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DAN'S PAPERS, May 1, 2009 Page 28


by Dan Rattiner Week of May 2 – 8, 2009 Riders this week: 12, 424 Rider miles this week: 87,525 SUGGESTION BOX DEMAND The wooden suggestion box that stood by the Hampton Bays turnstiles for six years without incident has still not been returned. However, this past week, our office in Hampton Bays received a note in an envelope that also contained a small wooden piece of the suggestion box. It read, “Each week that we do not receive the $1,000 we have demanded, we will send you another piece.” Nobody at our offices knows about any request for $1,000. And there was no indication where such funds could be left or sent if the Commissioner decided to acquiesce to this unreasonable demand. Workers, measuring the piece of the box sent and comparing it to pictures of it, have calculated that if future pieces match this piece, the full consumption of the box will occur sometime next January. LE SOMIELLE, THE DINING CAR! The great French Restaurant Le Somielle has opened a branch on the Hampton Subway. This is a big coup for us, as this restaurant has the most stars possible in the French review book, Michelin, five, I think, or six. Anyway, it is the dining car on each and every subway train in our system beginning today on, right in the middle,

so people can access it from either the front of the train or from the back. The restaurant is being run as a franchise. Featured on the menu are frog’s legs, fresh boar’s tongue, truffles, pheasant under glass, squid, venison and some gooey thing found at the bottom of the Mediterranean that as yet does not have a name. It is just like being in France. We hope you enjoy it. The dining car opened three days ago as what they call a “soft opening” to get the kinks out. It’s official opening will be this Saturday night when special diners, such as Kim Cattrall, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, Drew Barrymore, Justin Timberlake, Madonna and Alec Baldwin will be on board for a private party especially for them to enjoy all the yummies. Owner Francois du Lac Vegetebalasoupcon will be on hand to greet everyone. He’s French. LETTER: I want to express my disappointment in what you call a dining car on the Hampton Subway. I went to it three days ago when it opened for the first time. It was packed with people, but by waving a $50 bill I got a seat. The service is wonderful, and I suppose the food is wonderful, too. The trouble is, it’s slow. I got on in Amagansett. And by the time I reached my destination in Shinnecock 28 minutes later (everyone is so proud of the promptness of the trains and I appreciate that) I’d just placed my order and had

to get off. Question: How do I get my $50 back? COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE As this letter just came in, I would like to answer it at this time. How about this for service? Here is my answer. For crying out loud, Le Somielle is one of the world’s great restaurants and is surely worth the wait. It is no secret that the Hampton Subway system is in the shape of a 80-mile circumference, flattened donut and that therefore it is possible to get on it anywhere and just go round and round. Service at a restaurant such as this might take three hours, and it is true that this might mean two or even two and a half round trips. Get on the subway at Amagansett, and then go around twice and three hours later get off at Shinnecock. That’s what you do. For you to suggest that an entire five-course, four-star French dinner be consumed in just a 28-minute period between Amagansett and Shinnecock misses the point, for crying out loud. As for your 50 bucks, mister, consider it a lesson learned. Our souvenir book One Year on the Hampton Subway is now out. It chronicles the riots, escalators gone berserk, explosions, boxing matches, subway car races and the 90-pound raccoon that ate an environmentalist during the attempt to remove her from the subway air vent in Hampton Bays. We all remember that. It’s on sale in all Bookhampton Book Stores (Amagansett, East Hampton, Sag Harbor and Southampton.) Or by it online at or over the counter at Dan’s Papers in Bridgehampton, the Hampton Jitney OMNI in Southampton, or by calling 631-537-0500. The cost is $18.48 plus tax, grand total $20.


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Dan's Papers May 1, 2009  

Dan's Papers, the 51-year-old bible of the Hamptons, is owned by Manhattan Media, a multi-media publishing company based in New York City,...

Dan's Papers May 1, 2009  

Dan's Papers, the 51-year-old bible of the Hamptons, is owned by Manhattan Media, a multi-media publishing company based in New York City,...