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DAN'S PAPERS, September 25, 2009 Page 40 www.danshamptons.com

How to Plan for the Second Time Around

in Wainscott. “It’s extremely important to give roles to the children of the couple, so they feel included,” Strauss said. “But there’s a caveat-you must ask them first about what kind of roles they want to play in the wedding.” Both Paladino and Strauss say the trend among second-time couples in the Hamptons, is to have a one-day event, often with the wedding and the reception taking place in the same location-a restaurant, a church or perhaps the couple’s home. The bride either walks down the aisle alone, or with a relative or close friend. The trend is that the bride’s father, who may be elderly, does not walk the bride down the aisle. Second weddings are often conducted by a justice of the peace, although church weddings are not uncommon. The couples also tend to choose a very limited number of attendants (bridesmaids, matrons of

honor and groomsmen) or none at all. “Everything is relaxed, unlike first weddings,” said Strauss. Relaxed is also the operating word when it comes to the bride and groom’s clothes. The bride’s dress, which is generally street or calf length is usually a champagne, platinum or pewter color, according to Paladino. And the groom usually wears a suit. Second-time couples generally do not toss the garter or the bouquet, but it is considered perfectly respectable to do that, according to www.idotaketwo.com, a Web site devoted to the do’s and don’ts of second weddings. The site also suggests that the bride may choose to wear white, which is considered a symbol of joy, not purity. The big DON’T, according to the site? Don’t use your first engagement ring in your second wedding. “Once you begin planning and announcing the news, all signs of former loves should disappear,” the site says. Other faux pas include: duplicating your first wedding, marrying in the same location or wearing the same dress as your first wedding. The site says that couples can expect to receive gifts from some people, but generally second-time couples request no gifts or suggest that guests donate to a favorite charity. A private wedding shower is perfectly appropriate as long as it is limited to wedding guests, according to the site. Despite the trends in the Hamptons towards smaller, more intimate weddings for second-timers, idotaketwo.com suggests that, with some exceptions, a full-blown wedding is perfectly acceptable. “In truth, celebrations can be as elaborate or as intimate as we desire, without fearing social stigma,” the site says.

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By Katy Gurley “Love is lovelier the second time around Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground It’s that second time you hear your love song sung Makes you think, perhaps, that love like yours Is wasted on the young……” —From “The Second Time Around,” words by Sammy Cahn and Music by Jimmy Van Heusen So, you’re getting married for the second time. Can you do it up like you did with your first wedding-a long white dress, a guest list of 200, a big cake, several attendants, rice, the garter, throwing the bouquet, the whole bit? Yes…and no, local wedding experts say. Some people do go in for a repeat of the whole wedding thing. But the experts say the trend among second-wedding couples is to scale it way down. “People getting married again kind of want to do away with all the hoopla. They’re looking for something more subdued, more intimate with fewer guests, limiting it to close friends and family members-paring it down from 200 the first time to around to 50 or 70 guests at a second wedding,” says Maria Paladino, owner of Paladin Events of Manorville. “Couples are focusing more on each other and their commitment to each other, rather than worrying so much about the look of everything. It’s less to please others and more about something that encompasses their personalities,” she said. Often at second weddings, there are children or adult children involved, and that’s one of the most important considerations a couple should take into account when planning their second wedding, said Corinne Strauss, owner of Hampton Wedding, based

Dan's Papers Sept. 25, 2009  

Dan's Papers, the 51-year-old bible of the Hamptons, is owned by Manhattan Media, a multi-media publishing company based in New York City,...

Dan's Papers Sept. 25, 2009  

Dan's Papers, the 51-year-old bible of the Hamptons, is owned by Manhattan Media, a multi-media publishing company based in New York City,...

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