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Dragnet Magazine

Why I Am Different from Margaret Atwood and What I Don’t Gain from Humping Duvets by Erica Schmidt

I

have nothing to show for

would not open a bottle of screw-top wine

my evenings humping duvets.

and roll up her lime-green turquoise-

Surely Margaret Atwood never

daisied duvet and hump it profusely, so

spends her evenings humping

that she wouldn’t be horny for her date

duvets. When such evenings occur, the

with a man she has no desire of sleeping

nervous-void, anxious-boredom evenings,

with. She does not go on dates with men

Margaret Atwood gathers her creativity

she doesn’t want to sleep with. She does

together and amalgamates familiar objects

not live on streets where they forget to

and universally deep occurrences in order

pick up the recycling.

to arrive at stunning and poignant similes.

I get up from my time with my lime-

Her similes become poems. Her poems

green turquoise-daisied duvet. I decide

are recited at shrines. Margaret Atwood

that I am about as aroused as possible

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Dragnet Magazine Issue One