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WAINSCOTT 328 Montauk Hwy. (Just E. of East Hampton Bowling) 631-329-0786 SOUTHAMPTON 58-60 Hampton Road (Near Aboff’s) 631-204-9371 SOUTHAMPTON 850 North Hwy/Country Rd 39 (Opp True Value Hardware) 631-283-2470 HAMPTON BAYS 30 Montauk Highway (Hampton Bays Town Center) 631-723-1404 BRIDGEHAMPTON 2099 Montauk Hwy (Opposite Bridgehampton Commons) 631-537-8147 RIVERHEAD 1180 Old Country Rd. Rte 58 (Near Target Center) 631-727-7058 RIVERHEAD 1440 Old Country Rd. (Near Best Buy) 631-369-4297 RIVERHEAD OUTLET 1199 Rte 58 (Corner of Harrison Ave., Opp.Taco Bell) 631-727-6250� �Clearance Merchandise Avail.
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NATIONWIDE DELIVERY Hours: Mon thru Sat 10am to 9pm, Sun 11am to 7pm ©2012 SINT, LLC.
Valid on purchases of $600 min/12 mos (terms may vary, see store for details), $2400 min/24 mos, $3600 min/36 mos, $4800 min/48 mos made between 5/18/12 and 5/19/12 on Sleepy’s credit card account. Equal monthly payments required throughout promo period. No interest will be assessed if all min. monthly payments on account, including debt cancellation, are paid when due. If account goes 60 days past due, promo may be terminated early and standard account terms will apply. As of 4-18-12, Purchase APR 29.99%; Penalty APR 29.99%. Existing cardholders refer to your current credit agreement for rates and terms. Min. interest $2. Subject to credit approval.
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May 18, 2012 Page 5
M a n h a t t a n | B r o o k ly n | Q u e e n s | l o n g I s l a n d | t h e h a M p t o n s | t h e n o r t h F o r k | r I v e r d a l e | W e s t c h e s t e r / p u t n a M | F l o r I d a
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 | 11am-1Pm 24 North Bay Lane, East Hampton $5,500,000 | Upon entering this gated compound you will truly understand the meaning of pristine elegance and privacy. Web# H12335. Kenneth Meyer 631.329.9400
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 | 12:30-2:30Pm 3 Wood Edge Ct, Water Mill | $2,250,000 Elegant, 4-bedroom, 4-bath home with grand foyer, gourmet kitchen, formal dining room and heated pool. Web# H0154624. Raphael Avigdor 631.204.2740
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 | 12-1:30Pm 9 Montauk Avenue Ext., Sag Harbor $1,699,000 | 5 bedrooms 4.5 baths, chef’s kitchen, full breakfast area. Heated Gunite pool. Web# H43518. Patrick McLaughlin 631.725.0200
89 Spring Close Hwy., East Hampton $1,395,000 | Close to the town of East Hampton and close to the beaches. Fabulous 3,000 sf open and airy Traditional. Web# H18927. Lili Elsis 631.267.7305
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 | 10am-12Pm 507 Seven Ponds Towd Rd., Water Mill $995,000 | Classic 2-story on an acre plus with 5 bedrooms, 4 baths, chef’s kitchen, dining room and living room. Web# H0154057. Raphael Avigdor 631.204.2740
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 | 12-1:30Pm 76 Underwood Drive, East Hampton $650,000 | New home in Clearwater Beach, a private bay beach community features 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, and a heated pool. Web# H52297. Jordan Daniel 631.267.7307
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 | 12-1:30Pm 50 Cedar Drive, East Hampton | $649,000 Traditional, situated on a quiet street close to bay and marina, features 4 bedrooms. 3 baths and pool. Web# H13386. Robin Kaplan 631.267.7384
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 & SUN. 5/20 |12-2:30Pm 96 Lake Drive, Southampton | $549,000 Renovated 3-bedroom, 1.5-bath home with bay views in waterfront community. Sunken living room with fireplace, kitchen/dining area, and granite kitchen. Room for pool and expansion. Web# H23308. Diane West 725.0200
For guIdance and InsIght on all thIngs real estate, put the poWer oF ellIMan to Work For you. askellIMan.coM
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 | 12-2Pm 144 W. Tiana Road, Hampton Bays $439,000 | Completely renovated 3-bedroom, 1.5-bath home with room for pool. Great location, great deal. Web# H78891. Constance Porto 631.723.4324
mOdERN maStERPIECE Bridgehampton | $2,498,999 | Double master bedroom, 4 bedrooms and 4 baths. Custom kitchen and baths. Beautiful Gunite pool/spa. Adjacent gorgeous 1.5 acre lot available to purchaser of house. Buy both for $4.5M. Web# H10170. Mosel Katzter 631.537.4203
VIllagE BEd & BREakfaSt 7 Beach Lane, Westhampton Beach $1,900,000 | The Grassmere Inn includes 2 buildings on one parcel of property and less than one mile to ocean beach. Web# H35853. Adriana Jurcev 631.723.4125
PRIVaCY ON 1.2 aCRES East Hampton | $995,000 | This 3-bedroom, 3-bath Postmodern boasts a free-flowing, open floor plan. Web# H19948. Brian Buckhout 631.267.7346
HamPtONS ClaSSIC East Hampton | $699,000 | Colonial on .91acre with 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, office, dining room, eat-in kitchen, large back deck, finished basement and heated salt water pool. Web# H30006. Kristin Kinney | Linda Mallinson 631.668.6565
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 | 12-1Pm 312 Bridgehampton Sag Harbor Tpke, Bridgehampton | $599,000 | Newly renovated cottage on a shy acre with room for expansion and pool. New kitchen, living room, dining room, 2 bedrooms and 1.5 baths. Web# H54993. Cynthia Barrett 631.537.6069
OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/19 | 1-3 Pm 24 The Trail, Hampton Bays | $399,000 Bright and airy floor plan. Main living area leads to outside decking. Fireplace, outdoor shower, 20x40 pool. Web# H13226. Bryan Whalen 631.723.4329
OPEN HOUSE SUN. 5/20 | 12-1:30 Pm 36 Washington Heights Ave. South Hampton Bays | $279,000 | Great home on cul-de-sac. Updated kitchen and baths, top-of-the-line heating system. Web# H10153. Constance Porto 631.723.4324
askellIMan.coM © 2012 BRER Affiliates Inc. an independently owned and operated broker member of BRER Affiliates Inc. Prudential, the Prudential logo and the Rock symbol are registered service marks of Prudential Financial, Inc. and its related entities, registered in many jurisdictions worldwide. Used under license with no other affiliation with Prudential. Equal Housing Opportunity. All material presented herein is intended for information purposes only. While, this information is believed to be correct, it is represented subject to errors, omissions, changes or withdrawal without notice. All property information, including, but not limited to square footage, room count, number of bedrooms and the school district in property listings are deemed reliable, but should be verified by your own attorney, architect or zoning expert.
Page 6 May 18, 2012
Doug Matz Owner AC Super Tune Up is $79 + Tax Exp 5/15/12 Non-Maintenance Customers Only Includes up to 1 hour for the tune up, additional cost if more time is needed
OFF Premiere Ductless system
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Pre Season AC Special expires 6/15/12 & cannot be combined with any other offers or previous purchases This AD musT be presenTeD AT Time of Tune up of sysTem esTimATe
© 2001 AT500Tm
mac landscape & creative design
May 18, 2012 Page 7
the beauty of the hamptons starts in your own yard.
Weâ€™re natives of the East End, designing, constructing and maintaining beautiful landscapes for over 30 years. Let our professional staff including Arborists and Horticulturists consult with you to design a landscape plan and maintenance program tailored to your needs and goals. Our mission is to gain your trust in the respect and care we provide to your property while you enjoy your beautiful and healthy surroundings.
complete groundskeeping services
lawn care programs plant & tree health care pest control programs organic offered
leyland cypress / cryptomeria / norway & colorado spruce white pine / boxwood / kousa dogwood / heritage birch / crape myrtle
come visit us at our location: 125 Snake Hollow Road/Bridgehampton, NY On the premises of Agway Country Gardens.
a full service landscape and tree company design / construction / maintenance
Page 8 May 18, 2012
VOLUME XLVII NUMBER 10
This issue is dedicated to Bob Edelman
MAY 18, 2012
25 For Conscience Sake
29 Big Fish
29 Fast Food
by Dan Rattiner A search for the first words uttered by the first settler landing at Conscience Point, Southampton in 1640. This person, a woman, waded ashore from a small boat and said “For conscience sake, we are on dry land again.” The world wants to know.
by Dan Rattiner Another world rod and reel fishing record for Montauk. A fisherman from Bay Shore, after quite a fight, brings in his catch to Montauk Fishing Village. The crowds cheer as the fish is hauled up by the crane. Is this on the up and up? Only a careful reading of this story will lead you to the answer to that.
by Dan Rattiner A dizzying trip through the mind of the author about hot fudge sundaes, visits to the doctor, fast food laws in East Hampton that aren’t, the new offices of Dan’s Papers and his mother. It’s possible he will be telling you more than you care to know.
20 South O’ the Highway
37 The Montauk Monster
All the latest Hamptons celebrity news.
by Kate Maier Who would destroy such a beloved piece of public art?
21 Hamptons Subway by Dan Rattiner
22 Police Blotter
by Judy S. Klinghoffer and Kelly Laffey Grammy Award-winning singer/ songwriter
33 The Andy Warhole Gallery by Mr. Sneiv The selling of a painting sparks the entrepreneurial sprit of an author who wants more than the few pennies he now makes writing stories such as this. (Wait. He submits these.)
39 Suzanne Vega
by David Lion Rattiner All the news that’s not fit to print on the East End. Featuring Shelter Island.
28 Literary Prize
23 PAGE 27
by Nicole Stanek Be a winner.
Your route to where the beautiful people play.
31 The Rowers by Dan Koontz What will be the fate of Sag Harbor Community Rowing?
31 Poxabogue Golf by Dan Rattiner Sailing into the waiting arms of Southampton Town.
35 Smart Crosswalks by Nanci E. LaGarrenne Beep, Flash, Flash, Flash, Zoom
41 Seen: Billy Joel
42 Seen in my Salad Bowl
by David Lion Rattiner Billy Joel and motorcycle.
by Stacy Dermont A story from a self-proclaimed farmers market groupie. Honoring the Artist
44 John Chierchio by Marion W. Weiss
52 News Briefs Dan’s weekly update from around the East End
12037 Dans Papers Ad v9_12037 Dans Papers Ad 3/26/12 3:35 PM Page 1
May 18, 2012 Page 9
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Page 10 May 18, 2012
FEATURES CONT’ D sheltered islander
48 Crucial tips
N orth fork
H ouse & hom e
over the barrel
east end nest
shop ‘til you drop
53 Old World Charm
60 Outdoor Furniture
59 Hot Hamptons Buys
by Chenoa Van Sickle Things you’re not told before becoming a mother...
By Maria Tennariello Weekly East End shopping picks and new businesses
62 Calendar 62 Letters to the Editor By Lenn Thompson Exploring Sherwood House Vineyards
54 North Fork Events
By Tamara Matthews-Stephenson Give your outdoor space a fresh perspective view from the garden
50 Hot Rides
61 Lawn Care
by Robert Gelber These cars aren’t for everyone...
65 Kids’ Events
10 minute golf
By Jeanelle Myers Tips for keeping your lawn healthy
51 Unwanted Company by Darren Demaille Tips for avoiding ticks on the golf course.
A r t s & E n t e r ta i n m ent
food & dinin g
55 Guild Hall
66 Restaurant Review: Stonewalls
87 The Sandcastle
By Anne N. Turner Preview of the performances at the John Drew Theater
by Kelly Laffey Classic French and American fare at the Woods at Cherry Creek Golf Club
56 Southampton Cultural
Center’s “Contemporary Narrative”
By Marion W. Weiss Storytelling remains crucial in the arts by the book
57 Thomas Jefferson, Rachel and Me By Joan Baum Peter Boody’s debut novel brings Thomas Jefferson to life in the 21st century
57 Movie Times
Catch the midnight showing of Men in Black III.
58 Art Events
simple art of cooking
67 Fresno’s Faves
by Silvia Lehrer Fresno’s executive chef shares recipes for Jalepeno Mango Vinaigrette and Warm Valrhona Chocolate Cake. Side dish
68 Restaurant Specials
by Kelly Krieger Joe Farrell’s home is the stuff of legend.
88 Everything Over A Million Check out this week’s hottest Hamptons real estate sales.
83 Classifieds 71 Service Directory 9 Luxury Liner
by Aji Jones dinnig out
70 A Guide to Local Flavors
158 County Road 39 • Southampton, NY 11968 • 631-537-0500 • Classified Phone 631-537-4900 • Classified Fax 631-287-0428 Dan’s Paper was founded in 1960 by Dan Rattiner and is the first free resort newspaper in America.
May 18, 2012 Page 11
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Page 12 May 18, 2012
If you don’t start here, then you’re not really
starting where you’re supposed to start.
5 holidays you didn’t know about 5.
What did the first settler say upon setting foot in Southampton in 1640? See Page 25
How do you steal a bump off a log? See Page 37
a) This place looks exactly like Southampton, England. b) Forsooth, Yorick, I knew him well. c) May the Force Be With You. d) May the odds be ever in your favor e) Where are the celebrities? f) I think we are here, don’t you?
May 24 National Escargot Day May 25 Tap Dance Day May 27 Sun Screen Day May 29 Learn About Composting Day May 30 Water a Flower Day
SPREADING AROUND CHOPPERS 2.
What kind of ships are coming to Greenport next weekend?
a) Tall ships b) Tattooed ships c) Starships d) All of the Above 3.
See Page 45
When does a Sandcastle have 12 bathrooms?
A group of New York helicopter pilots employed by helicopter companies offered up a plan Friday to disperse their flight routes from Manhattan to the Hamptons so they fan out over a wide variety of routes over both land and water. This way every town gets to have helicopter noise, and it’s more democratic. Some get more, some get less. A representative of North Hempstead says as far as North Hempstead was concerned, he’d support that. The pilots also said the government’s plan to have them only fly over water, already proposed, was not practical because these routes over water would soon get too crowded. Leaves us scratching our heads. It’s a big ocean, n’est pas? Problem with fish covering their ears? The proposal -- DR was rejected by the Feds.
*See Page 29
in defense of
See Page 29
How many of Poxabogue’s nine holes are full length and how many are pitch and putt?
They come to Montauk The surfers surfing The seafood eaters dining The Hamptonites partying The writers writing The artists painting The golfers putting The tennis players serving The fishermen casting The sharks circling The radar tower staring out blankly The End.
Go on a diet, lose weight, celebrate, go to Burger King, Pat Your Belly, Gain Weight Make a Vow, Keep a Vow, Never Again.
See Page 87
All full length Some full length All pitch and putt Depends what you mean by pitch and putt One of the holes is 107 yards. Which is that? Why are you bothering me with this? Go out and play a round. Who cares?
May 18, 2012 Page 13
Page 14 May 18, 2012
www.swimking.com Have an old pool and would like to update it? Add stairs? New liner? Waterfall? Call us.
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ROCKY POINT (631) 744-8100 SOUTHAMPTON (631) 283-8883 7 DAYS A WEEK 9AM- 5PM
May 18, 2012 Page 15
It’s trust. It’s a familiar face. It’s a vet who treats you and your pet like family. That’s the comfort of the Animal Hospitals at Bideawee. State-of-the-art facilities and highly trained veterinarians are part of the services and support we bring to help pets and the people who love them build lasting relationships. Get to know our animal hospitals, and all we offer at bideawee.o rg o r cal l 1. 866.262. 813 3.
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Page 16 May 18, 2012
CEO & Publisher: Bob Edelman firstname.lastname@example.org
Fill your spring with plenty of ooohs and ahhhhhs.
President and Editor-in-Chief: Dan Rattiner email@example.com Digital Director Eric Feil, firstname.lastname@example.org Senior Editor Stacy Dermont, email@example.com Web Editor David Lion Rattiner, firstname.lastname@example.org
Sections Editor Kelly Laffey, email@example.com Associate Editor Maria Tennariello, firstname.lastname@example.org Display & Web Sales Executives (631) 537-0500 Catherine Ellams, Denise Bornschein, Jean Lynch, Patti Kraft, Tom W. Ratcliffe III Inside/Digitalâ€ˆSales Manager Lori Berger, email@example.com Inside Sales Executives (631) 537-4900 Kathy Camarata, Steve Daniel, Richard Scalera
A Lennox home comfort system can make your home feel as comfortable and fresh as a bright spring day all year long, while still delivering the highest efďŹ ciency in the business. And that is a beautiful thing indeed. ÂŽ
Art Director Ty Wenzel, firstname.lastname@example.org Production Manager Genevieve Horsburgh, email@example.com Graphic Design Nadine Cruz, firstname.lastname@example.org Flora Cannon, email@example.com Web Production Manager Chris Gardner, firstname.lastname@example.org Business Manager Susan Weber, email@example.com
Distribution Coordinator Dave Caldwell, firstname.lastname@example.org
Associate Publisher Kathy Rae, email@example.com
Marketing & Event Manager Ellen Dioguardi, firstname.lastname@example.org
Sales Coordinator Evy Ramunno, email@example.com
0+ 5Ĺ?* Ĺ?#!0Ĺ?Ĺ?
Marketing Coordinator Lisa Barone, Lisa@danspapers.com
Ĺ? * ++.Ĺ?%.Ĺ? 1(%05Ĺ?!/0ÄľÄľĹ?
Contributing Writers And Editors Joan Baum, Patrick Christiano,â€ˆT.J.â€ˆClemente, Sally Flynn, Bob Gelber, Barry Gordin, Katy Gurley, Steve Haweeli, Laura Klahre, Silvia Lehrer, Sharon McKee, Jeanelle Myers, Maria Orlando Pietromonaco, Susan Saiter, Marianna Scandole, Judy Spencer-Klinghoffer, Robert Sforza, Maria Tennariello, Lenn Thompson, Marion Wolberg Weiss Contributing Artists And Photographers Matthew Benham, David Charney, John Davenport, Kimberly Goff, Barry Gordin, Katlean de Monchy, Richard Lewin, Stephanie Lewin, Michael Paraskevas, Nancy Pollera, Ginger Propper, Tom W. Ratcliffe III
.BU[3JHIUXBZ)FBUJOH"JS$POEJUJPOJOH 8FTU.POUBVL)XZ )BNQUPO#BZT/: 1IPOF XXXNBU[SJHIUXBZDPN
Danâ€™s Advisory Board Richard Adler, Ken Auletta, Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel, Avery Corman, Frazer Dougherty, Dallas Ernst, Audrey Flack, Billy Joel, John Roland, Mort Zuckerman
Manhattan Media Chairman of the Board: Richard Burns firstname.lastname@example.org President/CEO: Tom Allon email@example.com CFO/COO: Joanne Harras firstname.lastname@example.org Danâ€™s Papers LLC., is a division of Manhattan Media, publishers of AVENUE magazine, Our Town, West Side Spirit, New York Family, New York Press, City Hall, The Capitol, CityArts, Chelsea Clinton News, The Westsider and The Blackboard Awards.
ÂŠ 2012 Manhattan Media, LLC 79 Madison Ave, 16th Floor, New York, NY 10016 t: 212.268.8600 f: 212.268.0577 www.manhattanmedia.com
3FCBUFPGGFSJTWBMJEPOMZXJUIQVSDIBTFPGRVBMJGZJOH-FOOPYQSPEVDUT 4FSWJDFPGGFSBQQMJFTUPOFXDVTUPNFSPOMZ ÂŞ-FOOPY*OEVTUSJFT*OD4FFZPVS-FOOPYEFBMFSGPSEFUBJMT-FOOPYEFBMFSTJODMVEFJOEFQFOEFOUMZPXOFEBOEPQFSBUFECVTJOFTTFT0OFPGGFSBWBJMBCMFQFSRVBMJGZJOHQVSDIBTF 15638
Danâ€™s Papers Office Open Mon-Fri 8:30 am - 5:00 pm
May 18, 2012 Page 17
Page 18 May 18, 2012
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At 59TH & PARK AVENUE fast and easy ordering online at sherry-lehmann.com
Low Prices, Perfect Storage & GREAT Service!
Wine & Spirits Merchants Since 1934 â€œBlue Ribbonâ€?
Summer Delivery Service
Delivers to The Hamptons!
Sherry-Lehmann is proud to offer FREE DELIVERY to any point in New York State and Connecticut on any order over $100. We would also like to call your attention to our special â€œBLUE RIBBONâ€? deliveries. We can accept orders up to 2PM the day before our scheduled â€œBlue Ribbonâ€? truck goes to your area.
TO THE HAMPTONS, NORTHFORK & FIRE ISLAND: Saturdays, our special Blue Ribbon Service delivers from Bay Shore to Montauk Point, from Baiting Hollow to Orient Point, and to Fire Island on orders of 3 or more cases, or over $195. Orders can be placed up to 3pm, Friday. When ordering, please specify Blue Ribbon Service. Orders below the minimum are delivered via common carrier usually within 24 to 48 hours.
DOMAINES OTT ROSĂ‰ â€œCHATEAU ROMASSANâ€™â€™ 2010 Bottle $3695 Case $44340
In New York City? Visit our store at 59th and Park Avenue!
From Bandol on the Cote dâ€™Azur in Provence comes Franceâ€™s most famous ous rosĂŠ. This gorgeously dry rosĂŠ is distinguished by its amazingly creamy y and velvety smooth texture, exceptional nose of bright apricot and d peach, perfect balance and a wonderful finish. (A9469)
$)"5&"6%&4$-"/4$05&4%&1307&/$& & 304Â˛A8)*41&3*/("/(&- Bottle $1995 Case $23940 Look for ripe red fruits, with hints of minerals and flowers. This delicious bottle is a perfect, easy-quaffing wine for lunch, dinner or a delicious glass anywhere. (B2305)
CHATEAU MARGUI ROSĂ‰ Č°$05&"697"30*4&/1307&/$&Čą Bottle $2495 Case $29940
The wine is a beautiful light pink color, infused with aromas of fresh wild strawberry, cherry and peach. Some minerality with a hint of spice which is a perfect balance to the silky texture. This delicious blend of cinsault and grenache is perfect with food or simply a glass by itself. (A8212)
%0."*/&)06$)"35457*$50*3& ROSĂ‰ 2010 Bottle $1695 Case $20340
The wine from Jerome Quiot, Chateauneuf superstar is a beautiful, light pink color with lovely flavors of strawberry, raspberry, white peach and hints of almond, with a certain minerality that comes from the terroir. (A8294)
$67&&45-06*4-*45&-(3*47*/4%&4 4"#-&4Č°304Â˛Čą Bottle $995 Case $11940
Similar to RosĂŠ de Provence but with the added character and aromatic richness that comes from the sandy soils, this bargain-priced bottle will bring a smile to your face that will last the whole summer. (A7782)
$)"5&"6.*3"7"-$05&4%&1307&/$& 304&i1*/,'-0:% Bottle $2195 Case $26340
Just a lovely rose! Salmon color, pretty full-bodied with red cherry, melon (honeydew?) and tangerine flavors. Fresh and easy quaffing. A nice cool glass by itself or fine with cold cuts or roast chicken. (B2548)
Consists of 2 each of the RosĂŠs from the South of France listed here. We have hand-picked these 6 rosĂŠs for your springtime sampling. Whether itâ€™s for sipping poolside, or as the perfect pairing for your warm-weather meal, weâ€™ve got a rosĂŠ for you. (B3183)
ALSO AVAILABLE IN A 6 BOTTLE SAMPLER! Hamptons 6 bottle RosĂŠ Sampler - $124.95 Consists of 1 bottle of each of the RosĂŠs from the South of France listed here. (B3184)
1BSL"WFOVFBUUI4USFFU /FX:PSL /:tXXX4IFSSZ-FINBOODPN 1)0/&t'"9tFNBJMJORVJSJFT!TIFSSZMFINBOODPN
May 18, 2012 Page 19
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Page 20 May 18, 2012
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Last Thursday, Rick Hartmann, the pro at Bridgehampton’s Atlantic Golf Club, won the 2012 MGA Senior Match Play Championship. Hartmann defeated David Young in the final match on the 3rd playoff hole at Cold Spring Country Club to win the title. The tournament consisted of the top 32 senior players in the Met Section. Gregg and Mitchell Rechler, managing partners of Long Island’s largest commercial real estate company, Rechler Equity Partners, were recently honored as Business People of the Year by the Southampton Business Alliance during a golf outing at Southampton’s Sebonack Golf Course, host of the 2013 US Women’s Open. Awarded to Rechler Equity Partners by Suffolk County in 2009 and located in Westhampton Beach, the Hampton Business District at Gabreski, will be the East End’s first world-class business park. Bestselling author, reality TV star and Hamptons regular Bethenny Frankel released her first novel last week. Skinnydipping Chronicles one young woman’s pursuit of success in Hollywood.
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Springs resident cosmic couple Amy Zerner and Monte Farber’s Enchanted Birthday Book and Quantum Affirmations have both been awarded the 2012 Nautilus Silver Book Award in the Gift Books category. The Nautilus Awards recognizes books that promote spiritual growth, conscious living Amy Zerner & Monte Farber and positive social change, while at the same time they stimulate the imagination and offer the reader new possibilities for a better life and a better world. Past award winners include: the Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, M.D., Barbara Kingsolver, Marianne Williamson, Thich Nhat Hanh, Eckart Tolle, Rhonda Byrne, Joel Osteen, Andrew Weil, M.D., Gary Zukov, Mariel Hemingway and Judy Collins.
Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone and the Suffolk County Legislature have awarded funds for Next Exposure, a grant program run by the Suffolk County Film Commission, to the Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center’s film series and the Hamptons Take 2 Film Festival. Each organization will receive $6,000. Bridgehampton residents Natasha Esch, former president of Wilhelmina Models, and husband Matt Coffin have opened a new home store on Madison Street in Sag Harbor. The shop features vintage furniture and stylish accessories. (See South O’ the Highway on page 36)
May 18, 2012 Page 21
“Along with the New York Subway System, Hamptons Subway is the only underground transit system in the State of New York.”
NEW MONTAUK SECTION
Next week through Memorial Day Day By DAn rattiner
Week of May 18-24, 2012 Riders this week: 11,412 Rider miles this week: 107,412
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DOWN IN THE TUBE Jason Kidd looked sad holding a basketball and sitting alone on the subway between Southampton and Water Mill last Monday. It was the day after his beloved Dallas Mavericks, the team he piloted to the championships last year, got knocked out of the playoffs by the lowly Oklahoma City Thunder.
SUBWAY DELAYED RE-OPENING LAST TUESDAY Monday night after the subway shut down for its nightly maintenance, the workers brought out the giant, twirling Roto-Rooter bristle brush they use once a year to clean all the walls, ceilings and floors in the tunnels. The brush is a wonder to behold. It’s 12 feet in diameter and 20 feet long, and attached to the front of a subway car, it’s pig bristles turn corkscrew fashion brushing and brushing as the subway car guides it slowly down the tracks. Attached behind is the swiss shower water cannon car, which washes what the pig brush scrapes off and sends it down the drains rub-a-dub-dub. Call it spring cleaning, call it a miracle, but there was a 20 minute delay in finishing the job before the 7 a.m. reopening and we apologize for it. Still, the straphangers applauded the squeaky clean tunnels when they boarded the cars. “This is the Hamptons,” one of them shouted, pumping his fist in the air.
NO MORE TOKENS May 15 was the last day that old subway tokens could be brought to the token booths and exchanged for the new swipe cards. Some people on May 16 brought buckets and buckets of still more tokens and just angrily left them on the subway platform for people to trip over. Get over it, people.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALBRECHT SPEER Last Wednesday was the 100th birthday of Albrecht Speer, the classy German architect who designed our headquarters building in Hampton Bays in 1937. He did his best work in Berlin in those years. This is the only work he did in America, a project made from granite imported from Germany just moments before World War II broke out.
COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE I know I promised this week I would tell the full story about how I was able to snooker Mayor Bloomberg of New York into buying back the New York City subway system he had sold me last fall for $1. But now my agent tells me he’s sold my account as a book, with the movie rights gone to the Weinstein Brothers, so my mouth is sealed. All monies I make will go into the coffers of Hampton Subway, after I take my cut, of course. SUBWAY FRANCHISE NAME A big problem on Hamptons Subway is that the restaurant chain Subway has units on all the platforms for the hungry straphangers. There is confusion when saying, “I’m going to the Subway,” because of this, but the Commissioner is steadfast that we have to continue to call them that.
Page 22 May 18, 2012
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A medical assistant in Hampton Bays was arrested after she was caught writing fake prescriptions and having them filled by pharmacies. Old Man McGumbus, 103-year-old Shelter Island President of The Shelter Island Red Beard Society, and former World War II Bazooka Man, was charged with the following offenses last week: Public intoxication in the third degree, unlawful use of a cucumber, possession of a controlled substance, reckless driving, driving without insurance, operating a military vehicle on public property, public urination, failing to stop at the scene of an accident, resisting arrest in the third degree, sexual harassment, battery against a public official, unlawful possession of a live alligator, petit larceny, grand theft auto, shoplifting, trespassing, possession of an unregistered firearm, possession of an unregistered bazooka, two counts of aggravated harassment against a female escort, prostitution solicitation, one count of illegally running a gambling operation, inciting a riot, promoting gambling in the second degree, promoting prostitution in the third degree, illegal possession of the pharmaceutical drug Viagra and unlawful use of a banana. It’s kind of a long story.
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The Town of East Hampton has been considering using bow hunting as a method of controlling the deer population and just yesterday, they got a letter from PETA asking them not to do that. PETA suggested to the Town that they use other methods such as scare tactics to control deer populations, which included using loud radios and water sprinklers. I’m almost always in favor of PETA and their recommendations for animals. But the deer population is out of control and bow hunting helps control them. Water sprinklers? Is this a joke? I don’t mean to sound harsh, but people bow hunt. It’s a nice activity and when deer are shot and tracked, I’d say 90% of the time the hunter is able to track it down. To me, fishing and deer hunting are in the same category.
May 18, 2012 Page 23
Live Out Loud Gala Live Out Loud’s Young Trailblazers 11th Annual Gala presented five youths with scholarship as well as Alan Cumming (Star Award), Deutsh (Corporate Leadership Award) and Bruce T. Sloane (Founders Award), who will host the June 23rd Live Out Loud “Pride in the Hamptons” benefit. Photographs by Barry Gordin
Alan Cumming, Sandra Bernhardt, Bruce T. Sloane, Honoree
Joshua Blecher-Cohen, John Otto, Evan Martinez, Cassidy Madison, Brian Williams
Lisa Lampanelli, Richie Ridge
Timothy Nelson, Sir Ari Gold
WHBPAC “Woman of Distinction Award”
Leon Jay Sloane, Selma Sloane
Coffee House Blues Benefit This year’s Tea and Cookie benefit at Celadon Gallery in Watermill has grown into “becoming the Coffee House Blues,” a benefit for both the Clay Art Guild and the Hayground School. A “live music” jam was part of the entertainment, as well as coffee, snacks, hand thrown ceramics and a bake sale. Photographs by Kimberly Goff
The Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center’s Advisory Council celebrated its 10th Anniversary at The Sherry Netherland Hotel in New York. Yvonne Elliman was awarded with the “Woman of Distinction Award” an award to extraordinary women who have been powerful advocates of the theatre. Photographs by Barry Gordin
K.T. Sullivan, Mary Skillern, Betty Sullivan
B.D. Wong, Leo Preziosi Jr.
Yvonne Elliman, Donna Schwartz
Abby Merrill, Maggie Gilliam
Neil Braun, Wendy Keysw
Barbara Weisz, Carol Gertz
Little Flower Children & Family Services Award Dinner The Drama Desk hosted a panel discussion at Sardi’s with Broadway actors talking about the challenges of playing iconic roles, following in the footsteps of stars who gave memorable performances in the original productions. Photographs by Katlean DeMonchy
Nancy Robbins, Founder Celadon Gallery and Head of the Board of the Clay Art Guild
Howard Lorber, CEO Prudential Douglas Elliman, Jane Pontarelli, Joe Jurist
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May 18, 2012 Page 25
For Conscience Sake... What Did the First Settler Mean to Say as She Came Ashore in Southampton? By Dan Rattiner
ll my life, I have wondered about the first words uttered by the first English settler who came ashore at Southampton. There is a big boulder marking the spot on the beach in North Sea where these first settlers waded ashore in 1640. This place is called Conscience Point. “For conscience sake, we are on dry land once more,” were the first words spoken, reportedly by a woman. Has this statement ever bothered you? It bothered me. I have no idea what this statement means. And I wondered, did she? She was feeling something about it, that’s for sure. Over all these years, I never looked this up. I guessed “for conscience sakes” was some kind of Pilgrim talk. It was some religious thing, some hocus pocus. Of course they knew what it meant. But it was 1640 and people talked in this stilted way. All you have to do is read books written from that time. Here are the facts. In the spring of 1640, in the port town of Lynn, Massachusetts just north of Boston, a group of several dozen people, a little put off by the strict religious codes of the dominant group of Puritans and also apparently feeling the town was getting a
Now On Tour
little too crowded for the farming they wanted to do, met and decided to settle another part of the New World. There were about 30 of them. At the time, both the Puritans and the King of England were urging settlers to explore and make new settlements. You could get a patent to settle a piece of land from the Massachusetts Bay Colony. These 30 men and women applied for one and only a few weeks after their application, were granted one by the Earl of Sterling for eight square miles of land “to make their choice to sitt downe upon as best suiteth them,” the document read. At the time, the Dutch had settled what is now New York City and Queens. The new English colony would be a counterpoint to the east. The Puritans set out in a 40-foot sloop owned by Daniel Howe, and they headed out around Cape Cod, went south and then west into Long Island Sound, and then landed on the North Shore of Long Island —not far, as it horribly turned out, from a Dutch settlement there at Schout’s Bay. The Dutch arrested the English settlers as soon as they got off the boat and put them in jail. A few days later, after some negotiations, the Dutch freed the English as long as they promised to leave on their boat and never come back. As a result, they (Continued on next page.)
Watch for Dan Rattiner’s third memoir, Still in the Hamptons, arriving online and at all bookstores this summer. His first two memoirs, In the Hamptons, and In the Hamptons, TOO, are also available online and in bookstores.
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Conscience (Continued from previous page.) sailed back across the Sound to New Haven where, getting a new patent, they regrouped and headed out once again, this time toward somewhere further east on Long Island. Their new charter granted them “all those lands lying and being bounded between Peaconneck and the easternmost point of Long Island with the whole breadth of the said island from sea to sea.” This was quite a charter, though it was modified soon after to exclude all of what is now East Hampton Town because Lion Gardner and his wife, children and servants had gone to live there. And so the sloop sailed again, this time tucking in south of the North Fork of eastern Long Island and near what is now Shelter Island to land in this place which they referred to as North Sea and which we now call “Conscience Point.” The trip had taken 17 hours from Lynn. They slid up on the beach in a small boat, at which point this woman said her famous line. It is not clear, after this, whether the local Indians, the Shinnecocks, met them on the beach there, or met them soon after. In any case, the Shinnecocks, a peaceful people, exchanged gifts with them, and then led them down a long trail—today this is North Sea Road— to a clearing inland where they suggested the Englishmen settle. The Shinnecocks either helped them or showed them how to dig deep trenches over which they could place trees and bushes to brace themselves for when they could expect the cold winter. It was July, 1640. While researching all this, I also looked up whether anybody said anything at the more
famous landing by the English at Plymouth, 20 years before. There is a boulder there announcing it as the first English settlement in New England. But what I learned was that this was not actually where the English first landed, and it was very likely that where they first landed they were too miserable to have anything interesting to say. It was late at night and it was raining.
hose pilgrims, more than 102 of them in a bigger boat called the Mayflower, had first waded ashore at what is now Provincetown on Cape Cod. When they first arrived before any of them rowed in, they dropped anchor to think about things. They could see the land. They could see there was nobody on it. And, as it happened, the passengers, all of whom had agreed to become indentured servants to the captain and crew for seven years, started talking about rebellion. Why should they agree to servitude now? They were here, way beyond the jurisdiction of England. They were many more in number than the colonel who led them and the ship’s crew. They wanted to be relieved of their indenture. The end of this conversation resulted in the captain and crew and the religious leader of the expedition drawing up what was called the “Mayflower Compact” which basically reconfirmed what the original agreement said, but with less stringent terms. Everybody signed. Then they came ashore. Here are the notes from their leader William Bradford, who was the second governor of Plymouth Colony after John
Carver died, about this: “...though it was very dark and rained sore, yet in the end they got under the lee of a small island [Clark’s Island] and remained there all that night in safety... And this being the last day of the week, they prepared there to keep the Sabbath. On Monday they sounded the harbor and found it fit for shipping, and marched into the land and found divers cornfield, and little running brooks, a place (as they supposed) fit for situation.” At least it was the best they could find. They also could see that the land circled around a vast bay. All they needed to do was follow it around to the other end where, perhaps, they might find something better than the sandy soil they were on. They sent out an exploration party. At First Encounter Beach in Eastham they were attacked by the local Wampanoag tribe, which came with bows and arrows. When the pilgrims returned with musketfire, some of the Indians fell to the ground and the rest ran away. And then they sailed the Mayflower across to what became Plymouth, and that is what became their first settlement. According to the dictionary, the word “conscience” is defined as having “a sense of right and wrong.” There is a phrase in the dictionary, “In all or good conscience,” which is defined as “what you are saying is truly the case.” There are other definitions, but I think this one is the probable fit. In other words, she was saying “It is truly the case that we are back on dry land again.” And they were.
3rd Annual Healing Heart 5K Run/Walk
May 18, 2012 Page 27
When: May 20, 2012 Where: Martha Clara Vineyards, 6025 Sound Ave, Riverhead, NY • Give families the opportunity to participate in heart-healthy activities together. • Stop the nationwide increase in childhood obesity and take bold, innovative steps to help all children live longer and healthier lives. • Increase awareness of heart disease – the leading cause of death. Cost: $25 pre-registration / $30 day of race, Kids under 16 - $15 Time: 8:00 am – 9:45 am Day of event registration 10 am - ½ Mile Fun Run for ages 10 and under. 10:15 am Race Begins – 3.1 miles (oﬀ road through the vineyard) 11:30 am – 2 pm Awards celebration & health expo Live Music by: WHO ARE THOSE GUYS To register, visit our website at: www.healingheart5k.org Sponsored by East End Cardiology/Winthrop For more information please call 516-450-9121 or email email@example.com Also coming soon:
Heart of the Hamptons Ball June 23, 2012 - 6-11pm at the Hayground School, Bridgehampton
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Page 28 May 18, 2012
Dan’s Papers $6,000 Literary Competition Underway By Nicole stanek
an’s Papers has showcased artists on the cover of its publication for the last 25 years. Now, Dan’s Papers is also showcasing writers. Currently accepting submissions for a $6,000 Literary Prize for Nonfiction, this is the first literary prize to be offered on the Eastern End of Long Island for nonfiction. On Saturday, August 25, 2012, from 4 to 6 p.m., Dan’s Papers will be holding an awards ceremony at the John Drew Theatre of Guild Hall in East Hampton for the winner and the two runners-up of the contest. The winner will receive a prize of $5,000 while each runner up will receive a prize of $500. While announcing
the Prize, the winning entries will be read aloud to those attending the ceremony. On a special note, author Robert Caro, winner of two Pulitzer Prizes and the National Book Award, will be Honorary Chair of the Dan’s Papers Prize. For a $20 entry fee, writers get a chance to showcase their talent. Basic requirements include a double-spaced digital submission through Microsoft Word or another Word -compatible format entered no later than July 31, 2012. Contestants can enter up to three original submissions that reference Eastern Long Island in a meaningful way. All submissions should be written in prose, from 600 to 1500 words.
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This includes any sort of nonfiction writing, such as autobiographical content, biographical content, account of a day, opinion, history, profile of a person or institution, memoir, essay or humor. Poetry will not be accepted. The work may be previously published, however it can only be considered as an entry if permission is granted to the competition for use. Please note that the work of the deceased, the work of an anonymous writer, or the work of a Dan’s Papers employee will not be eligible. Contestants should be aware that all works submitted will remain the sole property of the writer or their agents. However, upon submission, writers are granting Dan’s Papers permission to publish their work in Dan’s Papers or at www.danshamptons.com. These pieces, if printed, will become a permanent part of the Dan’s Papers archives, its website, and its affiliates. These submissions may also reappear in retrospective issues, and on the website’s archive. Dan’s Papers plans to publish some of the best entries both online at www.danshamptons. com and in the paper to promote the prize during the 16 weeks of the competition. Those published will receive a $50 honorarium. At the end of the competition, these and other semifinalists will be chosen to comprise the 2012 Dan’s Papers Literary Journal. If interested in submitting a nonfiction piece, please visit danshamptons.com/literaryprize. Submissions can be sent until July 31, 2012. Only online submissions will be accepted.
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May 18, 2012 Page 29
Big Fish A New World Record for Rod and Reel Is Again Awarded to Montauk By Dan Rattiner
ontauk has more world Rod and Reel fishing records than any other fishing town in the world. And now there is another one. Last Friday, angler Thomas Cleveland, a mechanical engineer from Bay Shore, went out with his friend Dave Singleton aboard the Montauk Lady captained by Fred Shore and his mate Bob Adams. Then went to Coxes Ledge, 30 miles from Montauk. “We were fishing for Blues,” Captain Shore later said. “But then I saw this group of monster guppies basking in the sun along the surface. I’d never seen anything like this before. “I immediately had the mate replace the reels on the rods, using new reels with a smaller gauge line I had on hand,” said Shore. “I saw right away this was extraordinary. I looked up
guppy in the rulebook. You couldn’t enter one with any line stronger than a 10-pound test.” Captain Shore excitedly talked to Cleveland about what was going on, Cleveland and Singleton talked and it was decided Cleveland would make the attempt. “You take it,” Singleton said. “I’ll watch.” Captain Shore then had his mate put a worm on the hook, turned the wheel so Montauk Lady would drift sharply to port, and then motored over very slowly to get close without, he hoped, frightening the guppies. Cleveland stood in front of his fighting chair, made a long cast with the smaller rod, then a second cast, then a third and the finally, one of the guppies wiggled over and took a bite. “We got him!” Cleveland said. “It’s huge.” Cleveland then took two steps back, settled down in the fighting chair and strapped himself in.
This particular guppy, however, was a fighter. Although no longer than six inches—most guppies are about one half inch—he’d make these spectacular leaps out of the water, shimmying and shaking his sparkling gold body in the sunshine, trying to get free. Cleveland hung on. Twenty minutes later, the Captain phoned Uihlein’s Boat Rental to alert Henry of what was going on. The Captain said he hoped they’d have the guppy within the hour, and that they would, with luck, be in by 4 p. m. After that, the word went out. Record fish coming in to Uihlien’s. The whole town began to head down there. Cleveland fought this guppy for more than an hour and a half. “It was exhausting,” he later told everybody back at the dock. “He’d race off one way, then race off another. I’d pull him in, then have to let him (Continued on next page.)
Fast Food, Obesity and My Mother By Dan Rattiner
eople have asked me how I like our new Dan’s Papers offices on County Road 39 in Southampton. They are much more spacious and new. In recent years in Bridgehampton, we had been operating with 35 or 40 people out of this two-bedroom house. It was difficult. Now, with new projects, with our expanded web presence, with our magazines, event division and with our other new ventures, we just didn’t have room anymore. This is a huge plus for us. On the other hand there are some minuses. I miss Bridgehampton. I have a longer commute from my home in East Hampton—10 minutes. But these are really just
minor inconveniences. The biggest minus for me, towering over all, is fast food. This is a really loopy story, much more complicated than you might think. It involves mild hypochondria, hot fudge sundaes, doctor’s offices, a law in East Hampton Town that turns out not to be there, Southampton Hospital and my childhood. For starters, I will remind people that County Road 39, better as it is for a business environment, is not Main Street, Bridgehampton. In Bridgehampton, the closest places where we could eat were Bobby Van’s, the Candy Kitchen, Pierre’s and World Pie, institutions all. In Southampton, the closest places to eat are Burger King, Dunkin’ Donuts, McDonalds and the 7-Eleven. This is a problem.
When I was a boy in school growing up, my parents would be very proud of me if I won a spelling contest or gave a successful recital on the piano which, as a boy, I studied. After the event, they’d take me to a restaurant where they had hot fudge sundaes. I would be told that was my reward. I was free to modify it— butterscotch sauce for example or make it into a banana split—but I so remember my parents looking at me proudly—as I scarfed down this special treat. Now the third part of this is how I am taking care of myself healthwise today. Like many people who want to stay on top of things, I see a lot of doctors. I have pains here and I have pains there. The other (Continued on next page.)
Page 30 May 18, 2012
Guppy (Continued from previous page.) back out.” The rest of the guppies had fled the scene as a result of all the commotion so it was either this one or nothing. One hour later, the guppy began to tire, and 10 minutes after that, Cleveland got him alongside where mate Adams, with a deft hand, was able to scoop the fish up in a net and bring him on board. But then the guppy leaped out of the net and began flopping around on the deck. It was a little frightening. Cleveland, and Singleton with him, scrambled below to get out of the way, leaving the Captain and the mate to struggle to get the guppy under control. When the Montauk Lady came through the jetties at 4 p.m. with the four men beaming and raising their fists aloft in triumph, the crowd on shore responded with cheers and applause.
A hush fell over the crowd as Captain Shore, Marina owner Henry Uihlein and two mates carried the guppy, now dead, ashore in a bucket and put him on the scale. People gathered around. Reporters were there from all the local papers, also newsmen from Channel 12 and Channel 55. “The weight is…” intoned Henry Uihlein, “0.641 pounds.” People cheered and danced around. “It is 2.4 inches long and 0.8 inches round.” A string was attached to the tail of the fish and it was hoisted up on a crane. It glistened in the sun. Cleveland stood next to the fish with his rod and reel, on the other side stood Uihlein and Singleton. “What are you going to do with the fish?” a
reporter asked Cleveland. “Have it stuffed and mounted, of course,” he said. “It’s not every day you get to catch a world record fish.” All that has to happen now is for the International Game Fishing Association to approve the record. The current record for guppy is 0.0522 pounds, posted by Guy Enrenrouk of Capetown, South Africa on December 12, 1966. Bye bye, Capetown.
Food (Continued from previous page.) day I hurt my knee. Banged it into something. Jeremy Lin had a torn meniscus and had to have an operation on his knee. What if I had a torn meniscus? If I don’t attend to it, it will get worse. I could have a limp for the rest of my life. I’ve got to do something about this. Now I make no apologies for having this attitude toward my body. It surely does swing toward hypochondria, but then again, it gets things done. With some anxiety, I call my orthopedist to make an appointment. Now here’s the thing. Practically all my doctors have their offices clustered around Southampton Hospital. It makes sense. If they need to go to the hospital to see a patient, there they are. And here’s another thing. For 20 years or more, it’s been the belief of people in East Hampton that fast food restaurants are verboten in this town. We are an historic town. We want to keep it that way. During my long tenure with this newspaper, I know of several occasions where fast food places have been in the works, but every time they never even get to the point of making an application. They are told of the law and they go away. Now it turns out that such a law does not exist in this town. A 7-Eleven opened in Montauk last year. Montauk is part of East Hampton Town. The Town emptied their pockets. They looked everywhere. They couldn’t come up with this so-called law. But this is no never mind. It’s been 20 years that we have not had fast food in East Hampton. And though I am happy for that, it is true that every once in awhile, maybe once a month, I get into some sort of stressful situation, call it a sugar rush if you will, and I get this craving for fast food. I see those golden arches. But they are too far away to get to. So I live without. Which is probably why though I may be a bit pudgy, I do not suffer from the national affliction of obesity. Now let us, you and I, put this all together and what happens? Well, when I leave my doctor’s office with the good news that my fear of a permanent limp is not going to come about, I feel elation. It was stressful going in to the doctor. Now it is cause for elation coming out. And celebration! And so it has been that for the last 20 years, every time I have gone to one of my doctors, I have, discovering all my worry was for nothing and all the fast food joints are right at hand, I skip out to my car and drive straight to McDonalds for a Big Mac, French fries, an ice cream sundae and any other thing I can pack in. It’s my reward! A big feast for having dodged the bullet! As a matter of fact I have all this in mind when I leave my house in East Hampton! Hi, mom. Hi, dad. I DID it!
May 18, 2012 Page 31
The Rowers I’ve Heard of “Not in My Backyard,” but “Not in That Nearby Cove?” By Dan koontz
owing, or crew, is a sport that for many carries the faint tinge of elitism. Perhaps we lump it in with polo and sailing, sports that seem designed for people with large bank accounts. We picture privileged Ivy League rowers in their pricey preppy regalia, and figure we’re better off supplying our children with a bat and a ball. We ask ourselves where kids go to learn the sport, and we assume it’s some fancy resort that only high rollers know about. Finally, if we see a crew rowing out on the water, we may develop the idea that rowing is more of a recreation than an athletic activity—a pleasant diversion for wealthy people to engage in when they’re not eating caviar, getting massaged, or buying Rolls-Royces. From a distance, when you can’t see the sweat or strain, rowing can
look rather like a pastime. This, we might tell ourselves, is not a real sport. Our boy should play football instead. Thanks to Sag Harbor Community Rowing (SHCR), all of the possible misconceptions about rowing are coming to an end. Founded in 2008, Sag Harbor Community Rowing has rowing shells (outsiders would call them boats), oars, life preservers, and instruction for rowers from beginners to advanced. They are located at Cove Park in Sag Harbor, which is on Redwood Road, at a spot that provides the only good public place to launch a racing shell into the cove. Forget the need for a trust fund. For a membership fee of only $250 (or only $125 for children 10 – 17), members can use the equipment from May 1 through November 15 during daylight hours. For those without
prior experience, Community Rowing provides instructors on Tuesday evenings from 5:30 to 7 p.m. and on Saturday mornings from 7:30 to 9 a.m. More experienced rowers can also frequently find partners to row in a double if they come at these times. Now that the price is right, how can you get your kids more intensive instruction? Do they need an invitation from the Queen? No! Sag Harbor Community Rowing has that covered with their Summer Rowing Camps. Each week from June 25 through August 31, kids nine and older can participate in morning or afternoon sessions where they will learn balance and technique for moving the boat through the water with efficiency and skill. Visit www. rowsagharbor.org for tuition and more details about this program. As to whether rowing (Continued on next page.)
The Saving of Poxabogue Golf Course By Dan Rattiner
outhampton Town bought out East Hampton Town’s half share in the Poxabogue Golf Club last week. Southampton now owns the whole thing. This is a happy ending to a long and interesting story about this public golf course that sits wholly within Southampton Town but within a three wood of East Hampton. It’s a story about greed, death, golf, sex and lies. No, actually, it’s just the first three. But it’s good enough. The golf course, which is nine holes, was originally built back in the 1930s because the local farmers and merchants, and also the tourists, could not play golf at the private clubs built by the rich. It was a small potato farm
originally. Actually, it was not really enough land for nine holes. So they built six par 3 holes and three par 4 holes. Voila. Nine holes. Around 1965, the family that built it improved the property. Originally there had been a small building where you could pay the $5 bucks to play, rent some balls and perhaps some clubs. Now there was a new building. About a quarter of it became the place to rent and pay. The rest of it became a luncheonette, today famously run by Danny Murray. Golfers could eat both before and after a round. In the mid-1990s, the woman who had inherited Poxabogue from her parents lay on her deathbed. She was approached by three Hamptons millionaires who, through intermediaries, offered her $1 million for it. She
didn’t sell, but after her death, the estate sold it to them. One of these buyers really wanted to continue the club, or so it seemed to me at the time covering this story as it unfolded. The other two wanted to either put up a 45-house housing development or, if that scared everybody— Poxabogue was a real recreational plus for the community—force some person or group to take it over to save it from a horrible fate as a housing development. In terms used by developers, this is called “flipping” a property. The developers made lots of noises about what they wanted to do. They did, to their credit, spend a lot of money to improve the club in the second year of their ownership. They brought in a pro. They (Continued on page 34.)
Page 32 May 18, 2012
Rowing (Continued from previous page.) is a REAL sport: my own son, who was never However, it is a low-impact sport, and so unlike much of an athlete, was introduced to rowing in football, injuries are rare, and usually caused through a Sag Harbor Community Rowing camp by bad technique. If you keep up with rowing, session. (Incidentally, rowing is a great sport you will get fit and you arenâ€™t liable to hurt for people who arenâ€™t any good at throwing or yourself. My son kept it up, and now he rows catching a ball.) When on the varsity boat he started rowing, I at his school. Heâ€™s all figured I would give This spring, 30 students from Piermuscle, and he hasnâ€™t it a try as wellâ€”and son, East Hampton, the Ross School broken any part of his let me tell you, it is body! NOT just a pastime. and one homeschooler did crew as This spring, 30 It exercises all of the their sport through SHCR. students from Pierson, muscle groups and East Hampton High requires tremendous School, the Ross endurance. Those idyllic-looking boats out School and one homeschooler did crew as their there on the peaceful water are the site of one spring sport through Sag Harbor Community of the most grueling activities known to man. Rowing. Competing recently at the Long Island
Youâ€™re Invited! TO OUR
Junior Championships, three of their boats picked up medals and others placed very well against a large number of crews. It seems reasonable to assume that, if it werenâ€™t for Sag Harbor Community Rowing, these young people would never have even heard of crew, much less become involved in it. Especially for a small school like Pierson, the availability of a sport like rowing means that students have an opportunity to be active and gain strength even if they arenâ€™t great at swinging a bat. By bringing this less familiar sport to the area, Sag Harbor Community Rowing is doing a great thing for the local youth.
ecently, however, while there have been no complaints and everybody agrees that Sag Harbor Community Rowing is a great asset to local kids, there has been some question as to whether the village would allow them to remain at Cove Park. Sag Harbor Mayor Brian Gilbride, in particular, has expressed his feeling that Cove Park may be too small to accommodate the numbers of children now involved. This position puts the program in jeopardy, because the boats are extremely â€œtippyâ€?, to use a landlubberâ€™s term, and they need calm, protected water â€“ the kind that you only find in the coves. Trying to launch a racing single at Havens Beach, which has been suggested as an alternative location, would be a recipe for capsizing, not to mention the dangers involved with heavier boat traffic in the harbor
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area. In order to draw attention to the situation, dozens of young rowers appeared at last weekâ€™s Sag Harbor Village Board meeting, and a select group made prepared remarks. While Sag Harbor Community Rowingâ€™s lease on Cove Park is not currently up for review, the young peopleâ€™s show of support for the program seems to have softened Mayor Gilbrideâ€™s position somewhat. He was quoted in The Sag Harbor Express as saying, â€œIf the owner can stay under the radar and the club doesnâ€™t grow much larger I think they will be fine at Cove Park.â€? While this may not be the full-throated endorsement that some might be looking for, at least it eases worries about imminent eviction. Check out www.rowsagharbor.org or, better yet, get out there and row!
May 18, 2012 Page 33
Iâ€™m Going to Make a Fortune with My Friend Andy Warhole By mr. sniev
am always coming up with ideas on how to make money. Some of them havenâ€™t panned out but I will not be deterred. This one is a sure thing! I was watching the news the other day and there was a story about how a guy named Andy Fields bought five paintings at a Las Vegas garage sale for $5. When he decided to reframe them he discovered an original Andy Warhol sketch hidden behind one of them. It has been reported to be valued at more than $1 million. That is quite fortunate for Fields but maybe even more fortunate for me, as it gave me a brilliant money-making idea. The 1963 Warhol canvas titled Eight Elvises fetched $100 million. The private transaction was reported in a 2009 article in The Economist, which described Warhol as the â€œbellwether of the art marketâ€? Warholâ€™s works include some of the most expensive paintings ever sold. Most East Enders are aware that many years ago, Mr. Warhol along with a group of other artists made Montauk their home away from home. In a way they actually helped put Montauk on the map. What many donâ€™t know is that Warhol was born on August 6, 1928, the youngest son of Ondrej and Julia Warhola (not Ondrej and Julia Warhol.) The East End is still known for its artists and art aficionados so I am going to take advantage of that fact and open an Andy Warhole Gallery. Thatâ€™s right, Andy Warhole. Mr. Warhole is
a local guy I found through the Internet. His name is spelled differently than Warhol or Warhola, but close enough to confuse people. Mr. Warholeâ€™s principal employment is that of an animal psychologist, providing services to local celebrities, whose animals have emotional issues. Animal suicide attempts have been down the last few years so his business has been slow. He was more than willing, for a 50% ownership position, to lend his name to the Gallery. I think people are so busy they wonâ€™t realize the difference in the spelling of the names (Warhole vs. Warhol) and will visit the
studio. I have convinced the owner of an awesome building in Montauk to dedicate the Warhole Gallery Space rent-free, for a 45% ownership position. I have already contacted a leading Manhattan Publicist who is willing to promote the Gallery for a 15% ownership. I will be offering Dan a 10% ownership as compensation for advertising in Danâ€™s Papers. I have agreed to a 20% ownership with a major East End Celebrity, in return for an endorsement and to be present at the Gallery Opening and future events. I will also be donating a 20% ownership to The Montauk Starving Artist Fund. As for the artwork I will be selling, I recently ran across a computer program that can take any scanned picture and convert the image to one that is Warholesque. It takes 10 minutes for me to create a one-of-akind 8.5 x 11 inch Warhole. So that means I can do six an hour. I intend to sell them for slightly less than what a real Warhol would sell for. And so quite possibly, just by virtue of the fact that some guy happened across a genuine Warhol at a garage sale in Las Vegas, I may now have a mega-million dollar enterprise that will offer me financial stability for life. Thanks Mr. Warhol and Mr. Warhole. The only other thing I need to do is find a good accountant, as I am not very good calculating numbers or percentages. Note: If for some reason the Warhole Gallery doesnâ€™t work out, I also have a lead on an Italian guy in The North Fork with the last name of Picazzo. Sounds like Picasso.
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