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OPEN HOUSES : Sat. May 1 st through Sun. May 2 nd AMAGANSETT
6XQÇ§$030 +DZNV1HVW/DQHÇ§ Finely crafted 5 BR, 6.5 BA cedar home features grand, ďŹ‚owing living spaces inside and out. Light-ďŹ‚ooded, southfacing kitchen and cathedral living room with ďŹ replace and French doors to patio. Dir: Main St. in Amagansett, left on Abrahams Landing to Hawkâ€™s Nest the second left. Excl. F#65921 | Web#H46031.
Brand new 4 bedroom, 3 bath colonial. Hardwood ďŹ‚ooring, den, study, home ofďŹ ce, family room, basement, central air and 2-car garage. Co-Excl. F#69851 | Web#H30379.
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6XQÇ§30 /DXUHO+LOO/DQHÇ§ Luxuriously constructed, brand new 7,000sf. architectural masterpiece by renowned architect John P. Laffey. Located at the end of a 500ft. private driveway, off a quiet cul-desac, in the Stoney Hill section. Every amenity. Must see. Excl. F#67684 | Web#H13962.
You want it all and you deserve it all! Formal dining room and living room, eat-in kitchen with double stoves, family room with french doors and wood-burning stove, pool on a quiet half acre. F#72304 | Web#H30318.
6DWÇ§$030 %1RUWK5RDGÇ§ Minutes from Southampton, this 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath home offers wood ďŹ‚oors, cathedral ceilings in dining room and living room, family room with sliders to pool, 2 ďŹ replaces, and 2-car garage on .82 acres. F#72002 | Web#H54914.
6DWÇ§30Ç§%\$SSRLQWPHQW2QO\ 2FHDQIURQWÇ§'XQH5RDGÇ§ A Fleetwood designed oceanfront, recently built with panoramic views across the sea to the Bay on a most gorgeous quiet stretch of beachfront on coveted Dune Road in Bridgehampton. Excl. F#243670 | Web#H19782.
New 2 bedroom, 2+ bath condo commanding bay views. An enviable residence with exercise rooms, ďŹ replace and central air. Community swimming pool. Dir: Montauk Hwy to Canoe Place Rd. F#70384 | Web#H44425.
6DW 6XQÇ§30 %XWWHU/DQHÇ§ Modern 1-level with every amenity possible crafted by Published Designer. Double master bedrooms - 4 berooms, 4 baths. Beautiful gunite pool/spa. Spacious living quarters with large screen televisions and satellite radio throughout. All set on rustic Butter Lane acre with big sky views. Season Rental $85,000. Excl. F#64586 | Web#H10170.
6XQ Ç§ 30 %HOORZV7HUUDFHÇ§ Beautiful contemporary with signiďŹ cant price reduction! Landscaped 1.07 acre lot with great trees and privacy. F#70478 | Web#H38168.
6DW 6XQÇ§30 %XWWHU/DQHÇ§0'/' Country home nestled inside of a 30 acre reserve on Butter Lane with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths. Garage and separate entrance for one of the bedrooms. Tranquility abounds in this perfect natural hamptons setting. F#72424
On 1+ acre, this 2,850sf. new home boasts grand master suite and 3 guest rooms. Great room with wood stove and radiant heat, professional kitchen and many more amenities. Roanoke section of Riverhead. .5 miles to beach. MLS# 2276201
Grand estate area 4 bedroom , 5.5 bath beach house on one acre, very private street located between Halsey Neck Beach and Coopers Neck Beach. Heated pool with new pool house and detached garage make it easy to move right in for summer enjoyment! Excl. F#69298 | Web#H21875. Dir: South on Halsey Neck Ln, left on Meadowmere Ln, house on S/E corner of Meadowmere Ln and Meadowmere Place.
REMSENBURG 6XQÇ§30 0DOODUG/DQHÇ§ The views will mesmerize you from this 5 bedroom, 4 bath custom contemporary set on 2.2 riverfront acres. Amenities include open living area with ďŹ replace and walls of glass, 12ft. ceilings, sauna, heated waterfront pool and dock. F#66829 | Web#H15287.
6DW 6XQÇ§$030 2OG0RQWDXN+LJKZD\Ç§)URP00 Panoramic view offers 68 residences, ranging in size from 1,200 to 6,500sf. set on 10 oceanfront acres with 1,000ft. of beachfront, concierge service, porters, beach and pool attendants, on-site housekeeping. F#67395 | Web#H20840.
6XQÇ§30 +LJKYLHZ'ULYHÇ§ Features 7,300sf. with spectacular water views on 1 acre. It has a formal dining room and living room, 4 large bedroom suites, gourmet kitchen, 4-story elevator, 3 ďŹ replaces, 4 full baths + 2 half baths, racketball, wine cellar, movie theatre, steam room + spa pool. Co-Excl. F#72230 | Web#H26097.
Newly renovated. Includes hardwood ďŹ‚oors,top-of- theline appliances, master suite with 2 full baths, with 3 heads and Jacuzzi, all bedrooms en-suite and ďŹ replace. 5 full baths, ofďŹ ce with coffered ceilings, built-in sound system. Co-Excl. F#45573 | Web#H0145573.
Modern English traditional style Architectâ€™s home in the Village with heated pool, 3/4 bedrooms with a grand master suite and master bath! Dramatic screened-in-porch or relax by the living room ďŹ re. Excl. F#60661 | Web#H48549.
Gated elegantly private 4+ bedroom traditional in conveniently located in Shinnecock with picturesque approach lined with ďŹ‚owering perennials surrounded by lush gardens. Pennsylvania stone walls enhance the breath taking 1.4 acre setting complete with a gunite pool and room for tennis. Excl. F#69542 | Web#H11421.
6DWÇ§$030 3LQH1HFN$YHQXHÇ§ Awesome sunsets and waterfront living are yours in the wonderful Pine Neck Community. Overlooking a protected cove on Noyac Bay, westerly panoramic views. Deep water and mooring rights. Excl. F#72063 | Web#H13335.
6XQ Ç§ 30 (ULFDV/DQHÇ§
Sited on a lushly landscaped acre, this renovated Hamptonstyle home is in an absolute perfect location. The open ďŹ‚oor plan and tray ceilings add dimension to this 5 bedroom, 6.5 bath home with 2 ďŹ replaces. F#72430 | Web#H39100.
Hear the ocean from this fabulous 1.4 acre property with a 5 bedroom beach house and heated pool just off of Danielâ€™s Lane. Hottest property in Sagaponack. Co-Excl. F#245753 | Web#H22398.
Authentic modernism built originally in 1971 designed by Henri Gueron, architect, and lovingly restored keeping the original integrity intact. Light ďŹ lled in a private setting down a long drive off the road this 3 bedroom home has a main ďŹ‚oor master. Excl. F#69907 | Web#H31417.
Priced to sell. Unique waterfront home. Custom built, 4/5 BR, 5 BA home is perfect for year round or summer living. 1.9 acres on Quantuck Creek with state-of-the-art kitchen, pool, hot tub and ďŹ nished basement complete this beautiful home. Excl. F#45058 | Web#H0145058.
Custom built 3,700sf. traditional set on 1.5 acres located just minutes from the pristine beaches of Sagaponack. This warm and welcoming home boasts 5 bedrooms, 4 baths and a professionally outďŹ tted kitchen with top-of-the-line appliances. Excl. F#71014 | Web#H44660.
FOR ALL THINGS REAL ESTATE
6DW 6XQÇ§$030 'HQLVRQ5RDGÇ§
A stylish 4 bedroom spacious post modern home on a quiet lane close to shopping and the village of East Hampton. Light ďŹ lled with many French glass doors and decking there are many wonderful details built in from lovely moldings to shelves in a fabulous den/ofďŹ ce. Excl. F#67099 | Web#H36891.
This c.1930â€™s Scandinavian-style house was built by Norwegian craftsmen and restored by European artisans with every attention to detail. This historic Nordic house has unique features and perfectly incorporates carved wood and stone together. The 3.5 acre parcel on Shinnecock Hills affords privacy and bay views. Dir: South side of Montauk Hwy between Peconic Rd and Hawthorne. F#69960 | Web#H32686.
6DW 6XQÇ§30 0RQWDXN+Z\Ç§
EASTHAMPTON 6DWÇ§30 2FHDQ3DUNZD\Ç§
6DW 6XQÇ§$030 &DQRH3ODFH5GÇ§
WATERMILL 6XQÇ§30 0HFR[5RDGÇ§ Traditional-style SOH home with expert details & amenities. 6 bedrooms, 6.5 baths, 4 ďŹ replaces, professional kitchen with ďŹ replace, adjacent screenedin porch and stone patio. Finished basement. 20x40 gunite pool. 2-car garage. Bordered by reserve. Co-Excl. F#57953 | Web#H0157953.
6DWÇ§30 2OG7UDLO5RDGÇ§ Engaging 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath contemporary ideally set on 1.10 acres. Its many features include ďŹ replace, basement, hardwood ďŹ‚oors, central air and pool. A ďŹ ne choice for comfort! Excl. F#70961 | Web#H45364
P RU D E N T I A L E L L I M A N C O M 1319096
ÂŠ2010. An independently owned and operated member of Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc. is a service mark of Prudential Insurance Company of America. Equal Housing Opportunity. All material presented herein is intended for information purposes only. While, this information is believed to be correct, it is represented subject to errors, omissions, changes or withdrawal without notice. All property outlines and square footage in property listings are approximate.
DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 4 www.danshamptons.com
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APRIL 30, 2010
Rupert’s Rag by Dan Rattiner
Ripped from the Archives: Long Distance Swimmer Enters Atlantic by Dan Rattiner
Saving the College by Dan Rattiner
Springtime Chat with Restaurateur Jon Luc
Deep Root Fertilizing = Summer Splendor
by Dan Rattiner 17
Google Me by Dan Rattiner
New York State Picks a Fight it Can’t Win by Dan Rattiner
Half of a Film Shot in EH Oceanfront Mansion by David Lion Rattiner
Givin’ You the Business by T.J. Clemente
Estate of Mind by T.J. Clemente
Around Westhampton Book Review by Stacy Dermont
South O’ the Highway
Shop ‘til You Drop Take a Hike
Err, A Parent
SPECIAL SECTION: SUMMER CAMPS
Hampton Country Day Camp
Camps Of The Hamptons 47
The Perfect S’More
Simple Art of Cooking Review: Brewster’s Seafood Market
Opera from the Underworld by Susan Galardi
52 52 10
Good Films Art Commentary Honoring the Artist
Over the Barrell
North Fork Events
Kids’ Events Art Events
Movies Day by Day
Hampton Luxury Liner Schedule Letters to Dan
56 57 68
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2221 Montauk Highway • P.O. Box 630 • Bridgehampton, NY, 11932 • 631-537-0500 Classified Phone 631-537-4900 • Classified Fax 631-283-2896 Dan's Papers was founded in 1960 by Dan Rattiner and is the first free resort newspaper in America.
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Honoring the Artist: Gia Schifano This week’s cover by Gia Schifano has a most intriguing title: “Road to Somewhere.” At first glance, the view could be anyplace in the Hamptons. When we look again, we recognize it as one of our favorite spots. The road is not to “somewhere” but rather to a specific setting called Gerard Point. Situated in East Hampton, the area has a special significance for this critic, who used to take her elderly mother there every day. Schifano’s work captures the iconic rocks and cottages sitting on the edge of the bay, the curvy road that dead ends at a small beach, the bathers and fishermen, the peace and calm. Memories abound here and always will. Q: There are many popular places that artists paint on the East End, but rarely are there scenes of Gerard Point. Do you have a history as I do with that spot? A: As far as the neighborhood, I just stumbled upon it. I do a lot of cruising around—I’m not from the Hamptons, but I used to come here a lot because my parents had a home in Southampton. I grew up in New Hyde Park, and we called the Hamptons “going to the country” or “the beach.” Q: And your favorite place? A: Off North Sea Harbor, particularly Conscious Point and Towd Point. I love to go kayaking there to explore all the nooks and crannies. Q: Your current position is very different from painting. A: I am the principal’s secretary at the Middle School in East Williston. But the teachers call me to do artwork; everyone is very supportive of my creative side. Q: Do you manage to paint anyway when you get home from work? A: I paint at least three nights a week. If I’m
on a roll, I can paint until midnight. Q: How do you feel about art and artists in general? A: There’s no such thing as bad artists. If you put something out there, that’s enough. Q: How about your own formal training? A: I majored in psychology, although my high school art teachers wanted me to major in art. But I was always asked, “What are you going to do with art?” Q: So, how did you learn about art? A: My mother painted with different art leagues, and local artists influenced me growing up. My father gave me an appreciation of the sky, the stars, the land and water, all subjects I tend to paint. I get inspired by working with artists even today through art leagues. Sharing is so important because painting can be isolating. Q: What might one of your conversations with artists or friends sound like? A: I tell my friends, everything is not black and white. Develop your imagination. Look at a tree, for example. What color is it? It’s not just green. There’s red and green. Dig deeper. Q: How about other artists? How have they inspired you? A: Well, Georgia O’Keeffe has been an inspiration. I’ve done large pieces of florals like her. Q: And the future? A: I want to get off the color palette of land and sea and punch in high funky colors. I also envy artists who do abstraction. I want to be looser, but it would take a lot of discipline. I also want to move to the Hamptons and travel. Q: It sounds as if you have a lot of plans. A: If I don’t keep moving, I’ll fall asleep. –Marion Wolberg Weiss See Gia Schifano’s work at giapaints.blogspot.com
Managing Editor: Susan M. Galardi firstname.lastname@example.org
Founder and Executive Editor: Dan Rattiner email@example.com Sections Editor: David Lion Rattiner firstname.lastname@example.org Associate Editor: Stacy Dermont email@example.com Shopping Editor: Maria Tennariello firstname.lastname@example.org Display & Web Sales Executives (631) 537-0500 Catherine Ellams, Karen Fitzpatrick, Jean Lynch, Patti Kraft, Tom W. Ratcliffe III Inside Sales Manager Lori Berger email@example.com Inside Sales Executives (631) 537-4900 Kathy Camarata, Steve Daniel Richard Scalera Art Director Kelly Shelley firstname.lastname@example.org Production Director Genevieve Salamone email@example.com Creative Director Lianne Alcon firstname.lastname@example.org Graphic Designer Gustavo A. Gomez Nadine Cruz email@example.com Webmaster Colin Goldberg firstname.lastname@example.org Business Manager Susan Weber email@example.com Distribution Manager Thomas Swinimer firstname.lastname@example.org
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Contributing Artists And Photographers David Charney, Kimberly Goff, Barry Gordin, Christian McLean, Katlean de Monchy, Richard Lewin, Stephanie Lewin, Michael Paraskevas, Ginger Propper, Tom W. Ratcliffe III, Nancy Pollera
t ec ir D
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Contributing Writers And Editors Roy Bradbrook, Alan Braveman, Patrick Christiano, TJ Clemente, Rich Firstenberg, Janet Flora, Sally Flynn, Bob Gelber, April Gonzales, Barry Gordin, Steve Haweeli, Ken Kindler, Amanda Kludt, Ed Koch, Kelly Krieger, Silvia Lehrer, Christian McLean, Betty Paraskevas, Maria Orlando Pietromonaco, Aline Reynolds, Jenna Robbins, Susan Saiter, David Stoll, Ian Stark, Maria Tennariello, Lenn Thompson, Debbie Tuma, Marion Wolberg Weiss
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DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 11 www.danshamptons.com
Rupert’s Rag Still Another TV Sitcom Going into Production in the Hamptons By Dan Rattiner In what is surely the biggest coup for a local Hamptons newspaper ever, Dan’s Papers is pleased to announce its collaboration with FOX Network for the creation of a new TV sitcom about a mythical new newspaper in the Hamptons called “Rupert’s Rag.” According to the bigwigs at FOX, episodes of “Rupert’s Rag” will be filmed at the offices of Dan’s Papers this summer. During the week, Dan’s Papers will be operating as usual. On the weekends, the place will be crawling with TV directors, actors and cameramen filming a glamorous cast of luminaries who have been hired to “publish” Rupert’s Rag. This new sitcom is definitely in reaction to NBC’s “Beach Lane” newspaper sitcom currently about to go into production at a private home in the Hamptons. According to FOX, NBC stole their idea. FOX had been planning “Rupert’s Rag” for over two years, but because they moved ahead with it at a leisurely pace, NBC beat them to the punch. After that FOX announced they would sue NBC. “But now, instead of suing them,” a spokesperson for FOX said, “we plan to proceed with ‘Rupert’s Rag,’ several episodes of which will involve conflicts with ‘Beach Lane.’ In the end, ‘Rupert’s Rag’ prevails, though, how that happens I am not at liberty to say.” NBC’s “Beach Lane,” produced by Lorne Michaels, will star Matthew Broderick as a famous novelist unfamiliar with newspaper writing, hired to be editor of Beach Lane. It will also star Nick Thune, the comedian, who will play the
role of the rich Manhattan heir who also knows nothing about running a newspaper but thinks it would be fun to publish one in the Hamptons. Also starring in the production will be Kristen Johnston, a regular on “Third Rock from the Sun” who plays the rich publisher’s step sister. “Rupert’s Rag” stars Paris Hilton as the clueless celebrity editor and Scarlett Johansson as the step sister to the rich owner, who will be played by Rupert Murdoch himself. Also in it, in a cameo role, will be longtime
in real life—an important venue for the rich and famous in the New York City community—was far too liberal. Rupert did not, in real life, intend to start a new, more conservative newspaper in the Hamptons to compete with the others. He thought that project too distracting while he begins attacking The New York Times with his Wall Street Journal. Instead, he decided to create a TV show about the mythical but conservative “Rupert’s Paper” in the Hamptons. His lawyers, talked him out of calling it “Rupert’s Papers,” saying Dan’s Papers would sue, so he settled on “Rupert’s Rag” for the name. His younger Vice Presidents told him that calling it a “Rupert’s Rag” sounded “cool.” In the sitcom, Rupert’s Rag will have conservative editors and writers attacking the real Hampton media—and also “Beach Lane” for its biased coverage of all the Wall Street bigwigs who summer there. This, Murdoch felt, would strike a chord at FOX with the Tea Party regulars who watch FOX for all their news and at the same time put a dagger into the chest of the bleeding heart liberals who secretly watch FOX too. After learning of the NBC “Beach Lane” project, FOX, with Murdoch’s approval, added another twist. If “Beach Lane” was to be run by men, incompetent as they might be, “Rupert’s Rag” would be run by smart and savvy women. “Beach Lane,” could feature front and center Nick Thune and Matthew Broderick. “Rupert’s Rag” would have front and center Paris Hilton
FOX had been planning “Rupert’s Rag” for over two years, but NBC beat them to the punch. Dan’s Papers publisher Dan Rattiner. He has been hired by “Rupert’s Rag” to craft poorly written “liberal” articles for that “publication.” During the week, he will be writing articles at the beach wearing his straw hat as he always does, but for the real Dan’s Papers, but on weekends, he will be filmed writing his articles for “Rupert’s Rag,” with his straw hat off and with earmuffs on, since, as he will say, he doesn’t want to hear people telling him he is a turncoat. According to unnamed sources, “Rupert’s Rag” was thought up in 2008 by Rupert Murdoch himself. He felt the existing media in the Hamptons
(continued on page 31)
DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 12 www.danshamptons.com
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The Metropolitan Museum of Art has asked Amagansett’s Sarah Jessica Parker to record an audio guide for their Costume Institute’s annual fashion exhibit. Museum execs thought she was the perfect choice for this year’s theme: “American Woman: Fashioning a National Identity.” * * * East Hampton resident Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks raced against time to save the famous Hollywood sign. The pair had until April 30 to buy the 138 acres where the sign sits before the land was sold to developers. Hugh Hefner chipped in the needed $900,000. * * * “Real Housewives of New York City” star Jill Zarin accidentally locked herself in the greenroom restroom before appearing on fellow Hamptonite Joy Behar’s show. Zarin turned to Twitter for help, and Behar tweeted reassurance that her guest would be liberated before the show, and she was. * * * The Lily Pond landlord who’d been giving renters Michael Satsky, Brian Gefter and Unik a hard time has relented, and the hot nightspot will return this summer. The group received legal support from fellow club runners Noah Tepperberg, David Rabin, Jeffrey Chodorow and Scott Sartiano. * * * Hamptons resident Barry Sonnenfeld confirmed last week that Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones have signed up for Men in Black 3, which will be released in 3D. In this month’s issue of Vogue magazine, Amagansett resident Gwyneth Paltrow reveals that she worries about being too much of a perfectionist. Says Paltrow: “Sometimes I feel like the psycho in Sleeping with the Enemy.” * * * Hamptons residents Edward Burns and wife Christy Turlington recently premiered films at the Tribeca Film Festival. Burns appeared in Nice Guy Johnny, and Turlington made her directorial debut in No Woman, No Cry. * * * Vogue editor William Norwich hosted the opening reception for Southampton artist Dora Frost’s “Peonies” show in New York. Wilbur Ross & Hilary Geary Ross, Ann & Susan Madonia, Michele Isabelle Stark, Brad Shaheen, Doran Mullins, Jere Patterson, Gary Lawrance, Anne Moore, Janet Lehr, Bonnie Alsop and Anna Wilding were among the Hamptonites attending. The elegant reception was catered by the East End’s Pamela Willoughby and Bridget Leroy’s newly launched La Vie Organic and featured local seafood and cheeses. Southampton’s Edward Callaghan and (continued on page 14)
DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 13 www.danshamptons.com
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R i pp
Best Stories from the First 50 Years
LongDistanceSwimmerwillEnterAtlanticatMontaukSurfClub First published in Dan’s Papers Montauk Pioneer, late July 1965 By Dan Rattiner On the afternoon of July 1, the Montauk Surf Club was jammed with people, most of them journalists from the New York papers. And though Britt Sullivan was there, supposedly the heroine of the day, few of the reporters paid any attention to her. They seemed more interested in themselves, the “fashionables” of New York press scene. “How ya doin’ George! Haven’t seen you since the fire in Jersey City.” The Surf Club makes a great boardwalk horseshoe one quarter mile down the beach, and in the beautiful sunshine, the reporters enjoyed sunning themselves in the deck chairs, and downing the free drinks provided by the management. Many hadn’t been out of the confines of the city in weeks. Sullivan meanwhile, in her green bathing suit, paced down near the waterline. Though she sported her cigarette holder at its usual jaunty angle, she seemed more reserved than usual. Perhaps awed. Sullivan talked about her water survival method—something about the ability of concentration—but it was nothing new. It had all been said before in dozens of press releases.
Sullivan sat down on a beach chair and watched as two young men opened a large can, scooped out great hunks of grease with their hands, and basted her with it. Now the photographers came and took pictures, and a few newsmen got up from their chairs at the boardwalk to have a look. Fully covered with grease, Sullivan was something from outer space. She wore swimming goggles, the green swimsuit with a fishing knife tucked in her belt, a regulation Olympic bathing cap, a small watertight packet of pep pills and an agate good luck charm. Everywhere else there were gobs of grease covering her. Arms, legs, neck. She was totally unrecognizable. Then this great beast strode into the water, dove into the first breaker and began swimming a slow powerful stroke. And it dawned on everybody that Sullivan was really going to swim to Manhattan. “It’s probably a big hoax,” one of the newsmen said to another on the boardwalk. “I suppose it is,” the other one said. “Still, we got out for a day at the beach.” The two of them looked out at Sullivan, already becoming a small disturbance on the great ocean. She was swimming alongside a very small boat that would accompany her to
Manhattan. A 21 foot pleasure craft that looked hardly seaworthy for along ocean voyage. Everything looked too small, too unreal. “I hope I can get back to Manhattan by nightfall.” One of the reporters said.
(continued from page 12)
John Wegorzewski of Alchimia Public Relations organized the event * * * Southampton producer Patricia Watt, who was trapped in London after the opening of her critically acclaimed production of Hair, has returned to co-host the 28th Annual Fred and Adele Astaire Awards Nominations with Marysia and Joseph Botkier, Carolyn and Ron Bucther at the famed Elaine’s on May 3. The awards will be given out at the annual gala on June 7 at the Gerald Lynch Theater. * * * Legendary filmmaker Albert Maysles, of Grey Gardens fame, sold his apartment in the fabled Dakota three years ago for $3 million and moved into two brownstones in Harlem. The buyer now has the apartment on the market for $7.65 million—more than a 100% markup.
DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 15 www.danshamptons.com
Buildings, old and new, on Stony Brook Southampton Campus
Saving the College Local Officials Here will Make an Offer that SUNY Can’t Refuse By Dan Rattiner It took about three weeks, but finally last Thursday all our local government leaders got together in one room to see if they could find a way to save Southampton College. Amazingly, they did. This plan, which bears the stamp of approval from Congressman Tim Bishop, State Assemblyman Fred Thiele, State Senator Ken LaValle, County Legislator Jay Schneiderman and Southampton Town Supervisor Anna Throne-Holst, would have the Town of Southampton buy all the development rights for the Southampton College Campus for the $10 million in the Town Community Preservation Fund. (This is the money collected as a 2% tax on all real estate transactions over $250,000 in the town.) This would equal, as it turns out, the money SUNY Stony Brook says it would lose if it were to keep Southampton College open for the next two years. With this money it could remain open. After two years, SUNY Stony Brook would be
asked to spin off Southampton College. Southampton College, with the Town controlling the development rights, would then be run as a college in the SUNY system independent of SUNY Stony Brook. The Chancellor of Southampton College would report to Albany. But this Chancellor would be someone local, making decisions in the interests of Southampton College, not the interests of SUNY Stony Brook. The idea for this extraordinary solution to halt the closing of Southampton College came from Southampton Town Supervisor Throne-Holst. The CPF for Southampton Town has been in place for 10 years. During the 10 years, especially during the recent real estate boom, the tax money flying into this fund has been astronomic. In some years, it has brought in as much as $25 million, The entire town budget for Southampton for the year is only about $75 million. The money collected by this tax must be spent to purchase and preserve land in Southampton
Town. It can be used to purchase the development rights to land. And it can be used to purchase either vacant land or land with buildings on it deemed important enough to be saved. In recent years, so much money has come in and so many purchases have been made that the Town Board has complained they have virtually run out of large parcels of land to spend it on. Under these circumstances, the money in this fund has just sat there, almost unused, for the past two years. (It has been borrowed for other things, but that’s another story. It is being returned.) According to Throne-Holst, a reading of the rules of this fund has revealed that indeed, the 82 acres that comprise Southampton College are eligible to be saved. It is a large piece of open land with some buildings on it—the very last piece that size in town—and it looks out over the ocean. A plus is that the school’s mission is to make the students experts in the field of global sustainability. Southampton College is the only (continued on page 26)
SPRINGTIME CHAT WITH RESTAURATEUR JEAN LUC By Dan Rattiner As you drive around the Hamptons this spring, it’s apparent that there are many stores and restaurants that, due to hard times, still remain dark. Some of them are operated by nationwide chains that have abandoned plans to put showcase stores in the Hamptons. Others are longtime mom and pop stores that, after one bad year in 2009, just can’t make it into 2010.
There is one man, however, a restaurateur, who is responsible for the closing of four eating establishments in the Hamptons—two in Sag Harbor (both on Main Street), one in Southampton on Elm Street and one in East Hampton on the Montauk Highway just to the west of town. All went dark during high season during 2009, many of them very publicly and in spectacular fashion. And all of them had been owned by a man known as Jean Luc, who also owned a restaurant in
Manhattan and another in Princeton, New Jersey that have also gone dark. He has been the cause, or the victim, in all six going under with none rising from the ashes. And he is sadder and wiser today. I caught up with Ed Kleefield the other day by cell phone. Ed Kleefield is, in fact, the real name of Jean Luc, you may be surprised to learn. And it was Ed Kleefield, in the middle (continued on page 30)
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Google Me Look at Me—Film Star, Mystery Novelist, Rock Star and More By Dan Rattiner A friend showed me how to get an alert on my email whenever my name shows up anywhere on the Internet. If you have a big ego, as I do, this is a wonderful thing. It’s “Dan Rattiner this and Dan Rattiner that.” I’m right up there with President Obama and J. Lo. At least on my computer. I love my computer. The other day, for example, an alert showed up—alert! alert!—that said I was on a site called delpanantika.com. I clicked on the link. delpanantika.com is something pretty important, or at least I think it is. Under the headline at the top of the page with that name it said Blog Seputar Info dan Tips Cara Hidup Sehat. Under
that it said Hebat!! HP Bisa Menghasilkan Jutaan Rupiah, pemula. Then there was all this stuff, in English, about Dan Rattiner. There was Daniel Rattiner celebrates his book at Oso, there was a thing to click on that said Watch Movies with Daniel Rattiner (2 total) and there was something you could click on that read Daniel Rattiner, with the explanations Actor: Cyclops in 2008. Visit IMDb for Photos, Filmography, Discussions, Bio, News, Awards, Agent, Fan Sites. I liked that. I actually had a speaking part in the movie Cyclops. My wife’s son was working as an intern for Declan O’Brien, the famous horror movie director, and O’Brien sent him to a movie set on
a hill just outside of Sofia, Bulgaria where a film starring Eric Roberts was being made about ancient Rome and a killer giant Cyclops. As a lark we flew there for the weekend, but wound up in the film in a crowd scene in the coliseum. I play a Senator. I stand up in crowd and my line is “Get on with it,” trying to get some boring speaker to get on with it. And I’m in the credits. Now I’m famous. Then there was the lawsuit on the site delpanantika.com. The link to click on is 814F.2d.839, and under it, it reads “Daniel RATTINER, et al., Defendants, Appellees. No 86-1032. United (continued on next page)
NEW YORK STATE PICKS A FIGHT IT CAN’T WIN By Dan Rattiner There’s a whole lot of fish in the ocean off our shores patiently waiting to find out who will be allowed to catch them and who not. It’s been a matter that’s been up in the air since one year ago when New York State passed a law that said anybody throwing a fishing line into the ocean in this state would have to have a State permit to do so. You may not have thought much about this, but the fact is that until now there are no laws on the books to make a private individual get a license to do just about anything in the ocean. You can swim in it, surf in it, hang glide in it, snorkel in it, scuba dive in it, even pee in it if you have a mind to do that. The ocean is for everyone. That is not to say you are free to break the law in the ocean. You can’t try to drown somebody in it. You can’t mess with an endangered
species in it. You can’t swim outside of the designated areas if you are at a beach where there’s a lifeguard. But nowhere is a license required to simply go into the ocean or take from the bounty of the ocean for your own personal use. Then came last Spring. And the new law. Oddly, along the southern shoreline of Long Island, which is the only place in the state that there is an ocean, people from Brookhaven to New York City meekly obeyed this law. Southampton and East Hampton were another matter. Along the stretch from Westhampton Beach to Montauk, the trustees of these two townships filed a lawsuit against the state salt water fishing license. Also joining in the lawsuit was the Town of Southold. Southold may not be along the ocean, but the beaches of Long Island Sound are salty as well and the law applies all along the north shore of
the Island too. Or does it? Well, the towns for the first 90 miles from New York City along the north shore agreed to the fishing license requirement. For the last 20 miles, Southold did not. The three towns’ objections came in the form of a demand for a preliminary injunction to prevent the State from enforcing their law. Backing it up was the claim by these three groups of trustees that they alone in the State of New York had the right to regulate the laws about saltwater fishing in their towns. Be aware of this. These trustees were not members of some board created by these townships. Townships in New York State, including Southold, Southampton and East Hampton, are run by a Town Board composed of Town Councilmen. No. These trustees were an (continued on page 34)
DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 18 www.danshamptons.com (continued from previous page)
States Court of Appeals,…Examining the statement in the co. (…)” I anxiously clicked on 814F.2d.839 but it went nowhere. The link was broken. The U.S. Court of Appeals. Wow! Another day, I got an alert telling me I should go to barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/pfp.asp?ean=97 81579. When I went there, I discovered I was the coauthor of a novel entitled The Last Days of Il Duce. It was right there in black and, um, white. My fellow author was Domenic Stansberry. I neither know Stansberry, nor have I ever written a book called The Last Days of Il Duce, either with him or without him. But there it was, for sale, at Barnes&Noble.com. Apparently, however, it was quite an effort our
writing this thing. “(This) novel tells the story of Niccolo Jones, a broken-down man plagued by his obsession with his brother Joe’s ex-wife Marie. Set in the old Italian neighborhood of North Beach in San Francisco, the novel flashes back and forth between their childhood days in the 1950s and events 30 years later. Nick’s story begins when Joe is murdered, igniting in Nick an unquenchable desire for revenge…” I did write a book entitled In the Hamptons published by Random House two years ago. And I have a sequel coming out entitled In the Hamptons Too in June of this year. But The Last Days of Il Duce? I have no recollection of writing that whatsoever. Damn Ambien. I did go with Jim Monaco several years ago up to WLIU-FM when it had its studios on the
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Southampton College campus. He produced some CDs of me reading short stories I had published in Dan’s Papers. Sound effects were later dubbed in. Jim is marketing these relentlessly, and his efforts occasionally show up as an Alert! Alert! on my email. One of them is Dan Rattiner Discography of CDS. Along the right are the current top sellers—Freight Train by Alan Jackson was number one that week, 2. was Raymond v. Raymond by Usher, 3 was Valleys of Neptune by Jimi Hendrix. Whatever this site is, these were the top sellers. There’s a photo of the album sleeves of the two of my CDs and there is an explanation next to them and their current price—$11.39. You can “click on price to add Dan Rattiner albums to cart” and down below there is a heading DAN RATTINER SONGS with this explanation. “Popular or famous Dan Rattiner music songs: Below the Belt, Chicken Business, Clear Your Plate!, Coca-Cola Dakota, Dentistry, Don’t Steal Our Storm!, Einstein Explained, Email Race, ‘Enjoy,’ $5 Wonder Watch, General Lexmark, House Call, House on the Rampage, Inherit the Animals. More music songs are, It Happened, New Zealand’s Sheep-Gas Defense, Other Gods, Proboscis, Replay Justice, and See the Whale. Well, this is real anyway. The Internet is a wonderful thing. In conclusion, I would like to say Anda Dicarikan Downline Dan Pasti Sukses, Hanya 50rb, program bisnis, penghasil, uang tomatis. And Merry Christmas to you all.
DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 19 www.danshamptons.com
Half of a Film is Shot in EH Oceanfront Mansion By David Lion Rattiner Every year, more filmmakers discover the pleasure of shooting in the Hamptons. This past weekend, in a multi-million dollar mansion on the ocean in East Hampton, half of an independent movie was filmed. It’s all part of writer/director Sam Neave’s vision for his film Almost in Love starring Leslie Lewis Sword and Alan Cumming, about a love triangle occurring between sunrise and sunset. Sitting down with the cast on a gorgeous Spring day was like an episode of the HBO series “Entourage.” The setting is one of the most gorgeous homes here. We were all “on set,” poolside. Marjan Neshat, Sam Neave, Leslie Sword, Alan Cumming Leslie Lewis Sword, the owner of the home and a co-star in Almost in Love, is strikingly ing a movie with theater at heart. In this case, I beautiful, Harvard educated, with a Masters in spend so much of the entire take basically hidFine Arts from UCLA. With a radiant smile and love for the industry, she showed me around the house. It was surreal. The house was inhabited by movie editors, cameramen and actors, all looking extremely exhausted, as they had just finished filming through the night. Sword’s home, transformed into a movie set, is a stone’s throw away from Steven Spielberg’s vacation house. Throughout the house were scattered lighting and other types of equipment, and what looked like the spoils of a wrap party, lots of empty beer and booze bottles. As if on cue, Sword smiled and said, “The empty bottles are part of the set, you don’t have to worry.” Along the tour, Sword said something about the film that is simply unheard of. “What’s interesting about this movie is that it’s shot in two 45 minute takes, and that’s it. It’s definitely not easy. There’s an unbelievable amount of preparation and rehearsal.” Neave, raised in England of Iranian descent, discussed his desire to film a story over the course of a sunrise to sunset. “There’s something about having a movie all happen in one encapsulating breath. What’s funny about filming this movie in two 45 minute takes is that I make my living as a movie editor, but it’s sort of like mak-
ing, and making sure that these guys can nail it, and with their theater backgrounds, with most of them having been classically trained in theater, they have been able to pull it off.” In addition to getting the job done, Neave and his young group of filmmakers, got an A-lister, Alan Cumming, involved in Almost in Love. “It’s been a magnificent project to be a part of. To have Alan Cumming be involved is fantastic,” said Sword. “All of us have extensive theatrical experience. Since the takes are so long, that was key to the film working.” Cumming (recently in the role of the Nightcrawler in X-Men) was all smiles about the project. The quirky actor, who (continued on page 22)
DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 20 www.danshamptons.com
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This Saturday, May 1, the public is invited to gather in Southampton to push for the passage of Comprehensive Immigration Reform, with the goal to make America a safe home for all. Sponsored by Neighbors in Support of Immigrants (NISI), this peaceful rally, NISI’s first, will feature speeches by Rev. Jack King from the Southampton Anti-Bias Task Force, Myrna Truitt representing the Unitarian Social Justice Committee, Luis Valenzuela from the Long Island Immigrant Alliance, and others. NISI believes that our immigration system is broken. As the current legislation and approach mismatches employment needs through restrictive work visas, families are split apart. As the system gives rise to an exploitative shadow economy, it thwarts the economic growth of both Americans and undocumented workers. The group’s immigration reform goals are to keep families together, provide legal paths to permanent residency and citizenship, protect the safety and welfare of both American and immigrant workers, enhance security and safety at the borders, and allocate visas in a depoliticized system responsive to our economy. NISI was founded in January 2009 by Hampton Bays’ Sylvia Baruch, a volunteer with immigrant populations for years. Contrary to the perception of immigrants as criminals, Baruch says she has found immigrants to be “very hardworking and family-oriented,” adding that undocumented workers cut our grass, fix our roofs, care for our children and support the East End’s economy and status. NISI, already with more than 70 people, stresses education in its work. To learn more: NISI blog, supportimmigrants.blogspot.com. Neighbors Supporting Immigrant Reform Rally. Saturday, May 1, 12:30 p.m. Lola Prentice Park (next to the Rogers Memorial Library), Windmill Lane, Southampton.
(continued from page 19)
comes across with pure charm and an aura of experience, became sold on the project after seeing the first 45 minutes of the film shot in New York. “When I saw the first part of the project, I immediately wanted to get involved. It really is that good,” said Cumming. “Sam Neave’s a very talented filmmaker. The challenge of doing two 45-minutes takes is just crazy, it’s just purely nuts. I really wanted to try out that intense experience.” Cumming said the East End had little to do with his decision to get involved with this film, but he added “But it’s quite lovely here. There is an incredible amount of history and the contrast between the city and the Hamptons is remarkable, considering how close they are.” Cumming recently won an award in Boston that he was unable to attend and headed down to the beach to make a video acceptance speech with a digital camera. “I’m going to tell them that I can’t make it, but look where I am!” he said as he panned the ocean with his hand. When completed, Almost in Love is expected to appear in the major film festivals around the country. Be on the lookout this October. With the star location, homegrown talent and A-listers, it just might make its was into the Hamptons International Film Festival.
DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 23 www.danshamptons.com
DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 24 www.danshamptons.com
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The Psychic World Convenes at Gurney’s
By T.J. Clemente When Thomas Paine wrote, “These are the times that try men’s souls,” in his pamphlet Common Sense back in the 1770s he could have been talking about today. That was evident by the turnout of well over 400 people who journeyed out last Saturday to Montauk’s Gurney’s Inn Resort, Spa and Conference Center to attend the Second Annual “Psychic and Holistic Living Fair, ” the brainchild of Phyllis Lomitola, Gurney’s Conference Sales Director. With first hand experience with both psychics and the ideas of holistic living, she teamed with Neil and Andrea Garvey, Long Island Publishers of Creations Magazine, to produce the event. A national phenomenon, the psychic world is one of the true growth industries in the United States, although there are no annual sales numbers yet due to the complexity of the small, oneperson business model. Gurney’s Conference Center held 40 tables, manned by representatives of national chains, local businesses and individual psychics. Massages were given on portable tables, exotic oils were marketed, tarot cards were read, and all manner of information about holistic living was handed out. I stopped at the table of Kathleen Mulligan and Brit Martin, representatives of the SQWellness-Rising Star Healing System, channeled by psychotherapist and healer Derek O’Neil, of Ireland. They were at the event to present the “healing symbol, Prema Agri.” At another table, Denise Cooke, a Registered
Nurse/Licensed Massage able to transfer tremendous Therapist explained her speamounts of healing energies cialties of sports massage and into people, even over long distrigger point therapy for athtances. He provides in-person letes, musicians and active peoand long distance ple. She also gave demonstra“Transformational Spiritual tions of her skills. Healing Sessions.” Representatives of the Crystal A very busy table was that of Reflection Store stood at the psychic medium and author entrance, pitching five reasons Cindi Sansone-Braff, voted to go on a Crystal Reflections Long Island’s Leading Psychic Cindi Sansone-Braff Retreat at Lake Sabago, just (with John Edwards) by a leadoutside Manhattan. Nearby was a table about ing Long Island publication. In addition to her the Emergence of Maitreya, the world teacher famous tarot card readings, she sold her ultimate who will help you to “discover for yourself the relationship book Grant Me a Higher Love, spiritual meaning behind UFOs, flying saucers which has already sold 8,000 copies. and crop circles, along with the absolute need to Lorraine Recchia touted her “intuitive” angelend war and poverty.” readings skills. She builds relationships based on The East End Holistic Wellness Center of information she channels through “our angels, Riverhead showcased some of their therapies while focusing on personal empowerment.” including permanent weight loss, anti-aging “Angels are pure light of unconditional love, and strategies, chelation therapy, herbal medicine, along with you, they create miracles,” she said. vitamin therapy, nutritional counseling as well In practice since 1987 and presenting at the as intravenous treatments. From Islip was psy- fair was Montauk’s own Elizabeth Willoughby of chic medium Katherine Mitchell promoting her Planetary Reflexology, specializing in feet-handsforum “Enlightenment,” in which attendees will ears. Nearby was the table of Melissa Mahoney “experience the tools to awaken the understand- (also of Montauk) presenting unique jewelry ing and responsibilities to ourselves and others.” designs of her business Zoe Jade & Co. Then there was Jordan S. Walker, a licensed Positive energy filled the room during this spiritual healer and health coach who experi- event. On the finest of Spring days, a steady enced a miraculous transformational healing crowd circulated through the conference room, from a chronic degenerative condition that smiling even as they paid the $5 entry fee. plagued him for more then a decade. He has dis- Phyllis Lomitola called the event, “a growing, covered that he has abilities, one of which is to be total success.”
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DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 26 www.danshamptons.com
Saving the College
(continued from page 15)
college in the nation to have this mission, and to back it up with bachelors and masters degrees to be earned. The State University, five years ago, purchased these 65 acres for $35 million. During the next four years, SUNY sunk $25 million into the campus in restoring, rebuilding and adding onto the physical plant of the campus. Then, this year, as you surely know, they pulled the plug. With the school still two years away from profitability, it became a prime target for abandonment by those running Stony Brook University. The SUNY system needs to cut its budget by over $200 million in 2011. In particular, SUNY Stony Brook University, the largest in the system, would need to cut $64 million. The new President, a physician named Samuel L. Stanley Jr., is making painful decisions. On April 8, he announced he would stop the new kid in town from growing up. Other than two buildings and two degree programs, one in Marine Science and one in Creative Writing, everything else would be shut down. This would include 20 other buildings and nearly a 100 other courses. It would also include all the students who currently live on campus. All the momentum of Southampton College would be brought to a halt. And the end would come just four months from now, in September. It is a fact that five years ago, State Senator La Valle and State Assemblyman Thiele gave unparalleled assistance to then-Stony Brook President Shirley Strum Kenny to enable her to create this unique campus. Frankly, it was
expected to take a full seven years under the wing of SUNY Stony Brook to bring it to profitability. After that, in the back of everybody’s mind, was the idea that Southampton College would stand on its own as a separate but equal college in the SUNY University system. According to the recent calculations done by Dr. Stanley, mothballing Southampton College would save $6.5 million a year. He says he cannot see bringing this college back onto its development track anytime soon. It has also been reported, but not confirmed, that he has said that even if someone gave him the $6.5 million to keep the place open, he would not do it. It was simply not a viable enterprise in, not only hard times, but in good times. Now Dr. Stanley is going to be given the $6.5 million. All he has to do is accept it. He says the transition to close the school is well underway. The first order of business was to offer all 850 students at Southampton the option to take their courses at Stony Brook University rather than at Southampton and that has been done. According to the good doctor, half of those accorded this option have taken him up on it. Of course, they really had no choice. They had all already paid their tuition to SUNY Stony Brook for their fall semester at Southampton. If their tuition money was returned to them quickly, they could use it to attend another school. But time is short. And there’s a lot of paperwork that has to be done to get the money back. Under the circumstances, the real options were only to either to take up the offer and attend SUNY Stony Brook 50 miles away, or not attend college at all this year. So no
wonder a good number of them have accepted this offer. Is it too late to save the school? Has there already, in just these three weeks, been too much water under the dam? A rational person would say not. A rigid administrator, even having the money handed to him on a platter, might say it’s too late. Is the concept of an independent Southampton College viable? Very. Using the CPF money has passed legal review. The other councilmen say they are for it. The college would stay alive. It would tighten its budget. It would offer its full load of courses. And it would embark on a strong recruiting program to get new students. Two years from now, with determination and luck but still under SUNY, the school would have gone through the CPF funds but would now be at break even. Southampton College would be ready to stand on its own. Assemblyman Thiele said he thinks the Assembly would support this effort. Senator LaValle said the project will work. Congressman Bishop says this is an offer that the State cannot refuse. County Representative Schneiderman says it’s impossible for the State to turn this down. And Supervisor Throne-Holst says the State has badly underestimated the determination of the Townspeople to keep this school open even through a downturn in the economy. This is the Real Thing. Get behind it. SUNY Stony Brook has nothing to lose but what they say they are already about to abandon. They cannot refuse such an offer. We await developments.
One from Column A... Ground has been broken on the long-awaited restoration of The Nathaniel Rogers House, at the corner of Montauk Highway and Ocean Road in Bridgehampton. In a joint effort, Southampton Town, New York State and private donations are funding this $4.5 million restoration project, under the stewardship of the Bridgehampton Historical Society. This first phase of restoration involves the removal and storage of the ornamental columns, that happened this week. Provided that donations continue steadily, the complete restoration of this circa 1840 Greek Revival mansion may be completed within two years. The restored site will house the new Bridgehampton Historical Society offices, archive and exhibition spaces.
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DAN'S PAPERS, April 30, 2010 Page 27 www.danshamptons.com
By Dan Rattiner Week of April 30 â€“ May 6, 2010 Riders this week: 5,812 Rider miles this week: 77,433 HAPPY BIRTHDAY Today is the birthday of Garth Cannon, one of the members of our beloved wall scrubber team. These are the people who between 2 and 5 in the morning, when the system is shut down for maintenance, clean and hose down the tiles on the walls at all the subway platforms and tunnels on the system which is why you always see them so sparkling clean. Happy Birthday Garth. And Happy Scrubbing to you. SOUTH FORK SUBWAY? Members of the Montauk Merchant Association have petitioned Hampton Subway Commissioner Bill Aspinall to consider changing the name of the Hampton Subway to the South Fork Subway. â€œSome people get confused about taking the subway to Montauk,â€? Association President Carol Haffenhoffen wrote. â€œThey think that because Montauk does not have the word â€˜Hamptonâ€™ in it, they think they have to get off the Hampton Subway in East Hampton and then walk to another subway system to get to Montauk. Amagansett also feels the same way as Montauk does since they donâ€™t have the word â€˜Hamptonâ€™ in their name either.â€? The commissioner has been asking straphangers and employees if they think this is a good idea but he has so far gotten nowhere. â€œMontauk is just a big bunch of crybabies,â€? one straphanger told him. â€œThereâ€™s a reason theyâ€™re not a Hampton. Get a life, guys.â€? â€œIf we change the name to South Fork,â€? another straphanger said, â€œmany people wonâ€™t know where the Hamptons is.â€? Amagansett, it turns out, was contacted by Mrs. Haffenhoffen on the matter, but contrary to what was written, Amagansett officials said they were a Hampton. â€œItâ€™s just not in the name,â€? one official told the Hampton Subway newsletter reporter when asked, â€œbut itâ€™s there.â€? GETTING SOME SUN Money is being sought from the federal government to fund a new Hampton Subway Program which will allow subway cars to come to the surface of the earth at certain points so riders can get a little sun as the trains make their way around the system. At these locations, the subway tracks will raise up to just 10 feet below the surface so a glass roof constructed on the surface can be opened and passengers permitted for a few seconds to get some sunshine. These sunshine points will be in Napeague one mile west of â€œLunch,â€? in Shinnecock Hills just to the west of the College and the Reservation, and in Noyac just to the west of Trout Pond. Commissioner Aspinall, who is requesting this funding, has applied to the â€œShovel Readyâ€? department of the Department of Public Works. â€œThe Hamptons is a great resort,â€? the Commissioner said upon making the announcement. â€œPeople donâ€™t come out here to just go underground. And Vitamin E is good for you. I mean Vitamin D. Whatever.â€?
Aspinall says that if the application is rejected he has a Plan B. Tanning studio cars will be offered on every train. And alongside the tracks at numerous locations to be determined, there will be brightly lit tableaus of beach scenes created by local artists and sculptors. â€œBut thatâ€™s only if Obama doesnâ€™t go along with this,â€? he said. COMMISSIONER ASPINALLâ€™S MESSAGE Changing the name of Hampton Subway to South Fork Subway is ridiculous. If we did that, there are so many things we would have to
change. Weâ€™d have to change all the signage, weâ€™d have to repaint the names on all the cars, weâ€™d have to get the towns to re-do all their street signs that point to the Hampton Subway stop entrances. It would cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. And then, if we did this, we would be limiting ourselves to cover just the South Fork. Weâ€™ve got a spur right now under construction going up to Foxwoods. Everybody up there knows where the Hamptons is. Nobody up there knows where the South Fork is. And what if we put a stop in on the North Fork on the way to Foxwoods? Would we have to change the name to the â€œSouth and North Fork and Foxwoods Subway System?â€? I think we will not do this. Montauk should just think of itself as a Hampton. That would be so much easier.