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WAGs Guide To The World Cup By Sophie Kane Dom Kullander


Not Again Productions 2010

Sophie Kane: Dom Kullander

TITLES A ball rolls towards camera. A high-heeled foot controls it, titles appear "WAGs Guide To The World Cup" INT. BARBIE STADIUM. DAY. Barbie’s move round the pitch, shake hands, do keepy-uppies, rollerskate. BARBIE (V/O) Move over boys, this is the real guide to the football this summer! Rule Number 1 appears on the screen. BARBIE Rule number one: only kick the ball with your feet- no hands! A barbie handles the ball accompanied by a red X! BARBIE Remember girls, appropriate footwear! A high heel turns in to a trainer. BARBIE Rule number two: only kick the ball to the players wearing your colour. White is so in this season! More footage of barbie making a pass. BARBIE And rule number three, the aim of the game is to kick the ball in the goal. Barbie scores a goal. BARBIE Celebration is key! The crowd mexican wave as barbie celebrates.


EXT. WIDE LANE SEATS. DAY. "WAGs Match Essentials" appears on screen. Barbie is sitting in the stands at a match. BARBIE So lets go over those match day must-have’s! Barbie places a bulging, over-filled stripey bag on the seat next to her. Fast titles accompany the items. BARBIE Straighteners, brush, lipgloss, mirror, magazine (for those boring in between bits!), perfume, fake tan, nale file... The men sitting next to her look over disapprovingly as she reels the list off. BARBIE ...Blackberry, to keep up with the gossip obviously! A montage of her reactions to goals and the action is shown. She is reading a mag and is startled by cheering and screams. She is attempting to heckle the referee. BARBIE Ref sort your look out, FYI those shorts are doing nothing for you darling! A goal goal is scored, she scrambles for the mirror and lipgloss. BARBIE David! David! Over here!!! Coooeeee!!! Barbie is alone in the stands, its half time. BARBIE So that is all you need for a day at the football. Barbie looks as if she’s finished her presenting. BARBIE (Off camera) What do you mean that was only half?? So there’s another half of (MORE) (CONTINUED)



BARBIE (cont’d) it?? No no no I have got nails at 4 and highlights at 5, I am outta here girlfriend. Out of my way! Her bulging bag smacks into a pie-eating supporter. INT. CHANGING ROOMS (STUDIO). DAY. A tactics board is present on the side of shot, with the projector in the middle. Barbie stands, looking managerial. BARBIE Let’s talk tactics girls. The first three teams England take on are the USA, Algeria and Slovenia and there is some top talent we need to be looking out for. USA comes up on the projector. BARBIE This is *PLAYER 1*, he plays right wing for America. Barbie points to the corresponding position on the tactics board. BARBIE And just look at those leg muscles! Algeria then comes up on screen. BARBIE *PLAYER 2* plays defender for Algeria, so he has to be big and strong to stop the other team scoring a goal. And his eyes make me tingle! Slovinia then appears. BARBIE Fast, slippery and quick with his feet, its *PLAYER 3* who plays winger for Slovinia. He’s got to be quick to avoid all those tackles, and his cheekbones are carved from stone! The projector shows a big England badge.




BARBIE Top talent we’d all agree, but they’ve got nothing on our boys. Now if you’ll excuse me I hear Ashley Cole is single, I need to book my flights for South Africa!! CREDITS. Barbies perform stop motion skits whilst names appear. Not Again Productions 2010 (c).

WAGs Guide To The World Cup The slightly more sophisticated and amazing (questionable) version of the boys show.

WAGs Guide To The World Cup The slightly more sophisticated and amazing (questionable) version of the boys show.