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Sexy (Continued from page 49) about anything. This process is called—and I’m not making this up—“galumphing,� and is not unlike how some of us moved when we were in high school. And like some of us when we were 16 or 17, the seals can cover ground fast by galumphing. Seals can’t bark, as sea lions famously do, but communicate by slapping the water’s surface and grunting, like some of our summer folks. These creatures are not only more graceful underwater than ballet dancers and jet fighter planes, but they can dive very deep—more than 130 feet—stay underwater for very long times—as much as one hour—and rise to the surface as fast a NASA rocket, without getting the bends. (Human scuba divers need to come to surface with measured slowness after having

been at depths more than 33 feet. Failure to do so causes “bends,� a forming of gas bubbles in the circulatory system that can cause pain, paralysis and even death.) The seals pump air at high pressure into their lungs and respiratory passages when diving, and so pressurize them—hence no bends. In a similar process, they force air at high pressure into their middle ears to pressurize them and prevent the painful eardrums that can afflict humans in a scuba dive, and the “ear-popping� sensation humans have when descending into even the shallow water of a swimming pool. Yet as hardy as these creatures are, they won’t haul themselves onto rocks “to catch some rays� if the wind chill gets too bad, i.e., way below zero F., sensibly choosing to remain in


Lauren (Continued from previous page)





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The Miami store is slated to open the following winter. Just this past Memorial Day weekend, she hosted a charity spin ride at Flywheel spin studio to benefit the Monmouth County Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, a New Jersey shelter where she got her own dog, Jersey. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I got a collie-lab mutt that is black, fuzzy and cute,â&#x20AC;? said Lauren in an interview with Danâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prior to the event. â&#x20AC;&#x153;She is from Puerto Rico. We named her Jersey because thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s where the MCSPCA is located, and also because she is very fashionable. I bring her to work sometimes, and everybody just loves her. People are totally shocked when they learn that she is a shelter dog.â&#x20AC;? Dylan is a constant presence at Flywheel, and she worked closely with fellow animal-lover Ruth Zuckerman of Flywheel Sports to organize the East Hampton event and raise money for the MCSPCA. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Most of my customers at Dylanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Candy Bar also love to spin. Basically, where the candy comes in is that I had been talking to Flywheel that everyone should exercise, but also eat candy in moderation, and when we decided that we wanted to do a charity ride, we joined forces.â&#x20AC;? True to her word, Lauren had plenty of 100 calorie chocolate bars on hand to encourage spinners to enjoy their candy without fearing the consequences.

Enter the

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the relatively temperate sea water. In fact, when one appreciates how well adapted and sensible seals are, it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t surprising that evolutionary evidence shows that they have been around for 15 million years, despite being preyed on by sharks all that time, and in more recent times by humans. Now one last word. If any of you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t shake off the bias of speciesism, and still want to stare at the human denizens of our summer beach scene, you can do both! The seals are too sensible to be jealous. However, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t say the same for their human counterparts, so donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell them of your winter trysts. Let them remain blissfully ignorant in their up-west winter homesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;after all, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all sophisticated adults, right?

Dan's Papers June 22, 2012  

Dan's Papers June 22, 2012 Issue

Dan's Papers June 22, 2012  

Dan's Papers June 22, 2012 Issue