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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 4 www.danshamptons.com


OPEN HOUSES : Sat. March 27 th through Sun. March 28 th AMAGANSETT

HAMPTONBAYS

SAGAPONACK

6DW 6XQ ǧ$030 0RQWDXN+LJKZD\ǧ

6DWǧ30 5RPDQD'ULYHǧ

6DWǧ30 5DQFK&RXUWǧ

Sea Crest on the Ocean. Your summer getaway on the Atlantic......1 BR, 1.5 BAs, great light, super breezes, community pool and tennis. Roll back the clocks on pricing. Co-Excl. F#69789, F#69788, F#69748, F#69791, F#69787.

Exceptional bayfront contemporary w/ stunning open bay view. Deepwater dock. Bright and airy open oor plan w/ soaring cathedral ceiling. F#71627 | Web#H50633

Secluded 4 BR, 2.5 BA traditional-style home accented by hardwood oors, den, family room, basement, pool and 2-car garage. Co-Excl. F#246071 | Web#H42639

+DPSWRQ%D\V2IČŠFH

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(DVW +DPSWRQ 2IČŠFH 

6DWǧ30 7LDQD&LUFOHǧ

BELLE TERRE &DOOIRUDSULYDWHVKRZLQJǧ3ULFH8SRQ5HTXHVW Sophisticated, elegant, thoughtful are a few words to describe this spectacular waterview home. The quality is the result of the world’s ďŹ nest materials along with great attention to detail. This understated craftsman’s-style home has touches of modern & traditional, offering 2 master suites, theatre, pool, gym & westerly facing views of a deep water harbor. Private golf & tennis 5 min. away. Web# *1072269

$OH[LD 3RXORV  &DURO $FNHU 

BRIDGEHAMPTON

Rampasture Point Beachfront. Raised ranch on cul-de-sac with private beach. 4 BR, 2 BA beauty with amazing views. Open oor plan for the living room, dining room and kitchen with breakfast bar. New Ironwood Deck. Walk-out basement. F#64177 | Web#H14452.

4XRJXH2IČŠFH

6DWǧ30 5LYHUGDOH'ULYHǧ This home has been fully renovated with all luxury features and high end materials throughout. Brazilian cherry oor, marble BA, Jacuzzi, granite kitchen, and more. Lovely landscaped shy half acre with gunite pool. Surrounded by tall privacy hedges. Convenient to bay and ocean beaches. F#68840 | Web#H27369

+DPSWRQ %D\V 2IČŠFH 

6DWǧ30 6XQ9DOOH\ǧ

6DWǧ30 6FXWWOHKROH5RDGǧ Breathtaking views of vineyard and ag reserve. Centrally located, this 4 BR, 3.5 BA traditional is located just minutes from Bridgehampton, Water Mill, Sag Harbor and ocean beaches. Also available $90,000 MD\LD. F#248393 | Web#H67703.

6DJ+DUERU2IČŠFH

2 Houses for the price of one! 7 rooms plus attic which is partially ďŹ nish and has 2 skylights can be 2 additional rooms. The separate accessory cottage has 2 rooms and a loft. Both the structures share a lovely patio. .70 acres and 272ft. of frontage. F#63315 | Web#H54783.

4XRJXH2IČŠFH

6DWǧ$030 3HPEURNH'ULYHǧ The gated entrance and extensive landscaping affords ideal privacy within East Hampton’s Clearwater Beach private community. From front to back this .43 acre property has it all. Encased in mature landscaping the gray stone walkways and IPE decking. Excl. F#71410 | Web#H49346.

(DVW+DPSWRQ2IČŠFH

Charming 2 BR, 1 BA ranch in a wonderful neighborhood, located south of the highway. This move-in condition home features eat-in kitchen, hardwood oors and basement. Convenient to beaches, town, and transportation. Right style, right comforts, right price! F#67601 | Web#H14343.

+DPSWRQ%D\V2IČŠFH

6DWǧ$030 +HGJHV$YHǧ This 3 BR, 2 BA home has been beautifully renovated to satisfy any new homeowners needs. Located at the very end of a culde-sac in a quiet neighborhood has reserves bordering the property on the other side. Close to the village. This house has an eat-in kitchen, central air, and all new appliances. New Heated pool, very private. F#60934 | Web# H14866.

%ULGJHKDPSWRQ2IČŠFH

6XQǧ30 %DUFOD\'ULYHǧ

6XQǧ30 'HODYDQ6WUHHWǧ

First-rate gated community in North Haven. First-quality craftsmanship features 6 BRs, 4.5 BAs, ďŹ replace, formal dining and living rooms, great room, chef’s kitchen, and more. Pool and community tennis on over 1.5 acres of landscaped property. Excl. F#64868 | Web#H53089.

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6DWǧ30 $UFKLEDOG:D\ǧ

6XQǧ30 *DUGLQHUV/DQHǧ

2-story post modern on quiet cul-de-sac with 6 BRs, 4.5 BAs, guest suite, hardwood oors, ofďŹ ce, guest quarters and ďŹ replace. Set on .50 acre with pool, 2-car garage and basement. Excl. F#64147 | Web#H13060

Very spacious lot, less than half a mile to Three Mile Harbor has a full 240 ft. of road frontage, with no neighbors able to build behind you. Excl. F#342362 | Web#H52

%ULGJHKDPSWRQ2IČŠFH

6DWǧ30 3XODVNL6WUHHWǧ

4XRJXH2IČŠFH

Circa 1930’s cottage renovated and expanded, maintaining character of the era. 4 large BRs, 3 BAs, living room, formal dining room, expansive kitchen/great room. Covered rear porch, heated gunite pool, garage. Desirable village location. Excl. F#55036 | Web#H0155036.

MONTAUK 6DW 6XQ ǧ$030 2OG0RQWDXN+LJKZD\ǧ)URP0WR0 Panoramic View offers 68 residences, ranging in size from 1,200 to 6,500sf., set on 10 oceanfront acres with 1,000ft. of beachfront, concierge service, porters, beach and pool attendants, on-site housekeeping. F#67395 | Web#H20840.

(DVW+DPSWRQ2IČŠFH

NORTHSEA Turn Key - 7 separate units - completely and newly renovated. One studio unit. Each of 6 units has a living room, separate BR, BA with sink, toilet & shower, and kitchen with new stainless steel appliances; 2-zone electric heat, separately metered. New roofs, siding and windows. Approximately .3 acre. Solid and stable tenancy. SigniďŹ cant net proďŹ t. Best deal of its kind! F#71744 | Web#51799

A 5 acre waterfront estate that exempliďŹ es better living through design. Gracing white sand beaches & offering water views from each room, this 6000+ sq ft beach house is complete with a pool, sauna, wine room, walkout basement, 5 ďŹ replaces, 5 car garage, room for all athletic courts & horses. 60 miles from NYC. Web# 2251458.

$OH[LD 3RXORV  &DURO $FNHU 

(DVW+DPSWRQ2IČŠFH

Adorable 3 BR provides a bright and immaculate living space, including a family room, kitchen with dining area, and two BAs. Situated on a landscaped .25-acre property with room for a pool. Located in a quiet area. Excl. F#53050 | Web#H0153050.

%ULGJHKDPSWRQ2IČŠFH

&DOOIRUDSULYDWHVKRZLQJǧ3ULFH8SRQ5HTXHVW

This newly constructed 6,500 sq. ft. shingled Traditional is a marvel of form, function and design. Featuring beautiful waterviews, this exquisitely detailed home boasts 6 BRs, 6 full BAs and 2 half BAs. Excl. F#56006 | Web#H0156006.

SOUTHAMPTON 6DW 6XQ ǧ30 0RQWDXN+LJKZD\ǧ This c.1930’s Scandinavian-style house was built by Norwegian craftsmen and restored by European artisans with every attention to detail. This historic Nordic house has unique features and perfectly incorporates carved wood and stone together. The 3.5 acre parcel on Shinnecock Hills affords both privacy and bayviews. F#69960 | Web#H32686

+DPSWRQ%D\V2IČŠFH

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6XQ30 3DUULVK3RQG&RXUW:HVWǧ

6DWǧ30 'HQLVRQ5RDGǧ A tempting ďŹ nd on very private .50 acre with English-style 4 BR, 3 BA home featuring ďŹ replace, Hardwood ooring, gourmet kitchen, formal dining room and pool. Excl. F#60661 | Web#H48549

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YOUR SOURCE

FOR ALL THINGS REAL ESTATE

6DWǧ30 %HOORZV&RXUWǧ

Country Pointe Woods. Mint and elegant 2 BR, 2 BA condo. Common charges $235. Living room with sliders to private patio, eat-in kitchen, en-suite master BR on ďŹ rst oor. 2nd  has 2 rooms used as 1 plus full BA. Basement, garage. F#71124

OLDFIELD

6XQǧ30 %DUFOD\'ULYHǧ

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SAG HARBOR

Brand new traditional on .37 of an acre with all the bells and whistles. Featuring 4 BRs, 5.5 BAs. Open oor plan with gourmet kitchen, formal dining room, breakfast room, large living room & much more. F#63841 | Web#H16014

Newly renovated and includes hardwood oors, top-of-the-line appliances, master suite with 2 full BAs, all BRs en-suite and ďŹ replace. 5 full BAs, ofďŹ ce with coffered ceilings, built-in sound system. Co-Excl. F#45573 | Web#H0145573

6DW 6XQ ǧ30 1RUWK6HD5RDGǧ

6DWǧ30 5LYHUGDOH'ULYHǧ

EASTHAMPTON

MANORVILLE

6DWǧ30 3XODVNL6WUHHWǧ

%ULGJHKDPSWRQ2IČŠFH

6DWǧ30 %ODFNZDWFK&RXUWǧ MagniďŹ cent bay views on 1 acre of lush landscaping. Very private, 5,000sf. 3-story home with LR, EIK, FDR and ďŹ rst oor master plus 4 add’l BR, 2 fplcs, heated gunite pool, gazebo. Five minutes to Southampton Village, loads of beaches and marinas to choose from. F#70224 | Web#H35816.

6RXWKDPSWRQ2IČŠFH

6DWǧ30 %ULGLHV3DWKǧ Nestled in a cul-de-sa c with gentle rolling hills and privacy. Centrally located in heart of Hamptons. Contemporary with 4 BRs, 2 full BAs, living room with large picture window, ďŹ replace, skylit eat-in kitchen, cathedral ceilings. Deck overlooking country setting. Excl. F#70647 | Web#H40913

6DJ+DUERU2IČŠFH

WATERMILL 6DWǧ30 1R\DF3DWKǧ Estate home with 8,000sf., 7 BRs, 8.5 BAs. Quality custom designed home by master builder for the discriminating buyer. Luscious grounds includes everything for entertaining, pool, tennis and separate 2,000sf. guest cottage. 6.8M. Excl. F#42200 | Web#H0142200.

%ULGJHKDPSWRQ2IČŠFH

6XQǧ30 0HFR[5RDGǧ Traditional-style SOH home. Expert details & amenities. include 6 BRs, 6.5 BAs, 4 ďŹ replaces. Professional kitchen w/fplc, adjacent screened-in porch & stone patio. Finished basement. 20x40 gunite pool. 2-car garage. Bordered by reserve. Excl. F#57953 | Web#H0157953.

%ULGJHKDPSWRQ2IČŠFH

6DWǧ30 )RXUWHHQ+LOOV&RXUWǧ Privately situated on over three acres, with beautiful panoramic waterviews across Great Peconic Bay to the North Fork and even Connecticut. The 5,000sf. Victorian was completed in 2000, and has many delightful features and room for tennis. Also for rent, $100,000/summer. Excl. F#249594 | Web#H51783.

(DVW+DPSWRQ2IČŠFH

New 5 BR 4.5 BA Traditional. Spacious great room, secluded den, library, family room, formal dining room. 3 ďŹ replaces heated gunite pool, 3 car garage. 6,000 sq.ft. of living space on 1.4 acres. Classic hospitality. Exclusive. F#62298 | Web#H35715

%ULGJHKDPSWRQ2IČŠFH

P RU D E N T I A L E L L I M A N C O M 1196859

Š2010. An independently owned and operated member of Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc. is a service mark of Prudential Insurance Company of America. Equal Housing Opportunity. All material presented herein is intended for information purposes only. While, this information is believed to be correct, it is represented subject to errors, omissions, changes or withdrawal without notice. All property outlines and square footage in property listings are approximate.


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 4 www.danshamptons.com

TABLE OF

Stunning Southampton Village Traditional $2,195,000

CONTENTS • 5 Bedrooms • 5 Full Baths • Formal Dining • Custom Designer Kitchen • Finished Basement • Heated Pool • Pool House • Putting Green • Minutes to Ocean Beaches and Southampton Village 1318754

Calll Exclusivee Agent:: Nadinee Campbelll 516.658.5010 0 ncampbell@hulserealty.com m • 91 1 Jobss Lane.. Southampton.. NY www.hulserealty.com

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Beautiful Custom Drapery!

CE R S! 2 5 YEA Check us Out on:

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375 County Road 39, Southampton • www.wwunlimited.com

MARCH 26, 2010

11

Why They Come by Dan Rattiner

13

Southampton’s Beach Ban by Dan Rattiner

13

Google, What Have You Done to Us? by Dan Rattiner

14

Ripped from the Archives: The Lure by Dan Rattiner

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Hitting Search by Dan Rattiner

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No purchase necessary- must come into store to enter. Drawing on March 20th ***must complete travel by June 5th, 2010

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TO CELEBRATE OUR 25TH ANNIVERSARY, WE WILL BE GIVING AWAY 2 ROUND TRIP AIRLINE TICKETS!

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by Dan Rattiner 17

Squeezed Out by Susan Galardi

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Montauk Gets Its Irish On by T.J. Clemente

23

Steve Levy Jumps the Fence by T.J. Clemente

25

Givin’ You the Business by T.J. Clemente

27

Estate of Mind by T.J. Clemente

14

Green Monkeys

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Sheltered Islander

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Hampton Subway

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South O’ the Highway

22

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19

20something

29

34

30 32

Color Bolsters Spring Cleaning by Tamara Matthews-Stephenson Pet Agree Earthly Delights

37

Crank up the Heat by David Lion Rattiner Improving ‘Chi’ by David Lion Rattiner Err A Parent

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Raving Beauty

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Shop ‘til You Drop

40 40 41

Simple Art of Cooking Side Dish Daily Specials

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Women’s History Celebrated by Stacy Dermont

43 43 28

Kim Burrell Gospel by Stacy Dermont Art Commentary Honoring the Artist

Dr. Robert Ruggiero

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Exams • Contacts • Emergency Service Most Extensive Selection Including Cartier • Chrome Hearts • Oliver Peoples

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Over the Barrell

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North Fork Events

EVENT CALENDARS

37 44

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44 46

Movies Day by Day

AND MORE...

10

Hampton Luxury Liner Schedule Letters to Dan

48 48 57

Police Blotter Service Directory Classified

This issue is dedicated to Cherry Anderson.

47

2221 Montauk Highway • P.O. Box 630 • Bridgehampton, NY, 11932 • 631-537-0500 Classified Phone 631-537-4900 • Classified Fax 631-283-2896 Dan's Papers was founded in 1960 by Dan Rattiner and is the first free resort newspaper in America.


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 5 www.danshamptons.com

T he New Hampton Luxury Liner Only $29.90*

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 6 www.danshamptons.com

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 7 www.danshamptons.com

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 8 www.danshamptons.com

Managing Editor: Susan M. Galardi susang@danspapers.com

Founder and Executive Editor: Dan Rattiner askdan@danspapers.com Sections Editor: David Lion Rattiner david@danspapers.com Associate Editor: Stacy Dermont stacy@danspapers.com Shopping Editor: Maria Tennariello shoptil@danspapers.com Display & Web Sales Executives (631) 537-0500 Catherine Ellams, Karen Fitzpatrick, Jean Lynch, Patti Kraft, Tom W. Ratcliffe III Inside Sales Manager Lori Berger lori@danspapers.com Inside Sales Executives (631) 537-4900 Kathy Camarata, Steve Daniel Richard Scalera Art Director Kelly Shelley artdir@danspapers.com Production Director Genevieve Salamone gen@danspapers.com Creative Director Lianne Alcon lianne@danspapers.com Graphic Designer Gustavo Gomez Webmaster Colin Goldberg colin@danspapers.com Business Manager Susan Weber sweber@danspapers.com Distribution Manager Thomas Swinimer delivery@danspapers.com

Publisher: Bob Edelman bedelman@danspapers.com Associate Publisher: Kathy Rae kathy@danspapers.com Assistant to the Publisher: Ellen Dioguardi ellen@danspapers.com Contributing Writers And Editors Roy Bradbrook, Alan Braveman, Patrick Christiano, TJ Clemente, Rich Firstenberg, Janet Flora, Sally Flynn, Bob Gelber, April Gonzales, Barry Gordin, Steve Haweeli, Ken Kindler, Amanda Kludt, Ed Koch, Kelly Krieger, Silvia Lehrer, Christian McLean, Betty Paraskevas, Maria Orlando Pietromonaco, Aline Reynolds, Jenna Robbins, Susan Saiter, David Stoll, Ian Stark, Maria Tennariello, Lenn Thompson, Debbie Tuma, Marion Wolberg Weiss Contributing Artists And Photographers David Charney, Kimberly Goff, Barry Gordin, Christian McLean, Katlean de Monchy, Richard Lewin, Stephanie Lewin, Michael Paraskevas, Ginger Propper, Tom W. Ratcliffe III, Nancy Pollera Dan’s Advisory Board Theodore Kheel, Chairman, Richard Adler Ken Auletta, Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel Avery Corman, Frazer Dougherty, Dallas Ernst Audrey Flack, Billy Joel, John Roland, Mort Zuckerman

* 50th Anniversary Logo Design Winner * Graphic artist and musician Craig Phillip Cardone of Freeport won the “Create a Logo” contest for Dan’s Papers’ 50th Anniversary. Cardone incorporated original artwork by Mickey Paraskevas in his whimsical, winning design. Dan’s Papers Office Open Monday - Friday 8:30 am - 5:00 pm

1317047

© 2009, Brown Publishing Use by permission only. President & CEO: Roy Brown


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 9 www.danshamptons.com

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 10 www.danshamptons.com

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 11 www.danshamptons.com

Why They Come Montauk,theNorthFork,theHamptons&theWorldofManhattan By Dan Rattiner A couple of weeks ago, the news was that Madonna had found a place out here. Last week, Alec Baldwin of Amagansett co-hosted the Academy Awards and this week Martha Stewart says she wants to find a man with a house in the Hamptons and marry him. Or so says Fox News. Over this long winter, local people have been down in the dumps about which way this economy is going to go. Stores have closed. The traffic is, gasp, normal. The snows have been up to our ears. And all the local towns are fighting to make their budgets by cutting back and laying off workers. The fact that the sun was setting at 3:30 in the afternoon (it always does in December) has only added to the gloom. Now, however, it begins. And as we secretly knew all along, the power and draw of the Hamptons is unparalleled. It is going to be a good, if not great summer. And we’ll leave the larger economic picture to Obama and Congress and all those other wonderful politicians down in Washington who have shown such leadership abilities. What I do want to talk about here is not a long list of celebrities who make this place their home away from home, but of the attractions that have made this place one of the most sought-after places in the whole world, particularly to the denizens of New York. The Hamptons owes its basic attraction to its geography. It is the ragged southeastern edge of the debris that the glacier left 20,000 years ago when it slid down from the North Pole and then, politely melted. It left an astonishing amount of peninsulas, islands, beaches, harbors, ponds and hills extending out 60 miles from the mainland of Long Island in two distinct fishtails. It is hard to drive

around a curve in either Montauk, the Hamptons or the North Fork without encountering a body of a water or a view of a body of water in the distance. The place seems to beckon you with its geography. Over the years, in this rural area, people have farmed the land, fished in the seas, swum in the oceans and raised an abundance of fresh foodstuffs for the tables of those living here. When I spoke to several people I know about what it was like here during the Depression, I learned that things might have been hard, but there was never a shortage of food to go around.

Cutchogue, Westhampton Beach, Southampton, Bridgehampton and East Hampton, still preserved in their colonial state, go back to the 1600s. And unlike their New England brethren, they are close by. It is just a two and a half hour car, bus or train ride away from Manhattan. It is twice that and more to get to New England. Beyond that, the East End of Long Island has numerous other advantages over its more distant competitors. The settlers, in the villages they built along the shorelines of southern New England and the East End, put up dozens of 40 foot tall old English windmills. Nearly all remain, a beautiful and unique collection of Americana from a time when the settlers took advantage of the strong winds to grind their grain. The collection here in the Hamptons in particular, eight mills, is the largest of all. And, from a New Yorker’s perspective, the closest of all. Then there were the beaches, the sands, surf and salt sea air of which were considered vigorous health advantages to all who could partake of them beginning a 150 years ago. But the beaches down on Long Island’s East End were grander than any farther north. Facing south, rather than east, they were larger and more beautiful. The surf was roughest and yet, being the farthest south, the sea temperature was the warmest. It was comfortable to swim among the breezes in the summertime in the Hamptons in particular. Farther north, with the temperatures in the 60s, you could go in for a dip, but it was never really possible for the general public to enjoy going in for very long. In other words, when a New York City resident would begin to think of a place nearby to getaway, the East End of Long Island always came

It’s hard to drive around a curve without encountering a body of water or a view of one. Our fresh corn, strawberries, striped bass, lobsters, clams, chickens, ducks, potatoes and everything else you can imagine were most abundant, Depression or no. There were problems with distribution and buying seedlings. Otherwise, everybody ate. Particularly unique about the eastern end, was that, along with New England, it was the earliest fully developed colonial community from when the British settlers first landed. There are hundreds of beautiful New England villages, complete with white churches and town halls, dotted throughout New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Rhode Island. But there are also a dozen of them on the twin peninsulas of Eastern Long Island. The towns of Southold,

(continued on page 19)


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 12 www.danshamptons.com

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Martha Stewart’s a stalker? So says former pal Mariana Pasternak in her new book, The Best of Friends. According to Pasternak, Stewart once lurked around East Hampton looking for “The Mogul,” a wealthy investment banker with whom she supposedly had a fling. * * * While down south filming Love Don’t Let Me Down, Amagansett’s Gwyneth Paltrow has strayed from her strict macrobiotic diet to sample the area’s famous cuisine. On goop.com, her online newsletter, she raves about the fried chicken and sweet potato fries. * * * According to the Wall Street Journal, last December Montauk Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff was physically attacked by another inmate in his North Carolina prison. Afterward, Madoff was transferred to a lowsecurity medical center for treatment. * * * Amagansett resident Alec Baldwin is in a war of the words with the National Enquirer journalist who reported that Baldwin’s feuding with “30 Rock” costar Tina Fey. So far the two have fired insults in Britain’s Times and the New York Post. * * * Congratulations, Joy Behar and Cynthia Nixon! The Hamptons residents were honored at the GLAAD media awards in New York last week. Behar received the top award for excellence in media, and Nixon took home the Vito Russo Award, which is given to an openly gay, bisexual, or transgender media professional who has promoted equal rights. * * * East Hampton’s Steven Spielberg is currently shopping a “hot script” by Noah Oppenheim about the late Jackie Kennedy Onassis. HBO is a lead contender and would likely develop the script as a film for its network. * * * Hamptons regular Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay, had a heart attack last week, and was admitted to Roslyn’s St. Francis Hospital. * * * Nobu partner Richie Notar plans to open a seasonal pop-up restaurant in East Hampton this summer and has issued an early warning: if you’re late for your reservation, you lose it, so plan accordingly. * * * When Otis Raring recently bought a black 2008 Honda Odyssey minivan online, he got more than he paid for: GPS directions to the East Hampton estate of Jerry Seinfeld, who owned the van previously. * * * Hamptons resident Madonna is working with her manager to create a new line of sunglasses for Dolce and Gabbana. The line, called MDG, debuts in May.


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 13 www.danshamptons.com

Southampton’sBeachBan YouCanExposeYourselfandNotSmoke,orCoverUpandSmoke By Dan Rattiner Southampton Village has always taken the lead when it comes to new regulations in the Hamptons. In the 1910s, they passed laws prohibiting what you are allowed to wear in public in that town. That law is still on the books and on various street corners there are street signs that warn of this need for decorum. The law prohibits visitors and residents from wearing clothing that does not cover from the top of the areola (the nipple) of the chest to halfway between the hipbone and the knee anywhere in public (with one exception) between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Violators will be subject to up to $1,000 in fines and/or up to 15 days in jail. It is the only community in the Hamptons to have such a law. The exception to this law is for the beaches in that village. It was decided way back then—this was just after the era when people changed clothes in little cabanas or portable curtained beach huts and they were running around on the beaches in bathing suits about as revealing as today—that there was a need to give people the opportunity to walk from the beaches where the

law does not apply, to their carriages and vehicles in the beach parking lot. Thus the law was not in effect on the beaches and from the dune to 50 yards inland. This relic of a law was widely praised when it was put into effect, then in the 1960s and 1970s was the subject of much public scoffing and ridicule by libertarians, hippies and freedom of expression types. It was put up for repeal, but at the last minute, a wave of historic nostalgia overtook the village. The law, rarely enforced, was part of the village’s heritage. It should be celebrated, not repealed. And so the proposal to repeal it was denied. It remains in effect, with Southampton the only village on the East End to have such a matter on its books. It is, under outrageous circumstances, enforced. In regards to less outrageous circumstances, a warning is often sufficient. This past Tuesday, however, Mayor Mark Epley and the Southampton Village Trustees

voted to write another new law that, if passed, will break new ground. This law bans smoking in various public, outdoor sections of this community. In these areas, there will no longer be people loitering around, having gotten out of doors for no other purpose than to light one up. No such law about smoking exists in any other community on the East End, as of yet. The law is carefully written to be in effect where there are an “abundance” of children around. There is to be no smoking from 9 to 5 in the playground section of Agawam Park. There is to be no smoking during the same hours in Windward Way Park and in the Down Family Park. Perhaps most importantly, there is to be no outdoor smoking along a particular section of Cooper’s Beach. It is where the food concession and pavilion, the only food concession and pavil(continued on page 26)

GOOGLE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO US? By Dan Rattiner Since Google, the search engine, first came into the world 10 years ago, I have always thought of the founders as good guys—kids in t-shirts and jeans who would never do anything that was not on the up and up. I am here to tell you I am very disappointed in them. The way to get on the Internet, as we all know, is with a modem or Wi-Fi and then the browser

of your choice. Until six months ago, Google did not have a browser. You went online either with Safari on a Macintosh, or with Internet Explorer or Firefox on a PC (personal computer). A few other companies have come out with browsers, Google among them, but none have made a dent in the computer world. Most people would just as well leave browsers alone. Microsoft makes Explorer and Apple makes Safari. Firefox, which

may be the best of them, has been built for free by energetic users. All are just platforms. And all are free. As I use a PC, this story will be about the PC side of the computer world, but it doesn’t matter. The story holds true for either side. Google has gone over to the dark side. A light has gone out in the world. It’s a sad day in Silicon Valley. (continued on page 20)


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 14 www.danshamptons.com

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The Lure

Giant Female Ecuadorian Eel on its Way to Lure Our Killer Male First published in Dan’s Papers on March 14, 2003 By Dan Rattiner Last Thursday, on one of the coldest days of the year, members of the media traveled through the snow to Town Hall in Shelter Island for a press conference about the great 30foot long Ecuadorian Eel lurking in the murky bottom of Trout Pond in Noyac. A group of Town officials, members of the Environmental Protection Association, several police chiefs and an expert from Cornell University Marine Biology Department sat on the dais at one end of the room. The media, reporters and photographers and broadcasters who had been invited to come, sat on folding chairs at the other.

“We are here,” said Hampton Mayor Frank Anton, “because Dr. Horace Helmsley here from Cornell has presented us with a plan to deal with

the eel and we have accepted it. The eel has already killed a truck driver. It tried to kill a hunter from Ronkonkoma. This is a dangerous situation. Dr. Helmsley’s plan is a great plan. It can be put into place within a week. Let him tell you about it. After that, we will entertain questions. Dr. Helmsley?” Dr. Helmsley got up, and he pulled on what looked like a big window shade and down came a full color map of eastern Long Island. Helmsley picked up a pointer. “The eel is here,” he said, tapping the map, “in Trout Pond. It’s a great Ecuadorian, extremely rare.” He looked over at the EPA people and they nodded soberly. (continued on page 24)


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 15 www.danshamptons.com

Hitting Search IsAmericanDemocracytobeInsisteduponEverywhereintheWorld By Dan Rattiner Last Tuesday, Google announced that it will not continue to operate in China, where at the present time, 30% of all those online use their search service rather than the locally owned Chinese search service. The issue, as Google frames it, is freedom of information. When you click on a search word, the search should take you everywhere, no holds barred. Chinese computer experts hacked into the service without their knowledge and messed with it so that for some search terms, certain information that should come up did not. The hackers cut out pornography and they cut out information that is critical of the government.

Google says it will no longer do this. China says it will not be told what to do and will ban any company that operates in violation of Chinese law. It occurs to me that there are many services that offer search engines that DO ban certain information. YouTube will not allow information involving pornography to be searchable on its site. The company itself regulates this. You can search FaceBook but there are levels of privacy that will cut out what can be searched. The users regulate this. Some news sites allow anybody to say anything. Others have employees whose job it is to decide whether something posted is “objectionable” or not. All these restrictions are

spelled out in the small print explanation that you have to agree to. The U. S. Government has taken Google’s side in the controversy. America is the land of the free. Anybody can say anything they want. There are search sites for pornography, search sites for Ne0-Nazis, search sites for the Ku Klux Klan, all perfectly legal in this country. The only exception to this freedom of speech business is with child pornography. You can go to jail just for possessing it. America does not go to war to fight governments that ban freedom of speech and media (unless they become a direct threat to this coun(continued on next page)

A SPORTS TEAM THAT CAN’T BEAT ANYBODY By Dan Rattiner It’s often been said that on any given day, one basketball team can beat another, so you never know. On the other hand, there is the New Jersey Nets. The Nets have been playing basketball for about 29 years now in their stadium in the Meadowlands, and although they have never won any championships, they have, from time to time, made it to the playoffs. As recently as three years ago, even with their star guard Jason Kidd aging, they managed to get to them, only to be turned away by the Los Angeles Lakers. This year, however, the Nets came out onto the court with a team that was so bad it broke the old adage. The lost their first 18 games, which set a record for how to start the season. Then they won their first game but lost their next 10. By the time the Jets were 33 games into their season, they had managed to win only three. They were, at that time, the pundits said, destined to be the worst professional basketball team in history. All they had to do was continue on. And they did. At home games at the Meadowlands, just a

few of their fans would show up, just to booo at them. And the Nets obliged by continuing on their vast losing streak. There were all sorts of reasons why this losing streak was happening according to the sportswriters. There were injuries. The coach was bad (and got fired). There were players they needed but they couldn’t get in the draft. They had been a mediocre team the year before with just a 5050 record and with Jason Kidd gone to another team the morale had plunged. The team was going to move to Brooklyn. And, finally, the team had been bought by a Russian billionaire who did not care whether they won or lost frankly and wasn’t even clear about all the rules of the game. Whatever it was, the team plunged on toward the record. I watched them on TV once, for about four minutes. They shot and missed, the other team shot and scored, they got the ball and shot and missed and the other team shot and scored and finally—I could not stand it anymore—the Nets threw the ball in from out of bounds for a steal and the other teams scored again. I turned it off.

Strangely, the Nets games began to almost vanish from the pages of the New York dailies. Ordinarily, they would be writing about both the Knicks and the Nets. Now it was just the Knicks, with only a summary of the Nets games in little tiny print. And there the Nets sat, in the division standings so far down that it seemed they should just be a footnote or something. As the team passed 65 games (6 wins and 59 losses) management did hire a new player with at least moderate abilities. I had been following the team in the papers, noting their scores every other day or so. The losses were awful. They’d be behind 105 to 60 with 10 minutes to play and the other squad would put in their second team to finish the game out. The final score would still be 119 to 75. But now, with the new player, the Nets seemed to be getting close before being defeated. I began to see scores like 104 to 101. Or 96 to 89. These were phenomenally close efforts it seemed to me and although I had no evidence to support my theory about it, it seemed to me it was because (continued on next page)


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 16 www.danshamptons.com

Hitting Search

Sport Team

(continued from previous page)

try), but they do express disapproval of other governments who put a ban on things. Obama did just that when he met with the Chinese leader Wu Bangguo. It seems to me that Google is taking the position that it is the defender of freedom of speech and information and the American Way. Otherwise, they could end this standoff by offering their present Google service everywhere else in the world with the exception of the airwaves in China, and in China offer a second service under a different name, with the same information as everywhere else but with the restrictions demanded by China cut out of it. Call it GoogleX.com. In China, it would be legal to own GoogleX.com. You could go to jail for being in possession of Google.com. That Google might agree to do this seems to all of us here as shockingly un-American. Didn’t we fight the Soviet Union because their way of life suppressed independent thought? Didn’t we overthrow Saddam Hussein because he oppressed his people? It does bring up the question of just how far we wish to go to support freedom for peoples everywhere. Should America be the land of the free? Or the land that goes to war to make everywhere else free too? A cynic would say it is more about oil and commerce and nothing about freedom for the people. The facts might very well support that contention. America did go to war against the Soviet Union when the leaders of that oppressed state declared they would spread Communism all over

the world. Since that would include the Statue of Liberty and America, it meant a fight. It did not mean a fight against the People’s Republic of China, though. China had become a repressive Communist-run state much like the Soviet Union. But it never reached out to change the world. Wu, when hearing of Obama’s criticism, declared that there were levels of repression and some were more applicable in certain circumstances, and there were situations where full freedom would not work. He said Obama was welcome to his opinions and he would run China and Obama could run America. At this point, with China building a western style economy that will soon be the dominant one in the world, it seems we are at a crossroads with our thinking. China consists of 1.3 billion people. It is the elephant in the room. If running a country of this size requires certain information to be withheld or changed around we don’t support it, but perhaps there is something to it. On the other hand, many Americans say that soon the Chinese government, in love with Western life, will come to its senses and open the doors to freedom in its own country. Somebody here is going to have to either bend or compromise. Somebody here is going to have to re-think things. Otherwise, as has happened in history over and over again, people are going to kill one another in massive numbers because they would not bend to the other’s way of life or religious beliefs.

(cont’d from previous page)

the work of the fairly good player. I bring all this up at this particular time only because I consider myself a connoisseur of bad performances. I eagerly watched the Mets stagger through their first year as an expansion baseball team back in the 1960s. Their coach, Casey Stengel, famously said during that year “can’t ANYBODY play this game?” But even so, the Mets managed to win 20 games of their first 70. The Nets, if they continued on, would win just 7 games over the same time at the rate they were going. Two weeks ago, however, an astounding thing happened. The Nets went up to Boston to play the Celtics, who are one of the three best teams in basketball. And they won, beating them on their home court. It was not possible. Two days later there was an earthquake in Chile. Since that time, the Nets have begun winning one out of every five games they play. This is double the miserable-ness that they had been playing at before when they were winning one out of 10. Indeed, the Nets may well be escaping from the record set by the Milwaukee Brewers in 1987 when they lost the most games in the history of professional basketball. It’s entirely possible, if this slightly improved situation continues, that the Nets may, so to speak, have dodged the bullet. We shall see. Last week, the Nets beat their cross-town rivals, the Knicks. What is happening? Whatever it is, I decided, I better write this down before the Nets rise to a level of incompetence that might be too high to be written about. So here it is.

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Squeezed Out In Today’s Hamptons, Two Groups Have No Place to Call Home by Susan M. Galardi You can bring a kid a shotgun, but you can’t make him shoot. Yet encouraging young people to hunt was suggested recently at a town deer summit in East Hampton. A DEC biologist said it could help control the deer population. So let’s get this straight. Parents who can’t get a teenager to turn off the computer and come to dinner are now supposed to convince him or her to get up at 4 in the morning, put on gear, grab the gun (or bow and arrow), go out and muck around in the cold and wet woods, and BLAM! Blow away a deer–all before morning assembly?

This was just one suggestion at the three-hour meeting, where almost 200 people crushed into Town Hall to discuss deer overpopulation in East Hampton. Hunters lead the charge to “cull” the population; activists and vegetarians opposed the “slaughter;” homeowners and regular citizens just pleaded with the town to do something. After everything was said and nothing done, one point was clear: Deer and hunters have no place in the Hamptons anymore—literally. The East End is no longer the country, with swaths of forests where deer can live away from us with their ticks and inability to understand

what a car is. The area is a suburb, albeit an extraordinary one, where farms and woods have been replaced by mansions and quarter-acre improved lots. The deer have little choice for habitat. What else can they do but sleep in your yard and eat your plants? Their nemeses, hunters, are feeling squeezed too—ironically for the same reasons. Designated hunting areas have been decreased over the years, and hunting is illegal within 500 feet of a residence. Some hunters want to see those setbacks reduced so they can hunt in the privacy of (continued on next page)

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Squeezed Out

(continued from previous page)

your own backyard. I sure don’t want deer in my yard. But I don’t want hunters there either. Despite rampant disagreement, almost everyone at the meeting was of the mind that deer overpopulation is a problem, and it’s growing: a doe has two fawns a year—which means up to 50% more deer annually. Two weeks ago, leaving a show at Guild Hall in East Hampton, I saw an enormous buck walking down the sidewalk—on Main Street. I’ve had three near misses with deer on the road and was treated for a bull’s eye Lyme rash last summer. We moved to North Haven in July, and as I walked down the driveway to meet the moving truck, a tick fell square onto my forehead from the vines overhead. Welcome to North Haven. Everyone has war stories about deer, but the problems the animals present are nothing compared to the problems the solutions create. To control ticks, homeowners spray the hell out of their property with highly toxic chemicals that leech into the ground and water system. You could limit the environmental damage and put the stuff on yourself instead—or, better yet, on the deer through 4-poster contraptions used on Shelter Island. Deer enter baiting stations, and the pesticide Permethrin is spread on them. While this supposedly reduces ticks by a whopping 90%, Permethrin has been shown to cause cancer. Water tests on Shelter Island show the chemical is there. (Also, you can’t eat the meat from deer treated with these chemicals, killing the rationale that hunting provides food for the poor.)

To control the deer themselves, 8-foot fencing keeps the animals off your property—but as they look for a new route, it also forces them to dart out on the roads. A few years ago, special reflectors were used on a deer-y stretch of Stephen Hands Path abutting a farm. While the group responsible claims it was effective in keeping deer off the roads, dissenters said it improved because the farmer is now growing potatoes, which deer don’t eat. Strategies to control the number of deer include contraceptives administered at baiting stations (young females will have to get a letter from their parents), and trapping and relocating the deer (to a place that needs/wants them?). The biologist, the DEC’s Michael Clark, is against trapping/relocating, which is currently illegal in New York, saying that the deer could die from the stress of being captured. No one wants that. Instead, he recommended trapping and “euthanizing.” Die from stress? Die from a bullet? Which brings us to hunting, and Clark’s other suggestions like killing only the baby-machine does, and recruiting local youth to the ranks of hunting. That idea was based on statistics that the younger generation is not as keen on the activity. There are good reasons for that. First, the practical need is gone—you just don’t have to go out and shoot something for the stewpot anymore. Second, one twenty-something told me that when he was in high school out here, hunting was no longer considered cool. His generation was raised by parents who came of age in the ‘60s who believed that killing is wrong. There’s also the video game theory. Kids between 8 and 18

spend almost 8 hours a day using electronic devices—and that doesn’t include texting. Why leave the comfort of your home, happily blowing up things in cool video games, to go outside and risk getting Lyme disease? How the Town of East Hampton will deal with all the suggestions, emotions, problems and solutions remains to be seen, but there are specific actions it could take. To limit accidents, the town should get actual data on how and if the reflectors have been working. For ticks, it should mandate effective, non-toxic pesticide sprays for private property that won’t give the rest of us cancer (organic sprays work, and make your property smell really nice). By no means should there be any leeway on the 500-foot property setback regulation. The issue of trapping/relocating should be addressed at the state level, sending deer to a place where they’re wanted. In tandem, the Hampton Luxury Liner could sponsor a trapping/relocation of hunters, too, temporarily taking them somewhere they can run free and shoot to their heart’s content. Wherever deer won’t get in the way of regular folks living their lives, hunters would probably be welcomed, too. There’s a place for them, somewhere… Herds of deer carrying disease and causing car accidents have no place in the densely populated Hamptons. Neither do hunters shooting rifles around private property. Just as the deer population needs to die out in the modern Hamptons, maybe traditions that no longer make sense on the East End of the 21st Century need be rethought, too.

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 19 www.danshamptons.com

Twentysomething…By David Lion Rattiner I know a lot of people who’ve recently been diagnosed with a Vitamin D deficiency. Vitamin D, which is created by our bodies naturally by getting exposure from sunlight, is hard to get, so it’s important for my friends to purchase Vitamin D pills. One buddy has a real problem because he just can’t seem to find the time to get five minutes of sunlight a day that’s needed to prevent the onset of Rickets. He’s already getting serious symptoms of Vitamin D deficiency, like becoming irritable when something bad happens. The other day I felt a little irritable and thirsty, and I read that Vitamin D deficiency can be the cause of both of these symptons, so I went to the doctor just to be safe. After an exam and a few questions, it was determined that I don’t have a Vitamin D deficiency, but an air intake deficien-

WhyTheyCome

cy. Also known as AI deficiency. It’s new. The doctor explained that my body wasn’t getting enough air during the day, which may be the cause of my thirst and slight irritability. I asked about options, and he explained that the air that we breathe is very important to our health, impacting all of our major body systems directly and indirectly, especially our vital organs such as the heart, brain and lungs. In fact, if you can believe it, if we don’t get enough air, it can be fatal, something I was unaware of. It really got me thinking about what I should do. The good doctor explained that my air deficiency could be helped if I purchase a new supplement that comes from the skin of pineapples, and include more pineapples in my diet if possible. I left his office feeling good because AI wasn’t

going to stop me from experiencing the optimal/maximal/perfect life that I strive to live every day. I went to the store and got imported pineapples from an organic farm in South America (owned by a white guy from California, so you know it’s the good stuff) and bought the new pineapple supplements. I also tried breathing, but honestly, who has the time these days to breathe in and out during the day? I mean, I’m a very busy man. I’ve also found wonderful, creative ways to add pineapples to my diet. I have a great new salmon, walnut, pineapple, whey protein, acaiblueberry, wheatgrass pizza recipe—makes a fantastic lunch. It’s exactly what it sounds like, (continued on page 23)

(cont’d from page 11)

to mind first. And because it came to mind first, it attracted the most privileged and sophisticated of those who lived in New York City, simply because of the laws of supply and demand. From this there emerged something that is truly unique in the entire world. After about 100 years (1870-1970) of sometimes hilarious encounters between New York sophisticates and country types (farmers, fishermen, local laborers) on the East End—the New Yorkers began to bring here the kind of art and sophistication they were familiar with back home. Today, the play you will sometimes see at Bay Street in Sag Harboe or Guild Hall in East Hampton, is often a precursor to what will shortly be the same thing in Manhattan. Top musicians and singers came here—Itzhak Perlman, Billy Joel, Madonna and Sting come to mind—not necessarily to perform but to live. Great artists came to live and paint here. (Think of Lichtenstein, Rivers, deKooning, Pollock, Schnabel and Klein), the world’s great architects came to design homes and public structures here, then, after a legion of writers, novelists came to live here (Steinbeck, Vonnegut, Doctorow, Plimpton, Matthiessen) then the critics and editors (Craig Claiborne, Bill Bradley, Pamela Fiori), then the fashion industry (Klein, Lauren) the Rap Industry (Simmons and Diddy), and then the most recognizable successes from video and film (Spielberg, Baldwin, Sonnenfeld, Bacall, Zellweger) and then all manner of others involved in every other range of the arts. Indeed, the Hamptons and the East End are now filmed and featured in many movies that make their way to market every year. The East End of Long Island have a bad season? Never. To all that come, we welcome you too, among other things and on a personal note, the 50th Anniversary of Dan’s Papers, and the publication of IN THE HAMPTONS, TOO, the second collection of stories about people I know and knew from this part of the world, which will be appearing this Memorial Day weekend. The East End is where I have made my home since I was brought out here by my parents as a teenager to live in the 1950s. This was now our home. We were gone from our former home on the suburban street in Millburn, New Jersey. My dad had bought a drugstore on the East End. It knocked me out. I’ve never left.

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 20 www.danshamptons.com

Google

(continued from page 13)

Two nights ago, I noticed that I was having difficulty getting to my email. I use Firefox and my main page is Google. A click on Google takes me to my email site, gmail.com, which is owned by Google. I clicked on gmail.com and it wouldn’t load. Instead, I got a message. It read that Gmail could not load in Standard Mode on my computer. Instead, I could click here and get my mail with something called Gmail.com HTML mode. I clicked. I got my mail fine now, but this version of gmail was very stripped down. I could not, for instance, send out an email to more than one person at a time. My groups were disabled. If I wanted to send a message out to 15 people at the same time, I’d have to type every one of them in each time. What was going on? Yesterday it worked. Today it doesn’t. I tried Internet Explorer instead of Firefox and it did the same thing. There were many features disabled. I went back to the message that told me Standard Mode could not load on my computer. The message said there might be three reasons for this—one was that I had used too much memory. Another was that my computer might not be powerful enough. The third was that I might have an out-of-date version of the browser I was using. I should update the browser. This third one made no sense to me, because I had just installed an update on Firefox. The second made no sense because this is a computer less than six months old. And the first made no sense because the percentage of usage was right there on the screen and I was nowhere near top-

ping out. I worked on this problem for the next three hours. I tried to get into Standard Mode on an old laptop and it worked fine, so that meant Google and gmail were not the problem. The problem might be, it seemed to me, the update of Firefox I had just put in. I called the manufacturer of my laptop for help and they did some diagnostics and said it was not my laptop. They tried a few tricks with the software, but nothing helped. I thanked them, and then went back to the error message. It told me what I could do to fix it. I could enjoy this lousy html mode. Or, another thing I could do was to download Chrome, which is the new Google Browser. That would work fine. I did that. And it did work fine. With the new browser from Google, I could get right into Standard Mode in Google’s email site with no problem. So now, after three hours of work trying to fix Firefox, I am now using Chrome because it is the only thing that works. In other words, Google has downloaded something into my new computer that partially disables both Firefox and Explorer when you try to use gmail on them. By the way, I went to the help blogs—calling Google gets you a message telling you they don’t offer live help. The help blogs are full of people who can now suddenly get only this crippled html version of gmail. It’s a big problem everywhere. They say that all is fair in love and war, but this is the same dirty trick that Microsoft uses whenever they want to pull the rug out from under one of their competitors. It is illegal and

they know it. Microsoft has done this to Netbook and Wordperfect and UNIX and the government steps in and says they have to stop so they do, but by that time their victim is dead on the floor. That’s why you can just barely remember Netbook, Wordperfect and UNIX, which each had 90% of their corner of the computer market before Microsoft came in with a competing product and—because these others have to work on the Windows platform—got them partially disabled and abandoned before the referee could come in blowing his whistle to get Microsoft to return to playing by the rules. I am just so disappointed in Google. Larry Page and Sergey Brin, one American born and one Russian born, have made billions with their company. They cost me three hours the other evening and then the following morning by crippling their competitors and herding me over to Chrome without my consent. So that’s business. No holds barred. And don’t even tell your customer what is going on because he’ll call in the referee before the crook is finished with his competitors. Unfortunately, I am here to report, much to my dismay, that Chrome is just fabulous. It blows both Explorer and Firefox out of the water. It loads in a nanosecond. It goes to where you want to go with blinding speed, which really is all that a browser is supposed to do. I am so glad I found it. Sorry Firefox. You don’t work right anyway anymore. I’m going with the Mafia for the good stuff.

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Switch today! 1-877-872-0851 Credit card not required in MA & PA.*Eligibility for local channels based on service address. ^^Professional installation highly recommended. Land-based phone line connection required. DVR Scheduler requires Internet access via computer or mobile phone and directv.com login. Remote connections may vary. In rare instances, scheduled recording(s) may not be recognized. Only available on certain receivers. Visit directv. com/dvrscheduler for details. ^BILL CREDIT/PROGRAMMING OFFER: Free SHOWTIME for 3 months, a value of $38.97. Free Starz and SHOWTIME for 3 months, a value of $72. LIMIT ONE PROGRAMMING OFFER PER ACCOUNT. Featured package names and prices: CHOICE $58.99/mo.; CHOICE XTRA $63.99/mo. Upon DIRECTV System activation, customer will receive redemption instructions (included in customer’s first DIRECTV bill, a separate mailing, or, in the state of New York, from retailer) and must comply with the terms of the instructions. In order to receive full $29 credit, customer must submit rebate online, enroll in Auto Bill Pay program, and consent to email alerts prior to rebate redemption. Online redemption requires valid email address. Rebate begins 6-8 weeks after receipt of rebate form online or by mail. Timing of promotional price depends on redemption date. If customer removes Auto Bill Pay before promotional period ends, associated $5 bill credit will cease. Account must be in “good standing,” as determined by DIRECTV in its sole discretion, to remain eligible. DIRECTV not responsible for late, lost, illegible, mutilated, incomplete, misdirected or postage-due mail. IF BY THE END OF PROMOTIONAL PRICE PERIOD(S) CUSTOMER DOES NOT CONTACT DIRECTV TO CHANGE SERVICE THEN ALL SERVICES WILL AUTOMATICALLY CONTINUE AT THE THEN-PREVAILING RATES INCLUDING THE $5/MO. LEASE FEE FOR THE 2ND AND EACH ADDITIONAL RECEIVER. DIRECTV System has a feature which restricts access to channels. In certain markets, programming/pricing may vary. °INSTANT REBATE: Second advanced product offer for qualified customers only who select an HD DVR or HD Receiver as the first free equipment upgrade. Advanced equipment instant rebate requires activation of the CHOICE XTRA package or above; MAS ULTRA or above; Jadeworld; or any qualifying international service bundle, which shall include the PREFERRED CHOICE programming package (valued at $38.99/mo.). DVR service ($7/mo.) required for DVR and HD DVR lease. HD Access fee ($10/mo.) required for HD and HD DVR lease. LIMIT TWO ADVANCED EQUIPMENT REBATES PER DIRECTV ACCOUNT. INSTALLATION: Standard professional installation only. Custom installation extra. SYSTEM LEASE: Purchase of 24 consecutive months of any DIRECTV base programming package ($29.99/mo. or above) or qualifying international services bundle required. FAILURE TO ACTIVATE IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE EQUIPMENT LEASE ADDENDUM MAY RESULT IN A CHARGE OF $150 PER RECEIVER. IF SERVICE IS TERMINATED BEFORE THE END OF COMMITMENT, A CANCELLATION FEE OF $20/MONTH REMAINING WILL APPLY. ALL EQUIPMENT IS LEASED AND MUST BE RETURNED TO DIRECTV UPON CANCELLATION, OR UNRETURNED EQUIPMENT FEES APPLY. Programming, pricing, terms and conditions subject to change at any time. Pricing residential. Taxes not included. Receipt of DIRECTV programming subject to DIRECTV Customer Agreement; copy provided at directv.com/legal and in first bill. Starz and related channels and service marks are the property of Starz Entertainment Group LLC. Showtime and related marks are registered trademarks of Showtime Networks Inc., a CBS Company. ©2010 DIRECTV, Inc. DIRECTV and the Cyclone Design logo, CHOICE and CHOICE XTRA are trademarks of DIRECTV, Inc. All other trademarks and service marks are the property of their respective owners 1317312

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 21 www.danshamptons.com

Montauk Gets Its Irish On By T.J. Clemente This year, the 48th Friends of Erin Parade in Montauk was its usual spectacle with a mixed bags of trickster floats, historical fire trucks, and a sprinkling of politicians who felt popular enough at the moment to march along with the drums, bands, bagpipers and neighbors. The parade, led as always by the Amityville Highlanders Bagpipers, headed down Main Street in Montauk as a testimony to civic pride and a homage to Irish heritage—all for charity. This year’s Grand Marshal, Craig Tuthill, attended the first parade with his grandfather E.B. Tuthill, who lent his lumberyard flatbed truck as one of the earliest floats. The early parades went in the opposite direction ending at the Montauk Firehouse. “We used to serve about 150 people hotdogs afterwards at the firehouse,” Tuthill said. Executive Director of the Montauk Chamber of Commerce Laraine

Creegan, said the Chamber mugs (its annual parade commemorative) sold briskly. The popular soup stand manned by Carl Darenberg and his crew of chamber volunteers continued to be a popular spot to view the parade. The efforts of Friends of Erin President Joe Bloecker, and President of the Ladies Auxiliary Maureen Keller manifested themselves in a glorious event. It isn’t uncommon to see three generations of families watching from vantage points every year. This year’s crowd was down, (around 35,000) from the record estimate of three years ago of 47,000.The fine weather had everyone in high feather with the “Tiger Woods and His Mistresses” float getting laughs, as well as the annual “Coneheads” float, which this year was a takeoff on the movie Avatar. Once again, Nancy Atlas did her salute to Elvis with many fans and friends on board. New East Hampton Town

Board members marched, along with Montauk resident, Board member Julia Prince, very much with child. Supervisor William Wilkinson, also a Montauk resident, made an appearance as did County Representative Jay Schneiderman and his children. What makes this parade so Montauk is the sheer enthusiasm of its residents. It launches the tourist season in Montauk with the first infusion of much needed customers to the town. Afterwards, the sea of folks green from head to toe with T-shirts, hats, hair, face paint, nylons and yes, green false teeth, headed to the trains and cars to exit town. According to Grand Marshal Tuthill, “The first Grand Marshal 48 years ago was Leo Burke, a good friend of my grandfather’s and my father’s.” The sound of the bagpipes echo off the roar of the surf. The faces in some families age as younger ones appear. It’s how traditions grow. The East End’s Favorite Kids Party Spot!

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Montauk’s Annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Photos: Richard Lewin

County Legislator Jay Schneiderman, Montauk Fire Dept. Chief Robert Gosman, Jr.

Herb Herbert, Charlie Grimes

Grand Marshal Craig Tuthill

Montauk Friends of Erin 48th Annual Cocktail Party @ Gurney's Inn & Resort

Lauren Damm, Megan McLaughlin, Liz Lycke, J.P. Lycke, Brian Damm

Hampton Bays 6th Annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Photos: Richard Lewin

Photos: Nancy Pollera

Grand Marshal John C. Ryan of East Quogue

Steve Turbek (MFOE V.P.), Wayne Schrage, Joe Bloecker (MFOE Pres.) Ingrid Lemme, Montauk Parade Grand Marshal Craig Tuthill

Parade participants taking an ice cream break

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Divo Night @ The Friars Club Photo: Barry Gordin

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 23 www.danshamptons.com

Steve Levy Jumps the Fence By T.J. Clemente One thing’s for sure about Suffolk County Executive Steve Levy—he knows how to get his name in the paper. From embarrassing public ethnic slurs to progressive countywide green policies, his name is in the daily rags. Levy knows how to get his ink, but this week he painted in statewide oils—he was on the cover of almost every daily publication with his political gambit of switching political parties (Democrat to Republican) to win the right to oppose Andrew Cuomo in the race for governor. Attempting to follow what has been four years of amazing political misfortunes centering around the governor’s office, with two men ruining their formerly pristine political reputations, Levy is sailing into uncharted waters. Southampton Town Supervisor Anna Throne-Holst and New York State Assemblyman Fred Thiele, two savvy East End political minds, weighed in. Throne-Holst wrote in an email, “Switching parties when rooted in a true sense of disconnect with a party platform and position on issues, is a legitimate choice, [as well as a] responsibility for those in elected office. It’s only fair to voters.... On the other hand, when switching—or even vying for an office—is based on opportunism, that’s a different story. I believe the voting public is moving increasingly towards choosing representatives they believe will serve them best and who represent real public service rather than going party line.” Thiele took a different course, saying,

“Steve Levy’s announcement that he is becoming a Republican and running for Governor adds another twist to an already volatile political year in New York, where every state office is up for election this year. Steve is a long time friend and colleague. He has a formidable record, savvy political instincts, and an endless capacity for work. I have no doubt that he’ll play a major role in shaping the state campaign this Fall. Whether he is successful will largely depend on whether he can convince people that his party switch is a matter of conscience and not simply political opportunism.” Thiele’s last line is the crux of what will happen. To highlight what may become a year for a new record in mudslinging in a governor’s race, former U.S. Representative Rick Lazio, (the man Hillary Clinton defeated to launch her own political career as U.S. Senator from New York), is leading a new charge. Lazio, who fancied himself the front runner until about half of the state’s Republican Party chairmen threw their support behind Levy, released facts he wanted out there about the County Executive in press release about Levy: 1. He voted for the largest tax increase in state history—$3.2 billion in 2003. 2. He voted for massive SEIU union giveaway—$1 billion in 2002. 3. He twice voted to make Shelly Silver the Speaker of the Assembly. 4. In January 2010, he said Andrew Cuomo would make a good Governor. 5. He called the Obama Stimulus package “manna from heaven” that would “save lives.” 6. He’s taken nearly $400,000 from labor unions.7. He endorsed and supported Al Gore. 8. He endorsed and supported John Kerry. 9. He endorsed and supported Eliot Spitzer. 10. He has said that he will not support Republicans running for office this year. Levy supporters point out his balanced

county budgets, fiscal conservatism, and ability to work across party lines to get things done —he’s taken that strategy to a new level. Ironically, when Suffolk County Legislator Jay Schneiderman felt uneasy about being a member of Dick Cheney’s party and switched to Independent, Levy took some pot shots. In a tribute to instant Karma, Levy will now feel that same heat. A local political figure who requested anonymity said, “It may be fun to see if Cuomo or Levy will claim they’re more liberal, or more conservative.” He inferred that the Cuomo machine will slash and burn all that comes into its path. Of course, eight months is a long time in a political year, and with the whole U.S. Congress and one third of the U.S. Senate up for grabs, post Health Care Reform vote, the Governor’s race is sure to be quite a spectacle come November.

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 24 www.danshamptons.com

(!-04/."!93

By Dan Rattiner Week of March 19 – March 25, 2010 Riders this week: 5,712 Rider miles this week: 58,422 DOWN IN THE TUBE Out hunting for summer rentals last week and seen on the subway were Meryl Streep in Sag Harbor, Sandra Bullock in Shinnecock and Mel Gibson on Shelter Island. It should be a good summer. NO NEWSLETTER LAST WEEK We apologize that there was no Hampton Subway Newsletter last week. It was due to a mix-up. Our typesetting is done at Hampton Subway Headquarters in Hampton Bays. Our printing is done at Ajax Printing in Westhampton. A new intern was assigned the job of bringing the diskette we use for the newsletter from Hampton Bays to Westhampton. We use a very old technology, which has long been in need

The Lure

of updating. In any case, the intern we sent out on the task never delivered the diskette. He was last heard from surfing in Hawaii. Well, there was not a whole lot that happened last week. SUBWAYS WILL ACCELERATE FASTER Hampton Subway will be retrofitting all its subway cars with new turbocharged engines. For years, Hampton Subway has operated with old Opel 4 cylinder diesel engines, which could get the subways up to full speed—38 miles an hour—in 14 seconds. This is not a terribly fast acceleration. The New York Subway gets its trains up to full speed in 10.2 seconds. Now, we have obtained, through important contacts at eBay, three dozen superchargers originally built for as attachments for 2004 Opel 4 cylinder diesel engines. They were won at auction for a tremendous bargain—$92.51 for the lot—and though they were listed as being attachable to 2003 Opel 4 cylinder diesel engines, we bought them anyway hoping they would fit the 2004

models. They do. The turbochargers inject an extra oomph of diesel fuel when the motorman puts the pedal to the medal. There is a half second delay before the extra fuel kicks in, so straphangers will feel a sort of hesitation when leaving every stop, but after that, the zip up to top speed will come very quickly, we’ve calculated it will be 9.8 seconds, and, as a result, the time spent going from one stop to the next will be shortened. Although the subways arrive on a particularly rigorous schedule, this new oomph will allow the stops at the stations to be an average of 12 seconds longer, thus allowing riders who rush to catch the train to be able to do so where they have not been able to do so before. Hang on to your hats. CLOWNS REMOVED A group of nine circus clowns was removed from the Pantigo platform last Thursday afternoon after some people complained. It turns out they were students at the Addison Clown School in Ronkonkoma and were just out there for a school project. Nevertheless they were booked at East Hampton Village Court on charges of disturbing the peace, failing to get proper permits and being neglectful in not posting the appropriate amount of insurance bonds required by law. They will appear for the arraignment on (continued on next page)

(continued from page 14)

“So nobody can kill it.” “Yet,” interrupted Hampton Police Chief Pasta. “Never.” said several men in unison from the EPA. “As you can see,” Helmsley continued, “Noyac Road passes Trout Pond just to the north. And to the north of that is Little Harbor. Little Harbor flushes out into open water, to Peconic Bay and to the Atlantic Ocean. “There is an outfall pipe that goes under the road between Little Harbor and Trout Pond. It is a big six-foot diameter sewer pipe that allows the tides to flush in and out of the Pond. We want to get the eel through that sewer pipe and out to open water. We are going to lure him out.” Helmsley paused to lean on his pointer. He stared out at the assembled crowd. “We have located a female Great Ecuadorian in the Municipal Aquarium in Quito, Ecuador,” he said. “Remember Willie the Whale? How they transported him in a big military cargo plane from Seattle to Iceland? We have arranged the same equipment. Only because of the war in Iraq, the plane is being donated by FedEx. It should be landing at Gabreski Airport in Westhampton Beach two days from now. Greta, which is what they have named this female Great Ecuadorian, will be transported by moving van to the boat ramp at Little Harbor and dumped out. We believe she will lure the killer Great Ecuadorian out into the harbor and lead him back to Ecuador. That’s the plan. I’ll take questions.” “How do you know the killer Great Ecuadorian is a male?” a reporter asked. “Males are tinged blue. Females are tinged pink.” “What makes you think the female will lure the male out to Ecuador?’ “Females do that. Ecuador is on the equator. The seas are warm. Our male eel here is undoubtedly stuck here under the ice pretty near

freezing to death. The sight of Greta will cheer him. He will follow her.” “How do you know the male won’t be too big for the sewer pipe?” “No giant male Ecuadorian has ever had a diameter of more than four and a half feet. Male Ecuadorians have been seen upwards of 40 feet. At that length they have a diameter of four and a half feet, maximum. This one is just 36 feet.” “I thought just last week the police said he was 30 feet.” “He was. He is growing. We have been able to image him by satellite.” There was a long silence after that. Then Hamptons Mayor Frank Farrell spoke. “I want you to know that I voted against this plan,” Farrell said. “I believe that, in spite of what the learned professor said here there is the possibility that Greta will just go into Trout Pond and set up housekeeping with our Great Ecuadorian. If she does, and they have babies, and we can’t kill it, what do we do?” “There is absolutely no possibility of that,” Dr. Helmsley said. “Female Ecadorians are one of the few creatures on the planet that have females larger than males. Greta cannot fit through the sewer pipe.” “Mr. Farrell was the only one voting against this plan,” Chief Pasta said. “Look. We have to trust what the Doctor says. He says they’ll go back to Ecuador. That’s what they they’ll do. And that’s what we voted, seven to one.” “Greta is just too big. There is almost no possible chance they would set up housekeeping here,” Dr. Helmsley said. “It is such a remote chance as to be nonexistent almost. They will head out to Ecuador.” “There is a rumor,” a reporter said, “that we are meeting here on Shelter Island because when the eels come out we don’t know how they will get out to open sea.” “That is true,” Chief Pasta said. “It was a juris-

dictional matter. But however it happens, the eel pair will pass either to the north or to the south of Shelter Island. So Shelter Island has taken charge of the problem of whose waters this will be. We voted it to them.” “There are ice floes in Peconic Bay,” a broadcaster said. “We saw them getting here on the ferries from the South Fork and from Greenport. The little ferries bang into them.” “I saw a penguin on one,” a photographer said to much laughter. “So they’ll have something to eat along the way,” Dr. Helmsely said. “Penguins are protected too,” said one of the men from the EPA. “Whatever,” Dr. Helmsley said. “How will we know they have gone back to Ecuador?” someone asked. “Greta has a homing device on her, a beeper. They attached it in Ecuador.” “To what part of her body?” “To her starboard vestigial frontal fin,” to be exact,” Dr. Helmsley said. “I think that’s enough questions,” Hampton Mayor Frank Anton said, “thank you all.” There was a clanging of the folding chairs and a rustling of the coats and scarfs and gloves as the reporters put them on. “When will this happen?” a reporter asked. “Soon,” Chief Pasta said. “We will let you know. It’s not happening now. You’re safe to go home.” “Incidentally,” Mayor Anton said, “I would like to ask you to broadcast or write in this article that all dogs and other pets should be kept close to home. Certainly not anywhere near Trout Pond. Keep them on leashes.” “When the time comes,” Chief Pasta said, “Noyac Road will be blocked off with more than forty police officers. We also hope to have the National Guard.” “Thank you very much,” Mayor Anton said.


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 25 www.danshamptons.com

BUSINESS Givin’ You the

By T.J. Clemente When noted Montauk fisherman Jeff Bline said while at sea, “There are no atheists in a storm,” he probably could have added, “and while on land you better have good homeowners insurance.” After the recent Nor’easter which caused, according to county officials, around $30 million in damages—a number that’s growing daily as more estimates are fine tuned—the fury of weather was manifested. Both LIPA and Con Edison officials said the damages to power lines for this last storm, with wind gusts hitting over 70 miles per hour, actually caused more damage to power lines than Hurricane Gloria in 1985. With misfortune comes opportunity, as many homeowners are using insurer’s money to repair damage to their homes, fences and landscapes. In fact, Bartlett Tree Company, caring for the nation’s trees since 1907, came out to the East End to help clean up the devastation that blanketed the area up through New England after the great hurricane of 1938. This last week, on practically every block, you could hear power saws, and see sections of once mighty trees freshly cut into big thick quarters. An official at one of the oldest homeowner’s insurance firms in East Hampton noted that a lot of the tree damage actually results from trees that needed to be serviced beforehand. With the homeowner being either absent or not focused on getting preventive work done, the storms take care of business in an unsafe, unorganized way. The safety risk, she explained, goes beyond home damage to those living in the home. She recommended having an expert check the trees around your home (and the ones that may fall on a neighbor’s home) regularly. I once lived in a village founded in 1668, where huge oaks lined the streets and sat in every yard. After a huge storm, I saw first hand what happens to a children’s bedroom when a tree falls into it. That day I had all my oaks checked, and had the one near the den, where the kids watch TV, taken down.

Subway

(continued from previous page)

Monday. This sort of behavior will not be tolerated. COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S WEEKLY MESSAGE Myself, my brother Biff and our two wives have been staying since Thursday at the Paradise Island Hotel in the Bahamas, in order to study the elaborate underwater glass subway tunnels that go along the floor of an enormous shark and tropical fish aquarium so subway riders can be entertained by fish and other underwater life swimming close by as they go from station to station. I’ve never heard of anything like this before. This morning we were told the tunnels are not for subway cars but for strollers and tourists. If that turns out to be true, this trip will not be deductible as a business expense and we intend to cut it short. See you soon. But perhaps not.

The Big Business of Big Storms More recently (last weekend) I visited the Home Depot in Patchogue and witnessed the sale of more than 20 chain saws (priced between $75 and $800) while I interviewed a salesperson. They also sold a lot of electric water pumps to get water out of basements due to the high tides that accompanied the two-day windstorm. The fence companies on the East End were impossible to talk to— their response, “too busy, the storm, call back, next week for information.” A new homeowners insurance agent in the East Hampton said he was out almost 16 hours over the weekend of the storm inspecting yards, damaged roofs, a windmill, and garages.

Dear NYC Readers,

B

eginning April 2, Dan’s Papers is moving from free to paid circulation in Manhattan. Those wishing to read the paper in New York will find it available in hundreds of newsstands and stores around the city—not only on the Upper East Side but on the Upper West Side, Wall Street, the Village, SoHo and numerous locations in Brooklyn. The cost will be $2 a copy. A partial list of locations is at the end of this article. This newspaper, which I founded 50 years ago, was conceived and carried out as the first free newspaper in America. At that time, I reasoned that the new medium of television was free to viewers, and I thought that giving readers a newspaper for free was a right protected and encouraged by our country’s constitution. Television, radio, magazines and newspapers were nearly 100%-supported by advertising back then. It seemed to me that advertisers would eagerly embrace a newspaper that would sacrifice the small revenue it received from individual copy sales, in exchange for a wide distribution five or ten times that size. It had never been done before, and it required some explanation for local merchants. But as it turned out, I was right about that. oday, the playing field is very different and so is Dan’s Papers. On the playing field now are dozens of free ways to get information over the Internet. News is transmitted almost instantaneously. As for Dan’s Papers, it has morphed into a work of art on its cover and a whole lot of opinions on the inside, plus a widely ranging guide to activities on the East End. One could not call it a newspaper or even a magazine. I don’t know what you would call it. Perhaps it is just Dan’s Papers, a category unto itself.

It was his first storm and I think he has a new perspective on selling the right coverage. In Sag Harbor, down at one of the marinas right in the village, a sailboat literally blew off its stands and was lying on its side. There were the usual unfortunately parked cars, now serving as a fallen tree rest. The hardware stores in East Hampton and Bridgehampton were typically busy—not uncommon for this time of year as second homeowners come out and get the homes ready for summer rentals or vacations. In fact one couple from Springs said they came out to experience the storm because they love weather, and now they’re starting a month sooner to whip the house into shape.

Dan’s Papers will remain a powerful free newspaper in the community it serves—Montauk, the Hamptons and the North Fork—supported by many eager advertisers. Beyond the gates that close across the Shinnecock Canal every night at midnight, however, it will embrace the new model—with the ads in the paper providing an extra push in New York for those who pay for them. At the same time, we’re asking those who enjoy the Dan’s Papers stories and covers (a copy of the paper on EBay with a signed cover by Peter Max was recently sold for $139) to pay $2.00 per copy. A small note on the front of every issue will read $2 IN NYC. uring this summer, the paper is proudly celebrating its 50th anniversary with all sorts of events, book readings, races, kite flies and parties. $2.00 NYC/Manhattan A second edition of the best selling memoir In the Hamptons: 50 Years with Farmers, Fishermen, Artists, Celebrities, and Billionaires will be out on Memorial Day in all bookstores. It is called, In the Hamptons Too, Further Encounters with Farmers, Fishermen, Artists, Celebrities and Billionaires. There was a bake sale for charity last month at our offices and there have been two art gallery exhibits of this author’s cartoons—one at the Wintertree Gallery in Sag Harbor and a current showing at the Stony Brook Southampton college library to continue for a month—and, later this summer, there will be an art auction for charity of original paintings by Dan’s Papers cover artists—Peter Max being one. On the left is the list of where to find Dan’s Papers in New York City. Thank you for reading and enjoying Dan’s Papers.

D

2 in NYC

$

T

-Dan Rattiner, Founder

For the list of locations where Dan’s Papers will be available for $2.00 Please go to:

www.danshamptons.com/nyc

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 26 www.danshamptons.com

The Sheltered Islander Jesse James Rides Roughshod Again... I’ve been a big Sandra Bullock fan for years— ever since The Net. It was one of the first films where the heroine didn’t need rescuing rom Prince Charming because she outsmarted her nemesis all by herself. I loved it. Now, while she probably hasn’t even landed from her Oscar-win high, she’s slammed to the depths by the person she loved and lauded on every talk show since she married him: Jesse James. We all thought he was a stand up guy. Tattooed and intense, espousing to be a reformed alcoholic, he won us all over with what appeared to be unshakable integrity. And now, with his recent admission of an affair with a woman who is so tattooed (she even has a tattoo on her forehead), he rends his carefully crafted “bad boy gone good man” in twain. He’s like Peter Cook, the moron who cheated on Christie Brinkley. I guess for Sandra, like dear Christie, it’s not enough to be beautiful, have a flawless figure, be a millionairess, be on the A-list, and—the capper—by all accounts be a genuinely decent and moral person. I can only imagine the pain Sandra is feeling today. After praising him in her acceptance speech, today she must feel a ton of humiliation on top of the hurt. What does a woman have to do to be enough for a man? I asked myself that, but then it occurred to me, that’s the wrong perspective. I think we should ask why can’t a man realize when good is good enough? What’s wrong? She doesn’t look like the girl

you married? How close do you look like the guy she married? Did you allow your body to be stretched and ravaged by pregnancy with rotten kids that now only want money and car keys? What’s wrong? She doesn’t cook gourmet? Why is that? She couldn’t find the time to study gourmet cooking between working full time, wrangling kids, making sure your bait was thawed by morning, and doing household chores? What’s wrong? She’s not a freak in the bedroom? Did you shower before you got in bed? When was the last time you saw a dentist? Were you considerate all day today, or did you just start being nice at 9 p.m.? Do you still think she’s turned on by a disgusting porn tape, or have you finally realized she’s just pretending for your sake? What’s wrong? She doesn’t make enough money so you can pay all the bills and get all the toys? Apparently no woman can make enough money for a man. If Christie and Sandra can’t do it, none of us can. What’s wrong? She doesn’t get along with your mother? YOU don’t get along with your mother. You’ve just put it on your wife to be the buffer, meaning whipping boy, between the two of you. When your Mom calls, do you signal your wife to give you the phone or wave her off and dive for the nearest exit, because you don’t your mother asking you questions that always lead to her giving you advice that you know you won’t? What’s wrong? She left you “for no good reason, I didn’t do anything.”

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And that’s the problem. You didn’t do anything. Good unions, straight or gay, happen when you both realize that you can find 100 people with qualities you like. The trick is finding a partner with bad qualities you can stand. Don’t want more, choose what you have. Unless the issues are major, like addiction or similar, work to stay together. Somewhere I heard a great saying; “There’s no perfect fit in an off the rack world.” Good luck Sandra. You have a lot of women in your corner.

SH Beach

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ion in the village, is. Smokers may not light up within 50 yards of that beach’s concessions stand, building, deck, and handicapped accessible ramps, also from 9 to 5. Interestingly, if this law is passed, people will be able to walk from the beach, past the pavilion and to their cars with clothing failing to cover between the top of the areola and the point midway between the hip and the knee, but, on this journey, will be banned from smoking. Once they get past the 50-yard boundary, however, the reverse will become true. They must wear the more modest clothing that the village calls for, but they can light up. The law proposing the smoking ban was passed on March 23. There will be several public hearings, and there is the hope among the trustees that the ban can be voted into law before the start of the summer tourist season.

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 27 www.danshamptons.com

The Hamptons Ranks High on Barron’s List By T.J. Clemente The vacation home is where you go when you want to get away from home. It’s often the beacon around which the whole family rallies, or where one goes solo just to think. The primo vacation homes are usually close to an ocean, a lake, the mountains or even the desert. Proximity to a favorite golf course or tennis facility may be de riguer, but one thing it always has is a special worth beyond the reality of its value as an investment. Recently, Barron’s published its list of the Top Ten Locations for vacation homes. Needless to say, Hawaii’s Maui ranked first— even with home prices there plunging 27%. I suppose sitting on your porch watching a rainbow over a volcanic ocean beachfront, wearing shorts, T-shirt and sipping a frozen drink must still have panache. Right after Maui, ranked Number 2, was the resilient Kiawah Island, South Carolina, where homes dropped reportedly 21%. And at Number 3, close to the money pits of the alleys that make up Wall Street, is the venerable Hamptons, which singer/songwriter Rod Stewart described as, “A group of so many amazing towns, they gave them all just one name.” The Wall Street Journal said Hampton homes were down 30% from their peak prices, however the median home price remains at a respectable $1.5 million with, shall we say, lots of upward mobility on the up side. Consider the beautiful $39.5 million listed home off of Georgica I visited last month, juxtaposed to an

under $300,000 home, a recent new listing in the Springs. With the lucky few still bagging those record bonuses on Wall Street, there have been some great buys in recent times— one Southampton broker closed on eight homes over $4.5 million each. She’s having no trouble paying her Cadillac health plan premium this year. For the rest of the real estate agents, it’s not just business as usual but the optimism of a stable, if not climbing, market bouncing off the ouches of two years of instability, stillness and moneyless months. Whenever I talked to the seasoned brokers or firm presidents, like Peter Turino, of Brown, Harris, Stevens or Judi Desiderio of Town and Country, I always admire both their confidence in the Hamptons real estate market and their awe of its backbone. Last year, when the world seemed to be coming to an economic end, Bridgehampton National Bank CEO Kevin O’Connor sat in the bank’s boardroom during an interview and pointed at the Atlantic Ocean. While voicing concern at the time, he said he wasn’t worried long-term, saying “That ocean is why the East End will always be a solid investment for a vacation home.” And since its their season now, I must mention Palm Beach, the land of shopping Worth Avenue or playing golf at the Breakers, not to mention the courts at Palm Beach Bath and Tennis. It came in seventh place as perhaps the old money is, well, growing too old. I remember a wedding at the church Bethesda

by the Sea, on an 88 degree day, as an elderly Dutch Shell oil heiress, wearing a full length mink coat and Treetorn sneakers, was carried in by her chauffer. There was a lot of Florida on the bottom of the Top Ten with eighth place going to Captiva-Sanibel Island, and tenth place going to Gasparilla Island on the Southwest Florida coast where the median home price had fallen 18%—to $1.8 million (again according to Barron’s via WSJ.) As for the Hamptons the phrase is “as goes Wall Street goes the Hampton’s real estate market.” With those still left standing at the key firms, the bonuses were robust this year so there will be some more splashes to be announced before the summer season begins. High-end seasonal as well as year-round rentals are filling nicely. A rising tide raises all boats, so hopefully, once again things will soon be in a positive float. Inventory numbers are still on the high side, but time on the market is coming down for properly price homes. The new market is being put together without the fraudulent highflying nonverification jumbo loans that cooked the last market, which means properties are moving into stronger hands. The truth is, with train and Luxury Liner access to the city, as well as car and for the few fortunate, the helicopter or private plane, the Hamptons is a vacation home location that is quickly accessed, meaning more time at your home away from home. It’s also a wise investment.

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WADING RIVER Dorothy Mullen to Joseph Loccisano, 73 Broad View Circle, 530,000

WAINSCOTT Jordan & Lindsay Beck to Kelly & Shawn Robbins, 15 Cowhill Lane, 999,999

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 28 www.danshamptons.com

Arts & Entertainment

Honoring the Artist: Joanne Rosko This week’s cover featuring Accabonac Harbor by Joanne Rosko is certainly a welcome after the long, hard winter. The Harbor is not only a familiar image for those who live here but also a promise of spring. Rosko’s images generally convey an expectation of what is possible in nature from a literal and figurative perspective. The nature scenes are real, yet they are loaded with emotional intensity, such images are both objective observations and subjective introspection. Consider settings like Louse Point, Sagaponack’s Hedges Lane or a boat at the edge of the Bay (“At Rest”) where the eye is led out

beyond the horizon. Along the way, the viewer experiences the cool water, sweet grasses and muddy marshes. Q: You paint out-of-doors when you can which is still a treasured oddity. Tell us about the experiences you had at Accabonac Harbor. A: I went at least a dozen times to paint this image, I’ve gone at different times of the day and in the snow. I’ve also painted from different angles. I don’t always finish the painting on site in the winter. I have them two thirds done. Q: Which works do you decide to finish in the studio? A: Whichever ones evoke a feeling. When I see

the image, if I can remember how I felt when I was painting it, that’s the one I finish. I don’t go by photographs that I took. I can usually remember what was happening at the time, what I ate that day. Q: Where are your favorite places to paint? A: I like to paint from the dunes on the Bay, on Sunday mornings. Q: Besides the Bay, what are some other favorite subjects? A: Wineries, like Wolffer Estate Vineyards which I paint from two different views. You get kind of a more abstract feeling due to the rows of grapes. I also enjoy Palmer Vineyards in the North Fork. A good friend’s daughter got married there, and I gave her a painting of the vineyard. That meant a lot to both of us. Q: I bet you paint other scenes that mean a lot to you. A: Yes, like Agawam Park where my children used to play. Q: You were a landscape gardener for a long time. How and why did you get into art? A: I went back to school for Early Childhood Education and took an art course as part of the program. I had so much fun doing it. That course opened my eyes to how I feel when I painted. Q: Were there other influences? A: I can remember wanting to be an artist since the time I went to my first museum. Q: How about your parents? Did they have an impact? A: My mother was a nurse and wrote poetry. She was into crafts, she was always making things. My mother was encouraging. She’d always say, “You can do what you want.” Q: How about your experiences with nature and how that influenced you? A: I got interested in nature when I majored in landscape and when I grew up in upstate New York. I’m from another generation. We were never bored even if we didn’t have a T.V. We weren’t pushed from one activity to another. We could look at nature close-up. I have been exposed to so many forms of nature. Q: How do you think you’ll change in the future? A: I’ll get more loose, let go of the realism. But it takes effort. I may begin that way, to let go. Then I’m in my own world. –Marion Wolberg Weiss Ms. Rosko will be in the Plein Air Peconic show this summer at the Southampton Historic Society, “Preserving Our Heritage.” Her website is web.mac.com/Joanne Rosko

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www.danshamptons.com


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 29 www.danshamptons.com

House Home guide Using Color to Bolster Spring Cleaning I have collected from magazines over the years and keep in ring binders. Although I am now quite facile with the Internet, I still prefer these binders because it represents a wonderful array of designers from past to present. I adore the rooms of Billy Baldwin, Miles Redd, Charlotte Moss, Dorothy Draper, Barbara Southerland, Albert Hadley, Bunny Williams, Sister Parish, Elsie de Wolfe and David Hicks. In many of these rooms color is a predominate theme that frames and defines the space. I am immediately drawn to a room Billy Baldwin designed in the 1950s and note the freshness of the blue and green combination, which is still relevant and could very well be in a magazine spread today. There is a timelessness to a well-designed room with smart color choices. Of course, we all know how poor color choices can set the design in the wrong direction. Dull, overly dark or bright, muddy or simply the wrong combinations for a particular space, can overpower or fall flat. To help understand how a particular color will

Tamara Matthews-Stephenson is an interior designer, freelance writer and blogger of Nest by Tamara at http://nestnestnest.blogspot.com.

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By Tamara Matthews-Stephenson Spring is just around the corner, and recently Mother Nature has gifted us with glimpses of what is yet to come in the months ahead. It is refreshing to enjoy a beautiful sunny day after enduring such a harsh winter. I anticipate the tiny flower buds that will soon peek from under the soil, remembering that Spring is the season where the East End shines. As I survey my tired yard, I realize there is another month before I can start digging in the dirt and preparing my garden. I cringe at the brown patch beyond the picket fence, knowing the only preparation for now is watering the little boxes of plants sunning on my window sill. Soon enough, they’ll be sprouting and I will transport them outside. In the meantime, I have that nagging feeling many of us get this season to clean closets and inject light into my home. I focus my energy on sprucing up my nest with a new coat of paint in two rooms, changing the colors. I just finished choosing a color scheme for a client’s home in Manhattan, so I have the fresh memory of how this tranformed the apartment. Painting is a relatively inexpensive way to freshen up a home, so I pull out my color wheel and begin the adventure. One of the factors that inspired me to become a decorator is the feeling I get when entering a room where all the elements fit together nicely. Color is a powerful theme that weaves throughout many well-designed homes, and if chosen carefully, the color choices define the space. The right hue helps create the intended ambience and draws you in. Consistent with my design philosophy, I go for classic appeal and avoid trendy concepts. I ask, “Is this a room that my client or I can live in today, or in 10 years?” I pick my colors – orange for an equestrianinspired bedroom with brown and tan accessories, and a mellow blue for a well-lit guest bedroom. I thumb through my collection of favorite rooms that

work in a room, I opt for a few boards painted in different choices, and rather than set against a white wall, scatter them in various areas of the room to view during different times of day (and different light). I recently changed a guest bedroom for a client from a taupe to a lovely apple green. The pretty boxwood that grazed outside the window began to sparkle, set against the lighter shade of green on the walls. Somewhere else the taupe would have been a lovely choice, but in this particular space it was dull. It feels as if the entire room has been re-decorated. With my blue and orange paint swatches in hand, I head out the door. I plan to buy small cans of paint in various colors and a few boards for each room to begin my “spring cleaning” project, because, quite frankly, I will do anything to avoid cleaning my closets. Happy Spring!


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 30 www.danshamptons.com

pet agree By Jenna Robbins

House Home guide

Recognizing When a Dog is in Crisis A few weeks ago, by way of e-mail, I received an invitation to the “Animal Lovers Lecture Series” at the University of Pennsylvania Veterinary School and Hospital. I could not resist this one. Actually I couldn’t wait to go, and now I can share some of what I learned, with you. The lecture was hosted by Dr. Erika L. Reineke, Assistant Professor of Emergency and Critical Care. Dr. Reineke dedicates her practice to treating life threatening conditions. I took a seat in the front row of the lecture hall, as close to her as possible, with the excitement of a kid on their first day of school. Most of the information pertains to dogs, so anyone who loves and cares for a canine family member…this is for you!

There are always signs to look for and be aware of, that can help you help your dog in a health crisis. To start with be aware of your dog’s mentation and responsiveness. Is Chester acting normal? Is he not his “usual” self? Does he refuse to eat, drink or play? Is he drinking excessively? Is he pacing and can’t seem to find a comfortable place to rest? Does he seem confused? This information is a general reference for the purpose of stimulating and enhancing your awareness. My goal is to interest you in asking your veterinarian to show you exactly what to look for and how to look for it, if you believe your dog’s health is questionable. In addition, the following is a list of vital signs and things we can check for.

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1. BODY TEMPERATURE A. Should be 100.5 – 102.5 B. Should be taken with a rectal thermometer – NOT MERCURY. Get a rectal digital thermometer. You can also use it under your dog’s armpit. 2. DEHYDRATION A. Check your dog’s gums. They should be pink. Abnormal coloring would appear to be red, brown, yellow, white or blue. This does not include black or liver stained pigmentation of normal healthy gums. B. Check for a 2 second blanching responsiveness by pressing inside the lip with your finger. C. Check your dog’s skin by tenting the skin over your dog’s neck and back. The skin should go back into place immediately. (An example would be like pulling the skin on the back of your hand). 3. HEART RATE A. Should be 60 beats per minute for large dogs B. Should be 140 beats per minute for small dogs C. Heart rate can be checked by placing your fingers on your dog’s groin or on his chest where it meets his elbow, in the same manor you would check your own pulse. 4. RESPIRATORY A. Your dog’s breathing rate should be 12-24 breaths per minute. B. He should not be panting excessively nor panting without obvious reason. (Cat’s should NOT pant.) C. His breathing should be quiet and show no signs of wheezing, congestion or obstruction. The following are what I call “GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM” signs. This list is by no means complete but will hopefully helpful. 1. Effort to inhale or exhale 2. Standing with head or neck extended 3. Unable to lie down 4. Panicked expression 5. Blue gums 6. Noisy breathing 7. Unrelenting vomiting a. Cannot keep food or water down b. Fresh blood in vomit or appearance of coffee grounds 8. Non-productive vomiting 9. Salivating 10. Distended abdomen 11. Numbers 8 and 9 and 10 can be signs of Bloat (Gastric Dilation and Volvulus) the second leading killer of dogs…Do not wait! 12. Unrelenting diarrhea or fresh blood 13. Swelling of the face 14. Uncontrollable shaking 15. Unable to stand Dr. Reineke’s lecture included some helpful “What To Do If’s”, and I will include them in this column but Dr. Reineke’s rule and Jenna’s rule is “If in doubt, PLEASE call your veterinarian, emergency animal service or poison control. KEEP THOSE PHONE NUMBERS HANDY. Mouth to Mouth resuscitation for human to canine would be…Mouth to nose. Hold your dog’s muzzle and breathe into his nose approximately 30 breaths per minute. For allergic reactions you can administer Benadryl, 1 mg/lb. If your dog has ingested something, do not induce vomiting if the object or substance is caustic, acid, petroleum based or sharp. Call poison control if there is any doubt. If you must induce vomiting, you can do so by administering 1 teaspoon or 5 ml. of hydrogen peroxide per 10lbs body weight. Yes, it is extremely difficult to get your dog to swal(continued on next page)


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 31 www.danshamptons.com

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 32 www.danshamptons.com

House Home guide

Earthly Delights

By April Gonzales

Establish Order, Recycle, Replant Some things just need to be put away, like the cross country skis that have been standing next to the door since the last snowfall. Some stuff has to go, we discovered an old pair of bay booties that the dog dragged outside and chewed on in peace under a shrub. But then there are a few things that I need to re-evaluate not because I am feeling sentimental and can’t bear to part with them, but because they could be useful or recycled. A friend got me off to a good start by giving me a beautiful basket of white Hellebores for my birthday that are gracing the kitchen table. So I tossed two amaryllis bulbs out along with a straggly pointsettia, the little terra cotta pots that they were in may make it over to the ARF thrift shop though. I don’t like having things that could potentially be useful sometime in the future hanging around waiting for their moment to shine again. It is time for those spring bulbs that wake up the senses with colors and fragrance. I reused a basket that I had been thinking of getting rid of. It showed up one day with a different friend full of some dinner contribution, so I gave it another chance and potted up some white hyacinths to brighten up an indoor spot. Then I continued the clean sweep outside. The boxwoods that were great for the entire winter were taken out and planted in the ground. The depressing dead evergreen holly and magnolia sprays were banished to the compost pile. The only thing that remains in the pots from the winter are some sprays of eucalyptus that have come through the winter in great condition and they are still fragrant. There was an interesting period during the thaw when they dripped green dye onto the snow, but they seem as fresh as the

So that we could get some of this done, our tools had to be sharpened, oiled and cleaned, a chore in itself. While digging around and fixing a compacted piece of the lawn an old expensive spade fork snapped. It was a really good one, stainless steel tines with a hard plastic handle that finally just separated itself from the head of the spade fork. We decided that recycling was the best route to go as the man who fixed old tools has retired. But when my husband came across that he took me to task for being overzealous. That can be fixed he informed me and rescued it from the pile of things to go. It may not get done for two months, but he does have a good point and I can allow at least one thing to be spared the urge to purge.

day I bought them. I am going to get some more to make the planters look fuller. This was a last minute idea that seems to be lasting through both winter and spring to everyone’s delight. One decision I finally made though was to eliminate a topiary juniper that had been in one of the pots for way too long. My husband had hinted more than once that he did not like it and that it was really time to get rid of it. I had rescued it from a parking lot sale and quite frankly it was not to my taste so out it came after numerous years of indecision, and off it goes making room for something more interesting. To cheer myself up and usher in spring we put pansies, hyacinths, broom, heathers and andromedas in the pots, which we can see through the windows or pass directly by on our way into the house. Seashells were re-glued onto pots where they had fallen off and the sticks from the storm gathered up while we edged the beds. Order was beginning to be established.

Petagree

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low medicine on a spoon so be prepared for emergencies and add a syringe (minus the needle) to your first aid kit. You can get one from your veterinarian. Last but not least, here are some “DON’T FEED THESE TO YOUR DOG” 1. grapes or raisins 2. chocolate-especially bakers or dark 3. drinks or food containing caffeine 4. onions 5. macadamia nuts 6. avocados 7. bread dough 8. products with xylitol (for example, gum) The lecture concluded with more questions than I expected but Dr. Reineke answered them all with the best veterinary medical advice possible coupled with a genuine and obvious love for her profession and concern for those patients she has yet to meet.

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House Home guide

Crank up the Heat, or Cool Down the Joint evaluate your entire building to determine where it is loosing efficiency. He or she can then offer you information on what you can do about it and give you an estimate on how much you will save in heating costs. In the long run, GallettAir can save you thousands of dollars in heating costs. This service is definitely worth looking into if you own a home. They offer free written no obligation estimates. All work is performed by their own service and installation technicians, and they pride themselves for not using sub contractors. GallettAir Inc. also specializes in affordable parts and labor service agreements that include a True 24 Hour Emergency Service. You can contact GallettAir Inc.at 631-594-3563 or visit their website at www.gallettair.com.

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By David Lion Rattiner One of the most important aspects of your home is the heating and airconditioning system. Without a good heating system in a home, nearly everything is vulnerable to major damage, especially during the winter time. Water is an enemy of a home, and if your pipes burst because your heating system fails, everything from your walls to your floors will be in need of some serious repair. Air conditioning in the summer time is a matter of human comfort. Airconditioning can be argued as one of the best inventions mankind has ever developed in terms of improving life quality. Not having a good airconditioning system in your home can lead to late nights with no sleep and to uncomfortable hot rooms during the day. There is a business known as GallettAir, which has

27 years of experience in installing and maintaining heating and air-conditioning systems in Nassau and Suffolk counties. The company opened their second location in Hampton Bays and have a strong reputation. They specialize in all phases of heating and air conditioning service and installations including all makes of heat pump systems. GallettAir Inc. has been providing honest reliable and quality services to all of Long Island for over 27 years. GallettAir Inc. is fully licensed, insured and bonded and they are a member of the Better Business Bureau. All of their work is fully guaranteed. Some of what they offer includes residential and commercial heating, high efficiency forced air gas, propane and oil furncaces, hydronic systems, boilers and baseboard systems. For air conditioning systems they can handle it all from heat pumps, air cooled and geothermal systems, packaged units like gas/electric and commercial systems, hot water heaters both tank and tankless systems. Beside service, repairs, maintainace and installations, they also do indoor air quality systems, air filtration systems and UV systems as well as sheet metal fabrication and air duct cleaning. To have such an experienced business open up in the Hamptons with such a strong reputation for service is always a good thing, especially when it comes to the heating and air conditioning business. The company also specializes in energy efficiency, having the ability to determine where your home could be saving money on its heating costs. With the ever rising cost of natural resources like oil, it’s important that all homeowners look into ways they could be saving on heating costs. GallettAir sends an onsite consultant to your home at an affordable rate who can


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 35 www.danshamptons.com

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 36 www.danshamptons.com

House Home guide

Improving the “Chi” of Your Home By David Lion Rattiner As Jerry Seinfeld would say, “What is the deal with Feng Shui?” Well I’m glad you asked. Just the words Feng Shui themselves are a major accomplishment. The phrase has stood the test of time for over 3,000 years to keep a healthy and happy home environment. Translated into English, the two words mean Wind Water. In Chinese cultures, wind and water are associated with good health, good fortune and happiness. Why wouldn’t you want to bring this into your home? We get the philosophy of turning your home into a happy place, but what are the details? What does

Feng Shui preach in terms of action? The Chinese believe that the world is made up of "Chi" or energy. Depending upon how that energy flows, the outcome could be good or bad, particularly inside a home. This philosophy is applied in acupuncture healing, where needles are used to guide your energy in a healthier way. A Feng Shui consultant will use something called a "lo-pan" and the "Ba-Gua," to do an analysis of a home. The Ba-Gua is an octagonal grid containing the symbols of the I Ching, the ancient oracle on which Feng Shui is based. In a nutshell, the Feng Shui consultant will start turning the “Chi” in your home from a negative to a positive, thus curing

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your home and bringing health and happiness into your life. One of the first things that Feng Shui addresses is the amount of natural light a home gets and the air quality of the home. The more natural light the better, and of course, air quality is viewed as extremely important, thus the addition of plants into a Feng Shui home. A home that does not have a lot of natural light can be fitted with full-spectrum light bulbs that will enhance the lighting quality. A Feng Shui consultant will also check how your front and backdoors line up. If your front door is directly in line with the backdoor of your house, this is viewed as a big negative because the Chi in your home goes in through the front and gets sent out the back. A way of solving this problem is by adding a large plant or obstacle in between the two doors to help block the Chi. This is a big principle in Feng Shui and one should always look to make sure that your front and back doors do not align. A consultant will also make a huge effort to create a joyous and happy space within your home. This is done through the use of many easy-to-find items that many people simply forget to add to their homes. Such things as light music, running waterfalls, wind chimes, bright colors, flowers and plants are all a big part of activating happiness in your life and brining in positive Chi. A simple way to Feng Shui up your house is to purchase indoor plants or an electronic waterfall that can be purchased at just about any home goods store. The colors of your home are also important with Feng Shui and it is based on your birth elements, which can be calculated by visiting any Feng Shui website or by purchasing a Feng Shui book. Your birth element can determine what colors you should make your home according to Feng Shui. For example, if you are an earth element, then the colors of your home should be painted with light yellow, beige and other various earthy/sand colors. If you are a metal element, then Feng Shui recommends you use gray and white colors in your home.


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 37 www.danshamptons.com

XÜÜ? T ÑtÜxÇà

House Home guide

By Susan Galardi

Pesticides & Hormones: Think Before you Spray and let them fly away home. Yellow jackets? If they’re inside, I hit them with quadruple layers of wet paper towel, tie it up in a plastic bag and throw it in the outdoor trash. If they’re flying in and out of any type of opening on the exterior of my house where there appears to be a nest – well, it’s Jim’s Busy Bee. Both and our son are I am allergic to their venom. The swarming ants? Annoying, but harmless. I know from coming out here 25 years that these too shall pass. That’s basically my strategy. If it doesn’t pose a serious threat to my family’s health (grubs that destroy lawns, chipmunks that lived in a sophisticate underground maze around my pool), I try to live with it or deal with it in the most nontoxic, un-harmful way possible. But there’s one menace that I’ve had to take a more aggressive stance with: ticks. We live in a neighborhood with a high concentration of deer. I was treated for Lyme’s last summer. Our son likes to play outside, I like to garden. So what do we do about these insects that carry such serious illnesses? I spray. But I opt for the organic stuff. I do this for many reasons, and urge you to investigate organics if Beth Troy

Spring on the East End is amazing. The birds are singing (as opposed to calling), little pastel green things are budding, and the plagues are beginning. Yes, plagues. All of a sudden, millions of insects of any given species hatch and POW! A plague of biblical proportions. Last weekend it was male ants. Zillions of them swarming in the yard. My son and his friend were undaunted. I was disgusted. In addition, a yellow jacket was in the playroom on Saturday, and every day for a week, I’ve been finding at least one ladybug in the windowsill above the kitchen sink or right in it. After many years in the city, where no insect of any type was welcomed (I once darted out of my own apartment down to 81 St. when a palmetto bug flew in through an open window), my first instinct is to reach for the swatter, heavy boot or spray. Then we had a child. Spiders? Can’t scream like a girl and kill them anymore, not unless I wanted to give our little boy a complex (as my mother would say). No, I’ll gather them somehow into a glass and free them. Now that our son is older, I explain, after squishing it, “Honey, the problem is that most spiders are good, but some – like the brown recluse that April Gonzales wrote about that gives people big, hideous, oozing sores – are really poisonous. I can’t take a chance.” Squish. Ladybugs? That’s easy. Just get them to crawl onto a napkin (so you don’t hurt their delicate lady legs)

spraying is a route you must take. First, there’s proof that the pesticides that kill ticks also cause cancer in humans. Second, some pesticides and chemicals in lawn fertilizer cause other problems. There’s a very strange, disturbing illness in children called Central Precocious Puberty (CPP). Children afflicted with it develop secondary sexual characteristics of early puberty – facial hair on boys, breasts on young girls, pubic hair for both genders – by the ages of 8 or 9. Early puberty can put girls at higher risk of sexual abuse, and subject girls and boys to teasing or bullying and mental health disorders. One of the causes of CPP is chemicals that fall under the category of endocrine disrupters, found in pesticides and lawn fertilizer. They disrupt the normal production of hormones. (Also, BPA, the chemical found in most plastic bottles, has also been linked. If you’re still giving kids plastic bottles and especially plastic containers of food, switch to metal.) Almost every pest control company out here offers less toxic alternatives to pesticides for mosquitoes and ticks. It’s something to consider while your children are children, and before they mature even sooner than we’d like.

Kid’s Calendar FRIDAY, MARCH 26 GOAT ON A BOAT – “Puppet Play Groups” 9:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. for children 3 and under and their grown-ups at Goat on a Boat Theater, 4 East Union Street in Sag Harbor. 631-725-4193. goatonaboat.org KIDS KNEAD CHALLAH –Challah bread-making, songs, Kiddush juice-making, and grand children’s raffle. 5:30 p.m. Free, no affiliation necessary. Chabad of Southampton, 214 Hill St. 631-287-2249. MONTAUK PLAYHOUSE – Youth program for grades 9 -12, Montauk Playhouse. 7 to 9 p.m., located at 240 Edgemere Street, Mtk. 631-668-1124. montaukplayhouse.org SATURDAY, MARCH 27 GOAT ON A BOAT – “The Chicken Show” puppet show by Liz Joyce at 11 a.m. and 3 p.m., at the Theatre, 4 East Union Street, Sag Harbor. 631-725-4193. goatonaboat.org CHILDREN’S ART WORKSHOP 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. $20. Golden Eagle 14 Gingerbread Lane, EH. 631-324-0603. LIL COWPOKES PONY CLUB – Learn about animals and how to ride a pony. Taking place from 10 a.m. to noon for ages 3 and up at Amaryllis Farm Equine Rescue, located at 93 Merchants Path in Southampton 631-537-7335. MONTAUK PLAYHOUSE – Skills and drills basketball 10:30 a.m. to 11 a.m. for children K-1; and 11:30 a.m. -12:30 p.m. for grades 2-3. Youth sports night 6 - 7:30 p.m. for grades 3 and 4; and 7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. for grades 5 to 8. 240 Edgemere Street, Mtk 631-668-1124 montaukplayhouse.org MOVIE NIGHT AT THE ROSS SCHOOL – Ages 6 to 13, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. Pizza, popcorn and refreshments served. $25 per child. 18 Goodfriend Drive, EH. 631-907-5162. SPOTTED SALAMANDER SEARCH – South Fork Natural History Museum 7:30p.m. 631-537-9735 sofo.org SUNDAY, MARCH 28 PETTING FARM AT AMARYLLIS SANCTUARY –Love animals? Especially rescued ones? Visit Octaveous and Sir Lancelot, the potbelly piggies; Binky the mini burro, and others! From 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. at 93 Merchants Path, off Sagg Road in Sagaponack. Entrance fee is $5. 631-537-7335. MONDAY, MARCH 29 BAY STREET THEATRE KIDS THEATRE CAMP – today through April 2. Contact Whitney Mastropierro 631725-0818 ext. 102 to register, baystreet.org CHESS FOR BEGINNERS – 3:15-4:45 p.m. for children

5 to 9, Ross Lower School, 739 Butter Lane, Bridgehampton. Through June 7, 2010. 631-907-5555. ross.org KIDSAYA YOGA CLASS - 3:45p.m. to 4:45 p.m. for children 6 to 10 at KamaDeva Yoga, 66 Newtown Lane, E. H. $18 drop-in/$120 10 classes 631-604-1382 kamadevayoga.com AFTER SCHOOL TODDLER PROGRAMS –The Parrish Art Museum. Registration required: call 631-2832118, ext. 30 to register. Located at 25 Jobs Lane in Southampton. Spring Vacation Workshops through April 2, 631-283-2118 ext. 30 to register. parrishart.org BUNNIES – and more at the Westhampton Beach Library. 4:30 p.m. For children ages 3 to 5 with a parent or caregiver. Come hear a bunny story and meet a new furry creature. 631-288-3335 x10 wham.suffolk.lib.ny.us TUESDAY, MARCH 30 ROGERS MEMORIAL LIBRARY – “Tuesdays with Teens” 4 to 5p.m. Ages 11 and up. 91 Coopers Farm Road, Southampton 631-283-0774 myrml.org AMY’S ARK STUDIO AND FARM – “Art of Life Childrens’ Classes” 4 to 5 p.m. every Tue./Wed./Thur. 10 Hollow Lane, Westhampton 631-288-3587 WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31 ROGERS MEMORIAL LIBRARY – Yoga – 6 to 7p.m. ages 11 and up, 91 Cooper Farm Road, Southampton. 631283-0774 myrml.org THURSDAY, APRIL 1 MATH MYSTERIES WITH MITCH – for children 8 and up, 2p.m. Hampton Library, 2478 Montauk Highway, Bridgehampton. Register: 631-537-0015 hamptonlibrary.org FOUNDATIONS I & II – see March 25 FRIDAY, APRIL 2 QUOGUE LIBRARY – “Pixie Play” 10:30a.m. to 11:30a.m. for ages 1 1/2 to 4 1/2 years and their caregivers, 90 Quogue St, Quogue. 631-653-4224 Though April 9 quoguelibrary.org SLEEPING BEAUTY - Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center presents Spring School Vacation Musical Theatre Camp production at 7p.m., 76 Main Street, Westhampton Beach $15, 631-288-1500 whbpac.org ONGOING CMEE – Children’s Museum of the East End. Interactive

exhibits, arts and science-based programs and workshops and special events. Located at 376 Bridge/Sag Turnpike in Bridgehampton. Admission is $7 for non-members, members free 631-537-8250; cmee.org . GOAT ON A BOAT – Puppet shows and programs for young children. Route 114 and East Union St. in Sag Harbor. 631-725-4193 goatonaboat.org. SOUTH FORK NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM (SOFO) – Hours are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., 7 days a week, yearround. A walk through the museum is like taking a nature hike. Museum provides “field guide” for exhibits, 377 Bridge/Sag Turnpike, Bridgehampton 631-537-9735 sofo.org SOUTHAMPTON YOUTH SERVICES – Daily kids’ programs in sports, dance and more. 631-287-1511. YOUTH ADVISORY COMMITTEE – Sponsored by the Town of Southampton Youth Bureau to give kids a voice in town government. 631-702-2425 SOUTHAMPTON TOWN WORKSHOPS – Call 631728-8585 to register for classes. MUSIC TOGETHER BY THE DUNES – Music/movement program for children ages 1-month to 5 and their caregivers. Call for locations around Southampton. 631-764-4180. STORYTIMES HAMPTON LIBRARY– Saturdays, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., stories and musicmaking for kids ages 4 to 7. Stories, rhymes and songs on Tues., Thurs., Sat. from 10 a.m., for kids ages 6 months to 3. Registration required. 2478 Main Street in Bridgehampton. 631-537-0015 hamptonlibrary.org JOHN JERMAIN LIBRARY – 201 Main Street in Sag Harbor. 631-725-0049. johnjermain.org ROGERS MEMORIAL LIBRARY – Stories Tues. at 4:30 for kids K - 2nd grade. Lap-time Thurs. at 11:15 for 18 to 36 month-olds. Fri. songs/stories for kids ages 1 month and up at 11:15 a.m., Mother Goose Monday program for 1-17month-olds, 10:30 a.m., 91 Coopers Farm Rd in Southampton. 631-287-6539 myrml.org

For totally complete, up-to-the-minute listings, go to

danshamptons.com click on: Calendar


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 38 www.danshamptons.com

Life S tyle Raving Beauty

By Janet Flora

Colon Hydrotherapy, for Better Looks and Health

Could clearer skin, easier weight maintenance, overall wellbeing and better looks be as simple as improving the health of your colon? Mae West credited her vitality and lasting beauty to colon hydrotherapy. It has been reported that Princess Diana was an outspoken advocate of colon cleansing and credited the treatment with curing her fatigue, allergies, infections and migraines. Colon hydrotherapy, colon cleansing, or colonic irrigation is a practice used to flush away the excess waste in the colon. AltMD.com states: “Colon hydrotherapy reached the United States in the 1920s and ‘30s. During that time colonic irrigation machines were used in hospitals and doctors’ offices.” But today it’s a practice that you find mostly used by holistic and alternative heath care professionals. There are two commonly used methods of colon irrigation: the closed system and the open system. The open system, commonly known as the Libbe system, is FDA approved. This system allows the client

more privacy, and there is less involvement from the therapist. The closed system, which is the more traditional system, has been in use for decades and requires constant supervision of the therapist. This is often referred to as The Woods Gravity Technique. To find out more about this technique I spoke to Philomena Papirnik of Heath of 57th at 448 West 57 Street in Manhattan. Papirnik, who first studied Ayurvedic Medicine at the Ayurvedic Institute in Albuquerque, New Mexico, has been a colon therapist practicing the Woods technique for over nine years. “By using the Woods Gravity method, I can individualize each treatment,” she said. Unlike the open method, Woods Gravity is not a one size fits all for each client. In fact, Papirnik has on occasion turned a client away if she discovers that what they need, want and or expect is something that she is unable to deliver. She has referred clients to physicians or suggested they see one before beginning treatment. But this does not happen too often

since most of her clients are regulars, or have researched both the treatment and the therapist. “In the hour-plus treatment time that I spend with a client, I am listening to them throughout the session to work with them, not just on them,” she said. One of Papirnik’s clients I interviewed for this piece said, “Philomena’s colonic hydrotherapy has greatly helped with my recent weight loss. I recently suffered a mild heart attack and my doctor recommended that I lose 25 pounds, immediately, begin eating properly, and begin taking new medications. Philomena’s colonics have made all of these transitions possible without the stress that usually accompanies such stressful changes. My cardiologist was in complete agreement when I asked if he thought colonics would be helpful.” Vibeke Seelye, of The Hamptons Rejuvenation Center (631-725-1362) has been a colon therapist on the East End for the past 18 years. “One of the many benefits clients see is an enormous improvement in their skin,” she said. “Gloomy skin fades and healthy color returns.” Colon hydrotherapy is not usually a treatment you do once. Clients get the most benefits when they have colonics on a regular basis. The frequency of the sessions is individualized to each person. Colon hydrotherapy is not for everyone, but to find out if it is for you, do your research and find a therapist who’s experienced, and one that you feel will listen to you and your body. It just might be the secret to better health and beauty.

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 39 www.danshamptons.com

Beauty/Fashion

Spring is officially in the air and it feels good to have her back after a long, cold, icy winter. Let’s enjoy the nicer weather and do some spring shopping! In Southampton, at 23 Windmill Lane, look for top rated fitness equipment for 2010 at Gym Source where there are great products available at their best prices yet. You can save $1,000 on True Z5.4 Treadmills, $500 on life core 1050R bikes, $1,200 on True ESXT Ellipticals, just to name a few. For information call 631-287-1223. Look no farther than Sybelle, 375 County Road 39, Southampton for a “Blow Out Sidewalk Sale” where you’ll find a great selection of carpet, linoleum and more at very affordable prices. The super clearance sale is happening just in time for spring cleaning and re-doing. For information call 631-283-6888. Shopping at English Country Antiques, 53 North Sea Road in Southampton and on Snake Hollow Road in Bridgehampton is a unique experience. There is something for everyone, and the staff is always willing to help you with any decorating questions. Both stores are filled to the rafters with the usual and unusual country furnishings and accessories. Don’t miss out on the “Barn Sale” saving you 50% off tables and chairs. Right now the storewide upholstery and furniture sale should not be missed. Nearby at the Agway Country Gardens at Bridgehampton also on Snake Hollow Road, spring into your outdoor gardens and to-do lists. There are hot buys, with a 40% special offer on long handle garden tools. Stock up on mulch, mini nuggets, landscape fabric, garden tools, bird feeders, houses and seed for your feathered friends that visit every day. Also look for the large selection of dog kennels, food and fences available. There is a “Made to Order” department where you’ll find arbors, doghouses, utility sheds, benches, wishing wells and so much

English Country Antiques, Bridgehampton more. This sale ends on March 29. For information call: 631-537-0007. Stop into True Value on Newtown Lane in East Hampton for some good Bargains of the Month, saving you up to 50% off on select items. Now is the time to stock up on some potting mix for early spring planting. Look for a Spa “Showroom Clearance” at Country Club Pools and Spas, 204 Springs Fireplace Road in East Hampton for huge savings on complete spas that start under $3,000. With all the every day stress, what used to be a luxury is now considered a necessity. Call 631-329-3575. At Plaza Surf N’ Sports on Main Street in Montauk, there’s a full line of baseball softball, soccer, Lacrosse equipment and cleats, ice and roller hockey skates. Also rent bikes, kayaks, mopeds, surfboards and wetsuits. Until April 1, take 50% off all skateboards decks, accessories, work boots, jeans

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and outwear, boogie and skim boards, wetsuits and rash guards, sunglasses and watches. Imagine all that and much more under one large roof? If you went to the St. Patrick’s Day Parade, I’m sure you got your St. Pat’s sweat shirts, T’s, hats and mugs there. Give a call for store hours at 631-668-9300 or log onto their website for full information: plazasurfnsports.net. The eclectic elegance shop Eleven Madison, at 11 Madison Street in Sag Harbor, has already sprung into spring with their stretch swing tops ($70) and tights ($50). The store is a great source for clothing art, antiques and interior design. Stop in and see for yourself, you’ll love this shop. It’s open seven days a week from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. For information call: 631-7258886. A NEW KID ON THE BLOCK: GallettAir Inc., has expanded their heating, air conditioning and duct cleaning services to a second location at 147 West Montauk Highway, Hampton Bays. Owner Carmine Galletta and his staff have been providing commercial and residential service maintenance and installations to all of Nassau and Suffolk Counties for 27 years. On-site consultations are also available at affordable rates. Call 631-587-8395 to speak with GallettAir BPI specialists who are employees of GallettAir Inc. They do not subcontract any of their work Until next week. Ciao and happy spring shopping! If you have any questions or your shop is having sales and or new inventory for the upcoming season, my readers want to hear about it. E-mail me at: I will be happy to get the word out.

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 40 www.danshamptons.com

Food / Dining

Side Dish Aji Jones

Simple Art of Cooking Silvia Lehrer

Perfect Passover The first two nights of Passover, celebrated this year on March 29 and 30 respectively marks the spring festival of the exodus from Egypt and the liberation of the Israelites from slavery. The Passover Seder is an intimate, orderly and joyful family celebration where family members along with friends of all persuasion sit around a decoratively set table complete with ritual dishes such as matzo (unleavened bread), maror (a dry fruit and nut paste) denote the mortar for the bricks the Israelites used to build the pyramids, bitter herbs to remember the bitter experience, hard cooked eggs, the beginning of life and sweet wine – wine is always a celebration. These dishes signify various aspects of the liberation. Participant take turns reading passages from the Haggadah, the book that recalls the Israelites flight to freedom. A festive meal follows and different cultures within the Jewish community generally prepare the beloved foods of their origins. Few take a more adventurous path from the traditional meal of their heritage. I will be joining my brothers family up Island for Passover and bringing one of my mother’s heirloom Sephardic recipes, pastel de carne, a kind of matzo lasagna in that a savory meat filling is sandwiched with matzo rather than pasta. This rich dish is served in small squares as it is just one of many dishes served at the Seder. PASTEL CON CARNE FOR PASSOVER I cherish my mother’s heirloom dishes and pastel con carne is a particular favorite for Passover. For serving it is cut into squares much like lasagna.

3 Course Prix Fixe $2500

Serves 10 to 12 2-3 tablespoons vegetable oil 4 medium onions, finely chopped 2 1/2 pounds ground beef chuck 1 teaspoon coarse (kosher) salt Freshly ground pepper 1 1/2 tablespoons tomato paste 1/3 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg 1/8 teaspoon allspice 1 cup finely chopped flat-leaf Italian parsley 4 eggs, beaten 10 - 12 matzos 1 cup chicken broth 1. Heat oil in a 12-inch skillet, saute onions until tender, about 10 minutes, do not brown. Add meat and saute, stirring occasionally, until it loses its red color. Add salt, pepper, spices and parsley and stir to mix. Remove from heat and when cool stir in the beaten eggs until thoroughly incorporated. Taste to adjust seasoning as necessary and set aside. 2. Prepare a bowl or a square Pyrex, large enough to hold the matzos and a greased baking dish (10 x 15 -inch Pyrex). Soak the matzos 2 at a time in enough water to cover for about 10 seconds (the matzos will fall apart if soaked longer). Line the greased baking pan with the moistened matzo by placing layers of 5 - 6 matzos to create a base for the meat mixture. Spread the meat mixture evenly over the layers of matzo. Soak 5-6 more mat(continued on next page)

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The Montauk Yacht Club Resort & Marina welcomed the arrival of celebrated chef Robbin Haas to the Hamptons dining scene on March 17th. At Gulf Coast Kitchen by Robbin Haas at Montauk Yacht Club, Haas’ shapes the dinner menu of New American fare based on what is locally raised, caught or grown. Haas’ unpretentious and home-made cooking style is also found in an all-day menu at the relaxed Hurricane Alley, a popular drop-in spot for casual breakfast, lunch and dinner; and a selection of handcrafted specialty and classic cocktails with a waterside view at Barracuda Bar and Turtle Lounge. For reservations, call 631-668-3100. Hamptons Restaurant Week kicked off Sunday, March 21 and lasts through Sunday, March 28. NEW this year, restaurants have the option of offering three-course prix fixes for $19.95 and/or $24.95 all night, from Sunday to Sunday, except Saturday when it must only be offered until 7 p.m. The roster of participants features 58 restaurants from Eastport to Montauk and Wading River to Greenport and includes Almond, Fresno, Nick & Toni’s, Noah’s, Rugosa, Oakland’s, red/bar brasserie, Southampton Publick House, and Stonewalls Restaurant. Diners may try discounted bottles of wine from participating vineyards for $19.95 and/or $24.95 at select restaurants and may also receive tasting room deals. To top off the experience, diners may rest between meals at hotels and inns offering discounts such as 15% or 20% off accommodations. For a current list of participants and details, call 631-329-0050 or visit www.hamptonsrestaurantweek.com. DishingonDining.com introduces the “Biggest Hamptons Restaurant Week Fan” contest. The grand prize is a $200 gift certificate for dinner at The 1770 House in East Hampton. The prix fixe offerings at The 1770 House include split pea soup, braised heritage pork ragu and lemon panna cotta. Runners up will receive gift certificates to other notable East End restaurants such as Almond in Bridgehampton. Entries may be submitted in writing, photos or video online at www.DishingonDining.com. All entries must be received by midnight on Sunday, March 28. Winners will be announced on Monday, March 29 at noon. Fresno in East Hampton now hosts Brazilian Night each Thursday from 6:30 p.m. with Ludmilla & Marcello, a Brazilian singer and acoustic guitar duo, performing bossa nova classics. In keeping with the spirit of the evening, Brazil’s national cocktail, the caipirihna, will be served. Alongside music and drinks will be menu specials by Chef Gretchen Menser. For more information, call 631-324-8700. Almond in Bridgehampton continues their regular specials. 2-for-1 Shrimp Scampi is offered every Tuesday for $30. The “plat du jour” on Sunday is linguine con vongole, Monday features bouillabaisse, Thursdays highlight roasted whole fish, rack of lamb takes over on Fridays, and Saturday is cote de veau. A $24.95 three-course prix fixe is offered all night on Mondays and from 6 to 7 p.m. on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. The menu changes weekly and may include: Steamed black mussels with shallots, white wine and parsley; Frisee aux lardon with poached egg, house-cured bacon and sherry vinaigrette; Roast chicken with cavolo nero, celery root puree and natural sauce; and Shepherd’s pie with beef bourguignon, potato foam and horseradish. A Burger & Beer special is available all-night at the bar on Thursdays for $16 and includes a hamburger or turkey burger deluxe, shrimp cocktail and a draft beer. For more information, call 631-537-8885. Townline BBQ in Sagaponack hosts its popular saloon quiz night on Thursdays at 7 p.m. Each par(continued on next page)


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 41 www.danshamptons.com

Side Dish

(continued from previous page)

ticipant pays a $10 fee, which will go towards the grand prize. Teams of five may be formed in advance or will be formed with single players. Topics will vary and may include pop culture, food trivia, music, art, geography, famous people or a picture round. Prizes will be awarded throughout the night. All participants will receive a 10-percent discount on food and beverages during the quiz. For more information call 631-537-2271. Nick & Toni’s in East Hampton is now offering a create-your-own three-course prix fixe for $30 every Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday night. Choose an antipasti or primi, secondi and dolci. A sample of choices may include: Fried sardines, crispy sunchokes, lemon aioli, and fried capers; House-made ricotta cavatelli, gorgonzola, walnuts and poppy seeds; and veal flank steak, sweet potato polenta and apple-cranberry salad. Pizzas are not available for the prix fixe and there is a supplemental charge for whole fish and ribeye steak items. Call 631-324-3550 for reservations. Stonewalls Restaurant in Riverhead returned from a month-long vacation and is now open for lunch, dinner and Sunday brunch. Easter Sunday dinner will be offered on Sunday, April 4 as well as a “Nine & Dine” prix fixe dinner for golfers Sundays, Mondays and Wednesdays. Call 631-506-0777 for information.

Silvia

(continued from previous page)

zos, 2 at a time to cover the meat completely. This procedure can be prepared up to one day ahead. Carefully cover with foil to secure the edges and refrigerate until ready to serve. Preheat oven to 350°F. 3. When ready to bake the pastel, uncover and bring to room temperature. Pour over 1 cup chicken broth to moisten and bake in preheated oven for 25-30 minutes. If top of pastel is browning too fast, tent with foil. Cut into squares and serve warm.

Daily Specials

Food / Dining

1 NORTH STEAKHOUSE - Steakhouse and Mediterranean Grill offering USDA prime meats and a selection of local seafood. Tuesday: Prix Fixe $24.95, Wed: Date Night- 2 entrées and a bottle of wine $50, Thursday: Prime Rib Night, Sunday: Brunch 11-3 $19.95, Sunday: Martha Clara Night. 1 North Road, Hampton Bays 631594-3419 www.1northsteakhouse.com BIG D'S BBQ - All your favorites from Southern style Bar-BQQ to American Specialties, and fresh soups and salads. Catering and take out platters, Lunch and Dinner 720 North Sea Road Southampton 631-377-3825 THE BAY VIEW INN AND RESTAURANT - Located in South Jamesport, boasts a charming country inn setting for delicious lunches and dinners featuring the best and freshest local ingredients. 631-722-2659. BOBBY VAN'S - Steakhouse classics and fresh fish. Open 363 days a year for lunch, dinner and weekend brunch. Kitchen open Fri. & Sat. till 11 p.m. Main St., Bridgehampton. 631-537-0590. CAFFÉ MONTE AT GURNEY'S - Breakfast daily from 7:30 to 10 a.m. From noon to 3 p.m., serving a casual Italian-style menu. La Paticceria serves light fare from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. 631-668-2345. CASA BASSO - Three course prix fixe for $25 every night. 59 Montauk Highway, Westhampton. www.casabasso.net. 631-288-1841. COPA - Wine bar and tapas restaurant. Open 7 days a week, all y ear round. Private parties available. 95 School Street, Bridgehampton. 631-613-6469. HAMPTON COFFEE COMPANY -Espresso Bar, Bakery, Café, and Coffee Roastery. Full service breakfast and lunch in Water Mill. Dan's Papers "Best of the Best"! 6 a.m.-6 p.m. daily. Locations on Montauk Highway in Water Mill (next to Green Thumb) and Mill Road in Westhampton Beach (Six Corners Roundabout @ BNB). 631-726-COFE or www.hamptoncoffeecompany.com. THE JAMESPORT MANOR INN - New American Cuisine with a Mediterranean flair. Lunch and dinner daily, closed Tuesday. 370 Manor Lane, Jamesport. Call 631-722-0500 or visit www.jamesportmanor.com LE SOIR RESTAURANT - Serving the finest French cuisine for over 25 years. Nightly specials, homemade

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desserts. 825 W. Montauk Highway, Bayport. 631-4729090. LA VOLPE RISTORANTE/ANTON’S BRICK OVEN PIZZERIA - Authentic italian cuisine. Traditional recipes with a contemporary twist. $18 Lunch Prix-Fixe 12-3 p.m., $12.99 Twilight Menu 4-6 p.m., Vintage Hour Everyday at the bar 4-6 p.m. with complimentary bar bites. For info, visit www.LaVolpeRestaurant.NET. 611 Montauk Hwy. Center Moriches. Reservations - 631-874-3819, Anton's Take-out - 631-878-2528. MATSULIN - Pan Asian restaurant with varied cuisines from fresh cut sashimi to savory Kari Ayam. Open 7 days, from 12 p.m. 131 W. Montauk Highway, Hampton Bays. 631-728-8838. MUSE RESTAURANT & AQUATIC LOUNGEServes New American Fare with Reginal Flare, Three course Prix Fixe for $24.95 EVERY NITE ALL NITE, plus our soon to be famous $25 wine list. Open Thursday thru Sunday. Located in the Citerella Plaza 760 Montauk Hwy Watermill. 631-726-2606. PARTO'S RESTAURANT - Italian restaurant, pizzeria café. Open Mon.-Thurs. 11 a.m.-10 p.m., Fri.-Sat. 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m. and Sun. 12-9 p.m. www.partosrestaurant.com. 12 West Main Street, Riverhead. 631-727-4828. PHAO THAI KITCHEN - Classic Thai barbecued beef, chicken satay, shrimp & vegetable summer rolls and wokcharred squid appetizers. Comfortable, casual seating. Exotic cocktails served at the long bar until late. 29 Main Street, Sag Harbor. 631-725-0101. PIERRE'S - Euro-chic but casual restaurant and bar. Late dinner and bar on weekdays. Open seven days. Brunch Fri.-Sun.. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. 2468 Main Street, Bridgehampton. 631-537-5110. ROADHOUSE PIZZA - Specialty Italian dishes & Brick oven pizza, fresh salads. Dine in or take out, seasonal dining outdoors beside the beautiful Peconic River. Open 7 days 1111 W. Main Street (Rt 25) Riverhead 631-2089888. SEN RESTAURANT - The Hamptons “go-to” place for sushi/Japanese cuisine. Sushi bar showcases the highest quality, often local ingredients. Curated sake list. 23 Main St., Sag Harbor. 631-725-1774.

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1317036


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 42 www.danshamptons.com

Arts & Entertainment Celebrating Women’s History Month, and Beyond By Stacy Dermont Geneticists concluded in 1987 that every person on Earth can trace his or her lineage back to a single common female ancestor who lived about 200,000 years ago. The scientists gave this common female ancestor the catchy moniker, “Mitochondrial Eve.” This groundbreaking study was led, naturally, by a woman, Dr. Rebecca Cann. Most history books were written by men. Typically local history books focus on the great men who shaped our East End culture. There are a lot of books about Long Island history, only a few focus on women. Of course we all know that women were there throughout, “holding up half the sky,” as the Chinese proverb says. The Southampton Historical Museum’s current exhibition, “Southampton Women Who Made a Difference,” curated by Dr. Gaynell Stone, helps fill in the gaps – it shows in photographs, biographies and samples of art, how East End women, past and present, shaped Long Island’s culture and history. The exhibit is on view at the Rogers Mansion, Tuesday through Saturday, until May 1. Designed by Jeff Thayer, the exhibition’s layout itself is telling. Bordered by a fully outfitted cooking hearth on the South wall and a window seat full of quilts on the North, this is truly the story of many women’s lives. “The female sphere” as the Victorian’s called it, included only the home and church on Sunday. Back then education was often limited to learning to read well enough to reference The Bible. From dawn to dusk, from cradle to grave, “a woman’s work was never done.”

Charlotte Fortune, Dr. Emma Bellows, Elaine Benson Of course our most celebrated foremothers were those who flouted convention to get things done in the larger world. Today’s women struggle to balance family/career/housework/self. But the women who ran this gauntlet in times past succeeded in the face of far steeper obstacles. Emma Bellows was born in Hampton Bays when it was still named Good Ground. Her parents encouraged their smart daughter to pursue higher education. She became a physician when only four American medical schools accepted women. Dr. Bellows performed all manner of operations and delivered many of Southampton’s older residents. She had an area of specialization, though, and it was a tender one. Her accomplishments in the area of Proctology were widely known and it earned her the respected nickname “The Rear Admiral.” In addition to maintaining a substantial practice that frequently paid her in farm produce, in place of cash, Dr. Bellows also wrote a weekly history column and a memoir. For those of us who have read Dr. Bellows’ book,

Dear NYC Readers,

B

eginning April 2, Dan’s Papers is moving from free to paid circulation in Manhattan. Those wishing to read the paper in New York will find it available in hundreds of newsstands and stores around the city—not only on the Upper East Side but on the Upper West Side, Wall Street, the Village, SoHo and numerous locations in Brooklyn. The cost will be $2 a copy. A partial list of locations is at the end of this article. This newspaper, which I founded 50 years ago, was conceived and carried out as the first free newspaper in America. At that time, I reasoned that the new medium of television was free to viewers, and I thought that giving readers a newspaper for free was a right protected and encouraged by our country’s constitution. Television, radio, magazines and newspapers were nearly 100%-supported by advertising back then. It seemed to me that advertisers would $2.00 NYC/Manhattan eagerly embrace a newspaper that would sacrifice the small revenue it received from individual copy sales, in exchange for a wide distribution five or ten times that size. It had never been done before, and it required some explanation for local merchants. But as it turned out, I was right about that. oday, the playing field is very different and so is Dan’s Papers. On the playing field now are dozens of free ways to get information over the Internet. News is transmitted almost instantaneously. As for Dan’s Papers, it has morphed into a work of art on its cover and a whole lot of opinions on the inside, plus a widely ranging guide to activities on the East End. One could not call it a newspaper or even a magazine. I don’t know what you would

2 in NYC

$

For the list of locations where Dan’s Papers will be available for $2.00 Please go to:

www.danshamptons.com/nyc

T

Memoirs of a Town and Country Doctor, a favorite story is that of a local bigwig who traveled up-island for the treatment of a very personal problem. He wanted to avoid being treated by a woman – but “the real hospital” had brought in a specialist to treat him. That’s right, “The Rear Admiral” gave a posterior performance. Another woman who made a difference, and a place for herself in a narrow world, was Charlotte Smiley Fortune. In addition to being discounted for being born female, “Carrie” was born a slave in Florida. Her dressmaking skills brought her to Sag Harbor in the late 19th century to serve the wife of a ship’s captain as her personal dressmaker. Ms. Fortune’s fortunes improved over the years and she taught other women of color the art of dressmaking. Among her students were Mary Jane Hempstead and Ms. Hempstead’s nieces “the Green girls,” Mary, Christina, Susan, Sadie and Priscilla. With their earnings these women bought Sag Harbor real estate. They began renting out cottages and houses throughout Eastville, the traditionally mixed race neighborhood. These rentals paved the way for African Americans to summer in Sag Harbor throughout the 20th century to today. Over 30 fascinating women are featured in this exhibition. No exhibition of influential, colorful local women would be complete without Bridgehampton’s own Elaine Benson (1924-998). Benson arrived in her “new home town” from Philadelphia in 1964. She and her husband opened an art gallery that gave many (continued on next page)

call it. Perhaps it is just Dan’s Papers, a category unto itself. Dan’s Papers will remain a powerful free newspaper in the community it serves—Montauk, the Hamptons and the North Fork—supported by many eager advertisers. Beyond the gates that close across the Shinnecock Canal every night at midnight, however, it will embrace the new model—with the ads in the paper providing an extra push in New York for those who pay for them. At the same time, we’re asking those who enjoy the Dan’s Papers stories and covers (a copy of the paper on EBay with a signed cover by Peter Max was recently sold for $139) to pay $2.00 per copy. A small note on the front of every issue will read $2 IN NYC. uring this summer, the paper is proudly celebrating its 50th anniversary with all sorts of events, book readings, races, kite flies and parties. A second edition of the best selling memoir In the Hamptons: 50 Years with Farmers, Fishermen, Artists, Celebrities, and Billionaires will be out on Memorial Day in all bookstores. It is called, In the Hamptons Too, Further Encounters with Farmers, Fishermen, Artists, Celebrities and Billionaires. There was a bake sale for charity last month at our offices and there have been two art gallery exhibits of this author’s cartoons—one at the Wintertree Gallery in Sag Harbor and a current showing at the Stony Brook Southampton college library to continue for a month—and, later this summer, there will be an art auction for charity of original paintings by Dan’s Papers cover artists—Peter Max being one. On the left is the list of where to find Dan’s Papers in New York City. Thank you for reading and enjoying Dan’s Papers.

D

-Dan Rattiner, Founder 1317315


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 43 www.danshamptons.com

Arts & Entertainment

Gospel Singer Kim Burrell in SH By Stacy Dermont This Saturday, March 27, Gospel Great Kim Burrell will take the stage of Southampton High School to perform a concert of what she calls “jazz gospel.” The event is being organized by local pastor Dr. Frank Anthone White and King’s Chapel Church of Southampton. Rare among gospel artists, Rev. Burrell writes most of the material that she records and performs, making her a “quadruple threat,” songwriter/arranger/singer/pianist. In the words of Harry Connick Jr., “If she’s not the greatest musical mind I’ve ever been around, she’s certainly up at the top of the list.” Burrell is featured on Connick’s 2006 release, All These People, a benefit effort to support New Orleans Habitat Musicians Village. Plus she is a religious leader, serving as Assistant Pastor at Jericho City Church of God in Christ (COGIC) in Dallas, Texas. Burrell’s first studio album in 11 years, titled No Ways Tired, was released in April, 2009. If you think it’s premature to call Burrell a “gospel great,” you haven’t heard, “her velvet rasp.” Burrell is frequently referred to as “this generation’s Ella Fitzgerald.” Let us drop names. In addition to Harry Connick Jr., Rev. Burrell has worked with Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder, George Clinton, Whitney Houston, Chaka Khan and Missy Elliot, to name just a few. At 37, she may still be considered a youngster in the gospel world, only performing professionally since 1995. But remarkably, Burrell has been performing publicly for 36 years. Only when someone records a baby singing in vitro will the story of Burrell’s debut be less amazing. At the age of one Burrell belted out her first church solo, Andrae Crouch’s “Hallelujah.” Gospel music is in her genes, Burrell’s father was also a “Reverend Burrell” and her mother was an Evangelist singer. But all has not been sunny in this Grammy nominee’s life. When she sings about pain, she knows of what she speaks. She spent eight years of her childhood battling double pneumonia, but the lungs held up. After suffering a heart attack on tour last year, Burrell set out to lose 100 pounds. Rumor has it that a reality television show is in the works. Burrell proves that gospel music isn’t just for Christians. The power of her music may not make atheists convert, but this uplifting, transformative sound is a heavenly gift. Expect miracles this Saturday night. Kim Burrell at Southampton High School, 141 Narrow Lane, 7:30p.m., Saturday, March 27. $30/$20 631-283-8029 kingschapelcogic.net

Women

(continued from previous page)

young artists their start and hosted countless fundraisers for local charities. After the loss of her husband, Benson carried on full force. She became a writer, contributing a popular column to Dan’s Papers and authoring the celebrated book, Unmentionables: A Brief History of Underwear. Funded in part by The Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR), “Southampton Women Who Made a Difference” is deeply local and a pleasure to view. Though, as a needlewoman, I was tortured to see a big rat’s nest of embroidery floss laid out among samples of local handiwork, like it belonged there. Maybe the big, colorful mess is symbolic. Women’s lives intertwine and form a tangle of experiences for their daughters to celebrate and weave into a rich tapestry. “Southampton Women Who Made a Difference” is on view at the Rogers Mansion, 17 Meeting House Lane, Southampton through May 1, 2010. Tuesday Saturday, 11-4, admission $4. 631-283-2494 southamptonhistoricalmuseum.org

Art Commentary by Marion Wolberg Weiss

Alex Katz at the Parrish There are many ways to considures in space. The point is this, er Alex Katz’s contributions to the dancers exist in their own contemporary American art. This separate domain, not facing each critic favors his influence on other. Postmodernism, where represenKatz uses other techniques to tation of reality and particularly disconnect his figures from each the “ideal” body is subverted. other and their environment. Thus, his interpretations exagConsider his close-up of a gerate human anatomy while woman, “Margit Smiles,” where also possibly communicating a sunglasses hide her face, and the social message about human beach (context) is missing. foibles. Another work of the same subject Conversely, Eric Fischl is a does reveal facial features, but Postmodernist who draws from there’s still no background to the classical tradition of eventposition the image in a setting. centered storytelling. Yet both Here we have a reality that is artists demonstrate an important both “open”/connected and Postmodern tenet – the amalga“closed”/disconnected. Such mation of classical “idealism” dynamics, however, don’t become with contemporary “commona recurring pattern as far as this place.” critic can determine. More intriguing, perhaps, is Of course, there are exceptions another similarity that’s less to the lack of eye contact between Sunset, 1984 philosophical, Katz (in the Parrish figures. For example, there’s exhibit) and Fischl rarely have their figures (or “Junction,” where a young girl in a dance pose faces “characters”) facing each other or, for that matter, the us directly. Even so, the image is disconcerting viewer. This critic has frequently wondered if this because the gaze is so intense, and her body is incommeans the obvious, a disconnect between people and, plete. (One foot is not included, disappearing as it by extension, the world. After all, Katz himself has does from the picture plane.) said, “I like the style to be in the content.” We are engaged with this young dancer and can’t At the Parrish, this observation is apparent when help but wonder what she’s thinking. For that matKatz features two women (“Eleuthera”) hugging even ter, we are also caught up with the thoughts that though they are not looking at each other. (However, Katz’ other figures must have as they look out in “Sunset” shows an embracing couple, yet they are space. We start to imagine what they see, if anything, gazing at each other, a rare exception). and why they are not involved with the person next Groups also show a disconnection in “Beach,” four to them. men all look in different directions. The work is a In this way, Katz resembles Fischl somewhat as strong reminder of some early beach scenes created well, namely his narrative structure, or plot, that is by Fischl where the view is more intense, but the evolving. This, too, may mark both artists as effect is similar. Postmodernists. Other group configurations are apparent in Katz’ depictions of the Paul Taylor dancers. One work is “Alex Katz: Seeing, Drawing, Making” is on view at like a cinematic montage with different views of figthe Parrish through April 4, 2010. Call 631-283-2118.

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 44 www.danshamptons.com

Arts & Entertainment

Art Openings & Galleries OPENINGS AND EVENTS THE BLACK AND WHITE SHOW OPENING – 3/26 – 10 a.m. art exhibition at Ashawagh Hall. Curated by Cory Barber. THE BLACK AND WHITE SHOW RECEPTION – 3/27 – 6 p.m. art reception at Ashawagh Hall, curated by Cory Barber. Contact barber.cory@gmail.com for more information. GALLERIES ANN MADONIA PAINTING GALLERY & FINE ANTIQUES – 36 Jobs Lane, Southampton. Daily 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. 631-283-1878. ANNYX – 150 Main St., Sag Harbor. 631-725-9064. ART & SOUL GALLERY – 495 Montauk Highway, Eastport. 631-325-1504. Artsoulgallery.com. ARTHUR T. KALAHER FINE ART – 28E Job’s La., Southampton. Open daily 10 a.m.-6 p.m. or by appointment. 631-204-0383. BENSON-KEYES ARTS – Open by appointment. elainebensongallery@gmail.com. 917-509-1379. BERNARD GOLDBERG FINE ARTS, LLC – 4 Newtown La., East Hampton. BERNARD SPRING STEEL – Watercolors and sculptures. Open Sat. and Sun. 1-4 p.m. 7760 Main Bayview Rd., Southold. 631-765-9509. BIRNHAM WOOD GALLERIES – Open daily 10:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. 52 Park Pl., East Hampton. 631-324-6010. Birnhamwoodart.com. BOLTAX GALLERY –Fri.-Mon. 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. 21 North Ferry Rd., Shelter Island. 631-749-4062. BRAVURA ART AND OBJECTS GALLERY – American, European, tribal, Murano glass, jewelry, textiles, home furnishings and eclectic objects. Open by appointment. 261 N. Main St., Southampton. 631-3773355. info@bravurastyle.com CANIO’S GALLERY–290 Main St., Sag Harbor. 631725-4926. CECILY’S LOVE LANE GALLERY – Showing a variety of local artists. 80 Love Ln., Mattituck. 631-2988610. CHRYSALIS GALLERY - Original Fine Art Local Regional & International Artists. Thursday-Monday 105:30pm, 2 Main Street, Southampton (631)-287-1883, chrysalis@hamptons.com. New Arrivals Join us for some Holiday Cheer Saturdays & Sundays 1-5 p.m. THE CRAZY MONKEY GALLERY – Thurs. thru

Sun. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. 136 Main St., Amagansett. 631267-3627. D’AMICO INSTITUTE – Former residence of Victor D’Amico, founding director of Education at the Museum of Modern Art. Early modernist furnishings and found objects on display. By appointment. Lazy Point, Amagansett. 631-267-3172. DESHUK-RIVERS STUDIO – Visit artist Daria Deshuk for one-on-one tours. Paintings, photographs and works on paper. 141 Maple Ln., Bridgehampton. 631-2374511. Deshukriversgallery.com. GALERIE BELAGE –8 Moniebogue La., Westhampton Beach. 631-288-5082. LEVITAS CENTER FOR THE ARTS –Southampton Cultural Center, Pond La. Weekdays 12-4 p.m., Weekends 12-6 p.m. 631-283-6419. MARK BORGHI FINE ART – Mix of mid-century modern works and new acquisitions. 2462 Main St., Bridgehampton. 631-537-7245. MICHAEL PEREZ POP ART GALLERY – Featuring original works by artist/gallery owner Michael Perez. 59 Main St., Southampton. 631-259-2424. Michaelperez-artist.com. MOSQUITO HAWK GALLERY – 24 N Ferry Rd., Shelter Island. 631-905-4998. PARASKEVAS GALLERY – Showing Michael Paraskevas’ work and children’s book illustrations from Maggie and the Ferocious Beast and other books published with his mother, Betty. Open by appointment. 83 Main St., Westhampton Beach. 631-287-1665. THE PARRISH ART MUSEUM –Mon.-Sat. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Sun. 1 to 5 p.m. Job Ln., Southampton. 631-2832118. POLLOCK KRASNER HOUSE & STUDY CENTER – 830 Springs Fireplace Rd., East Hampton. 631324-4929. L’ORANGERIE FINE ART GALLERY – Sat. 12 - 6 p.m. Sun. 1 – 5 p.m. and by appointment. 633 First Street, Greenport. 631-477-2633. lorangerie@optonline.net. RATIO GALLERY-MIHstudio – 10 Bell St., Bellport. 631-286-4020. Ratiogallery.com. RICAHRD J. DEMATO FINE ARTS GALLERY – 90 Main Street, Sag Harbor. 631-725-1161. ROMANY KRAMORIS GALLERY – 41 Main St., Sag Harbor. 631-725-2499. SIRENS’ SONG GALLERY – Fri.-Mon. 12:30 to 6 p.m. 516 Main Street, Greenport. sirensongallery.com.

631-477-1021. SPANIERMAN GALLERY AT EAST HAMPTON – 68 Newtown Lane, East Hampton. 631-329-9530. SURFACE LIBRARY – New works created “in-situ” (on-site) by resident atelier artists, potter Bob Bachler and painter James Kennedy. 845 Springs Fireplace Rd., East Hampton. Thurs – Sun. 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. 631-2919061. SYLVESTER & CO. – “Best of 2009” art show that will continue until March 3, 2010. Viewing is open to the public. The art featured is by many local, international and NCY artists including Eric Buechel, Perry Burns, Elizabeth Dow, David Geiser, James Kennedy, Doug Kuntz, Dennis Lawrence, Jim Napierala, Matthew Satz, Lynda Sylvester, Bijou LeTord and Gavin Zeigler. 154 Main St., Amagansett. Tim@sylvesterathome.com. 631267-9777. TERRENCE JOYCE GALLERY – 114 Main St., Greenport. 631-477-0700. TULLA BOOTH GALLERY – Gallery Gems Photography Exhibit, December 11 thru January 30. Artists by Daniel Jones, Burt Glinn, Karine Laval, Christine Matthai, Susan Pear Meisel, Blair Seagram. 66 Main St., Sag Harbor. Thurs.-Mon. 12:30-7 p.m. 631-7253100. Tullaboothgallery.com. THE WINTER TREE GALLERY - Extended show Cuca Romley “40 Years in America” through February 28, Also showing: Eric Dever, Barbara Hadden, Jean Holabird, Bruce McCombs, William Negron, Fernando Vignoli. Gallery hours: Daily 12-6 p.m. (closed Tuesday) 125 Main St. Sag Harbor Tel: 631-725-0097. WISH ROCK STUDIO – Fine art and frame shop. Open Thurs.-Sun. from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 17 Grand Ave., Shelter Island Heights. 631-749-5200. VERED GALLERY – 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 68 Park Pl., East Hampton. 631-324-3303.

For totally complete, up-to-the-minute listings, go to

danshamptons.com click on: Calendar

MOVIES Schedule for the week of Friday, March 26 to Thursday, April 1. Movie schedules are subject to change. Always call to confirm shows and times. HAMPTON ARTS (+) How To Train Your Dragon (PG) – Fri., 5, 7:30, rest of week, 2, 4:15, 6:30, 8:30 The Bounty Hunter (PG13) – Fri., 5:30, 8, rest of week, 2:30, 5, 8, SAG HARBOR CINEMA (+) (631-725-0010) The Yellow Handkerchief – 5 all week Crazy Heart – 9:10 all week The Last Station – 7 all week UA EAST HAMPTON (+) (631-324-0448) Green Zone (R) – Mon, Tue, 3:50, 7:15, Wed, Thurs, Fri., 3:50, 7:15, 10:15, Sat, 1, 3:50, 7:15, 10:15, Sun., 1, 3:50, 7:15 How To Train Your Dragon (PG) – Mon, Tue, 2:30, 5, 7:20 Wed, Thurs, Fri., 2:30, 5, 7:20, 9:45,

like a bowl of cherries. call 631-537-0500 to place an ad today!

Sat., 12, 2:30, 5, 7:20, 9:45 Sun., 2:30, 5, 7:20 The Ghost Writer (R) – Mon, Tue, 3:30, 6:30, Wed, Thurs, Fri., 3:30, 6:30, 9:30 Sat., 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30 Sun., 12:30, 3:30, 6:30 The Runaways (R) – Mon., Tues, 4:15, 6:50 Wed, Thurs, Fri., 4:15, 6:50, 9:20 Sat., 1:45, 4:15, 6:50, 9:20, Sun., 1:45, 4:15, 6:50 Greenberg (R) – Mon., Tues, 4:30, 7:40 Wed, Thurs, Fri., 4:30, 7:40, 10:20, Sat., 1:30, 4:30, 7:40, 10:20 Sun., 1:30, 4:30, 7:40 The Bounty Hunter (PG13) – Mon., Tues, 4, 7, Wed, Thurs., Fri., 4, 7, 10 Sat., 1:15, 4, 7, 10 Sun., 1:15, 4, 7 UA HAMPTON BAYS (+) (631-728-8535) Diary of a Wimpy Kid (PG) – Fri, 5:10, 7:30, 9:55 Sat, Sun 12:20, 5:10, 7:30, 9:55 Mon-Thur, 5:10, 7:30 How To Train Your Dragon (PG) – Fri, 5, 7:20, 9:45 Sat, Sun 12, 2:30, 5, 7:20, 9:45 Mon-Thur, 5, 7:20 Hot Tub Time Machine (R) – Fri, 4, 7:40, 10:15 Sat, Sun 12:40, 4, 7:40, 10:15 Mon-Thur, 4, 7:40 Alice in Wonderland (PG) – Fri, 4:20, 7, 10:05 Sat, Sun 1, 4:20, 7, 10:05 Mon-Thur, 4:20, 7 Our Family Wedding (PG) – Fri, 4:40, 7:10, 9:35 Sat, Sun 12:30, 4:40, 7:10, 9:35 Mon-Thur, 4:40, 7:10 UA SOUTHAMPTON (+) (631-287-2774) Repo Men (R) – Fri, 4:30, 7:30, 10:10, Sat, 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:10, Sun, 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, Mon-Thur, 4:30, 7:30 Alice in Wonderland (PG) – Fri, 4, 7, 10, Sat, 1, 4, 7, 10, Sun, 1, 4, 7, Mon-Thur, 4, 7

How To Train Your Dragon (PG) – Fri, 4:15, 7:15, 9:50, Sat, 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:50, Sun, 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, Mon-Thur, 4:15, 7:15 Chloe (R) – Fri, 4:40, 7:40, 10:15, Sat, 1:40, 4:40, 7:40, 10:15, Sun, 1:40, 4:40, 7:40, Mon-Thur, 4:40, 7:40 MATTITUCK CINEMAS (Call 631-298-Show for times) How To Train Your Dragon (PG), Alice In Wonderland (PG), The Bounty Hunter (PG13), Hot Tub Time Machine (R), The Repo Men (R), Green Zone (R), Diary of a Wimpy Kid (PG13), She’s Out Of My League (R), Remember Me (PG13), The Last Song (PG) The Montauk Movie (+) (631-668-2393) Closed for the season. Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center (+) (631-288-1500) Lourdes – March 26, 27, 7:30 p.m. Bay Street Theater (+) Peyton Place – March 26, 8 p.m. The Bad and the Beautiful – March 27, 8 p.m.

The sign (+) when following the name of a theatre indicates that a show has an infrared assistive listening device. Please confirm with the theatre before arriving to make sure they are available.


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 45 www.danshamptons.com

Over The Barrel... with Lenn Thompson

Photo by Lenn Thompson

You’d think that if you own a winery, you’d be dipping deep into your cellar regularly, enjoying well-aged bottles of your own wine — just because you can. Not if you’re the Massoud family at Paumanok Vineyards. It seems that tasting wines being made, tasting upcoming releases and selling current releases — along with promoting their winery and the entire region — doesn’t leave a lot of time or opportunity to open older bottles. Enter the wineries series of “Grand Vintage Dinners” — the perfect opportunity for local wine lovers (and the family behind them) to taste some of the best wines the winery has ever put out. Wines are only labeled “Grand Vintage” when the wine deserves it. You can think of it as a more meaningful version of “reserve” bottling. The Grand Vintage dinner I attended focused on six different vintages of Grand Vintage Merlot and the experience was, in a word, spectacular. If it was a treat for people with ready access to these wines, it was far more for me. With five delicious courses that were prepared for more than 50 guests by local chefs Tom Schaudel and Michael Ross with only a portable six-burner stove, the wines took center stage. The first course was seared salmon with a Provence-style sauce of tomatoes, olives, capers and garlic, which was served with Paumanok Vineyards 2001 Grand Vintage Merlot. Before years like 2005 (pre-rain) and 2007 came along, 2001 was “the” vintage for Long Island wine, and I was curious how

A Taste of the Past at Paumanok Vineyards

this wine was evolving nine years after its birth. It was showing mature secondary and tertiary flavors of earth, dried herbs and spice layered with dried and fresh cherry fruit. A graphite note worked extremely well with the briny olives and capers. Current winemaker Kareem Massoud, who hadn’t tasted this wine in years told our table that it was tasting “better than I ever remember it tasting.” Next up was grilled quail with mushroom risotto with blueberries and chantrelle mushrooms paired with the 2002 Grand Vintage Merlot. Poured from magnums it was much more youthful and fruit-forward (wines age more slowly in larger bottles), with bright red cherry flavors leading the way with earthy tobacco, spice and savory spice notes. In the larger bottles at least, this wine has plenty of life ahead of it. This may have been my favorite pairing of the evening. Near perfect. For the third course, Jurgielewicz Farm’s Duck Breast with sweet potato-roasted banana puree, haricot verts and a raspberry glaze, we tasted two

widely different wines — the 2004 and 2005 Grand Vintage Merlots. From a cooler perhaps more regionally typical year, the 2004 was almost Burgundian in its mushroomy earthiness, elegant fruit and subtle floral notes. The 2005 was intense with dark, ripe fruit, black licorice and ripe, grippy tannins. It’s still a baby and needs more time to develop and reveal its true self. Before diving into dessert, we were presented with a wedge of truffled pecorino cheese with roasted tomato, extra virgin olive oil, rosemary and fennel pollen. The wine, Paumanok’s 2000 Grand Vintage Merlot, showed nice weight and mature earthy flavors and a distinct minty-eucalyptus note that played off the rosemary well. Red wine with chocolate is a discussion for another column (I’m not a believer) but with a bittersweet chocolate terrine with hazelnuts and raspberry puree, we enjoyed a taste of the just-released (the day of the dinner) Paumanok 2007 Merlot Tuthills Lane Vineyard. Bold, ripe blueberry flavors burst from the glass with licorice, spice, dark chocolate and roasted coffee. This wine is the complete package — ripe, concentrated and extracted, with great structure. If the 2005 is young, this one is an infant. Buy some and lay it down for another 10 years. Or buy more and check in on it every year or so. Paumanok will be hosting two more Grand Vintage dinners this spring — a Magnum dinner on April 24 and a 2001 Grand Vintage dinner on May 22. Visits paumanok.com/events.html for details.

North Fork Events FRIDAY, MARCH 26 ARTIST DEMONSTRATION - Demonstration with artist Roy Kinzer, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at East End Arts Council’s Carriage House art studio, Riverhead. Workshop features Golden acrylics, acrylic gels, texturizers and mediums, digital media products and more. Donation $10; members $5. Call 631-369-2171. PET FUNDRAISER - RSVP (Responsible Solutions for Valued Pets) hosts fundraiser, 7:30-10:30 p.m. at Martha Clara Vineyards, Riverhead. Tickets $40; includes 1 drink ticket, light fare. Cash bar available. Music, chinese auction, food, wine and music by the Charles Certain Trio. Cash or check. RSVP: 631-605-6362. All proceeds benefit animals in need. MOVIE NIGHT – ‘The Aviator,’ 1:30 p.m. at MattituckLaurel Library, Mattituck. The story of Howard Hughes’ legendary career. Free. 631-298-4134. HOW TO BE VEGETARIAN - At Southold Free Library: So You Want To Be A Vegetarian? 6:30-8 p.m. for grades 812, with Diana Van Buren. Call 631-765-2077. CHILDRENS THEATRE - Children’s Theatre Workshops offered by the East End Arts Council: On-camera acting for ages 7-12 or 13 and up at Brecknock Hall in Greenport. Call 631-369-2171 or visit www.eastendarts.org. SATURDAY, MARCH 27 CHINESE AUCTION - Chinese auction 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m. at Southold Indian Museum. Lunch available. Admission $5; includes 10 tickets; additional tickets available. Prizes and 50/50 draw. Museum open for viewing and gift shop open. 631-765-5577. ATLANTIS MARINE WORLD FUNDRAISER - ‘Spend a Night in a Tropical Paradise!’ fundraiser, 7 p.m. at Atlantis Marine World Aquarium, Riverhead, hosted by New Beginnings to benefit those who suffer from traumatic brain injury, stroke and cognitive disabilities. Tropical drinks, pig roast, steel drum band, raffles and more. Tickets

$75; table of 10 $700. RSVP: 631-617-5150, nbli.org. MOVIE NIGHT - Cinematic series ‘10, 7:30 p.m. features “Focus,” starring William Macy and Laura Dern, at Cutchogue Presbyterian Church. Refreshments served. Suggested donation $5. 631-722-5712. ANNUAL FISH DINNER - Noon-5 p.m. at Unity Baptist Church, Mattituck. Donation $15. Sponsored by Men’s Fellowship Ministry. Place orders: 631-298-8669. SOUTHOLD MOTHERS CLUB - Second annual “Bagels with the Bunny”, 9 a.m.-noon at Southold Town Recreation Center, Peconic. Adults $5; kids $3; Bagels, doughnuts, coffee, juice, Easter egg hunt and meet the Easter Bunny, 50/50 raffle and more. RSVP to 631-477-6406. YOUTH NIGHT - For grades 5-8, 7-9 p.m. at Southold Town Recreation Center, Peconic Lane, Peconic. Pool, pingpong, indoor basketball and foosball. Snacks and refreshments available. Bring favorite CDs or iPod. Free to resident youth. 631-765-5182. HOW TO USE YOUR TELESCOPE - 7 p.m.-midnight, with Jeff Norwood at Custer Institute and Observatory, Southold. Lecture and workshop; bring equipment. Suggested donation $15; members $10; full-time students $5. Refreshments and observing follow. 631-765-2626. SUNDAY, MARCH 28 PANCAKE BREAKFAST - 8 a.m.-1 p.m. at East Marion Fire Department. Adults $10; kids $6. 50/50 raffle. 631-4770539. SONGS OF THE 40s - 2 p.m. with singer Lisa Winters at Southold Free Library. Includes pianist/accompanist and slide presentation of this historic era. Songs of WWII and big bands. Free; all welcome. Sponsored by Friends of SFL. 631-765-2077. ANYTHING GOES AT NFCT - Music and lyrics by Cole Porter, presented by North Fork Community Theatre, Mattituck. Directed by Dave Markel; musical director Nancy Deegan. Curtain at 8 p.m.; matinees 2:30 p.m.

Tickets $20. 631-298-NFCT, nfct.com. ONGOING EVENTS SOUP KITCHEN - Community supper, free soup kitchen for those in need, 5:30-6:30 p.m. on Wednesdays at St. Agnes Roman Catholic Church parish hall, located on Sixth Street in Greenport. For more info., call 631-765-2981. WEIGHT LOSS - The second Tuesday of every month, Dr. Russ L’HommeDieu, a physical therapist, holds a free weight management lecture and discussion session for people battling weight loss problems. The discussion is moderated by Dr. Russ, who has himself upheld a 200-pound weight loss. Space is limited. For more info., contact New Life in Progress at 888-446-7764. HEALTHY COOKING MADE QUICK & EASY - The second Friday of every month, a Quick and Easy Healthy Cooking demonstration is being offered. The demo will be performed by Dr. Russ L’HommeDieu, DPT; a certified Wellness Coach who has himself maintained a 200-pound weight loss for the last four years. This would be a great place to gain insight on how to cook and eat healthier. Dr. Russ will be offering some GREAT ideas on how to cook healthy food for the whole week when you’re pressed for time. He will also be discussing the health benefits of including whole grains in your diet. If you eat, you don’t want to miss this! Space is limited. Reservations are required. There is a small materials fee. Call 888-446-7764 right away to reserve your spot! REIKI CIRCLES - Reiki Circles Monday Nights at the Grace Episcopal Church on the last Monday of every month. Meetings are held at the Peconic Bay Medical Center. For more info., contact Ellen J. McCabe at (631) 727-2072. SKATEBOARDING - Great skate park in Greenport offering ramps and a half pipe. For hours and other info., call 631-477-2385. INDIAN MUSEUM - In Southold, open 1:30 p.m.- 4:30 p.m. on Sundays. For more info., call 631-765-5577.


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 46 www.danshamptons.com

Day By Day COMING UP Upcoming events can be seen in the following sections:

Art Events – pg. 44 Kids’ Events – pg. 37 Movies – pg. 44 THURSDAY, MARCH 25 BRIDGEHAMPTON MEMORIES – 10a.m. to 11a.m. Dr. John Eilertsen interviews Bridgehampton Historian/Weatherman Richard G. Hendrickson and his son Richard H. Hendrickson. Free. Prudential Douglas Elliman Real Estate Conference Room, 2488 Montauk Highway, Bridgehampton. 631-537-1088 bridgehamptonhistoricalsociety.org THURSDAY NIGHT JAM SESSION – 7 to 9p.m., Bay Street Theater and Bay Burger present live jazz, Free. Bay Street Theater, 1 Long Wharf, Sag Harbor 631-725-0818 baystreet.org ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST – 8 p.m., Sunday matinees at 2:30 p.m. Award-winning play presented by the Hampton Theatre Company. Written

GREEK K ORTHODOX X CHURCH OF THE E HAMPTONS KIMISIS TIS THEOTOKOU 111 St. Andrews Road, Southampton

TEL.. 631-283-6169 Rev. Protopresbyter Alexander Karloutsos

Holy Week and Pascha 2010 SATURDAY OF LAZARUS MARCH 27

Divine Liturgy 10 am Community Breakfast Fellowship Palm making

PALM SUNDAY MARCH 28

Divine Liturgy 10 am Palm Sunday Luncheon Bridegroom Service 6:30 pm

HOLY MONDAY MARCH 29

Bridegroom Service 6:30 pm

HOLY TUESDAY MARCH 30

Bridegroom Service 6:30 pm Troparion Tis Kassianis

HOLY WEDNESDAY MARCH 31

Presanctified Divine Liturgy 10 am Holy Unction Healing Service 6 pm

HOLY THURSDAY APRIL 1

Saint Basil Divine Liturgy 7am Service of the 12 Gospels & Great Passion 6:30 pm

HOLY FRIDAY APRIL 2

The Great Hours 9:00 am Vespers - Descent from the Cross and Burial of Christ 3 pm Epitaphios and Lamentations Service 7 pm

HOLY SATURDAY APRIL 3

Divine Liturgy 10 am Resurrection Service and Divine Liturgy 11:00 pm - 1:15 am Mageritsa following Services

HOLY & GREAT PASCHA APRIL 4

Agape Vespers 11 am

Info@KimisisHamptons.org www.KimisisHamptons.org

1195960

Christ is Risen!

by Dale Wasserman, directed by Sarah Hunnewell. Through April 11. $25/adults, $23/seniors, $10/students. Reservations 866-8114111. 631-653-8955. Quogue Community Hall, 126 Jessup Avenue hamptontheatre.org JIM TURNER OPEN MIC NIGHT - 9 p.m., Blue Sky Restaurant, Sag Harbor. No Cover, special guests and interesting performers. 631-725-1810 blueskysagharbor.com

PICK OF THE WEEK

FRIDAY, MARCH 26 SPAY AND NEUTER – Clinic at Southampton Animal Shelter by appointment, 102 Old Riverhead Road, Hampton Bays. 631-728-PETS southamptonanimalshelter.com CANDLELIGHT AT WOLFFER - pop singer/songwriter Jann Klose performs live. Wine and mulled wine. No cover for music. 139 Sagg Road, Sagaponack. 631537-5106. Wolffer.com TWO FORKS AND A CORK NETWORKING EVENT – 6–8 p.m., Sponsored by the Parrish Art Museum Business Council, featuring North & South Fork Wines, live music by Jazz on the Half Shell, artisanal foods, fine wines auction. $30 Parrish members/$40 nonmembers. 631-283-2118, ex. 49 25 Jobs Lane, Southampton. parrishart.org THE PICTURE SHOW AT BAY STREET THEATER – Peyton Place starring Lana Turner will be shown on the big screen for $5. 1 Long Wharf. Sag Harbor. 631-725-9500 baystreet.org ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST – see March 25 “LOURDES” – 7:30 p.m. Finest in World Cinema Series, Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center, 76 Main Street, Westhampton Beach Tickets $10/$7 631288-1500 ext. 115, whpac.org PORGY AND BESS – 75th Anniversay Production at Tilles Center, Brookville. $75/$50/$35 516-299-3100, tillescenter.org DJ KARO – Blue Sky Restaurant, 63 Main St., Sag Harbor. No Cover. 9:30 p.m. 725-1810 blueskysagharbor.com SATURDAY, MARCH 27 WINTER FARMERS MARKET - Every Saturday, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Main Street across from the Beach Bakery in Westhampton Beach. Produce and prepared foods. CULINARY DEMO -12-2 p.m. Loaves & Fishes Cookshop, 2422 Montauk Hwy, Bridgehampton. 631537-6066 www.landfcookshop.com SINGER/SONGWRITER JAMES O’MALLEY – live concert 2 p.m. Bridgehampton Historical Society, 2368 Montauk Highway, Bridgehampton, $5, 631-5371088 bridgehamptonhistoricalsociety.org 88.3 FM REBEL GORILLA FUNDRAISER – 48p.m. 36 Hampton Road, Southampton Open Jam Session, Art Auction, 50/50 Raffle contact alfredo@villasoftheworld.com to perform DJ MATT COSS – Blue Sky Restaurant, 63 Main Street, Sag Harbor. No Cover. Everyone welcome! 9:30 p.m. 631-725-1810 blueskysagharbor.com KIM BURRELL – SEE PICK OF THE WEEK ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST – see March 25 THE PICTURE SHOW AT BAY STREET THEATER – The Bad and the Beautiful starring Lana Turner will be shown on the big screen for $5. 1 Long Wharf. Sag Harbor. 631-725-9500 baystreet.org LOURDES – see March 26 SUNDAY, MARCH 28 MAT PILATES – 12 Noon, Quogue Library, Quogue. 631-653-4224 ext 4 to register for the class, $7 fee. quoguelibrary.org ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST – see March 25 MICHAEL BOLTON - live concert 8p.m. Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center, 76 Main

SATURDAY, MARCH 27

KIM BURRELL – in live jazz gospel concert 7:30 p.m. Southampton High School, 141 Narrow Lane, Southampton $30/$20, 631-283-8029 kingschapelcogic.net

Street, Westhampton Beach Tickets $150/$135/$120 631288-1500 ext. 115, whpac.org HAMPTONS RESTAURANT WEEK ENDS! – participating restaurants offer 3course prix fixe all night 631329-0050 hamptonsrestaurantweek.com

MONDAY, MARCH 29 ENGLISH CONVERSATION – 5 to 6:30p.m. for adults who need practice speaking English. Also March 29 at Hampton Library, 2478 Montauk Highway, Bridgehampton 631-537-0015 hamptonlibrary.org RESTORATIVE YOGA FOR CANCER PATIENTS – 5:15 p.m. to 7 p.m. Class for those living with cancer and survivors, registration required. Living Well Yoga and Fitness, 83 South Elmwood Ave., Montauk (516) 380-5422 livingwellyogaandfitness.com

TUESDAY, MARCH 30 DANCING 101 - 9:30–10:30 a.m. Learn basic dance movements and popular steps. Living Well Yoga and Fitness, 83 Elmwood Street, Montauk. 516-380-5422 livingwellyogaandfitness.com MAT PILATES - 6:30 p.m., Quogue Library, Quogue. 631-653-4224 ext 4 to register for the class, $7 fee. quoguelibrary.org STRAIGHT TALK – REAL PEOPLE – guest speaker Reggie Van Lee 7p.m. Bridgehampton Childcare Center, 631-537-0616. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31 PUPPY KINDERGARTEN – Animal Rescue Fund 5:30 – 6:30 p.m. registration required. $25, 631-5370400, arfhamptons.org JOHNNY B OPEN MIC NIGHT – 9 p.m. –midnight, every Wednesday. Sign up at 8 p.m. Quogue East Pub, 530 Montauk Hwy, East Quogue. 631-653-6677 THURSDAY, APRIL 1 THURSDAY MORNING YOGA – Kripalu Yoga 9:45 a.m., set your own pace. $15. Joshua’s Place, 30 Sanford Place, Southampton 631-287-4100 joshuasplace.org THURSDAY NIGHT JAM SESSION – See March 25 ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST – see March 25 JIM TURNER OPEN MIC NIGHT - See March 25 FRIDAY, APRIL 2 ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST – see March 25 DJ KARO – Blue Sky See March 26 ONGOING MONTAUK PLAYHOUSE – Weekly schedule of adult badminton, men’s basketball, yoga, open gym and more. 631-668-1124 for full schedule. LIFE DRAWING - Uninstructed workshops 10 a.m.–2 p.m., 7–9:30 p.m. Tuesdays. $7. Instructed class 10 a.m.–12 p.m. Thursdays. Veterans Hall, 2 Pond Lane, Southampton. 631-287-4377. FITNESS WITH FIDO - Saturdays. Bideawee presents a free group walk for people and their dogs. 10 a.m., weather permitting. Dogs must be leashed. 631-3250200 ext 118. bideawee.org 118 Old Country Rd., Westhampton. MINDFULNESS MEDITATION CLASS - Guided meditation. Chairs and cushions provided. Free. Sundays, 8:30 a.m. Mandala Ayurvedic Healing Arts, Amagansett Square, Amagansett. 631-267-6144.

For totally complete, up-to-the-minute listings, go to

danshamptons.com click on: Calendar


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 47 www.danshamptons.com

Letters

e-mail Dan at askdan@danspapers.com

SHINNECOCK Dear Dan, Sorry to hear that the Hamptons no longer includes that stretch between Westhampton and the Shinnecock canal. Turns out that Hampton Bays does have banners spanning Main Street/Montauk Highway like Bridgehampton does. But, like the rest of the economy I guess the Hamptons have to cut back somewhere...

Put the blinking lights on the deer. -DR

Jim Kelly East Quogue Via e-mail They’re nipping at Shinnecock. -DR SERIOUS Dear Dan, The serious accidents that occur on our roads causing injury, death, and much damage to the cars because of the deer population crossing our roads, have become a big problem that I think I have the answer to. A regular deer crossing sign is not effective enough. The town should use a blinking light on the “Deer Crossing” sign, solar powered (no cost), making the drivers more aware that there are hundreds of deer that cross all of our roads at all times of day. Most of the deer accidents happen from dusk on through the night…

I would love your opinion on this. Thanks. John Linguiti East Quogue Via e-mail

SPRINGS SCHOOL Dear Dan, Sorry, but Springs sends the most students to the school and should pay their share. Rather than this ridiculous notion of “equalized taxes” at the expense of Amagansett and other districts that send a very minimal number of legal, tax paying enrolled students at already exorbitant real estate and school tax rates try paying based upon Spring’s number/percent of students to the total student body. See how that cost would work out. Amagansett tax payers are sick and tired of paying the way for pre-kindergarten (which is nothing more than day care) and the majority of Springs student population of which a certain number are not even paying their fair share of school and real estate taxes. Get to work on that issue before trying to further spread your issues to the rest of us. An emphatic no to Fred Thiele Jr.’s proposal and the Springs School Board. James Amagansett, NY Via Blackberry It’s public school, not private school. The burden should be shared. -DR

Police Blotter Paintball Sniper A man in East Hampton reported to police that he was shot at with paintballs outside of his home. It was described as a drive by paint-balling, as the suspects did not exit the car and took off after they fired. The man was able to describe the vehicle. It was really, REALLY yellow, with polkadots. Rock Someone in Southampton used a rock to smash in a car window and steal a wallet that contained credit cards. The woman reported no cash missing from her wallet and cancelled her cards immediately. An investigation into any unusual charges is underway. The Tax Man Cometh A man in East Quogue was charged with not paying his taxes after he tried to swindle a $100,000 tax bill from the IRS by changing the decimal place to $10,000. The IRS caught on, and the man was charged with two counts of felonies. $100,000 Worth of Jewelry Police are on the hunt for the robber who made of with $100,000 worth of jewelry and nearly $10,000 worth of electronic equipment from an East Hampton home. Part of the jewelry that was stolen was a black pearl necklace, worth an estimated $30,000.

Shelter Island AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Dang deer. That was close. Everybody okay back there? Shelter Island for Real During the drug dealer sweep where police arrested nine individuals in conjunction with cocaine, the East End Drug Task Force arrested a Shelter Island man, Matthew J. Stromberg, 30, and charged him with the criminal sale of a controlled substance in the second and third degree. According to the report, Stromberg was selling MDMA, which is known commonly on the street as ecstasy. The Shelter Island Police Department did an excellent job with the arrest and has vowed to continue working with outside departments to address all and any drug crimes. Suspiciously Securing A man on the North Fork called police after he saw a suspicious man on his property through a security camera that he installed on his property for just this very reason. When police investigated the incident, they learned that the man that was seen on the security camera was the security camera repairman. By David Lion Rattiner

It’s 5pm... Do you know where your dinner is?

Check out Dan’s Dining Log.


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 48 www.danshamptons.com

Chimney

Fencing & Gates

Place Your Ad Here (631) 537-4900

East End Fence & Gate (631) EAST END eastenddesign@aol.com (631) 327-8363

Painting / Papering

Roofing

OPH Construction Service Division (631) 774-7682

Line Roofing & Siding (631) 287-5042 www.631LINE.com

Window Treatments (631) 744-3533 Wondrous Window Designs www.wondrouswindowdesigns.com

Solar Energy Sunergy East (631)725-8487 www.sunergyeast.com (631)774-7682

Pools & Spas Tri M Pool Care (631)287-2539 www.trimpoolcare.com

Trees/Shrubs

(631) 288-1578 Atlantic Landscape Design & Construction www.atlanticlandscapeservice.com

Propane Vitale Gas (631)589-4779 www.vitalegas.com

Cleaning/ Carpet Cleaning Teresa’s Family Cleaning (631)283-6886 www.teresasfamilycleaning.com

Decks Hampton Deck (631) 324-3021 www.hamptondeck.com

Gutters LeafGuard Gutter Systems, Inc. (516) 551-9903

Garage Doors Place Your Ad Here (631) 537-4900

Kitchens & Baths AnyStyle (631) 285-7138 Place YourKitchen Ad Here anystyle@optonline.net (631) 537-4900

Masonry & Tile Southampton Masonry (631) 259-8200 • (631) 329-2300

Powerwashing East End Decks (631) 329-7150 www.eastenddeck.net

Air / Heating/ Geothermal

Eastern Suffolk Plumbing Hardy Plumbing, Heating & AC ( 631)283-9333 723-2400 www.hardyplumbing.com (631)

Hardy Plumbing, Heating & AC (631) 287-1674 www.hardyplumbing.com

Pest Control The Bug Stops Here Inc. (631) 642-2903 www.Thebugsstopshere.com

Plumbing / Heating Plumbing

Oil Tanks Abandon/Testing Clearview Environmental (631) 859-0717 www.clearviewenvironmental.com

Water Proofing/Mold Removal Island Catastrophe Environment Restoration (631) 909-1412 www.islandcatastrophe.com

Estate Management/Concierge Patriot Contracting 631-283-2240 www.patriotcontractingcorp.com

Landscaping Hutchison Landscaping (631) 728-0167 HLSinc@hotmail.com

Service Directory’s

Make Your House A Home


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 49 www.danshamptons.com

-IND "ODY3PIRIT%NTERTAINMENT$ESIGN'OING'REEN(OME3ERVICES 3ERVICE$IRECTORIES 0HONE    s &AX   

WWWDANSHAMPTONSCOM

s-AKE9OUR(OUSEA(OMEs#ONCIERGE3ERVICESs4AX$IRECTORYs-IND "ODY3PIRIT s%NTERTAINMENTs$ESIGNs'OING'REEN s(OME3ERVICES Health

Massage Therapy

Companion Care USA

VALERIE SMITH

Non-Medical In Home Care Services

Limo Services

AMAZING PARTIES & TOYS

LMT Swedishh & Deep p Tissue

Beach Limousines All New Corporate Towncars 6, 8, & 10 Passenger Limousines • 18-24 Passenger SUV’s

*Meal Prep (prof chef trained)* *Med Reminders/Light Housekeeping* *Laundry/Trans*

From m Montaukk Too Manhattan Throughout the Tri-State Area

CompanionCareUSA.com

1193784

Hourly & Live-In

631-396-1876

• Airport Service • Weddings • Nights on the Town • Theatre • New York City

(917)887-7755 1193593

Massage Therapy

Best Massage New York Magazine

East Hampton

Westhampton

631-324-0108

631-288-7777

“Don’t just have any party, have an amazing party�

Event Planning - Floral Decor - DJs/Bands Costume Characters - Clowns - Petting Zoo & Pony Rides - Bungee Run - Moon Bouncers Inflatable Obstacle Course - Largest Tropical Water Slide Dunk Tank - Face Painting - Tattoos - Tent Tables & Chairs - Linens - Balloons/Arches We’ll Beat ANY Party Supplies & Toys - Pool Decor - Favors Competitors Balloon Bouquets - Balloon Typhoon - Carnival Games Hot Dog Cart - Popcorn - Cotton Candy - SnoCones Rental Prices Highly recommended by many Hampton in The businesses such as The Meadow Club Hamptons! and The Children School to name a few..

Jill Holloway D.C. LMT

East End Limousine

Available Year Round

All New Sedans, SUVs & Limousines Equipped with Satellite Radio & DVD Players

MASSAGE

• DEEP TISSUE • SPORTS INJURIES • PREGNANCY • CLEANSES • REFLEXOLOGY • CHIROPRACTIC AT HOME

Air Conditioning/Heating Heat Pumps/Humidification Custom Wine Cellars

631-734-2827

Service Contracts Available Sales • Service • Installations

1199193

20 Hampton Road Southampton NY

1193697

631 287 9040

KOLB MECHANICAL

Professional Wait Staff • Bartending • Grilling

Heating and Air Conditioning

6 3 1-2 6 7-2242

Patti 631-553-3518 Millie 631-793-9356

631•329•2626

FILIPKOWSKI AIR, INC

A M A Z I N G PA RT I E S . C O M

WWW.BEACHLIMO.NET

1199332

1194087

Air Conditioning/Heating

Party Services

Party Services

www.kolbmechanical.com

Clean Air is Trane Air™

1199253

1198879

Mention this ad for 10%OFF

Photography/Video

Photography/Video

Audio/Home Theater

thru 5/15/10

Slow Deep Gentle

1199565

Unwind Amanda Stevens, LMT

631-276-9377

NYC and the Hamptons

Cell 631-553-5298 1199423

Massage Therapy

Commercial Photography • Portfolioss • Portraiture • Fashion • Fine Art

Dan’s Papers “Best of the Best� Winner since 1995

631-463-5501 Window Treatments

Limo Services

got custom?

SUV’s * BLACK CAR * LIMOS

Window Treatments • Re-upholstery Roman Shades • Blinds Bedding • Pillows • Cushions Natural Woven Shades Baby Bedding • Fabrics Trims • Drapery Hardware

Airports * All Events * Proms * Theatre * Dining * Wineries * Casinos Montauk to NYC and the Tri-State Area

631.603.5185 • 631.834.4006 Service Directory Deadline 5pm Wednesday Massage Therapy

Carla Gargano, LMT, 20 yrs. Experience

Wondrous Window Designs From Inspiration To Installation In Home Consultations

631-744-3533 1866-9-Curtain

Pilates

wondrouswindowdesigns.com

PILATES & YOGA

Cleaning

Instruction By Claudia Matles

Adults Children Beginners to Advanced In Home or Studio

cell 5 1 6 . 4 4 9 . 5 9 5 9 Year Round in the Hamptons NYC-Hamptons-Shelter Island carlasjourney@aol.com

Any Window or Home Fashion Eliminate the Middleman Work Directly with the Designer/Fabricator 1194034

www.HamptonsSUV.com

*BIO-MAT DETOX MASSAGE Helpful with Cleanses *TRADITIONAL SWEDISH *DEEP TISSUE / SPORTS Detailed Neck & Shoulder Work! *PREGNANCY

1199493

Classified Deadline 12 pm Monday

NYS LMT Swedish Medical

ROFESSIONAL

Full digital • Traditional process • Multi-format • Catalog • Web

VIP, DIGNITARY & EXECUTIVE TRANSPORTATION Body Therapy by Tom Lawson

1199455

1193774

Southampton • Bridgehampton East Hampton • New York

Visit Us On The Web @ www.danshamptons.com

Swedish Massage

Massage, Yoga Acupuncture Meditation Weight Loss, Pilates Functional Medicine Tai Chi, Qi Gong Diabetes Counseling Mind/Body Stress Reduction Functional Fitness And more! (631) 726-8800

www.eastendlimousine.com

UNIQUE PHOTOGRAPHY P

1193722

1316403

631.726.7400 Toll Free 866.410.6600

NYC + The Hamptons

631-721-7515

1199561

Residential/Commercial Cleaning Services Using 100% All Natural and Non-Toxic Products.

631-662-9440 Contact Michael

1316407

Touch Art

www.organiccleaning.net organiccleaning@gmail.com

1316450

Visit Us On The Web @ www.danshamptons.com

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 50 www.danshamptons.com

Cleaning

Creative Craftsman Inc.

THE CARPET CLEANER OF THE HAMPTONS

est 1980

Renovation • Builder

Makee Yourr Housee a Home!

CUSTOM AUDIO

www.NpcCarpentry.com

Multi Room Audio Home Theaters Phone Systems Home Automation LCD/Plasma TV’s Pre Wiring Universal Remotes

516.658.8523 Chimneys

35 Years Experience

Cousins Carpet

& Upholstery Cleaning

631-331-3730

Powerwashing

Hampton House Cleaning Specialists

#1 Deck Builder on the East End Decks

• Openings • Closings • Weekly / Bi-Weekly / Monthly

Finest Decks by Big

Matt Home Improvements

Call Lou for Free Estimate

631-294-9627

Chimneys

East End Since 1982

SH+EH Licensed & Insured

eastenddeck.net

AMERICLEAN

631-205-9200

631-345-9393

Design Installation Repair

Insured

AMERICLEANRUS . COM

10% • Boats / Cars OFF Any • Area Rugs Cleaning • Tile & Grout • Outdoor Furniture • Water Removal

Owner Operated Deal Direct

Licensed & Insured

Design Installation Repair

“Specialized In Custom Wood Work”

“We Don’t Cut Corners We Clean Them!!!”

Quality Installation, Repairs, Power Washing and Staining.

1193783

eastenddeck.net

Powerwashing

Licensed & Insured

Residential & Commercial

631-740-0067

#1 Deck Builder on the East End

CLEANING / REPAIRS

CHIMNEY & MASONRY REPAIRS NEW BRICK & BLOCK CHIMNEYS 10 POINT CHIMNEY INSPECTION ROOF & GUTTER REPAIRS Licensed • Insured

Since 1984

281-3500

Highest Quality • Best Service

631-287-9277

631-588-2793

Bonded • Insured

1194004

Deck Replacement • Deck Resurface • Deck Repair

Fax (631)648-7480

Fast, Friendly, Professional Service www.acechimneyexperts.com Pete Vella

Classified Deadline 12 pm Monday

• Custom Home Cinema • Residential & Commercial Audio/Video • Lutron Lighting - Save Energy Beautifully™ • Touch Panels, Automation, Control, Programming • New or Old Construction Wiring WWW.JRSSAV.COM • Flat Panels, Projectors & Speakers Hamptons-Montauk-NYC Call to schedule a free consultation today! • Sales, Service & Installation

Design And Construction Of Fine Exteriors

CSIA Certified Technician

Cleaning Based in Sag Harbor Est. 2002

Audio/Home Theater

www.southamptonhandyman.com

1193727

631.324-3021

Northh & Southh Forks

www.hamptondeck.com

Serving High End Homes on the East End

Cedar • Mahogany • Ipe • TimberTech® Premier Installer

erine’s Cleaning Cath

1193726

1193620

(631) 648-7474

Design • Build • Maintain Cedar • Mahogany • IPE • Composite • Hidden Clips

www.TheCarpetCleaningGuy.net

1316446

631-287-2403 631-298-4545

Fine Oriental Rugs Pet Odor Control TIle & Grout Cleaning/Sealing Carpet Color Repair Water Damage PROS Green Cleaning Systems

of The Hamptons

Year Round Hampton’s Housekeeping

Cell: 631-793-1121 catherinescleaning.com Irish Owned

1316432

Cleaning Service Year Round • Seasonal Residential • Commercial Insured & Bonded Call for a Free Estimate

631-553-5589

jurgita.harold@yahoo.com www.jurgitaandharold.com

Masonry • Hardscapes • Powerwashing • Cleaning

EH License #7347-2009

Jurgita & Harold

1316448

Whole House Audio & Video Home Theater • Security Integration Lighting Control • Shade Control Computer Networks • Audio Prewire Showroom At 6615 Main Rd., Mattituck

Area Rug/Upholstery Cleaning Specialists

1193658

NORTH FORK

1316429

Licensed & Insured

cell 631-294-9627

24 Hour • 7 Days SERVICE

Custom Audio & Video

631.278.8594

• Prompt • Reliable • Professional Quality

Satisfaction Guaranteed

CHIMNEY

1199033

1193735

Bonded

Pro-Line

28 Cameron St., Southampton

1199474

Cleaning

1193790

631-283-4428

www.nfav.com

Ins.

1194070

Trim • Cabinets Windows & Doors Mantels & More! 1198991

• Truck Mounted Steam Cleaning • Carpet • Upholstery • Tile & Grout Like New • Area Rugs • Silk • Wool 1193777

1199009

631-329-8656

NPC CARPENTRY

Custom Carpentry • Custom Renovations & Construction Specialists • Cedar Siding + Shakes • All Decks Designed & Built • Finished Basements • Drafting & Full Permits

We Don’t Cut Corners We Clean Them

www.CreativeCraftsmanNY.com

Decks

Dan W. Leach

AMERICLEAN

Specialties Raised Panel Wall Systems and Rooms Basements • Bathroom • Kitchen Doors • Molding • Crown Lic.

Construction

1193699

Carpentry

1199449

Carpentry

Audio/Home Theater

1199448

(OME3ERVICES

SH License #L000856

Service Directory and Classified Ads are up on Danshamptons.com by 3pm every Wednesday

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 51 www.danshamptons.com

(OME3ERVICES Electrical Contractors

Expert i n L ighting

William m J.. Shea ELECTRIC

PICK UPS & DELIVERIES

26 Years Experience

Landscape lighting specialist Lic. 1316424

631-897-5146

hamptonservices.com

1193734

Call Jimmy

Ins.

631-835-7982 RocheElectrical.com

Driveways

Residential • Commercial

ROBERTS ASPHALT CO. INC. Oil & Stone Driveway Specialist

-S.Peterson,, Owner

RENOVATION SPECIALIST RESIDENTIAL • COMMERCIAL

631 287-2768

Residential & Commercial

(631) 466-2211

B.N.B.

Electricall Contractors

Residential/Commercial Solar Installations LED Lighting

• Residential and Commercial • All Phases of Custom Electrical Work • 24 Hr. Emergency Service

(East End)

Flooring

BAYSHORE WOOD FLOORS INC.

www.invisiblefence.com © 2009 Invisible Fence, Inc.

1198888

• True Dust Containment • Polplaz Finish, • WidePlank Floors,

Classified Dept open 5 days! M-F 8:30am-6pm 631-537-4900

• Free Estimates SERVING THE EAST END FOR 49 YEARS!

Service Directory Deadline

631-283-0008

5pm Wednesday

Fuels/Fuel Services

Fuels/Fuel Services

1193778

Oil Tank

Familyy ownedd businesss forr 60 0 years!

Abandonments - Removals - Installations

• Oil Spill Clean-Up • FREE Estimates • VAC Truck Services • Tank & Soil Testing & Disposal • Site Investigations • Tank Locating • EPA - NYSDEC • LIC Transporter

631-569-2667 631-455-1905

clearviewenvironmental.com

Fences/Railings

For Emergencies Call:

Mentionn thiss Add Gett 5% OFFF discount Gutters

• Solarr Hott Water • Gass Deliveries • Boilerss • BBQs • Appliances

www.VitaleGas.com

631.589.4779 Gutters

Fences/Railings

287-6060 (631)324-6060 (631)

INS.

WILKEN ELECTRIC Specialists in ANYTHING Electric Will beat any written estimate Small ad= Small price Lic & Ins 1198744

1194086

1199086

Locally Serving Long Island since 1985

Environmental

Environmental

OceanElectric.net

1199341

631-399-2033 LIC.

631-878-3625 Licensed & Insured

1193612

Electrical Contractors

Full Service Electrical Contracting

“A family business”

631-467-4478 631-878-4140 www.thefenceguyny.com

powerplayelectric@yahoo.com

1194029

N EW WORK • CUSTOM LIGHTING 24-HOUR E MERGENCY SERVICE SERVING THE EAST E ND FOR OVER 20 YEARS LIC. OWNER OPERATED I NS.

GO GREEN!

(Central Suffolk)

DO O IT T "THE E SHEA A WAY"

“Yourr satisfactionn today bringss uss alll a brighter tomorrow w !”

E LECTRICAL C O N T R A C TO R S

631-283-0758 1316746

williamjsheaelectric.com

For your smallest electrical needs to architecturally designed custom projects.

M.R.C.

Serving the East End

631-668-1600

866-934-0795

Electrical Contractors

Installations • Sanding Finishing • Repairs Custom Staining

MY ONLY BUSINESS IS MAKING HARDWOOD FLOORING BEAUTIFUL!

61 Main Street, Southampton, NY

1193792

Lower Heating g& & A/C C Costss &Improve e YourrAir Quality!

T h e Fe n c e G u y

Canine Control Company

631-475-1906 • RobertsAsphalt@aol.com

HARDWOOD FLOORING

• Jerith Ornamental Aluminum • PVC/Maintenance Free Vinyl • Pool/Tennis Enclosures • Privacy/Security Installations • Baby-loc Removable Pool Fence

Lic & Ins

S.H. LIC. L002553

AirrQualityyIssuess& &Testing Mold dRemediation n

Our Electrical Services Include: • Lighting & Electrical Repairs • House & Home Office Wiring • Generator Sales & Installations • Computer, Telephone Wiring • Home Automation Services

1316420

Blacktop Driveways/Parking Areas Custom Masonry, Cobblestone & Paving Stone New Construction and Resurfacing Free Estimates Family Owned & Operated For Over 36 Years

AIR DUCT CLEANING • CHIMNEY CLEANING & REPAIR DRYER VENT CLEANING WET BASEMENTS

631-254-0082

W W W. S O L O I R O N W O R K S . C O M

RocheElectrical@yahoo.com

Driveways

Duct Cleaning

SERVING THE HAMPTONS FOR 30 YEARS

 CHAMPION

Aluminum - Brass - Steel Specializing in: Pipe Rail - Glass Rail Wrought Iron - Spirals - Estate Gates

24-hrr Emergencyy Service

Commercial - Residential

HANDYMAN HOUSE E WATCHING AIRPORT T RUNS WE A CCEPT CREDIT CARDS

Solo Iron Works Ltd.

1194007

ROCHE ELECTRICAL

...becausee you’vee gott betterr thingss to o do.

Lic./ Ins.

Flooring

Fences/Railings

1193611

Design & Installation

Fences/Railings

1193669

Electrical Contractors

1316401

Delivery/Courier

631-664-7429

www.wilkenelectric.com

1194088

GJS S Electric,, LLC Lightingg Design/Controls Homee Automationn Computer Networks Audio/Video/HomeTheater Landscapee Lightingg Automaticc Generator Sales WWW.GJSELECTRIC.COM (631)) 298-4545 (631)) 287-24033 GARY Y SALICE LICENSED/INSURED

1199598

BUILDERS OF CUSTOM DRIVEWAY GATE SYSTEMS ARBORS • SCREENING TREES PERGOLAS • POOL • STONE PROFESSIONAL FENCE INSTALLATION DEER CONTROL SPECIALISTS

631-EAST-END 327-8363

1194097

eastenddesign@aol.com

516.551.9903

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

1199558


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 52 www.danshamptons.com

(OME3ERVICES

Gutters

Handyman

LIC # 36641-H • FREE Quotes • Fully Insured

288-7272

6 3 1

1193660

631-680-6167

Home Improvement

Handyman

*877(56 Painting Powerwashing Drywall / Spackle Deck Specialist

 6(( 285 1(: :(%6,7(

:::'4*,1&&20 &233(5 $/80,180 352)(66,21$/ ,167$/$7,216 &/($1,1*  $77(17,21 72 '(7$,/ 810$7&+(' &5$)760$16+,3

1194003

Steven’ss Handyman Service

1193691

Handy Man

Needs & Then Some. *Carpentryy *Paintingg *Decks *Roofingg *Sidingg *Repairs *Basementss *Mouldings *Powerwashingg *Caretakingg, Etc. Freee Estimates,, References

1194085

Interior/Exterior Roofing & Siding Windows & Doors Full Tree Service Painting, Powerwashing Deck Repairs You Ask! We Do It! Excellent References

Man

631.723.3935 516.250.7985

1316749

Insured

Deck Repairs Painting Spackling Yard Work Gutter Cleaning Screen Replacements Powerwashing Call Pete

631.283.6176

Residential & Commercial Construction

Free Estimates

631.821.5930

Joseph A. Scutaro - LIC# 13874HI Shoreham, NY 11786 1193694

1194084

• KITCHENS & BATHS • ADDITIONS & RENOVATIONS • FINE CUSTOM CARPENTRY OVER 20 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE! WWW.ROSLIKBUILDERS.COM

880-8722 C E L L MIREK ROSLIK

(631)

Licensed & Insured

631-283-6526

631 680 7766 www.traviskingstudio.com AutoCAD, Drafting & Design Consultation

When nQualityyMatters References

631.324.1264 646.335.7909

1316408

BATHROOM SPECIAL

Complete Rip Out & Refinish

GARAGE SPECIAL

New Garage 22x22 $17,999

I

Exterior

I

Powerwash

Painting I Staining Sheetrock I Spackle Taping I Light Carpentry

631-790-2399 Frankthepainter@gmail.com 1193787

“Trust the World’s biggest name in Home Improvements� FREE ESTIMATES

631-404-6139 631-472-2833

Visit Us On The Web @ www.danshamptons.com

Lic# 460830-H $3,999(Labor Only)

Domers & Extensions

1316756

ISHED TOUC IN

All Types of Home Improvement

Extensionss • Dormer’s Renovationss • Garagess Finishedd basements NC Alll typess off windows Deckk Sanding Haardwoodd Flooring Kitchenss + Baths+Sidingg + Decks Custom m Trim m • Roofingg Expert leakk repairs

CARPENTRY I

.

631.252.8429 9 / 631.210.4603

1193595

CAlle

Dan W. Leach Custom Carpentry

UCTI SWeTR N Service O each Project ON

• Custom Renovations & Construction Specialists • Cedar Siding + Shakes • All Decks Designed & Built • Finished Basements • Drafting & Full Permits

Until Completion.

• Prompt • Reliable • Professional Quality

Rodrigo.calle@yahoo.com

House Watching

TORA & Family LONG ISLAND

HOUSE

WATCHERS We provide complete house watching service for absentee homewoners. We can remodel, clean & do maintenance on your home while you’re away.

Gift Certificates Available Family Owned

631-729-3315

Licensed & Insured

1193702

HOUSE WATCHING

by J I M

15 Years Experience Professional & Dependable References Available

cell 516.449.1389 office 631.324.2028

1199219

Irrigation

Owner Operated Deal Direct

Serving the Hamptons for over 10 Yrs.

917-226-4573 Home 631-907-4155

All Jobs Big and Small All Exterior and Interior • Handyman Projects • Decks & Fence • Painting • Windows • Land Clearing • Misc. • Bath & Kitchen Renovation Specializing in Project Mgt. References Available Licensed & Insured MIKE 631-324-2028 CELL 631-831-5761 1199220

Serving Long Island for 22 Years

Call for other Specials 631-245-2783

• Renovations • Additions • New Construction • Tile Work • Siding • Finished Basements • Roofing • Painting Installed Windows, Roofing, Siding, Gutters, Doors

1193712

ABEL HOME IMPROVEMENTS

INSURED

MASTER CRAFTSMAN

HOME IMPROVEMENTS NEW HOMES

516.315.6846 • 631.878.2864 fax EASTSIDEFASCIA.COM 1316453

Serving the East End since 1997

FinishedCarpentry Libraries•Kitchens Bathrooms• Painting

1193685

Since 1975 Father - Son Team Interior Moulding Siding, Windows Door Kitchens, Baths Termite Repairs

Built-ins • Kitchen & Bath Design • Cabinetry Custom Woodwork • Furniture Design

14 sq.ft. Rip & Reroof $4,199

LICENSED

Interior

A Fair Price For Excellent Work

1316783

ROOFING SPECIAL

Eastside Fascia Inc.

Handy Mike

Call 631-680-1670

General Contractor For ALL Your Home Improvement Needs

E F

• Rental Property Management • Springtime fix-ups • Decking & Handrails • Interior & Exterior Repairs • Complete Home Improvements • Interior & Exterior Moldings • Fixture & Trim Upgrades

Home Improvement & New Construction S PECIALIZING IN : K ITCHENS • B ATHROOMS D ECKS • F INISHED B ASEMENTS

24 Years serving the local community

K ESSON The A+Handiest HomeImprovement

No Job Too Small!

Licensed

631-591-1531

Tile I Ceramic I Kitchens Bathrooms I Backsplashes

Repairs, Maintenance & Renovations 30 Years Experience in All Areas of

H

The Original Hampton Hubby Service LOCAL GUY

Handling All Your Handyman

1193772

Handyman

CONSTRUCTION CORP.

1193768

631-287-9277 www.southamptonhandyman.com

*877(5 3527(&7,21

HOME IMPROVEMENT

Prompt & Friendly Response to All Inquiries

SCUTARO

Call For All Your Handyman Needs

&(57,),(' '($/(5 )25

Hamptons

KAPLAN

631-345-9393 East End Since 1982

1193631

$39.99

Faucet Installations Repair Sub-Pumps, Brick, Block, Stampcrete, Cabinets, Decks, Doors, Electric, Timers/Boiler Controls, Celing Fans, Textured Spackling/Plaster/Painting Biscuit Molding & Framing Brass/Screen Enclosures Gutters Power Washing... 27 Years Hands-On Work Bob: Color Portfolio/References

Home Improvement

FREE ESTIMATES

1199391

Starting at

Home Improvement

A-Repairs-Z

F

• Gutter Repairs • Roof Repairs • Trim Work

Home Improvement

C

GUTTER CLEANING

1193686

Gutters

SH+EH Licensed & Insured

If You’re a Handyman Looking To Do Work This Summer, Advertise Your Services in Dan’s

Call 631-537-4900

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

1316758


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 53 www.danshamptons.com

(OME3ERVICES Kitchen/Baths

Landscape/Garden

Landscape/Garden

Landscape/Garden

Beach

LANDSCAPE & IRRIGATION

Bathrooms LLC.

653-6008

1193646

(631)287-1075 1193701

1193779

www.billfoxgrounds.com

Turf Expert Member GCSAA • NYS DEC Certified Applicator

Steve’s Irrigation

Licensed 1193630

To Our Clients THANK YOU

Lawnn Maintenance CORP. Irrigationn Systems Treee Work Deer Fencing Completee Gardenn Installations Organicc Fertiilization

Installation • Service Start-Up • Winterize Lic/Ins • Free Estimates

(631) 929-1463

1193781

1199459

Landscape/Garden

FREE ESTIMATES Seed & Sod Lawns Installed Spring & Autumn Clean Up EMAIL: GEDSWIFT@AOL.COM Lic. (631)345-5334 Ins. 1316454

Celll (631)) 484-2224

Landscaping GREENLAND FAMILY FARM Organic a Tree from our 0 Emissions Lawn Care Tag 17 acre nursery Spring CleanUps Bio Dynamic Garden Design Compost Tree Pruning & Take Downs Snow Removal

1199218

Licensed and Insured Commercial and Residential 18 Years Experience All Work Guaranteed Owner on Site Free Estimates

1193577

25 years of Experience • Call for Appointment

Lic #41767-H

for Spring Planting Wholesale Prices to the Public Thousands of Pond Fish and Plants

FREE ESTIMATES • INSURED

631-456-1752

1193710

17155 County Rd. 48 Cutchogue NY www.greenlandfamilyfarms.com 1194006

631-734-5791

a full service irrigation company

Insured

Outdoor Expressions

• Landscape Design • Installation & Maintenance • Container Planting • Grading

Free Estimates

• Re-Vegetations • FINE GARDENING

631-680-9953

W W W. B O T A N I S T . B I Z

References Available 1194064

Service Directory and Classified Ads are up on Danshamptons.com by 3pm every Wednesday

GARDEN MAINTENANCE LAYOUT GREEN PRODUCTS LAWN CARE

2249 SCUTTLEHOLE ROAD, BRIDGEHAMPTON WWW. UNLIMITEDEARTHCARE . COM

631.725.7551

Anita Valenti

504.9274

1194002

Sup erior L andscaping S olutions , Inc . • Landscape Maintenance Weekly Lawn and Garden Maintenance Pruning Spring/Fall Clean Ups • Gardening Annual/Perennial Plantings, Privacy Planting,Installation, Mulch, Woodchips, Topsoil • Landscape Construction Land Clearing, Grading, Filling, Drainage Systems, Retaining Walls and Planters Installed, Seed/Sod Lawns, Pond/Waterfall Installation • Masonry • Planning Design 1199209

• Spring / Fall Cleanups • LAWN MAINTENANCE • Hedge & Shrub Pruning

SUSTAINABLE LANDSCAPES INSTALLATION

631

631-766-7131

631-287-8688

1144524

Lic. Ins.

Pesticide Application NYS Certified Arborist & Designer on Staff • Spraying • Deep Root Fertilizing • Trimming • Pruning • Stump Removal • Planting & Transplanting • Drains • Storm Cleanup • Complete Lawn Program • Masonry • Landscape Design • Grading • Brush Clearing • Irrigation • Sod & Seed • Soil Analysis • Low Voltage Lighting

RELIABLE QUALITY SERVICE

See us at JRIRRIGATIONLLC.COM

FREE CONSULTATIONS

(631)909-3454

www.hlicorp.com

NOW OFFERING COACHING SESSIONS!

631-765-3130 • 631-283-8025

631-208-0414

Keeping the oceans cleaner & the earth greener Serving the East End

Comm. Res.

631-723-3190

Ins.

System Turn On Monitoring Winterization Design • Installation Hose Spigots Rain Sensors Licensed & Insured

1193782

1199588

Lic.

631

Garden design, installation, maintenance & decorating Services

FULL SERVICE MASONRY COMPANY

• Tree & Privacy Planting • Irrigation Install & Service • Sod / Seed / Grading • Pavers & Belgian Blocks • Walkways & Patios • Driveways • Aprons, Stone Walls • Weekly Lawn Care / Cleanups • Underground Drainage • Drywells • Bobcat Service • Deer Fence

We work your hours! Dan’s Classifieds and Service Directory open: 8:30am-6pm Monday–Friday

631-537-4900

“We Turn Your Dreams to Greens” “Designing & Building Residential Golf Greens in the Hamptons for over 18 YEARS”

For Information: 631.744.0214

personalputtinggreens.com

Servicing Nassau & Suffolk since 1990 1193587

Service Directory

Alll Island

LANDSCAPING Complete Landscape Provider Lawn Maintenance, Design, planting installation, clean-up, fertilizing, tree trimming, tree removal, flower gardens, indoor flowers, complete property management Call Jim or Mike

Deadline 5pm Wednesday

631-324-2028 631-723-3212

Referencess Available

HAMPTON EAST LANDSCAPING

& Estate Management

Get the Personalized Service You Deserve

Consolidate & Save Up to 20% •Full Service Landscaping •Irrigation•Fertilization•Pool Service

Make One Call & We Will Do It All Call Chris

631-885-2627

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

1193773

Design • Install Maintain • Spring Turn On • Complete, Renovations • Evaluations • Hose Spigots - Dock Lines Wells and Pumps

• New Bathrooms • Repairs/Leaks • Ceramic/Marble Granite • Basement Bathrooms

1193585

Specializing in:

Landscape/Garden

1199221

Irrigation


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 54 www.danshamptons.com

(OME3ERVICES

Excellent References Lic. Ins.

631-324-4212 countryside-eastend.com

IF IT’S MOLD, CALL A CERTIFIED EXPERT AND

 

DESIGN & CONSTRUCTION

All Phases of Masonry Construction

• Ceramic Tile Installation • Bathrooms - Kitchens

Cobblestone • Brickwork Patios • Walkways Ponds • Waterfalls Pool Areas • Driveways Retaining Walls

Insured

Excellentt Locall References

(631)878-5103 www.oceansstone.com

Gambale Brothers CONTRACTING Masonry Designs For your Outdoor Living



Lic. Montauk-NYC Ins.

1199168

Licensed d

631-208-8020

Hampton BRICK

WORKS

Specializing in Outdoor Kitchens, BBQ’s, Bluestone Patios, Brick Paver Systems, Pool area, Driveways, Steps, Walkways Retaining Wall Systems, Landscape Designs.

with this ad

Complete Waterfront Contracting Floating Crane Service 1193690

Shore Line

BULKHEADING Your local Dock Builder and Marine Contractor From Refacing & Repair to New Construction

All phases of bulkheading, piers, floating docks...

631-661-2169 shorelinebulkheading.com email: Bulkheading@aol.com

• Fireplace Specialist • Brick/Stone Patio’s & Pool Surrounds • Brick Barbeques • Pizza Ovens Licensed Insured

631-283-6927 516-848-6936 cell 1193708

1193713

MASONRY CONSTRUCTION

Lic.

631-734-5767

Ins.

ALL STONE RESTORATION

OVER 49 YRS OF STONE CARE CRAFTMANSHIP

Exterior / Interior Stone 3 GROUT CLEANING  CONCRETE POLISHING  TRAVERTINE  TERRAZZO

 GRANITE  MARBLE  PAVERS

Any of your Stone Needs: Polishing • Cleaning • Sealing

1.877.24.STONE • 631.780.5404 Licensed & Insured • www.AllStoneLLC.com

Service Directory

Mold Inspection

7 days a week at Office: 631.929.5454 Cell: 631.252.7775 email: Brad@themoldpro.com web: www.themoldpro.com Montauk to Manhattan 1199239

Classified Dept open 5 days! M-F 8:30am-6pm 631-537-4900

Masonry/Stone/Tile

Construction • Design • Repairs • Chimneys • Brick & Stone Patios • Tile & Stucco Work • Aprons • Stone Walls • All Landscaping Work

Cell:631-831-7634

1194031

www.mgmasonry.com • Licensed & Insured

P R I C I N G

Licensed & Insured

OVER $1,000 WITH THIS AD

Golden Touch Painting

SERVING NASSAU & SUFFOLK FOR OVER 25 YEARS

PPP TRIPLE P PAINTING of Long Island

Full Service Painting Powerwashing Wallpaper Removal Lic. Reliable Ins. Over 21 Years Serving Long Island

631-286-7632

1316412

1194068

631-696-8150 Licensed & Insured

1199482

GCPAINTING & POWERWASHING Over 20 Yrs Experience

INTERIOR/EXTERIOR HOUSE & D ECK

• M AINTENANCE • R EPAIR • M ILDEW R EMOVAL • P AINTING • S TAININGG

Freee 10% OFF Estimates with this ad

Professional Paper Hanger

Do you have a

Damp, Smelly Moldy basement? Allergies, Coughing, Runny Nose, or Asthma

Mold Remediation

ACT NOW TO DISINFECT YOUR BASEMENT!

516-741-MOLD • 516-741-6653 www.bocciabros.com

Tel:: 631-878-3131 Cell:: 516-818-3769

631-728-9090

Are you Suffering from

Milton Guichay Mason Contractor & Landscaping

1198751

Low w Prices

Mold Inspection

Deadline 5pm Wednesday

NYC to East End Daily P Express Delivery To All R Points On The East Coast I (631) 321-7172 C www.mjmovinginc.com I Family Owned & Operated Southampton N G

R A T E

We Do It Right... We Finish It On Time! • Exterior & Interior Painting

All Pro Painting

and Building Science

FACTORY CERTIFIED 18 YRS. EXPERIENCE

CLASSIC CUSTOM DESIGNS • ELEGANCE IN Paving • Driveways • Pool Decks • Walkways • Patios • Retaining Walls • Masonry • Marble • Granite • Block & Brick Work • Cobblestones • Ponds • Waterfalls • Barbeques http://Rychlikmasonry.com

on Local & Long Distance Moving

F L A T

Best Price for Painting Interior / Exterior Powerwashing For inspections, All work guaranteed & Staining testing & Free Estimates removal, call Spackling & Taping Interior, Exterior, Powerwashing, Brad d C.. Slack 17 Years Experience Custom Work, Staining, Certified d Indoor Free Estimates Experienced & Reliable Environmentalist Licensed & Insured Nick Cordovano 27 Years in Construction

1198881

1193654

Masonry/Stone/Tile

Matthew w Rychlik

1194062

631-728-3364

www.hamptonbrickworks.com andy@hamptonbrickworks.com

R A T E

1-866-WE-GUARANTEE (934-8272) Flat Rate Pricing No Hourly Minimums

Painting/Papering

Painting/Papering

licensed & insured

10% % OFF F K. Maniscalco Mason Contractor Serving the East End for 20 Years.

• Mold/Fungi Investigating And Consulting • Air Sampling For Testing And Analyzing of Fungi And Other Airborne Pollutants • Mold/Fungi Remediation

MOLD

631-723-2821

Marine Services

Company Inc. • Gabions • Floating Docks Built & Installed • Docks Built-House Piling • Retaining Walls • Excavation & Drainage Work Contact Kenny

631.873.5098

Can Be Harmful To Your Health and Your Home

Bus./Fax:

1194028

Tide Water Dock Building

F Local-Long Distance-Overseas L GET RID OF IT RIGHT A THE FIRST TIME! T

1193687

631-445-1644

Lic. / Ins.

Moving/Storage

Board Certified ampmenvironmental.com

“FOR ALL YOUR MASONRY AND TILE NEEDS” Gunite Pool Construction Specialitsts Andrew Mobile:

631-435 -1894

1199066

EAST END

• Brick Patios & Walks • Belgian Block Curbing

1316455

• Design • Installation • Garden Renovations • Transplanting • Ponds/Waterfalls • Fine Gardening • Lawn Maintenance • Re-vegetations • Perennial Gardens • Natural Screenings • Irrigation Installations/Service • Tree/Shrub Pruning & Removals • Spring/Fall Cleanups • Sod • Mulch • Bobcat Service/Land Clearing • Also Specializing in Masonry • Landscape Lighting

Mold Inspection

1194094

Countryside Lawn & Tree

OCEAN N STONE & TILE

Masonry/Stone/Tile

1194098

Masonry/Stone/Tile

1193705

Specializing in All Types of Wallpaper Call Chris

516.322.8889

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

1193700

Landscape/Garden


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 55 www.danshamptons.com

(OME3ERVICES Painting/Papering

Painting/Papering

Painting/Papering

Painting/Papering

Pa inted to Perfection

Safetyy Coverss • Marblee Dustingg • Pooll Patios

Alll from m onee Masonryy Company

Interiorr / Exterior

THOMAS J. PAMPALONE • Residential • New Construction • Commercial

1199547

LIC.

MIKE

Painting Powerwashing  Staining Scott Anthony’s

M. W . Lavelle PAINTING & RESTORATION INC.

Custom m Paintingg Locall Homess & Businesses

&Son

Painting Inc. “Quality With Pride”

Sincee 1986 SPECIALIZING IN Interior/Exterior Painting

Specialize In:

• Pressure Washing RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL CARPENTRY • Apply & Remove Wallpaper TOTAL PROFESSIONAL PAINTING SERVICES Timely, Responsible, Trustworthy References

Old World Craftsmanship, Integrity & Meticulous Quality at a Fair Cost

1199597

Painting & Staining Spackling & Sheetrock Wallpaper • Mildew Removal Cedar Siding and Decking Experts Decorative Tilework George Hadjipopov

Custom Colors & Designs

631-839-6144

You’ll be glad you called us

631-588-5885

1199169

Licensed & Insured Free Estimates

Golden Eagle Painting

Interior/Exterior Specialists

• Powerwashing & Staining • Wallpaper Removal • Sheetrock Repair • Tilework • Moldings • Decks • Basements • Spackling

20 Years Experience 1194072

Serving the East End for over 20 years Licensed & Insured - Superb References

www.housepainterseastend.com P.631.668.9389 C.516.768.2856

Wallpaper Wall Covering

631-730-8178 631-742-7774 cell Owner On All Jobs

1199497

1193692

631.546.8048

Faux Finishes/ Wall Treatments

NO SHORT CUTS

cell:

1193721

Advanced Painting Interior & Exterior Interiors

• Prepping and Custom Finishes • Interior & Exterior

Insured/Lic# 28843-HI

Long g Island d Marblee g Inc. Dusting n Resurfacing g of Expertss in Commerciall & Residential Gunitee Swimming Poolss & Spas. Coping,, Tilee & Pool Renovation.

631-907-4179 631-329-0099

Residential - Commercial - Condos

Neat - 21 Years Experience

Reasonable Prices FREE Estimates

KazdinPools,Inc.

Lic. & Ins.

GENIE PAINTING CO. INC.

631.543.2404 Plumbing

sam

mechanica

Heating, Air & Plumbing Oil Burner Service Installation, Water Heaters Clogged Drains

631-775-7502 sammechanical.net

1316411

CLAUDIO’S PAINTING CORP. “Choose Claudio’s Painting Get Rich Results!”

INTERIOR R / EXTERIOR Powerwashing Staining & Wallpaper Removal Great References / Insured

631-395-8997 claudiospainting.com

1199418

631-736-7214

1198890

Ricci

MARBLEE DUSTING

1194069

1194066

631.653.6131

1193730

Molding Work  Decks  Basements  Owner on all jobs 

631-351-4089

Old Fashioned Quality Workmanship

631.325.8929

631.259.8929

ALL PHASES OF CARPENTRY

Free Estimates Best Price for Painting, Lic. & Ins. Power Washing, 631-288-INCE (4623) & Deck Services

Interior - Exterior Painting & Staining Power Washing

Get the Job Done Right

1193789

Interiors / Exteriors

PAINTING

Celebrating 23 Years in Construction & Service of Gunite & Vinyl Swimming Pools

Wallpaper Removal  Spackling the 1st Time Sheet Rock Repair Tile Work Licensed & Demolition Insured Interior/Exterior Painting Specialists

PROFESSIONAL

“For A Crystal Clear Splash”

631•722•4057 25 Years Serving Long Island for over

INCE PAINTING

WE

INS.

“Quality Craftsmanship from start to finish”

Marco Plumbing

Complete Bathroom Installations All Phases of Plumbing / Heating Work Alterations, New Work North & South Fork to Montauk

631-929-8229 631-668-9319 Lic. 631-560-1194 Ins. Over 30 yrs of experience

1316409

New w Wavee Pooll & Spa

• Liners • Leak Detection • Tile Repairs • Renovations • Heaters • Safety Fences • Loop~Loc Covers • Openings & Closings • Weekly Service Cell 0ffice

1194071

1194063

Andyy Rego

andy@hamptonbrickworks.com www.hamptonbrickworks.com Member of

631-740-0062

SINCE 1978

with this ad

Gunitee & Vinyll Construction n Specialists

Residential • Interior • Exterior Wallpaper removal • Installation Drywall Installation and repair Powerwashing Deck Treatments

917-699-1283

10% % OFF

FREE Estimates

FULLY INSURED • REFERENCES • FREE ESTIMATES NYC

(631) 723-2821 office/fax (631) 445-1644 cell

Local Co. Lic’d/Ins’d

PAINTING CO. • • • • •

WORKS

Pools/Hot Tubs/Spas

POOL L & SPA 1193714

917-306-4061

BRICK

1194005

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!

Hampton

“Picture it painted Professionally” 2007 Award Winner

Specializing in Interior & Exterior Painting, Sheetrock, Taping, Plaster, Skim Coating & Powerwashing

Paul Venturini

Pools/Hot Tubs/Spas

Established 1972 For A Lasting Impression

• Vinyl + Gunite Construction • Spas • Supplies • Service 833 County Rd. 39, Southampton, NY 11968

631-283-4884

631-560-48488 • 631-219-9458 www.newwavepoolspa.com

1193575

www.kazdin.com

Servicee Discounts Available “Greatt Call Now Servicee att a For Greatt Price” Details!

Our advertisers renew their Service Directory ads year after year.

A Fulll Servicee Company • Certified pool operator on staff • Opening / Closing, Repairs • Weekly & Bi-Weekly • Loop Loc safety cover, fences • Pool Heaters • Pool Liners • Tile & Marble Dusting • Renovation • Residential & Commercial

Call our Classified Dept. and make Dans’ your storefront. 631-537-4900

jwpoolservice@aol.com

adinfo@danspapers.com

JW’s Pool Service

Lic. 631-874-0745 Ins. 1193766

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 56 www.danshamptons.com

(OME3ERVICES Power Washing

Power Washing

Roofing/Siding

Roofing/Siding

Roofing/Siding

Window Cleaning

LINE ROOFING & SIDING CO. Est.1989

• COMMERCIAL

• CERTIFIED INSTALLER

RESIDENTIAL

FROM THE CEDAR SHAKE

L

& INDUSTRIAL • FREE ESTIMATES • 24/7 EMERGENCY

Serving ALL Fully Insured of Long Island sparklewindowcleaninginc.com

& SHINGLE BUREAU I NE

HOME IMPROVEMENT Siding & Roofing Specialists

• MASTER INSTALLER OF

631.345.5760 516.735.2460

GAF ASPHALT

SERVICE

Visit Our website: www.631line.com

We are a family owned and operated window cleaning company. We are always on the job site, our entire staff consists of year round professionals, using no seasonal labor, and we are committed to 100% customer satisfaction

631 287 5042

From Leaks to Re-Roofing and New Installations

WE DO IT ALL!! Cedar Shingles, Asphalt, Metal, Copper, Slate, Flat Roof, White Reflective EPDM System, Gutter System, Composite Cement Board & Vinyl Siding, Carpentry Work, Aluminum Vinyl LICENSED AND INSURED IN SH & EH ASK FOR OUR 10 YRS CRAFTSMANSHIP GUARANTEE

1193707

We work your hours!

open:

The Last Roofing Decision You’ll Ever have to Make!

8:30am-6pm

Gutters & Leaders Installed

631-537-4900

STRIKE FORCE

NYC

631-382-9300 WWW.STRIKEFORCEMAINTENANCE.COM

Private Investigations

631-366-5178

#All work comes with a 10yr guarantee#

R

F O -OEST.. 1981I1 - N

1193627

G

All Types of Investigative Services

1194033

Armed Executive Protection Across the USA Surveillance * Workers Comp Disability * Locates * Nanny Cams * Infidelity Cases Background Checks * Insurance Fraud & More

Security/Alarms

Security/Alarms

E

ROOF LEAKS

SPECIALIZING

P

S

Insured

1198872

631-723-3212

www.wedowindowsusa.com

1193794

ELITE PROTECTIVE SERVICES

GARYY NEPPELL

Licensedd

1-800-924-3332

Call now to reserve our services

Forr Alll Yourr Roofingg Needs 631-324-31000 • 631-727-6100

PRIVATE DETECTIVE FIRM

Service Directory and Classified Ads are up on Danshamptons.com by 3pm every Wednesday

Free Estimates

For fast, friendly service call:

All Island SNOW REMOVAL

CONTRACTOR

Private Investigations

www.LIPrivateEye.com Licensed * Bonded * Insured Montauk to NYC 631.603.5185 631.834.4006

Residential & Commercial

NOBODY CLEANS WINDOWS LIKE WE DO!

Snow Removal

Shinglee & Flatt Rooff • Installationn & Repairs Skylightss & Leakss Repairedd • Powerwashing

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT SYSTEMS

HOME MONITORING PROGRAMS 24/7 HOME OPENINGS AND CLOSINGS PROPERTY AND POOL MAINTENANCE EXTERMINATING SERVICES ALL PHASES OF CLEANING, INSIDE AND OUT EMPLOYEES INSURED AND BONDED SECURITY SYSTEMS ONE STOP HOME MAINTENANCE SERVICE CO.

EST. 1986 LIC./INS.

1193625

IN

ALL PHASES

OF

SECURITY

EXECUTIVE PROTECTION INVESTIGATIVE SERVICES COMMERICAL SECURITY - ESTATE SECURITY CONSULTING AND PLANNING SECURITY SYSTEMS

OWNERS JOHN ROACH - DEREK MULNARD

Window Cleaning

516-790-8612 516-242-1975

1199427

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Dan’s Classifieds and Service Directory

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631.283.2956 Long Island • Palm Beach Planning on Fixing Up Your Home This Summer? Call One of The Many Vendors in Dan’s Service

Directory...And Tell Them You Saw Their Ad in Dan’s

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 57 www.danshamptons.com

(OME3ERVICES%MPLOYMENT Window Cleaning

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Window Dressing

Draperies, Wood Blinds, Honeycomb Shades, Roller Shades, Vertical Blinds and more! Great selection of the best brands.

South Fork

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Top Quality Brands Free in-home consultations Free Measuring Expert installations & repairs 1316752

Call today 631-708-4978 or email us: window-dressing@optimum.net or visit our website: www.window-dressing.net

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#LASSIFIED3ERVICE$IRECTORIES

Having Family & Friends Over? Call One of Dan’s Service Directories & Treat Yourself to Some Help

Dan’s Papers

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To find the Service Providers you need. Tax Directory • Mind, Beauty & Spirit Design • Going Green Entertaining • Home Services

General

Beauty/Health/Fitness

10 Positions: Temporary/ seasonal work planting, cultivating and harvesting sod on a sod farm. From 4/2/2010 to 11/15/2010 at L. DeLea & Sons, Inc., East North Port, NY. Three months previous experience required in the job described. Saturday work required. Must be able to lift/ carry 60lbs. Employer paid, random, upon suspicion, and post accident drug testing required. $10.72/ hr or applicable 2010 AEWR. Workers are guaranteed three- fourth of work hours of total period. Work tools, supplies equipment supplied by employer without charge to worker. Housing with kitchen facilities provided at no cost to only those workers who are note reasonably able to return same day to their place of residence at time of recruitment. Transportation and subsistence expenses to work site will be paid to nonresident workers upon completion of 50% of the job contract. Interviews required. Apply for this job at, or send resume to nearest State Workforce Agency, or New York State Department of Labor, 160 S. Ocean Ave., Patchogue, NY 11772. Provide copy of this ad. JO#NY0933542.

Ananas Spa in Southampton Village, looking for a HAIRSTYLIST, experience preferred. Please fax or email resume to Melinda: 631-287-3983, info@ananasspa.com

General High End Landscape Company, Installation and Design Firm: Looking for motivated individual with a minimum of 10 years experience in landscape installation and plant care. References required. Licensed and legal, bilingual a plus. Contact (631)537-9672 JONATHAN MORSE Photographer Seeks models for fine arts photography. www.photomorse.com (631)725-0202

MODELS WANTED Art / Photography 631-329-5550 Leave name and number Speak slowly and clearly

Ananas Spa located in Southampton Village is looking for a Front Desk Receptionist Part Time. Experience preferred Please contact Melinda 631-287-9099 Please fax: 631-287-3983 or email resume to info@annansspa.com M Salon East Hampton looking for experienced Receptionist, weekends are a must. Multi-tasking, organized, good telephone skills. (631)324-3036

Domestic/ Personal Assistant ESTATE PROFESSIONAL CARE: LIVE-IN. Year round, long term employment for maintenance/ groundskeeper and/ or cook/ housekeeper in estate section of East Hampton. Housekeeping duties must include excellent cooking skills, meal planning & preparation, cleaning, laundry, ironing, serving, shopping. Groundskeeper duties include maintaining house, lawn & grounds, automobiles and pool. Some driving required. Weekends a must. Household consists of 2 adults and 2 loving and well-mannered dogs. Clean, current driver's license required. Separate furnished apt and utilities included. Must speak & understand fluent English and have 5 years of checkable references. Please send complete resume and references to: Household, P.O. Box 959, East Hampton, NY 11937 Caretaker/ Houseman Needed F/T, must have drivers license, be local to Bridgehampton and speak English. Duties include: house watching/ maintenance, lawn maintenance, painting, auto care, also maintaining Manhattan apt. (347)610-4118

Visit Us On The Web @ www.danshamptons.com

Domestic/ Personal Assistant

AL MARTINO AGENCY DOMESTIC SEARCH SELECT HOUSEHOLD STAFFING REVIEWED IN N.Y. TIMES, FORBES & DEPARTURES Magazine *Private Chefs* Our Specialty We Represent The Very Best in The Industry Estate Managers, Couples Chauffeurs, Butlers Personal Assistants Nannies, Housekeepers, Caretakers DETAILS SEE WEB MARTINODOM.COM almartinoagency@aim.com 212-867-1910 Fax 212-867-1917

Hamptons Leading Agency

Food/Beverage Part Time Spring/ Summer Sales Associate in Hamptons Wine Store. Wine experience required. Seeking individual with wine knowledge for part- time mostly weekend position in East Hampton. Must possess strong communications, listening, customer service and sales skills. Please email resume to:: info@hamptonswines.com

Labor/Building Trades Excavating Company looking for Driver/ Operator willing to help with all aspects of drainage worrk. Some experience necessary. Will train. 631-725-1236 Landscaper wanted, Must have Valid Drivers License 3 yrs experience in residential property care Good growth opportunity for dedicated worker. 631-484-2224 gedswift@aol.com

Management/Professional HAMPTON DOMESTICS Our 30th Year * Private Chefs * Butler/ Houseman * Couples * Housekeepers * Nannies * Household Managers * Estaate Managers * Senior Companions * Groundskeepers * Home Health Aides * Nannies * Personal Assistan nts * Chauffeurs/ Security 631-725-1527 631-458-4129 (fax) (Hamptons) 212-838-5900 (New York City) DOMESTIC POSITIONS AVAILABLE HAMPTONDOMESTICS.COM Placing Professional Staff in Americas Finest Households New York. Palm Beach.. Miami

Plumber: Service Manager for expanding East End contractor. Estimating, dispatching, customer service, pricing, sales, job supervision, computer knowledge. Excellent salary, benefits, 401k, vehicle allowance, bonus. Career opportunity. Southampton area. Call Jen at (631)283-9333.

Retail FAHRENHEIT 451 & FAHRENHEIT 4 KIDS is looking for SALES ASSOCIATES. Yearround, part/ full time or summer season (MD- LD). Must be able to work weekends. Candidate should be outgoing, responsible & have a fashion sense of current trends. 631-288-5724

Classified Dept open 5 days! M-F 8:30am-6pm 631-537-4900

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 58 www.danshamptons.com

%MPLOYMENT$ANS#LASSIFIEDS2EAL%STATEFOR2ENT Retail RETAIL MANAGER IN UPSCALE FURNITURE/ LIGHTING/ ACCESSORIES SHOWROOM Interior Architecture & Design is our gig and our venue is our upscale furniture and accessories studio. Drafting, space planning and interior design education and/ or experience is preferred, but most important is an eye and passion for design, a sense of humor, and a personality that enjoys people and working in retail. Non-smoking stoore. Full time, year round position in the retail department. Must work weekends. Please email resume and/ or portfolio to dstudio@hamptons.com. Website: www.designstudio-ny.com.

Merchandise Wanted JEWELRY WANTED Highest prices paid GUARANTEED for diamonds, gold, silver & collectibles, any condition! We will Beat ALL PRICES! Call (516)639-1490

Business Opportunities RESTAURANT RIVERHEAD $18K/ week franchise. 120 seats. Full bar. Owner operated 15 years. 10 year lease. (516)527-0753

Catering/Chef Services

Flooring Carpet Installation

Dannywb88@yahoo.com.

Licensed driver seeks position as PRIVATE CHAUFFEUR. 6 years experience as limousine driver. Paul (347)210-2464 Nurses Aid/ Companion to the elderly, live-in, 5-7 days per week. Excellent references. Call Hazel (718)864-8180

Long Standing Collector wishes to expand collection of guns, swords. Cash paid. Free appraisals. Instant decisions. Strictly Lloyd confidential. 631-325-1819

Call 631-793-1121 AUTO DETAILING Full Detail Services, Window Tinting, Pin Striping, Vinyl Lettering, Dent Removal, Cars, SUVs, RVs, Boats, Bikes. FREE PICKUP AND DELIVERY. Call DAVE at (631)745-1724

Announcements Retired person would like to form group for "No Stakes" Texas Holdem or other. Al 631-728-1938

We Buy Cars 516-504-SOLD (7653) www.greatneckcarbuyers.com

Merchandise for Sale Dining Room Table, spectacular mint condition, formerly owned by famous celebrity chef. 8' pine beautiful patina, fluted piano legs, $1,000. 917-783-5934 Pool table and home gym for sale. Call for details. (843)991-5304. Steinway Grand Piano, excellent condition. Must Sell! Please call Mike (516)429-9756 STOVE, ELECTRIC 40 inch GE, 2 years old, like new, replaced with gas stove. $600. (631) 329-1350

www.catherinescleaning.com

A.M. COMPLETE HOME IMPROVEMENTS

CLEANING PERSON Experienced! Top notch! Will clean & take care of your home. Great refs., reasonable rates, licensed.

All phases of Home Improvement including Decking, Siding, Roofingg, Interior/ Exterior, Master Carpenter

Valentina 631-255-45 575

Based in Sag Harbor

(631)276-1666 EXPERIENCED and responsible expert will clean your house for reasonable rates. (631)871-0411 EXPERIENCED WOMAN from Europe cleans your house or office. References available. (631)276-9227

House cleaning/ References. 10 years experience, reasonable rates. Year round preferred/ sea900 sq. ft. Health dept & Village sonal welcome. Lurdes Approvals for Mini Spa, Nail 631-8753641 Salon, Massage/ Therapy. Westhampton Beach, Old Riverhead JACOBA BONILLA House Rd. Ron (516)456-3186 Cleaning. Residential. Commercial. Year Round, Monthly, INVESTORS WANTED Weekly. References Available. Indoor Drag Racing Event (631)725-1392 (631)276-1104 Center for Long Island real cars, real racing, Karen's Housecleaning real competition. Trusted, professional, First to market concept. cleaning service. Monthly, Pre Franchise weekly, bi-weekly, home/ opportunity for investors. office, move-in, move-outt. HIGH ROI.

Business Opportunities

CALL (631)513-3338

(631)384-2432

Landscape/Garden Anderson Landscapes Inc. Design- Construct- Build. All phases landscape construction. Estate size quality material. (631)673-0080 Large specimen trees including Copper, Weeping Green, Tri Color, Beeches. Huge assortment Weeping Maples. 631-849-2608

Marine Boat Waxing, washing, compounding, weekly service, metal, interiors. Insured & bonded. 631-728-2323

Moving/Storage Always Available. Driver & Truck for your light hauling needs. House Cleanouts. Call 631-723-3456, 631-946-2565.

Summer Rentals EAST HAMPTON

Convenient shop at home service, over 20 years of experience, licensed and insured. Fast & Friendly. Available 7 days a week. Call or E-Mail Ted (631)926-5959.

Restaurant ambience, at home enjoyment! Have Chef Lance Garages prepare fresh, delicious food for you & your friends. Garage Space, Southampton (631)682-3837 Village, from $2,000 and up. www.cheflans.com Call (631)287-1463, leave mesYour own private chef for just sage. $35 hour. CIA Graduate. All Tag/Yard/Estate Sale occasions. (631)578-0798 Handyman East Hampton: Saturday 3/27, www.needachef.com 9am- 3pm. 33 Palma Terrace. InA-1 ODD JOBS- Carpentry, door Estate sale! Contents of Classes/Instruction Painting, Tile Work, Powerhome including pool table and washing, Estate Management. work out equipment. French Classes by native Pari- No Job Too Small! Licensed ESTATE/ HOME SALES. We sian. Adults/ children. All lev- and Insured. (631)728-8955 Le Cercle Francais. are the experts. We know how els. to do it right. Call Lloyd! (631)725-2128 Call Cheap Richard. Any 631-325-1819 Spring clean up or Indoor Carpentry! Cheapest price! EveryCleaning one needs a Handyman HAMPTON BAYS A VOTRE SERVICE! 631-714-0595, 631-399-0103. MOVING SALE Quality Housekeeping. ProperSaturday, March 27 ty Management. Professional 9am- 3pm Handyman For Weekends!!! Organizer. Personal Service. 15 Realnautic Court Time for Spring Clean-Up & Volunteer Experience. Reliability. Gorgeous high end Designer Much Much More. Cell (631)725-2128 Furniture not to be missed! 631-644-5560 call for references ADVOCATES NEEDED www.AVSHamptons.com meteogun@hotmail.com Family Service League’s Ombudservice is seeking volunteers Automotive to train as advocates for nursing Home DÊcor and adult home residents in SufCATHERINE'S ALL VEHICLES folk County. Trained volunteers CLEANING SUPERIOR UPHOLSTERY WANTED $$$. visit once a week to improve the Custom made furniture. All type TRAILERS, BOATS, quality of their lives and to see Full Service re-upholstery (631)871-2728. TOOLS. their rights are protected. For Housekeeping $50- $5,000 training and information call Based in Sag Harbor (631) 474-3161 (631)427-3700 ext. 240 Home Improvements DMV# 7099438

Situation Wanted

Moving/Storage

Adorable Cottage steps to Bay. 1 Bedroom, 1 bath, AC. Private. GOODFRIEND SELF STORAGE Climate controlled Nice “move in� truck 631-324-5550

Painting/Papering

JM Painting No Job Too Small Serving Westhampton to Montauk Experienced, Reasonable 631-664-3112

Sewing Carmen’s Custom Alterations, curtains, drapes, slipcovers, cushions, blinds. References. Free pickup and delivery. 631-726-0093

Trees/Shrubs ANDERSON NURSERY INC. Estate size, specimen material. Large selection. Locally grown perennials, starting $3.00. (631)673-0080

Newly renovated with new kitchen and bath. Also new outdoor shower. Affordable summer retreat. Season $10,500 (9917)714-6432 or (631)267-6413

EAST HAMPTON Beautiful home, 4 BR, 3 baths, fully furnished, CAC, Pool, private area, Full Season or Monthly $28,000 Dora (631)905-1682 East Hampton, Dune Alpin Sunny, contemporary 2 BR plus sleeping loft. New kitchen, 2.5 Baths, AC, pool and tennis. Bike to ocean. Walk to Red Horse. August 1 - LD $14,000. Owner (212)228-9678 (631)537-7519 EAST HAMPTON newly built furnished 4 bedroom, 3 bath, heated inground pool, eat in kitchen, living room, dining room, laundry room, CAC, fireplace, 2 car garage, backs to reserve. Season $29k Flexible terms. (516)779-0710

Summer Rentals BRIDGEHAMPTON 4 Bedroom, 3 bath, 2 private acres. Great home: Pool, Large Deck, Pretty Landscaping. Lots of lawn! Terrific Master Suite (Double Jacuzzi). 2-story Great Room (Beamed Ceiling). Minutes Hampton Classic, Sag Harbor, Ocean Beaches. MDLD: $39,000. July- LD $37,000. Shorter/ longer periods possible. (917)797-8838

East Hampton: renovated 5 BR, 3 Bath, Hands Creeks Harbor contemporary, cathedral ceilings, skylight, frplc, extra large deck & pool. MD-LD $35k. 919-6494164 www.handscreekrental.com.

East Hampton/ Sag Harbor contemporary saltbox in private wooded setting. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lovely heated pool, CAC, fireplace. Extraordinary master suite with Jacuzzi. SeaBRIDGEHAMPTON French son $29,000. (212)560-2203 Provencal home, 3 bedrooms, 3 Long Season Available. baths, 1.6 acres of farmland, sunset views, bordering natural reserve, heated pool, fireplace, two EAST HAMPTON VILLAGE car garage, CAC. Photos on 5 bedroom historic farmhouse www.hamptonsrealestate.com situated on .6 acre, recent upfor #43192 listing. Pets Wel- scale renovation, wide- plank come. MD- LD $45K. July flooring. Walk town, bus or $25k. Aug- LD $35k. Sale price: train. MD- LD $32,000, $1,900,000. (917) 340-9149 $44,000 year round. Bridgehampton SOH- walk to (516)635-8437 village/ bike to beach. 3 BR, 2 ba, newly furnished, CAC, grill, wbfp, d/w, wireless internet. MD- LD $32k, July $17k, Aug.LD $19k. Call Janet 917-974-1355

EAST QUOGUE: 1910 quaint farmhouse, 4 BR, 2 bath, quiet street, 1 block from Bay, 15 minutes to Ocean beach, updated kitchen. Available weekly, seasonal. Owner East Hampton GREAT DEAL! monthly, Beautiful 3 BR, 2 bath, heated (570)224-6773 pool, CAC, sun room, 2 frplc's, very private, backs to reserve. East Quogue: Waterfront Inn MD- LD $27k. Pool maintenance Beach, Dock, Private Furnished included. Flexible terms. Email Rooms from $2,300 total. MD nytoothdoc@aol.com for photos September 15th. 631-728-9835 917-232-7002. www.caffreyhouse.com EAST QUOGUE: EARLY BIRD SPECIAL Waterfront. Cozy 3 bedroom cottage with dockage. MD- LD $6,000 negotiable. (631)742-4940

Classified Deadline 12 pm Monday

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 59 www.danshamptons.com

2EAL%STATEFOR2ENT Summer Rentals

Summer Rentals

HAMPTON BAYS/ SOUTHAMPTON Water view. 1 Bedroom or efficiency unit available. Furnished Near college. Reasonable. (631)764-3834 (631)283-8676

SAG HARBOR near beach, near village. 1 bedroom loft: MD- LD $10,500. Extended season available. 2 bedroom July & August $10,500. (516)459-9598

Hamptons WATER VIEW Condos & Cottages Sales & Rentals Call Barbara 631.377.1369 Direct Simon Harrisoon Real Estate Noyac Classic cedar cottage on large private property. 3 Bedroom, 1 Bath. Cable, AC, outdoor shower, pets okay. Walk to Clam Island and Morton Preserve. Boat ramp 500 feet from property. MD- LD $10K . (516)870-2780. jobar1111@aol.com.

Sag Harbor Village 1 BR, 1 bath apt in historic district, walk to all, newly renovated. Gas heat & hot water, no pets. On-site parking. Long Season $13,500 631-725-1743. Shelter Island The "Un-Hampton" Beautifully Restored Waterfront - Private Beach, Magnificent Sunsets, Solarium, Southwest Breezes, 4 BR, 4 bath, Private Verandas, Gourmet Kitchen, Library. Close to Ferry, Hamptons. July $40,000. August $40,000 or Both for $75,000. IN#70199 See Our Fine Selection of Summer Rentals on our Website www.ketchamproperties.com Geoorgiana B. Ketcham, Licensed Real Estate Broker

Quogue: Bay Front Spectacular 5,000 sq ft Contemporary. Lavish great room/ dining area/ wall of windows looking out to bay. Gourmet kitchen, private, spacious master bedroom, sitting room, jacuzzi bath. 4 additional guest bedrooms, 7.5 baths. Beautiful water side, heated gunite pool, water fall, hot tub and hartru tennis court. MDLD $175,000. Rose Alfano Lic. R.E. Salesperson631-335-8810 r a @ f i r s t h a m p t o n r e a l t y. c o m www.gothamptons.com QUOGUE: South Highway, 2 BR cottage, pool, W/D, walk/ town, bike/ beach: $15,000 MD- LD. Owner (212)381-3223 SAG HARBOR: Quiet cul-de-sac, walk to beach. 3 BRs, 2 bath, high ceilings, full basement, outside entrance. Seasonal $20,000 Yearly $2,400/ month. Owner (631)553-6395 SAG HARBOR large 6 BR, 4.5 bath home with 2 LR's, DR, Family room, and EIK. Large screened in porch, mahogany deck, 20 x 40 heated gunite pool, nestled between main house and add'l 1,000 sq ft cottage with own kitchen/ bath. Mature trees, private nicely landscaped, 2 driveways provide ample parking, CAC in both buildings, flat screen TVs, outdoor sound system, finished basement sports court, fenced in yard. Walk to private beach, mooring, boat also available at add'l charge. MDLD $70,000 July- LD $60,000 (631)259-1694 Shinnecock Hills: charming studio co-op, waterview, pool, quiet. 5 min to Village, no pets/ smoking. $9,000 OBO June- LD. 631-283-3068

Shorewood Office 631-749-0800 Heights Office 631-7499-3388

Summer Rentals

Summer Rentals

Summer Rentals

Year Round Rentals

Westhampton: Great 4 BR, 3 Bath. Air Conditioned. Heated Pool. Private Acre. Cable TV. Internet. Season $23,500. Owner (631)288-6458 or (212)375-9100

Westhampton/ Remsenburg Charming guest cottage, 1 BR on family estate with pool, tennis and boat dock. $5,000 per month. (631)882-1986 WESTHAMPTON Two houses near train station, with pool: Studio cottage, bath, season $7,500; 2 bedrooms, all appliances, season $10,000. Owner (516)445-1005 textilemarty@yahoo.com

SOUTHAMPTON Newly renovated 1 bedroom cottage, suitable for 1. $1,300 monthly plus electric. 1 month security, 1 month rent. No pets, no smoking. Section 8 welcome. (516)624-0568

Year Round Rentals

Weekly Rentals

Bridgehampton: alcove studio. Private, quiet, patio, w/d, no dogs/ smoking, $1,185 + utilities. (212)756-9934 daraum@gmail.com EAST HAMPTON house. Charming, cozy 2 BR, 1 bath, skylit sunroom, side patio with koi pond and fountain, large exotic fenced garden perfect for dog. All appliances. Walk to village. $1,500/ month. (631)324-2230 (631)764-4334

Bridgehampton Brand New *Spectacular 7,200sq. ft. 7BR, 7 full bath on 6 acres. Heated gunite pool, jacuzzi, tennis, basketball, gym, cook’s kitchen, DR, game room, 6 TVs. *Also 7 BR, 5 bath house avail with all amenities. Weekly or weekends. Owner 212-285-2440 www.theresidencesof.com

SOUTHAMPTON post modern, 4 bedroom 3 bath, CAC, heated pool, first floor master, cathedral ceilings, on a cul-de-sac. MD- LD $45k. (516)532-7148

WESTHAMPTON 6 bedroom, 3 bath, large inground pool, nice amenities, close to town and beach, fully stocked kitchen, will send photos. MD- LD $20,000/ July $10,000 646-734-7399

Morley Agency 38 Hampton Road Southampton, NY 631/283-8100 www.morleyagency.com

WESTHAMPTON Bath & Tennis. 2 rooms MD- LD, queen $11,500, double $15,000. Monthly, weekly. (917)523-7099

Southampton Villagge- Manicured Traditional! Tastefully stylish, bright and spacious, cathedral living, 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, central air, heated pool. MD– LD $72,000

Westhampton Beach BARGAIN. Studio on the bay, tennis, pool, restaurant, salon, spa & beach on premises. Have a great time! $6,500/ month. $14,900 MD- LD. Linda 845-558-1889

Southampton Village: Charming house w/ guest cottage. 5 BR’s, 4 baths, heated pool, Viking/ Bosch/ granite kitchen, beautiful bathrooms, walk to train, village, shops. MD- LD $40,000. 212-947-9259 alto251@gmail.com

Westhampton Beach Ocean Side Dune Road CO-OP 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, Season rental Memorial Day through Labor Day $22,000. July- August 18,000. This is it. Gorgeous, approximately 600 sq. ft., fully renovated, tiled floors, new kitchen, new bath, immaculate light decor. Enjoy ocean beach, pool, gym, bayside access for small boat, safe with manager on premises. No pets.

Southampton Village Charming old Victorian offers bright, cheerful 1 and 2 bedroom apartMorley Agency ments, completely furnished, 38 Hampton Road each with private entrances and Southampton, NY porches. Beautifully landscaped. drbelfiore@optonline.net. 631/283-8100 Walk to all. Cable, internet inwww.morleyagency.com cluded. Available MD- LD. No smoking, no pets. 631-283-7043 Southampton- Waterview Con- 646-942-3870 temporary! Close to Village, Shinnecock Bay vistas, 3 bedMorley Agency rooms, 2 baths, central air, spa38 Hampton Road cious deck, heated pool. MD – Southampton, NY LD $37,000 631/283-8100 www.morleyagency.com Westhampton: Beachfront, Morley Agency Dune Road. Fully furnished top 38 Hampton Road Water Mill- Inviting Barn Style floor view with stunning ocean Southampton, NY Delight! Private acre, gourmet views. Newly decorated with 631/283-8100 kitchen, 5 bedrooms, 3 baths, "beachy all white feel," whimsiwww.morleyagency.com central air, brick terrace, heated cally decorated 1 BR with Queen pool. MD– LD $50,000 size murphy bed in LR, sleeps 4, Southampton CondoNear Ocean Convenience! Village lo- WATER MILL Huge house full bath, updated kitchen, cable, cation, pool and tennis relaxing with 20x40 heated pool, 8 person IPod player, stereo, Internet acamenities, 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, hot tub, basketball court, beauti- cess, heated pool, tennis, no pets patio, central air. MD– LD fully landscaped, very private or smoking. MD- LD $22,000 August (07/31-09/06) yard, outdoor shower and bath, July/ $21,000 Ext. Season stainless kitchen. Great layout, $20,000 Aimee SOUTHAMPTON 7 BRs, 6 central air, 5.5 bathrooms, wire- (05/15-10/15) $29,000 Bathrooms, 2 living rooms, less net, fully equipped to sleep Fitzpatrick Martin, Prudential Elpool, tennis, totally renovated many. Must see!!! MD- LD liman 631-357-0016 Winter '09/ '10. $85k MD- LD $60,000. Kevin (516)316-1172 (917)941-8389 Greg WESTHAMPTON Beautiful 4 www.freewebs.com/kdaley25 BR w/ waterview, boat dock, Southampton: Attractively fur- WATER MILL 9 acres on pri- heated pool, Jacuzzi. Very prinished, adorable studio apart- vate pond, 5 BR, 4 bath, heated vate. MD- LD $56,000, Aug., ment. Private entrance. Pretty gunite pool, 2 miles to South- $25,000. 917-592-6939 garden. Large, beautiful home. ampton, 5 minutes from ocean. Caring owners. Season $10,400. July $35,000, August $40,000, (631)283-8613 season $85,000. (917)572-5090 WESTHAMPTON CONDO ON DUNE ROAD BEACH Southampton: guest suite in Water Mill Cottage historic house, sitting room, BR, Westhampton Bath & private bath and entrance, TV, Tennis 1 bedroom suite 2 bed, 2 bath, recently fridge, microwave, walk to train, overlooking ocean. renovated. Swimming pool, village, Jitney. Suitable 1 or 2, Prime unit, marina, tennis, tennis, A/C. Available no pets. MD- LD, $7,500. pool, spa, gym, MD- LD,, $25,000 (631)283-0730 restaurants... 631-726-4477 SOUTHAMPTON Townhouse Available daily, weekly, 3 bedroom, 2.5 Bath, pool, Westhampton Beach. Yardarm monthly or MD- LD. tennis, gym, maid. July condos. 2 bedroom, 2 bath, By Owner on Dune Rd. $12,500, August $14,500. oceanfront Call Jeff: Call (201)650-1466 Available for July only $15,000 Cell (201)723-9440 jbeanj0624@aol.com. (914)497-7855

East Hampton Springs 2 BR, 2 bath contemporary, CAC, finished basement, clean, bright. Abuts town reserve insuring the utmost privacy. Close to Bay beaches. Available year round. $2,250 per month Call (516)380-0538 HAMPTON BAYS/ SOUTHAMPTON Water view. 1 Bedroom or efficiency unit available. Furnished or unfurnished. Near college. Reasonable. (631)764-3834 (631)283-8676 Hampton Bays 1 BR apt. Kitchenette, Suitable 1, Private Entrance, Available April 1. No Pets/ smoking. $750/ month. (516)456-4428 Hampton Bays/ Shinnecock Hills. 3 BR ranch, wrap deck, steps to beach and Shinnecock Canal. 5 minutes to Village. By Owner, $1,800. (631)806-4387. Hampton Bays: 2 bedroom, 2 bath, EIK, full basement, w/d, fenced in yard, $1,700/ month (631)283-4299 Sag Harbor Avail immediately. Beautifully renovated charming waterfront cottage, 2/ 3 BR's, 2 baths, dock, little private beach, 2 minutes to Village. $3,500 monthly.

Southampton: Sunny, immaculate, smoke free 2nd floor studio. $1,000, utilities except phone included. (631)259-3334.

EAST HAMPTON PRE-SEASON SPECIAL! Cozy, compact well maintained cottage. 2 bedrooms, 1 bath separate studio with sleeping area outside back door. Stroll to nearby Maidstone Beach. Convenient to town and other attractions. View cottage at www.vrbo.com listing #261359. Weekly rental $1,500. Call (347)677-6422 SAG HARBOR SPRING SPECIAL Absolutely charming, historic district 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, wood stove, AC, walk to village, Now- May 25 $4,000; month $1,800 plus utilities; week $800, weekend $500. See pics at www.rafikiproductions.com/house.

(646)479-5884

Rooms HAMPTON BAYS WATERFRONT Rooms Available For Rent With Kitchen & Private Bath Walking Disttance To Montauk Highway $695/ Month Unfurnished $775/ Month Furnished $200 Weekly Furnished $75 Dailly Furnished For Further Information Call (631) 728-5131 Sag Harbor: Share home in Village with professional female. Own room, year round or long season. $1,000. (631)338-5421

(631)487-5519

Commercial Sag Harbor: Village Ranch. 2 BR, 1.5 Bath W/D, EIK, DW, Full Basement, Garage, Dead End Street. Minutes from Main Street. Available 4/1/10, $2,250+ 631-725-4895 SOUTHAMPTON luxury townhouse 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, finished basement, pool, tennis, gym. $2,500/ month. Call (201)650-1466

GREENPORT Great location! Front Street. Approximately 1,300 s.f. Rent $1,950. Tel. (631)477-1470 Monday- Friday 8:30 am- 4:30 pm. HAMPTON BAYS: Buildings: 3,600 sq. ft. $2400/ month; 2,000 sq. ft. $1,500/ month. Both have Heat, Bathroom. 220 3ph volts. (631)728-1114

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com


DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 60 www.danshamptons.com

2EAL%STATEFOR2ENT2EAL%STATEFOR3ALE Commercial

Homes

Hampton Bays: commercial garage located on Montauk Hwy. Perfect for tradesman. 2,296 sq. ft. on high bay space accessed by two 14' overhead drive in doors plus an additional 900 sq. ft. of mezzanine space, a finished office with full HVAC. Has large gated outdoor storage. Available immediately. $3,500 gross rent. Please call Lisa at (631)728-0661

East Hampton secluded acre, sunny 3 BR, 2 bath, granite counter-tops, oak floors, pool. (631)287-0502.

Shelter Island: Commercial property for rent. 250sf retail space with excellent visibility on Route 114. $750 monthly. Available April 1. Call 631-749-4062

East Hampton Springs 2 BR, 2 bath contemporary, CAC, finished basement, clean, bright. Abuts town reserve insuring the utmost privacy. Close to Bay beaches. Owner financing available. $550k. Call (516)380-0538

WATER MILL- 3,250 square feet. Prime Montauk Highway, $5,950/ $4,000/ $2,000. Offices at $325, $675, $1,000. Doctor's office $1,100. Call Ben (212)685-6500 Westhampton Beach: Old Riverhead Rd., great exposure, (2) 900 sq. ft spaces, or (1) 1,800 sq. ft. with basement. Ron East Hampton Springs, Reno(516)456-3186 vated 3 BR, 2 bath ranch, New everything! LR w/ fplc, new stainless & granite kitchen, 1/2 Homes acre, room for pool, deeded private marina and beach. Morley Agency $519,000. 516-769-1050 38 Hampton Road Southampton, NY East Quogue WATERFRONT! 631/283-8100 75' Dockage. Sunfilled ranch. www.morleyagency.com CAC, Full basement, Great $725,500. (owner) Bridgehampton– Price Reduc- Room. tion Opportunity! Private 2.3 (631)728-1174 acre setting near “Bridge� and “Atlantic� golf courses. ComHAMPTON BAYS fortable 3 bedroom, 2 bath Main Cozy Waterfront cottage. House, pool, oversized garage Nature lover’s paradise. with huge artist studio. ExcluTwo bedrooms, one bath sive $1,099,000 and garage on 1.1 acres with deep water dock and six hundred feet of waterfront. EAST HAMPTON Private with great views. Reduced $875,000 2 for the price of 1! South Fork Realty 2 cottages for sale by owner. (631)728-6565 Income producing with ability to expand. 2 separate cottages with HAMPTON BAYS 2 legal CO’s. Perfect Beach House. Each with 1 bedroom, Walk to Tiana Beach 1 bath. AC, private, association. Open airy steps to bay beach, ranch with three bedrooms, Newly renovated two and a half baths, large sun porch, finished Steal it at $399K basement, and garage. (917)714-6432 Patio surrounds pool, deck and hot tub. Half acre nicely landscaped. $675,000 South Fork Realty (631)728-6565

EAST HAMPTON 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 1,534 s.f, .6 acre, fireplace, deck, full basement. $535K. Owner (516)589-4427 EAST HAMPTON DREAM BEACHHOUSE. 3 Bedrooms, 2 newly renovated baths, huge EIK, new stainless steel appliances, heated pool, on private half acre, one mile to private gated beach and marina. $599,000. Call Owner. (516)343-5592 georgiae52@optonline.net

Homes

HAMPTON BAYS/ Red Creek newly renovated 7 bedroom, 7 bath 10 minutes from Southampton. Must see! $949,000. (631)286-4726 Morley Agency 38 Hampton Road Southampton, NY 631/283-8100 www.morleyagency.com SouthamptonValue Priced Best Buy! Vaulted ceiling living, open dining, family room, brick fireplace, hardwood floors, tiled kitchen, 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, central air, garage, room for pool. Exclusive $495,000

Westhampton Beach $299,000 Great starter/ summer home in the heart of the Village. Close to all. New roof/ siding/ heating system & hot water heater. Plenty of room for expansion. Rose Alfano Lic. R.E. Salesperson 631-335-8810 ra@firsthamptonrealty.com www.gothamptons.com WESTHAMPTON waterfront with bay views, 4 bedrooms, 5 full baths, gourmet kitchen, 2 fireplaces, media room, heated gunite pool, extensive decking, catwalk to own private dock. $2,699,000. Available for summer rental. Owner (631)331-5890

Condos/Co-Ops

Expansive Waterview Southampton: Estate FSBO 4,500 sq ft beautifully remodeled 4 BR, 3.5 bath contemporary home, on a 2 acre hilltop overlooking the Great Peconic Bay. Recently reduced $2,100,000 Tour online @

HAMPTON BAYS Just reduced! Water view 2 BR Co-op. Move- in condition and very short walk to beach. $329,000 South Fork Realty (631)728-6565

NYC

Commercial

Manorville- Hamptons Gateway Spectacular custom 6,000 sq.ft. stone ranch. 6.7 acres. Spacious living/ entertainment area, luxurious MBr suite, commercial kit., media rm, pool, cabana, more. 3 Bedroom, 2.55 Bath, $1,350,000. Bob (631)360-1900 ext 260

Westhampton: 15,500 sq. ft. building, zoned HB on 2.6 acres. Exclusive, Richmond Realty (631)727-5500 ext: 13

Out of Town

Southampton Village condo unit in top location 1 bed, 1 bath reduced to sell now $299,000 ID No. 22998

Hudson Valley Home 1 hour from NYC.... 4-5 BR In Exclusive Family Club (hedge fund population). Swimming, Tennis, Riding, Sailing, Club House. $800,000. 631-523-6481

Commercial WESTHAMPTON BEACH 2,200 s.f. fully trussed professional building, steps from Main Street. 70% % leased. Great location, Great Price. $750,000 Owner (631) 327-6666

Realtor Listings Engel & VĂślkers 20 Main St Southampton 631-287-9260 engelvoelkers.com/southampton

Southampton: California dreaming cute contemporary 2 beds, 1 bath and pool $499,000 ID No. 12517 Southampton Chalet 3000+ sq. ft. Old world charm, 2 fireplaces, pristine woods, worth a look! $649,000 ID No. 12176 Southampton handyman’s waterfront cozy ranch on ocean inlet, great investment. $650,000 ID No. 13185 Southampton hidden ranch 4 beds, 2 baths on .5 acre room for pool, close to Village/ocean. $795,000 ID No. 15448

CORCORAN www.corcoran.com Amagansett Office 140 Main Street 631.267.3900 Amagansett. Steps to ocean beach, sunrise to sunset view contemporary. 200 ft. to your ocean beach blanket. Exclusive $2M WEB# 52739 Dakota Arkin 917.331.3919

http://buythisfsbo.com/Southampton/

or call (631)283-5195 Southampton: 1.5 story, 4 BR, 3 bath, renovated, granite counter-tops, oak floors, pool. $748,000. (631)287-0502

Southampton Village A Classic Colonial in the heart of the village. 4 BRs, 2 Baths. Heated Gunite pool and spa tub. Now $1,495,000! www.Hulserealtygroup.com. Internet #44122. Call Mary Broidy (917) 287-5207 Beau Hulse Realty Group

Hampton Bays: Investment opportunity. Apartment building for sale, (3) 1 BR's, (1) 3 BR, large lot, close to beach, income is $60k plus per annum. $590,000. (917)355-2687 Hampton Bays: Investment property. Large 5 BR, 5.5 bath colonial on 1.1 acre flag lot, includes second floor accessory apt & finished basement. Owner wants offers! Exclusive $750,000. Flocee Realty (631)728-0487

Homes

FkPlrqe^jmqlk)>Ilq JlobQe^k>Ilq+ This lot is almost 2/3 of an acre. It’s on a cul-de-sac. It’s wooded. It’s quiet. It’s gorgeous. And it’s close to the Village and the beaches. Let your imagination run wild. A starter home? A retirement home? The possibilities are almost endless. What is it? What could it be? Certainly, it’s a lot more than a lot, and you’re going to fall in love with it. Just reduced $269,000. Southampton ¡ Telephone +1-631-287-9260 Southampton@engelvoelkers.com www.engelvoelkers.com/southampton ¡

WATER MILL Newly renovated 3BR, 2BA, 15' beamed ceilings. Farm views on 1 acre, 5 min to ocean beaches/town. $899K owner (principals only), Priced to sell 646-265-8783

To place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 61 www.danshamptons.com

2EAL%STATEFOR3ALE Realtor Listings Amagansett. Secluded dunes retreat, new Listing: 4 bedroom contemporary on shy acre. Heated pool and hot tub. Exclusive $1.8M WEB# 44046 Agnes Bristel 631.267.7402

Realtor Listings Rose 631.67.7420

Montauk. Ditch Plains opportunity, build less than a block from the best surfing beach on the East Coast. Exclusive $375K WEB# 5405 John Taylor Amagansett. South of Highway, 3,000 631.267.7453 SF +/- traditional steps to ocean beach and village. Room for pool. Co-Exclu- Montauk. Suit your lifestyle, 6,500 SF sive $5.995M WEB# 55427 Phyllis Es- +/- full-service oceanfront stand-alone tey 631.267.7431 co-op, build it your way. Co-Exclusive $9.95M WEB# 28744 Krae Van Sickle Amagansett. Walls of windows, mod- 631.267.7400 ern architectural 3 bedroom Lanes home on .74 acre. Heated pool. ExcluBridgehampton Offices sive $3M WEB# 55728 Ted Goldbergh 1936 Montauk Hwy/ 2405 Main St 631.267.7415 631.537.3900/ 631.537.7773 Water Mill. Waterview, tongue and groove 4 bedroom contemporary on shy acre. CAC, garage, pool. Exclusive $855K Web# 44146 Erin Keneally 631.267.7426

Water Mill. Condo with pool and tennis, 3 floor Townhouse, 2 bedrooms and a den, 3.5 baths, fpl, CAC, basement. Exclusive $599K WEB# 47780 Renee Despins 917.439.3404

East Hampton. All the bells and whisEast Hampton Office tles, 2,517 SF +/- on 1 acre, off private 51 Main Street road. Pool, patio, parking, garage. Ex631.324.3900/6900 clusive $1.695M WEB# 31778 Brian Nicholson 631.267.7406 Amagansett. Elegant village oasis, renovated 2,700 SF +/- traditional home, East Hampton. Best value cottage, 3 steps to all, heated gunite pool. Co-Exbedroom, 3 bath, heated pool, jacuzzi, clusive $2M WEB# 47649 Arlene patio. Finished basement with separate Reckson 631.331.3919 entrance. Exclusive $599K WEB# 27107 Martha Perlin 631.267.7417 Amagansett. Beachcomber cottage on Napeague Harbor. Boat or swim from Amagansett. Beachfront diamond, great your own beach, stroll to the ocean. Exopportunity to buy under $1M on the clusive $1.9M WEB# 24717 Krae Vanwater. Idyllic location. Exclusive Sickle 631.267.7400 $985K WEB# 41933 Arlene Reckson 917.331.3919 Bridgehampton. New Bridgehampton retail, now available 2,500 SF +/- with Amagansett. Nappeague Waterfront, off street parking, office space, elevaaffordable beachfront diamond in the tor. Retail Lease Web# 9802 John S. ruff, renovate your dream cottage. Co- Herman 631.899.0218 Exclusive $750K WEB# 41933 Arlene Reckson 631.267.7422 Montauk Office 729D Montauk Highway Amagansett. 1 story Lanes Traditional, 631.668.3500 immaculate, newly renovated with heated pool and large backyard. Exclu- Montauk. Sun and surf, 4 bedroom, 2.5 sive $1.695M WEB# 53375 Suzanne bath ranch 2 blocks from Ditch Plains

Realtor Listings

Realtor Listings

swells. Exclusive $795K WEB# 23765 heart of Business District. Income producer. 5 br/ 2 ba, 2 kit., new roof. John Taylor 631.267.7453 Close to all. F#2246494 Sag Harbor Office Hampton Bays $489,000 Ranch. 3 155 Main St. & Madison br/ 2 ba, fin.bsmt., .39 acre, rm for 631.725.1500 pool, 2 car garage, cac, frpl., eik, fdr, F#70666 Sag Harbor. Pristine little gem, 2 bedroom, 1 bath, chef's kitchen, garage. Hampton Bays $499,000 Traditional Less than a .25 miles from Long Beach. 4 Br/ 3Ba, 3939 sq.ft., frpl., fulbsmt, Rental MD- LD $18K WEB# 79346 pool, .32 acre, quiet neighborhood. Cee Scott Brown 631.899.0119 F#58702

7B?L?Q;MNB;N JFOG<?LÂ&#x2026;M;> -SQC@?M=L?;G?> !MMB?L;H )@Q?>IHÂ&#x2026;N @CH>IH?MIIH 7?Â&#x2026;FF<?MQCGGCHA NIF;H>

Southampton Office 88 Main Street 631.283.7300

Hampton Bay $444,000 Expanded Ranch, Immaculate condition, 3 br/ 2 ba, 1460 sq.ft., cac, frpl., garage, .38-acre, wood flrs, cul-de-sac. Southampton. Village light industrial, F#71771 rare opportunity on 1.4 acres with 7,500 SF +/- building. Call for details. Hampton Bays $349,000 Cabin, 512 Exclusive $2.25M WEB# 9904 Krae sq.ft., 1 room, 1 bath, OHW, 1.2 VanSickle 631.267.7400 acres, wooded lot, weekend getaway. F#69946 Southampton. Gem in village-Estate Section. 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bath,. gour- Hampton Bays $499,000 Ranch in met kitchen, heated pool. Exclusive Nautical Neighborhood, 2 br/ 2 ba, $3.795M WEB# 40943 Judi Krauss full bsmt, 1051 sq.ft., OHA, beach 631.204.2615 rights. F#71367 Prudential Douglas Elliman Hampton Bays Office 631.723.2721 www.prudentialelliman.com

Hampton Bays $538,000 Ranch, turn key, 3 br/ 2 ba, frml dr, cac, frpl, 1800, sqft. .50 acre, near Peconic beach, F#71047

Hampton Bays $789,999 2 story Post Modern, 3 br/ 3.5 ba, fin. bsmt, fully renovated, .5 acre, pool, guest house. F#68840 Hampton Bays $289,000 CO-OP Bayviews, 1 Br/ 1 Ba, IGP, CAC, deck, docking rights, tennis. F#2250422 Hampton Bays $379,000 Ranch, 3 br/ 2 ba, full bsmnt, 1339 sq. ft., .30 acre, frple, 1car garage, EIK, extra room for den or family. F#67122 Riverhead $469,000 Legal 2 family in

Service Directory Deadline 5pm Wednesday

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DAN'S PAPERS, March 26, 2010 Page 62 www.danshamptons.com

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Dan's Papers Mar. 26, 2010