get out of your_____ (piece of furniture). While munching on your_____(kind of food you hate the most) you take the first_____( means of transportation) straight to Dublin! Arriving at the venue, you hear everyone_____(animal sound) out of excitement. Your heart _____(action made during sport events). This is it: your first session of the European Youth Parliament. Someone taps you on the_____(body part). ‘Are you_____(name of the one filling this in)? You’re late! Your committee has already started Team Building!’ Feeling like a complete_____(synonym for loser) you rush to your fellow delegates and participate in a round of _____(silly children’s game) your new friends are playing. It has been an exhausting day of TB but happy and pleased with your committee members, you decide to have a refreshing glass of water during the Committee Games. Maybe the hottie from ENVI will be there.... After already far too many_____(thing to put stuff in) of_____(liquid) it is time for bed. You need all your energy for Committee Work tomorrow! You turn up_____(year of birth) minutes early to not having to undergo the embarrassment of yesterday twice. Let’s put those______(age multiplied with ten)______(thing made out of paper) of research to good use! You immediately astonish everyone with your own opinion, fresh ideas and possible solutions. After you took the last ______ (flavour) cookie during Coffee Break, you put the last_____limb) to the resolution and prepare your speech thoroughly for the big day tomorrow. But as for tonight: let the party begin and tash on! You have turned your whole wardrobe upside down when at last you find the perfect_____(traditional clothing) to wear at the Dishco. Still wrecked from last night you find yourself seated_____(feeling) in the General Assembly. Reading out the resolution, defense speech, attack speech, open debate, closing speech, voting procedure, clapping is in order: the resolution has passed! ______ (exclamation)! After having given out the last goodbyes, kissed the_____(adjective starting with t) lad/ lass from before in a way he/she will never forget, you burst into tears of____(feeling) cause PED (Post EYP Depression) is around the corner determined to make his move. This was it: a memorable, incredible and marvelous EYP session which you will treasure for the rest of your life! Ann-Sophie Vandommele (BE)


A move too far? Your guide to meeting people in EYP You’re all thinking it. You all want it. Those that say they don’t are lying and you know it’s worth the stress. No, it’s not the much hyped EYP National Session, but the meet at EYP. Within this article, you’ll find a detailed, comprehensive and infallible guide to wooing the opposite Gender with humour, intellect and impeccable fashion, courtesy of the Journos, who have your best interests at heart. So first, let’s start with a brief overview of what to wear. Chinos are a must. It’s a scientific fact that no girl can resist a good pair of the khakis on a decent lad. This staple of the south Dublin gentry comes in all shapes and sizes, so be sure to adorn yourself with a pair, before going on the pull. As for the upper half, the mantra here is the tighter the better, as all girls love seeing the outline of your chest. Here are your following three options: • Any tight, spandex like T-shirt from Hollister or Abercrombie & Fitch. • A rugby shirt, preferably from your school, (to woo women with tales of the perfect try) will do, provided it ac-

centuates muscles. • A personal favourite of mine, is the the shirt top, (again as tight as possible) buttoned down to below the chest. A good rule of thumb is to have more cleavage than the girl you’re approaching. So now you’ve got the appropriate attire, it’s time to go out and find yourself a “moth”. The flowing five step guide will work in any situation and on any fine bird in EYP. Step 1: Make eye contact from a distance. Salivate while staring and nod approvingly. Step 2: Flex all the muscles in your body, while complimenting yourself, try and get your committee members to applaud your honed physique. Remember, the more veins, the more babes.


If you’re big and furry; “I forgot my teddy bear at home. Will you sleep with me?” For when you can’t keep your eyes above waist level, retort their allegations of creepiness with this gem; “Is that a mirror in your pocket,’cause I can definitely see myself in your pants” The other language of GA, is also the language of love: “Il fait chaud ici, ou est-ce que vous?” (Is it hot in here, or is it just you) To impress committee members, look no further than this enlightening one-liner “I’m not actually this tall, I’m just sitting on my research.” Step 3: Strut confidently towards your target, lead with your shoulders swaying heavily from side to side. Push people out of the way to exert your dominance over lesser beings. Step 4: If she is in a group, push her friends/ chair/boyfriend away, then grin arrogantly. Step 5: This is the crucial step, laid out before you are chat up lines, that have been proven to work. 60% of the time, they work, all the time. Repeat these lines in any order or combination till she’s weak-kneed and longing for the shift. (Or wants you to go away.) For those chemistry babes, this is a sure success; “Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you are BE AU TI… FULL”

When a target approaches in your vicinity, yell: “ I’d pass that motion!” Afterwords, look for a high five. You’ll get one. Remember, persistence is key here. It’s a race, not a sprint. It’s Everest, not the sugar loaf. It’s getting the shift in EYP. Jack Sargent (IE)


Welcome to the Games

8.Spell out your committee name with committee members

It’s really rather simple. Outlined below are tasks to be accomplished. Completion of a task earns your committee points. A scoreboard shall be kept running throughout the Session. The committee with the highest points tally at the end of the session wins.

May the odds be ever in your favour.

Note. All tasks need to be witnessed by a Journo (not a chair) or must have photographic proof for points to be awarded. “Committee” means ALL delegates must be involved for it to count.

11.Come up with a committee chant and sing it in GA

1.Delegate high fives the president

1 pt per delegate.

2.Committee Photo with the HO

10 pts.

3.Committee Photo in another committee’s room

15 pts.

4.Committee Photo with the two editors (Have to find the editors, together, away from the press room)

30 pts

5.Find someone smaller than Emma (Orga) or Shiofra (Chair)

10 pts

9.Best Costume at the disco

20 pts

10.Perform in a video for Alex 20 pts

10 pts

12.Give Megan sweets

20 pts

13.Talk to David about film scores

20 pts

14.Mistake a Swiss for a Swede (or viceversa)

Minus 10 pts

15.Mention MUN in the presence of an official

Minus 10 pts

16.Have the best dressed Committee in GA (as decided by the Fashion Police)

30 pts

10pts

17.Beat a journo at a game they started

6.Record a video of the Committee performing as an air band

5 pts.

7.Use the words “Avada Kedavra” in GA

15pts

10 pts

18.Be the best dancer at the disco (as decided by the Journos)

15 pts.


DublinMedia2013 Are you a snapper? and a chatter? See a sleeping delegate? A funny game? Send us your snapchats and the best ones make it in the paper!


Welcome Issue | Dublin Regional Session 2013